Latest / Camp Classics / Notes On A Scandal (2006)

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Notes On A Scandal (2006) · Camp Classics

0:00
Get away from her you bitch. Classic.
0:05
He was in the Amazon cry along when she was researching spiders
0:09
right before she died. No.
0:13
Hannah, you. Thought you could call a
0:17
prostitute or a dog at it I. Used to love doggy chow.
0:21
I used to love doggy chow, too. You want to roll around on the
0:25
floor like lovers? Do you want to?
0:27
Fuck me, Barbara, I'm Crystal. Wow.
0:34
Wow, that was an impressive impression.
0:37
Thank you. I adore lasagna.
0:41
I'm baby lame. And welcome to camp.
0:45
Classic a stupid movie about what is it?
0:49
I'm sorry, I'm just. Going to let you a thought
0:52
through a thoughtful. Podcast about stupid movies.
0:57
Every two weeks these two F slurs talk about movies and
1:01
decide if they're camp. And that's that is the two weeks
1:04
are never going to end. I feel like this is a death
1:07
sentence of podcast. Is is paedophilia camp?
1:10
Well, we're going to find out. What if it's a woman then then.
1:19
On today's podcast we are tackling paedophilia.
1:23
Pressure. But we are.
1:26
We are. We are head on.
1:29
But I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm going to smash it.
1:31
You can follow us on Instagram at Camp Classics Podcast and
1:36
make sure you're subscribed on whatever platform you happen to
1:38
be listening on. And if you're feeling extra
1:41
fruity, we have a Gatron where you can get a bonus episode
1:45
every month and support us making the show.
1:48
And it goes down in the Gatreon. Oh yeah.
1:50
Like I know like the main people listening to this, we mainly
1:55
talk about movies, but I feel like it's a therapy session.
1:59
The Gatreon. Yeah.
2:00
Or like STI counselling sessions.
2:03
Yeah. How are you actually since the
2:06
new year? How are you physically like?
2:08
What's been going on? Oh yeah, just crumbling.
2:11
Crumbling. Because you do.
2:12
You hurt your neck. Yeah, yeah.
2:15
I mean it's who cares or you ladies pop your pussy like this
2:19
honestly. Keeping it sexy for 2026?
2:23
Also, I know, like I know we've been done New Year's Eve now,
2:26
but do you have any INS and outs for the year?
2:31
Yeah, bitch, I'm going that. Episode is coming out like the
2:33
end of January so. Well, what are your insurance
2:36
and outs? Have they changed from before?
2:37
My insurance and outs and outs are just the.
2:39
Cookie and cool way. We don't do resolutions now, we
2:41
do insurance and outs. My insurance and outs crystal
2:44
are what they always were. Yeah, Dick in and out of butt
2:48
I'm. A.
2:50
Homosexual. There you go.
2:51
Beautiful. Beautiful.
2:52
Yeah. How about you?
2:54
No, I don't have any. I just, I just thought you
2:56
might. So, yeah, great.
2:58
Food in, shit out. Oh, that's a good one.
3:00
Yeah, these are practical. Yeah.
3:03
Finger in. Yeah.
3:05
Jizz out. Awful.
3:06
I'm a. Homosexual.
3:12
But you guys Speaking of the gay Tron, Yes, yes, yes.
3:16
You could be like Laura and Jonah who've both just joined as
3:20
pre trial members at the time of recording.
3:23
We have no idea if they've committed.
3:26
Are you there? Are you?
3:27
Still with us, Jonah? Yeah.
3:30
They're they're, they're teasing us right now.
3:33
We're. Dirty little edge Nords.
3:35
Oh, that like delicious phase where you're like, is it going
3:38
to happen? Is it not?
3:40
Yeah, and like maybe. Is this a date?
3:44
Like would you put out on the first date?
3:47
Well, Lauren, Jonah clearly won't.
3:49
Making us wait, yeah, because it's going to be good when it
3:51
when we get through. Our recent We recently released
3:55
we. Recently got shadow bands and
3:57
like blocked by several people from the gate shore.
4:01
Never ever go near us again you dirty dirty.
4:05
We did recently get reported on Spotify because I used a Guns
4:09
and Roses sound clip in our barbed wire episode.
4:13
I got a copyright notice, so I had to go in and, you know, do
4:18
some jiggery pokery. But yeah, we recently released a
4:21
Gatreon exclusive episode on the main feed barbed wire.
4:24
So that's a taste of like what you can get over on the
4:27
subscriber platform and I'm still.
4:30
I'm still gagged in groups. That, that was a thing.
4:32
That the copyright thing. Yeah.
4:35
Oh, it's boring. Well, the whole thing will go
4:36
down soon then. It's just fucking Axl Rose.
4:39
Like if anyone's going to get you, it's Axl Rose, isn't it?
4:42
Well, he's listening to this. What does that say about him?
4:45
Do you think he's our one person listening in Iceland?
4:48
That way he lives now he's. Probably on tour.
4:52
Axl Rose No, not camp. Not camp you silent or were you
4:57
silenced. You could also, you know, if
4:59
you're not ready to like, splurge out on the Gatreon, you
5:02
could drop us a little comment on Instagram like, I don't know,
5:06
Rose McGowan. Oh, she's still following us, is
5:10
she? What did she say?
5:11
She commented on our barbed wire episode.
5:14
Just the hottest thing on planet Earth in this movie.
5:16
And she's right. Well, if Rose McGowan says it,
5:19
then she she knows about these things.
5:21
Killed. Liz, I killed the teen dream.
5:23
Deal with it. But it does, it is nice to read
5:25
people's comments, you know, And it's like, it can be a critique
5:29
as well. Oh.
5:30
I don't mind if you slag us off. I find that quite funny.
5:34
I'd actually what I missed from like back in the day when you
5:37
first got on Drag Race, I felt like there was more hate
5:40
comments and I did find them quite funny.
5:43
And like nowadays, it's just a bit like I, you know, every now
5:46
and again, if I if I do something that's like linked
5:49
with something like an association or something, every
5:51
now and again, I'll be like, I look at you doing woman face and
5:55
it's like, obviously my clown drag is very do you.
5:59
Think I don't get those comments anymore.
6:01
Or do you still get them? Oh my God, yeah, because I go
6:03
viral sometimes talking about like Palestine or trans rights
6:09
and yeah it's just it'll be 10s of people calling me a freak F
6:13
slur clown. It feels reductive.
6:17
If you wanna see him, I can. I can show I.
6:20
Just quite like them when they're directed at me though,
6:21
right? Because it's funny.
6:23
I think it's funny too. I screenshot them.
6:24
I like screenshotting them and then looking at them next to
6:26
their profile. That's wonderful.
6:28
Yeah. But yeah.
6:29
So if you do want to send some hate our way, bring it on.
6:33
We're ready for you. Fuck me gently with the
6:35
chainsaw. Or you could be like Suzanne,
6:37
who sent us some love. I'll go on.
6:39
Suzanne said. So glad I discovered Kemp
6:41
Classics in the past year. Looking forward to more in 2026.
6:44
The recent Gremlins episode had me remembering this Key and Peel
6:47
sketch about the Gremlins 2 movie.
6:49
Oh, did you send it to me? Yeah, it's so funny.
6:53
And it's bang on. Yeah, yeah.
6:55
Vegetable gremlin, Broccoli gremlin, electric Gremlin.
6:59
It's so good. We should.
7:00
We'll have to cover gremlins too at some point. 100% It's a that
7:04
is a worse movie that is somehow better.
7:06
Yeah. Yeah.
7:07
Thanks, Suzanne. But baby, what makes a camp
7:09
classic? Well, because of the movie that
7:12
we are discussing today, I would really appreciate in the edit if
7:16
you could just get some like really over the top orchestral
7:19
scores coming. Really.
7:20
Eerie strings. Yeah, just like not us getting a
7:23
copyright infringement from Philip Glass.
7:28
I'm going to channel my Judi Dench now.
7:32
I am a trained actor so I should be able to just jump in the
7:38
camp. Classic is something that
7:40
unlocks queer joy. I want to get a wetty.
7:44
It needs to be stupid. It needs to have an ongoing
7:47
legacy and inform queer pop culture.
7:50
It needs to be anti mainstream underdog flop vibes that's been
7:53
reclaimed by the F slurs. Love it.
7:59
That was it, the amount I literally gave it my oh you just
8:03
went love it. Loves it.
8:05
I was trying to do a Judi Dench. I can't do it.
8:08
It's really hard. I don't think I did it
8:10
necessarily, no. But you, you gave Posh.
8:13
Yeah, I bought it. Yeah.
8:16
Yeah. Today we're covering notes on a
8:18
scandal. You're not young.
8:20
It's a different kind of movie for us.
8:22
Well. We we have dipped our toes into
8:26
Lesbo. I have films we've done, but I'm
8:29
a cheerleader. We have Love, Lies, Bleeding.
8:32
Yes. What else have we done?
8:35
Burlesque is that. Basic Instinct.
8:38
Yes. Bisexual.
8:40
Yeah. Bisexual panic?
8:42
Yeah. Lesbian lesbian.
8:46
There's a lesbian in First Wives Club.
8:49
Oh, yes, there is. OK, so we've done our we've,
8:52
we've done our fair bit of lesbian, Yeah.
8:54
This one's very like, different, different kind of lesbian.
8:58
It's a completely. Different type of film.
8:59
We've never. This is like full on drama.
9:02
High camp melodrama. This movie, it, it, yeah, it's,
9:08
it's, it's taking itself very seriously.
9:11
And. And I feel like because of how
9:13
seriously it takes itself, when you get to business now and you
9:16
give us its background, we're going to be in a different
9:19
territory to the films we normally discuss on this.
9:22
Yeah, I don't. I actually don't have much
9:24
context of this movie because when like a small movie that is
9:30
prestigious gets made, there isn't like salacious Hollywood
9:34
Reporter style tell alls about people bitching at each other on
9:38
set. Which other movies?
9:40
Definitely. You get that full treatment,
9:42
don't you? You get all the gossip.
9:43
I've got no gossip but you. Must have critical acclaim for
9:46
this one, yes? So this movie, Notes on a
9:48
Scandal, was released in 2006, starring, of course, Judi Dench
9:53
and Kate Blanchett. Dench versus Blanchett.
9:57
It was made for $15 million, and it grossed in nearly 50 million
10:01
worldwide. So it was a big hit made back
10:03
its budget. It has 87% on Rotten Tomatoes,
10:08
one of the highest movies we've covered, I'd say.
10:12
Yeah, yeah, we're very. Normally in the 20s, yeah.
10:16
Yeah, so, you know, it's a well respected movie and it was
10:20
nominated for loads of awards, including.
10:24
Razzies. No razzies.
10:26
Oh yeah. Controversial I.
10:28
Know I know. No Razzies.
10:30
It was nominated for Best Actress and Best Supporting
10:32
Actress for Judy and Cate Blanchett.
10:35
It was adapted from a book of the same name by Zoe Heller and
10:40
it is loosely based on what is her name Mary.
10:46
It's loosely based, Mary. Kay Olsen.
10:48
Mary Olsen. It's loosely based on the Olsen
10:51
twins. The story.
10:52
Of Mary Kay Letourneau, who was an American School school
10:59
teacher who had a baby with her 12 year old student and ended up
11:03
marrying him and that story was then made into another movie
11:06
called May December starring Julianne, which.
11:08
I haven't seen. Natalie Portman should.
11:10
We talk about it on the podcast I.
11:12
Don't know. Oh, really?
11:14
OK. It's tough, but we'll get into
11:16
the the parallels of that a bit. But yeah, the writer of this
11:20
book, Zoe Heller, I think, was inspired by that story and then
11:22
was like, but what if it was British, Samantha?
11:26
Jones What's? Your history with the movie.
11:30
I think I might have watched it before when it was released
11:34
maybe and. Then you watch it again for
11:36
this, yeah. And that's it.
11:38
And I, Yeah. I mean, I think it's just one of
11:39
those things, isn't it? You throw around a name like
11:41
Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett and you're like, well, it must
11:45
be a good film. And yeah, yeah.
11:47
I had never seen it before, like about a year ago, and I think we
11:51
got so many requests for it. I was like, I don't want to
11:53
watch this movie. And I loved it.
11:56
And then it was in the suggestion sack, wasn't it?
11:58
And now here we are, and. That's what happens.
12:01
What? Happens.
12:01
So let's get into the plot. Yeah, I mean this all.
12:05
I feel a bit nervous at the moment.
12:07
Oh, just the whole thing. This whole experience is just
12:09
making me a bit nervy because there is a plot.
12:13
There is a plot, yeah. But I just feel like normally,
12:16
normally we just sort of dive into like slop that doesn't have
12:20
any real plot. You're like normally normally
12:23
I'm just on the lookout for like a week or something.
12:26
Can I loosely? Pinned together fight scenes or
12:29
musical numbers? Yeah.
12:30
And then just something that's like gay and then you shout that
12:32
out. And so basically I just, I'm not
12:34
sure how qualified I feel to talk about a movie that has a
12:38
coherent plot line with performances that are probably
12:42
quite good. Yeah.
12:44
So it's. New territory.
12:46
It's new. Territory.
12:47
So yeah, I'm up for it, but I'm just also a little bit nervous
12:49
because this isn't normally the kind of stuff we talk about.
12:52
Oh my. God, I believe in you.
12:54
Although you know we're not going to escape the The Woke
12:58
Film Review podcast stations anytime soon.
13:01
I can tell you that doing this movie bit of pressure, but I'm
13:05
sure it'll be fine. I'm going to smash it.
13:07
OK, so we meet Barbara Covet, played by Judi Dench.
13:10
She's a history teacher at a comprehensive school in London.
13:13
She's. Also a complete cunt.
13:15
She is a cow. She is.
13:18
An old boot I've written down. She describes herself as a
13:22
battle out. She is.
13:23
The definition it's like. Spinster.
13:26
Yeah, she lady, she is. Not here to play and she is
13:29
taking down anyone and oh honey, you think the library's open?
13:33
Just you wait until you get a read from old Barbara because
13:36
she's going to fucking tell you a new one with like.
13:39
The most flowery prose. I love Barbara, so she's
13:45
narrating this whole movie because she's writing it in her
13:47
diary. So you just, whenever you need
13:51
it, Barbara's there to just give you a little cutting witticism.
13:56
Nasty. Yeah, it's like nasty, but
13:59
without, like, being too brutal. It's like, it's like she uses
14:02
vocabulary that you would never use to just to add an extra
14:06
layer of how dumb and pathetic you are, doesn't she?
14:09
Yeah. She's the first scene is her
14:12
just describing the contempt she has for the students and
14:16
teachers at the school she works.
14:17
Very. Jarring because where we are, we
14:20
are in like, I don't know where Islington.
14:22
No, it is Islington, but it's like, obviously she's one type
14:25
of Islington posh. And then it looks pretty rough
14:29
ass, the school. And you are just like, how has
14:31
Barbara ended up teaching there? Because she she is very, very
14:36
like thespian, isn't she? Yeah.
14:38
She's kind of giving. What's that Lady Hyacinth
14:42
bouquet? Yeah.
14:43
Yeah, yeah, it's very that she's.
14:45
Just she thinks she's better than it all.
14:47
And you know what? I relate.
14:48
What does she? Say about the school, she
14:49
compared She's Have you got it like I've got?
14:52
This she's she's standing in the window looking at all the kids
14:55
coming in and she goes here. Come the local pubescent pros,
15:00
the future plumbers and shop assistants, and doubtless the
15:03
odd terrorist too. In the old days we confiscated
15:10
cigarettes and wack mags. Now it's knives and crack
15:14
cocaine. I mean, set up the scene, Mama.
15:18
Yeah, You know what I mean? Like it's.
15:20
It's wonderful and also. We've all been there, but
15:23
perhaps not with that level of vocabulary to to think that,
15:26
yeah. Yeah, Judi Dench is fucking
15:28
acting her heart out in this movie and you are just convinced
15:31
that she is this lady. Like it is so believable.
15:34
Well, it. Again, it's it's what I've said
15:36
just before about this podcast. It's new territory for us.
15:40
Someone who can just act to the point where we believe they're
15:44
the character. I'm not sure.
15:47
Maybe Michelle Pfeiffer? Is Catwoman the closest?
15:50
I guess Judy is kind of doing an M thing here, isn't she?
15:54
She's kind of doing the, like, bitter teacher version of M from
15:59
James Bond. So you're like, already you feel
16:02
safe because you, like, you've seen her play stern lady before,
16:06
but now it's just got this bitter, nasty twist.
16:09
And it's. Yeah.
16:10
And also the thing I do really like about the way she views the
16:13
world, obviously, yeah, I can just relate to her actually.
16:18
But I also like that it's although she's like, older and
16:21
although she's bitter and although she's an old boot,
16:25
she's smart with what she's saying.
16:27
Like her takedowns of people are pretty nasty.
16:32
And on it, they're not just like, oh, you would say that
16:34
because you're a jealous old hag.
16:37
Yeah. It's like she's on the money
16:38
with most of the stuff. You mean like when she calls the
16:41
other teacher fat? Yep.
16:46
So then a new art teacher joins the school, and what's her name?
16:52
I'm sorry this is a camp classic just because of her name.
16:55
Yes, Sheba Heart Sheba. Heart short for Bathsheba.
17:00
I didn't get that. That's like a next level of
17:04
like, that's next level posh. If you're called Bathsheba.
17:07
Do you know anyone called Bathsheba?
17:08
I do not like my accents. Bath Sheba.
17:11
Bathsheba. This is directly from the book,
17:14
and it's we, we looked it up. It's a biblical reference.
17:18
She was the Queen of Sheba. Oh, OK.
17:22
And her whole story is about rape.
17:25
Oh, so. And but there's like this
17:27
question about whether or not she was raped or did she want
17:30
it? And so that this is like the
17:33
biblical question. I haven't looked into it too
17:36
deeply, but they've clearly gone tell.
17:38
Yeah. But you're saying you'll do,
17:39
you'll do one of those things we all do.
17:41
You're reading with like authority.
17:42
And then as you're speaking, you're like, oh, actually, I
17:44
don't know if I should talk about this because I'm kind of
17:46
making it up. But they've clearly been like,
17:49
that's her story. What if 2006, what would that
17:54
look like in 2006? I know what it would look like.
17:56
You know, women's rights, has feminism gone too far, etcetera.
18:01
So. But again, from the get go she
18:04
was getting read to filth by this narration isn't.
18:07
She Have you got anything I've got?
18:09
It's hard to read this wispy novice in her Tweedy tramp coat
18:16
again. I'm like, read her to Phil.
18:18
Is she? A Sphinx or simply stupid?
18:22
Again, I'm like, get her Jade now.
18:26
It reminds me, do you remember our friend Cat?
18:28
Like we had a fight with someone on the street once and he was
18:33
like, I don't remember what they were fighting about, but it was
18:35
like a drunken late night encounter.
18:37
And she said to him, what are you going to do?
18:38
You're going to go home and write about in your diary.
18:43
I remember that it's. Very this because that is what
18:46
Judy's going to do. Yeah, she's going to go, whoa,
18:51
heaven help you if you end up in Judy Dentures diary.
18:54
You will not enjoy it. More and then more follows in
18:59
this, in this opening scene of just the most incredible
19:03
dialogue, isn't it? It's.
19:05
Sensational, so she's. So we see Sheba with another
19:09
school teacher and then what did she call her?
19:12
Oh, I don't have fatty. Hoggers.
19:17
That's a little nickname for a fatty.
19:18
Hoggers, the blonde and the pig and knickers.
19:23
The. Blonde and the pig and knickers.
19:27
I think fuck all of this language that we all use online
19:30
now we need to go back to what Judy Dench is saying this and
19:33
start calling people pig and knickers.
19:38
Wispy novice speaks. It's also quite great because
19:44
it's like the Sphinx comment. Whoever wrote that about Cate
19:47
Blanchett is also like, writing it about Cate Blanchett's face
19:51
because she doesn't like her sphinx.
19:53
Yeah, she does look a bit wispy. Yeah.
19:55
So it's whoever's actually is actually just going in.
19:58
Yeah. Cate Blanche.
19:59
You're right. Cate Blanche does look like Cate
20:00
Blanche in this film. I.
20:01
Wonder how many Yeah of Judy's lines are directly from the
20:06
book, or if they've like, toned it up or toned it down?
20:10
Yeah, but yeah, Barbara is not immediately attracted to her,
20:14
but they, she, there's something about her, isn't there?
20:16
And so they strike up a friendship for Barbara, though
20:21
this friendship quickly turns to infatuation and obsession.
20:25
We've. All been there.
20:27
Sheba is married to the much older Richard, played by Bill
20:31
Nighy, and she's just re entering the workforce after
20:35
devoting herself to her son with Down syndrome and.
20:38
So has has have we been to their house yet?
20:42
No, No, we haven't. OK.
20:43
I just want to check that. Yeah.
20:44
So maybe we have no. Because I think, doesn't she
20:49
befriend you and go, you must come over?
20:51
Yes. And that's when we hear a go.
20:53
I adore lasagna. Yes, you're right.
20:55
So this. Is what's happening.
20:56
Like basically, Judi Dench is kind of getting the hots for
21:00
Cate Blanchett a bit and she gets invited over and that.
21:03
Turns here from thinking that Cate Blanchett is this, like,
21:06
hippie dippie Liberal Party, you know, nothing.
21:11
Yeah, to I've got a chance. Oh, I've had an invitation to
21:15
lunch. And then we get this great scene
21:17
of Judy getting a little makeover.
21:21
And we know now we know we're in a very different territory to
21:24
the films we normally cover on this because we have covered
21:27
many a makeover. And like normally, we know the
21:30
scene we're trying on a few different outfits.
21:33
Some look good, some don't. Some look a bit Katie.
21:35
Can style is playing, yeah. Like, you know, oh, I'm not
21:39
going to wear that. That's too revealing.
21:41
Or, you know, should we cut your hair up to here?
21:43
Should we? We've seen it.
21:44
It's fabulous. Talk us with the makeover in
21:47
this. Well, it's.
21:48
Just a very sad London salon and a very sad little blow out,
21:52
isn't it? But it's.
21:53
Like I wrote, what in the Judy Andrews is going on with the
21:56
hair? She gets like, she gets her
21:59
curlers put in. Yeah.
22:00
And. She's but she's got a very thin.
22:02
There's no tracks in there. There's no, there's definitely
22:04
no wig because no, because we are seeing scout putty.
22:09
There's no wig. There's no wig, and she's got
22:12
like a little smart blazer and a very little starched collar.
22:15
Yeah, the trick is to make it to make an effort but not appear
22:18
you've made an effort. And.
22:20
She loves the lasagna as well, you know, she said to her.
22:22
I adore lasagna. I adore.
22:23
Lasagna Lasagna disagrees with my bowels, but.
22:26
Yeah, I'll have a small portion, Judy trotting up the stairs in a
22:29
little court shoe. Yes.
22:32
Carrying flowers. Ready to get some fucking
22:35
Blanchett pussy? Yeah, sorry, but that's what
22:38
that is what she's after. Yeah, she doesn't.
22:41
She's not looking to hold hands. She wants to lick well.
22:43
She does want to get a stroking, no?
22:45
We're getting that. But then.
22:47
So then she meets the family for the Yeah, she.
22:49
Meets the family and she again. Hates again, I'm like love you
22:52
Judo because she hates family yeah, she hates all of them she
22:55
hates the. Slutty daughter what a.
22:57
Mortifying family tradition. It's like, speak your truth,
23:02
Judy. How old is that daughter as
23:05
well? I don't know, She's kind of
23:06
giving like 17, yeah, I guess, but.
23:09
Then also looks younger and then.
23:11
But, you know, maybe it's just this film.
23:13
This film does like to play with age, doesn't it?
23:16
Foreshadowing. Yeah.
23:18
Yeah. I mean, imagine Cate Blanchett's
23:21
husband is 20 years older than her.
23:24
Imagine that. Can you imagine if that was
23:27
reversed? What would that be like?
23:31
It really makes you think, doesn't it?
23:32
So yeah, so then so she's basically having dinner with
23:35
them, doesn't she? And it's just she hates them.
23:38
She hates. Them she's but she's obsessed
23:41
with Cate Blanchett, who she thinks is like this poor woman
23:44
who's been trapped by circumstances and she's just
23:46
making up all sorts of narratives.
23:48
I, I, I love the scene where Cate Blanchett's daughter is
23:51
like, why are you all poshed up? And it's just like, it's really
23:58
Spears duty Dunch, isn't it 'cause she's just made this big
24:00
thing about like, I'm gonna make an effort, but I'm not gonna
24:02
look like I made an effort. But she really looks like she's
24:04
made an effort for her. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:06
For. Her and.
24:07
And then she has to lie and say, oh, she's got an appointment in
24:10
town. Yeah, but yeah.
24:12
There is there is a weird weapons moment where she
24:14
collects some of Cate Blanchett's hair and you are
24:17
just like, oh, what in the sorcery is about to happen here?
24:20
Yeah, she's intense. She's let's just put it, she's
24:23
just intense. We've all got friends that are a
24:25
bit intense. She's.
24:27
Forceful, but yeah, so the the friendship is turning from into
24:32
infatuation and obsession. And then Barbara witnesses Sheba
24:39
in a sexual encounter with a 15 year old student Paint.
24:41
The scene. So what's happening?
24:43
So it's the school. Christmas concert and they're
24:46
doing a big show on stage and Barbara's saving a seat for for
24:52
Sheba. Yeah, but she can't find.
24:54
Sheba's not there. Where is she?
24:55
So she goes looking for her and finds her in I guess some.
24:59
Sort of tech work room, yeah, something like that, yeah.
25:01
And Sheba's blowing a 15 year old.
25:05
I mean, let's, yeah. She is blowing.
25:08
Hard. Yeah.
25:10
And this is where it should be pointed out that they really
25:13
went there with the castings. I don't know how old he was.
25:16
He looks like a young 15 year old he was. 16.
25:21
Yeah, I mean, but they, they it's not.
25:23
It's not OK they. Decided to go let's let's really
25:27
choose someone that looks like 13 years old like they went
25:30
there with that he looks. Like a 13 year old trying to
25:33
look like a 16 year old. Yeah, it's, it's hard to watch
25:38
like that. Don't worry.
25:38
He takes his shirt off and you're just like, that is a
25:41
child. But you know, I think fair play
25:44
to them if they're making this film and they're making it with
25:46
like true conviction of like what what the story is about.
25:50
It's I guess that's kind of what you need to be because they
25:53
could have just cast like someone that looked like that
25:56
was 16, that looked like 18. You're right.
25:58
You're right. It definitely makes it really
26:01
uncomfortable. Yeah, we'll get into like
26:03
whether or not I think that's effective, I guess maybe when we
26:07
get to the end of the movie. But like, yeah, they they, they
26:10
do it. They do the thing and she's.
26:11
Not having any of it, why would she?
26:14
Barbara confronts Sheba, and Sheba tells the story of how
26:18
they got involved. You know, he dedicated his goal
26:21
to me. I thought it was amusing.
26:23
That's. Actually a really good
26:25
impression of her. And she begs Barbara not to tell
26:28
the school until after Christmas.
26:30
But Barbara realizes this is the leverage.
26:33
Oh. Honey, she's like, I'm going to
26:35
utilize this now to crack. Your legs wide open.
26:39
Yeah. So she says she's got no
26:42
intention of reporting her, providing Sheba ends the
26:45
relationship immediately and she plans to use the affair as a
26:48
means of manipulating her. And she's like, which I have.
26:52
Respect for her doing that because also like I'm sorry,
26:57
Kate Blanchett is the one sucking off a 15 year old.
27:01
Yeah. You know, like that's, that's,
27:05
you know, give her a taste of her own medicine.
27:07
Let's. Use that as a way to get
27:10
something for us. Yeah, You know, yeah.
27:13
Yeah, let's not do the right thing, which is probably report
27:16
this situation. Immediately.
27:17
Yeah, No, let's. Find a weakness in someone that
27:20
we want to. Fuck.
27:21
And then use that, Yeah. And just really see what we can,
27:25
how we can turn this to our own ends.
27:31
What else was I going to say about this?
27:33
Oh, yeah. And then there's like, some
27:34
great, like, diary bits now where she's like, oh, we're
27:37
confidants. We're locked in Earth.
27:40
Our secret is drawing us ever closer together.
27:42
Like it's so great. I mean, the woman, bless her,
27:47
she's fucking deluded. But is being deluded a crime?
27:49
No, it's it's encouraged, I think.
27:52
But again, it's like it's you've got all of this like romantic,
27:55
like floppy doppy language and we're just everything about the
27:58
filmography is so like grey and great.
28:02
Oh, it's so 2006. It's like so dumb.
28:07
Yeah, London isn't it? Even though.
28:09
They're rich Londoners. It's just like everything's just
28:12
like there's no life in anything because yeah.
28:15
Like and that the score, we haven't talked about that, but
28:17
like it is nuts. It is.
28:19
Spiraling out of control by this it's.
28:21
Giving like Vertigo, like everything is so dramatic.
28:25
I was listening to this this morning while I was shaving and
28:27
I was like, I am suddenly the main character in a
28:29
psychological thriller. Like everything I do is the most
28:33
dramatic thing that has ever happened.
28:35
It's it's great. If you ever want to feel
28:38
unhinged or like maybe you're about to be murdered in a sexual
28:42
way, put the soundtrack on. That sounds great.
28:45
Sign me up. But then so then, yeah.
28:48
So we're under the impression. Sheba's going to end it.
28:52
But then he's got good game, hasn't he?
28:55
He's got lines, he's got bars. There's a bit where he says to
29:01
her like, so Sheba's no, Sheba identifies.
29:05
What is it before? Has she identified that he's a
29:09
trouble child? I think she went maybe when she
29:12
was telling Barbara the story about how they got together.
29:15
Oh, she's like. Yeah.
29:16
She's like he tells her that his dad is abusive and his mum is
29:21
dying. And he's actually got a talent
29:23
for art, and she's an art teacher.
29:25
And she thinks giving one-on-one, that's how she's
29:27
explaining it to him. And as part of that flashback,
29:30
he goes, are you a good cook, miss?
29:33
And she's like, oh, no, don't be silly.
29:35
And he goes, do you suck? And I was just, like, I put,
29:38
well played. It's a good line.
29:40
It's a great line. Very snappy.
29:42
Yeah. And she's just like falling for
29:44
it. He's got some very he's got some
29:46
very strong lines. I've been dreaming about your
29:48
hot sweet cunt all morning. Yeah, there's another one he
29:53
hasn't. Mentioned it, but he's Irish,
29:54
Yeah. Why is he Irish?
29:56
He also. Sends this text to her.
29:58
Happy Christmas Miss Let, I need to get more into that.
30:01
There you go, happy Christmas miss, Wish I was fucking your
30:05
blind right now. And it's on like a Nokia 3310
30:11
just. Like, yeah, he's very direct,
30:14
He's very to the point. But yeah, it's working, isn't
30:18
it? Yeah.
30:19
I mean, we shouldn't really be laughing about this 15 year old,
30:22
but you have to but. Also if you were in his boat and
30:27
you just wanted to fuck your teacher I think.
30:29
That's one of the big problems this movie has is that it it
30:33
makes it seem kind of understandable.
30:38
Does it a little. It's like it's this is what he
30:40
wanted. Do you know what I mean?
30:42
Oh. OK, Yeah.
30:43
Oh yeah. Oh, didn't think about that.
30:46
Because I'm kind of like, he's a horny teenager.
30:49
Yeah. I mean.
30:49
He is a horny teenager. It's very wrong though.
30:54
Oh, no, I know it's very wrong, but like I think maybe from his
30:56
perspective, because I think the thing and we're sort of jumping
30:59
all over the place here because as I said, this is new
31:01
territory. Not only are we dealing with a
31:03
film where people can act, there's a plot, we're also
31:06
dealing with an incredibly sensitive, complex subject
31:09
matter which I don't think we're capable to talk about.
31:11
No. But what I will say is they are
31:14
very good at making him very one note stupid teenager.
31:18
Like, yes, he is not emotionally mature.
31:21
No, he, the way he talks to her is very, very childlike.
31:27
There's not, there's not this sense the the maturity at all
31:30
about him. So I find it interesting, but
31:33
it's hard being a teenager. Yeah, let's.
31:35
Move on. Let's move swiftly along.
31:37
Where? Are we in this movie?
31:39
So it's, I think now it's the Christmas break and Barbara
31:42
visits her sister and. She's also been saying as well,
31:45
hasn't she? So some of this language is
31:47
building in as well. Like another thing she says is I
31:49
could gain everything now. So for Barbara, the stakes are
31:52
high. She's seen this weakness
31:54
situation. Yeah.
31:56
And she's going for it. And we're sort of led to believe
31:58
that Sheba's like she's touched the fire and she's like, I'm
32:02
never going to do that. Yes, yeah, yeah, exactly.
32:04
So Barbara visits her sister, who asks about another young
32:07
teacher that Barbara had befriended.
32:09
And we, we heard about this woman before.
32:11
At this point, maybe, But Barbara stiffly says.
32:14
Jennifer Yeah. Barbara stiffly says that the
32:16
young teacher moved away. Barbara's sister asks if she has
32:19
any other female friends, strongly implying she thinks
32:22
Barbara's a lesbian, but she. Didn't just move away, she moved
32:25
to Stoke, which I thought was quite a camp line there.
32:28
She's. Got a fiance.
32:31
Barbara insists she has no idea what her sister was talking
32:33
about, but it's it's that's kind of a very heartbreaking moment.
32:36
Her sister tries to reach out to her.
32:37
She's trying to say like, I know that you may be are gay and it
32:41
would be fine with me if that was the case.
32:44
And Barbara's like, Nope, walls are up.
32:47
Yep, Yep. Sheba has told Barbara that the
32:50
affair is over and tries to stop and tries to stop seeing
32:55
Stephen, but he's very persistent and she finds herself
32:58
unable to stop well. She's literally getting railed.
33:01
She's. Getting railed on train tracks.
33:03
Yeah, yeah, she's sneaking out over Christmas.
33:06
She also brings him into her shed in her back garden, which I
33:10
think is fucking stupid. Oh.
33:12
Yeah, that's the Fox spot. Do not.
33:14
Use property on your own estate but camp clue.
33:20
Go on they're. Like lying together post coitus
33:23
and she puts on Susie and the banshees.
33:25
Oh. OK.
33:26
Yeah, I just think. Now we've 3 movies, showgirls,
33:30
Batman Returns, notes on a scandal all.
33:32
Doing it, yeah. I mean, that scene was really
33:34
just like, it felt gross, didn't it?
33:36
So gross. It really, I, I thought it was
33:39
clever the way he puts on like a hat he finds in the in the art
33:44
shed. And she's like, take that out.
33:48
Yeah, because it's for, it's a costume she's making for her
33:51
son, who is like the same age as him.
33:54
And she's like, she sees herself there.
33:57
And I think another thing that's really smart, a smart choice, I
34:01
don't think necessarily they make the smartest choices all
34:03
the way through the film. But another smart choice I think
34:06
is you never get turned on by their interactions, which I
34:11
think I think lots of people, lots of film makers have done
34:14
this before, whether it's a guy hooking up with a younger girl,
34:18
vice versa, where there's like more of a like, although he's
34:21
like sexual and although he's seducing her and although he's
34:24
saying all of these lines, they're not strong enough to
34:28
kind of make you think, oh, that's kind of hot.
34:31
It's yeah, it's. Almost embarrassing, like you're
34:34
like, oh, I've I can imagine sending that text, but you
34:38
could. Imagine them totally doing this
34:39
where he's like whispering in her ear and stuff and it gets a
34:42
bit exciting for you. You're.
34:43
So right seen. To just not like.
34:46
I haven't seen Lolita, but I can imagine in that, which is like
34:50
the gender swap version that yeah, it's played for like
34:54
sexual titillation. I mean, there's so many movies
34:56
where an older man and like a young woman and it's like no
35:00
one's like questions whether or not that's hot.
35:03
It's awful, but it's. Just it's a clever way they've
35:05
done it because he does have a huge amount of sexual power over
35:08
her and he's still doing all of the things to seduce her, but
35:11
it's just not reading in a sexual you're so.
35:14
Right, that's a good point and. So meanwhile she's getting
35:17
fucked. Also, as I'm about to say the
35:19
fuck of her life. There's something about his
35:21
small, but it's just not lying that it is.
35:24
It's just you're just like you're gross when she's doing
35:27
it. Yeah.
35:28
There's no way that is good sex, no.
35:32
And it's like he doesn't have any wit like when they're
35:34
smoking afterwards, they've got nothing in common.
35:37
He doesn't have any funny lines. And it's like you are just like
35:41
you are a psychopath who's pretending to be a teenage girl
35:44
now. It's it's it's a weird world,
35:47
but I guess that's the world of paedophilia people.
35:50
But while this is happening, all we're getting sad because
35:57
Porpoise is dying, yeah. And like, just to really make it
36:00
clear what kind of woman Barbara is, unless, in case you weren't
36:03
clear, she's also a crazy cat lady.
36:05
She's got nothing going on. Yeah, she's very upset.
36:09
Her cat is dying, so she goes over to Sheba's house.
36:13
And like, she she like, we're getting like actual sort of a
36:16
sense of like how unhinged Barbara is because like, yeah,
36:19
she's been slagging her off. She's been bitchy.
36:23
But she's she's kind of, you know, in her own Swedish way,
36:27
thinks that she's deluded that she can hook up with her.
36:30
But we're now sort of seeing more of a desperation side to
36:32
her because she like, basically stops the car, doesn't she?
36:35
She drags her out and she's like, you need to help me.
36:38
My pussy is dying, right? This hasn't.
36:40
Even happened yet? Oh, so she's at her house and
36:43
she's upset. She turns to Sheba for comfort,
36:46
and this is where we get the stroking scene.
36:49
Oh yeah, and. We.
36:53
Used to tries to. What she says was we used to
36:56
stroke each other at school and then close your eyes.
37:01
Doesn't work if you don't close your eyes and then.
37:03
Standing there in the kitchen and it's a very sensuous
37:07
stroking. And listen, from what my friends
37:11
that are lesbians have told me, there's a lot of lot in a
37:13
stroke, and she's getting ready to show her stroking skills in
37:18
the sea. My husband loves a stroke and I
37:26
don't even mean in a sexual way if we are sat anywhere become.
37:29
Sexual then, if we are. Sat next to each other anywhere,
37:33
cinema, dinner, on the couch. I have to be stroking his.
37:36
Arm. Does he give you a duty?
37:37
Does he, Barbara? You.
37:38
Yeah. And so, yes.
37:40
And so we're watching this movie.
37:41
He's like, I don't like this scene.
37:44
Because he can see himself as Barbara.
37:45
Oh my God. But it's so funny.
37:49
Yeah. Because she's being made to,
37:51
like, close her eyes. And then Barbara utters, there's
37:56
a good girl. And then she's like, oh God, no.
38:00
And she? Kind of gets a sense that this
38:02
is turning a bit sexual and she does not like it.
38:04
So she tries to rebuff Barbara and that's when Barbara sees
38:08
Stephen going into her shed and she realizes the affair is still
38:13
on. She the phone rings, she picks
38:15
it up and she hears Stephen saying I've been dreaming about
38:18
your hot sweet cunt all morning and and she realizes what's
38:22
going on. So Barbara storms out of the
38:25
house. She's.
38:26
She's going to say you're not young.
38:28
Exactly, and then they have a big conversation on the road.
38:31
You're not young once. He's had his fill.
38:34
He'll discard you like an old rag.
38:36
You're not young. I say this to help you one.
38:41
Of the best lines in the movie. It's incredible, and I think
38:46
this is when Sheba actually decides she's going to end it.
38:50
Anyway, that's all been a bit murky.
38:51
It's been a bit murky. The.
38:53
The threat of being discovered now is real.
38:56
Real. So Sheba is in big, big trouble.
38:58
Now and then Barbara's cat dies and so she goes back to the
39:02
house to get comforted by Sheba. But Sheba is late for a school
39:07
play, she does not have time for it and her family is sick to
39:09
fucking death of her. Like, what is that old witch
39:12
doing here? And so she believes and
39:15
Barbara's like, oh, I can't count on you at all.
39:18
And that's when she snaps and decides she's going to tell.
39:22
She says to Sheba here, someone has died.
39:26
Incredible line you. Owe me this.
39:29
You owe me this. So Barbara reveals the affair in
39:34
like a kind of sly, sneaky way to another teacher at the
39:37
school. And I won't get into how that
39:39
happens, maybe, but the affair comes out, Stephen's mother
39:43
comes over to Sheba's house and slaps the fuck out of her and
39:46
what? We've also found out before this
39:48
is that he was lying about, he's not from this like hard to do
39:52
background, his parents are there, blah blah blah.
39:55
But again, slightly problematic that he's maybe manipulated her.
39:59
And yeah. Yeah, but yeah, back to the good
40:02
stuff. Yeah, she gets a fucking hard
40:04
slap. Yeah, she.
40:05
Sure does. And it all comes out the presser
40:07
like having a field day. She gets arrested, she loses her
40:10
job. It's like front page news.
40:12
So what's? Barbara going to do well.
40:14
Barbara, the headmaster, accuses Barbara of not of knowing about
40:17
the affair and not notifying the authorities.
40:19
He and he also relearns and tells the audience that this
40:25
Jennifer we've heard about has a restraining order against
40:28
Barbara. So this is not the first teacher
40:29
that Barbara's had a thing for. He makes Barbara go into early
40:32
retirement and forces her out of the school, but at this point,
40:36
Sheba doesn't know that Barbara's the reason everyone
40:39
has found out. I don't know how she doesn't
40:41
know that, but she doesn't. So she gets kicked out of her
40:44
house and moves into Barbara's place because she but.
40:47
Also, she has an argument with her husband.
40:49
I don't know, because he's shamed as well.
40:51
And then he goes, he says it like it's a universal thing.
40:54
Everybody wants someone young. I get it.
40:57
It's like, OK, do we all? Yeah, again, it's.
41:00
Like another line of like, yeah. What is that?
41:04
Yeah. What does this movie think about
41:06
all of Yeah? Because everybody here seems to
41:10
be like wanting to go out with people a lot younger and.
41:13
Maybe, maybe the movie thinks everyone's bad for that, but I'm
41:16
not totally convinced it does. But the movie does definitely
41:20
seem to be saying there's parallel between Bill Nye and
41:23
Cate Blanchett with their twenty year age difference and Cate
41:25
Blanchett and a 15 year old with their twenty year difference and
41:30
and. Also the grossness, the apparent
41:32
grossness of Judy with Kate being in the older women as
41:35
well. Yeah, it's complicated, but a
41:38
tangled. Web but.
41:40
You know, Sheba's got nowhere to live now.
41:42
Yeah, so. She moves into Barbara's flat
41:47
and they fall. In love.
41:49
The end well through. Barbaras eyes they like having
41:52
these beautiful moments and suddenly Diaries getting very
41:56
like love lawn and like these precious moments together and
42:00
Gold Star. Days all over the place yeah,
42:04
she's there's a scene of her watching Sheba sleep and she's
42:08
like considering touching her leg and then she just like moves
42:11
the blanket over her sees. A peek of ankle?
42:14
Yeah. The press are hounding Sheba,
42:17
and she's kind of getting to a breaking point, isn't she?
42:19
And then she does like, a really fab makeover moment because she
42:23
used to be like a punk goth girl in her youth.
42:26
And she's like, fuck it, if I'm going to be the slut Herod and
42:29
whore, I'm going to be it. And so she, like, draws on heavy
42:32
black eyeliner. She puts on her fishnets and she
42:35
teases her hair and she's like, yeah, now I'll be your slut.
42:40
But that's when she discovers the diary.
42:46
She finds the diary and learns what Barbara has done and how
42:51
she's been writing about her and what she thinks is going on.
42:55
And Barbara comes home and they have their big blowout.
42:58
And this is like the scene and I.
43:00
Love just before we get into the scenes.
43:02
I love during the scene Kate Blanchett drops an accent.
43:06
She goes a bit Aussie, quite funny.
43:08
Another little camp thing I find.
43:10
It was at this point I realized that Judi Dench looks a bit like
43:12
Pamela Anderson without makeup on.
43:15
Like reel back the footage just before we get into the meat of
43:19
it. OK.
43:19
Pammy, I'll take a look. Yeah, I'll take a look.
43:21
Just Chuck. A bigger wig on right?
43:22
And it's Pamela Anderson. Just saying I.
43:25
Wonder how old Judi Dench was here?
43:27
Probably our age. But yeah, so now it's time for
43:32
like fucking Titans of the acting world to really fucking
43:36
ham it up and show us how a distinguished catfight goes
43:39
down. Yes, it's very hair pulling.
43:42
Oh no. It does get physical, but yeah,
43:44
it's Shakespeare. Yeah.
43:46
It's so good. It's the big confrontation.
43:50
Sheba pushes Barbara into a mirror.
43:53
This is where we get You want to roll around on the floor like
43:56
lovers. You want to fuck me, Barbara?
44:00
I only have tender feelings for you.
44:03
And then runs outside into the crowd of reporters and she's
44:06
like hemmed in by them and it's all getting a bit too much.
44:08
And then she's. Like here I am melodrama queen
44:14
claiming like what you're a pedo like.
44:19
Barbara comes out and rescues her, and then she comes back
44:22
inside and they kind of actually have the real talk about what's
44:25
been going on. She tells Barbara that she had
44:28
initiated their friendship because she liked her and they
44:30
could have been friends. And Barbara says, I need more
44:32
than a friend. This is a great line.
44:35
People like her have no idea what it's like to be so
44:36
chronically untouched that the accidental touch of a bus
44:40
conductor's hand sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin.
44:48
Imagine writing that you'd be so pleased with being a.
44:51
Lesbian. Are we just getting an authentic
44:53
deep dive into lesbian life? Maybe.
44:56
I don't know, is this, is this why there were so many cliches
45:01
about like intense lesbian relationships?
45:03
Because actually, when you scratch beneath the surface,
45:06
this is the kind minus paedophilia, might I add, This
45:09
is what's going on. Well, the.
45:11
The lesbian in this movie isn't a paedophile.
45:13
No, I mean she is into a younger woman.
45:15
She. Could have been when she was
45:16
like 18, yeah. I mean.
45:17
We don't know what happened when she was she was age with the
45:20
students, but Jesus. So she believes Barbara and
45:29
returns to her husband and is subsequently sentenced to 10
45:32
months in prison. But it's strongly implied that
45:35
she reconciles with her family after that.
45:37
Yeah. And then the final scene is
45:39
Barbara back on the hill where she used to go with Sheba.
45:44
And she meets another younger woman who is reading a newspaper
45:46
article about the whole affair. And she sits herself down,
45:51
introduces herself, and the camera pans out.
45:53
And we're like, oh, she's at it again.
45:56
I know. And.
45:56
Like, I'm so sorry, I am so angry with the, the, the
46:03
pitching of that last scene because it's it's a bit, it's
46:06
always a bit like talented Mr. Ripley.
46:08
Yes, it's very like, oh, we're in trouble.
46:11
It's going to continue. She's.
46:13
Struck before and she will strike again, whereas.
46:15
I'm just like, So what? The paedophile gets away with
46:19
it. Ten months in prison.
46:22
She probably will go back to him when he's like 16 and legal and
46:25
have another affair with him. And then I meant to hate on
46:28
Barbara who's literally just trying a bit of cruising and is
46:31
finding like someone less on. Hamster as well, right?
46:35
Yeah, and I'm presuming the women reading the newspaper is a
46:38
little bit less problematic than Sheba is, and I meant to vilify
46:42
her. Yeah.
46:44
Like. Also, do we know anything else
46:45
about Jennifer's back story? No.
46:47
No, Jennifer could also be problematic, Yeah.
46:51
Like, what has Barbara really done wrong?
46:54
It's not a crime to be intense. It's not a crime to, you know,
46:58
write, write creepy things in your journal.
47:01
It's a bit weird, but it's not a.
47:03
Journaling. It's a dying art of journaling.
47:07
Her big. Her big.
47:09
The problem was that she didn't report the paedophilia when it
47:12
happened. Yeah, if she'd done that, you
47:15
know what? Barbara gets a pass and.
47:16
Also, like, I'm sorry, but if I really was in, if I was in
47:23
Barbara's situation and if I was a psychopath that really wanted
47:28
to fuck Cate Blanchett, I would put my cards on the table and be
47:32
more honest. I'd be like, I know what you've
47:34
done. You're going to prison.
47:36
Lick me out. You know, actually Judy Dench
47:40
character Barbara is, she's more trying to romanticize it.
47:43
She wants to kind of fall in love and build this
47:46
relationship. She's just misunderstood.
47:50
But yeah, I do not have any problem with Barbara in this
47:55
film. I have zero problem with her.
47:57
She is the hero with the piece and that is my ending.
48:00
So to make her into a creepy old woman, No, not having it.
48:04
No, sorry. It's.
48:05
Homophobic. Yeah.
48:06
I mean, this is my big question about this movie.
48:08
Is this movie homophobic? Oh, because it is.
48:12
Really leaning on the like, dangerous.
48:17
Lesbian yeah. Cliche tropes.
48:20
Yeah, I. Mean it's not done as often as
48:22
the dangerous gay man trope, but like there is a history of this
48:26
kind of representation and it's you definitely can't call this
48:28
good representation. Oh, A. 100% no, no, no.
48:33
The only like I'd say the mitigating factors for this is
48:37
that the movie does show Barbara.
48:41
Legal language. We are really on a very
48:45
different podcast right now. What in the fuck is going on?
48:48
It's it's that Barbara's sister is like tries to be accepting.
48:55
And so you get the sense that like, this is Barbara's problem.
48:59
Not necessarily. It's not the movie's opinion
49:02
that all lesbians are like this. It's like this is a Barbara
49:06
thing rather than like. But it's still I'd say it's it's
49:10
not great representation. And I think the other, if you're
49:13
going to be generous, the generous reading is that
49:15
Barbara's from a generation where society didn't accept
49:18
this. And this is kind of what what
49:20
can be a product of that kind of society?
49:23
Yeah, but you're so. Right.
49:24
Because it's like they could have, I mean, I know this isn't
49:28
what they were trying to do, but they could have made Sheba more
49:32
manipulative to Barbara, so more aware that Barbara was into her
49:39
and her playing into that, yes. There's that like sprinkle of
49:44
that isn't there? But but just they.
49:46
Could and then therefore then that like kind of negative
49:50
lesbian trope wouldn't have been as as sort of evil yeah because
49:54
it would have been like, oh she was in love with her and she's
49:56
been manipulated and that would have been just as interesting
49:58
because the. Sense you get from this movie is
50:00
that Sheba's kind of the hero of the story, and it's like I, I
50:04
wrote the sound. I think you're meant to find
50:07
Barbara's infatuation with Sheba more horrifying than you are
50:12
Sheba's relationship with a boy I.
50:15
Agree. I agree that's.
50:16
Like the horror of this movie is not the paedophilia, it's the
50:20
lesbian attraction you're. So right, because it, they allow
50:23
Sheba to humanize her story. Yes, so much more.
50:27
So we find out that that the boy has been lying about his his
50:32
family setup and actually he comes from a really happy home.
50:35
So he's lied to her, he's manipulated her.
50:37
We've she's got trust issues with her husband.
50:40
Yeah, because he also had an affair and.
50:42
She's had a hard time, her kids, you know, hasn't been easy with
50:45
her kids. Yeah.
50:46
And. It's and also just and also just
50:48
and then being like sort of stalked by Barbara and also just
50:51
sort of seeing how she's seduced by him and how that's hard to
50:57
resist in the setups. But you're right, all of these
51:00
things are like allowing us to kind of understand her reasons a
51:03
bit more. Whereas with Barbara, we don't,
51:06
we never, as I said, we never, as much as I joke about it, we
51:08
never get to meet Jennifer. We don't actually know what
51:10
happened there. And likewise, we don't really
51:14
get a sense of her outside of this one point, which is that
51:18
she's in love with. She's an and she's.
51:21
In love with her. Yeah, it's fucked up, actually.
51:25
Quite camp. Though.
51:26
Oh yeah. But actually, all of that is
51:28
really, really camp. Yeah.
51:30
But yeah, it's it's fucked up. I mean, I, I saw this review
51:33
from the time in the Washington Post, they called this movie
51:38
sexy, aspirational and post politically correct notes on a
51:43
scandal could turn out to be the fatal attraction of the
51:45
naughties. And I think that really sums it
51:47
up, doesn't it? Because what about this is
51:49
aspirational? What is it's not sexy.
51:53
The only that means that the sexy thing is pedophilic
51:57
relationship post politically correct.
51:59
Yeah. Yeah.
52:00
What if women could also be sexual predators?
52:03
It's like it's like missing it so much.
52:06
And I was looking into the author.
52:09
I think she's straight, so again, it's like another kind of
52:12
mark against old. Tag lesbian Yeah, and.
52:16
Also, it's like invented because this story, yes, there is a
52:20
basis of this story in fact, which is about a school teacher
52:23
who has a an affair with a younger student and he's like
52:27
12. She has his baby, she goes to
52:29
prison, she has his baby in prison.
52:31
They end up together. There's no creepy lesbian in the
52:35
story. This is the part that's all been
52:37
invented for this book, for this movie, and it kind of just shows
52:42
like the I'm like, your bias is showing.
52:45
Because it's like, I mean, I don't really know why you would
52:48
want to tell that story in the 1st place without the creepy
52:52
lesbian. I don't really know what, Yeah.
52:54
Is that useful or insightful about exploring that as a story.
52:58
But you're right. Like, why add on that element?
53:01
Like why? Because old lesbians are scary.
53:06
And like, that's basically what this movie The kind of the point
53:08
of this movie. So and so then I was thinking
53:11
about it and I think another thing that is quite calm about
53:14
this movie is that it's it's portraying itself as so
53:17
highbrow. You've got these two powerhouse
53:20
actors who are nominated for Oscars in this movie.
53:23
They're acting their fucking tits off.
53:25
It is a dramatic score. Everything is really high drama,
53:31
Yeah, And it's just a fucking lurid, like, sexploitation
53:35
thriller. It's like, it's no better than
53:39
Basic Instinct. It's no better than like your
53:41
sexual thrillers of the naughties, but it's like dressed
53:45
up in high art theatre drag it is.
53:48
Drag. It's 100% drag.
53:50
You're so right. Because it's like, yeah, two
53:52
people at the top of their acting game, but yeah, it's
53:55
trash. It's.
53:57
Trash. Really, you're right.
53:58
It's just lurid. And the fact is like, yeah,
54:01
they've added like a really like high end soundtrack to her and
54:06
they've graded it to make it look grittier and they've got
54:09
two really strong actors in it. But it's fucking this could have
54:13
easily been Sharon Stone with her purse out like 50.
54:17
Shades of It's Like It thinks it's so much better, like Rita.
54:21
Ora could be yes with who would play.
54:24
Yeah, she's like with. Sharon Stone being Judi Dench.
54:26
Oh, like so Rita Ora is like the sexy young teacher and then
54:31
Sharon Stone's like, oh Gina. Gershon.
54:35
Hey, Shiva. Yeah, it's some girl.
54:39
It's so. Girl, but yeah.
54:41
Which makes it so camp because it is a fucking.
54:45
You can say what you want about this.
54:46
It is a trashy film. It's not.
54:49
It's not a good film. No, but it's.
54:51
But it's good. Yeah.
54:52
It's like a beautifully made piece of shit, Yeah.
54:57
And it's just nice to see that posh, educated people can also
55:01
make bombs of crap. Yeah, yeah.
55:04
And it's it's almost more affronting because they're like,
55:07
we're so much better than all of that shit.
55:10
Yeah, but. You're just like, you're just
55:13
down here in the muck with all of us.
55:15
Yeah, but. You I mean oh God, but like why
55:19
do you think Kate Brown shit took on the role?
55:22
Because I think in 2000. 6 Did you just think as an actor, it's
55:25
like, I'm really doing something challenging here?
55:28
Yeah. And it's like. 2006 as as this
55:32
reviewer said, they're like, this is oh, we're doing
55:34
something edgy and most politically correct.
55:36
What if a woman was in that situation?
55:39
We haven't explored that story before.
55:42
Oh, we've seen it so many other times.
55:43
What would it be like? Is it OK now?
55:46
And it's like, obviously the answer is fucking no.
55:49
But this movie is like but but what if it was?
55:53
Could it be? Yeah.
55:54
And like, maybe, maybe we've all got that inside of us to be
55:58
seduced by a 15 year old, 10 year old looking Irish.
56:03
Yeah, they failed themselves in terms of making like a proper
56:07
drama. Yeah.
56:08
Yeah, yeah. Like there is a proper drama to
56:12
be made about like any one of these subjects, but because
56:18
they're like mashing together like these two trashy tropes and
56:22
then trying to make one movie out of the two of two things,
56:25
you're like, what are you doing here?
56:27
Because. Are we meant to, like, not want
56:29
her to get found out? Because that's kind of the vibe.
56:32
Yeah. It's kind of like, oh, and Evil
56:34
Barbs is on the prowl again with more blackmailing.
56:38
And it's like, so are we. Are we hoping that she gets away
56:40
with it and she can fuck him in the shed?
56:43
Because it is a bit like that. When the phone goes, you sort of
56:45
look at her and it's your. The way the film is set up is
56:48
like, oh God, don't read the phone.
56:51
And it's like, no, read the phone.
56:52
She's a paedophile. Get her Bob, get her it.
56:59
Does do a good job of capturing that feeling of anxiety of like
57:04
being about to get caught out, like you've ever had one of
57:06
those dreams where like, I don't know, you've got to get rid of a
57:10
body. No, you know what I mean?
57:14
Like that? Anxiety feeling of like I am
57:17
found out and what am I going to do?
57:20
And like, I think it is effective at communicating that
57:25
feeling of of anxiety and stress.
57:28
It's just weird that you're put in.
57:29
It's trying to put you in the place of Sheba of Kate
57:33
Blanchett. It's like I don't want to be
57:35
connecting with this character, no.
57:38
You're. Not young, Yeah.
57:41
And it's also, it's kind of exploitation, isn't it?
57:44
It's just like, it's another example of it, but it's just
57:46
done in this like high art kind of way and it's.
57:49
A shame because it's like Judi Dench does bring so much weight
57:52
to the role. And like, as I said, she is like
57:54
super smart and super like witty and just, yeah, it's just a
57:59
shame that she's just deemed, you know, just this grotesque
58:04
being, you know, like it would have been so much more
58:07
interesting if she did stroke Kate and made her come.
58:10
And then Kate didn't like that afterwards.
58:12
She'd like, she literally. And that was just, it just
58:15
showed that actually Barbs as a human being actually does have
58:20
these powers of, like, seduction and so and like, that would have
58:23
made, again, more interesting dynamic.
58:25
But no, she's just repulsive. Yeah.
58:27
Creepy, repulsive, posh birds. Yeah.
58:30
Or they'd had like some kind of something had happened when they
58:33
moved in together. Or like, you know what, just
58:36
lean into the trash and like, somebody should be murdered.
58:39
Someone should end up dead and then then we're in like full 90s
58:44
stupid thriller movie and like, let me just see a murder, you
58:48
know? Yeah, or if we, as I said, if we
58:50
were recasting this with Gina Cushion and Naomi, it would be
58:53
like, as I said earlier, it would be like, right, fuck me
58:55
now. Yeah, that's why I'm going to
58:56
tell everyone. That's the kind of blackmail I
58:59
live for. Why do you think I'm on this
59:02
podcast? Yeah.
59:06
And then I was thinking about the contrast with this movie and
59:08
May December, which is like another movie talking about the
59:11
exact same inspirational story inspiration that has with the
59:19
story with is inspired by the same story.
59:22
Thank. You just needed to clarify that
59:25
although the makers of notes for the scandal are basically saying
59:28
hey, sick of your family life, sick of being with an older man,
59:32
just go to school and find a 15 year old.
59:35
Yeah, that movie is definitely the point of that movie, and I
59:38
don't think it is effective. But the point of that movie is
59:41
to make you, the viewer, be like, you just watched a movie
59:45
about paedophilia, You are trash, right?
59:48
That's what the movie is saying. And it's like the media is trash
59:51
for making movies about this. You are trash for wanting to
59:54
watch a movie about this topic. We're all trash, right?
59:58
Yeah, and. I don't think it's actually that
1:00:00
effective at doing it. I wish it'd kind of leaned into
1:00:03
it more. It's Todd Haynes who did.
1:00:06
Velvet Goldmine and a bunch of other movies.
1:00:08
But it at least it is like, smart enough to know what it's
1:00:11
doing. And like, Natalie Portman's
1:00:13
playing an actress studying to play Camp Blanchett in a new
1:00:16
movie. And so she's like, living with
1:00:18
her. And they're having this kind of
1:00:19
psychosexual thing. And.
1:00:21
But yeah, it's got, it's kind of got the right point of view.
1:00:24
Where is that? This movie does not.
1:00:26
It does not have the right point of view.
1:00:29
Yeah. But God, it's fun to watch.
1:00:31
It's got some fucking zingers. It's a nice curveball away from
1:00:37
your standard, you know? Popcorn movies, Yeah.
1:00:40
That we love being camp. It's like, this is like this is
1:00:43
like someone giving you a nice bottle of wine and you don't
1:00:47
know anything about wine And it's like you like it, but
1:00:50
you're not like they're fucking going off being like this is
1:00:52
next grade thing. And you're like, oh, it's tasty.
1:00:54
I could drink it, but you're not you're not rolling around going
1:00:57
I'm only going to drink this there.
1:00:58
But it's you know, it's something different, isn't it?
1:01:01
Or like. It's yeah, you take it, you're
1:01:02
like, I think this will be better as a sangria and you just
1:01:04
mix in and some 7UP. Yeah, you're like, yeah, OK Hun,
1:01:09
I'm not going to drink it through an air pouring thing,
1:01:11
but yeah, I mean, do you know what?
1:01:14
Fair play to them for throwing themselves into these roles,
1:01:17
because they do There's. Nothing I love more than
1:01:20
watching two women over act really well about something
1:01:24
batshit bananas. Like what more could you want?
1:01:29
And also as I don't feel like even them step their toes into
1:01:32
camp that often today, maybe more Cate Blanchett does, but
1:01:36
Judy's. Yeah, yeah.
1:01:38
Because we're fully in like, whatever happened to Baby Jane
1:01:42
territory with this movie, aren't we?
1:01:44
We're in like, all about Eve. It's like a legacy of movies
1:01:49
about like 2 women going head to head in this really camp
1:01:53
fashion. And it's like, it's never not
1:01:55
going to be delightful, but. Also, the only thing I will give
1:01:58
them respect for, they are so good at acting, they have
1:02:00
tricked most of the people into thinking this is a really good
1:02:03
film. Yeah.
1:02:04
They. Are that believable in whatever
1:02:06
they're doing? That is like people are like,
1:02:07
oh, this is a great movie. Yeah.
1:02:09
The gay men know, though, yes. It's just like, as we said, all
1:02:12
of the great critical acclaim and rotten tomato schools.
1:02:15
This is honey Honey. You're not young.
1:02:20
OK, Yeah, it's time. It's.
1:02:23
Time cute. Dramatic music, Did we?
1:02:25
Did we survive talking about? Did we manage to get through
1:02:28
this paedophilia chat with unscathed?
1:02:30
I don't know. I don't know.
1:02:32
I don't know what it's going to be like to listen to it.
1:02:35
Let's just once more for the record, say there's nothing camp
1:02:38
about paedophilia and it's wrong.
1:02:43
It feels reductive. OK, let's rate this movie.
1:02:48
We need to give it a score on our campo meter. 10 up to 10
1:02:51
Merrells for the quality of the movie and up to 10 Elizas for
1:02:55
the camp factor. This is a tough one.
1:02:58
Yeah, I can't. Because it is a well made, well
1:03:03
acted, incredibly well written movie that has a huge blind spot
1:03:10
and is like kind of problematic as fuck.
1:03:13
But like, I think as a melodrama or drama, it's like actually
1:03:18
just really solid. The acting is incredible.
1:03:22
It's like such, it's such a tight movie too.
1:03:25
Like it's, it doesn't feel like it's got anything wasted in it.
1:03:27
It's it's punchy. It gets its point in really fast
1:03:33
effectively. I think the fact that I don't
1:03:37
feel passionately that it's one or the other means that I'm
1:03:41
giving it a 5, OK? I'm going to give it, I'm 10.
1:03:46
I'm going to score it higher. I'm going to give it like a 7
1:03:50
1/2 year olds, I think because I think it's the kind of movie I
1:03:54
really want to watch. And I thought it was like a
1:03:57
beautiful example of the kind of movie I want to watch.
1:03:59
It just happens to like, think it's something other than what
1:04:02
it is, is that. Not your camp rating, yeah.
1:04:05
Maybe. I don't know.
1:04:06
It's tricky. Yeah, it's tricky.
1:04:08
OK, Eliza's. Yeah, it's really camp.
1:04:13
It's really camp. I mean, it could have been
1:04:17
Camper, Yeah. But it is there could have been
1:04:20
a sex scene, there could have been a murder.
1:04:21
I think the problem. Is what we've got is like we
1:04:24
normally is such a clear Merrills and clear lies, but
1:04:27
it's such a merge because it's such like such confusing film,
1:04:31
whether it's good or not. And something about the the good
1:04:34
performances in the schlocky movie is camp.
1:04:39
So you're like, oh, part of what makes this camp is that it's
1:04:42
good. Yeah.
1:04:43
Yeah, it's it's really it's a real fuck with your head
1:04:46
situation. Yeah, but it is camp.
1:04:48
It is definitely camp. Yeah, I'll.
1:04:50
Give it 82 and I'd love a sequel.
1:04:53
Where's Barbara now? Oh my.
1:04:55
God, yeah. Well, you know she will,
1:04:56
Barbara. Please.
1:04:58
Terrorizing poor, poor things. Yeah.
1:05:01
I really enjoyed that episode. Oh, we thought we could stroke
1:05:05
it out. Like close your eyes.
1:05:07
Just give me your. Give me your hand.
1:05:09
There you go. That's nice, isn't it?
1:05:12
That's nice. Good girl.
1:05:14
Good girl. Get.
1:05:18
Away from her, you bitch. Classic he.
1:05:24
Was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders
1:05:27
right before she died. No, Hannah, you thought you
1:05:34
become a prostitute. You're a dog at it.
1:05:36
I used to love doggy chow. I used.
1:05:40
To love doggy chow too Well. Back to some more trash in the
1:05:43
next episode I guess. Is it?