Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #224| Why Spiraling Wrecks Your Productivity (And How to Stop It)
Transcript
- 0:00Michelle Gauthier: When you're spiraling, the worst thing you can do is believe your own thoughts.
- 0:09Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:16Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:21Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's Working Woman experiences.
- 0:26Michelle Gauthier: And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.
- 0:36Michelle Gauthier: Hi, friend.
- 0:37Michelle Gauthier: If you're human, and I bet you are, you've probably had a spiral.
- 0:42Michelle Gauthier: A spiral is when your brain grabs onto one scary thought about the future and then stacks another one on top of it and another one on top of that and another one on top of that.
- 0:51Michelle Gauthier: And pretty soon you're catastrophizing your entire life from a single email or mistake or perceived worry.
- 0:58Michelle Gauthier: It can sound like this: you get an email from your boss where she asks you if you're still on track for a deadline.
- 1:04Michelle Gauthier: And you think she thinks I'm behind on this project.
- 1:07Michelle Gauthier: What if I do miss the deadline?
- 1:08Michelle Gauthier: If I miss the deadline, I'm gonna lose my credibility.
- 1:11Michelle Gauthier: If I lose the credibility, I'm gonna lose my job.
- 1:13Michelle Gauthier: If I lose my job, what am I gonna tell my family?
- 1:15Michelle Gauthier: Oh my gosh, I'm not gonna be able to make my mortgage payment.
- 1:17Michelle Gauthier: Oh my gosh, the economy is so bad.
- 1:19Michelle Gauthier: I am totally screwed for life.
- 1:21Michelle Gauthier: You're in the spiral.
- 1:22Michelle Gauthier: And when you're in the spiral, you're really unable to do anything productive to try to make that deadline.
- 1:28Michelle Gauthier: The only thing is being in a spiral means is that your nervous system is activated and it's asking for safety, not necessarily answers.
- 1:36Michelle Gauthier: So in this quick episode, I'm going to show you how to recognize when you're in a spiral, give you some exact words that you can say to yourself to slow it down, and then as a bonus, how to identify what fear might be underneath it without letting that fear run the show.
- 1:52Michelle Gauthier: Today's episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth.
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- 2:48Michelle Gauthier: Okay, let's get back to what you should do when you're in a spiral.
- 2:52Michelle Gauthier: The first thing that you should do is notice it and name it.
- 2:55Michelle Gauthier: So a spiral isn't something only happening in your head, it shows up in your body.
- 2:59Michelle Gauthier: And sometimes it's actually easier to notice it in your body first.
- 3:03Michelle Gauthier: Feelings show up differently for everybody in their body, but things that I usually hear when people are in a spiral when I say, How does it feel in your body?
- 3:10Michelle Gauthier: They say there's a tightness in my chest, or I'm breathing really shallow.
- 3:14Michelle Gauthier: Maybe your heart's racing, or you have a buzzy, restless energy.
- 3:19Michelle Gauthier: Maybe you've got knots in your stomach or tension in your jaw or your neck or your shoulders, or this urgent need to do something right now, but you don't exactly know what.
- 3:28Michelle Gauthier: What does it feel like for you when you're in a spiral?
- 3:32Michelle Gauthier: And if your answer is, I don't know, that's okay.
- 3:34Michelle Gauthier: Just try to notice it next time, or think back to the last time you were in a spiral.
- 3:38Michelle Gauthier: And sometimes that will recreate the feeling in your body, which you can then just shake off.
- 3:42Michelle Gauthier: For me, it definitely feels like a tightness in my chest and like a spinning in my head.
- 3:47Michelle Gauthier: I feel like a spiral is actual spinning around inside my brain.
- 3:50Michelle Gauthier: Like there's a little tornado in there.
- 3:52Michelle Gauthier: So figure out what it feels like for you.
- 3:54Michelle Gauthier: And then when you notice those physical feelings, you can say, oh, okay, I'm in a spiral right now.
- 4:00Michelle Gauthier: Or my nervous system seems to be activated, or I'm not calm enough to decide anything just yet.
- 4:06Michelle Gauthier: Or wow, my brain is really worrying this all the way through to the bottom.
- 4:10Michelle Gauthier: Naming the spiral creates space between you and the thoughts, and it helps you see that you are a person who is currently in a spiral instead of you being the spiral.
- 4:21Michelle Gauthier: Now that you've identified that you're in a spiral, your goal isn't to fix anything, it's just to slow the spiral down or maybe even just interrupt it.
- 4:29Michelle Gauthier: You don't have to say a ton of words.
- 4:32Michelle Gauthier: I'm gonna read you some phrases that you can borrow and just listen to them.
- 4:36Michelle Gauthier: And if one of them sticks out to you, seriously make a note in your phone or write it down on a post-it note so that the next time you realize you're in a spiral, you can say this.
- 4:45Michelle Gauthier: Here are some phrases you can try.
- 4:47Michelle Gauthier: Nothing is required of me right now.
- 4:49Michelle Gauthier: Sometimes your brain is telling you, hurry up, you gotta do something, you've got to fix everything.
- 4:53Michelle Gauthier: Another phrase is this feels urgent, but it's actually not an emergency, or even just this is not an emergency.
- 4:59Michelle Gauthier: I can pause before I decide what this means.
- 5:02Michelle Gauthier: In this moment, I am okay, or in this moment, I am safe.
- 5:07Michelle Gauthier: Sometimes it's really helpful just to narrate what's going on.
- 5:10Michelle Gauthier: So another phrase you could use is I can see that my brain is spinning right now.
- 5:15Michelle Gauthier: My brain had some scary thoughts and I don't need to react to them.
- 5:18Michelle Gauthier: I can just watch them.
- 5:20Michelle Gauthier: I can just see them, but I don't need to do anything.
- 5:23Michelle Gauthier: So at this point, you have noticed you're in a spiral.
- 5:25Michelle Gauthier: You have chosen one of those phrases to borrow.
- 5:27Michelle Gauthier: Nothing is required of me right now, or this is not actually an emergency.
- 5:31Michelle Gauthier: And from there, you should start to feel a little bit of lightness compared to what you were feeling before.
- 5:39Michelle Gauthier: And that is because you have looked at where you are from the outside versus just being in the spiral.
- 5:45Michelle Gauthier: The spiral is usually caused by fear, some kind of fear of the future.
- 5:49Michelle Gauthier: So when the spiral slows down a little, you can gently get curious without judgment.
- 5:53Michelle Gauthier: Here are some of the main fear culprits that I see when I help my clients who have been in a spin.
- 5:59Michelle Gauthier: Is it a fear of disappointing people, a fear of getting it wrong, like it not being perfect, a fear of being judged, a fear of losing control.
- 6:07Michelle Gauthier: You don't have to push the fear away.
- 6:09Michelle Gauthier: Again, we're just accepting what's going on.
- 6:11Michelle Gauthier: Just name it.
- 6:12Michelle Gauthier: You can say to yourself, oh, this is my fear of disappointing people.
- 6:16Michelle Gauthier: Something that I say to myself is, oh, this is my fear of making a mistake.
- 6:20Michelle Gauthier: My fear is trying to protect me, and I can see that.
- 6:23Michelle Gauthier: So you don't need the fear to disappear to calm down.
- 6:26Michelle Gauthier: You just need to stop letting it drive the bus, so to speak.
- 6:30Michelle Gauthier: So today we talked about how to recognize a spiral by noticing it in your body, what to say to yourself to interrupt it, and then how to identify the fear without judging yourself for having that fear or letting that fear take over.
- 6:45Michelle Gauthier: I'm a life coach.
- 6:46Michelle Gauthier: I've been a life coach for eight years now, and I find myself in a spiral at least once a week.
- 6:51Michelle Gauthier: This is just human nature.
- 6:53Michelle Gauthier: I'm much better about it than I used to be, but I still get this.
- 6:56Michelle Gauthier: So if you're a person who spirals, or your best friend is someone who spirals, forward them this episode.
- 7:02Michelle Gauthier: Or if it's you, save this episode, or make some notes on your phone so you know what to do next time this is you.
- 7:07Michelle Gauthier: Remember, spiraling doesn't mean anything has actually gone wrong.
- 7:10Michelle Gauthier: It just means that your nervous system needs some reassurance and that there is some fear driving your thoughts.
- 7:16Michelle Gauthier: Thanks so much for listening today.
- 7:18Michelle Gauthier: I am grateful to have you as a listener, and I will see you next week.
- 7:23Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 7:30Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at MichelleGauthier.com.
- 7:36Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.