Latest / Beyond the Arc: Reflections on Resilience, Identity, & Life Podcast / What’s Your Banana Photo?

Transcript

What’s Your Banana Photo? · Beyond the Arc: Reflections on Resilience, Identity, & Life Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Beyond the Arc.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Amy Gamble.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever stumbled across an old photograph
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: and suddenly found yourself transported back to a moment
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: in time you'd almost forgotten?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was a vacation,
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: a special person,
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: or one of those ordinary moments that turned out to be extraordinary.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Lately, I've been thinking about the stories we tell ourselves about our lives,
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: especially the ones we choose to remember.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: As I've continued my own healing journey, I've discovered something interesting.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we become so focused on the difficult chapters of our lives
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: that we forget just how many wonderful ones we've lived.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And wouldn't you know it,
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: a photograph of a banana tree in Maui helped me see things a little differently.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Today's essay is called, What's Your Banana Photo?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: I hope it brings back a few beautiful memories of your own.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Standing next to a banana tree on the island of Maui with my mom was one of
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: the first pictures I stumbled upon in my camera roll.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know those evenings when you're not really interested
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: in binge-watching anything, but you're not quite ready to fall asleep.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's when I tend to take a stroll down memory lane.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Truthfully,
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: my strolls have become more intentional since I began an all-out effort to recover
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: and heal from experiences that took me far longer to work through
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: than I ever imagined.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Setbacks have a way of, well, setting you back.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Not necessarily sending you all the way back to go,
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: but sometimes making you take three steps backward.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Recently I noticed something about my writing process that I wanted to share.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Much of my writing has focused on one dimension of my life.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: I call it the struggle focus.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: In reality,
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: there's an entire reservoir of experiences that includes far more joy and adventure
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: than suffering.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: But here's what happens.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: When we're going through difficult times,
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: whether it's losing a loved one, a pet, a job,
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: or something else that turns our world upside down,
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: much of our energy goes towards simply getting through it.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: What I've sometimes overlooked is that even during the worst periods of my life,
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: there were moments of joy,
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: things to laugh about, people to love, experiences to be grateful for.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I've begun asking myself a question.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: What stories am I choosing to tell?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever noticed this in your own life?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Do you focus on sharing only the positive stories?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do you find yourself dwelling on unfortunate events?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you revisit happier times because your present circumstances feel overwhelming?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Our brains are wired to protect us.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: The fight or flight response prepares us to respond to perceived danger.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that response includes freezing or trying to appease a threat.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Learning about trauma and the language associated with it helped me make sense
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: of experiences I couldn't previously explain.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Having the right words allowed me to assign meaning to what happened and begin healing.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Not that I didn't spend some time wallowing in self-pity.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: There was plenty of that, too.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: But something else happened along the way.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: I became so accustomed to examining the difficulties That I sometimes overlook
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: the extraordinary amount of good I'd experience.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've traveled to more than 25 countries.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I've had adventures I could never have imagined as a little girl growing up in West Virginia.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: I've known far more beautiful souls
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: than people I'd eventually concluded were better off without me and I without them.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And yet,
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: so many of those wonderful experiences have remained tucked away in photo albums
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: and camera rolls.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Until that banana tree caught my attention.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Suddenly my system got a jolt of positivity.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I almost forgot the numerous trips I'd taken to Maui.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: The time my mom and I took a boat to the island of Lanai where we spent
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: a relaxing day away from the crowds.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Back then it felt like a peaceful escape.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Today parts of the island have been transformed by luxury resorts.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Not sure if the banana plants survived.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember whether I ate one of those bananas either.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I do remember staying in a five-star hotel that had recently opened.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: We'd booked the trip through an all-inclusive Delta Airlines vacation package.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: The breakfast buffet was probably the healthiest seven days of eating I had ever experienced.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Towers of kiwi,
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: pineapple,
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: oranges,
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: strawberries, and yes, fresh bananas were stacked on one table after another.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I remember lying on a blue floating raft in one of the elevated pools reading a book
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: while overlooking the ocean.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: There wasn't much room to walk along the beach in front of the resorts,
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: but there was enough space to stand in the sand and let the waves wash
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: against my legs.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: One day my mom and I rented a blue convertible Mustang and drove
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: the winding road up Haleakala, Maui's famous volcano.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was fabulous.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: The sun was shining,
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: the breeze was blowing through our hair,
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: and the road could have challenged the West Virginia hills for the most twists
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: and turns.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: We reached the top, walked around, and took pictures.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: But on our way down, we came upon an accident.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: A car had seemingly taken a turn too quickly and overturned.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: We were among the first to arrive at the scene.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Other people were already helping, but there were definitely injuries.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: We were safe.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: We continued down the mountain,
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: passing multiple ambulances, racing uphill with their sirens blaring.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I could have allowed that accident to define my memory of the entire day.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: I could have focused on how dangerous those winding roads were,
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: which they are,
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: how easily something could go wrong,
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: which it can, how quickly a beautiful day could turn tragic.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'd have become afraid to travel that road again.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe those fears would have found their way into other parts of my life.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not what I remember most.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: I remember the sunshine, the blue Mustang, the fresh fruit, my mom, and those bananas.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't it interesting how our minds can hold both the frightening and the beautiful,
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: yet the stories we choose to revisit can shape how we see ourselves?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've had a bad encounter with someone and suddenly found yourself believing
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: the world is filled with horrible people.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've become so immersed in negative news and social media that your view
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: of humanity has become tainted.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe political divisiveness has strained friendships and relationships
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: that once meant a great deal to you.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Rhetoric that spreads hate is like poison.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: It seeps into our hearts and minds, changing the filter through which we view the world.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want that filter determining how I remember my life.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because when I look through my camera roll and old photo albums,
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I see a much more complete picture of my reality.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I see a woman who has experienced tremendous challenges,
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: yes, but I also see a woman who has lived an absolutely fabulous life.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: A life filled with adventures, laughter, friendships, love, and moments of sheer wonder.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I could have survived some of my darkest days without that foundation
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: of goodness beneath me.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps part of healing,
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: is learning to recognize that the painful experiences were never the whole story.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: They were chapters.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Important chapters, but not the entire book.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: So here's my question for you.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: What's your banana photo?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: That picture tucked away in your camera roll that reminds you of a beautiful day,
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: a wonderful invention, or someone you loved.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've forgotten about it.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's time to find it again.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: As for me, I'm going to keep looking.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because somewhere among thousands of photographs are stories I've yet to tell.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a feeling there's a whole lot more sunshine waiting to be remembered.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for spending a little time with me today on Beyond the Arc.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, life has a way of giving us both the beautiful and the difficult.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they even happen on the very same day.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I've come to believe that healing isn't just about making peace with the painful memories.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's also about rediscovering the joy that was there all along.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe sometime today,
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: you'll take a little stroll through your camera roll
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: or pull out your old photo album.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: And when you find that picture that makes you smile, linger there for a moment.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Remember the people.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Remember the laughter.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Remember how it felt to be alive in that moment.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And this story brought a memory to mind.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear about it.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can find my writing and more stories at amygamble.com.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time,
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Amy Gamble,
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Reminding you that there's always more to our stories than the chapters
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: that challenge us.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.