Latest / Libido Lounge / Tips on How to Dirty Talk without Being Embarrassed with Dr. Stacy Friedman
Transcript
- 0:00Flirting is not something you're born with.
- 0:03It's actually a learned skill.
- 0:04Doctor.
- 0:05Stacey Freedman is a clinical sexologist and certified sex and intimacy coach who helps
- 0:10individuals and couples of all genders and orientations discover deeper connection,
- 0:15pleasure, and confidence inside and outside the bedroom.
- 0:19With over twenty six years of experience in the medical field and more than two decades working
- 0:24in the sexuality field, she brings a rare mix of clinical expertise and specialized training
- 0:30in sexual health, intimacy coaching, communication, and relationship dynamics.
- 0:36It does get lost after so many years and people just don't know how to get that back.
- 0:40People think that talking dirty means you have to be raunchy and raw and just you know if you
- 0:45laugh about it, that's okay to laugh.
- 0:47That can help build that anticipation, and that might even get yourself horny.
- 0:52You know?
- 0:52You don't know.
- 0:53Just wait till what I do to you later.
- 0:56Buddy, welcome to the lounge.
- 0:59Welcome back to all of our longtime listeners.
- 1:02I'm so excited to talk to doctor Stacy Friedman today and to bring her on the show because the
- 1:09topic we're talking about today comes up a lot in my community, which is dirty talk, how to
- 1:15flirt, oftentimes one partner is asking for this and the other partner is timid or Cher,
- 1:20maybe even both partners want this but don't know how to even begin.
- 1:25It is so common in our long term relationships that even if this was there and natural in the
- 1:31beginning, we kinda start talking like best friends after a while, and then when it gets to
- 1:36that, you know, trying to get back to that dirty talk can feel kinda a little awkward in
- 1:41many times.
- 1:42So I'm so excited to have this conversation with sexologist and expert Doctor.
- 1:47Stacy today because we are gonna give you tools, we're gonna give you actionable steps,
- 1:52we're gonna help get you over that awkward hump today.
- 1:55So thank you Doctor.
- 1:56Stacy for being here with me and for exploring this topic today.
- 2:00I am so excited Doctor.
- 2:02Diane because this is a subject I get to teach a lot of people as well because it's something
- 2:09that is so needed that, like you said, it does get lost after so many years, and people just
- 2:14don't know how to get that back.
- 2:16So I'm really excited.
- 2:18Yeah.
- 2:18And let's dive right in because I think one of the first things maybe to to talk about is, I
- 2:24think beginning this day, like I mentioned, awkward, but there's also oftentimes this
- 2:29feeling of embarrassment people have, right, around like, oh, this feels embarrassing to say
- 2:35this.
- 2:35This feels embarrassing to do this.
- 2:37And so where do people start with, and is there a way to start without feeling embarrassed or
- 2:43awkward, or is it more just like accepting that that is part of it and, you know, and
- 2:48motivating yourself through it?
- 2:49How do you guide people to just kind of break through this initial barrier?
- 2:53Well, it's true because, you know what, flirting is not something you're born with.
- 2:57Okay?
- 2:58It's actually a learned skill, it's rooted in attention and curiosity and being present.
- 3:04And it happens many times before you even get in the bedroom, and that flirting can help you
- 3:09get to the bedroom.
- 3:10And so for a lot of people, they just have no clue how to talk dirty, how to flirt, because
- 3:15people think that talking dirty means you have to be raunchy and raw and just, you know, to
- 3:21that mindset of like, oh god, what did they say to me?
- 3:24But what I try to tell people is that practice makes perfect, just like any other skill.
- 3:30And so we talk about how communication, first of all, is so important in relationships
- 3:36anyway, that if you're not able to talk about sex and intimacy, and you're not able to talk
- 3:41about flirting or or some things that have to do in the bedroom, you're gonna be lacking in
- 3:47your relationship.
- 3:48And so we just talk about how to practice, and then we get into all those detail.
- 3:54Okay.
- 3:55So then what is a common mistake?
- 3:57So we're talking about getting into all the details.
- 3:59Let's talk about common mistakes that people can avoid.
- 4:02Where do they do wrong in the beginning, or throughout any of it?
- 4:06Well, they think that it's gonna come natural, and it doesn't.
- 4:11And one of the things that people say, well, all we do is we laugh.
- 4:14And I was like, but that's okay.
- 4:15If you say something and you laugh, that's okay.
- 4:18Because when you go ahead, if you've never looked at your partner and say, oh my god, you
- 4:22got me so hard or you got me so wet or whatever it is, and it feels weird, if you laugh about
- 4:29it, that's okay to laugh.
- 4:30And I think that people feel like it has to be perfect.
- 4:33And that's, I think, a mistake that people, make is that they refuse sometimes to even
- 4:38start because they're afraid to screw up.
- 4:41You remember, I was teaching a a tantra class this weekend, and we were practicing doing
- 4:45certain acts and, like, doing them with sending love through our, you know, through our mouth
- 4:51or through our hands, and so I was playing this dice game with people where I roll dice and be
- 4:55like, oh, blow here and lick here and like do all that right.
- 4:59And every time I rolled these dice, it was like lick, blow, suck, whatever it was, and the body
- 5:05part that kept coming up was ass.
- 5:07So it was, no matter what I will do, and and so it was, like, it was, like, this real serious
- 5:11thing with people, like, being in this kind of, like, meditative type of state as we were doing
- 5:16this.
- 5:17And when we kept getting butt coming up, then all of a sudden, everybody was just laughing.
- 5:21Right?
- 5:21And I think it's, one of those things we don't, like, think about is, like, this is actually,
- 5:26like, bringing laughter in, whether we're talking about dirty talk or anything else in
- 5:30the bedroom is, like, this isn't a bad thing.
- 5:32That's a sign that we're being lighthearted and and and taking it Playful.
- 5:36Like, playful.
- 5:37Right?
- 5:38So that's what I hear in some of what you're saying is like, oh, like, let this be playful.
- 5:42Let it, like it doesn't have to be serious even though it can feel so emotional.
- 5:48Right?
- 5:48Right.
- 5:48Right.
- 5:49And I have a book in one of the chapters of the book, because I have a quote on the front of
- 5:53every chapter, and one of them says, if you're not laughing and having fun while having sex,
- 5:58you're doing it wrong.
- 6:00And basically, that's the whole premise of the whole thing, is that sex is not supposed to be
- 6:04so serious.
- 6:05And so when people have issues like performance anxiety, everything, it's all focused on what
- 6:09is my end result, rather than the whole journey.
- 6:12And, you know, for people that are just beginning, I like to be able to just tell them,
- 6:17talk with your partner.
- 6:18Let them know you're nervous.
- 6:20That, you know, that could be kind of like that first start that you were asking, is how do you
- 6:24get started?
- 6:25And that's just by saying to your partner, I wanna change this, or I wanna do this, or I
- 6:29wanna add to this, and I'm feeling a little awkward.
- 6:32You know, is it okay if I do this?
- 6:34And get that, you know, affirmation from your husband or your wife, or, you know, say, well,
- 6:39what are some things you want to hear?
- 6:42And ask
- 6:42them That's the really good advice because I think we do take a lot of that fear out just
- 6:48by, like, naming that and just by giving somebody a heads up.
- 6:51So it's like, oh, this isn't gonna shock them.
- 6:52Like, they know this is coming.
- 6:54We talked about it.
- 6:55Right.
- 6:56Right.
- 6:56And just then they'll know that you're coming because you'll be able to say the words.
- 7:00Right.
- 7:00Exactly.
- 7:01I'm coming.
- 7:02Right.
- 7:03I'm coming through dirty talk.
- 7:04Exactly.
- 7:05Exactly.
- 7:06And so much of, like, dirty talk and flirting is, like, like, what's happening outside the
- 7:10bedroom, but it's also, like, what we're doing inside the bedroom too.
- 7:13Right.
- 7:14Right.
- 7:14So I'm curious, like, do you have because I know this question comes up a lot in, like
- 7:19like, social media posts that I've researched on this topic, which are, like, go to lines.
- 7:25Like, do you ever have, like, a foundational, like, oh, here's a couple lines to try out, or
- 7:30do you do you recommend anything like that?
- 7:33Well, when you are in the bedroom, I always recommend for people that are cool.
- 7:37I don't know what to say.
- 7:38I don't know how to say it.
- 7:40Say what you're feeling.
- 7:42Say what you're thinking.
- 7:43And then people like, well, I get confused, or I'm kind of in the moment.
- 7:47I don't know.
- 7:48But when, let's say, your partner enters you, if you're in a heterosexual relationship, and
- 7:52you're a woman and the male because a lot of times it's the woman that sometimes struggles a
- 7:56little more with the dirty talk or the flirting.
- 7:59When the man enters you, how does it feel?
- 8:03Oh god.
- 8:03It feels great.
- 8:05I said, does it feel like, how what is the sound you wanna make?
- 8:09And they're like, ah.
- 8:10I said, so make the sound.
- 8:12You know?
- 8:12Because a lot of times they're silent.
- 8:14Or say, oh my god, that feels so good.
- 8:17You know?
- 8:18Or if you see that you're getting, like, oh my god.
- 8:21I'm getting, like, warm and wet.
- 8:23Tell him you're getting warm and wet.
- 8:24Oh my god.
- 8:24You like that he's hard.
- 8:26Tell him, I love how hard you are.
- 8:28It's just instead of keeping the thought in your head, put it out there, and that's
- 8:33something you can do in the bedroom.
- 8:35So there's not, let's say, a set, you know, word to use.
- 8:38But outside the bedroom, it's noticing something about your partner, and what happens
- 8:46is that a lot of times people will keep that notice in their head like, oh, she looks so
- 8:51good.
- 8:51Look at her butt.
- 8:52Or, wow, he smells really good.
- 8:55But they won't tell their partner.
- 8:57So it's important to just take that thought and tell your partner.
- 9:02But don't just say it in a way like, oh, you smell good.
- 9:05Go up to your partner and say, you smell really good.
- 9:09You see the difference?
- 9:11It's just how you say it.
- 9:13So sometimes you could tell your partner, oh, those pants look really good on you.
- 9:17Your butt looks great.
- 9:18But that's not really a flirty, sensual type of saying.
- 9:21You could say, god, your ass looks so good in there.
- 9:24What I wanna do to it later, You know?
- 9:26Or something like that.
- 9:28Yeah.
- 9:29I really appreciate you bringing up, like, the vocal tone because even as you're saying that,
- 9:34I'm, like, feeling my own body.
- 9:35I'm like, that does not affect me.
- 9:36I'm like, alright.
- 9:38Like Right.
- 9:38I'm feeling physical changes in my body, you know, as you as you say those things.
- 9:42And, you know, I think it's a a good point too.
- 9:45Like, another thing I wanna bring up here, because I see this a lot in my own
- 9:48relationship, which is my partner's deaf, and so he's an amazing lip reader.
- 9:53Right?
- 9:54But from a standpoint of, like, talking during sex, we've been together five years, and it's
- 9:58been a very interesting thing to navigate because unless we're facing each other where
- 10:04he's looking at my lips, which, you know, is in a lot of positions, that's not the orientation,
- 10:10there is like, he cannot hear me.
- 10:12Right?
- 10:13And so it's very interesting to even like, I found myself turning, like, more silent during
- 10:19sex until I realized what was happening and realized, like, oh, right.
- 10:23Like, part of part of, like, flirting during sex, part
- 10:26of the dirty talk, part of the
- 10:27sounds is not just for my partner.
- 10:29It actually is for me.
- 10:31Right.
- 10:31And so I really started bringing that back just realizing, like, well, sometimes he catches it,
- 10:36sometimes he doesn't.
- 10:37But even if he doesn't, he can feel it because I'm turning myself on by doing these things,
- 10:42and he still gets the benefit by feeling into me, my body, and my changes, and my excitement.
- 10:48So and I just say that because I think sometimes, like, why are we motivated to do
- 10:53these things?
- 10:54And sometimes we're motivated for that other person, but that motivation also can come,
- 10:58like, internally around, well, I wanna feel more.
- 11:01I wanna turn myself on.
- 11:02You find that?
- 11:03Yeah.
- 11:04That makes a lot of sense because there's so many people that are just doing it for their
- 11:10partners.
- 11:11And I'm gonna call out women on this.
- 11:13So many more women than men are doing it because, oh, well, it's an obligation or they
- 11:18wanna do it.
- 11:19But if they take it internally, and if you're gonna say to partner, oh, do you wanna go have
- 11:23sex?
- 11:24That's not gonna turn you on.
- 11:25That's not gonna turn myself on.
- 11:27But if I look at my partner, and I get over him, and I say, just wait till what I do to you
- 11:33later, or just see what I do to you later, and he's gonna be like, you know, this this face on
- 11:37him, and then I'm gonna be like, yeah.
- 11:39I just got him going.
- 11:40That's gonna turn me on because you're doing something for your partner.
- 11:44So it's important to, like you were saying, with your partner being deaf, even if he can't
- 11:48hear you, he could still see how you look at him.
- 11:51Could still because flirting is not even necessarily just words.
- 11:54Yes.
- 11:54It's your eyes, it's your lips, It's your tongue.
- 11:58It's your, you know, the head shift, the shoulders, everything.
- 12:02Exactly.
- 12:03And it brings up another point, like, flirt with our entire being.
- 12:06It's like words are apart oftentimes, but you can be across the room at, you know, at a bar
- 12:11and see a stranger clearly flirting with you and you have no idea, know, I mean, you haven't
- 12:17even had a conversation with them yet.
- 12:19So Right.
- 12:20So, you know, you mentioned like where to start like with, you know, with bed.
- 12:24Like, okay, well, you're in bed, you're with your partner, starting to be like, well, this
- 12:28is what I'm feeling, this is what I like, or making the sound associated.
- 12:32How do you like do you have any advice for them outside bedroom?
- 12:36Like, okay, well, you're in the kitchen and you're, you know, you're somewhere around the
- 12:39house and you're in person or, hey, this is via text and those other types of scenarios how to
- 12:46begin to flirt in those situations?
- 12:49I have to take a break from what we were just talking about because I'm so excited to
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- 13:53And what that's allowing you to do is be very specific around which part of the interior of
- 13:59the vagina, g spot, etcetera, that you are going to access and stimulate.
- 14:04Now what internal studies have shown on this particular product is that it increases arousal
- 14:11about 73% and lubrication up to 93%.
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- 16:50Yes, because a lot of people need that foreplay.
- 16:53Men and women need that foreplay.
- 16:56There's a lot of men that might say, Well, I never feel needed or wanted or desired because
- 17:01my partner doesn't do anything.
- 17:03And the partner's like, Okay, well, don't ever feel beautiful because my partner doesn't want
- 17:07to do anything because they might feel rejected.
- 17:09I mean, it's like there's always this back and forth, back and forth.
- 17:12And so I try to tell people, first of all, in order to have desire for later on, you need to
- 17:19make sure that you are building that foreplay.
- 17:21You're building that excitement.
- 17:23You're building that teasing because it's also about teasing.
- 17:26And that can start with I'll give you an example.
- 17:29My husband and I, we went downstairs.
- 17:31He went downstairs first.
- 17:32I came down ten minutes later.
- 17:34We wake up.
- 17:35We brush our teeth.
- 17:35We come downstairs, have our little breakfast.
- 17:38I came downstairs.
- 17:39He looked at me just out of nowhere.
- 17:40I mean, I was literally just in my pajamas, everything.
- 17:43He just says, you look so beautiful.
- 17:45And I looked at him like he was crazy.
- 17:47I'm like, I just got out of bed.
- 17:48What are you talking about?
- 17:49He goes, you're just beautiful.
- 17:50And he walks over to me.
- 17:51He takes my glasses off, and he just slowly takes his hands, put it behind my neck, and
- 17:56just laid this juicy wet kiss on me, and then just stopped.
- 18:01And he goes, what can I get you for breakfast?
- 18:03And I just sat there.
- 18:04I'm like, you?
- 18:06You know?
- 18:08Should we go upstairs?
- 18:10You got time?
- 18:11Right.
- 18:11Right.
- 18:12But that was just a playfulness, a little tease, a little touch, and we did not do
- 18:18anything after because we had the day to do.
- 18:20We had work to do.
- 18:21But it gets you started.
- 18:23So those little moments of foreplay, the little moments of sending, like you said about text.
- 18:28Send a little meme or just saying, you know, you look, fuckalicious today or something like
- 18:34that.
- 18:35You know, there's a meme that he always sends me.
- 18:37Just little things like that through the day are gonna help.
- 18:41I love the memes or the GIFs, Heidi.
- 18:43I think that's so, yeah, so accessible.
- 18:46So it's, like, so easy to get in your phone and be, like, playful.
- 18:50Right?
- 18:50And just, like, you know, looking your GIF directory and, like, okay, sexy text or, you
- 18:55know, hot text or tell my partner, like, just, you know, think about something like that and
- 18:59see what comes up.
- 19:01And it's it's nice because when it does, it will self populate things that resonate with
- 19:06you, maybe pictures that you like, images that you like, and then you don't have to come up
- 19:11with that yourself.
- 19:12I really love that idea.
- 19:14Send a picture of a woman eating a hotdog and saying, this is what I'm gonna do to you later.
- 19:19Mean, it's something so simple that you don't have to write it if you feel awkward writing
- 19:23something.
- 19:24Let the picture do it for you.
- 19:27And then I'm gonna give another idea, and then I have another question for you because I think
- 19:30another important thing is, like, that comes up is, well, how do we respond?
- 19:34But before I ask that question, I do like the idea.
- 19:37I wanna bring up the the concept of habit stacking because one of the things that I find
- 19:42in life when we're trying to bring new things in, whether we're talking about sexy things or
- 19:47not, is stacking things on top of other things we're doing so it doesn't feel like a habit.
- 19:51And so one fun idea is like when women and when men, when humans of all types are self
- 19:57pleasuring, one of the things you can do is start practicing.
- 20:01So like one of my favorite devices we talked about offline that I know you just got as well
- 20:05is the Mystery Vibe by Crexendo.
- 20:08This is the coolest female vibrator because it's like, look at that vending bit.
- 20:12It really is.
- 20:13It really is.
- 20:13You can get all these different positions and what that allows you to do is not only
- 20:18experience great pleasure because at every different joint it's gonna vibrate.
- 20:22You have the ability to control it to vibrate at its own frequency, but it's allowing women
- 20:27to like see like, oh, oh, this is a part of my vagina that maybe needs a little more care,
- 20:33maybe needs a little more energy, so you can really start to heal and and enhance your
- 20:38pleasure by finding areas that maybe you didn't even know had resistance to pleasure.
- 20:44So really cool device.
- 20:46It's been amazing because there's research for pelvic pain and so many other things.
- 20:50But it, like, it'd be really fun for women to take something like this.
- 20:53They're playing with themselves and all of a sudden it's like you can practice like, okay,
- 20:58what would I say about how this feels?
- 21:00How does this feel?
- 21:01You can start actually practicing that on your own.
- 21:06And for men, one of my favorite things right now is the penis pump.
- 21:10So the penis penis pump that I'm gonna put, yes, amazing, amazing device.
- 21:15It's an amazing company.
- 21:16I'm gonna put links and coupon codes for this and for the other device in the show notes.
- 21:21And this this penis pump, what's great, it comes in all sorts of sizes.
- 21:24I I have two of them here.
- 21:25There's all other sizes with this so you can get exact fit because that's one of the biggest
- 21:30problems with penis pumps is you don't get exact fit and they don't work as well and they
- 21:34can lead to bruising or other problems, but you get so many different sizes online.
- 21:40You can pick which size is best for you.
- 21:41They help you size it, all of that.
- 21:43And with their studies, they've done studies on this and then they've found that men almost get
- 21:48like a full inch longer, sometimes even up to three and girth is a half an inch or more often
- 21:55times than many men.
- 21:57So as like men, it's like so easy to be, you know, using these and to be looking and like,
- 22:01wow.
- 22:02Like think about like seeing your penis grow and like all the things you want to say to your
- 22:07partner about this, Right?
- 22:10It's another Exercise for the penis.
- 22:11It is.
- 22:12It's an exercise for the penis.
- 22:13You get more girth, you get more length, you get more ability to hold and maintain erection,
- 22:19so many more things, and then you can practice your flirting in your own head while you're
- 22:23doing it.
- 22:23So all of those coupon codes will be in the show notes, and now tell me, okay, because
- 22:29another thing that I think comes up sometimes is receiving a dirty text, and then sometimes
- 22:35what I've seen in in people that I talk to is they receive this and then they just get almost
- 22:38like paralyzed with like, I don't know what to say and when this has gone wrong, what I've
- 22:44seen is when people don't say anything, and then it can send that message back to that
- 22:48first person or like, I did something wrong or I feel awkward or like any of that.
- 22:53So do you have any recommendations on how to respond, how quickly to respond, any of those
- 23:00kind of things when people are getting a dirty text?
- 23:03Yeah, and I think that you should always respond because even if you are so called not
- 23:07in the mood, because that's what happens is people are like, well, they send me this, and
- 23:11I'm not really in the mood, so I don't really know how to respond.
- 23:15You know, and they don't wanna assume that something's gonna happen later, and that's
- 23:18where that confusion comes, is because people may not say to themselves, oh, well, I'm really
- 23:25horny, so let me respond this way, so they just freeze.
- 23:28First of all, like we were saying about the memes and the, emojis and things like that, You
- 23:36could respond back if you don't know what to say with a meme.
- 23:39Search a meme.
- 23:40And if you don't want it to be as sexual, do something that might be more affectionate and
- 23:45more loving, like, oh my god, love you so much, or something like that.
- 23:49Otherwise, if you think, you know what?
- 23:51I may not be in the mood now, but it's been, you know, a little while, and maybe we could
- 23:55plan a fun date.
- 23:56So write back and and do something that might be a little more sexual.
- 24:00Or if you are feeling a little, you know, naughty, write back what you wanna do to the
- 24:05partner and pretend you know, you pretend you're in a book, or pretend that it's somebody
- 24:09you know, reinvent yourself.
- 24:10Pretend it's someone you don't know, and that you're not gonna get judged.
- 24:15Because if anything, that person, your partner that loves you is gonna write back or see that
- 24:20message and be like, oh my god.
- 24:22This person is so hot and amazing.
- 24:24You know?
- 24:24You're not gonna get rejection.
- 24:27Yeah.
- 24:27And that's what people fear.
- 24:29Exactly.
- 24:30And I think your point around, like, just respond.
- 24:32Like, there's a lot of different options you can respond, but it'll really help the
- 24:36relationship if you just do.
- 24:38Don't respond thanks.
- 24:40Yeah.
- 24:42Yes.
- 24:42That's, yeah, thank you for clarifying that as well.
- 24:46Or another one that I don't think is very good is YouTube.
- 24:49Right.
- 24:50Know, the things might be better than things, but it's like, that's not really showing that
- 24:55you actually care at all
- 24:57about it.
- 24:57Bring the intimacy part in there.
- 24:59Exactly.
- 25:01The intimacy, the love, the attraction, all those things.
- 25:03Right.
- 25:05What else do you feel like we have to say today on this topic that we have not yet?
- 25:11I think that people just need to not worry about the results because I think that a lot of
- 25:19people that may not be in the mood will be afraid to say something or afraid to to speak
- 25:24or share dirty things or being playful or being flirty because they say, if I say one thing, my
- 25:30partner is going to take it up 10 notches.
- 25:33And that's why so many people will not respond.
- 25:38And I'm gonna say so many people, I'm gonna say generally women.
- 25:43What I try to tell clients to do, is to be able to talk with each other ahead of time or set
- 25:50expectations and tell them, I really want to get a little more playful.
- 25:55I really wanna be a little more flirty, but I'm kind of afraid or hesitant to because I don't
- 26:00want it to be like every time I say something back that it sex is expected, but I wanna bring
- 26:06some more fun.
- 26:06And so have that conversation with your partner and say to them, you know, if we can do this
- 26:13and you understand that I'm practicing and working through things and trying to do it
- 26:17without those expectations, I'm happy to keep going.
- 26:20And then that can help build that anticipation, and that might even get yourself horny.
- 26:25You know, you don't know.
- 26:26But I think that that's important is to be able to have that conversation because so many
- 26:30people will not do it because they fear the expectation.
- 26:35I think it's a really important point.
- 26:37And the other thing I would add to that is even, like, having in that initial
- 26:40conversation, like, how we want to care for each other if, like, somebody can't respond in
- 26:46that moment.
- 26:46Because, like, sometimes you can get a push notification.
- 26:49You're in a meeting, and it's like, I can't pull up this sexy thing and, like, when I'm in
- 26:53the middle of this meeting.
- 26:54Right.
- 26:54And so, like, while I think it's generally good to, you know, respond quickly if possible, we
- 27:00wanna make sure that if somebody is like, well, I'm in a three hour meeting and, like, I can't
- 27:04step out, like, the other person isn't in limbo, and so talking about how we're going to
- 27:09navigate that.
- 27:10So we're making sure that, yes, that person is getting responded to, but they also understand
- 27:15that, hey.
- 27:16It's, like, oftentimes the middle of a workday, and, you know, it's, like, this could be going
- 27:21on.
- 27:21And so to not be in that, like, anxiety type of state that can happen when we put ourselves out
- 27:27there in this vulnerable way.
- 27:29Absolutely.
- 27:30And they could if they don't know what to say or if they're not necessarily in the mood, they
- 27:32could just be like, oh my god.
- 27:33That was really hot.
- 27:35Right.
- 27:36Something
- 27:36simple.
- 27:37Yep.
- 27:38Exactly.
- 27:39Exactly.
- 27:40Well, beautiful.
- 27:41Well, I wanna make sure that everybody knows about your free gift of how to get the your PDF
- 27:47on 10 things they really want in bed but won't say out loud.
- 27:51Like, that's such an important thing around like, so many times I think we had these
- 27:56desires and these fantasies, and we don't talk to our partners.
- 27:58So I love this.
- 27:59I wanna hear more about that.
- 28:01Also remember everybody that we will have part two, which we're getting ready to film here
- 28:07after this.
- 28:07We'll have how to access that in the links below the video.
- 28:11In part two, we're gonna talk about sex with age, painful sex, how to deal with this, you
- 28:17know, what does age really mean as far as sex, and why why sex can get better with age and not
- 28:23worse contrary to a lot of people's, you know, thoughts.
- 28:26But tell us a little bit more about your free gift as well as how to work with you, and we'll
- 28:31have all of that in the show notes, your links for everybody.
- 28:34Absolutely.
- 28:34Thank you.
- 28:36The 10 things that they really want in bed, but won't say out loud, it is not gender specific,
- 28:40so it could be for any type of a couple.
- 28:43And it's basically certain things that people may not share because of fear or, you know, not
- 28:50being comfortable with that awkwardness.
- 28:52And it just helps you kind of get connected and saying, oh, okay.
- 28:56So now I understand my partner a little bit better.
- 28:59And you can go the website is doctor stacyfriedman dot com and there's always that
- 29:03pop up that says if you wanna be part of the newsletter and get the freebie, you can do
- 29:07that.
- 29:08And, on there, I also have a shop link because I have an e book that's specifically called,
- 29:14Tease Me, Touch Me, and Talk To Me.
- 29:16And that is something that you can get.
- 29:19It's gonna be all live this week.
- 29:22So that could help you with that dirty talk and that, flirting and playfulness, and it gives
- 29:28you actionable steps to be able to take too.
- 29:31So some of the tips that we gave here, you could find in that ebook.
- 29:34It's really, really good.
- 29:35Amazing.
- 29:36Oh, and congratulations on getting that out.
- 29:38That's incredible.
- 29:39Thank you.
- 29:39Thank you.
- 29:40Well, it's been a great joy to have you.
- 29:42I'm so excited for part two, you guys, and make sure you check out all of this information in
- 29:46the links below.
- 29:48Please do subscribe so you can remember to get additional content that we have coming out just
- 29:54next week on these topics and so much more.
- 29:56I'll see you all real soon.
- 30:00Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
- 30:03Please don't keep me a secret.
- 30:04Please share this with your friends.
- 30:06You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.