Latest / Willow Healing Matters Podcast / How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Critic | Natalie Saar on Gentle Self-Improvement

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How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Critic | Natalie Saar on Gentle Self-Improvement · Willow Healing Matters Podcast

0:01
Welcome to Willow Healing Matters the podcast we are so excited
0:05
to have you joining
0:06
us on this journey where we explore different ways to empower
0:09
your soul whether
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it's healing in your kitchen or all the way up in the corporate
0:14
world come with us
0:15
SPEAKER_01: as we look into different ways to heal your mind body and soul
0:20
SPEAKER_01: My virtual obsession,
0:22
SPEAKER_01: my romantic thriller,
0:23
SPEAKER_01: is now available on Amazon and other online retailers.
0:27
SPEAKER_01: This book explores the intersection of loneliness,
0:30
SPEAKER_01: love,
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and how chasing perfection through technology can lead to
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fantasy and reality
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SPEAKER_01: colliding.
0:36
SPEAKER_01: My virtual obsession out now.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: Hey everyone,
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it's Catherine Crestani with another episode of Willow Healing
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Matters and today I
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SPEAKER_01: am joined by the delightful Natalie Saar.
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She's a self-published author of eight books,
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both fiction and non-fiction.
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She's passionate about helping people follow their writing
0:56
dreams and more
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generally in helping people become their best self through
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gentle improvement
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SPEAKER_01: techniques.
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She believes that life already comes with enough challenges and
1:05
we need to learn
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how to be our own best friend and cheerleader instead of our
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biggest critic.
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SPEAKER_01: So a big welcome to the show, Natalie.
1:12
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to be here.
1:15
SPEAKER_00: I love this podcast.
1:16
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
1:17
SPEAKER_01: But I want to congratulate you.
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SPEAKER_01: Eight books self-published.
1:21
SPEAKER_01: It's no mean feat from someone.
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SPEAKER_01: I've done two books,
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SPEAKER_01: but I fully understand that each book is a completely different process,
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SPEAKER_01: right?
1:28
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: And I've got like a couple different genres and stuff like that.
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SPEAKER_00: I like I just am a storyteller at heart.
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SPEAKER_00: I can't help it.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: And so I just like to tell stories.
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SPEAKER_00: So I started telling thrillers and then I moved to cozy mystery series.
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But I have two nonfiction ones and one of them is called
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Becoming 1% Better.
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SPEAKER_00: 100 Simple Tips to Get a Little Better Every Day.
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SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
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SPEAKER_00: It started as a Substack and I was like, you know what?
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SPEAKER_00: I guess I'll just turn it into a book.
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And so I just wrote more chapters and turned it into something
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that I hope helps people.
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SPEAKER_01: You know what's so funny about that?
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I just scheduled an article to talk about doing one small thing
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to step towards
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SPEAKER_01: your dreams and it's going to go out in substack.
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SPEAKER_00: I love it!
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SPEAKER_00: I love it!
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I think it's such a powerful message like I I don't know I very
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much am an
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overachiever and so for me I have tried like all of the ways of
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self-development
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like kind of just as like personal challenges I talk about this
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story where I am in
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some of one of the chapters where I was like trying to find
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balance in my life and
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I like tried to bucket things like family friends projects work
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health wellness and
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SPEAKER_00: it was like
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The buckets were never balanced and I just felt like I was
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failing at everything.
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SPEAKER_00: And then it was about that time when I was like, what if I just do 1%?
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SPEAKER_00: Like I can do 1% every day.
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SPEAKER_00: And so that's kind of how I started.
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SPEAKER_00: And then I learned it's like a real concept that people talk about.
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But I'm glad that you wrote about it because that's some of the
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feedback I've
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gotten from the book and the Substack is that it's just so much
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easier to think of
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SPEAKER_00: things in smaller increments.
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Yeah and it's that whole thing that we overestimate what we can
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do in a day and
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underestimate what we can do in a year and I know as someone
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that used to run
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businesses and have to multitask all of my life like every
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moment because I had so
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much to do learning how to stop doing that and step out of that
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hustle push push
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push and actually give yourself the grace like do I really need
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to clean the whole
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SPEAKER_01: house today?
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no I don't how about I just do the syncs because they're
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annoying me the most you
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know like and then tomorrow I'll do a bit more and tomorrow
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I'll do a bit more and
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then I have a child counteracting every moment anyway but you
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know it's just it's
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SPEAKER_00: exactly it and like we don't know how to say
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No and we don't know like we think that if we say no or that if
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we take the time to
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rest that those are negatives like that we've taken away from
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like proactively
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working on our lives but like truly and the science continues
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to back it up more
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and more but like rest is so important and you will never be
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your best self if
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SPEAKER_00: you're not resting enough.
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um but yeah you're a hundred percent right like how many times
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are we like but I
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really wanted to clean all this stuff today like just so that I
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feel better about
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it just take the win just do the one do the sinks do the one
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thing and move on a
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hundred percent and I feel too you bring up such an important
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thing too where we we
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just you know think we we make ourselves feel guilty because we
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haven't met these
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standards that we set for ourselves and I feel that that's that
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component right
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SPEAKER_01: where that inner critic
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SPEAKER_01: just kind of comes in and it's like,
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SPEAKER_01: you know,
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SPEAKER_01: you should have done that and you should have done that.
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It's like,
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well,
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actually,
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I did do all of this today instead and that made me feel much
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better.
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SPEAKER_01: Or I really needed that nap,
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SPEAKER_01: you know,
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SPEAKER_01: and sometimes when I listen and rest and have those naps,
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SPEAKER_01: money always comes in.
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SPEAKER_01: It's so weird.
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SPEAKER_01: It would be like,
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I had a client book him while I was resting and this payment
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just appeared in my
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SPEAKER_01: account.
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SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
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SPEAKER_00: You made the space for it and it happened.
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SPEAKER_01: Exactly, exactly.
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I feel to ask Natalie,
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through this writing process,
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what inspired you to start writing?
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Did you just always know you wanted to be a writer or it just
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kind of burst as an idea?
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SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that, I've always been a writer, I've always been a storyteller.
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SPEAKER_00: Storyteller.
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SPEAKER_00: Before I could write,
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I would put on puppet shows and have my family watch me make up
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stories with little
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SPEAKER_00: stock puppets that my mom made.
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And so I've always liked telling stories or like when me and my
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siblings and our
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SPEAKER_00: friends would play,
5:37
SPEAKER_00: you know,
5:37
SPEAKER_00: like you play whatever type of game that you're playing.
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But sometimes we would like put on little shows and I would
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always be like,
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SPEAKER_00: I'm going to be the narrator.
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SPEAKER_00: Like I don't want to be any characters.
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SPEAKER_00: I just want to be the narrator.
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SPEAKER_00: And so I just always loved it.
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SPEAKER_00: And then
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SPEAKER_00: Around like 2011,
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SPEAKER_00: 2012,
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that's when like KDP and CreateSpace were becoming more
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accessible to people.
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SPEAKER_00: They were still like pretty cumbersome, but it was, you could do it.
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SPEAKER_00: And it was when self-publishing started like
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I won't say like taking off but just people were becoming more
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aware of it as an
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option and so I just thought to myself like I'm just gonna
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write a book I have a
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billion tiny stories and I have already made peace with the
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fact that I will like
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run out of time in my life like I will die with stories still
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in my head that I
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didn't have time to write I was like I gotta just get going and
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so I did and it's
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just been so rewarding and I don't want to get I keep meaning
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to say this too I
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SPEAKER_00: don't want to get too far away from it I love what you said about how
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SPEAKER_00: We don't think about how much progress we actually make in a year,
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SPEAKER_00: like we're so focused on today.
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SPEAKER_00: That's something I love to tell people who are wanting to write a book,
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SPEAKER_00: like a standard book,
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SPEAKER_00: let's call it 60,000 words.
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SPEAKER_00: That's kind of the length we're all used to.
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if you just write 200 words a day which you can write in a
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notes app you can write
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while you're waiting for your kids in line for pickup you could
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write it it takes
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five to ten minutes to write 200 words and you'll have a book
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in a year you'll have
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a 60,000 word book in a year if you just do that you know like
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I feel like we're
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all waiting for something for five or like you're waiting for
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your tea or whatever
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SPEAKER_00: um yeah I just I think that's so important that people like
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SPEAKER_00: or reinforce that little things add up.
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SPEAKER_01: I wrote my novel writing 15 minutes a day.
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SPEAKER_01: There's no!
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SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's how I did it.
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SPEAKER_01: It ended up being 90,000 words.
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And by the time I harshly edited it and got rid of the fluff,
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it ended up being about 60.
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SPEAKER_01: Exactly like you said.
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SPEAKER_01: Processed bill for you.
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It became such a good habit that if I went to bed and hadn't
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done my 15 minutes,
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SPEAKER_01: I would wake up and go do my 15 minutes.
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SPEAKER_01: Or if I knew I was really busy,
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SPEAKER_01: I actually put voice to text on in my car whilst I was driving to
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SPEAKER_01: and would just say the story because I was on boring freeway.
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SPEAKER_01: I just put cruise control on and just,
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SPEAKER_01: you know,
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SPEAKER_01: the things I used to do while I was driving to work as funny as.
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SPEAKER_01: But anyway, but, you know, and I would do it that way.
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Or if I wasn't feeling creative and I feel like this is
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sometimes where writers
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SPEAKER_01: sometimes beat themselves up,
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SPEAKER_01: right?
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SPEAKER_01: If I wasn't feeling creative or feeling the words flowing through me,
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I will just use that to go back and edit and make sure things
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were like aligning it
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and moving together so I love that you brought up 200 words and
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it's not a lot it's
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the same right it's just it's I call it a self-commitment
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practice because you're
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actually honoring something you want to do for yourself every
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day I like that
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that's a great phrase I'm going to start using that in my own
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life because I mean
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SPEAKER_00: that is what it is right like
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that's something that I've been working on in my personal life
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a lot lately is like
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if I want certain changes to happen in my life they don't
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happen unless I commit to
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them and I have to commit to them for myself I can't commit to
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them for other
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reasons and so I like that phrase a lot yeah um I actually
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wrote an article about
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SPEAKER_01: it and I said stuff self-love we need to self-commit because yeah
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SPEAKER_01: Because self-love is a moment, right?
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SPEAKER_01: Like it's a moment of showing yourself love,
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SPEAKER_01: whereas committing to yourself is actually saying,
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SPEAKER_01: I'm worth it.
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I'm going to say yes to me and create that space for me and
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allow that to flow
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SPEAKER_01: through,
9:12
SPEAKER_01: you know,
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SPEAKER_01: and I'm very big on picking things.
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a theme for each month so last month my theme was I'm going to
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promote the crap out
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of my book I'm like I'm going to show up on Instagram every day
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and I'm promoting
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I'm going to go on all these podcasts and I did you know and so
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and then it got to
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the end of the month and I'm like all right I'm going to take a
9:30
couple of days I
9:31
just need to reset because that was full on and then this month
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I am focusing on
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clients so I did and I've got all these new clients so it's
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just interesting how
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SPEAKER_01: Because it's that whole universal law, right?
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SPEAKER_01: Where your attention goes, the energy flows.
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SPEAKER_01: So you don't have to try and focus on everything.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because when you choose something to focus on,
9:50
SPEAKER_01: things just work themselves out in the background.
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SPEAKER_01: Like you said with that buckets, right?
9:54
SPEAKER_01: You were trying to put everyone in buckets.
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SPEAKER_01: But when you just choose to focus on one thing and doing 1% better,
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SPEAKER_01: then all of a sudden everything else improved as well.
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And you're like,
10:03
but I didn't do anything with that because it's just that
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shifts happen in you.
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SPEAKER_00: I love that.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: I love that so much.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: I think it's there's like a concept that I'm also working on.
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SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've worked on it for a long time.
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SPEAKER_00: It goes along with the commitment.
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SPEAKER_00: I live on the West Coast in the United States.
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SPEAKER_00: We obviously have one of the later time zones.
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SPEAKER_00: When I've had jobs where I worked with people on the East Coast,
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SPEAKER_00: sometimes you'll have meetings at 5 a.m.,
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SPEAKER_00: 6 a.m.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: my time.
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SPEAKER_00: If it's my job, I show up to those meetings.
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SPEAKER_00: For some reason,
10:38
SPEAKER_00: I really struggle to make a 5 a.m.
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SPEAKER_00: appointment with myself and keep it every day.
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Even though I know that what I would be working on at 5am is
10:48
impactful for the rest
10:49
SPEAKER_00: of my life,
10:50
SPEAKER_00: but it's that self-commitment,
10:51
SPEAKER_00: right?
10:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, why is it so hard to do the things to commit to ourselves?
10:56
SPEAKER_00: And like,
10:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm a night owl,
10:58
SPEAKER_00: like,
10:58
SPEAKER_00: I don't enjoy a 5am meeting,
11:00
SPEAKER_00: but it's just kind of the principle of the thing.
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SPEAKER_00: It's like, if I can't do it at 5am,
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can I find another time where I like make a meeting with myself
11:08
and I show up for
11:09
it for whatever the thing is that I wanted to work on in that
11:12
time but yeah the
11:13
commitment's so important yeah I find putting an appointment
11:17
with myself in my
11:18
diary I had to actually start doing that I have a money date
11:21
where I actually date
11:22
my little money honey and I go all right let's have a
11:26
conversation here and I had
11:27
another guest on the show many many episodes ago and she said
11:31
she puts in her diary
11:32
SPEAKER_01: um
11:33
receiving miracles so she'll block out two hours of the day
11:36
where she just allows
11:37
herself to receive whatever's meant to flow into her life and
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she doesn't put
11:41
appointments or anything there yeah and I was like it's so true
11:45
because we're so
11:46
SPEAKER_01: busy on pushing pushing pushing and like
11:48
I tried the 5am thing I did it for ages like I did the whole
11:51
5am club and getting
11:53
up at 5am and don't get me wrong I got a lot done but I was
11:56
tired I was really
11:58
tired and some days I do get up like at 4am 3am 2am because I
12:03
have commitments in
12:04
America too so I understand from the flip side of that where
12:07
it's what it's like
12:08
especially when daylight savings disappears here and then
12:11
starts over there and
12:13
Everything Else but exactly like you said you show up because
12:16
you've made that
12:17
commitment so why don't we show up for ourselves like that's
12:21
comes back to that
12:22
bigger question and that if you can learn how to answer that
12:25
question then you'll
12:26
SPEAKER_01: create some really powerful changes in your life.
12:28
It's true I feel like you know to the point you're making like
12:31
even if you just do
12:32
it just start out by doing it like one day like that's what we
12:36
struggle with too
12:37
right with like addicts they do one day at a time so I feel
12:42
like that obviously is
12:43
SPEAKER_00: If that's what you have to do for the hardest things in your life,
12:46
SPEAKER_00: then slightly easier things,
12:48
SPEAKER_00: just adopt it as well and it'll just make it gentler.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: The more that we do things that feel hard,
12:54
there's a difference between something feeling hard because
12:56
it's a challenge and
12:57
SPEAKER_00: feeling hard.
12:58
SPEAKER_00: And that's good for you,
12:59
but you'll know if you're lifting too much weight and that's
13:02
not good for you
13:03
SPEAKER_00: anymore.
13:28
I like to use the example of do you like that activity and do
13:32
that activity when
13:33
SPEAKER_01: you're not exhausted?
13:34
SPEAKER_01: So for example, right?
13:36
I'll bring up the sink again my husband has this habit and he
13:39
knows he has this
13:39
habit but he will always leave one thing in the sink we don't
13:43
know why he does it
13:44
he just does it don't know why he just does and he's done it
13:47
for as long as I know
13:48
him and I'm like what is that about anyway that's not my
13:50
journey if I'm not tired I
13:52
just have a laugh about it and then I'll finish it and put in
13:55
the dishwasher or
13:56
wash it up or whatever and go oh my goodness typical him you
13:59
know but if I'm
14:01
SPEAKER_01: exhausted and tired then I'm like
14:04
Oh why do I have to do this and I don't want to do this and you
14:07
know why is this so
14:08
hard and then you catch yourself and you're like oh no it's
14:11
just because I'm really
14:12
tired and I just I'm just going to put that in the dishwasher
14:14
and I'm going to walk
14:15
and go to bed you know but at the same time knowing your own
14:18
emotional state can be
14:19
SPEAKER_01: really powerful too right
14:21
yeah it is and like knowing what you need for yourself versus
14:26
like what I don't
14:27
know maybe like external forces tell you that you need you know
14:30
like how I was
14:31
talking about it earlier obviously it's a theme in my life so I
14:33
think about it
14:34
often but like I need to rest like my brain is a very busy
14:38
place all the time it's
14:40
I do I meditate like I do all the things to calm it down I do
14:43
yoga nidra I do all
14:45
that and it all helps those are things where I have to stop and
14:49
do them and so I
14:50
have to like let myself have that permission to do it because
14:53
otherwise I am I'm
14:55
I'm not the best version of myself at all I'm not helpful to me
14:59
or anybody else in
15:00
the ways I could be if I would just be like you know what I'm
15:03
just gonna do this
15:04
and move on yeah and so often too when we try and push in those
15:07
moments as well
15:08
right is where we get that resistance I know for me like if I
15:11
try and push myself
15:12
to write and I'm not in the mindset I'm gonna get nothing done
15:16
in 20 minutes
15:17
whereas today because I was inspired in 20 minutes I think I
15:20
wrote two articles and
15:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm like
15:22
SPEAKER_01: Wow, that was amazing.
15:23
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: All I had to do was go for a walk.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: But it's like, you know, take advantage of these things too.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: Like if you have a Substack, you can use the schedule button.
15:35
SPEAKER_01: So you can do lots of writing.
15:37
SPEAKER_01: You don't have to release it all in one go.
15:39
SPEAKER_01: You just know it's there and it's done out of your head.
15:42
you know however that looks but the the question that keeps
15:45
popping in my head
15:46
Natalie is so for those who are I'm happy to weigh in on this
15:49
too but for those who
15:50
are curious about the self-publishing journey what are some
15:53
things to go in knowing
15:56
rather than discovering them later so for example for me I
15:59
learned the importance
16:00
of not clicking that button for extra distribution on Amazon
16:05
because then it takes
16:06
away your rights to put it on your website and everything else
16:09
so please feel free
16:11
SPEAKER_01: if there's any other tips
16:12
SPEAKER_00: That's a great one.
16:13
I started a website called theindieauthors.com to like try and
16:17
help aggregate resources.
16:19
It has been slow going because I've been publishing like two to
16:23
three books a year
16:24
SPEAKER_00: since I started it.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: And so I just don't have a lot of bandwidth to get everything done.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: But I started it to answer this question and to help writers.
16:31
And so literally just today I finished like mapping out my
16:34
publishing schedule for
16:36
SPEAKER_00: the rest of the year.
16:37
more things are coming by the time this airs more things will
16:40
come more things will
16:41
be on there um anyways I think the thing that for me kind of
16:46
similar to yours that
16:48
SPEAKER_00: is so important for people to know is um it's the money stuff
16:53
People don't want to self-publish because they feel like it's
16:56
too expensive.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: I don't have the money to do it.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: It can be expensive.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: I do know people who have spent tens of thousands of dollars on stuff.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: There's different packages you could get from places.
17:08
and I think if you have no experience writing at all you just
17:11
have like a story in
17:12
your heart and you want to get it out there and you need some
17:15
help those are great
17:16
options I do have friends that have done that route and they
17:20
are so happy that they
17:21
SPEAKER_00: went that route I think for a lot of people though if you're just like a
17:25
storyteller and you're like I really want to write this story I
17:28
have no money I
17:29
don't know what to do there's so many I've written about this
17:31
before I'll keep
17:32
SPEAKER_00: writing about it because I think you know
17:35
the more opportunity for people who are searching for this
17:38
information to find it
17:39
SPEAKER_00: the better but
17:41
SPEAKER_00: I published my first book with $0 and it's totally possible to do that.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: When I check on Amazon to see how many reads I have and things like that,
17:52
SPEAKER_00: the things that I get the most reads on,
17:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm not running ads on.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking making $10 a month here.
18:00
SPEAKER_00: We're not breaking any records.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm not doing anything.
18:04
You get them out there and then the right people find them at
18:07
the right time.
18:08
but point being you don't have to have an ad budget you don't
18:11
have to have any of
18:12
that stuff you can just publish it because we're humans and
18:16
we're put here to
18:17
create things and it's like this is a dramatic way of saying it
18:20
but it's like a
18:21
SPEAKER_00: crime against yourself to not do it if you feel like you're led to
18:26
100% and I'm I think it's really interesting because it's
18:29
amazing how many people
18:30
think it's really hard but actually Kindle I have to say KDP
18:34
and and please know
18:35
anyone listening we are not affiliates of Amazon we're not here
18:38
shooting their
18:39
thing right but having used Ingram Sparks and used Amazon
18:45
Ingram is so much harder
18:48
I literally stopped publishing books through Ingram because
18:50
back in the day it was
18:52
awful like when I did my first book it was awful and then the
18:56
most recent series I
18:57
did that I changed the cover size and for some reason it like
19:01
won't accept one of
19:02
the spines on one of the books from the series and I'm like
19:06
it's I'm looking at the
19:07
SPEAKER_00: book right now it's literally fine why won't you publish it
19:11
Yeah and this is this can be like what puts people off right
19:15
whereas Amazon they
19:16
have done their due diligence because they know this is a
19:19
market that they have and
19:21
they have you can download Kindle Creator and it will just
19:24
automatically put your
19:25
book into an ebook format you know you can and I've even used
19:29
that to format it for
19:30
publishing because you can't you know and then you know you can
19:33
also they've got
19:35
like a template you can download that you can put into Canva to
19:38
help you put your
19:39
book together you don't even have to have the paid version of
19:42
Canva again this is
19:43
all you can do for free then we've got AI coming online where
19:48
AI can help you
19:49
resize your images to fit if it doesn't fit properly you can
19:52
you know there's lots
19:53
and lots more tools than when Natalie started and it was all
19:57
kind of you know
19:58
creaking out and going yeah here's this clunky little bit of
20:01
little bit of thing
20:02
SPEAKER_01: that you can use
20:03
yeah and it was like two whole different platforms they had
20:06
their like Kindle KDP
20:08
platform and CreateSpace so you had to do it two different ways
20:11
and then also
20:12
SPEAKER_00: Ingram and
20:14
There's other great platforms too that can help you with ebook
20:17
distribution.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: I think I'd be interested to hear how your thoughts are on this too.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: I always struggle with this,
20:23
SPEAKER_00: again,
20:24
SPEAKER_00: because you don't want to be like,
20:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm promoting Amazon all the time,
20:27
SPEAKER_00: but that's just where it's at.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: Because of their Kindle Unlimited program, that's how a lot of people...
20:33
I feel like that's the most affordable way for people to have
20:36
access to books.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm a writer because I want people to have access to books.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: I'm not a writer because...
20:43
I think it's going to make me a millionaire if it does great I
20:46
would love that
20:48
that's not why I'm doing it and I just it's so but if you put
20:52
it on Kindle
20:53
Unlimited you can't put the ebook anywhere else like you said
20:56
you can sell it
20:57
through your site I believe you might still be able to do that
21:00
but you can't sell
21:01
it anywhere else you can't put it on Apple Books or Google
21:03
Books or yeah I got in
21:05
SPEAKER_01: trouble for that because I didn't know that and I was like
21:09
because putting your book on Apple so my first book that I
21:13
published it was my
21:14
spiritual ethics book and I did that all myself you know I was
21:17
like I can do this
21:18
and I did it through Amazon this is where I learned about the
21:21
button because then I
21:22
was like I actually want it on Ingram as well because then I
21:26
can distribute it to
21:27
SPEAKER_01: some more places and people can order it a bit easier and anyway so then
21:32
I learned a lot because I was like oh I'm not meant to hit that
21:35
button but then I
21:36
also was manually uploading my book to like Apple and Apple's
21:41
ebook publishing
21:43
platform it is like something the equivalent to what I remember
21:47
using in high
21:48
school like that is how old it is and how clunky it is and I
21:52
was like what is this
21:53
why is this so bad and it was so hard so when it came around to
21:58
doing my novel I
21:59
SPEAKER_01: actually
22:00
got like a small publishing company and paid them to do the
22:03
global distribution
22:04
because I didn't want to deal with Ingram I didn't want to deal
22:07
with all these evil
22:08
platforms but I'm like I can do Amazon so I had it on Amazon
22:12
going while they were
22:13
still sorting their stuff in and the background you know but it
22:16
was funny there's a
22:17
really good company too if you want to check it out in the
22:21
future for future books
22:22
it's called Draft2Digital it's the number two I found them have
22:27
you heard of them
22:28
SPEAKER_00: before?
22:29
they've started to come into my field so maybe that's where my
22:31
next book's gonna go
22:33
yeah because I I like everything you said about uploading on
22:39
Apple and like I felt
22:41
it in my soul because I just remember thinking this is gonna be
22:44
my whole Saturday
22:45
today just uploading and resizing and redoing things for all
22:49
like but like a small
22:52
SPEAKER_00: amount of pixel changes for all these different companies then I found
22:55
SPEAKER_00: Draft2Digital and they do
22:58
the global distribution for you you just upload it once and
23:01
they like let you know
23:02
where it's at like in the various processing and then they just
23:06
take a cut
23:07
afterwards which as you probably know that's one of the
23:10
benefits of self-publishing
23:12
is if you're not self-published you're going to make a if
23:15
you're traditionally
23:16
published you're going to make a fraction of what you can make
23:19
being self-published
23:20
SPEAKER_00: like on Amazon you can get 70 percent
23:23
of the royalties which kind of leaves it to where like if you
23:26
do want to do
23:26
something with a different company also it doesn't it's not
23:30
that big of a deal and
23:31
you still make like 40% so which yeah so much more than
23:34
traditional exactly and
23:36
when we're talking these percentages everybody I'm just gonna
23:38
let you know it's
23:39
like a couple of dollars a book okay I'm just putting that in
23:42
perspective right
23:43
SPEAKER_01: it's not like oh you make 70% that's like you know
23:47
if it's a $20 book you know or $30 I can't even do the math on
23:51
that but you know if
23:52
it's like a $20 book you're making I don't know if it's really
23:55
bad math $15 like no
23:56
no no because you've got to take out the printing cost you've
23:59
got to take out all
24:00
those things but the point is you don't have to have I'm like I
24:04
have books in my
24:04
house because I sell them to people if I go to like a talk or
24:08
something like that
24:08
but you know you could they just take care of all that and for
24:13
you you don't have
24:14
SPEAKER_01: to have like a publisher and
24:16
publishing house you're calling up saying I need 30 copies of
24:18
my book they can
24:19
order it straight through there or they can go through Ingram
24:22
or however that looks
24:23
so it's it's a lot more doable I feel and if you if you if you
24:29
can't even afford an
24:29
editor just be persistent I managed to do the second edit of my
24:34
book using AI and
24:36
It was very nitty gritty like I could only do about two
24:39
chapters a day because I
24:40
had to do so much pushback and go nope don't cut that out put
24:43
that back in stop
24:45
writing your one word sentences that is not a sentence you know
24:48
sometimes it's okay
24:49
for emphasis but that is not a sentence in this case you know
24:52
like where did that
24:53
SPEAKER_01: character go you just got rid of it
24:55
but yeah but it was worth it program grammarly has really been
25:00
helpful to me too
25:01
because you know this is like one of the hardest things is that
25:04
editors are
25:05
essential like they're very important to the publishing process
25:09
they're also the
25:10
SPEAKER_00: most expensive part of the publishing process yes they are
25:14
SPEAKER_00: They're worth every penny if you have the pennies.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: But I'm so passionate about people getting their stories out there.
25:23
Especially right now,
25:24
the way the world is,
25:24
I feel like there's a lot of a lack of empathy.
25:27
And they've done studies in people who read more nonfiction or
25:30
don't read at all.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: They have less empathy than people who read fiction.
25:34
SPEAKER_00: Because if you read fiction...
25:36
you come into contact with people that you probably never come
25:38
into contact with in
25:39
the real world and your brain doesn't understand that those
25:43
characters aren't real
25:44
people that's why it feels so painful when you finish reading a
25:48
book you're like oh
25:49
I'm never gonna see like my friends from summer camp again I
25:52
get those yeah
25:54
and I hate the books that don't finish up so like even my book
25:58
I put like a 10
25:59
years later thing because I'm like thank you thank you right
26:03
but then even the
26:04
bonus chapters have like that five years later from other
26:08
characters perspectives
26:09
as well because it's like you just want to know and keep going
26:12
and if it's not a
26:13
series so I love the authors that then interweave those
26:16
characters into the next
26:17
book but it's not primarily about them but they pop up and
26:20
you're like oh yeah I
26:21
SPEAKER_01: remember that one
26:23
and then they're playing because you're still friends with them
26:26
like you said
26:26
you're still like oh my goodness look they're showing up again
26:29
I know who they are
26:29
I just read that book and that's what I feel keeps you wanting
26:32
to come back into
26:33
that loop or to have that epilogue this is me personally so I
26:37
feel you agree
26:37
Natalie but having that epilogue of this is what happened to
26:40
them they did get
26:41
there happily ever after or these weird things happened but
26:44
they were okay now or
26:45
SPEAKER_01: you know
26:46
they're living out their dreams or however that looks because
26:49
it gives you that
26:50
serotonin hit at the end and that dopamine like yeah I want to
26:54
know let me know
26:56
what happened like you know we're we're curious creatures we've
26:59
spent so much time
27:00
with these people what happened especially you're writing
27:03
mysteries and thrillers
27:04
you want to know there's like a balance at the end of that
27:07
because you're like this
27:08
SPEAKER_01: whole time
27:11
one of the nice things about writing series to the point that
27:13
you were saying is
27:14
like I just get to keep going on with them it has been
27:18
interesting um I have
27:19
friends who work in entertainment like obviously I live in Los
27:22
Angeles you can't
27:23
SPEAKER_00: throw a rock without hitting someone who works in entertainment um
27:28
I it's interesting because I now think of the series the books
27:32
in it the same way
27:33
that you think of writing a season of TV right like you need to
27:36
have your character
27:37
arcs you pick do you want it to be a six book series a nine
27:40
book series and you
27:41
could keep going after that but like it's got to be like a new
27:44
chapter in their
27:45
life like we got it we got to close some loops we got to do all
27:48
that stuff so it's
27:49
SPEAKER_00: been so interesting and
27:51
SPEAKER_00: Doing that with a series after starting with three thrillers.
27:56
SPEAKER_01: I had to count for a second how many there were.
27:58
Where to your point,
27:59
it's just like you just have the characters for a little bit.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm done with them too after that.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: It's sad for me also.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
28:07
yeah and especially when and even what you said about character
28:11
arcs and story arcs
28:12
so this is when so when I wrote my book it was a little bit
28:16
different I got a dream
28:17
and it was like the dream was a whole movie and I was like I
28:20
need to put that into
28:21
a book you know that's how I get them that's how I get my book
28:24
and I have so many
28:25
in my in my phone that I've just written down kind of the
28:27
synopsis that kind of
28:28
came through right and I'm like they'll they'll be births when
28:32
they're ready but um
28:33
SPEAKER_01: what what happened was
28:35
I started writing this book and I put it all together and then
28:38
when I was editing
28:38
it through through AI and chat I was like okay what are the
28:42
main story arcs and
28:43
they're like hey you've actually written a really powerful
28:46
psychological dark
28:47
romance it actually explores where loneliness makes you do
28:50
decisions modern
28:51
intimacy and how the technology can create faults and
28:54
protection and I'm like I did
28:56
SPEAKER_01: all of that I had no idea I was just writing the story I
29:02
SPEAKER_00: It's really exciting when you get excited about your own writing.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: I don't really know anything I can compare it to.
29:11
SPEAKER_00: You're just so proud of yourself.
29:13
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you feel this way,
29:14
but I always joke that every book release day is both the best
29:17
and worst day of my
29:18
SPEAKER_00: life.
29:20
SPEAKER_01: And it's almost a little bit anticlimactic.
29:22
SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh, you finished your book.
29:24
SPEAKER_01: What are you going to do now?
29:28
Sale Sale Yeah exactly that It was really funny because KDP
29:34
wasn't working I think
29:35
it was last month or the month before I don't know it was being
29:37
really glitchy
29:38
everyone was complaining about it on threads if anyone's
29:41
curious about the indie
29:42
author and when I had to learn what indie author meant so I
29:45
feel to quickly segue
29:46
there so indie author just means you have self-published or
29:48
used a very small
29:49
SPEAKER_01: publishing house to get your works
29:52
out into the world so I was like oh my goodness I'm an indie
29:55
author I had no idea
29:57
right so I'm like great now I've got this community but they
30:00
were all complaining
30:00
they're like I don't know something's acting up like people are
30:03
reading my book on
30:04
Kindle Unlimited because they're telling me but I'm not getting
30:07
the pages you know
30:08
included it was something weird was going on I couldn't even
30:11
see any sales I was
30:12
SPEAKER_01: like oh
30:13
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what's going on.
30:14
SPEAKER_01: My husband's like, have you sold any yet?
30:16
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I don't know.
30:17
SPEAKER_01: I said, I truly don't know.
30:18
SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, whatever.
30:19
And then you get the email in your inbox and it's like,
30:22
you have a royalty coming in.
30:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I must have sold something.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: So exciting.
30:28
SPEAKER_00: It's like the most exciting 14 cents you'll ever make in your life.
30:32
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it is that little.
30:34
we're not joking but you know what this is the point right
30:38
Natalie it's you're
30:38
writing because you have a story to tell you're passionate
30:41
about it and you want to
30:42
share that some way but then you can also help other people do
30:46
the same which is
30:47
SPEAKER_01: where I feel you've put this nice little bridge in
30:50
but you can also become an inspiration to other people because
30:52
everyone has a book
30:53
in them you know there's a story that they want to tell it just
30:57
depends how it
30:57
wants to come out yeah totally that's that is almost verbatim
31:01
what I always say
31:02
that everyone has a story and I just yeah that we could all
31:06
really learn a lot from
31:07
each other it's just it it takes a bit of bravery to write a
31:11
book and then put it
31:12
SPEAKER_00: out there and then
31:14
SPEAKER_00: Gosh, I can't even imagine.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: I want to publish a poetry anthology at some point,
31:18
SPEAKER_00: but it's like,
31:19
SPEAKER_00: I don't think I have the guts for it.
31:21
SPEAKER_00: Maybe at some point I will, but I'm not there yet.
31:25
SPEAKER_00: It's just one of the most rewarding and scary experiences.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: So rewarding that you'll... And then it's out there forever.
31:31
And I mean,
31:32
that's part of why it's scary,
31:33
but it's also like contributed to like literature.
31:37
SPEAKER_00: You've contributed to...
31:40
what people can read what they can learn who created whole
31:44
people and whole worlds
31:46
and they exist now because you put them out there and it's just
31:50
like a very very
31:51
fulfilling like surreal thing that's like hard to wrap your
31:55
mind around you know
31:57
but you did it and then you're like yeah look I did it you know
32:00
and it doesn't
32:00
matter if I mean your family reads your book it doesn't matter
32:04
if it becomes a
32:05
bestseller which which is a whole other podcast about what
32:08
bestseller really means
32:09
I've just like it's very interesting a lot of connections make
32:13
that one happen
32:15
But even what gets it was funny I watched a pop but anyway put
32:19
yourself in spaces
32:20
where you can learn about these things or reach out to people
32:23
like Natalie or
32:24
someone who you know who's been through it because this can be
32:26
like a beautiful
32:28
learning thing I had a client last week and she goes I just
32:31
want to tap your brain
32:31
about the self-publishing process I said yeah I'll show you
32:34
everything let's go and
32:36
she goes thank you it just felt so big and overwhelming but it
32:39
really isn't I said
32:40
no it really isn't but if you if it's new and you don't know
32:44
where you're heading
32:44
SPEAKER_01: this is why tapping into Natalie's work and what she does
32:48
SPEAKER_01: is really powerful, too.
32:50
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
32:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I try to.
32:52
SPEAKER_00: So those are some of the resources I try to put up on the indie authors.
32:56
Like I put I have like a 13 step process that I've refined over
33:01
the years.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: And so I put it there.
33:03
SPEAKER_00: And so
33:04
SPEAKER_00: You can publish a book in just a few weeks if you want to.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: You can go from idea to having it fully written to having it published.
33:11
So I put that whole process there and I keep it really short on
33:15
purpose because
33:16
SPEAKER_00: it's already overwhelming to write a book.
33:19
SPEAKER_00: That's already a lot.
33:20
And then to think about the editing and the covers and how many
33:25
times do you edit?
33:26
SPEAKER_00: And then I also have things up there about story structure.
33:29
SPEAKER_00: If people are like,
33:29
SPEAKER_00: I want to write a book,
33:30
SPEAKER_00: but I just actually don't understand story structure.
33:33
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to go to school.
33:34
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to take a class.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: There's some very tried and true story structures that are on there.
33:40
SPEAKER_00: I think I have workbooks for breaking writer's block.
33:42
It sounds like maybe me and you have the similar problem of
33:47
that not being our
33:47
SPEAKER_00: problem because our dreams keep us busy enough with material.
33:52
SPEAKER_01: It's like, hang on a minute.
33:55
SPEAKER_01: Hang on, brain.
33:56
SPEAKER_01: I just...
33:57
need a minute to write this down thank you my my favorite is
34:03
I'm in the shower and
34:04
then all these ideas come in I'm like hang on I'm wet and I
34:07
need paper and I need
34:08
to write this down I'm like what's the nearest thing tissue
34:12
waterproof like
34:13
SPEAKER_00: dictaphone or something
34:16
SPEAKER_01: As we start to finish our time together,
34:18
SPEAKER_01: Natalie,
34:19
SPEAKER_01: I asked the guests that come on the show,
34:20
SPEAKER_01: if you could heal or change something in the world,
34:22
SPEAKER_01: what would it be?
34:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: This is a great question.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: I think mine's a little simple, but I think it's really important.
34:31
I wish that we all gave ourselves but also encouraged each
34:35
other to take the space
34:36
SPEAKER_00: to find out what lights us up.
34:38
I think a common thing that people say is to think about what
34:43
you did when you were
34:44
SPEAKER_00: a kid and what did you do
34:45
SPEAKER_00: you for fun and all those types of things.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've said that, too.
34:49
SPEAKER_00: I say it in my books.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: I've said it to myself.
34:51
SPEAKER_00: I've said it to my friends.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: But then I also was thinking about it lately.
34:54
SPEAKER_00: And some of us like this is not me,
34:56
but some people didn't have great childhoods where they were
34:59
able to have fun,
34:59
SPEAKER_00: you know,
35:00
SPEAKER_00: like.
35:00
you at no point in your life were able to know what lights you
35:05
up you were you
35:05
don't know what you're interested in and so we've got people
35:08
addicted to phones and
35:10
all this stuff and they don't actually know what makes them
35:14
happy nor do people
35:15
SPEAKER_00: take the time and space to do it so
35:19
I've always been an embroiderer since I was a little kid so
35:23
that's another thing
35:24
that I do on the site is publish embroidery patterns and I have
35:28
one of the best
35:29
selling samplers on Etsy that I only sell for 99 cents and it's
35:33
got all the
35:33
SPEAKER_00: pictures all the stuff in it
35:35
And I intentionally keep it that cheap because embroidery is a
35:39
very cheap hobby to
35:40
pick up and I want people who maybe only have $5 to try
35:45
something new and they're
35:46
SPEAKER_00: like,
35:46
SPEAKER_00: I just got to try something new.
35:48
I want them to be able to afford the supplies and that was like
35:53
the cheapest it
35:54
SPEAKER_00: could sell for it.
35:55
I was like,
35:56
I just want you to have this resource so you could get started
35:59
today.
35:59
SPEAKER_00: Maybe hate embroidery.
36:01
SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's not it for you.
36:02
SPEAKER_00: But the point is to make the space for yourself to try that.
36:06
Because if we all have things in our lives that we do that
36:10
light us up,
36:10
that's
36:10
just good energy that we take out into the rest of the day and
36:14
it could be
36:14
something you do with friends if you're a really social person
36:17
it could be
36:17
something you do for yourself if you're like anxious but not
36:21
tired or you don't
36:22
know what to do with yourself and you would otherwise doom
36:24
scroll all those things
36:25
so that's that's the one thing I would love to heal is just
36:28
giving ourselves
36:29
permission to figure out what it is that we like like yeah I
36:33
just think that would
36:34
SPEAKER_00: make everybody better
36:36
Well it's like a lot of my clients I'll tell them to start
36:38
their day with doing
36:39
something for them you know so if they want to write start your
36:42
day doing writing
36:43
you know because otherwise they go to work they do their
36:46
however many hours come
36:48
home you know make dinner for the kids and then they're
36:50
exhausted and then they
36:52
SPEAKER_01: don't get to spend that time
36:53
doing something whereas if you flip that and maybe it is you
36:57
get up 10 minutes
36:58
earlier off 200 words right you you filled your cup up straight
37:02
away you know
37:02
you're not running on empty and that's sometimes really
37:05
beautiful to remember as
37:06
well and if people want to come and connect with you Natalie or
37:11
find your books
37:12
SPEAKER_01: obviously on Amazon but where else can they go
37:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so pretty much just Amazon for the books.
37:19
SPEAKER_00: If you want any of my other writing,
37:20
SPEAKER_00: like I said,
37:22
SPEAKER_00: I've moved off of Substack for technical SEO reasons,
37:26
SPEAKER_00: but I still keep that newsletter going on a different platform.
37:29
SPEAKER_00: It's linked on my website, which is just my name.
37:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, luckily, one of very few Natalie Saars in the entire world.
37:36
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how you get that lucky, but I did.
37:38
So you can pretty much just put my whole name into any platform
37:41
and I'll be the one
37:41
SPEAKER_00: that pops up.
37:42
SPEAKER_00: So
37:43
Amazing and for those who are panicking about that it's okay
37:46
we'll be in the show
37:47
notes don't worry it's all good and Natalie thank you so much
37:52
for reminding us all
37:54
how important it is just to do 1% better each day or 1% commit
37:58
to yourself and also
38:00
to find what lights you up and if it is self-publishing or
38:04
going into that world
38:05
why not why not do that and why not allow yourself to explore
38:09
that so for everyone
38:10
SPEAKER_01: who's listening thank you so much for tuning in
38:13
but if you're curious and want to know more about Natalie
38:16
obviously check out the
38:17
show notes or if you want to know more about the show please
38:19
feel free to like
38:20
share and subscribe so thank you again for tuning in and thank
38:24
you Natalie for
38:25
being in this conversation thank you Catherine I had so much
38:28
fun hey beautiful
38:29
SPEAKER_01: souls I wanted to have a chat with you about a really amazing
38:33
SPEAKER_01: Cacao that I drink to help me get in ceremony,
38:36
SPEAKER_01: to help me ground,
38:37
SPEAKER_01: but also just because it tastes freaking good.
38:40
So if you're curious and want to know about drinking something
38:42
other than coffee or
38:44
SPEAKER_01: your standard tea,
38:46
SPEAKER_01: why not check out Creation Cacao?
38:48
SPEAKER_01: I love this with a bit of honey and cinnamon sprinkled in and
38:53
Just letting it brew and having that whole intention as you
38:56
create this cup.
38:58
So if you're curious and want to know more,
39:00
check out the link in the show notes and enjoy.
39:04
your cup of cacao thank you for listening to Willow Healing
39:07
Matters the podcast we
39:08
have so much love and gratitude that you are taking the time
39:11
out of your day to
39:12
empower you on your healing journey the view shared by the
39:16
person being interviewed
39:18
might not necessarily reflect that of the host and should be
39:21
used in your own
39:21
discernment trust what resonates for you and follow your heart
39:25
and soul guidance if
39:27
SPEAKER_01: you have any underlying medical conditions or mental health
39:30
SPEAKER_01: This can be found in the show notes.
39:32
Remember to activate,
39:32
align,
39:32
heal,
39:33
empower and find love in everything that you do.