Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 690: THIS Is What Happens When Your Ex Feels Your LOSS

Transcript

Episode 690: THIS Is What Happens When Your Ex Feels Your LOSS · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:00
  What happens when your ex realizes you're not going to beg
• 0:04
  them after the breakup? You're not going to chase them,
• 0:07
  you're not going to stalk them, Maybe you're even moving on.
• 0:12
  Well, stay tuned and you'll find out.
• 0:15
  Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
• 0:17
  I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
• 0:20
  you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
• 0:23
  And welcome back my beautiful no Contact Army.
• 0:26
  Have you been a good little soldier?
• 0:28
  If you have and you've downloaded my app Silencio to
• 0:31
  help you stay in no contact. And the link to that is
• 0:36
  underneath every single video and podcast.
• 0:38
  And if you would like to join our no Contact Army and read the
• 0:42
  manual, just go to nocontactsecrets.com where you
• 0:46
  can read 2 free chapters before you purchase the book.
• 0:50
  So before I start, I want to mention something that's been on
• 0:52
  my mind for a while. 65% of people who listen to me are not
• 0:58
  subscribed. Yeah, I'm shocked.
• 1:01
  So if I could ask you a favor, and that is if my videos have
• 1:05
  ever helped you in any way and you want to give something back,
• 1:09
  please hit the subscribe button and I promise that I will
• 1:12
  continue to work hard to put out interesting and helpful videos
• 1:16
  so that you will have a better chance of getting your ex back.
• 1:20
  Thank you. OK, so when you go into no
• 1:23
  contact after being dumped and you leave your ex alone, you
• 1:28
  give them the gift of experiencing the real breakup.
• 1:33
  They know it's not a fake breakup in the sense that you're
• 1:36
  going to be chasing them. So they got what they wanted and
• 1:41
  you're totally gone. You're totally out of there.
• 1:44
  You're not bugging them, you're not pleading with them.
• 1:48
  You're not texting them late at night.
• 1:50
  You're not asking to be friends. You're not asking foreclosure.
• 1:54
  You're not texting them with the excuse of asking, oh, what was
• 1:58
  the name of that restaurant we went to that one time.
• 2:00
  You're not showing up where you know they'll be.
• 2:03
  You're not giving them googly eyes or sad puppy dog eyes if
• 2:08
  you work with them or go to school with them.
• 2:11
  You're not asking them to reconsider for the sake of the
• 2:14
  kids. You are doing absolutely
• 2:16
  nothing. And when you do these things,
• 2:19
  the breakup becomes real real fast.
• 2:23
  And I know you're going to be asking yes, but they wanted the
• 2:27
  breakup. Well, as I met talked about in
• 2:29
  my first video actually about getting an X back titled How to
• 2:35
  easily get your X back, and I'll put the link in the upper right
• 2:37
  hand corner on YouTube, people are rarely 100% certain about a
• 2:45
  breakup. They're at least 51% certain.
• 2:50
  Otherwise they wouldn't have broken up with you.
• 2:54
  But they're still a part of them that's uncertain.
• 2:59
  So even if it's 49% of them is uncertain, or if they were 70%
• 3:06
  certain about the breakup, there's still that 30 part, 30%
• 3:11
  part that isn't certain. See.
• 3:14
  So by not doing all of those things that I just mentioned,
• 3:18
  you're going to play on that 30% or that 49 percent or whatever
• 3:24
  it is. Plus, most jumpers have the
• 3:27
  arrogance of thinking that since they're the one doing the
• 3:30
  breaking up and you're not the one to initiate it, you'll be
• 3:35
  more than happy to take them back if they change their mind.
• 3:38
  But let's disabuse them of that notion, shall we?
• 3:41
  They made their bed and now they have to lay in it because you
• 3:45
  are not chasing them by leaving them alone and disappearing.
• 3:50
  You show them that if they want you back, they are going to have
• 3:55
  to reach out and make it happen because you sure as hell are not
• 3:59
  going to be the one to do that. This is why you have to stay in
• 4:03
  no contact because otherwise if you give them any type of spoken
• 4:10
  or unspoken message that you want them back, they will be
• 4:13
  waiting on you to make another move.
• 4:16
  If they change their mind, they'll be thinking, yeah, they
• 4:18
  don't want the break up. They begged and pleaded.
• 4:21
  So I'll just wait for them to hit me up again and then I'll
• 4:24
  mention possibly getting back together.
• 4:27
  But see, by doing absolutely nothing, you're making it very
• 4:30
  clear that if they want you back, it's up to them to make it
• 4:35
  happen. You're not doing anything and
• 4:41
  their interest level in you will start to go up because they
• 4:46
  thought that they were the prize and they could do better than
• 4:50
  you. That's why they broke up.
• 4:52
  I know it's hard to hear, but that's the reason why most
• 4:55
  breakups happen. People lose attraction and their
• 4:58
  interest level goes down. But now by being mysterious and
• 5:03
  leaving them alone and not chasing them, as their interest
• 5:07
  level goes up, so does their attraction level.
• 5:11
  You'll start to become more attractive just by doing
• 5:14
  nothing. See you don't have to do
• 5:17
  anything. And people find it so hard to
• 5:19
  believe. It's like how do you get your ex
• 5:21
  back? Just do nothing?
• 5:22
  What so if you didn't stop your life and then get if you
• 5:32
  accepted the breakup? If you didn't stop your life and
• 5:35
  try to get them back, you're obviously not as low value as
• 5:39
  they thought you were. You obviously must have
• 5:42
  confidence and feel that you have other options since you're
• 5:46
  leaving them alone. You must be more valuable than
• 5:50
  they thought you were. And this is one of the main
• 5:53
  reasons why chasing an ex after a breakup is so bad.
• 5:57
  You're basically saying I can't do better than you.
• 6:00
  I don't have a lot of options. Because if you did have options
• 6:05
  and if you could do better than them, you probably would not be
• 6:09
  chasing them. So you know who wants to be with
• 6:12
  someone who doesn't have options, right?
• 6:16
  Nobody. It's unattractive.
• 6:18
  And even if someone does come back because you begged them, it
• 6:22
  will usually be because of guilt and it will be short lived.
• 6:26
  Once they remember the reason or reasons for breaking up with
• 6:30
  you, they will leave again. That's why people have to decide
• 6:35
  on their own that they made a mistake and want to come back,
• 6:39
  not because you begged them to come back.
• 6:41
  So please have some dignity because otherwise there's a good
• 6:46
  chance you will get the pet cemetery version of them.
• 6:48
  As I mentioned in another video whose title always escapes me.
• 6:52
  Now you're probably thinking, well if I just give them the
• 6:55
  break up and disappear, won't that make it easier for them to
• 6:58
  move on and find someone else? No, as I've said many times,
• 7:05
  when it comes to matters of the heart, logic does not apply.
• 7:10
  People do not date logically. Well except for me haha.
• 7:15
  They date with their emotions and emotions do not have an IQ.
• 7:21
  So when you do the opposite of what they expected, not only are
• 7:26
  they curious as to what the heck is going on, as I talked about
• 7:31
  in my video last week titled exactly what your ex is feeling
• 7:34
  when you disappear and do no contact.
• 7:36
  And I'll put the link in the upper right hand corner.
• 7:39
  You've also heard their ego. They were at least expecting a
• 7:43
  bit of resistance from you. And when they get little or
• 7:49
  none, they're going to wonder why.
• 7:52
  At the very least, they're going to try to get an ego stroke from
• 7:55
  you. And this is when they start
• 7:57
  trying to get you to break no contact.
• 7:59
  And of course, I have a video on that and I'll put the link in
• 8:02
  the upper right hand corner. So they couldn't predict your
• 8:06
  next move because you're not making any moves.
• 8:10
  So they're going to try to get you to show that you're at least
• 8:14
  somewhat interested. But of course, you're listening
• 8:17
  to me. So you won't be doing anything
• 8:20
  until they send you a significant message.
• 8:23
  And the beautiful thing about this is that since they're so
• 8:27
  focused on you, they're going to be less focused on moving on or
• 8:32
  dating other people. See how that works?
• 8:35
  They're going to be wondering like, what the heck is going on?
• 8:37
  So they're not going to be as interested in moving on because
• 8:41
  they're going to be focused on you.
• 8:45
  Otherwise. You've actually made it easier
• 8:46
  for them to move on if you stay in touch or try to get them back
• 8:51
  because they know that as they're out there meeting new
• 8:54
  people, if they can't find a replacement, well, at least they
• 8:58
  got you as the backup plan. And this is one of the many
• 9:03
  reasons that we don't respond to bread crumbs.
• 9:06
  And finally, I want to say that the great thing about no contact
• 9:11
  is that it turns the table on the dumper and gives back
• 9:14
  strength and confidence to the dumpee.
• 9:17
  You actually hold the power when you do no contact.
• 9:21
  You have the power to not give them any attention and let them
• 9:26
  sit there with their thoughts about whether dumping you was
• 9:29
  the right thing to do or not. Do not give up that power.
• 9:32
  Stay in no contact. OK, so now I want to hear from
• 9:37
  you. How long have you been in no
• 9:40
  contact and how is it going? And if you would like my help to
• 9:44
  get your ex back, you can contact me at theartoflove.net
• 9:47
  and we will send you the rates. They are not on the website and
• 9:52
  the direct link to that is underneath every single video
• 9:55
  and podcast. And I am available seven days a
• 9:58
  week, 16 hours a day to help you with getting your ex back.
• 10:04
  So don't worry about the time difference or anything.
• 10:08
  I am here for you. And if you found this video
• 10:11
  helpful, please like, subscribe and share.
• 10:14
  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
• 10:16
  And finally, remember, love inspires and powers, uplifts and
• 10:21
  enlightens.