Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Living In An Environment That Is Toxic/Dysregulates You: WWLD

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Living In An Environment That Is Toxic/Dysregulates You: WWLD · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Live Well Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Liv, an naturopathic doctor, a mentor, energy healer, a cost creator, intuitive, energetic business mentor, and honestly, so much more.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I help you heal on a physical and emotional level so that you can feel delicious in your health, body, relationships, career, and a bank account.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: This show is for those of you who are looking to go beyond the basic wellness stuff, cut out the BS and really create a life that you love.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about health, trauma healing, energetics, feminine energy, wealth, and magnetism so that you can live a life that feels delicious.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: In these episodes, we will have an honest conversation without the fluffy bullshit.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: You walk away with all of the insights, tools, and tips to truly live your best life, mind, body, and soul.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking to live well, you are in the right place.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: For ways to work with me, visit keepupwithlive.com and follow me on Instagram at keep up with live for more.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get into the show.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, welcome back to another episode of the Live Well Podcast.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Very excited, as always, to be here today.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like we have such a beautiful podcast family that just I know so many of you guys like listen every week.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: I can I can see it in the stats, like the consistency.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just so good to see all of you guys showing up for yourselves, learning, expanding.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: It brings me so much joy.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I'm on this planet.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: So we have this new segment that we are doing called What Would Live Do?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's essentially what would live or what would Dr.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Live do, depending on if your questions are health-related, more like life-related, will bring in different aspects of myself.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: And if you would like to submit your what would live do, we're gonna leave the link for that down below where you can submit your questions anonymously.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I will see your name, but obviously your name won't be shared on here.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then I will answer it.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And what I like about these episodes is that they're gonna serve everyone.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: So they're gonna be learnings that are very like common things.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I also tend to see common things, which is great.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna learn and you're gonna walk away knowing what you would do, so or what I would do so I can help you.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: That being said, we are first episode, first iteration of what would live do.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And this one is all about regulating your nervous system while you're in the toxic environment or the environment that made you sick.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to read actually, there were two of these that were very much like this.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just going to read them out.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I would personally love to know how to start healing while still living in the environment that caused the trauma in the first place.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Not after things have happened and you're starting to heal.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: I mean in real time while you're still living in the situation that caused Sash is causing the trauma.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Hope that makes sense.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then the second one was sometimes my nervous system gets jolted by event and I can use more somatic healing than I'm doing to help alleviate the stress.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: But my magic question is when will my nervous system stop getting jolted so easily?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Is yeah, that was her.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: That was it.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: So let us dive into what I would do if I was living in the environment or the toxic thing that was just regulating my nervous system.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, let me say I have definitely been there.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I've lived in the environment that made me sick, and kudos to you.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's tough, but it doesn't mean it's impossible.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: One thing I will say is obviously if we can get you out of that environment, I always like to think it's not a matter of resources, it's a matter of resourcefulness.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not my quote, that's from Tony Robbins.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So is there like, is there any way we can get you out of that environment?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Andor can we like reduce your exposure to that environment?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but we're gonna dive into what to do.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: But I really hope like let's try to find a way that we can get you out of it because it's just gonna make it definitely harder.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: But the number one thing I'm gonna say is let's set boundaries.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I would 100% set boundaries whether you have like a safe space in, I'm assuming it's at home.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um maybe it's at work.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: This will work for work or home.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you have a cubicle, an office, a space at work that is your safe space that can provide kind of that calmer nervous system area for you and focus on making that area your calm space.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: For example, when I lived in a toxic environment, I my room was like my safe haven.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: So did I spend a lot of time in my room?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Did I basically try to avoid leaving my room until I heard people, you know, go to bed or not home anymore?
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: 1,000%.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Did I try to stay in my room in the morning until my mom left?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: 1000%.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: So where can you like set boundaries and have the safe haven that is your room?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if it's um you didn't give me as much context in this story.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not sure if it's like a work scenario or if it's a home scenario.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, guys, if you do submit a question, if you can give me the more detail the better, then I can help the most.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: If it's at home and I'm maybe it's with a husband or with a partner, I'm hoping there's like an area you can give yourself.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Is there like a nook in the living room?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a little, I don't know, den area?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Is there some place that can be your space and or where can we set boundaries so that even in the dysregulated environment, you're not exposed to it as much?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's number one thing I will say.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, or the second thing, is I would start looking at changing the meaning you give things, right?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because as Tony Robbins says, this is stuff that I didn't know back then, stuff that I know now.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's showing you things that need to be healed and cleared, right?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And oftentimes when we heal those parts of us, we don't actually react in the same way that we did react in a way that dysregulated us before.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: So, in the way that my mom used to dysregulate me five years ago, she doesn't dysregulate me to the extent anymore.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like it would take a lot for her to dysregulate me, right?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: But before then, it was like every little thing was just like constantly adding up, right?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, my question to you is where can we change the meaning you give things by learning what your, and I'll say lesson because it's not like your fault or anything, but what what do you need to rise into?
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: What do you need to, is it setting boundaries?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Is it whatever it is?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: What is it's challenging you to heal or work on so that it doesn't dysregulate you as much?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And chances are the reason it's dysregulating you, like in the situation, because I know you were saying in real time, instead of, I like to say, instead of trying to like calm you down from being dysregulated, why don't we just stop you from getting dysregulated?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: So let's look at the things that are dysregulating you, why they're dysregulating you, what are you making it mean?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a little?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's always a little girl.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: I say, is there a little girl?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: 99.9% of the time, it's something that happened before you're four.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: So is there a little girl in there that needs healing, support, etc.?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because it is mirroring something back to you and teaching you, right?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so while it's useful to obviously come back to a state of calm after you've been dysregulated, if we can stop you from, like I said, getting dysregulated, that's gonna be best in that environment because you will then be so resilient and like untriggerable in this environment that it's going to be even better and you're gonna be like so strong, right?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when I helped my client last week not be scared flying on airplanes.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Easily she could not have it, like she could just not take a flight and then she wouldn't have anxiety, but then she couldn't travel, right?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's a lot easier to just get rid of the anxiety, and then now she enjoys, she actually enjoys plain writing, right?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so think about it like that.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: How can we get you?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: What do we need to heal, let go, give meaning to?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: What is this situation mirroring me that is making me just get disregulated in the situation?
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: So what is this reflecting back to me?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because also, if you don't necessarily address these things, you might bring this to the next situation.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to say like you're gonna manifest it again.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think about it as like a manifesting, I think about it as it is always serving you, but like it's gonna serve you a very similar scenario.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when people struggle with the same health symptoms all the time, it's because they didn't get to the root.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: They manifest the same types of relationships, the same types of men, or like, why am I always attracting these people?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I always doing this?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just because you haven't gotten to the root of what you need to learn so that you can rise above and break through it, right?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to think about what message is your brain getting and what is triggering you in this scenario.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because you mentioned in real time.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: So in real time, what message is your brain getting?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: What is it triggering you?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Is it it's not safe?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Is it I'm gonna die?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: What is it?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever's going on.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and really sit with all right, my brain is getting this message.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's gonna be a little girl who's first felt that message, right?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been going back to her, healing her.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's really going to allow everything to kind of be more regulated.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: A couple of strategies I want to mention.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we dive deeper into this into regulate, which if you haven't joined my like regulate masterclass, it is$188.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: And people's HRB, if you don't know, HRB is a measure of how regulated your nervous system is, have doubled in like less than two weeks, which is insane.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: So that's gonna go really into depth, but the strategies and I teach a lot of the the breath work in there in order to regulate your nervous system.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I won't go into that here.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: But your breath is the most powerful thing that can change your nervous system in the moment, right?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we get dysregulated, our breath kind of shortens.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And when our breath shortens, everything else kind of dysregulates as a ripple effect, like a domino effect.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: So you want to be the most control of your breath.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of like getting the shallow lung breathing, we want to focus on deep belly breaths, grounding breaths.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of making our breath outside of us, we want to bring it inside of us.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm also gonna say, are there any energy protection strategies you are using in terms of like wrapping your energy, keeping your energy yours versus absorbing someone else's energy?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: I always wrap up my energy, like wrap myself in a golden egg so that everything bounces off, you know, bounces off and gets sent back to them with love, bounces off and sends back to them with love.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: So even when I'm talking to my mom, it's like bounces off, sends back with love, bounces off, sends back with love.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll do that to this day so that everything it doesn't start to penetrate my energy.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Another strategy I like to use is what is called the stop sign.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And these sound small, but these were super, super helpful when I was first learning to regulate my nervous system and when I before I'd gotten to this place where I was unwavering, right?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it literally just looks like a stop sign.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: So you could be on the phone with someone, I know you're saying real time, but for example, stop sign.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: You could someone's maybe yelling in front of you, you can just have your hand like down by your side, but stop and look the stop sign is facing the back, it still stops the energy from penetrating you.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Then with the breath, right?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: What message is my brain gretting?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then giving yourself the opposite message so that your brain can start to calm down.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I would do in those situations.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, regulate's really gonna help.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to dive deeper into this, do that.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: But the most important thing is that life happens, but a dysregulated nervous system doesn't have to.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of the time, the reason we're so dysregulated is because we have a cup full of things that happened from birth until now.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: So we can deal with a lot of dysregulation in life once we free that cup, right?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Then your cup has a lot more room.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: It can hold a lot more.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: The reason we can't hold a lot more and we get dysregulated over easy things is because our cup is full and we haven't properly processed those emotions.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say start there because the number one thing that's gonna help you thrive in a potentially dysregulating or slightly toxic environment is clearing out all the past stuff.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then, like I said, changing the meaning you give things.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Stress is optional.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: So hopefully that was helpful.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions about that, let me know.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want me to answer your what would live do, we're gonna leave the link for that down below.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll also leave the link for regulate as well.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll see you guys in the next episode.