Latest / Flow State Business / A deep, soulful chat on nervous systems, boundaries and coming home to yourself with Alex Eden

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A deep, soulful chat on nervous systems, boundaries and coming home to yourself with Alex Eden · Flow State Business

• 0:00
  Right now it feels like everyone is talking about nervous system work.
• 0:03
  I'm not sure if it's just my world and I'm seeing it a lot, but I'm guessing that a lot of you who are in the coaching space have seen nervous system regulation come up as a really, really big aspect of helping a lot of online creators literally regulate their nervous system.
• 0:19
  And you may be seeing this in different forms around regulation, and boundaries, and capacity holding, and feeling safe with money.
• 0:28
  There's so many ways that we can slice this cake.
• 0:30
  The language is literally everywhere.
• 0:33
  And somewhere in all of it, the work has, at least I've seen, split in two.
• 0:39
  There's the spiritual and the energetic side over here, and then there's the grounded and the practical get it done side over there.
• 0:48
  My guest today meets us right in the middle.
• 0:51
  Alex Eden is a nervous system educator, somatic guide, and what she does is incredibly rare.
• 1:00
  She brings the world of energetics, the subtle, the sacred, and then she connects that back to the body, into the breath, into sensation, into signals that sometimes we're too busy to read.
• 1:15
  And the way that she talks about nervous system work is so centered.
• 1:19
  Like all of it comes back into what I believe a huge component of this audience would identify as, and that is ambitious and driven entrepreneurs here to do big things with their soul work.
• 1:32
  And we're on a mission to do what we're actually here to do.
• 1:37
  And sometimes that means we're just gunning for it.
• 1:40
  You know, we're just blazing ahead, and we don't have a lot of time for this nervous system stuff But I tell you what, when it comes up, and the calling is strong, and hopefully it's not always feeling burnout, but it's just these moments of feeling like I'm out of alignment, something's off, can't quite put my finger on it, Alex is your gal.
• 2:04
  She doesn't soften your drive.
• 2:06
  What she does is that she helps you strengthen the system that carries it.
• 2:11
  She's also one of the clearest voices I know on boundaries, embodied boundaries especially.
• 2:17
  These are not scripts that you rehearse and spew it out to your family, and it doesn't sound like you.
• 2:23
  But it's the type of boundaries where clarity is risen from a very safe and very honest place, and it helps you step into this level of unapologetic embodiment that I think we've sort of forgotten the art of.
• 2:37
  So let's jump into this conversation.
• 2:39
  Alex is in my mastermind.
• 2:41
  She is a private client.
• 2:43
  Oh my gosh, I'm so privileged to be a coach and to coach women like Alex, honestly.
• 2:49
  She's incredibly dear to me.
• 2:51
  Alex, welcome to the podcast.
• 2:54
  Hello, beautiful Alex.
• 2:55
  Thank you so much for joining on the podcast today.
• 2:59
  I'm so thrilled to have you here.
• 3:01
  Rubes, I am beyond excited to get all the juicy conversations going today.
• 3:05
  I'm so pumped.
• 3:06
  Now, you're a new mom I am.
• 3:08
  I am.
• 3:09
  I'm nine and a half weeks into postpartum.
• 3:12
  Oh my gosh, and here you are.
• 3:14
  We were just talking about this off-air, that we're both manifesting generators.
• 3:18
  Yeah.
• 3:18
  And I don't know if this is, like, a common thing with MGs, but we're ready.
• 3:22
  Like, we have, we, we have our family, we love them, but we're ready to get back into our purpose work, and usually quite fast.
• 3:29
  Yeah.
• 3:29
  Really, really fast.
• 3:30
  Faster than I thought.
• 3:31
  I was really enjoying postpartum.
• 3:33
  You know, obviously there's all the, the heels that come with it, but, you know, just relaxing, and then my body went, "Okay, so when are we doing stuff?" That little voice.
• 3:41
  I was like- … "Yeah, I wanna do stuff. Okay." How much time did you think you were gonna take off for maternity leave?
• 3:46
  So from external consulting work, I thought, "Oh, I'll take months off." But from my own business, it's like I never really… Maybe I thought actually two weeks, but then I started thinking.
• 3:57
  Because I work with women predominantly, and I was in such a female-oriented space of matrescence, so many juicy ideas were coming through.
• 4:06
  So I feel like I never really switched off.
• 4:08
  Yes.
• 4:10
  And I think that's where our conversation's gonna be going anyway, just because we're such… Oh, we jam so much on the energetics level- Yeah of doing business, and because of that, it's not like we have set plans in place.
• 4:23
  And even if we did, we'd probably break all those rules anyway, because it's like that pull towards purpose work is just so evident all the time, and you can't ignore it, and it actually probably gives us life, you know?
• 4:34
  Otherwise, what are we doing?
• 4:35
  Just sitting there scrolling whilst we're breastfeeding.
• 4:37
  Like, not a vibe.
• 4:39
  Yeah.
• 4:39
  And also it just, you kind of feel like other people are doing things.
• 4:42
  If you're an MG and you're breastfeeding and watching everyone live their lives, you just get a bit- Yes … of FOMO.
• 4:48
  Oh, 100%.
• 4:49
  It's the worst.
• 4:49
  Yeah.
• 4:50
  It's like being still is not, is just, it, it can't happen.
• 4:53
  It can't happen.
• 4:55
  So, okay, let's, let's start with what do you do?
• 4:59
  I'd love to hear the way that you bring it to life.
• 5:02
  Share with us what are the things that you bring into this world.
• 5:06
  Okay.
• 5:06
  Well, my name is Alex, and I am so obsessed with human behavior, and I always have been.
• 5:12
  Why we do what we do, and why we get in our own way.
• 5:15
  That's been the journey that I have walked.
• 5:19
  And how I kind of facilitate or bring it through is initially it started through poetry since I was really little, which is still a huge aspect of how I serve, I guess, or how I show up.
• 5:30
  But I actually do it now through my business, which is- I would say a blend, and stay with me here, of sacred science, stoicism, and somatic work Stay with you.
• 5:43
  We're so lent in right now.
• 5:45
  Just what is this juicy concoction?
• 5:48
  This sounds amazing.
• 5:49
  It's a wild cocktail of human behavior.
• 5:52
  Oh my gosh, were you always spiritual growing up?
• 5:54
  Did you come from a spiritual family?
• 5:57
  Oh, no.
• 5:58
  I came from no, they were not spiritual at all.
• 6:01
  A little religious, but kind of take it or leave it.
• 6:04
  Yeah, not spiritual at all, but I always was.
• 6:06
  I was obsessed with crystals when I was little, and I went through, I think we all did as '90s kids, of watching The Craft and thinking let's all be witches.
• 6:14
  Yes.
• 6:14
  Obsessed with that.
• 6:15
  I was ba- it was banned from my household, but then I- Really?
• 6:18
  Yeah, it was banned 'cause it was so witchcraft-y.
• 6:20
  Yeah, yeah.
• 6:21
  And like occult-y.
• 6:22
  So I had to go to my best friend's house and watch it.
• 6:27
  Yeah, I loved it.
• 6:28
  I was just … And, and my spirituality, it's interesting.
• 6:32
  How I kind of first started any of this work was I found stoicism, and I found it a really dark time in my life.
• 6:39
  I was in a marriage that was really unhealthy.
• 6:41
  And stoicism, which is not really, I would say, spiritual at all, although it has got to do with energetics and one's own sovereignty I guess, that, that kind of helped me get out of that marriage, and that was something that got me into studying more and more in human behavior and understanding why I do what I do.
• 7:00
  But then I just got so deeply into my spirituality, into reiki, energetics, deep meditations where I would get lost and parts of my body would light up.
• 7:11
  Like, I'd get tingling palms, which is like portals opening.
• 7:15
  Anyway, so juicy.
• 7:16
  Yes.
• 7:17
  Um, then I went to do plant medicine.
• 7:19
  I've delved in lots of different realms.
• 7:22
  I recently built a, or made a kangaroo hide shamanic drum- Oh … that I made through, to carry me through the process of pregnancy, birth, postpartum.
• 7:34
  So the older I've gotten, the deeper I have gone into my spirituality, but it almost feels like a coming home.
• 7:41
  Yes.
• 7:42
  Yeah.
• 7:42
  You're such a medicine woman, though.
• 7:43
  I love you.
• 7:44
  Like, you just have that energy about you.
• 7:47
  You guys might not be able to see Alex right now, but she's wearing, like, a fur vest thing.
• 7:50
  Yeah.
• 7:50
  And I'm like, you literally you're giving off medicine woman vibes.
• 7:55
  But no, truly, like, one of my really good friends, she's … Actually, she started off as my, uh, massage therapist and then went into the shamanic trainings and stuff.
• 8:04
  She also made a drum, I think I told you this, made out of kangaroo hide, and then the, um, the, the, what do you call it?
• 8:12
  The dung dung, the thing that you actually- Striker, I guess.
• 8:14
  I don't know.
• 8:15
  Yeah.
• 8:15
  Stri- … Uh, yes.
• 8:16
  The top of it is made out of, like, rabbit tail.
• 8:18
  Ooh.
• 8:19
  So it's, like, extra fluffy.
• 8:20
  But I tell you what, when I'm going for massage and I do the reiki and I- she plays the drums, oh my gosh, it is, there is nothing like it than the feeling of transporting me into other worlds.
• 8:35
  Mm. It takes me to so many places.
• 8:38
  It takes me to meet my spirit animals.
• 8:40
  It takes me to insane messages that I could never really quite get just in pure meditation.
• 8:46
  It's the drum.
• 8:47
  It transports, and it activates so much of, like, that root chakra energy for me.
• 8:53
  Mm-hmm.
• 8:53
  Like, it real- I feel it literally from the ground up.
• 8:56
  So is that, did you experience that?
• 8:59
  Like, what … Have you been to these ceremonies?
• 9:01
  And tell us a little bit about your, your journeys.
• 9:05
  Sure.
• 9:06
  So I completely get what you're saying about the drum,'cause it is, it's the oldest instrument ever, right?
• 9:12
  It's the first instrument that was created, and there's an amazing book called When the Drummers Were Women, which is all, it's got to do with women through history who have drummed through different cultures, and even talking about this, I just, all my- Yeah, same all my senses are tingling.
• 9:27
  I love it.
• 9:28
  Um, because there's so much power in that.
• 9:30
  And the shamanic drumming meditations, they take you to different realms.
• 9:34
  Like the upper realm.
• 9:35
  Totally.
• 9:36
  Yeah, so it's just so powerful and pulls you right down into the, into the ground.
• 9:40
  I love it.
• 9:40
  It can also be very intense sometimes when you have a, yeah, strong journey.
• 9:45
  Uh, so I guess it started with I was going to see a dear medicine brother who does Reiki, and he really helped me through, I don't know.
• 9:56
  He, he was, he, he's a medium, he's a Reiki master, and he also helped me really process a lot of things and orient me, which is really cool.
• 10:05
  And he actually encouraged me to, to go and do plant medicine, to go and do ayahuasca.
• 10:11
  I had been seeing him for three years, and he kept saying, "Alex, you've gotta go and do it.
• 10:15
  You've gotta go and do it." And I was like, "Okay." And he would put me down on this waiting list, but it never came through.
• 10:20
  And so we just kind of thought,"Oh, that's a bit odd." And then I started getting these … This is gonna sound super weird, but we're in this beautiful space.
• 10:28
  Uh, I started, I was, remember I was in the shower one day, and I got this overwhelming download about medicine, almost like the medicine was calling me, like, "It's time, it's time to come." And I was going,"Okay, that's really wonderful, but I'm really scared." Um, because I just, I kn- I knew that it would be big for me, and I kept getting these calls, kept getting these feelings.
• 10:52
  And then a co- in a couple of weeks, my friend, the Reiki master actually contacted me, and he's like, "Oh, you're in. I've got the email. Here you go." Timing, perfect.
• 11:01
  After three years, hilarious.
• 11:03
  The universe has wonderful jokes.
• 11:05
  Um, and I started sitting probably four years ago, and I, the first time I went was with my then boyfriend, now husband, and it was incredible.
• 11:16
  It was beautiful and scary.
• 11:20
  It was a full ego death.
• 11:22
  And I have to say, it's not for everybody, but I have… Even my mom said I have not been the same since, and- Wow… been positive.
• 11:31
  Yeah.
• 11:32
  And this is a sweet Italian woman who's like,"Alex, what is ayahuasca?" Oh my gosh.
• 11:37
  I love it let her.
• 11:39
  She's like, "I want you to do what you wanna do, but what is this?" Um, it's a special, it's a special drink.
• 11:46
  Yeah.
• 11:47
  So, you know, it's a bit culty.
• 11:49
  No, it's not.
• 11:50
  Um, and now she loves it.
• 11:52
  She's like … It's not she loves it, but she loves that I did that because she can see how much I've grown and changed, not just from that, but because it's not just about the ceremony, right?
• 12:02
  The ceremony is powerful, and the, the, the medicine is powerful, and the visions.
• 12:07
  It's all about integration, which is literally with any healing work.
• 12:11
  It's what you do with the information and the downloads and what you receive- Mm … not just going to one session and feeling like you're gonna be healed, right?
• 12:19
  So now what are you gonna do, and how are you gonna orchestrate from what you've learned?
• 12:23
  Mm. I totally see … I don't know if this is on the cards for you, but I see you hosting these at some point, and- Serving medicine?
• 12:32
  Oh my goodness.
• 12:33
  Yes.
• 12:33
  Yeah.
• 12:34
  And at some point, you know, because it is also incredibly scary, like you said, you know, that I've had that feeling also.
• 12:41
  I've never done it, but a lot of, like, my thoughts are, "Am I ready for it?" Or I don't, I also don't wanna be in a room with a lot of randoms- Mm … you know, like, who are going through their own processes, and then me just feeling like, "Oh, no, I'm taking on their energy," and I would rather do it solo.
• 12:59
  And I don't know, I just picture you holding very safe spaces for people to do that.
• 13:04
  But yeah, could be down the track.
• 13:06
  And in the meantime, you're healing.
• 13:09
  Your energy's so healing, and it's so holistic.
• 13:13
  And the way that you also translate all of this, like your own personal experiences, into your business is very tangible, and that's something that I think a lot of, uh, spiritually led entrepreneurs and teachers find quite difficult because once you go down that path of having experienced such deep, you know, you're traveling different worlds and different realms, what have you done to kind of come back to 3D, so to speak, and go, "I'm gonna help people with their nervous system.
• 13:46
  I'm gonna help people think clearly.
• 13:48
  I'm gonna help people with their confidence"?
• 13:50
  Like, how did you connect that and bridge that work to what most, I would say, would understand as, "Yeah, this makes sense to me"?
• 14:00
  That's such an epic question, and I agree.
• 14:02
  Because you do visit these places, and then you kind of come back into 3D land and think, "Okay, how do I, how do I be a human here?" When you've just, when you've been- Yes … your vision's been expanded so much.
• 14:14
  I've always been a very grounded person.
• 14:17
  Mm.
• 14:17
  I'm gonna go on a bit of a tangent here, but I went to Peru a few years ago, and we walked the Inca Trail, and I remember being in front of the giant Apu, the giant mountains, and just feeling a beautiful hum and connection from them because that's almost how I see myself, very, very solid, very, very grounded.
• 14:36
  So whilst I can visit these different places and have, like, beautiful, joyous ceremonies and go all that type of stuff, my feet are very much in this world, and I think my anchoring of stoicism is always there.
• 14:49
  It's almost a humble authority, which means I never, I'm, I'm, I never think I know too much.
• 14:55
  I'm always open to learn, but I'm very aware of who I am, and so I hold those two truths.
• 15:01
  And that's kind of how I alchemize what I have learnt, my lived experience, what I've studied, all my spiritual visits to different realms, which I love, and bring them into the 3D, and how do I alchemize that into something that can actually help people who are at different levels of… Like, some people don't get spirituality at all, and they never will, and they don't want to.
• 15:24
  So it's how do I bring those gifts through for the general population, not just for those that are deeply spiritually inclined?
• 15:31
  And one way, and thank you for noticing the space I hold, because one way that I do that is women's circles, which is such a deep, deep love of mine.
• 15:42
  And actually, I started doing them after I had a miscarriage earlier last year.
• 15:48
  Mm.
• 15:48
  I just birthed the desperate need to work with women and work with them in space, one-to-one, face-to-face.
• 15:57
  And so much beauty and medicine came out of that because women from all walks of life would come and sit, and I would build this incredibly powerful altar full of medicine tools and condor feathers, and just wild things that- I wanna come.
• 16:11
  Where- Yes.
• 16:12
  I wanna come to one of these.
• 16:13
  Oh my gosh, I'm so there.
• 16:16
  It's so delicious.
• 16:17
  It's, even for me, it's, it's got nothing to do with my medicine, it's everyone else's medicine.
• 16:23
  It's just the space that I hold and that the, the altar holds, 'cause the altar anchors.
• 16:27
  Yes, and also like who… Yes, and also like who you attract.
• 16:30
  Yeah.
• 16:30
  That's like, it's such a big part of women's circles.
• 16:33
  Like, I've been, I haven't been to so many, but I've maybe done three or four, and it's so interesting because the first one I went to was like one at my yoga studio, and it was a lot of hurt people.
• 16:45
  Mm.
• 16:46
  And I was like, "Oh, this is interesting." And, you know, just different levels of hurt.
• 16:50
  And then I went, the others that I went to were very much success driven, and I love that.
• 16:56
  You know, kind of more we know there's so much more for us, and we're calling that in as a collective.
• 17:02
  And I just think it's like who your host is, and their energy, and who they're here, here to heal or ascend.
• 17:10
  Yeah.
• 17:11
  So I'm like, I literally mean this, Alex, like I would come to yours in a heartbeat.
• 17:15
  Where, are you s- are you gonna host these soon?
• 17:17
  Like, what, you've gotta keep us updated.
• 17:18
  Yeah.
• 17:19
  I feel, I feel the need to get back into it,'cause I just, I love it.
• 17:22
  And it, it's interesting though, when I first started doing them, the following day I would be exhausted like I got hit- Yeah by a truck because I didn't have the energetic hygiene.
• 17:32
  I was just holding everything down, and- Mm … everyone come and bring all your crap and dump it here.
• 17:37
  And I… Whereas now it's a lot cleaner, more embodied, and there's a lot of energy work within that.
• 17:44
  You're kind of working with people's, what they're bringing, how deeply they wanna lean in, and also the safety that you can create.
• 17:52
  But the thing with somatic work, and women's circles, and all of that stuff, one, it's all about what's going on for you.
• 17:59
  So there are times when I have canceled women's circles because I have not been regulated.
• 18:03
  I have not been in the space to do it, and I think as anyone that works in this space, you have to have that level of integrity.
• 18:12
  Otherwise, your emotions are leaking onto others, and they feel it, you know?
• 18:16
  So you can't get that- The arrogance or the ego around it, I feel like there's no space for that in this work.
• 18:23
  Yes.
• 18:24
  And the second thing is knowing that you can create a safe place, but that doesn't mean that that person feels safe.
• 18:30
  So they come with different levels of capacity and different levels of safety in their system.
• 18:35
  So it's the delicate dance between that that kind of makes it work.
• 18:40
  Do you find it easier when you do these circles to have a theme, or is it more just every month or every quarter you hold one and the theme shows up on its own?
• 18:52
  I would say the latter.
• 18:53
  I- Mm … I mean, if I was more organized, maybe there'd be a theme.
• 18:57
  If I was more- Like, I don't know, to be really honest.
• 19:01
  I, it's always been embodied alchemy.
• 19:03
  That's, that is the core of my business.
• 19:06
  That's the anchor.
• 19:07
  It's all about being embodied and all about alchemizing what you have into something greater.
• 19:12
  Mm.
• 19:12
  Uh, the only time I did a theme was when we had an equinox into the fire horse year.
• 19:18
  That I did, yeah, 'cause that was palpable.
• 19:20
  Yes.
• 19:21
  So, and that was done outside in Centennial Park in Sydney.
• 19:24
  It was beautiful.
• 19:25
  Wow.
• 19:25
  Wow.
• 19:26
  So yeah.
• 19:26
  Do you have any real core dates, like such as the equinox, but any core moments throughout the year that you're, you feel really affiliated to?
• 19:38
  Like, that's your thing.
• 19:39
  Like, I was watching Gabby Bernstein.
• 19:42
  She was actually my, one of my first, like, um- What's it called?
• 19:45
  Gateway.
• 19:47
  Yeah, gateway.
• 19:48
  Gateway into spirituality.
• 19:49
  A- and I think she's also got a beautiful way to bring people through.
• 19:52
  But her, I find, like, a lot of her work I relate to the Lion's Gate portal, which is so interesting- Mm because she's just always on my feed, on my YouTube feed- Yeah … every August.
• 20:03
  It's like, "Oh, there's Gabby again." That's definitely her thing.
• 20:07
  Do you feel like you've got certain key moments, dates that you're like, "That's mine"?
• 20:13
  Yeah.
• 20:13
  So I, when it changes from summer into winter, which- Mm … is that?
• 20:19
  I'm pretty terrible.
• 20:20
  I've also got baby brain.
• 20:21
  Maybe that's my excuse.
• 20:22
  Uh.
• 20:23
  The equinox is.
• 20:24
  We'll go with that.
• 20:24
  Yeah.
• 20:24
  Yes.
• 20:25
  We'll go with that, yeah.
• 20:26
  Deeply spiritual, aren't I?
• 20:27
  Don't know any terminology.
• 20:29
  Um, yeah, when it ch- Because I think it speaks to, in just going into human design, my profiles are six-two.
• 20:36
  So is my son's.
• 20:37
  Yeah.
• 20:37
  Oh, right.
• 20:38
  Okay, cool.
• 20:39
  Um, b- so that hermit energy is really alive in me, and when it comes, when it moves from summer, which is, like, joyous and, you know, beautiful and then gets into autumn, I'm an autumn baby too.
• 20:49
  Maybe that's what it's about.
• 20:51
  But I find a lot of, a lot of, um, I don't know, a lot of medicine gets cultivated down in the darkness a little bit.
• 21:00
  That sounds pretty… I don't know.
• 21:02
  There's just something about- About- … going inward.
• 21:04
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:04
  Yeah.
• 21:05
  My, I think my, my internal world seems to be huge and getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
• 21:11
  Yes.
• 21:11
  And so I like to return to it, and that, that changing from summer into autumn is a really, that's a really, it's a time for me to go inward, and I find that's where everything comes.
• 21:22
  Like, all the, you know, the women's circles and the business and just all of it.
• 21:27
  All of it seems to come through the more I orient inward.
• 21:29
  Which also makes sense, because I'm in the somatic world, right?
• 21:32
  It's all about the inward world.
• 21:33
  Exactly, exactly.
• 21:34
  And maybe speaking for myself here, and maybe others, just, I just, oh.
• 21:40
  Like, I think about doing the deep work and the inner healing and going inner, and I just go, "Ugh." Yeah.
• 21:48
  Really, like sometimes when, when you're called to that and you know it's that season, it's like- Okay, here we go again.
• 21:54
  Like, all right.
• 21:55
  All right, hit me with it, universe.
• 21:58
  And it's like, it almost just feels like a slog upfront, which is why we need people like you to be like, "It doesn't have to be a girlfriend." Mm-hmm.
• 22:06
  Like, this is also, this could read like abundance, and it could read like a really beautiful time for your new season.
• 22:14
  But, you know, I think in the past I've always just gone, oh my gosh, like, I know this feeling and all of that.
• 22:20
  But yeah, I, I have this real affinity with it.
• 22:24
  Also, like, I truly believe that the answer that you're looking for is often in the shadow, and we're so scared to go there that we're just, like, running away from the shadows when the easy answers is there.
• 22:38
  You just have to surrender to it, and those words are often associated with, oh my gosh, such dread.
• 22:45
  But doesn't have to be.
• 22:46
  No.
• 22:47
  I love that you said that, because no one is, no one is immune to that, right?
• 22:51
  I was the same.
• 22:52
  When I first got the call to do medicine, I was like, oh, okay.
• 22:56
  Okay, this is gonna be a wild ride.
• 22:58
  And then just any time you need to, you feel that call inward, I mean, we like to- we don't really wanna do that.
• 23:04
  We wanna have fun and play and, you know, we, we avoid sometimes.
• 23:08
  So it can feel like a bit of a slog until we're in it.
• 23:12
  Until you get in it, and you start to realize that fear is, what do they say?
• 23:17
  A mile wide but an inch deep.
• 23:19
  Mm. Yes.
• 23:20
  It seems so overwhelming and so, oh, I don't wanna do it, I don't wanna do it.
• 23:24
  But every time I would say, well, every single time I've gone in there, I've cultivated such self-esteem and courage.
• 23:34
  And s- when I sat medicine once, the, or the first time actually, someone who was serving us said, "You've got to meet the medicine like a warrior.
• 23:43
  You've got to sit up and meet it like a warrior, and also understand that the medicine is you and you are the medicine," right?
• 23:51
  Which means can't hurt you, because it is you.
• 23:54
  It's coming from you.
• 23:56
  It's a collaboration with it, which is a beautiful, I guess a beautiful, um, saying of life and shadow work.
• 24:02
  It's- Yeah, that's what I was just- There's no need to- thinking of, like, that's so- Yeah … so that's just perfect life advice.
• 24:07
  Yeah.
• 24:08
  Yeah.
• 24:09
  And I have- Over time, cultivated a bit of a saying to myself, which is whatever I'm afraid of is what I'll run toward.
• 24:16
  Mm.
• 24:17
  I don't do that with everything'cause I'm claustrophobic and I do not run towards small spaces.
• 24:21
  But the other work, the internal work, that I'll run toward.
• 24:26
  Difficult conversations, things that I know I need to do, just run toward it because each time you do, you're telling your system,"I can do hard things," which- It's so true… especially as women, and birth, we do need to remember how palpable, powerful, and potent our medicine is.
• 24:45
  Mm. How would you describe embodiment?
• 24:50
  I would love to hear your definition of it.
• 24:53
  You are the queen of it.
• 24:54
  Bless you.
• 24:55
  It's, it's often the lost key to running a successful business because we get so distracted by 101 other things.
• 25:05
  How would you describe it?
• 25:06
  Embodiment to me is, first of all, to be at one with your body, which means a lot of different things for women, physically, emotionally, spiritually.
• 25:16
  But in, in simplest terms, my definition of it would be how close are you living to your truth?
• 25:21
  How close are you living to your… How transparent are you, and how safe do you feel in that transparency and that truth?
• 25:28
  Oh, I love that.
• 25:30
  It's just this full- Mm … being unapologetic and not letting the judgment And I mean, judgment is of- often the big one of like I'm so embodied in what I do.
• 25:43
  One person comes along and says,"You look crazy. What are you doing?" And all of a sudden all of that work you've done around embodiment feels vulnerable.
• 25:55
  So if someone's in that- They're in that phase, and it could be things like, you know, bringing it back to just the everyday stuff.
• 26:02
  I think sometimes embodiment can feel so large and so unknown, and so also very esoteric.
• 26:09
  Mm-hmm.
• 26:09
  But let's say it's someone deciding to show up and show their face on Instagram- Yes … and to post their first video reel, or to start a podcast and share their voice, and, you know, often it's not others even saying it, it's just ourselves, or it's like we sound bad, we look bad.
• 26:26
  And when we, we fall out of that embodiment part where we can't tell our truth because we're so worried about perception, what would be your piece of advice to come back into that truth?
• 26:39
  So a lot of the time, and I battle with this as well, a lot of the times when we feel judged, it's judgment coming from us, although there will be people that say that you're, you look crazy and things like that.
• 26:50
  But generally they're not the people that we would trust or love or, you know, they're not the closest people to us.
• 26:57
  The biggest roadblock that I find is the self-judgment and the self-critic that we have inside us, which we think is our personality or just how we are.
• 27:07
  But really, that voice was cultivated somewhere on our journey, somewhere in our childhood, somewhere we were told we were too much or not enough or, you know, we looked crazy or we dressed weird, and so those things live in our psyche.
• 27:21
  My advice would be, if you're feeling that way, observe the feeling, but understand not all feelings and thoughts are true.
• 27:29
  Sometimes they come from somewhere else, and they're, they come up for us to orient to and- Observe.
• 27:37
  But if you're observing something, if you're observing that feeling, or if you're observing that judgment, it doesn't mean it's true, and it doesn't mean it's actually you.
• 27:46
  So which part of you, we might say, is feeling that way?
• 27:51
  Which part of you is judging how you look?
• 27:53
  It's not the whole part, it's just one part.
• 27:56
  But there's also another part that wants to do it because you're showing up, right?
• 28:01
  So there's an old story about two wolves, a black wolf and a white wolf, and I don't think they're good or bad, but the story kind of says that they are.
• 28:11
  So there's one wolf that's very, you know, um, let's s- call it the shadow wolf, and then there's the white wolf that's all joyous and happy and, you know, all about goals and dreams.
• 28:22
  It just depends on which wolf you're feeding.
• 28:24
  So sometimes I think to myself, if I'm on the verge of doing something that scares me a little bit and I have judgment coming up, or I'm already self-censoring because I'm worried, anticipating what people in my life might think of me, which happens still to this day, I just think about which wolf inside me am I gonna feed, and who do I want to orient to?
• 28:46
  Because there's a part of me that wants this, that wants to grow, that wants to show up.
• 28:51
  If I just feed that part, what happens then?
• 28:56
  Ooh.
• 28:57
  That visual in my mind, I'm like holding up two juicy steak chops, and I'm like, "Which wolf?" Which wolf gets this?
• 29:06
  Yeah.
• 29:07
  Oh, and I'm just… It's even just taking me back to, you know, it goes like that, right?
• 29:11
  Like a month ago I was feeding the black wolf.
• 29:14
  I was just like, "Oh my gosh," like, "What if I'm getting irrelevant?" Like all these things.
• 29:20
  Or it's like, "What if I'm getting lost in the haystack?" And I don't know, am I boring myself?
• 29:26
  Feed, feed, feed.
• 29:28
  And then I'm just like,"Something has to change.
• 29:30
  I'm ready for my glow up now.
• 29:31
  I'm, I'm ready to come out of this," and yeah.
• 29:33
  It's, it's so true.
• 29:34
  It's like, let's feed the white wolf and see what happens.
• 29:38
  And then one thing started happening after another, you know, that momentum.
• 29:43
  And I really feel, and I, oh, I know you messaged me about this, that along the lines of like, "Wow," like, "your glow, your energy is back." I appreciate that so much 'cause I felt that.
• 29:54
  And your you s- there's a handful of people who CC me, and when you messaged me that I'm like, "Oh, she CCs me." You know?
• 30:02
  It's like, oh yeah, Alex.
• 30:04
  Like you can't get much past her.
• 30:08
  Of course.
• 30:09
  Of course.
• 30:09
  But, so I really took that because I was like, yeah, and I think it wouldn't have happened that way if I didn't stop feeding, you know, the dark wolf and be like, "Stop." You know, 'cause it could just keep going.
• 30:23
  One thing that you've recently discussed, especially on socials, which has been going so well, and I wanna bring this to the pod, is boundaries.
• 30:33
  And- I think this is a, this is an epic conversation to have around embodiment anyway, because who do you let in?
• 30:41
  And who do you kick out of your aura?
• 30:44
  You know, it's like it's gotta go.
• 30:46
  And I was speaking to a friend and client the other day, and she had someone in her life who was, um, just like s- a service provider, someone who's like … She's had this person in her life for, like, years, decades almost.
• 31:02
  And she's like, "You know what? I think, I think I need to break up with this person." And sure enough, did it, and I feel her aura is so different.
• 31:13
  And you don't even know that, like, a boundary has to be drawn there because it's just such a part of your life.
• 31:18
  So I'd love to learn from you, and speaking directly to … You know, we've got a lot of coaches and mentors and spiritual peeps on here.
• 31:27
  Where do you even start with knowing where your boundaries are?
• 31:32
  I think sometimes it's like you, you think you know, but so much has shifted that you're like, "I haven't even thought about where's the line." Yeah.
• 31:41
  I am so obsessed with boundaries, as you can tell, because I think, especially when it comes to women, that they are the single most important thing that we can learn to cultivate and enforce.
• 31:55
  And how, I guess, you would figure out where your boundary lives is in your body.
• 31:59
  Your body always knows the boundary.
• 32:03
  I would say the issue or … And it's an issue, but it's also, like, it's a positive.
• 32:09
  A lot of women, especially coaches, consultants, super intellectual.
• 32:13
  They can tell you their patterns.
• 32:14
  They can tell They know it all, right?
• 32:17
  The problem with that, and a lot of my clients, super smart women, high performers, love them, they're amazing.
• 32:23
  There's so much in the mind because that's where we've kinda learned to live.
• 32:27
  It's also, you know, it's a masculine way of operating, which is fine.
• 32:32
  We need both masculine and feminine.
• 32:34
  But when you over-intellectualize something, you're kinda cutting off what the body's trying to tell you.
• 32:40
  And we can't learn that which we think we already know.
• 32:42
  So if you intellectualize something and think, "Oh yeah, the … I'm feeling anxious," and blah, blah, blah, "this is why," and all my patterns and stuff, we're not checking in with the body, how the body's feeling.
• 32:52
  What does my body actually feel about being around this person?
• 32:55
  If I'm gonna bring on a client and I get a message from them, and I'm like, "Oh, yeah," pay attention to that.
• 33:03
  Or if you get a message from someone and you're like, "Oh my God, I'm so pumped. I love this chick. I'm so excited to work for her or work with her." Your body's always tell- you'll feel it.
• 33:12
  There'll be a fizzing or a subdued feeling or … And what I would suggest from a somatic perspective is just taking some time before you make any decision, and I mean even the smallest decision about someone asks you, "Do you want a coffee?" Or, "Do you wanna catch up and go for a walk?" Or, "What do you want for dinner?" Take a second and check in with your body.
• 33:36
  Where do you feel that?
• 33:38
  Do you really wanna go?
• 33:39
  Is that a yes or a no?
• 33:40
  Do you feel it in your root chakra, in your gut?
• 33:43
  Do you feel it in your shoulders?
• 33:45
  Just taking a second to connect and strengthen that connection is going to really help you orient to what you think, what you really want to do.
• 33:54
  Um, and I think Like I've, I've fired clients before because I just thought, I initially took, took them on because I was a, a baby coach, as I would say many years ago, and I felt I had imposter syndrome.
• 34:08
  So I was like, "Oh yeah, I'm so grateful they'd work with me." But it was such a hard slog because they weren't ready for the work.
• 34:16
  They just really wanted therapy and someone to play into their victim story, which I don't do.
• 34:21
  I'm like profusely nodding over here, 'cause I'm like, "Also experienced these things, yes." Yeah.
• 34:27
  And it's really difficult, especially as you're growing a business, so anyone growing a business, which I am too, you think there's this space of, "I'm just so grateful somebody would see my medicine or work with me, or think that I'm worthwhile," so you wanna say yes.
• 34:42
  But is that what the most embodied version, the, the version who is as close to her truth as possible, is that what she would choose?
• 34:49
  Mm.
• 34:50
  And it's difficult.
• 34:51
  Sometimes the hardest things are what we say no to.
• 34:54
  100%. I had a client also in my baby coaching years who… And how it showed up for me, in terms of it being just a terrible, terrible fit, was she was much older than me, so a lot of the conversations that we had was, it was her, her phrasing, was her languaging of, "Oh, you know, at your age, you probably don't understand." And I'm sure it was just more so in the beginning sort of like a passing thing, but the more we were in this relationship, the more coaching relationship, the more it was like, "Oh, little girl, you don't know, you don't know very much." It kind of came across in that energy, and then it turned extremely uncomfortable.
• 35:33
  And I remember every time I was due to be on a call with her, my jaw would almost lock up.
• 35:41
  It was such an interesting feeling, where I was like,"Oh, why is my jaw hurting?" And I could see her on the calendar, and then I would start salivating heaps, like, e- every time, Alex.
• 35:52
  It was uncanny.
• 35:54
  And I'm like, "This is literally my body going, "Ugh,"" like cl- clenching and just feeling so much stress over this one call on the calendar.
• 36:04
  Eventually, it was my first client firing, which was so nerve-wracking of itself, but it was actually, if I reflect back on that, the first time I stood up and drew my own personal boundary on which clients I'm taking.
• 36:19
  So it had gone, that was a real chapter shift, where it had gone from I take any client because feast or famine, to I choose my clients, and I choose abundance as a result.
• 36:31
  So I love that you've said, like, everything comes back to our body, which is the compass.
• 36:36
  And it's like even now chatting with you, I just feel really just tingly, and I feel our auras, and I'm just like, "Oh, I'm so in this, like, time tunnel with you right now." It's kind of just like brr, you know?
• 36:48
  That's how it feels on the good side of things, 'cause it's like, "Oh, my God, like what?
• 36:52
  How's it been 35 minutes already?" You know, it's like, what?
• 36:55
  Yeah, I have no idea.
• 36:56
  It, it's- 35 minutes, wow.
• 36:57
  Yeah, it's interesting.
• 36:58
  I know.
• 36:59
  We can talk.
• 37:01
  Okay, so do you run through a body scan when you're going through your own boundary work, or do you feel it just spotlights and you're just like, "Ah, my shoulder hurts.
• 37:13
  I wonder why." Or do you actually go through a more conscious process of, "All right.
• 37:18
  Let's go down the body and s- and respond from there"?
• 37:21
  What's your process around knowing whether or not it's a boundary thing or it's a fear into growth thing?
• 37:28
  Yeah, good question.
• 37:29
  So when I am in my higher self with my time and all those things, I would definitely sit and do a body scan.
• 37:35
  In fact, I've recorded a few audio body scans, 'cause they're really, really helpful, and I give them to my clients.
• 37:41
  I've given them to most people actually.
• 37:44
  Um, it's a really nice way.
• 37:45
  It's calming, beautiful meditation music, but a really nice way for you to just check in.
• 37:49
  Um, if I… What I would say I do on a general day-to-day basis is I just notice.
• 37:56
  I'm just super curious when it comes to my body.
• 37:59
  So for the last two days I've had a headache and really sore neck, and I'm like, "Oh, it's not going away." And then I thought, "Mm, okay.
• 38:07
  So what am I not, what am I not seeing here?" I'm bracing, I'm holding a lot, and I realize that I actually need to slow down a little bit.
• 38:15
  So I've got a big engine, manifesting generator, can go, go, go.
• 38:20
  But sometimes the hardest boundaries to hold are the boundaries with self, which are that I need to make sure that I cultivate time and space and slowness so that my engine is working at best capacity and going towards the right things.
• 38:35
  Because I have many times in my life, as I'm sure many of your listeners have, get great ideas and then work, work, work, and then burn out.
• 38:42
  And then you've got to really pick yourself up from a much lower point than if you just held stronger boundaries with yourself and understood that I'm not losing anything by slowing down.
• 38:52
  I'm actually creating a really strong benchmark to leap from again.
• 38:57
  Yes.
• 38:58
  I love that.
• 38:59
  I love that so much.
• 39:00
  I think that's the reminder that so many of us need, and all the conversation we've had today around medicine, energy, finding ourselves- Embodiment, boundary work, all of that leads back to a calm and pristine nervous system.
• 39:22
  It really does.
• 39:23
  Even manifesting abundance and things like that, it all … It's how much capacity does your nervous system hold?
• 39:30
  Yes.
• 39:30
  And the question I've asked myself is, especially working with you, 'cause I'm so excited and I can see, I can see the vistas of where this can go, is, is my nervous system ready to hold that?
• 39:41
  Is that matching my highest vision?
• 39:43
  Yes.
• 39:45
  And that's, I think that's constantly going to be the work as we keep aligning to that North Star.
• 39:53
  You know, like, there have been moments where I'm just like that massive time that I've created all of this, it's done its job now.
• 40:01
  I need to cull this from my product suite.
• 40:03
  Yeah.
• 40:03
  I need to change my prices.
• 40:05
  I need to call in different types of clients.
• 40:08
  And that's just seasonal alignment, isn't it?
• 40:11
  It's just like, okay, well, kind of went over here, now we're sort of course-correcting, or this is actually- feels so good.
• 40:19
  How do we just amplify this part, even if it doesn't make sense?
• 40:22
  It's like when, you know, 18 months ago when I switched the model up to low ticket, I'm like, "It doesn't make sense to amplify low ticket." Like, what are you talking about, universe?
• 40:32
  Monetarily, it ain't working out on paper.
• 40:36
  Like, what are you t- what are you asking me to do?
• 40:39
  But everything in my body was green light, green light, green light, ease and flow, excitement, like this like butterflies in my belly, and I was like, "Go away." Just like, it has to be a high ticket.
• 40:50
  Like, I'm … I was about to relaunch my big mastermind again, and, and then when I thought about launching Amplify again, it was like, ugh, like, it just literally felt so gross, which I've never felt before.
• 41:01
  Mm-hmm.
• 41:02
  And so I was like, oh, this is… Everything you've shared today, I can fully pick moments in my career and life where I'm like, "That is so true," and I wish I had you prior to translate this for me, you know?
• 41:19
  So I'm so grateful for you, babe, for coming onto the podcast and bringing this light and awareness and safety to explore this topic.
• 41:30
  I appreciate it so much.
• 41:32
  But where can we go to dive deeper in with you?
• 41:36
  Are you back taking on clients yet, or is it like at a future date?
• 41:42
  Give us the little lay of the land.
• 41:44
  Yes.
• 41:45
  I am, I am back.
• 41:46
  So I have the- where you can find me, so my website is alexandraeden.com.
• 41:51
  That's the home of everything.
• 41:53
  And I am opening up my Embodied Boundaries cohort, which is a six-week live intensive.
• 41:59
  It's ch- I would say, the best work I've ever done.
• 42:02
  It makes me so excited, it's ridiculous, and it takes you through everything, um, somatic family, internal systems, all sorts of stuff.
• 42:09
  It's basically me pulling from all my modalities and putting together this bomb-ass, robust program with a lot of one-to-one support.
• 42:18
  Um, and then Instagram,@thealexandraeden.
• 42:21
  That's me.
• 42:22
  It's probably where I post most things.
• 42:25
  Um, I'm on LinkedIn a bit, but can't really do a lot there.
• 42:29
  I just wanted to say one thing that really peaked something inside me.
• 42:33
  When you said that dragging feeling about healing- Yes.
• 42:38
  Yes… I just, what I try and, and a dentist appointment, right?
• 42:45
  What I'm really trying to, to convey, especially over socials, is yes, it can be hard, but healing is also spending time with friends.
• 42:54
  Regulating is also joy.
• 42:56
  Like, it's fun, it's play.
• 42:58
  One thing that's so big in my world is somatic movement.
• 43:01
  It's dancing.
• 43:03
  So if I can leave anybody with anything, it's when is the last time that you danced?
• 43:08
  Not choreographed '90s dancing, which we all love from time to time.
• 43:10
  Damn it.
• 43:11
  That's what's going on in my head.
• 43:13
  I know.
• 43:13
  I'm joking.
• 43:14
  You can still drop it down.
• 43:15
  It's part of it.
• 43:16
  But when is the last time that you let your body move freely?
• 43:20
  Mm.
• 43:22
  It's like listening to an amazing song, even at the gym, we know that, like, tingly feeling that you get.
• 43:27
  You seem to just be able to run an extra couple of, couple of kilometers, right?
• 43:32
  Yes.
• 43:32
  You can bring that into your day just with dance and joy and laughter.
• 43:36
  Like, listen to something hilarious or, you know, watch something that, I don't know, makes you, makes your heart swell.
• 43:43
  Those things are also regulation.
• 43:45
  It's not always just the deep, dark digging in the, digging in the shadows.
• 43:50
  So I just, I want to leave everybody with that.
• 43:52
  It can be fun.
• 43:53
  Let's not forget the fun.
• 43:54
  I love that we're ending on this note.
• 43:56
  Yes.
• 43:57
  Yes.
• 43:58
  And it brings so much joy.
• 43:59
  My son, he bursts out into random dances around the house, and then we're like, "Drop everything. Dance break," and then we just da- It's hilarious, but that's what, why I've got this smile on my face because it's uncanny the timing of him sometimes where he just like will walk into the office and be like doing this silly dance.
• 44:18
  And I'm like, "All right. That's it. We're, we're cranking up some music and we're going for it." And it shifts everything instantly, or it amplifies the good shit instantly, you know?
• 44:28
  So, oh, what a beautiful note to end on, honestly.
• 44:32
  Thank you so much for having me.
• 44:33
  I am obsessed with you and your podcast, and just, yeah, I've, I've binged your podcast.
• 44:38
  It's amazing.
• 44:39
  I love it.
• 44:39
  So thank you so much.
• 44:41
  Such an honor to be here.
• 44:42
  I'm so happy.
• 44:43
  Thank you.
• 44:43
  Thank you so much as well.
• 44:45
  I know your hubby's on a walk with baby at the moment, and to have this sacred space with you when you are, like, such a on-the-go gal, and you literally a new mom, it means the world.
• 44:55
  So thank you, Miss Alex, for everything.
• 44:58
  And you guys, I'm gonna leave all of Alex's links in the show notes below.
• 45:02
  Please give her a follow.
• 45:03
  She just has the most amazing energy, as you probably already heard, and then now you can go and watch all the reels.
• 45:09
  The program, the six-week program sounds unbelievably, incredibly healing and transformative.
• 45:15
  So go and check that out as well, which I'll also link.
• 45:18
  And in the meantime, guys, have an amazing rest of your day in flow, and I will see you all next week.
• 45:24
  Bye, everyone.
• 45:25
  Thanks, Alex.
• 45:25
  Bye.