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I Made Nearly $200K in Cash as a Stripper… and Spent Almost All of It · She's On The Money

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  Speaker 1: My name is Natasha Bamblett. I'm a proud First Nations
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  Speaker 1: woman and I'm here to acknowledge country. Hello, beautiful friends.
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  Speaker 1: We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank,
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  Speaker 1: acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering
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  Speaker 1: on today.
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  Speaker 2: Take pleasure in.
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  Speaker 1: All the land and respect all that you see. She's
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  Speaker 1: On The Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community, and connections,
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  Speaker 1: bringing you the tools, knowledge, and resources for you to thrive.
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  Speaker 3: Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast
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  Speaker 3: that lets you be pervy about other people's money stories
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  Speaker 3: for educational purposes.
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  Speaker 2: Of course.
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  Speaker 3: Welcome back to another one of our Money Diaries brought
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  Speaker 3: to you by our friends from Sky Wealth, where I
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  Speaker 3: get the absolute privilege of sitting down with one of
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  Speaker 3: our incredible She's On The Money community members and talking
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  Speaker 3: all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it because
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  Speaker 3: this week I got a message and it sounded exactly
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  Speaker 3: like this. Hi, She's On The Money. I went from
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  Speaker 3: being raised wealthy, but strict, to being a stripper earning
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  Speaker 3: thousands a night, to a mom who depended on her
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  Speaker 3: partner she met at the club, to leaving him and
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  Speaker 3: living on $ 11.
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  Speaker 2: I wish this was an exaggeration. To meeting my now
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  Speaker 2: husband working boring retail.
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  Speaker 3: But depending on a man again, to finding she's on
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  Speaker 3: the money, leaving retail, starting with my husband's company, and
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  Speaker 3: then creating my own business, outsourcing my services to other trades,
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  Speaker 3: using Coursera, just like she's on the money mentioned, and
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  Speaker 3: learnt everything on my mat leave. I overhauled our finances
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  Speaker 3: since January and our super and we just settled on land.
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  Speaker 3: I would love to share my story. Money, Doris, this
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  Speaker 3: is a wild ride.
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  Speaker 2: I'm excited. Yeah, it's a bit of a roller coaster
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  Speaker 2: when you hear it like that.
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  Speaker 3: But like a super fun one, like I already know
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  Speaker 3: just from that, I'm like, I want to be your friend.
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  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
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  Speaker 3: You were really rich, like raised rich. now a stripper,
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  Speaker 3: like now you're a mom, then you weren't a mom.
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  Speaker 3: And then off air, you were like, oh, I have
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  Speaker 3: two kids who are like approaching their teenage years. And
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  Speaker 3: also I just had another baby. Like you are just
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  Speaker 3: so fun and I know it.
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  Speaker 2: Some would say chaotic, but I like fun. Absolutely.
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  Speaker 3: Before we jump in, Money Dress, I need to know
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  Speaker 3: if I asked you to give your money habits a
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  Speaker 3: grade from A through to F, what would you grade them? F.
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  Speaker 2: Think like a B minus or maybe a C. A
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  Speaker 2: B minus, but then like an A plus for fun.
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  Speaker 4: Yes.
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  Speaker 2: A plus for fun and chaos, B minus for money. Love, love.
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  Speaker 2: All right. Can we learn a bit more about your
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  Speaker 2: money story, please? So I started off by being adopted
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  Speaker 2: and I got adopted by my now parents when I
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  Speaker 2: was three months old. I am not from this country.
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  Speaker 2: And so my parents are from here and I didn't
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  Speaker 2: have a concept of that they were wealthy. I just
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  Speaker 2: grew up in a three and a half story home with,
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  Speaker 2: you know, hot rods and beautiful things. And I just
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  Speaker 2: kind of thought, I thought everyone had that. But also like,
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  Speaker 2: why wouldn't you? You were adopted when you were three
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  Speaker 2: months old. You literally know no different. Yeah, it didn't
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  Speaker 2: click to me that that was like wealth or that
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  Speaker 2: they were rich. And I just kind of thought that
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  Speaker 2: everyone lived like this and I think if you were
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  Speaker 2: to ask my parents they would tell you they weren't
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  Speaker 2: rich but they actively were sorry you've got a three-story
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  Speaker 2: house immediate rich in my head did you grow up
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  Speaker 2: with a double door fridge by chance no because my
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  Speaker 2: parents are the type of rich where their wealth was
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  Speaker 2: kind of all very pared back except for the cars
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  Speaker 2: and it was never flaunted like the house was huge
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  Speaker 2: and the holidays were huge and the cars were very
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  Speaker 2: impressive and but there was never like our TV still
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  Speaker 2: has a back to it. Like there was no, there
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  Speaker 2: was no plasmas. And again, hence why I didn't think
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  Speaker 2: anything of it. I was just like, cool, this is
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  Speaker 2: just normal. This is how all people get adopted into families, right?
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  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Like I've never experienced adoption, but if I was, and
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  Speaker 2: if I was going to volunteer for it, like it
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  Speaker 2: would have to be into a rich family. Yeah, and
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  Speaker 2: I think I felt pretty lucky. Like I got to
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  Speaker 2: go on holidays. I got to do Disneyland. I got
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  Speaker 2: to do all of those things and got to go
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  Speaker 2: to a nice school. I did all of the dance programs.
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  Speaker 2: Like I never had to miss out on anything in life,
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  Speaker 2: I don't feel. But money was also never talked about.
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  Speaker 2: So my dad was really strict on never speaking about
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  Speaker 2: how much you earn. You're not meant to talk about
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  Speaker 2: how much money you have. And because of that, I
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  Speaker 2: didn't really learn anything. I was just told, get money,
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  Speaker 2: save it. That was all. And like my work ethic
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  Speaker 2: was also hugely important to my parents. I think I
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  Speaker 2: had a job at like for dad when I was
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  Speaker 2: like 12, he would pay me to go do cast
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  Speaker 2: stuff with him and I'd get $ 5 a day. And
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  Speaker 2: so I always knew I had to work. And then
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  Speaker 2: I started at McDonald's and had to give some of
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  Speaker 2: my paycheck to my parents and And always got charged
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  Speaker 2: like rent, like higher than everyone else. Like if I
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  Speaker 2: wanted a box of barbecue shapes, I had to pay
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  Speaker 2: them $ 2.
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  Speaker 1: 50.
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  Speaker 2: So I actually got charged more. What? Yeah, just because
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  Speaker 2: I think they wanted me to understand that I don't
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  Speaker 2: need these barbecue shapes. So if I want them, there's
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  Speaker 2: a surcharge. Oh, they're like basically the uber bit parents. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: This is convenience.
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  Speaker 3: You could go get it yourself, but you're not going to.
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  Speaker 3: So we are going to do a delivery fee.
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  Speaker 1: 100%.
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  Speaker 2: So I was always just like, oh, they're so strict.
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  Speaker 2: Like if I wanted $ 10 to go to the movies
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  Speaker 2: when it used to cost that much, I had to
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  Speaker 2: do a lot of things for it where I had
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  Speaker 2: friends who would just be like, hey, I want to
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  Speaker 2: go to the movies. And I would watch their parents
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  Speaker 2: just give them cash. And that would never happen in
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  Speaker 2: my household. I always had to earn everything I got.
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  Speaker 2: So again, I think they were trying to teach me
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  Speaker 2: the value of money, but it almost did the opposite
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  Speaker 2: where I just went, no, I need to have my
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  Speaker 2: own money so that they can't have any control over
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  Speaker 2: what I can and can't do kind of thing. It's
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  Speaker 2: interesting how money conversations in households can create I don't
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  Speaker 2: want to use the word resentment because the way you're
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  Speaker 2: talking about your parents, I don't think that's the case
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  Speaker 2: at all. But it kind of, as a teenager who
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  Speaker 2: doesn't necessarily understand everything, they didn't go, hey, cool. So
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  Speaker 2: this is what we're going to be doing with money
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  Speaker 2: with you. Other kids are going to have it really differently.
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  Speaker 2: But the reason we're doing this money diarist is because,
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  Speaker 2: you know, we really want to teach you the value
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  Speaker 2: of the dollar. And you go, oh, okay, well, I
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  Speaker 2: still don't like it, but at least I understand where
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  Speaker 2: this is coming from. Whereas you might've just at that
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  Speaker 2: point in time been like, wow, they're really restrictive and
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  Speaker 2: they don't want me to live a good life. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I honestly sometimes thought it was a bit of a
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  Speaker 2: punishment and like, oh, I don't get to have these
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  Speaker 2: things or I'm not deserving of these like access to money.
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  Speaker 2: And so it did make me really like desperate to
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  Speaker 2: make my own money and And I think they just
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  Speaker 2: saw that as like, great, she has a great work ethic.
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  Speaker 2: Like I always did over time. I would always do
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  Speaker 2: the double shifts at McDonald's. Like any way I could
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  Speaker 2: make more money, I wanted to do so. And I
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  Speaker 2: think they were like, great, she'll save all this money.
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  Speaker 2: They actually always had that policy that whatever you save
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  Speaker 2: for your car, we'll put in. and we'll match it.
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  Speaker 2: And then I never saved anything. Right.
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  Speaker 3: And so this was during school, you worked at Macca's,
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  Speaker 3: then what happens? You're 18 and you finish school or like,
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  Speaker 3: what's the story there?
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  Speaker 2: I actually got expelled because I was very rebellious and
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  Speaker 2: my parents really struggled with that because they were very
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  Speaker 2: like proper, strict, highly religious. I am on the other hand,
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  Speaker 2: the opposite and And so I really fought against everything
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  Speaker 2: that they wanted for me. I was like, no, absolutely not.
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  Speaker 2: And I ended up actually doing one of those jobs
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  Speaker 2: where you have to stand in the middle of a
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  Speaker 2: shopping center and ask people if they want to sign
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  Speaker 2: up to a charity. And they only pay you if
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  Speaker 2: you get signups, but they sell you the dream of like,
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  Speaker 2: you can make $ 20, 000 a month and you'll get all
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  Speaker 2: of this money. But then you still have to drive
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  Speaker 2: everywhere and go into the office every day. You get
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  Speaker 2: to do like the dances in the morning. And it
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  Speaker 2: was such a like, I was like, I'm going to
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  Speaker 2: work in the corporate world. It felt like multi-level marketing.
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  Speaker 2: It is literally like a more corporate version of that.
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  Speaker 2: Like sell a dream, tell you that your commissions are
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  Speaker 2: really uncapped, but then also I'm going to make it
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  Speaker 2: really hard for you to make money because the product
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  Speaker 2: you're selling is not something people want to buy. So
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  Speaker 2: good luck.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And like, obviously you get rejected by so many people. Like,
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  Speaker 2: and now I know that those people are just working
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  Speaker 2: for money, not because I care about the charities. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And so now when I'm in the middle of the shops,
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, no, thank you. I know how much you're
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  Speaker 2: getting paid if I say yes. I'd rather just give
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  Speaker 2: it to the charity directly. Yes, that's crazy work. And
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  Speaker 2: then that lost me money. I actually lost money doing
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  Speaker 2: that job because I was having to drive into the
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  Speaker 2: city every day. And if you didn't sell anything that day,
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  Speaker 2: there was no base wage. It was just commissions. Wow.
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  Speaker 2: I didn't know that that's how it works. Yeah, I
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  Speaker 2: think it was like $ 80 per sign up. So if
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  Speaker 2: you do like six or seven of those in one day, hey, amazing.
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  Speaker 2: But the average was like maybe one. And in my head,
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  Speaker 2: I wasn't computing that $ 80 for one day of work
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  Speaker 2: was horrible. And so instead, I was like, oh, okay,
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  Speaker 2: I just have to find a new job eventually. And
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  Speaker 2: this man approached me and was like, hey, you know,
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  Speaker 2: have you ever thought about working in a club? And
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  Speaker 2: I remember being like, oh, yeah, for sure. What kind
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  Speaker 2: of club? I love going clubbing. Like I was 18.
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  Speaker 2: I was a baby. I probably was three weeks into
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  Speaker 2: being 18. Oh, my God. Wait. So a man, I
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  Speaker 2: have to backtrack, a man approached you on the street
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  Speaker 2: while you were working or like when, where, how? Yes. Well,
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  Speaker 2: I was doing one of those stands and he was like, oh,
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  Speaker 2: has anyone ever told you you're like beautiful? And I
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: was very much raised by traditional parents who my mom
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  Speaker 2: had always like that was her main compliment was like,
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  Speaker 2: you're really beautiful. Don't worry. Like someone will marry you.
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  Speaker 2: You're really beautiful. And that was always really emphasized in
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  Speaker 2: my whole life. So looks became such an important thing
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  Speaker 2: to me that they then eventually became my entire career.
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  Speaker 2: And so when he did, I was kind of just like, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: of course, what do you mean? Like I'm 18. I'm like, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: thank you. And he was like, you could make this
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  Speaker 2: much money. And again, I was working a job that
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  Speaker 2: I was losing money in. Yeah, it sounds like a
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  Speaker 2: great opportunity. And as you said, I love clubs. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: I was like, how bad could this be? And then
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  Speaker 2: I get there and it's a strip club. Like it's
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  Speaker 2: a full blown old school movie. like strip club. And
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, cool. I can dance. My parents paid
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  Speaker 2: me to all of these amazing dance classes. I can
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: still do the splits and I'm a pretty confident bubbly person.
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  Speaker 2: And so I was like, Hell yeah. Why not? On paper,
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  Speaker 2: you are going to thrive there. Absolutely. And they get
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: you to choose your name and all of those ridiculous things.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: And you kind of go, okay. Oh, how do you
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  Speaker 2: choose your name? That's fun. Is it like first street
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  Speaker 2: and first pet name? Because that's how I've always picked
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: my names based on social media posts. It's not nearly
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  Speaker 2: as cool as that. They literally said, what name do
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  Speaker 2: you pick? And I went, oh. um okay and I
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  Speaker 2: chose because I could see behind the bar a bottle
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  Speaker 2: of alcohol and I just chose the name of that
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  Speaker 2: bottle of alcohol and that's what worked for me and
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: so I was like great let's go with that it
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  Speaker 2: kind of suits the way I look and we'll just
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  Speaker 2: hope for the best and you know how bad can
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  Speaker 2: this be and then I went there and then that
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  Speaker 2: first night I made like a lot of money like
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  Speaker 2: I made a I think my first customer gave me
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  Speaker 2: $ 500 just for being like a baby stripper is what
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  Speaker 2: they would call it, which now that I'm an adult goes, ew. Yeah, totally.
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  Speaker 2: But at the time you had no idea. And yeah,
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: so I remember being like, oh my God, I didn't
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  Speaker 2: make this much in this whole time I was at
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  Speaker 2: this other job. And I've just made that in half
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  Speaker 2: an hour with a three minute lap dance. And you're like,
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  Speaker 2: I'm fine to do this.
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  Speaker 3: And I mean, everybody is going to have different like
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: tolerance levels and be like, oh, I never, or I
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  Speaker 3: would or whatever.
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  Speaker 2: But like, who kind of cares what your personal preferences are?
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: I'm finding this so interesting. So you went in and
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: I feel like if somebody blindsided me and said, oh,
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: you're coming to work at a club, then it was
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: a strip club. I'd kind of be taken aback and
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, I don't know. But were you like, yeah, whatever.
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  Speaker 3: I'll take my clothes off. Like I've got no qualms
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: about this. Or were you a bit like, oh, I've
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: got reservations, but I should try it. Like, how did
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  Speaker 3: that work?
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  Speaker 2: I think my personality at that point in my life
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: was just like, excuse my French, but like, that was
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: just how I thought about doing things. And I think
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I was very confident in who I was. And, you know,
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: everyone likes to think when you're 18, you know, everything.
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  Speaker 2: And I'm like, how bad could this industry be? Like
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: I've watched, I mean, I watched Coyote Ugly and I
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: was like, I want to do that. And that's essentially
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: what I thought I was doing was just Coyote Ugly,
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: but like less clothes and, And I was like, I
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: can do this. It's a different kind of performing, I guess.
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  Speaker 2: And I just really fell in love with the money,
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: but I actually fell in love with the job for
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: a portion of time. But I love that.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I think we should all enjoy what we do. And
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  Speaker 3: I'm actually glad that you did. Were you still living
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  Speaker 3: at home at this point?
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  Speaker 2: I did live at home for maybe two weeks of it.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: And then because I'd made so much money, I moved
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: immediately into a share house and And was just like,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: I don't need them for anything. Look at me now.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: I have that freedom I wanted. I can do whatever.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: And I really became like, I don't know, the wolf
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: of Wall Street. I was just like, I'll buy this
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: and I can do this. And I was just going
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: to buy everything I've ever wanted. And all of a
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: sudden I could live by myself. I didn't need anybody.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: And I moved into a share house with the best,
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: funnest people ever who were the opposite of my lifestyle.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: They all worked in IT. And I obviously was a stripper.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: So I got to live. It was very big bang
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  Speaker 2: theory of me. I was the penny and they were
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: all so beautiful and loving, but I was paying $ 600
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: a month for bills, rent and everything. And I was
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: making $ 600 in an hour. Yeah, that's so crazy. So crazy.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Did your parents know? No, they definitely were told that
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: I worked at a bar and I just never discussed it. Again,
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: them being so strict and conservative, I think that we
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: really just had a don't ask, don't tell policy. But
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: in saying that, probably three years in, my mum did
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: make some outfits for me and I think she just
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: must have thought that that's what I was wearing at
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: the bar. They also knew how much money I was
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: bringing in because I had like Louis Vuitton suitcases. And
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: all of a sudden I was, you know, living this
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: quite over the top life. And they didn't question it.
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  Speaker 3: Like I'm telling you right now, if my daughter comes
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  Speaker 3: home with a Louis Vuitton suitcase that I didn't purchase
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: for her, I'm going to be like, girlfriend, what were
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: you doing?
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: I think they really were like... uh, what's that saying?
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: Like just it's best not to know. Turning a blind eye. Yeah.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: They were turning a blind eye and just hoping for
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: the best. I think they'd had such a rollercoaster of
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: teenage me and they're really those kind of parents that
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: just love you no matter what. Oh, that's sweet though.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: But like, do you think they kind of knew, but
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: they were like, whatever, like she seems fine. We're not
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: going to ask about it. I think they kind of
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: knew and it would be easier to go to church
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: every week if they just didn't know. I think that's
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: how it went down. And for them, they were just like, okay,
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: no worries. And it was all great until obviously it
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: wasn't great. It wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: Totally understood. So you live in that life. You said
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: it was great until it wasn't. What does that look like?
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: Because did you meet.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Like, I guess there's a very stereotypical experience when someone
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: becomes a stripper, right? And we've seen it online. It's
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: a slippery slope. And often it filters into, you know,
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: a few more untowards things, which, you know, if it's consensual, like,
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: and it's happening between consenting adults, like it's none of
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: my business. But like, is that your experience? Because I
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: feel like you said, I met my husband at work.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: I think I actually had like a really great experience
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: considering until the end. But like, I do believe that
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: I watched all those movies thinking, okay, every girl's going
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: to be on drugs or they're going to, you know,
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: where that wasn't the truth. I actually met a lot
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: of women who were studying to be nurses. There was
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: one who was going to work in the Navy, but
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: she just needed to be able to pay off her
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: house first. The most successful girl I ever worked with,
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: who is now like a really big lawyer, was just
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: paying for law school and didn't drink at all, you know,
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: drove to work every night and drove home. And I
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: think I lived kind of like both of those lives.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: At that time, I didn't use any drugs, but I
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: did drink a lot. And I think that that was
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: probably what I used as a coping mechanism to deal
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: with the negative side of that industry. But God, does
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: the positive side feed your ego? Like, I think... Like
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: all things, people have their preferences and it's a sexual job,
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: so people have their sexual preferences. And if guys wanted
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: a certain look that wasn't me, I wasn't going to
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: be for them. And sometimes they would be really clear
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: and let you know that. And that takes a toll.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: But then you would have another client who would come in,
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: who would see you every single week, who would pay
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: your rent, pay my bills, have my phone direct debited
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: to him, even though he didn't even know my real
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: name because they care about you or they really like
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: your personality or your looks just alone. And so... that
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: side kind of feeds that ego of like, I'm incredible
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: and I'm making so much money. But, you know, there
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: is obviously that dark side of it can take a
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: really big toll. It's really exhausting. It's not nearly as
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: easy money as I thought it was. It does. require
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: a lot of like one physicality and two like you
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: have to have thick skin because people will come and
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: put a dollar on your stage and you just have
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: to keep going like that hasn't crushed your soul or
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: you know people will tell you to lose weight and
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: as an 18 year old you're so impressionable and I
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: think now like the world is so different I don't
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: think when I could be wrong but I don't think
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: you make as much money in clubs anymore because only
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: fans exist But I think that's also so dangerous in
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: so many ways but so great in other ways because
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: I think if you want to do that, amazing power
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: to you. Like I believe in doing whatever you want
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: with your body. At the end of the day, I
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: wasn't ashamed of what I did for a job but
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: I wish that someone had told me like, hey, this
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: is what you'll be known for. People are going to come.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: People are going to know. And now it's even worse
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: because they don't have to see me in person. They could,
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: you know, just view you online. Yeah, I feel like
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: that's such a good point. And I have a really
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: good girlfriend who works was a stripper and an escort
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: and did that all through uni. I knew that's what
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: she was up to. And she now is so wealthy.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: It's not funny, but she's also a lawyer. And one
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: of the things she says is I would never recommend
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: in 25, 26, somebody to do that anymore because she's like,
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: you cannot find any evidence of what I did. She's like,
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: I am not, not proud of it. I talk about it.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: It's not a secret.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: Like everyone around me knew, but like future employers, they
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: can't find it. Like there's no photos of her. There's
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: no like ongoing trail. She's like, if they find out great,
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: but there's no like photos to circulate in a group text.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: And so I think that that's a really important consideration
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: these days because so many people They go, oh, I'll
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: just do OnlyFans. Like people have been, you know, making
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: money off sex work for so long. And I get it.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: If that's aligned to your values, like more power to you.
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: I've done so many episodes with people who have made
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: millions from OnlyFans and pop off queens. But also if
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: that's not what.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Your long-term goal is, you do have to sit down
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: and think about like, well, how would this potentially impact
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: the life I do want to lead? And what would
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: that look like?
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: And if you're happy taking that risk and you feel
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: happy taking on that load, like great. But for some people,
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: it's not going to work out in that way.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: And I still look at it like I'm the same
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: where I was from that era. I'm a little bit
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: old now, but I was from that era where there
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: is no evidence of what I did. Everything's deleted off
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: the internet. I still have the photos of what I
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: look like just to remember that that's what I once
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: looked like. But apart from that, the only thing that
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: exists from that is my ex and the children that
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: I have. And pop off. You'd love that. Yeah. Like
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: for me, that was the good thing that came out
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: of all of it as toxic as that industry is.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: And there's how, you know, much it can change your life.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: I did also get to meet someone in the club,
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: which was like, I just gave this person a lap
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: dance and they were really young and I was also
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: really young and they kept coming back and I ended
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: up making a lot of money. I accidentally took a
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: lot of their savings and before we dated, which my
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: ex-mother-in-law did not love. But yeah, so then we met
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: and it all happened quite quickly. And he actually let
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: me work in the industry for like at least a
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: year and a half post us meeting. He used to
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: drive me to any of my private functions. I was
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: really quite accepting of everything. When I left the industry,
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: then it was a conversation of us having children eventually.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: And then I got told I have endometriosis. So they
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: were like, if you want to have children, we don't
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: even know if it's possible, but you should probably try sooner.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: And he was like, okay, we're 21. sure how hard
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: can it be oh my goodness you were a baby
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: and i should have done the math so you said
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: before i'm getting old baby you're 32 like and you
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: don't look 32 and i'm sitting here and i'm 35
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: and i'm like what do you mean you're getting old
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: sit down I think for the adult industry, 32 is old. Oh,
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: she's getting on. People are like, oh, would you ever
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: go back to doing that? I'm like, no, no. Even
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: if I look 10 out of 10 in my head,
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: I don't need, no one needs to see that. It's
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: too old now. No, no. And I feel like there's like,
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: you know, you don't want to regress to like a
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: previous life that you had that clearly was not aligned
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: to the values that you currently have. So- you're 21,
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: you decide to have your first kid. How does that go?
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: Like, what does life look like going from, and can
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: we just ask how much on average do you think
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: you were making when you were working as a stripper?
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: Minimum per week would have been three and a half thousand.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: I think I tracked for a good six month portion
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: from 19 to almost 20. And I had made around
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: $ 195, 000 worth of cash. of cash. And I had spent
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: almost that same amount.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: Cause like, let's be honest and this is going to
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: stay anonymous, but like, I'm assuming the ATO didn't know
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: about a lot of that cash. Yeah. A huge amount.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: I did actually claim some because I wanted to claim
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: my makeup and my big giant stilettos and some of
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: those things. So I claimed to portion, but yeah, obviously
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: when you're dealing in that industry, this was before you could,
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: you know, add a tap and pay to your phone.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: So it was an old school ATM that they'd have
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: to go to, to get more cash out for you.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: And there was no transferring to my personal names or anything.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: It was, if you want it, you got to pay
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: me cash. And yeah, I made a lot of it.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: And like, that's just good context, but how do you
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: go from earning that amount to going, okay, I'm 21.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: And like my partner and I have decided to have
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: a child. because you, I don't know, can you work
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: as a pregnant stripper? You probably can.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: There would probably be a niche for it now in OnlyFans,
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: but unfortunately that wasn't my niche. No. I think one,
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: the industry had played me out so poorly that I
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: was just done with it. So there was like in
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: my brain, I'd switch that off. So I just wasn't
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: able to do that anymore. And I was no longer
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: wanting to make that money anyway. So it was quite
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: easy for me to turn it off from that aspect.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: But going from being the breadwinner, I made the most
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: amount of money I paid for all my life to
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: then having to go to a man and outsource my
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: financial health to him was tricky. But back then we
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: were quite fortunate. He actually got paid like a, I
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: think it was like two grand with overtime every single week.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: And I think we paid maybe $ 400 of rent. So
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: we weren't struggling. I never felt like we were struggling.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: We actually have conversations now about like, oh my gosh,
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: I feel like his wages went so much further than
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: he feels like they do now. But we were lucky
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: that he was fully qualified and that we had this life.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: And I also never felt like we were going to
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: be left abandoned. We both had families that were willing
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: to help us and bought most of our stuff. So
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: we really didn't have to buy much, even house furniture.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: When we moved into our own place, it was just like,
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: I think his mom bought our whole entire house furnished
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: from Focus On. So we were like, okay, great.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: And you touched on something before that I thought was
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: really interesting. You said a lot of his savings went
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: to me before we were in a relationship, which his
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: mother didn't like. So did his mother know that he'd
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: like taken a stripper home.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: From the club? Yeah, he'd literally done the cliche song.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: He'd fallen in love with a stripper. I believe T-Pain
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: said that. Yeah, quote T-Pain. I was his first ever girlfriend,
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: the poor man. So he really threw himself into the
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: deep end. Well, I think I may have pushed him
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: into the deep end and just held him there. But yeah,
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: she wasn't too happy. They were actually pretty accepting of
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: what I did for a job. I think it was
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: the fact that I'd left their son without as much
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: money that they didn't love. And that I was very
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: like credit card positive. I was like, heck yeah, let's
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: get personal loans. Let's get credit cards. And I didn't
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: have a job that we could do that in. So
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: he had the job that had the, you know, pay slips.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: So I had no qualms, you know, kind of being like,
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: let's do this. I can be a very persuasive person.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: I mean, look what I did for a job. I'm
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: very good. I was about to say it's in your nature.
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: I think like a scary thing is how good I
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: am at manipulating men and still to this day have
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: to actively make sure I don't do that. I think
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: that's always been a talent of mine and I built
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: an entire career out of it and, you know, have
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: met my ex that way. And so I really did
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: have a knack for just being like, cool. you know,
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: let's just get a credit card. I remember being like, oh,
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: I really want this thing, but I just don't want
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: to have, you know, I don't have the cash right
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: now because I would spend my cash as quickly as
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: it came in. And it would be a Monday where
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: I didn't work. And so we would just figure it out.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? Like latitude and us
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: were besties. We were tight. Right.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: So you get pregnant and you're relying heavily on credit
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: cards and personal loans and, you know, cash is coming
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: in the door. But tell me, How does your life change?
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: I think it changed very little because we didn't do
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: anything either. We went from having like I worked predominantly
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: weekends and nighttimes and he was a homebody. So we
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: just went into our home and had our baby and
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: we were young and I was very lucky that I
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: have still my best friend today who also had a child.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: And kind of gave me the confidence to be like, ah,
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: you've got this. How about we can all, we'll burn together.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: It'll be fine. And so she would come over and
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: my other best friend would help me out every other day.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: But he would work long hours and I would be
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: at home with the kids and I fell in love
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: with it. I have a very addictive personality. So I
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: actively threw it all, like everything I had into being
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: a mom to the point where I did my early
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: education just so that I could understand his developmental and
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: all of that. Stop. I can never do anything by halves,
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: hence what's brought me to Shoes on the Money because
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: I can't listen to a podcast by halves. And so
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: I think it's definitely that thing where it seemed actually
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: really easy. Having our first two children was a breeze.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: I think staying together was less easy because we were babies. Yeah.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: But having the kids portion was actually kind of the
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: fun part. Like I found it really easy. I love
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: that that's the experience you got of motherhood. Cause sometimes
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: when you have kids really young, you're not like emotionally
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: equipped to deal with that. Even though you think you
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: might be like, Oh, I feel like I'm missing out.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: You're like, no, that was the fun bit. I love this.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: So what happened next? Like, your relationship doesn't work out? Well,
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: COVID happened and we were meant to get married and
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: we had actually got a loan out for our wedding.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: And I remember being like, okay, well, we know that
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: COVID's happening. We should postpone it. And I think that
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: neither of us were sad that we had to postpone it.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: And like the best thing about us was that we
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: had become best friends, that we were really, you know,
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: like content, I think, but we maybe weren't happy. And
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: there were a lot of little fights and a lot
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: of little changes in our life that happened. And yeah,
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: we had to cancel our wedding. And then I think
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: we realized we should probably cancel our our relationship and
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: again I was quite like I was so young I
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: can own that I was pretty toxic in that environment
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: as well because I just was like we have kids
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: and we were both such great parents he's such a
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: great father we just weren't each other's people by that
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: point anymore I was no longer the same person that
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: he met and he was still to me the similar
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: person to what I'd met and I think motherhood obviously
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: changes you in such a deep way and I feel
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: like I had changed in a something different. And I
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: think he absolutely needed something different. That's honestly so refreshing.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: I feel like there's always like, oh, he cheated, she cheated.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: You know, we fell out of love. We're arguing all
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: the time. Like, it seems like you still have a
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: very positive view and relationship of the person you now
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: co-parent with. Is that an accurate representation of what I'm
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: picking up?
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: A hundred percent. Like we obviously have our times where
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: it's usually me who has an attitude and like we
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: have our little fights, but for the majority, like... Old
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: habits die hard.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: I still have to pull myself up or my now
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: husband has to pull me up and be like, hey,
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: let's be a little bit nicer in the most loving way.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, fine.
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: I'm like, am I the problem? That's often what I'm
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: asking myself. Well, I mean, that's really good self-reflection that
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: you're able to be like, I seem to be the
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: common denominator here. And my parents also really love to
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: point that out as well. They're like, hey, just maybe
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: that's a you thing. That could be you. And I'm like,
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: how dare you not just take my side and blindly
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: like say. You are my parents. But yeah, no, I
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: think like we are really lucky. I think we co-parent
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: really well. Our kids and I still do Christmas all together.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: We do all matching pajamas. We're both now remarried and
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: both have new children. And I think we put in
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: a really big effort to get along. and try and
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: make sure that for our kids, you know, who are
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: still figuring it all out and still trying to understand
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: why mum and dad aren't together, I think we do
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: a pretty good job of staying, you know, friendly. And also, like,
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: I think it's really important to state that, like, I've
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: never seen him so in love and him so happy.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: I love that. And, like, I think I'm the same.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: I think we both... I think he got the wife
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: that he really needed and he gets treated the way
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: he deserves to be treated. And I think I also
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: get treated the way I deserve to be treated. And
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: I just think we weren't each other's people. And now
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: our kids are so lucky because they get to see
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: both their parents in actual love, not just in a
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: relationship for the sake of being with the children. I
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: am obsessed with that. And who would have thought the
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: stripper story was going to become so wholesome? Yeah, you
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: wouldn't believe the amount of people. I forget that that's
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: where you both started. And I was like, yeah, I
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: was in a strip club.
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: So at what point did your parents find out or
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: did they not find out? You're talking so openly about
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: this at the moment that I feel like it had
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: to have come up in every other aspect of your
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: life at some point. When I left the industry, unfortunately,
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: something bad did happen to me that made me leave
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: the industry. And because of the police's involvement with that,
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: my parents did find out that way.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: Which was obviously horrible. But at the same time, they
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: couldn't be mad at me because, you know, I was
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: dealing with so much already. But it kind of took
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: that like, hey, sorry, no, totally, for sure, for sure.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: But we have to just scan over that and help me.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, because of that, it kind of took
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: away that conversation. And I mean, it's 11 years post
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: me leaving and we've never had that conversation. Oh, you
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: still haven't spoken about it. Like it came up in
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: a super traumatic and triggering way. You couldn't talk at,
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: you were like, Hey, but we have to actually focus
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: on this other thing that's going on. So don't ask
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: me about that. Cause like right now I'm a little
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: bit too obviously fragile. And then they just never brought
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: it up again. Well, yeah, then I gave them grandchildren
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: and they were just like obsessed and they just now
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: are so thankful that I gave them these grandchildren that
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: I think that it's best if we just never. And
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: that is how we deal with conflict in that family
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: is 100%. I'm a talker. I love talking stuff out.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: They are not that way. So I'm like, hey, that's cool.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: We just never have to do that. And they don't
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: drink or anything. So it doesn't really come up in
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: like drunken conversations or anything. It's just like, We never
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: need to talk about it. That's so interesting. But also
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: just like so much part of that journey. Do you
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: think your kids will ever know what type of work
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: you were involved in at some point? I have no issue,
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: especially I have one daughter. I have no issue talking
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: about it because I think it's really important to talk
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: about easy money. And I say that with air quotes
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: because I don't think easy money exists. That job took
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: a huge toll on my life for the rest of
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: my life. And it also gave me a huge amount
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: of money at that point in my life. But when
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: I look back and think, was it worth it? I
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: would probably say no. So I think it's important to
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: have those conversations with my children to say, there are
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: so many jobs that are going to come and are
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: going to be like, you could make X, Y, and
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Z so quickly. But really think about, as you would say,
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: it doesn't align with your values or is it going
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: to be worth it in the end?
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: And I think that that's a really important conversation to have,
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: obviously at an age appropriate level. Like, I don't know
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: if your kid's eight, I'm probably not going, mommy was
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: a stripper. Like that's, that's not it. But like, I
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: think once they get to an age where it's like.
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: Oh, well, actually, did you know your mom was up
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: to this? Like, I think it can actually be really
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: constructive for your relationship as well. And like, could even
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: build it in a really positive way. Cause you're kind
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: of like, well, actually mom did this. So like, this
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: ain't my first rodeo. Like, Oh, you think you're good?
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: Well, I think I'm so open to, and I have
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: no shame in what I did. So I'm like, I
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: also want to teach them that, Hey, you can do whatever.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: And if you want to work in this industry, or
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: if you want to work for this, I'm going to
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: be supportive no matter what we choose to do, because
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: there is no shame here. Yeah. No love. And yeah,
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: Now fast forward, you're married to the love of your
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: life and you have another baby 10 plus years later. Yeah.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: So I went through that period of being a single
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: parent as well that I had, you know, next to
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: no money and had to learn how to struggle and
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: had to do all of that. And I really said, okay,
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: I never want to put all my money based off
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: a man's income again. When I separated from my ex,
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: I didn't get anything. I realized I hadn't had super
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: for 10 years. I hadn't had any of my own savings.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: I have nothing to show for even on a resume,
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: let alone a bank account or credit history because everything
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: was in his name. And so I was like, okay,
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: but I also... I'm living off $ 11. So what am
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: I going to do? And I actively only went out
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: and dated wealthy men. Again, this was that mentality of like, hey, well,
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: what am I good at doing? And I'll go and
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: I'll find someone that's maybe okay with not being in love. And,
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: you know, I'll just, we'll figure out a way that
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: I can survive because I feel like I'm very good
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: at just surviving and And then I realized that I
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: absolutely can't do this. And I was so bored sitting
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: in Nobu, not wanting to eat my raw fish. And
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: I was just like, actually, I can't. I don't want
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: this life for me or for my children. And I
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: just won't date. And then I met my partner and
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: he was actively just meant to be for fun. He
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: was not the most financially smart person. In fact, he
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: He was, you know, quite wild for a 30 year
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: old man. Like he had his own business, but I
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: don't think he was, you know, thinking about saving. He'd
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: already traveled a lot of the world. So for him,
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: that was kind of his priority. And I remember thinking,
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: this is not a stable like person that you could
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: as a person with three or two children could be with.
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: And you were kind of like of the mentality and
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: like rightly or wrongly, you were like, I'm only going
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: to date wealthy men. And I'm only going to be
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: doing X, Y, and Z. And then how did you meet?
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: Like, how do you meet someone that's out of that
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: wheelhouse and then end up dating them? Because obviously you
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: clearly had a strategy in your head. You're like, girl,
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: I'm going to marry rich.
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: I think I was like, okay, well, I can't work
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: because I have two kids at home. So I need
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: to marry like money. I, can't afford a mortgage so
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to marry someone I said I would
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: only date someone with a home they had to have
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: owned a home and bless my partner he had like
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: a man cave that he rented um and we met
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: on tinder so good old-fashioned tinder I met my husband
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: on tinder yeah I feel like it's like common these
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: days and again it was just meant to be fun
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: I was never meant to see him again and we
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: actually ended up really getting along and then the new
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: wave of COVID because it's obviously year post separating uh
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: the new wave of COVID came and we got put
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: in lockdowns and my ex and I shared custody and
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: I would have one of the weekends he would have
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: you know the other and so I was like well
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: there's nothing better to do you make them come and
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: hang out and then we just ended up getting along
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: like a house on fire and I had to kind
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: of pretend that I was like it's fine everything's fine
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: that you've fallen in love with this person it's so
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: fine I'll figure it out. How bad can it be?
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: But I then learned that he had like an amazing
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: work ethic. He'd built a really cool company and that
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: he had drive. And I think with a little education
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: or maybe some manipulation, I could help him get there.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: You're killing me. You're killing me. But also this is great.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: And become like financially stable. And I also learned that
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: he is a lot more financially stable than I thought
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: he was. It was just that because we weren't intending
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: to date there didn't need to be those kind of
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: deep conversations about like, hey, what's your goals in life?
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: It was kind of just like, hi, come over at 3am.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: And so it didn't really matter how much he earned.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: And yeah, so he was just a sole trader. And
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: then him and I started dating. And I was like,
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: are you sure? Because like, I come with two tiny humans.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: And at this point of my life, I had full custody.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: So I was like, like he sees them every other
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: time or when he can, but like it's me and them.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: So what are you going to do? We're a package deal.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: What's up? And he looked at our chaos and said, yeah, okay, let's,
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: let's do it. Oh, I love him. But we did
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: enter into that relationship saying we will, I'm never having
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: another child again. I've done this. And he was so
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: supportive of that. Unfortunately, he decided to be a phenomenal
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: step parent. And I had to be like, I love this.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: We were talking about this off air. I was like,
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: you said you would never have children again. So was
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: it an accident? You were like, no, no, this was
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: not an accident. I just saw how great he was
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: at being a dad and wanted to do it again.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: We very much intended to do that. And now we
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: have a one-year-old son. So we're very, very happy. I'm
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: obsessed and that's just so lovely like I was saying
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: to you that one thing when I met my husband
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: I was like oh damn like this is something that
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: historically in all of my relationships I was like oh
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I want children and then I
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: met my husband and I.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: Was like I really want your babies like I cannot
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: wait to see you be a dad and like that's
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: such a nice thing right Does that mean you're only
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: going to have one?
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: Or is there like another one in the future? Yes,
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: we're done. He's been to the doctors. Never again. Okay.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: But like you said that the first time. Well, thankfully
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: this time vasectomies exist and... They can be reversed. Like
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: science is amazing. Not a money win though. Not a
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: money win to reverse them. They do cost a lot
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: of money. And no, I just don't think I could
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: do that again. I'm so tired. Do you know what?
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: I love that. So... Now you have a one-year-old, you
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: are married to the love of your life. What do
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: you do for work? How much money do you earn?
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: I make $ 120, 000 a year. Pop off queen. I work
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: two jobs. So my first job is that I work
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: for my husband's company, which is now a company. We're
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: no longer sole traders. And I am the operations manager
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: and all of the back end. And then my other
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: job is like a company, well, that I've kind of
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: started and I am a virtual assistant in creating AI
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: startup processes for other trade companies to help them get
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: that ball rolling. That's incredible. So she's smart and pretty. Well,
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: she wasn't smart. up until she went on mat leave
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: and then decided I should start listening to a podcast.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: And that podcast suggested I should take some free courses online.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: And I was like, hey, I could do that. And
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: then I learned about AI. Oh, my God. How good.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: I need to get on that Coursera stuff because there's
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: just so much stuff online that you can learn for free.
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: Tell me, how did you pick what you were going
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: to learn? Because for those of you playing along at
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: home who maybe are like, what is Coursera? It is
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: a website that you can go to and lots of
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: universities and educational institutions around the world upload courses that
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: you can do for free. And yes, you can pay
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: at the end to get the proper certificate, but like
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: you can upskill yourself without having to pay for the
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: certificate at the end that the course is free.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: So how did you pick, well, what am I going
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: to learn? Literally TikTok. I was on TikTok and people
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: would talk about things like Claude and I was like, well,
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: what is Claude? Like, I don't know what that is.
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: And they were like free course on anthropic. And then
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: there would be extended courses on course AR. And then
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: It was like, oh, I could do an Excel. So
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: I did a little Excel one because I never really
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: learned how to use it. And then I would do
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: more and I was learning about different things. And I
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: was like, hey, like I could learn about Salesforce and
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: you know, further my CRM experience because I did have
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: some working in retail and I was like, I know
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: what a CRM is. I've actually got a lot of
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: experience doing that because I'd always just been in, I guess, sales.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: It was either sales or my body and then I
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: switched to sales in retail. So I was like, okay, well,
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: I don't want to go back to that after my
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: mat leads done. I had listened to She's On The
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: Money and I'd listened to so many inspiring women where
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: I was like, I actually want my own career and
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: I want to have something that I can do and
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: not just, again, outsource my financial resources health to a
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: man I was like as much as I love my
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: husband I'm married you just never know I think I've
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: lived proof that you think you're with your person and
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: you never know and you have children that doesn't cement
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: anything and I really wanted to know that if something
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: god forbid happened that I'm now able to leave and
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: be okay and work and have a career and yeah
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: I just kind of went on there and picked random
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: courses and I was like I could do that how
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: hard could that be and then by the end of
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: the course I'm like I can do that I even
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: went to the point of trying to do like financial
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: courses because I was like maybe I could be a
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: financial planner and then I was like no this is
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: hard this requires like an actual degree and I'm gonna
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: have to sit down and like go back to school
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: but also how good, like, I just, I love it.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: Like how hard could it be? Boys do this stuff
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: all the time. And I'm very much that person. I'm like,
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: I know if someone else could do it, like if
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: I know a man who can do that, you better
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: damn believe I can do that.
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: We can do it better. Like it's proven. So tell
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: me what is your big money goal? What are you
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: currently working towards?
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: We are trying to finalize our building loan as we
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: have just settled on our land. So finalizing our building
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: mortgage and being able to pay that down a lot quicker,
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: I want to have as much money in our offset
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: as we can. I also want to have like an
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: excess of savings in our emergency account. We're pretty lucky
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: we have a good amount. My husband earns quite a
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: lot of money. So we are earning it, but I
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: want to really be able to see where all of
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: our money is and really understand it all. I'm obsessed.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: I love this.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: Let's go to a really quick break. And on the
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: flip side, I'm going to ask you about your debts,
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: personal insurance, your best and worst money habits. Guys, do
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: not go anywhere. Money Diarist, we are back. Tell me
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: about your investing journey.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: So I have downloaded Sharesies and I have used the
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: code and I'm ready to go, but I'm just trying
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: to decide. I also have three children and I really
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: want to be able to set them up with their
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: own like shares essentially. So I'm trying to choose like
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: three different investments. and then put money into them. I
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: have money set aside to start investing, but we're just
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: not there yet. Yeah. Fair. Love that. Tell me about debt.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: You just settled on your land. So what does that
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: situation look like? The only personal debt that we have
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: is our mortgage. So we have $ 660, 000 worth of debt
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: for our land. Unfortunately, where we live, land is not cheap.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: So That's a lot. I'm excited to learn off air
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: where you live. And then finalize our building. So once
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: our building contract is done, our total loan will probably
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: be around the $ 1. 2 million mark. And that will be
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: our only debt. We do have cars in our company,
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: but they only have $ 20, 000 left to pay. And it's
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: actually more beneficial right now for us to keep them.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: To leave the loan on that, especially because of like
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: depreciation and being able to claim it. I totally understand that.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: Are you taking on more debt to do a big build?
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: Yes, because I like expensive things still. And like we
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: absolutely could have saved and, you know, move further out
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: and done all of the things. But I kind of
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: wasn't willing to give up where we wanted to live
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: and the kind of home that we wanted to have.
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: But other than that, no, we're lucky that we won't
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: need to take out any more money after our build
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: is done, though, to finish it. Yeah perfect. Now tell
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: me about personal insurances. How are you protecting this lifestyle
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: that you have created? So my husband's actually still in
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: the process with Sky Wealth now getting his sorted. Oh
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: you are? Yes so we joined full cult. We're full
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: cult members. I love this. And so he is yeah
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: in the process of getting his sorted and then we'll
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: get mine sorted once our all of our building and
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: everything loans and sorted so that we know how much
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: we have to have covered. So tell me, what do
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: you think your best money habit is? I feel like
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: you've probably got a few and they're probably a little
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: bit crafty these days. I think probably my ability to
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: sort through numbers when you have a company and you
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: also have another sole trading business, it's quite confusing. I
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: think my ability to, you know, save when I'm quite stubborn.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: And like I said, I have an addictive personality. So
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: since listening to finance podcasts, all of a sudden my
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: whole life has become about saving money and not spending it.
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: So tracking everything, I'm using the budget. sheet. I bought
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: the budget thing. I bought all the things. Oh, I
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: love you. To be able to do all of that.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: So probably saving is my biggest thing only when I
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: decide to. Adore. And what is your worst money habit?
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: At the moment, it's probably our takeaway and impulse like food,
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: alcohol decisions. Both of us are quite stressed and we're
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: both incredibly busy. So we do tend to kind of
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: go Let's just get takeaway. And then all of a
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: sudden with three children and us, it's like $ 150 later
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: when we absolutely had food at home. There was absolutely
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: food in the fridge. We just needed to cook it.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: But neither of us have the mental capacity. So that's
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: our absolute worst money habit. I hate how much we
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: spend on takeaway. it's actually becoming astronomical. We had some
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: friends over the other night and we were like, let's
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: get Indian. And like for us that, I don't know,
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: and maybe my brain is just not keeping up, but
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: 10 years ago, Indian is like 40 bucks and we
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: get some really nice curries, some rice, everything. it was
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: nearly $ 200 on Uber Eats. And yes, it was probably
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: more expensive on Uber Eats, but what are you talking about?
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: Like that's to me dining out amounts. And like, I'm
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: not mad. Thankfully, I'm in the very fortunate position where
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: we could afford that. But I remember being like, wasn't
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: like takeout meant to be the easy, quick, like, you know,
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: it's not that expensive way. Like we used to get
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: fish and chips as kids on Friday nights. And like,
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: I remember that being like real cheap, minimum chips, right?
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: Minimum chips isn't a thing anymore. Yeah. Our fish and
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: chips is now like $ 65 minimum. And I want to
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: cry about it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: That's just not for me. Not for fish and chips.
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: If I've got $ 60, you sure as hell, I am
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: buying Atlantic salmon from the supermarket and cooking it myself.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: Where I say that, that I'm like, no, it won't happen.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: I actively know that tonight's dinner is takeaway. Yeah. And
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: that's fine. I feel like we just need to be
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: aware of it, right? Now, Money Dirst, at the start
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: of this episode, you gave yourself a pretty good rating.
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: But now that we've spoken today, what grade would you
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: give your money habits? Like, would you change it? Are
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: you keeping it? I feel like vocalizing things sometimes makes
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: things different. I think I would keep it at a
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: B minus just because we're not investing yet. I feel
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: like once we're investing and once our personal insurances are done,
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: I'd be happy with like a B or an A minus.
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: I love that I've loved this episode I've loved everything
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: about it thank you for being so candid and open
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: and fun to talk about but also just sharing that
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: like life is life and that is genuinely so wholesome
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: so I wish we had so much more time to
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: chat I wish we could hang out in person which
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: I don't know we can work that out but I
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: just know that the community has gotten a lot out
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: of this episode and I am very grateful.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: For it thank you so much for having me.
• 48:10
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• 48:12
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• 48:16
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• 48:20
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• 48:35
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