Latest / Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for People Pleasers / 148: Headspace, Heartspace & Theta Healing

Transcript

148: Headspace, Heartspace & Theta Healing · Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for People Pleasers

• 0:21
  Well, hello and welcome back.
• 0:22
  My name is MaryAnn Walker and I'm the life coach for the helpers, the healers and the highly sensitive.
• 0:27
  And today we're going to be exploring the idea of head space and heart space.
• 0:31
  If you're somebody that gets really stuck in your head, if you're experiencing a lot of anxiety, if you're experiencing a lot of, kind of that fight or flight response happening right now, this is the episode for you.
• 0:42
  We're going to talk about how to drop into your heart space and kind of observe when you're sliding into that Headspace.
• 0:49
  So I know that for many of my listeners, many of you are healers yourselves.
• 0:53
  And you already know the importance of stepping out of ego and really stepping into that heart centered energy.
• 1:01
  So hopefully today I'll give you a few more ideas around how to do that, so that you can show up more effectively as a healer, and also just show up more in your own energy as you go throughout your day-to-day life.
• 1:11
  So first let's talk a bit about Headspace energy.
• 1:16
  When we're in our head space, that's when we're experiencing fear, anxiety, and overthinking everything.
• 1:22
  Okay.
• 1:22
  We're just have those thought loops going on.
• 1:24
  Repeat over and over.
• 1:25
  When we're in Headspace, then we're operating through an unhealthy ego.
• 1:30
  This leads to stress at least to try to control things that are actually outside of our control and also leads to judgment.
• 1:36
  This is where you're going to be experiencing a lot of"should" statements either they should be doing this, or I should be experiencing this.
• 1:43
  There's kind of a lot coming up in that head space around that.
• 1:47
  Okay.
• 1:47
  So some common signs that you're in Headspace is you have heightened emotions.
• 1:52
  You're feeling extra defensive, or maybe you're easily offended.
• 1:56
  You're reacting instead of responding.
• 1:59
  You're justifying reasoning and defending rather than actually listening and receiving.
• 2:05
  You might be experiencing fear, anger, resentment, or judgment.
• 2:09
  Maybe you're taking things extra personally, when really they weren't meeting it personally, or maybe you're struggling to receive from other people.
• 2:16
  This might mean struggling to receive their love, attention, affection, or even just struggling to receive feedback in general.
• 2:23
  It kind of creates this feeling overall of just not being good enough.
• 2:27
  Headspace also really negatively impacts the nervous system because when we're in our head space, it's sending us into our fight or flight response or sometimes our freeze response.
• 2:37
  Okay.
• 2:37
  So this is also known as hyper or hypo arousal.
• 2:42
  So when we're in hyper arousal, this is our fight or flight response.
• 2:46
  This leaves us feeling extremely emotional or unsafe or feeling overwhelmed.
• 2:51
  You might have racing thoughts, impulsivity, or poor judgment going on.
• 2:55
  Maybe you're overreacting or obsessing over problems.
• 2:58
  You might notice that your heart is racing and your mind is telling you I am not safe right now.
• 3:04
  Okay.
• 3:05
  There might need to be a disconnect where you're realizing consciously that.
• 3:08
  Well, I know I am safe, but my body is in freak out mode.
• 3:11
  And my body is telling me that I'm not safe right now.
• 3:15
  And so when this happens, then our prefrontal cortex is offline, meaning that it's going to be a lot harder to think clearly.
• 3:21
  It's going to be hard to separate out our feelings from our facts, because we're going to assume that because I have big feelings around this because I have a lot of anxiety around this, then this must be the truth.
• 3:33
  We think our feelings are facts, but that is not always the case.
• 3:36
  Okay.
• 3:37
  So just notice if that's kind of where you're at.
• 3:40
  Now some signs that you might be in hypo arousal, the hypo arousal is kind of the freeze part of the fight flight freeze.
• 3:47
  K.
• 3:48
  So you might be freezing or you might be fawning just trying to placate others, but you're not actually addressing what's going on inside of you.
• 3:54
  So if you're in hypo arousal, you might be feeling numb, drained.
• 3:59
  Mentally foggy.
• 4:00
  Maybe you're feeling ashamed, maybe you're feeling isolated or hopeless.
• 4:04
  Like, well, nobody's going to understand, I'm just going to shut down for a little while.
• 4:09
  Maybe you're even disassociating or really struggling to see the future.
• 4:12
  You're having a hard time.
• 4:14
  Believing the idea that today is not forever.
• 4:17
  You're really stuck in no, but this is how bad it is right now.
• 4:20
  And now it's going to be this way, henceforth and forever.
• 4:23
  So I might as well just shut down.
• 4:26
  So that's what the Headspace is going to be creating for us.
• 4:28
  Again, it's that fight flight or freeze response, the hyper or hypo arousal.
• 4:33
  And that is remedied by shifting into our heart space.
• 4:38
  So our heart space is where we create that emotional safety.
• 4:42
  We feel more clear and calm.
• 4:44
  It's where our intuition lives.
• 4:46
  So signs that you're in your heart space, you may be feeling more centered and present.
• 4:51
  It's easier for you to just sit and hear someone's opinion without being emotionally triggered by them.
• 4:56
  Right.
• 4:56
  You can actually hear what they have to say.
• 4:59
  Receive what it is that is true, and also maybe reflect back.
• 5:03
  Oh, that's interesting.
• 5:04
  And I can understand that point.
• 5:05
  And have you considered this idea?
• 5:07
  But it's not coming out it through that lens of defensiveness, but more a compassionate curiosity.
• 5:12
  In the heart space, we're better able to self-sooth we're better able to regulate our emotions to know what it is that we need in the moment, instead of making our emotions so loud that we're now making our emotions, someone else's problem to navigate.
• 5:25
  We are able to be tuned in as to what is it that I need right now?
• 5:30
  It's the difference between responding rather than reacting.
• 5:35
  When we're in the heart space, we're able to differentiate between our thoughts and our feelings.
• 5:41
  We're able to differentiate between facts and feelings.
• 5:44
  We're able to better tolerate life's ups and downs without going into panic mode.
• 5:49
  And also when we're in our heart space, then you may experience some enhanced intuition.
• 5:54
  You're better able to read the energy.
• 5:56
  You're better able to read facial expressions.
• 5:58
  You're better able to be in tune with your intuitive gifts because you're not over and over the activated, right.
• 6:04
  You're more in tuned to those sensitivities.
• 6:06
  And so a lot of people, when they really start practicing tuning into their heart energy, they recognize that, oh, I do have some intuitive gifts here, and they actually have the space to nurture those.
• 6:17
  Heart energy is expansive, it is calm, it is clear and it is focused.
• 6:23
  So, how do you get there?
• 6:24
  Right.
• 6:25
  How do you go from the head space of fear, anxiety, and overwhelm, and really kind of settled down into the heart space.
• 6:32
  I will say that for me personally, the most effective thing I've ever done around getting into heart space has been coaching.
• 6:39
  That's why I decided to become a coach because I really appreciated all of the tools that I was given in coaching that were able to help me to be more calm and more centered in myself.
• 6:48
  It's especially easy when you are a highly sensitive person.
• 6:51
  When you are an empath to get sucked into all of the emotional reactions going on around you.
• 6:56
  And that makes it easy to get sucked into the head space of your own head or somebody else's.
• 7:01
  And so really practicing, stepping into that heart energy helped me to better differentiate self.
• 7:06
  It helped me to feel more peace and more calm within me.
• 7:09
  So coaching has been extremely beneficial for me in that regard.
• 7:15
  It's especially helpful when it comes to separating out our thoughts, our feelings, and really slowing down what it is that's happening between your ears and having somebody outside of you that is able to reflect back to you, your experience, even just calling it out, like, okay, well, right now it appears that you're in fight flight or freeze so right now, then your nervous system is in hypo or hyper mode.
• 7:37
  Right.
• 7:37
  But then having somebody outside of you reflect that back to you, it can help to bring that prefrontal cortex back online.
• 7:43
  In fact, I know I've said this on here before, but I'm going to make sure I include it in this episode is if you find that you are in fight flight freeze quite often.
• 7:51
  It can be extremely helpful to just ask yourself two questions.
• 7:56
  The first question is, am I safe?
• 7:59
  This will help to bring your prefrontal cortex back on.
• 8:01
  Sometimes when we're in fight flight freeze.
• 8:03
  We are in freak out mode and we might be physically safe, no one is there trying to hurt us, but our body is reacting differently, right?
• 8:11
  Our body is saying, no, no, no, I am in danger.
• 8:13
  So the first question is, am I safe?
• 8:15
  And then the second question is, do I feel safe?
• 8:19
  That helps to differentiate between what's happening in your mind.
• 8:22
  What's happening in your heart.
• 8:23
  What's happening in your body.
• 8:24
  It can help to bring that prefrontal cortex back online and help you to assess for self that okay.
• 8:29
  Yeah, it's true right now.
• 8:30
  I am safe.
• 8:31
  No one is coming in here.
• 8:33
  Nobody is busting down my door to attack me.
• 8:36
  And also my body is feeling really anxious.
• 8:39
  Right.
• 8:39
  But we're able to assess that.
• 8:40
  Okay.
• 8:41
  But I am actually safe.
• 8:42
  And that means that I also now have the safety, where I can address what is happening in my body.
• 8:48
  I can take that moment to check in with my body because I'm not under attack and say, okay, body, what is it that you need right now?
• 8:54
  Okay right now, I just need to be under my weighted blanket or right now I just really need some warm soup.
• 9:00
  I know my current comfort food is egg drop soup.
• 9:02
  I just love this stuff.
• 9:04
  So I might get some egg drop soup for comfort or a cup of tea.
• 9:07
  But then I can tend to my body and my nervous system.
• 9:10
  Which is a very different thing than tending to your own personal safety.
• 9:14
  So asking those two questions can let your brain know I am physically safe and that can let you know, I need to approach this differently in order to calm my nervous system so I can bring my prefrontal cortex back online and settle back into that heart energy.
• 9:32
  so coaching is my number one tip for getting into that heart space, energy.
• 9:35
  Another tip is just finding your own grounding practices, whatever resonates with you.
• 9:40
  Maybe it is walking outside barefoot.
• 9:42
  Maybe it's doing cold plunges.
• 9:43
  Maybe it's doing some breathing techniques, but find a grounding practice that works for you.
• 9:50
  Another thing that could be helpful is just setting the intention.
• 9:53
  And initially it's going to take practice.
• 9:56
  Right?
• 9:57
  I saw a clip recently, that you've probably seen, everybody's kind of using the audio for this, but it's this woman who is saying, no, it's not fair.
• 10:04
  She can't do this.
• 10:05
  And then she instantly recognizes that she is now in the hyper response mode.
• 10:10
  Right.
• 10:11
  And she instantly checks in and goes, whoa.
• 10:13
  Okay.
• 10:13
  That was a big reaction.
• 10:14
  I'm okay.
• 10:15
  And instantly shifts.
• 10:17
  The reason why that clip is so viral is because it takes a lot of practice to get to that point.
• 10:21
  Right.
• 10:22
  It's amazing to witness that.
• 10:23
  She's able to turn it around like that because for many of us, it takes some time to tend to our nervous system.
• 10:29
  Before we can get to that point, but as you practice this, you will actually shorten that gap so that you can have a quicker turnaround so that you can, for example, when you're yelling at your child, Recognizing the moment, oh, this is not how I want to show up and instantly turn it around and say, Hey, I apologize.
• 10:46
  I lost my temper.
• 10:48
  How can we approach this differently?
• 10:50
  Right.
• 10:51
  You will be able to shorten that gap and that's a sign that you're getting even better at tapping into that heart energy.
• 10:58
  When we're tapping into the heart energy, we're tapping into that theta state.
• 11:02
  And we're going to be talking a bit more about this theta state, because this is really a beneficial state to get in.
• 11:08
  Okay.
• 11:08
  The brain goes into all different kinds of state, but it's in the theta state that we experienced that deep relaxation and nervous system regulation.
• 11:17
  Okay.
• 11:17
  So the theta state activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps to calm stress and anxiety.
• 11:23
  When we are in fight or flight or hyper arousal, or maybe we're feeling shut down and we're in hypo arousal, then the theta waves can help to bring the body back into balance.
• 11:33
  It helps to reduce cortisol by promoting a sense of safety.
• 11:38
  The theta state also helps to enhance our own personal intuition and inner wisdom.
• 11:43
  As I said, this is a great gift that many of you healers already know about is tapping into that heart energy to increase that intuition and that inner wisdom, The theta waves are linked to heightened intuition and deeper self-awareness.
• 11:55
  And when you quiet the mind, then you can become even more attuned to these subtle energies and to subtle emotions.
• 12:02
  And even to unconscious patterns that may be guiding your decision-making.
• 12:07
  It's really hard to make decisions when you're in fight or flight.
• 12:10
  We want to react.
• 12:11
  And that isn't always helpful.
• 12:13
  So taking the time to really tune into your heart energy, get into that theta state can help you to really think more clearly about what would be the most helpful way to respond right now, rather than react.
• 12:26
  When we're in this heart space, theta, energy, it also helps to increase our own personal creativity, which also supports us in our problem solving right.
• 12:34
  Creativity and problem solving are in the same realm here.
• 12:38
  It gets us to a place where inspiration and insight can happen.
• 12:42
  Many artists, writers, and visionaries.
• 12:44
  Then they enter into the theta state when they're in that creative flow.
• 12:48
  So if you ever had an aha moment while you're meditating, or maybe right before falling asleep, then that is an example of this data, energy at work or this heart energy at work.
• 12:58
  Okay.
• 12:59
  I'm kind of using those two interchangeably.
• 13:01
  It also helps to rewire the brain and recognize limiting beliefs and change them in order to support healing.
• 13:09
  So theta is where the subconscious mind is most receptive.
• 13:13
  This makes it an ideal state for shifting those limiting beliefs for rewiring negative thought patterns and engaging in more deep healing work.
• 13:22
  It kind of is essentially just letting our guard down so that we can change our default settings.
• 13:27
  Oftentimes our fight or flight response is it's just kind of how we're made, right.
• 13:32
  That is our natural response is it's like, no, this keeps me safe.
• 13:35
  It's my body saying, Hey, if I can recognize the danger, then I can keep myself safe.
• 13:39
  But then we're also constantly in a reactive state rather than just an active state.
• 13:44
  Okay.
• 13:45
  So tuning into that heart energy can be really helpful here.
• 13:49
  So doing very simple things, like I said, come and work with me and, or work with another coach.
• 13:53
  Right?
• 13:53
  So coaching is really helpful.
• 13:55
  Guided meditations and breath work can be really helpful.
• 13:58
  Visualization can be helpful.
• 14:00
  I like to combine the breath work with the visualization, and we're going to do that in just a moment here.
• 14:04
  Also listening to those, those binaural beats that go kind of between the ears that can also be very helpful and sound healing could be helpful.
• 14:12
  Okay.
• 14:12
  So right now we're just going to do a little bit of a visual where we're going to breathe in and breathe out, but we're going to do it very mindfully.
• 14:20
  Okay.
• 14:20
  So you're going to be breathing in calm.
• 14:24
  Breathe in through your nose and then out through your mouth.
• 14:29
  imagine everything that isn't serving you, leaving your body.
• 14:31
  Okay, we're going to do that just a few more times, and I highly encourage you to do this several times throughout the day.
• 14:35
  Okay, so breathe in the positivity.
• 14:37
  I Breathe out the negativity.
• 14:44
  Breathe in clear, seeing.
• 14:48
  Breathe out confusion.
• 14:53
  Breathe in intuition.
• 14:57
  Breathe out distortion.
• 15:02
  K, just adding a little bit of intention to your breathing can really help to settle into that heart space, energy.
• 15:08
  And as I said before, as you practice this, the time it takes you to get into your heart space will shift dramatically, right?
• 15:15
  Like it's going to change so much quicker as you practice and lean into this.
• 15:20
  So as a reminder, we all get stuck in our head space from time to time.
• 15:23
  It's part of a human experience.
• 15:25
  So don't guilt yourself.
• 15:27
  If you notice that you're there, just recognize it, bring it into your conscious awareness so that you can make those shifts to get back into your heart space.
• 15:35
  We don't have to stay in our Headspace.
• 15:36
  Right.
• 15:37
  We can shift that.
• 15:38
  So find something that you can do as a part of your daily practice in order to get into that heart energy, because we need that heart energy now more than ever.
• 15:49
  If you recognize that you are in hyper or hypo arousal, and you're looking for some support around finding your center, come and work with me, I can help you to calm your nervous system and just live with more whole hearted peace.
• 16:03
  So thank you so much for being here.
• 16:05
  Don't forget to subscribe so that you can hear more of my content here.
• 16:09
  Also come and check out all my socials, all the links in the show notes, you know, the drill.
• 16:12
  So come and check it out.
• 16:14
  I would love to connect on other platforms as well.
• 16:16
  All right.
• 16:16
  I hope you have a great week and let's talk soon.
• 16:18
  Bye now.