Latest / Wanzology / Feeling Down? Go Volunteer!
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- Feelin Down? Go Volunteer Da, da, da, da, da, da. Da, da, da, da, da. Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon? Sorry, I was having a flashback there. Welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode of WANZOLOGY!! I am your host, The Wanz, coming at you live and direct from the upper left-hand corner of the country. How are you? Are you good? I hope you and yours are successfully navigating the back to school maze and leaves starting to change and all the things that we just know and love about living in this world. Now that summer's over, it's really time to get back to business, isn't it? I, this last weekend, was asked to volunteer for a friend of mine's, uh, camp that he had for his, uh, nonprofit, and it was all about getting kids to stay in motion, run around, go to the park, do something, ride a bicycle. So we were at this park. There was a balloon tunnel, there was a tug of war, there was more than a few hula hoops and games associated with those hula hoops, and I was just kinda standing around looking at this going, "This is awesome that someone would take the time to mess with, kinda pass something on to the next generation."!! What was really interesting, they didn't know, meaning the kids, they did not know who I was, and all these kids are, like, between 11 and 15 maybe, 11 and 15. Once they figured out who I was, then it got really, really interesting. They weren't sure whether they could just come up and talk to me, like they had been earlier. I sang a little Wanz version of Thrift Shop, and they were, like, stunned and amazed and, like, a half an hour after I sang it, news got around that I was ‘that guy’, which I always find amusing. So then it became, "What do you think about this? What do you think about that?" Parents asking me, "How do you deal with this?" And I had a long talk with a DJ about raising kids and guiding young minds and things like that. I say all that to say this. When you're feeling down, when you're feeling useless, when you're feeling, how you say, no good to anybody, I would suggest you find somewhere and some way to volunteer your time. And it doesn't have to be a lot of time, it can just be an hour. But there is just something about being around people, even if you're not doing what they're doing, but just being around them, helping them do what they're doing, yeah, it feels really, really good. I know that when I got to the park to actually start this thing, I really didn't know what was gonna happen. I didn't know how it was gonna be used. I didn't know anything. I just hung out and paid attention and tried to make friends like I do. But man, when I left, I felt huge. I felt really big. I felt like my life mattered because I have lived it and had a chance to share some of it with another person, especially a young person. I remember during the tour days, I'd go out before every show and just walk the line of kids that were waiting. Sometimes there was only like six or seven, sometimes there was hundreds. But it always got bigger throughout the day. Start really early in the morning and then throughout the day, they just... It's just sitting there waiting for the venue to open so they could come in and see their favorite artist. And I had never seen anything like that before. Now, maybe I'm just out of touch, but that's not surprising. I mean, I'm an old guy. When I would talk to the kids that were waiting in line, it was very interesting how they viewed their existence in their world. They viewed themselves as being very, very, very small in their world. More questions, I always ask more questions. I started to find a pattern, and that pattern was because they're so young, or I should say so much younger than others, they feel useless, incapable, and that makes them unsure. I don't know about you, but for an adult, that's very familiar territory for me, not being sure. Imposter syndrome. Are you just hiding in the shadows being a wallflower because you don't want anyone to notice you? You might have to engage with them, and who knows what they might think, they may judge you, and you don't want that. And the more I talked to these kids waiting in line for the concerts, I saw parallels between what they were feeling and what I was feeling and that feeling is fear Now, every time that I feel fearful, I don't have the opportunity to volunteer or be of service. But what I have is a memory. I have what one of my psychologists used to call evidence. I have evidence that volunteering my time, helping somebody else, even if it's just being with somebody else for a cup of coffee or tea or a pop or who knows what else, just sharing that time with another person helped me feel better. You know I have a song called "Go Where the Love Is." You can find "Go Where the Love Is" on all the streaming platforms. Just look up W-A-N-Z and, uh, look for "Go Where the Love Is." You'll notice it'll be, like, peach colored and have a little heart on it. The reason that I think about that song is because the second verse is very interesting to me, and it goes, "Busted and broken. You've given up hoping. Just wanna figure out how you got put down again. Spent all that time chasing a mirage in the wasteland. Now you're repeating the same old story to the same one who's always listened." And what that means is you're out there trying to get the person of your dreams, whoever they may be, and it's not going so good. You keep throwing yourself at this person, and you don't seem to be sparking their attention in a way that would lead to the deepening of a friendship or whatever. Well, that person that you tell all these adventures to, who are they? Probably your bestie, right? Besties know all the secrets. Besties know how to hold you accountable as well as pick you up when you're down. Why couldn't you do those same things to, say, a person at an assisted living facility? Or maybe at an elementary school? Or maybe even a high school, junior high, middle school? What about volunteering your time at a college for whatever you really like to do? If it were me, it'd be, I'd like to volunteer my time to help out the choir director and help him get from A to B and just give him a hand, give them a hand. I have a history of working with kids. I mean, I started mentoring one kid when he was nine years old, and he's 20 now. His life is so f- on track, it's frightening. But all I was was there for his mom when his mom got confused, and I just spent an hour a week with him. We'd play basketball. I would ask him about school, and he would tell me about people at school, and then I would ask him questions about what he thought, not what he knew, but what he thought. And over the months and then years, that communication line is bonded to a point where all of a sudden his mom is messaging me and they've had a talk, he and his mom, and she doesn't know what to do. I told her what my experience has told me. Ask questions. Ask questions. When you ask questions and another person doesn't dodge the answer, you both learn something. You get the answer to whatever your question was, and they get the confidence that their experience helped somebody. Well, you can be they. You can volunteer almost anywhere, and I guarantee you, you do a little work at a food pantry, spend a little time at a Boys & Girls Club, spend a little time at an elementary school and get yourself known, you will start to see dividends quickly, because as much as you're down on yourself, if you're like me, 'cause I'm always down on myself, I feel as mediocre as mediocre can get. I'm all right. I'm not the best, I'm not the worst. I'm right there in that middle of the pack zone where everybody else is but really doesn't wanna be there. I kinda like being there. I kinda have fun being there. I think a lot of that is just because of all the other people who don't wanna be there or don't think they should be there. We are just exactly who we are. But other people will never find out who we are until we share our experience, our strengths, our opinions, our hope and dreams with somebody else. I came away with an insanely good feeling when I got done helping my friend with his little day activity with all those kids. Just watching the kids play and have fun made me feel good. I used to be a kid. I remember what that kind of excitement felt like. I used to ask, "Is this the age that girls learn how to scream? 'Cause they're screaming a lot." I always wondered when did that phase come in, and how do I, how do I stop it? Playground days back in elementary school, that's what I remember. That's what I was reminded of. Could you imagine if you were at an assisted living place and you just hung out during a meal time and just asked people how they were? "How are you? How you doing? Are you good? You look nice today. How's the...well, I won't ask how the food is.” My point is that putting yourself in a position of conversation with a stranger is a very, very, very interesting thing. When you do it right, you come away with something more than an acquaintance. Sometimes you come away with a new best friend or at least someone that would fit in your circle. But all of it comes from you sharing you with somebody else. Volunteering your time, sharing your experience, this is how you get yourself out of the hole, the hole that causes you to isolate, where your brain just tells you you're not very good at this or that. You don't look as good as. You don't talk as good as, as well as. You don't seem to fit in anywhere. Well, you fit in everywhere. You're a bloody human being. No one is ever gonna know that unless you show them and I think volunteering is probably on the top three of my things that you should do on a regular basis. The first one being breathe, because without breathing, nothing else works. The second being what is it that makes you happy? For me, it's singing, right? And the third is, oh, where can I be of service? Even if it's just opening the door for somebody at the grocery store or helping them take their cart back, just little things, I feel better. Have you tried those things before? Why not? Why not If you're feeling down and in the dumps, go for a walk. Go for a walk, especially if you're near something like a Costco or a grocery store or a Home Depot, and just walk by. When people are going in, look at them, smile, and they'll smile back, and your feelings will change. I dare you to do it. I double dog dare you. Giving of yourself is the best ointment to soothe the wound of loneliness. That has been my experience. I encourage you to go out and mix with the other human beings that are in your immediate vicinity. You really have no idea the benefits that you could reap. And if it doesn't work for you, man, you can find me. I am not hard to find. You find me, and you tell me why it didn't work, and I'll answer you. I really will. All right? Thanks so much, you all, for listening. I appreciate you. Give yourself, give your time. It's the most valuable thing that we all have, and it is a gift best shared. I'll talk to you later, bye!!