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Sex Addict - You really are not as bad as you think you are · The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast

• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sex porn love addiction is all about self-soothing to manage your emotions.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: It got set up back in the childhood development years.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not about sex, it's not about porn.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about the repeated use to set up the physiology to crave those dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, self-manufactured drugs in the body.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's impacting women, men, children, age 10 to 75 across all the age ranges, the sexes, the cultures, the professions.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: It increased exponentially during COVID lockdown and impacting so many lives.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: The Kairos Center has created the first online comprehensive sex porn love addiction.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's a video on demand recovery program which you can access from anywhere in the world and begin to see identifiable changes just within six weeks of beginning this weekly program.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Kairos means your appointed time.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't it your time to reclaim your life?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Bring colour back to life without shame.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Click the link below and begin your journey.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: You owe it to yourself and to others.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: We are continuing to look at better understanding you.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: This next article is.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: If we are not compassionate enough, it probably means we're not going to be compassionate with other people as much either.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Our children, our parents, our spouse, our partner, husband, wife.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Let's learn to become more self-compassionate with ourselves.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so write down those three things that you like about yourself and that you did that day.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: In the morning, read the list as you get out of bed.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: First thing out of bed.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Do that for thirty days.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Consistently.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: A minimum of thirty days.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Do it consistently.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: You might start to learn something about you.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: You might actually start to like yourself and realize your brain has consistently gone to the cup.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: The glass is half empty rather than being half full.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Turn it around.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Become more self-compassionate.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Become much more loving.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Remember you gotta learn to love yourself first before you can present you to somebody else.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Before you can genuinely say I love somebody else.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: It starts with loving yourself.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: The things that you write down do not need to be big things, and I want to stress that.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: They can be simple.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't lose my temper in the traffic today, as I normally would.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: I made an effort to do a little bit of exercise.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: I walked up the stairs instead of taking the lift.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: For someone who is in low mood depressed, this activity may feel like a lot of effort.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Ah.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Not another one to be added to my list.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, if you can mount the energy, this is the sort of thing that turns it around in your life.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Causes things like stress, anxiety to start to recede little by little.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Everything about my work with you is about small incremental steps on a journey to get you to where you want to get to, you need to get to.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: It is not about big leaps.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Where there are big leaps, big leaps also get undone.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Small, bite-sized, consistent, incremental changes bit by bit to get you to where you want to go, need to go.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Research has shown that people with depression have what is referred to as an attentional bias for negative self-relevant materials.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: They also have impaired attention control, which means once a negative schema, way of behaving, repeated way of behaving pattern is activated, they tend to ruminate on it and have difficulty disengaging and shifting their attention to something else.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Consequently, their sustained negative effort.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Essentially, people with depression generally spend a good deal of time thinking about what they don't like about themselves, and they have a hard time stopping that negative rumination.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: The more time you spend thinking about something, the more active it becomes in your mental space.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: You see, negative thinking is meditation.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's consistently thinking about something that is negative.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: It is meditation, and it becomes easier to keep on keeping on thinking about the negative and ruminating about the negative.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: It is just a pattern, a repeated pattern that just gets set up in your life, becomes a neural pathway, way of thinking.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And your thinking is always going to lead to your behavior.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: The CBT, the cognitive.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: What is going on in my thinking, and I'm ruminating on, thinking about, pondering on, reflecting on on a regular basis through the day is absolutely going to become the behavior that I go on to do.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: My thinking will lead to my behaviour practices.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about changing your thinking.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you can change your thinking, you can change your life.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's pretty big.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Send me a message.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's time to get your relationship back onto a better footing for your future.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do some work without shame and bring colour back to life.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Send the email, send the message to me, Gary McFarlane at the Chiral Center.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And let's begin to reclaim your quality of life.