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MONEY DIARIES: A Humble & Huge Heart · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kernye Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
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Speaker 2: one of our money daries where I get to talk
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Speaker 2: to one of our incredible She's on the Money community
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Speaker 2: members all about their financial and life journey. Let's jump
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Speaker 2: straight into it, because this week I got a message
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Speaker 2: that went like this, Hi, Victoria. My brothers and I
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Speaker 2: were raised by our single mum and watched her experience
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Speaker 2: bankruptcy after leaving a domestic violence relationship with my dad,
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Speaker 2: who is also a gambling addict after my own mental
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Speaker 2: health and health struggles. I'm now working in child protection
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Speaker 2: after nine years at university, and I'm earning a full
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Speaker 2: time salary for the first time ever at age twenty seven.
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Speaker 2: Before we jump even further into this episode and welcome
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Speaker 2: our beautiful moneydarist to the show, I do want to
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Speaker 2: just give a bit of a content warning here. This
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Speaker 2: week's episode we're going to discuss things like eating disorders,
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Speaker 2: domestic violence, abuse, and depression. So if that is not
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Speaker 2: an episode do you want to listen to or you're
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Speaker 2: not in the right mindset for it, that is so fine.
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Speaker 2: We literally have hundreds of other episodes you can go
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Speaker 2: and listen to right now, So go and do that.
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Speaker 2: But if you're sticking with us to listen to this
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Speaker 2: money Diary, welcome and Money Diarist. Let's jump straight in,
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Speaker 2: my friend.
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Speaker 4: Sounds good? All right.
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Speaker 2: Let's start with the very first question, which as always
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Speaker 2: is my friend, what grade would you give your money
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Speaker 2: habits if I asked you to give them a grade
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Speaker 2: from A through F.
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Speaker 4: I think probably a C plus a C plus.
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Speaker 2: All right, well, I think that frames the conversation. Now
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Speaker 2: my favorite question, let's dive in money diarists. I want
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Speaker 2: to know, can you tell us a little bit more
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Speaker 2: about your money story.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, of course. So I grew up with two brothers
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Speaker 4: and my dad was unfortunately an alcoholic. It also had
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Speaker 4: a gambling addiction, so we didn't grow up with a
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Speaker 4: lot of money because he unfortunately, we'd spend most of
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Speaker 4: it after he got his paychecks. But my mum did
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Speaker 4: her best to keep the family running. And then when
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Speaker 4: I was about eight, mum left because of the domestic violence,
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Speaker 4: and yeah, things got a little bit worse from there
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Speaker 4: for a little bit. Obviously, having my mum care for
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Speaker 4: us most of the time on a single parents wage
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Speaker 4: was really difficult, and there was also a long court
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Speaker 4: process the divorce and splitting up the assets of the house,
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Speaker 4: which was a bit messy.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, it would have been so stressful and
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Speaker 2: it ate you kind of only know a little bit
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Speaker 2: about what's going on. That's it, not the whole story,
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Speaker 2: so it feels a little bit ambiguous, and absolutely was
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Speaker 2: it stressful as an eight year old to go through that.
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Speaker 4: It was very stressful. I think also seeing your parents
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Speaker 4: so stressed is hard. But at the time my dad
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Speaker 4: also was very keen on having my brothers and I
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Speaker 4: know everything that was going on, So there was a
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Speaker 4: bit of emotional, you know, reading the court affidavits to
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Speaker 4: us saying how bad our mum was, all that kind
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Speaker 4: of stuff. So obviously, now from a bit more of
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Speaker 4: a tuma lens, I can see that's not appropriate. But
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Speaker 4: when you're young, you just want.
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Speaker 2: You just don't know what you don't know. When you're young,
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Speaker 2: that's it. You just think, oh, Dad's trying to share
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Speaker 2: with us what's going on. Like to me, that would
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Speaker 2: you know as an eight year old makes sense exactly,
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Speaker 2: But there are some things that you're not emotionally ready for,
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Speaker 2: and that happens to be one of them, exactly.
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Speaker 4: And then when I was eleven years old, my dad
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Speaker 4: moved into state and left us in my mum's care
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Speaker 4: full time. And that was a bit of surprise because
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Speaker 4: we didn't know it was coming. He sort of just
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Speaker 4: dropped us off one day and then we were living
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Speaker 4: with mum. And then from there, when I was a teenager,
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Speaker 4: I developed some disordered eating mental health struggles. My mum
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Speaker 4: has been so supportive the whole time, but yeah, definitely
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Speaker 4: a bit of a roller coaster, and got my first
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Speaker 4: job at McDonald's when I was fifteen, working for eight
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Speaker 4: dollars an hour, so.
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Speaker 2: Eight dollars that you were probably like, this is the
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Speaker 2: best money I've ever earned in my whole life.
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Speaker 4: Absolutely, And I think that was the first time because
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Speaker 4: we did struggle with money so much when I was younger,
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Speaker 4: I really felt like I have some control here, you know,
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Speaker 4: I'm making my own money, and that was a great feeling.
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Speaker 4: And then when I was in high school at seventeen,
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Speaker 4: my mom did go bankrupt because she had taken on
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Speaker 4: a lot of debt to look after my brothers and
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Speaker 4: I by herself. That had been really hard on her.
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Speaker 4: And she also had another partner at that time who
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Speaker 4: was unfortunately abusive as well and very dependent on her.
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Speaker 4: So she left him but was left with a lot
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Speaker 4: of debt and so went bankrupt after that, and then
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Speaker 4: things were rough for a while. But yeah, they're looking
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Speaker 4: up now.
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Speaker 2: Wow, I feel like that is a rollercoaster. I really
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Speaker 2: want to go and just like, grab your mum and
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Speaker 2: hug her. Yeah, she's super supportive, but from the sounds
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Speaker 2: of it, she backs you to the end of the earth,
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Speaker 2: but maybe doesn't look after herself in the same way.
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Speaker 2: That you get looked after and you just want to
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Speaker 2: go mum, like, look after yourself too.
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Speaker 4: Come on, absolutely, yeah.
5:44
Speaker 2: Oh can I jump back to the disordered eating, Yes,
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Speaker 2: of course I want to talk about that. That's something
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Speaker 2: that I have experienced before, and I guess that's why,
5:53
Speaker 2: you know, opening the conversation up around this is really
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Speaker 2: really important to me. I want to know a bit
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Speaker 2: more about I guess where that came from, because often
6:02
Speaker 2: it's not about being thin, it's not about you know,
6:06
Speaker 2: becoming a model like a lot of people think, where
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Speaker 2: do you think that stemmed from? Was that maybe a
6:12
Speaker 2: control issue? I say that only because you said earlier
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Speaker 2: I got my first job at McDonald's and I felt
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Speaker 2: more in control. Yeah, talk to me about that situation.
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Speaker 3: Sure.
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Speaker 4: So I think I was conscious of my way from
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Speaker 4: very early on, and it was actually something that my
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Speaker 4: dad criticized a lot.
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Speaker 2: He was very canceled. One out of ten that is
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Speaker 2: not appropriate dad behavior.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, but yeah, he was very fixated on
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Speaker 4: my appearance, you know, my mum's parents, my brother's appearance,
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Speaker 4: and it was always a reflection of him in his eyes.
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Speaker 4: So I think probably from early on, I was quite
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Speaker 4: self conscious of myself and wanted to change a lot
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Speaker 4: about my body. I think probably the earliest age I
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Speaker 4: remember feeling unhappy about this something about my body was
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Speaker 4: probably about four.
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Speaker 2: Oh, my heart, you shouldn't care about your body. At four,
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Speaker 2: you be caring about sand castles and chasing people and
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Speaker 2: whether you can have ice cream up to dinner or not.
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Speaker 4: Absolutely, And I can see all that now, but yes,
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Speaker 4: I think that's probably where it first came from. Is
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Speaker 4: that wanting to be what he thought was enough. And
7:16
Speaker 4: that started with, you know, lots of calory, restriction over exercising,
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Speaker 4: and I think probably the fact that my parents were
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Speaker 4: going through a divorce and then Dad moved into state.
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Speaker 4: There was that more sense of trying to please everybody,
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Speaker 4: and that was the thing I could control, Especially before
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Speaker 4: I got the job, I didn't really have any other
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Speaker 4: control or other than I did really well at school
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Speaker 4: because I think that was how I could prove that
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Speaker 4: I was trying really hard. And I'm a bit of
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Speaker 4: a perfectionist.
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Speaker 2: Same girlfriend, cut paste. I mean, I didn't go through
7:42
Speaker 2: the same traumatic circumstances as you. But it's funny because
7:46
Speaker 2: having gone through disordered eating, I feel like when I
7:48
Speaker 2: speak to other people who have had similar experiences. I'm like,
7:52
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, what about this? What about that? And
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Speaker 2: you kind of go, yeah, the job probably really helped
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Speaker 2: because it gave that sense of control that you didn't
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Speaker 2: feel like you had earlier. Do you feel like that
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Speaker 2: helped you on your recovery journey?
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Speaker 4: Yes or no? I think for a while there I
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Speaker 4: did feel like I had more control, and like as
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Speaker 4: a teenager in high school, when I felt like I
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Speaker 4: had more of an identity as someone who did well
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Speaker 4: at school, had a good group of friends, had a
8:15
Speaker 4: nice boyfriend at the time, and things were going well.
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Speaker 4: And then in year twelve, I think might sorted eating
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Speaker 4: really hit its peak. I'd broken up with my boyfriend,
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Speaker 4: and I also put a lot of pressure on myself
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Speaker 4: to get like the most perfect score so I could
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Speaker 4: get into the best courses at UNI. I wanted to
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Speaker 4: study law originally, so the agel was quite high.
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Speaker 2: So much unnecessary pressure, Like the idea that at sixteen
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Speaker 2: seventeen you're meant to decide what you want to do
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Speaker 2: for the rest of your life when your brain is
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Speaker 2: not even fully developed. You aren't even making good decisions
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Speaker 2: at that point. Why do you think i'd make a
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Speaker 2: good decision about my career, Like, why are you putting
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Speaker 2: this pressure on me? I can't even be trusted to
8:56
Speaker 2: go out on my own at this point.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly exactly, And looking back now, I'm like, oh, obviously,
9:01
Speaker 4: as I said, well you said at the beginning, took
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Speaker 4: nine years for me to get through UNI anyway, So
9:05
Speaker 4: now I could just laugh and be like, oh, I
9:07
Speaker 4: had no idea of but yeah, I was putting a
9:09
Speaker 4: lot of pressure on myself to be perfect in every
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Speaker 4: way that I thought I needed to be, and I think, yeah,
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Speaker 4: eating and trying to control my image was definitely one
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Speaker 4: part of that.
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Speaker 2: Do you think that that's part of your narrative today,
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Speaker 2: Like is that something that you still struggle with or
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Speaker 2: is it something that you have moved beyond, Like what
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Speaker 2: does that look like today?
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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I've had a lot of therapy from
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Speaker 4: about age twenty two until now, so five good years,
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Speaker 4: and I think my relationship with food has improved a lot,
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Speaker 4: and also with my body. I think when I was
9:39
Speaker 4: like in the thick of it, it was something that
9:41
Speaker 4: I worried about all the time constantly, Whereas I've gotten
9:45
Speaker 4: to a place now where it might be like a
9:46
Speaker 4: little thought that pops up every once in a while,
9:48
Speaker 4: but it's not something that I feel like controls me.
9:52
Speaker 4: Which now I'm looking back, iack and see I didn't
9:54
Speaker 4: have control. It was actually controlling me. The thoughts were
9:56
Speaker 4: controlling me. And now when they come up, I can
9:58
Speaker 4: be like, nope, we're not doing that. Push it aside.
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Speaker 2: Ah. I love that you're able to say no, it's
10:03
Speaker 2: not controlling me. I think when you go through circumstances
10:07
Speaker 2: like this, especially disordered eating, it's something that you learn.
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Speaker 2: And I'm so glad you've had therapy because it's not
10:13
Speaker 2: something you can teach yourself, like you actually just need
10:16
Speaker 2: someone to come in and be like, Okay, here are
10:18
Speaker 2: the strategies that you need to implement. This is what
10:20
Speaker 2: we need to do to put you in the best
10:21
Speaker 2: possible position. But it never leaves fully. I don't believe
10:25
Speaker 2: as somebody who goes through that, but you actually get
10:28
Speaker 2: all these strategies, so when it pops up, you can
10:30
Speaker 2: go no, no, no, we're going to quosh that, like,
10:32
Speaker 2: that's not how we think, Victoria, that's not what we're
10:35
Speaker 2: doing today. And I think that that can be really helpful.
10:38
Speaker 2: But I also think talking about that side of it
10:41
Speaker 2: is really important because I would hate for people to
10:43
Speaker 2: think that, like quote, therapy cures you and you'll be
10:46
Speaker 2: completely over it. No, it's something that mentally is always
10:49
Speaker 2: going to be there, but we can kind of use
10:52
Speaker 2: to our advantage with the right tools and the right resources.
10:56
Speaker 2: And I think that that's Yeah. I'm so glad you're
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Speaker 2: in that position. And you look happy and healthy right now.
11:01
Speaker 2: You look glowy and smiley, and it just I think
11:04
Speaker 2: that you are absolutely thriving. So that is my favorite
11:08
Speaker 2: thing ever. Before I move on to the next question,
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Speaker 2: I just wanted to plug the Butterfly Foundation here. If
11:13
Speaker 2: this is something that you are struggling with. The Butterfly
11:16
Speaker 2: Foundation is one of my favorite resources for disordered eating.
11:19
Speaker 2: You can check them out online. They're on Instagram, They're
11:21
Speaker 2: basically everywhere. They've also got a really beautiful hotline if
11:24
Speaker 2: you want to call them. I'll put all of the
11:25
Speaker 2: links in the show notes if you need them, but
11:28
Speaker 2: please reach out to them. I did when I was younger,
11:30
Speaker 2: and they are the kindest, honestly, the nicest people in
11:34
Speaker 2: the entire world. And I feel like when reaching out
11:37
Speaker 2: for help and money direst I'm not sure if you
11:39
Speaker 2: felt the same way. You just like put it off,
11:41
Speaker 2: put it off, put it off, and then when you do,
11:42
Speaker 2: you're like, why didn't I do this soon? Nice as
11:45
Speaker 2: scary as you think it's going to be.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think definitely waiting til that crisis point.
11:49
Speaker 2: Don't do that. Yeah, don't do that idea.
11:52
Speaker 4: Yeah, get help as soon as you think you're right,
11:55
Speaker 4: need it, Definitely reach out. It's worth it, You're worth it.
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Speaker 2: So absolutely all right, money, Dirice, I want to know
12:01
Speaker 2: more about you today. Tell me you said in your
12:04
Speaker 2: letter into me that you're finally earning a full time salary.
12:07
Speaker 2: What do you do for work? How much money do
12:09
Speaker 2: you earn?
12:10
Speaker 1: Yeah?
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Speaker 4: So I'm a social worker in a child protection state
12:13
Speaker 4: based child protection agency and I earned seventy two tho
12:17
Speaker 4: and ninety one dollars a year.
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Speaker 2: You earn seventy two that's good for like first year
12:22
Speaker 2: out of UNI.
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Speaker 4: It is and much more than I've ever dreamed of making,
12:26
Speaker 4: or ever dreamed of making when I was younger. So yeah,
12:29
Speaker 4: I feel a bit strange about it, to be honest.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, So tell me about these nine years
12:34
Speaker 2: at UNI. So what degree is did you do like
12:37
Speaker 2: did you do them part time? Full time? And kind
12:39
Speaker 2: of what led you to child protection?
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Speaker 4: So I started off at UNI when I was seventeen.
12:45
Speaker 2: So a little baby, that's a little baby.
12:47
Speaker 4: My mum had to sign the permission slips so I
12:50
Speaker 4: could use computers at the university, which is quite funny
12:52
Speaker 4: because I was taking on a lot of debt that
12:54
Speaker 4: was old enough to sign those poms.
12:55
Speaker 2: But like, so you'll let me go into debt, but
12:57
Speaker 2: you won't let me google it?
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Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. And I started off doing a double degree
13:02
Speaker 4: in international relations and arts, and I had kind of
13:06
Speaker 4: dreams of being, you know, some kind of diplomat or
13:08
Speaker 4: maybe going to law later, but I wasn't too sure.
13:11
Speaker 4: But at the time I was also struggling with my
13:13
Speaker 4: mental health and had quite a lot of anxiety and
13:16
Speaker 4: would later be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression,
13:18
Speaker 4: but at that time I didn't know. I just thought,
13:20
Speaker 4: why am I coping? So I ended up dropping the
13:23
Speaker 4: international degree and going just for arts, but.
13:28
Speaker 3: Unfortunately I did fail quite a lot of topics. Because
13:30
Speaker 3: I felt too anxious to go to class, I used
13:32
Speaker 3: to try and go to the tute and then I
13:34
Speaker 3: would just walk straight past the door and go sit
13:36
Speaker 3: in the toilet and hide in the toilet stall for
13:41
Speaker 3: quite a while, just because I was so anxious. And
13:43
Speaker 3: I think this probably went on for quite a while
13:46
Speaker 3: before I reached out for help with my GP.
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Speaker 4: So after that there was a bit of a learning curve,
13:52
Speaker 4: trying new SSRIs or antidepressant medications and new approaches with
13:58
Speaker 4: you know, trying to work with my anxiety. I could
14:00
Speaker 4: attend UNI, but it was kind of an uphill at all.
14:04
Speaker 4: It was about three years where I was doing okay
14:06
Speaker 4: and then not doing okay at UNI. So I didn't
14:09
Speaker 4: end up finishing my arts degree until twenty twenty.
14:12
Speaker 2: Actually, congratul how exciting you did it.
14:16
Speaker 4: Thank you. Yeah, I wish i'd been a bit kinder
14:18
Speaker 4: to myself at the time and just done part time
14:21
Speaker 4: UNI and maybe gotten the help I needed a bit earlier.
14:24
Speaker 4: So that's okay. You know, reflection is much easier and
14:28
Speaker 4: we learn exactly.
14:29
Speaker 2: Hopefully somebody else is listening to this thing gets to
14:32
Speaker 2: learn from your story so that we don't repeat it exactly.
14:36
Speaker 4: So that was seven years for that undergrad which is
14:38
Speaker 4: usually three.
14:40
Speaker 2: That's okay.
14:40
Speaker 4: It is okay, and I did take off a couple
14:42
Speaker 4: of two six month breaks in there as well, and
14:46
Speaker 4: I was really struggling. And then in twenty twenty one,
14:51
Speaker 4: after the whole COVID.
14:53
Speaker 2: Thing, Yeah, that thing happened, Yeah, that little thing that ways,
14:56
Speaker 2: get this, the first lockdown happened three years.
15:00
Speaker 4: I know, it's crazy to think about.
15:02
Speaker 2: It triggers me. It triggers me so bad. It reminds
15:05
Speaker 2: me of how I carried my computer screen home and
15:08
Speaker 2: thought it was just going to be two weeks. Yeah,
15:10
Speaker 2: and then like a month later, it's like two pm
15:13
Speaker 2: in the afternoon and I'd ask my partner, do you
15:16
Speaker 2: want a wine? And that was normal.
15:17
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it feels like a long time ago,
15:21
Speaker 4: but also yesterday, and so I was thinking about what
15:24
Speaker 4: I wanted to do next. I didn't know if I
15:26
Speaker 4: wanted to do, honest, because I was quite interested in
15:29
Speaker 4: looking at like women's portrayals or portrayals of women's madness
15:33
Speaker 4: in literature and how that plays into society's views of women.
15:37
Speaker 2: That would have been so cool. Did you do that?
15:39
Speaker 4: I didn't. I studied social work in Stace.
15:41
Speaker 2: That's okay, that's okay, It's an interesting topic. Done the less.
15:44
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think given my experiences growing up and
15:48
Speaker 4: witnessing my dad be very cruel to my mother, and
15:52
Speaker 4: he used to say, you're mad. You know. There wasn't
15:54
Speaker 4: really a lot of awareness of mental health from his part.
15:56
Speaker 4: It was just you're crazy if you're struggling. So I
15:59
Speaker 4: think that's definitely fueled my interests in that and also
16:03
Speaker 4: maybe my reluctance to get help until I was a
16:05
Speaker 4: little bit older. Yeah, So instead, I had that time
16:09
Speaker 4: after I finished my degree to consider what I wanted
16:11
Speaker 4: to do, and I thought, I kind of want to
16:13
Speaker 4: do something that can help. There was a lot of
16:15
Speaker 4: articles flying around at the time about you know, increased
16:18
Speaker 4: domestic violence and you know, homelessness, and I think COVID
16:23
Speaker 4: really just highlighted all the problems or the systems that
16:27
Speaker 4: were failing already, And so I thought, what can I do?
16:31
Speaker 4: And social work was the solution I came up with.
16:34
Speaker 4: So I did a two masters and then yeah, I
16:39
Speaker 4: went into child protection because I thought that was an
16:41
Speaker 4: area that I could maybe make a difference in.
16:44
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, my whole heart. Knowing your background and
16:47
Speaker 2: where you've come from, and that arguably you were a
16:51
Speaker 2: child at some point that needed protecting. Ah, Like, do
16:55
Speaker 2: you feel like this is your way of kind of
16:57
Speaker 2: like protecting kids that might have been in similar so
17:00
Speaker 2: ccumstances to you? Like, this is heavy?
17:03
Speaker 4: I think so. I think I don't know if I
17:07
Speaker 4: would have even considered this work as an option if
17:10
Speaker 4: I hadn't maybe done some reflecting on my own experiences
17:13
Speaker 4: as a child and noticed or recognized with help that
17:18
Speaker 4: there was abuse there, and yeah, wanting to help other
17:21
Speaker 4: kids obviously it's quite different in child protection, but knowing
17:25
Speaker 4: that maybe I could help protect them and ensure that
17:29
Speaker 4: they're safe, and also work with families to make sure
17:32
Speaker 4: they have the right resources to keep their children safe
17:34
Speaker 4: as well. Sometimes I feel like would be really rewarding,
17:37
Speaker 4: or is really rewarding.
17:38
Speaker 2: So tell me more about this role, because I feel
17:41
Speaker 2: like we often gloss over rolls when we say children's
17:45
Speaker 2: protective services. That could be a lot of things, right,
17:49
Speaker 2: There are lots of different categories of how people in
17:51
Speaker 2: these roles work. But can you tell me a little
17:53
Speaker 2: bit about what your day to day job looks like.
17:56
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I've only been in it for about four
17:59
Speaker 4: months now, and I've actually had two different roles in
18:01
Speaker 4: that time. So the one I'm in at the moment
18:04
Speaker 4: is an assessment based role. So that involves when notifications
18:09
Speaker 4: are screened in and theirconcerns raised about maybe the safety
18:14
Speaker 4: of a child, we will go out and speak with
18:17
Speaker 4: the parents or whoever maybe involve speak with the children,
18:20
Speaker 4: and then may or may not open an investigation from there,
18:24
Speaker 4: and yeah, then the whole investigation process will start and
18:27
Speaker 4: supports and support partners endos may become involved. Or if
18:32
Speaker 4: at the end of the investigation it's deemed that the
18:35
Speaker 4: child is not safe where they are and whoever their
18:37
Speaker 4: caregivers are cannot provide that safety for them, there may
18:40
Speaker 4: be a removal.
18:41
Speaker 2: Oh my whole heart. That is so heavy to do
18:44
Speaker 2: on a day to day basis. How are you looking
18:46
Speaker 2: after you through these things?
18:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's something that's evolved my self care routine.
18:52
Speaker 4: At first, I had this whole list of you know,
18:54
Speaker 4: like I will come home and do meditation, or I
18:56
Speaker 4: will make sure that I'm doing yoga three times a week,
19:00
Speaker 4: and those things are all really good. But I think
19:02
Speaker 4: the best thing I've done for myself is form really
19:05
Speaker 4: great relationships with my colleagues, making sure I'm still attending
19:09
Speaker 4: therapy for myself.
19:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent.
19:12
Speaker 4: And when I get home sometimes I just need to
19:14
Speaker 4: go into the back lawn and just lie on it
19:15
Speaker 4: and just look at.
19:16
Speaker 2: The sky for a little bit bit grounded.
19:18
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's why my big things, kick off my shoes
19:21
Speaker 4: and just go lie on the grass and be like
19:22
Speaker 4: it's okay. I'm still a person. I'm here like the
19:26
Speaker 4: world's bad, but not everything's bad, you know.
19:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh my gosh. I don't know if I could
19:30
Speaker 2: do a role like that, I feel like it would
19:33
Speaker 2: break me. I feel like it takes such a special
19:36
Speaker 2: person to be able to do it. And we need you,
19:38
Speaker 2: like we need people like you who are looking after kids,
19:41
Speaker 2: and I wish I was as special as that. Like
19:44
Speaker 2: I just feel like the emotional energy that you give
19:46
Speaker 2: to your job, I often feel so grateful that I
19:48
Speaker 2: can go home, Like I'm not a brain surgeon. I'm
19:51
Speaker 2: not you know, doing things that are you know, ultimately
19:54
Speaker 2: impacting people in ways that are kind of life or death,
19:57
Speaker 2: but your circumstances are right. Like if you make an assessment,
20:01
Speaker 2: and I don't mean to be too dramatic or make
20:03
Speaker 2: it sound awful for you, but like if you make
20:04
Speaker 2: it the wrong assessment that could be catastrophic for a kid, right,
20:08
Speaker 2: or if you leave a circumstance that you have been
20:10
Speaker 2: evaluating and you just like, I want to scoop them
20:12
Speaker 2: up and take them home because I don't feel like
20:15
Speaker 2: they're safe and we are going to open an investigation,
20:17
Speaker 2: but you know, in that moment you have to leave
20:19
Speaker 2: them there, right. I just feel like that's heavy, and
20:22
Speaker 2: I feel like, I'm just so grateful that people like
20:24
Speaker 2: you exist. You are so special and I'm so just
20:27
Speaker 2: I was so happy to know you.
20:29
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's not something I entered into lightly,
20:32
Speaker 4: and it's that I'm actually quite new at the investigation
20:35
Speaker 4: and assessments role. For a couple of months previously, and
20:38
Speaker 4: where I actually did my social work placement was working
20:40
Speaker 4: with children who were already in long term care, so
20:42
Speaker 4: we children in posticcare and that's quite different on the
20:46
Speaker 4: day to day. And I wasn't sure about child protection
20:49
Speaker 4: at first anyway, because obviously in Australia we have the
20:52
Speaker 4: stolen generations and I didn't want to be part of
20:56
Speaker 4: a system that you know, Abridge and Torresha Island children
21:00
Speaker 4: are still removed at a much higher rate than non
21:03
Speaker 4: Indigenous children, and you know, with the stolen generations. I
21:06
Speaker 4: just wasn't sure that that was a system I wanted
21:08
Speaker 4: to be a part of. But I did get my
21:12
Speaker 4: final year placement at the department, and it was through
21:15
Speaker 4: working there and seeing all the good work they do
21:18
Speaker 4: and working with Aboriginal colleagues and non Aboriginal colleagues, I thought, Okay,
21:22
Speaker 4: this is something I think I can do. I feel
21:24
Speaker 4: okay about.
21:25
Speaker 2: I feel like we need people like you in those
21:28
Speaker 2: roles because things like that happened. We need people like
21:31
Speaker 2: you are so aware of those things. I think it's
21:34
Speaker 2: so close minded and shallow when people don't do things.
21:38
Speaker 2: Or I heard someone the other day they're like, yeah,
21:39
Speaker 2: I just don't see color. I'm just like, I can't
21:42
Speaker 2: conceptualize how you think that's helping anybody like I cannot
21:47
Speaker 2: understand because, to be honest, by seeing it, by going
21:51
Speaker 2: your indigenous, you actually need and deserve more support in
21:55
Speaker 2: this system than somebody who is white going through it, right,
21:59
Speaker 2: because there are more barriers to entry, there are more
22:02
Speaker 2: barriers to going through these things. There is unfortunately not
22:05
Speaker 2: as much education. I feel like being able to say yes,
22:09
Speaker 2: I understand it, and I can acknowledge that, and I
22:11
Speaker 2: know that this was wrong, but I can go above
22:13
Speaker 2: and beyond in those circumstances to make sure that the
22:16
Speaker 2: people who need the most protection get it. That's what
22:19
Speaker 2: we need to be doing, not going, oh my gosh,
22:21
Speaker 2: let's just treat absolutely everybody equally. It's identical the process,
22:25
Speaker 2: it's exactly the same. I genuinely believe that the process
22:29
Speaker 2: needs to be stepped up because you're right, Aboriginal and
22:31
Speaker 2: torrost right Islander kids are being taken at higher rates
22:34
Speaker 2: because they aren't as safe. How do we fix that.
22:37
Speaker 2: We can't just sweep it under the rug and be
22:38
Speaker 2: like everybody needs to be treated the same, right. It
22:41
Speaker 2: blows my mind.
22:43
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think there is, you know, colonization. I
22:46
Speaker 4: think we're taught in school, if we're taught at all,
22:49
Speaker 4: as something that happened in the past, but it's really
22:51
Speaker 4: the effects are still ongoing. The stolen generations are not
22:54
Speaker 4: that long ago at all, so it can't be blind
22:58
Speaker 4: to it as non Indigenous people. And you know, I
23:02
Speaker 4: think that's really irresponsible and harmful.
23:05
Speaker 2: So I couldn't agree more. All right, let's move back
23:08
Speaker 2: onto money topics, because I could have actually rant about
23:11
Speaker 2: this all day, and I'm sure you could as well,
23:14
Speaker 2: but I want to know. Let's go back to you personally.
23:16
Speaker 2: What are your big money goals? What are we working towards?
23:19
Speaker 2: My friend set the moment.
23:20
Speaker 4: My biggest goal is just building up my emergency fund.
23:23
Speaker 4: So it got depleted while I was on placements. So
23:26
Speaker 4: you have two four month placements where you're basically at
23:29
Speaker 4: the placement site full time but not earning any money,
23:32
Speaker 4: So just wanting to build that up again. That's my
23:35
Speaker 4: biggest money goal. And also I'm planning a trip to
23:37
Speaker 4: Japan and South Korea next year.
23:39
Speaker 2: So oh so fun. Can you tell me more about
23:43
Speaker 2: this emergency fund? Yes, how have you calculated how much
23:46
Speaker 2: you want in it?
23:46
Speaker 1: Like?
23:47
Speaker 2: Is it a month's worth of expenses? Three months worth
23:49
Speaker 2: of expense? Like, what's going to make you feel most comfortable?
23:52
Speaker 4: It is three months worth of expenses, and then I
23:54
Speaker 4: put two thousand dollars on top because that just made
23:57
Speaker 4: me feel better.
23:59
Speaker 2: Hey, I like, yeah, I really like that. All Right,
24:02
Speaker 2: I'm going to go to a really quick break because
24:03
Speaker 2: this has become very quickly a very long episode. We
24:06
Speaker 2: need a hot break, and after the break, we're going
24:08
Speaker 2: to talk about debt, investment, best and worst money habits.
24:10
Speaker 2: Guys don't go anywhere money Diarist. We are back, and
24:18
Speaker 2: I feel like you are such a special human and
24:20
Speaker 2: I am feeling so beyond grateful to be able to
24:22
Speaker 2: share you with our community. I want to know, though,
24:25
Speaker 2: let's dive straight in. Do you invest? If so, what
24:28
Speaker 2: do you invest in? If not? Is there a plan?
24:32
Speaker 4: I do invest just a little, so I have about
24:35
Speaker 4: one thousand dollars in spaceship.
24:37
Speaker 2: Do you mean a little. A thousand dollars is a
24:39
Speaker 2: lot of money, my friend, And.
24:40
Speaker 4: A lot of that was from when I was a student.
24:42
Speaker 4: I was actually only putting in about five dollars a month,
24:46
Speaker 4: and it was more like an investment in my financial education.
24:49
Speaker 4: But it's grown over time.
24:50
Speaker 2: I love that. That's such as sheeesel on the money phrase,
24:52
Speaker 2: you're obviously an og.
24:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, og, yeah definitely. And then I have super as well.
24:58
Speaker 2: How good. I feel like that's actually the perfect example
25:03
Speaker 2: of why investing small amounts just makes sense. Like you're
25:07
Speaker 2: now able to say, yeah, I've got a grand invested.
25:09
Speaker 2: Most of us who are working our very first job
25:12
Speaker 2: out of university don't have a thousand dollars in an
25:15
Speaker 2: investment portfolio. But you do, and it's from all of
25:18
Speaker 2: those tiny amounts that you were saving during university. Yeah, Like,
25:21
Speaker 2: is that not? That's elite? Like that is such a
25:24
Speaker 2: stepping stone that you probably didn't even realize you needed,
25:28
Speaker 2: like to already be an investor, that is outside of superannuation.
25:32
Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with that. We did an entire episode recently
25:35
Speaker 2: actually on investing small amounts and whether it's worth it,
25:38
Speaker 2: ruining the episode here. Yes, of course it is worth it.
25:41
Speaker 2: I will always recommend investing, even if it is small amounts,
25:45
Speaker 2: because now you've got a grand that you didn't have before.
25:48
Speaker 2: That's worth it, right, Yeah?
25:50
Speaker 4: And I think also, you know, the market has been
25:52
Speaker 4: quite brutal the last couple of years. You gave me
25:54
Speaker 4: that confidence of seeing the market go up and down
25:56
Speaker 4: and knowing it's okay. I can ride this like and
25:58
Speaker 4: have more confidence not to be can withdraw any money
26:01
Speaker 4: in the future, I think?
26:02
Speaker 2: Yes, Love, All right, talk to me about debt. Do
26:05
Speaker 2: you have any If so, what is it?
26:07
Speaker 4: I have a lot of hextep Yes.
26:10
Speaker 2: Nine years at university will do that. I'm so sorry
26:12
Speaker 2: to spoil that that will so.
26:14
Speaker 4: I have seventy four thousand, three hundred and fifty dollars
26:16
Speaker 4: in HEX add ten one hundred and seventy one dollars
26:19
Speaker 4: and fifty five cents in startup loans, which if you're
26:22
Speaker 4: getting any kind of centering payment while you're at university,
26:25
Speaker 4: you can also opt in for a startup loan of
26:28
Speaker 4: one thousand dollars at the start of a semester and
26:31
Speaker 4: that can go towards costs for you know, university items
26:35
Speaker 4: or education.
26:35
Speaker 2: Items, textbooks, everything. I feel like that's a really helpful
26:39
Speaker 2: loan scheme as well, because obviously there's no interest on it,
26:43
Speaker 2: so that makes it very attractive. But also university is
26:47
Speaker 2: so expensive beyond hex, like the textbooks, Like I did psychology,
26:51
Speaker 2: and a lot of the coursework in psychology overlaps with
26:55
Speaker 2: social work. I could not believe that my social work
26:57
Speaker 2: subject course books were like one hundred fifty to two
27:00
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty dollars. To help other people like what what?
27:04
Speaker 2: That's crazy? And you always need the most up to
27:07
Speaker 2: date edition. You can't just go and buy you know,
27:09
Speaker 2: oh there's a secondhand when a well it's not the
27:11
Speaker 2: right edition, is it?
27:12
Speaker 4: That's it?
27:13
Speaker 1: Yeah.
27:13
Speaker 4: I did use some of that money to kind of
27:15
Speaker 4: boost up my income. So when I was really struggling
27:18
Speaker 4: with anxiety and not able to work, that did go
27:22
Speaker 4: towards having making sure I could pay like my phone
27:25
Speaker 4: bill and for petrol for my count two percent.
27:27
Speaker 2: I love that you had access to that. That makes
27:29
Speaker 2: me so happy to know you were supported. Question though,
27:33
Speaker 2: what are you doing about that debt?
27:35
Speaker 1: So?
27:35
Speaker 2: Are you just letting a tick along? Are you planning
27:37
Speaker 2: on making additional repayments?
27:39
Speaker 1: Like?
27:39
Speaker 2: Have you even thought about this?
27:41
Speaker 3: Yeah?
27:41
Speaker 4: So at the moment, I'm just letting it tick along.
27:43
Speaker 4: I did just want to quickly say, if anyone is
27:45
Speaker 4: struggling at UNI and is you know, failing topics because
27:49
Speaker 4: of mental health or first circumstances at home, you can
27:52
Speaker 4: actually reply for remission of some of your topics if
27:55
Speaker 4: you meet the criteria.
27:56
Speaker 2: Yes you can. That's such a oh, thank you for
27:59
Speaker 2: bringing that up so smart.
28:01
Speaker 4: So I wish I knew about that a bit sooner.
28:03
Speaker 4: But that basically means that if you meet the criteria
28:06
Speaker 4: and your apply and it's approved, the debt will actually
28:09
Speaker 4: be removed for you.
28:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, do they just delete it? They say, all money,
28:13
Speaker 2: direst no worries. We totally get it, and the government go,
28:16
Speaker 2: we're going to remove that unit or that course. Like,
28:19
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever seen it happen for an
28:21
Speaker 2: entire degree, no, but if you're on it. I do
28:24
Speaker 2: know someone who had literally four subjects in one semester
28:28
Speaker 2: credited because they were like, look, I went past the
28:30
Speaker 2: census state. And if anyone's at university, you know, the
28:32
Speaker 2: census state's like that cut off date where you can
28:35
Speaker 2: back out without it costing you anything if you go
28:38
Speaker 2: past that though, and you know, let's just say the
28:40
Speaker 2: proverbial hits the fan. It's so nice to know that
28:44
Speaker 2: that's an option.
28:45
Speaker 4: Definitely.
28:45
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm glad we're talking about that. That's so helpful.
28:49
Speaker 2: I feel like that's a really good money tip. Though
28:51
Speaker 2: I wouldn't know what is your best money habit.
28:54
Speaker 4: I think I'm quite resourceful when I don't have a
28:56
Speaker 4: lot of money. Obviously, I'm in a really good position now,
28:58
Speaker 4: but I haven't always been, so I'm quite happy to
29:01
Speaker 4: sell things online. When I was little, my brothers I
29:04
Speaker 4: used to ride around on our bikes and collect cans
29:06
Speaker 4: because of the state I live, and you can recycle
29:08
Speaker 4: them for money. Yes, yeah, and sometimes that would help
29:11
Speaker 4: us get dinner for the night, especially at Dad's house
29:13
Speaker 4: when there was a lot of money, but very resourceful.
29:16
Speaker 4: So I think that's my best habit.
29:18
Speaker 2: Talk to me quickly about your money habits in general.
29:20
Speaker 2: I'm going to dive into your worst one in a
29:22
Speaker 2: hot second. But given you were so good at being
29:25
Speaker 2: resourceful and arguably very frugal, I love this. How have
29:29
Speaker 2: you gone from that style of lifestyle to having a
29:33
Speaker 2: seventy two thousand dollars income, because obviously that's good money.
29:37
Speaker 2: Are you a wizard of budgeting now?
29:38
Speaker 1: Like?
29:38
Speaker 2: What's that look like?
29:39
Speaker 4: I think I'm quite a bit better at budgeting than
29:42
Speaker 4: I used to be.
29:43
Speaker 2: More money does help, doesn't it?
29:45
Speaker 4: It does?
29:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a little bit, Like we can all be
29:47
Speaker 2: good at money, no matter what income, but it feels
29:50
Speaker 2: easier when you have a little bit more to play with.
29:52
Speaker 3: Yeah.
29:53
Speaker 2: Less stress, right.
29:53
Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot less stress. I think that's probably the
29:55
Speaker 4: main thing. I think probably though I was very aware
29:59
Speaker 4: of lifestyle, but at the same time I knew that I,
30:02
Speaker 4: you know, lived quite a restricted like a privileged but
30:06
Speaker 4: restricted life previously because there was a lot of money
30:08
Speaker 4: coming in, so I wanted to make sure I gave
30:10
Speaker 4: myself enough money to do some nice things, but at
30:14
Speaker 4: the same time not spend all of my money. So yeah,
30:17
Speaker 4: I do have quite an elaborate budget coming in. I've
30:20
Speaker 4: actually done love Cheese on the money Master costs.
30:24
Speaker 2: Have you actually have Yeah? Oh my gosh, really did
30:27
Speaker 2: it help?
30:27
Speaker 4: It did a lot. Yeah. So I have a very
30:30
Speaker 4: fancy spreadsheet, which I'm very pleased with.
30:32
Speaker 2: It's really sexy, isn't it is? Yeah, definitely very sexy.
30:35
Speaker 2: I don't mean to be biased. I am completely biased,
30:38
Speaker 2: but this spreadsheet is my favorite thing in the entire world. Yeah,
30:41
Speaker 2: like it does it for you, right, Yeah.
30:43
Speaker 4: It's amazing and that's good because I'm not great at
30:45
Speaker 4: maths in general. So yeah, I think probably my best
30:51
Speaker 4: thing with budgeting is just making sure that I'm on
30:53
Speaker 4: top of it.
30:53
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I love it. Ah so good. I
30:57
Speaker 2: hate to bring down the mood. What's your worst money it?
31:00
Speaker 4: My friend stress spending definitely guilty of avaiable. I think
31:04
Speaker 4: there's actually in one of your early episodes not to
31:06
Speaker 4: be a creeper.
31:07
Speaker 2: No, I love this.
31:09
Speaker 4: You talk about how sometimes when you haven't had a
31:11
Speaker 4: lot of money growing up, there can be that tendency
31:13
Speaker 4: to spend it when you have it. And I've definitely
31:15
Speaker 4: felt myself kind of default that if I'm not on
31:19
Speaker 4: top of my budget, or if I'm not kind of
31:21
Speaker 4: looking after my mental health and being aware of my
31:24
Speaker 4: self care needs, I can just stress spend.
31:26
Speaker 2: You're so tired, aren't they. Yeah, it's crazy. I cannot
31:30
Speaker 2: believe that. I mean, obviously we've been talking about it
31:33
Speaker 2: at She's on the money for the past four or
31:35
Speaker 2: five years, but I just really don't understand why historically
31:39
Speaker 2: we haven't spoken more about the relationship between mental health
31:43
Speaker 2: and spending and just self care and spending and what
31:46
Speaker 2: that looks like and how your mentality and how you're
31:49
Speaker 2: feeling actually impacts the way that you allocate money and
31:53
Speaker 2: spend it. Stress spending is real, Like, it's crazy. I
31:56
Speaker 2: go through it maybe once a month when you're like,
32:00
Speaker 2: it's always a check in for me. It's never a
32:02
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I used to stress spend and now
32:04
Speaker 2: I'm over it. No, No, I default straight back to that.
32:07
Speaker 2: I'm really good at it. That's why I had to
32:08
Speaker 2: create that budget and cash Loow masterclass, because it was
32:11
Speaker 2: for me, like to make sure that I'm on top
32:13
Speaker 2: of my spending so that I can see everything in
32:16
Speaker 2: a really simple, easy way, so that when I do
32:18
Speaker 2: do that, I'm back on the bandwagon really quickly instead
32:22
Speaker 2: of falling off completely.
32:23
Speaker 4: Absolutely, and I'm the same way that is my default
32:26
Speaker 4: when I'm really stressed. I've used that as an opportunity to,
32:28
Speaker 4: as I said, check in with myself and have a
32:30
Speaker 4: bit of self compassion, which is a hard thing to learn,
32:32
Speaker 4: I think if you're naturally quite hard on yourself.
32:35
Speaker 2: Yeah it's crazy, but yeah, being.
32:37
Speaker 4: Like, okay, what's going on for me here? And then
32:39
Speaker 4: you know, taking that as an opportunity to self reflect,
32:41
Speaker 4: to go a bit deeper instead of beating up on
32:44
Speaker 4: yourself because you know you're spending a bit of extra
32:47
Speaker 4: money when you're really stressed. Yeah.
32:49
Speaker 2: No, couldn't agree more. All right, last question, now that
32:52
Speaker 2: we've had a chat, I don't know. I'm not going
32:54
Speaker 2: to tell you how I feel about this. You're going
32:55
Speaker 2: to tell me how you feel about this. You told
32:57
Speaker 2: us at the start of the episode that you think
32:59
Speaker 2: your money habits or c plus, but you're working on
33:03
Speaker 2: your emergency fund goal, You've got an investment, you're really
33:07
Speaker 2: on top of your hex. You just told me all
33:09
Speaker 2: about how you're already using my budgeting cash flow master class.
33:12
Speaker 2: You talked about what you've been through and how you've
33:15
Speaker 2: come out the other side to be a killer human being?
33:18
Speaker 2: My friend, is C plus representative of your situation? Do
33:23
Speaker 2: you think? And if it isn't, what are you? But
33:26
Speaker 2: if it is, what would it take to get a
33:28
Speaker 2: higher grade?
33:30
Speaker 4: I think I'm the C plus this week? This week,
33:33
Speaker 4: this week because I did some stress spending, so I
33:35
Speaker 4: think it varies.
33:36
Speaker 2: Sweet, we don't change out grade based on that, no, no, no, no, okay, no,
33:40
Speaker 2: that's too high school.
33:42
Speaker 4: No okay, okay. Probably in general, maybe a B.
33:46
Speaker 2: Then all right, what would it take to get to
33:48
Speaker 2: an A? My friend?
33:49
Speaker 4: I think maybe more consistent investing. I would like to
33:52
Speaker 4: do that once I've got in my emergency fund to
33:54
Speaker 4: a level I'm happy with, and then I think I'd
33:57
Speaker 4: be pretty happy.
33:57
Speaker 2: I don't even think you have to change anything to
33:59
Speaker 2: get to it, Honestly, Obviously, your goals are really important,
34:03
Speaker 2: and when you achieve that, you're going to feel more
34:05
Speaker 2: like an A. But you have everything in place to
34:08
Speaker 2: be in that position, it's just going to take time.
34:10
Speaker 2: Like how cool is that to think the fact that
34:12
Speaker 2: you are already in that position to be in a
34:15
Speaker 2: The only difference is, Okay, it's just going to take
34:18
Speaker 2: some time because to build up your emergency fund, that's
34:20
Speaker 2: going to take a few months. That'll be fine. Once
34:22
Speaker 2: that's there. What are you gonna do? You're gonna start investing? Like,
34:24
Speaker 2: I'm so excited for you, because I feel like there's
34:27
Speaker 2: nothing to change, there's nothing to update. You just have
34:31
Speaker 2: to keep on keeping on. How good.
34:33
Speaker 4: And I do have to say thank you to you.
34:35
Speaker 4: My financial literacy is all thanks to Sheet's on the Money. Honestly,
34:39
Speaker 4: my journey. My friend sent me an episode back during
34:42
Speaker 4: the first season. It was the one about Hex and yeah,
34:45
Speaker 4: from there, I feel like I've just the world has
34:47
Speaker 4: opened up and I just yeah, so it's really all
34:50
Speaker 4: thanks to you.
34:51
Speaker 2: Ah, that makes me so happy. We need to stop
34:54
Speaker 2: talking about it, though, because I end up crying.
34:56
Speaker 4: Hey sorry, and that's.
34:57
Speaker 2: Not that sexy on a podcast. But I'm so grateful.
35:00
Speaker 2: It makes my heart so full to know that not
35:02
Speaker 2: only have we created content that impacts people, but they
35:05
Speaker 2: like love it too, Like it's just it's so nice. Anyway,
35:09
Speaker 2: thank you so much. It has been a beautiful experience
35:12
Speaker 2: having a chat with you. I feel like I've learned
35:14
Speaker 2: so much about what you do and how you do it,
35:16
Speaker 2: and I feel like we are richer having met you.
35:19
Speaker 2: So thank you so much. I'm so grateful, thank you
35:22
Speaker 2: for having me. The advice shared on She's on the
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