Latest / Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce | Post Divorce Life / Are You Healing or Just Surviving? Recovery After Divorce, Trauma & Emotional Abuse

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Are You Healing or Just Surviving? Recovery After Divorce, Trauma & Emotional Abuse · Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce | Post Divorce Life

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Bent Not Broken.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Heartbreak and trauma may feel like the end of your story, but here it's the beginning of a bold new chapter.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Coach Deborah Griffiths, and this is the space where women rise, rebuild, and rediscover their purpose.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Remember this truth.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You are bet, not broken.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: What if the reason you still feel stuck isn't because you're broken, but because you've been using the wrong tools for this season of your life.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: In today's bonus coaching session, we're going deeper into something Carolyn shared in our last episode.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: The difference between surviving and actually healing.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the truth.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: You can look like you're functioning on the outside, going to work, raising your kids, showing up every single day, and still be living in survival mode.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: And survival mode, it will keep you safe, but it will not set you free.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about what survival mode really looks like.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: It might sound like I'm fine, I just need to get through today.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Or at least I'm not falling apart.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And how about, I don't have time to deal with this right now.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're coping, you're pushing through, you're managing, but you're not healing.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what Carolyn described.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: She had the awareness, she knew how trauma impacted her, but she stayed stuck there for years.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because awareness without action keeps you in place.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to ask yourself this.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Am I managing my pain or actually healing it?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let that sit for a moment.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Here's where it gets powerful.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: The tools that helped you survive are not the same tools that will help you heal.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Survival looks like avoidance, people pleasing, shutting down, staying busy, numbing out.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: And listen, those tools were necessary at one point because they protected you.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: But now they're keeping you stuck.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Healing tools look different.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Sitting with discomfort, being honest with yourself, setting boundaries, changing your self-talk, choosing differently, even when it's hard.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: One of the most powerful things Carolyn shared was this: healing is built on choices, not reactions.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Not big dramatic life changes, not overnight transformations, but small, intentional choices like speaking kindly to yourself instead of tearing yourself down, taking a walk instead of shutting down, saying no instead of overextending, and pausing before reacting.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: These small shifts, they change everything.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Let's make this real for you.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to choose one area where you know you've been in survival mode.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now ask yourself, what would healing look like here instead?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then take it one step further.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: What is one small choice I can make today that moves me towards healing?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Not tomorrow, not next week, today.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And another truth that might surprise you, living well doesn't mean life gets easy.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: It means you become equipped.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: You have tools, you have awareness, you have resilience.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: So when life happens, and it will, you don't fall apart the same way.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: You respond differently.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that's growth.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's healing.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's power.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about something that's uncomfortable for a lot of us.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: How you speak to yourself.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Carolyn shared that moment in the mirror, telling herself, I hate you.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you've never said those exact words, but you felt them.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Healing begins when you interrupt that pattern.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: So here's your next shift.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of I'm such a mess, try I'm learning.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of saying, why am I like this?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Try what do I need right now.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's how you start reparenting yourself.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's how you rebuild trust with yourself.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: If you take nothing else from today, take this.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: You are not behind, you are not broken, you are not stuck forever.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: You may have been surviving, but you get to choose healing now.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: One choice at a time, one moment at a time, one step at a time.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: If this resonated with you, I want you to take this deeper.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Inside my Living Bold coaching program, we don't just talk about healing.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: We walk through it step by step so you can break out of survival mode and start living with clarity, confidence, and purpose.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not ready for that, stay connected here on Bent Not Broken, because every episode is designed to help you rebuild your life from the inside out.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, remember this.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: You may have been bent, but you are not broken.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to today's episode of Bent Not Broken.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that this episode reminded you that even through life's toughest moments, you are bent, not broken.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: If this message inspired you, please share, rate, review, and subscribe, as it helps us reach more women who are ready to rise and rebuild.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, keep living bold and walking in your purpose.