Latest / Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm / Stop the Task Paralysis: The 5-Minute Trick to Restart Your ADHD Brain | 024

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Stop the Task Paralysis: The 5-Minute Trick to Restart Your ADHD Brain | 024 · Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
0:03
SPEAKER_01: My name is Jessica Lynn Lewis.
0:04
SPEAKER_01: Today is part two of our interview with Dr.
0:07
SPEAKER_01: Kaylee Buller.
0:08
SPEAKER_01: She has such great experience.
0:10
SPEAKER_01: Not only is she a doctor delivering babies, she also has a book out.
0:15
SPEAKER_01: She's an ADHD person.
0:16
SPEAKER_01: She's an ADHD mom.
0:18
SPEAKER_01: She gets it.
0:19
SPEAKER_01: And she has a lot of great insight, just very down-to-earth and practical insight.
0:24
SPEAKER_01: So excited to have her on the show again.
0:26
SPEAKER_01: Here's the interview.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: Well, Kaylee, thank you so much for joining us again this week.
0:31
SPEAKER_01: We appreciate having you.
0:33
SPEAKER_01: And I'm excited about hearing your next quick win for today.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for having me back.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this has been great.
0:38
SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm very excited too.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: So if I I'll just jump in, right?
0:41
SPEAKER_00: Please, yes, jump right in.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: So this quick win for today.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: I one of the biggest things that I've always struggled with, and it might not be something that everyone or all of your listeners struggle with, but it's task initiation.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: It's getting started on a task.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: And I find that with ADHD, we're really good at getting started on the things we like and maybe not so great, yeah, at starting the things that are vague or tedious or emotionally charged, right?
1:07
SPEAKER_00: Answering that email, which is not, it's not a difficult thing to do, but for some reason we're like, I will deal with that later, right?
1:14
SPEAKER_00: So I didn't realize this actually until I went to this really interesting um talk, which I'll talk about later.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: But having, yeah, having this as um one of my key domains that I struggle with, I had to figure out there's gotta be a solution.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: So what I did and what I found worked was on my to-do list that I use every day, there is a recurring task.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: And it's not, it just says, do one quick thing.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: Do one quick task.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: And that's what it says.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: It's quick task on my to-do list.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: So every day I do one thing that I know will take me five minutes or less, something that I've been avoiding, something that I don't want to do.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: And I found that just adding that and being able to check the box every day, because we find that so satisfying, right?
1:57
SPEAKER_01: It is, it's crazy satisfying, especially when like it probably took you two minutes to do or five minutes.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: Right.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: It's really like they're usually not long tasks.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: But like, for example, like every year I have to renew my corporation, my medical corporation, and it's not hard, but every year I forget how to do it.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: So I don't remember.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: So like the first thing I have to do is remember, like, figure out how to do it.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: And so I put it off.
2:19
SPEAKER_00: But then when I figure it out, it's actually really easy.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: And it takes me five minutes, right?
2:25
SPEAKER_00: But I put like I'll put it off for a month.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: Like it'll be so having that mentality now where I just once a day I do one thing that's bothering me that I just haven't had the time to do.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: And then once I do one, sometimes I'm even motivated then to do more.
2:39
SPEAKER_01: Right.
2:39
SPEAKER_01: Because it feels so good.
2:40
SPEAKER_01: You get that dopamine hit of I could cross that off.
2:43
SPEAKER_01: I have enough time to do another one.
2:45
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
2:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:46
SPEAKER_01: And in game gamify it.
2:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:48
SPEAKER_00: And I know some people like even, and if that even seems too much, like sometimes it's just starting the task.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: So saying I'm going to spend 60 seconds, one minute on this task that I don't want to do.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: Because even that practicing starting, once you've started, usually people can finish.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: Right.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: So even if your to-do list item was start a task that I don't want to do, even that would probably be really helpful.
3:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, to be very specific about what that task is.
3:13
SPEAKER_01: You mean like listing, listing the task like do something hard on your task?
3:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: So I so on my yeah, on my to do list, it just it literally just says do a quick task.
3:22
SPEAKER_00: And then I will look through my items and say, what is something that I didn't really want to do today that I should do?
3:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I got to send an email to this person, right?
3:29
SPEAKER_00: That'll be my quick task for today.
3:31
SPEAKER_00: Nice.
3:31
SPEAKER_01: So on your tasks, I'm curious how you organize it.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: So do you have like one long big task, or do you have like a couple different tasks organized in different categories?
3:40
SPEAKER_01: So super good question.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: I do theoretically, fundamentally, I do have it organized and it's so pretty.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I never use any of those features ever.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: Like I don't.
3:52
SPEAKER_00: So I've got like my mommy admin section and my parenting admin section that I share with my husband, and then I've got my work, and then I've got like it it's all sort of organized, and you can you put like a hashtag on a task and it'll categorize it for you.
4:05
SPEAKER_00: I don't, I just have like a running list, right?
4:07
SPEAKER_00: So what I actually use is my do this and it shows up in my today list.
4:12
SPEAKER_00: And then if I don't get it done, I can put it in tomorrow's list.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: It rolls over really easily.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: It just rolls over.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:17
SPEAKER_01: Which, which I have found is almost too easy to just go tomorrow.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: That's tomorrow.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: Let's do that tomorrow.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: Right.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: I know.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: So what winds up happening, and I can even probably show you, but once it they're all overdue now.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: So I have this list of like overdue tasks, and then I have my today tasks.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: So it shows up on one screen, overdue today.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: And then of course it'll send me notifications, be like, you have 23 tasks today, and I'll be like, oh, 23 tasks today.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: But I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna do 23.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna happen.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: I know that.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna pick one.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: So, right?
4:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna pick one.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: And then there's some that are really easy, and those are the really fun ones, like give my cat her medication.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: Boop, done, right?
4:54
SPEAKER_00: Those are the ones that I really because I can check that off every day, right?
4:57
SPEAKER_00: And so I put those on my list too because I know that it feels good to check those items off.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: And so I will purposefully put things in there just for the sake of being able to check them off, right?
5:06
SPEAKER_00: I know everybody does that to an extent.
5:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I add things, yeah.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: I'll be like, first part do this so I can write, so I can check that off.
5:14
SPEAKER_01: And I know too, because I think putting something on your task list that's huge and not breaking it down into teeny little pieces can also be a barrier to crossing things off in the past.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: I saw, I know, I saw your episode on that too, the micro tasks.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: That's it's so, so important.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: It's so important.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: And I actually have a different quick win.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: Maybe we'll talk about that another time.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: That's very much related to the micro tasks.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:38
SPEAKER_01: I think for me that was a game changer.
5:41
SPEAKER_01: Um realizing how do I break this down?
5:45
SPEAKER_01: And if you don't know how to break it down, um, ask somebody else, get out of your own head, go on Chat GPT or something and just say, here's the task that I'm working on.
5:53
SPEAKER_01: It's overwhelming.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: How do I break this down?
5:55
SPEAKER_01: And it'll be like, oh, well, just and then okay.
5:59
SPEAKER_01: Well, I can do that.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: And I find that that was one of the like that particular feature of ADHD was one of the things that I was constantly explaining to other people.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: Right.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: So my husband doesn't get it.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: My brother, his son, so my nephew has ADHD, quite severe.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: And he just he doesn't get it.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: And I remember saying, like, you can't tell your child, go clean your room.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: Like that doesn't it connect.
6:22
SPEAKER_00: Like it just, so you have to give them.
6:24
SPEAKER_00: And I like I remember that.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: I remember that from when I was younger.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: Like cleaning my room was this like Herculean task.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, well, if I'm gonna clean, then first I have to get the laundry off the floor, but then I have to make the bed before I can get the laundry off the floor, and then I'll put the laundry on the bed, and then I'll have to fold the laundry, and then I can pick up like it became this thing, right?
6:39
SPEAKER_00: This beast that I couldn't overcome.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: Whereas if it had just been pick the clothes up off your clock.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: Right, step one.
6:46
SPEAKER_01: Or yeah, put the clean laundry away.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
6:50
SPEAKER_01: Right.
6:50
SPEAKER_01: That's all I want you to do today.
6:52
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
6:52
SPEAKER_00: Right.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: Step by step.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: And I and I told him, like, you might even have to, if you say, like, pick the garbage up out of your room, follow him around with a garbage can, right?
7:00
SPEAKER_00: Pick the garbage up, pick the garbage up, right?
7:02
SPEAKER_00: Because this was back when he was six years old, right?
7:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:04
SPEAKER_01: And they're they're learning.
7:05
SPEAKER_01: I think sometimes as parents, we think, well, you should just know how to do that.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: Right.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: Um, and the reality is they some kids do.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: Some kids pick it up and are fine.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: And you we compare our kids to the other kids who couldn't just do it.
7:19
SPEAKER_01: And we realize, okay, this we need to break this down a little bit easier for them.
7:23
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
7:23
SPEAKER_01: And help and I help them.
7:26
SPEAKER_01: I like that idea of like hold the trash can for them.
7:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: So that you're almost like a constant visual reminder of what they're supposed to be doing so that you're not constantly knitting them.
7:34
SPEAKER_01: That's good.
7:35
SPEAKER_01: Visual reminders are huge.
7:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:37
SPEAKER_01: Because my kids will go up to the room and be like, uh what why am I here?
7:42
SPEAKER_01: What am I doing?
7:44
SPEAKER_01: You're cleaning your room.
7:46
SPEAKER_01: Right.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: And so we have a lot of visual cues in our house as well.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: Um, my son hasn't uh formally been diagnosed with anything, but we we know.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, so it's it's something.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, we don't have a formal diagnosis of anything, but there's something that's making it challenging for him in school, making it challenging for him at home.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: And so we we created a school day clock.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: So I have this clock that I've painted.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: So I just bought a cheap clock and I painted it.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: So pink is breakfast, right?
8:13
SPEAKER_00: So this is when you have your breakfast.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: And this is so that he can see because he can't tell time yet, right?
8:18
SPEAKER_00: He's not old enough to be able to read a clock.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: So during the pink, you're eating breakfast.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: During yellow, we're going upstairs, getting our teeth.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: Right.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: And so it's all there.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: Um, and one of the things that I found works really well for him too, especially because mornings are hard with kids who are unfocused, right?
8:34
SPEAKER_00: Very much so getting them.
8:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: So we have a reward system, right?
8:39
SPEAKER_00: So if everything's done by the time we get to blue, you can watch TV till it's time to go.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's brilliant.
8:46
SPEAKER_01: That is a huge my kid, my kids would be like, done.
8:49
SPEAKER_01: I've got 20 minutes.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: Right.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: Right.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: And so they'd probably hustle and get everything done so that they could get that bonus, which I know would not work for all parents because some parents have a really hard time turning the TV off again when that time is up.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, yes, that's also, but it doesn't have to be TV, it could be something else that's anything else.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, or you could play for five minutes before we go.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: Like you do something fun or whatever the case may be.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: We found my son, and which I actually wonder if he's a little bit on the spectrum mostly, because he's a rule follower.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: So if we say the TV turns off at this time, he's okay with it.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: Like he's like, Well, that's a rule.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: I follow the rules.
9:19
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
9:20
SPEAKER_01: And he's very careful then with how you develop the rules so it doesn't become a hard story.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: Too regimental.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: Because we found that the common sense will not override the rules.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm actually very worried that sometime there's going to be a rule that he's in an unsafe situation, but he can't manage it because the rule is this.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
9:40
SPEAKER_00: The rule is overriding.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: Ah.
9:42
SPEAKER_01: And that'll come in time, you know, and he's still really young and developing and learning.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: But it is interesting um figuring that out as they're so young.
9:52
SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately, I wasn't diagnosed until my son was, I think, seven and my oldest was 15.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: You know, like they were older.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: And I think it would have been so different if I understood all of this back when I started having kids.
10:05
SPEAKER_01: Would be a game changer.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, so how for you, how is it being an ADHD mom with ADHD kids and these ADHD tendencies?
10:15
SPEAKER_00: How do you how do you manage that?
10:17
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
10:18
SPEAKER_00: I honestly, in some ways, I think that it's easier, right?
10:20
SPEAKER_00: And I I know that that if well, it probably isn't, but it feels easier because I get it.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: I was there, I lived it, right?
10:28
SPEAKER_00: So when I see my child struggling with something, I can really empathize with that.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: Cause I'm like, yeah, God, that was hard.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: That was so hard.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: And it shouldn't be hard.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: But cleaning your room was a big hard task.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: And so instead of getting angry at my child for not tidying up his room, which is what most parents who don't understand ADHD would would want to do probably.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that they would do it, but that's where their emotions would probably go.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: Like, why aren't you listening to me?
10:55
SPEAKER_00: Why aren't you doing it?
10:57
SPEAKER_00: Like they're not being rebellious.
10:58
SPEAKER_01: That was me.
10:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:59
SPEAKER_00: They're just struggling.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: And I remember so clearly this one moment, and it was the smallest thing, but I remember my son, I picked him up from school and I said, Okay, hop in the car.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: And he opened the door and he got into the car and he was standing in in the back seat of the car and and hadn't gotten into his car seat yet.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: And he was just standing there.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, buddy, get in the car.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: He's like, I'm in the car.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: And I remember like he was he had gotten distracted.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: He was overloaded from school.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: And I had to say, get in your car seat, right?
11:25
SPEAKER_00: Whereas, and it took me a second, but I had to remember that he had gotten distracted part way through.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: He knows that he's supposed to get into his car seat, but he froze in that moment because he forgot what he was doing when he climbed into the car.
11:37
SPEAKER_00: He forgot what he was doing.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: He's like, What do I do next?
11:39
SPEAKER_00: And he totally froze.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, now I have to now say, get in the car seat, and then we're gonna buckle it in because sometimes that they need that, right?
11:48
SPEAKER_00: And I think if that if I had been a different parent, I would have been like, what is your problem?
11:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, get in the car.
11:53
SPEAKER_01: Get, yeah.
11:54
SPEAKER_01: No, you're not doing this tonight, or you're not allowed to do this.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: And there's that punishment part that I that is really a hard because it's not necessarily they're not being defiant.
12:05
SPEAKER_01: And so punishment isn't part of the thing, but like when that's your default and that's all you know, it's what happens.
12:12
SPEAKER_01: Um, but I think learning the skills and learning to see things, you can um Julie Legg was on the show a few shows ago and she talked about flipping the script, you know, doing the opposite of what you think.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: So um, and and Carol Siege last week was talking about um the temper tantrum that just kind of came up and she's like, I found out all he needed was a hug, you know.
12:33
SPEAKER_01: And so as parents, we just get so frustrated because they're not doing what we want them to do without looking at the situation and empathy and how their brain is processing things.
12:44
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
12:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and understanding that they're having a hard time rather than they're giving you a hard time, right?
12:52
SPEAKER_00: It it's hard.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: So it's so hard, right?
12:55
SPEAKER_00: And I I find that one of the sort of the general overarching themes that I find works the best is just don't take it too seriously, right?
13:04
SPEAKER_00: Don't take life too seriously.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: Like if we're having a hard time, turn it into a game, turn it into a joke, right?
13:08
SPEAKER_00: Like you've got your shoes on the wrong feet.
13:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, it's gonna be hard to walk to school and those, right?
13:14
SPEAKER_00: You know?
13:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: Because they're and then and then you look down and they go, oh, ha ha ha ha, I've got my shoes on.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: Whereas when we're rushed trying to get out the door, got your shoes on the wrong feet.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: Some parents are gonna go, what are you doing?
13:24
SPEAKER_01: Like you focus, right?
13:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, why?
13:26
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, why would you do that?
13:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh, and then why is this shame for you or whatever?
13:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
13:31
SPEAKER_01: And I think as I would think, and I I mean, I don't know, I don't have data, but I would think that a lot of adults would recognize that because ADHD was not so popular or diagnosed 30, 40, 50 years ago, that I think a lot of people are carrying guilt because I don't know.
13:49
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: I just I didn't notice my shoes were on different feet, or I didn't, I was distracted.
13:54
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
13:55
SPEAKER_01: And so there's a lot of shame, I think, that a lot of people are trying to sort out and deal with.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: Well, and I remember like I lost I lost everything.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: Like I was so my my dad's nickname for me growing up was Space Cadet.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: Like I just was never there, like wasn't focused.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: And I lost all my stuff all the time.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: And like thankfully, thank God, my mom, um, who probably also has ADHD, but of course would never admit it.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: Um, she was available, right?
14:21
SPEAKER_00: So the 17,000 times that I forgot my homework or I forgot something that I needed at home, she would bring it to the school for me.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: Like there, I would have failed everything if it weren't for that support, right?
14:34
SPEAKER_00: And she could have probably gotten really mad at me a lot.
14:37
SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure they did get frustrated, of course.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: But I remember that that that saved me.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: And I would not have excelled.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: I would not have performed well in school.
14:45
SPEAKER_00: I probably wouldn't be in medical school if I didn't have a parent, at least one parent, who was like, no problem, I'll bring your home.
14:52
SPEAKER_01: Catching things, catching things all over.
14:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:54
SPEAKER_01: Right?
14:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:55
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's what we do with our kids too.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
14:58
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna make sure that they, that we advocate for them, that they're that they're gonna do well in school.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: And what what do you think is the line then between advocating for them and enabling them?
15:08
SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's such a good question.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: And I wish that I was like a child psychologist because it's probably more in their wheelhouse because it's it's hard to delineate, right?
15:15
SPEAKER_00: It's probably different for every kid and how much support they need.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: And I think the question is, are you making it easier for you or are you making it easier for them?
15:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's good.
15:30
SPEAKER_01: I like that.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: That gives a lot of clarity, right?
15:33
SPEAKER_01: Am I am I doing this because I want to get done and out the door because I'm late?
15:37
SPEAKER_01: Or is it my child like I want to give you all the support I possibly can?
15:41
SPEAKER_00: So if I was doing it for me, I'd I'd put his shoes on for him, right?
15:46
SPEAKER_00: You know what, you're taking too long.
15:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do it.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: Whereas if I'm doing it for him, it might be take a look at your feet, bud, what's going on down there?
15:56
unknown: Yeah.
15:56
SPEAKER_00: Give him a moment, right?
15:58
SPEAKER_00: To maybe try again.
16:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, but again, I mean, that's just that's just me.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: And I I don't know if that's the right answer, but I I think that that's probably somewhere in the realm of the answer lies is if I'm doing it because it's easier for me, then maybe that's not the right way.
16:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:12
SPEAKER_01: And and that's hard because sometimes we can be impulsive and we're late and we're not organized and you know, medicine's not working, or I forgot to take it today and now it's too late to take it because I'll be up all night if I take it.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, no, that never happens.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: No.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh no.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: All the time, right?
16:29
SPEAKER_00: You're like looking at my watch and going, oh shoot, I've forgotten it's 10 a.m.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: and can I do it or am I gonna be?
16:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
16:35
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
16:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:36
SPEAKER_01: So well, let's circle back again at your quick win for today, the task initiation.
16:41
SPEAKER_01: If you can just kind of reiterate that a little bit, um, just to refresh our memories.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: So the task initiation piece, which is just one thing that some people might struggle with, is having trouble getting started with a task that doesn't interest us or is vague or is difficult or is mentally overloading us.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: And it's just picking one thing every day that you're either going to do because it only takes five minutes, or you're gonna start.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: So pick that task, whatever it may be, sending an email, renewing your bar registration, whatever it might be.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I hate doing it.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: And either right, right, and just either start it, because by the time you've started, you're probably gonna be fine.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: Or deciding that you're you're gonna do it.
17:23
SPEAKER_00: One thing every day.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: And then once you get into the habit of that, you'll realize it's maybe a little bit easier and that starting tasks isn't as bad, and that the task really isn't as bad as you think it's gonna be.
17:33
SPEAKER_00: And it might be a little easier to do the next one and the next one.
17:36
SPEAKER_01: That's great.
17:36
SPEAKER_01: Cause really it's it's so making those neural pathways connect again, right?
17:41
SPEAKER_01: Instead of avoiding it going around the thing, we learn to make those connections and okay, it wasn't that hard, you know, in that mindset shift.
17:49
SPEAKER_01: So awesome.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much, Kaylee, for being on the show again.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: Uh, we appreciate you.
17:54
SPEAKER_01: I know you have some more quick ones, so we're excited to um hear more of those soon.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: And um, yeah, I think really quick before we go, just give you a chance to because you work with so many new moms and you've delivered thousands of hundreds of babies, sure.
18:09
SPEAKER_01: Hundreds of babies, you know, you're just you're in that really special moment where they're becoming a mom for the first time or mom again.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: Um what what would you want to tell them?
18:22
SPEAKER_01: You know, moving into this new phase of life, like, well, what do you what do you just I wish I could tell all of them just this?
18:28
SPEAKER_00: I know.
18:29
SPEAKER_00: So, oh my gosh, I'm so glad you asked.
18:31
SPEAKER_00: I mean, for new moms, especially, I mean, if you're a new mom, you basically have ADHD symptoms, even if you don't have ADHD, like you're sleep deprived, your emotional regulation is shot.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: And if you do have ADHD, right?
18:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, everything.
18:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, you're already struggling that with that.
18:47
SPEAKER_00: Your brain's already on fire, and now you've got, you know, this little tiny human and 47 urgent tasks all of a sudden, right?
18:54
SPEAKER_00: And I think the key thing that I would want every new mom to know is that you don't have to be organized to be a safe and competent and loving parent.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: You can borrow structure, right?
19:08
SPEAKER_00: Like you can use someone else's scaffolding to build healthy coping techniques, right?
19:13
SPEAKER_00: And that's why things like this podcast are so great.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: And that's why my book that I've written, and honestly, if you have ADHD, you'll probably be able to tell that I do too, because it's just here's the issue, here's what you need to know.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: What's next?
19:25
SPEAKER_00: Right.
19:26
SPEAKER_00: I want to give you the information, the checklists, the scripts, so that you don't have to carry that in your brain.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: Because being a new mom is hard enough as it is.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: But being a new mom and struggling with ADHD, like that's almost impossible.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:41
SPEAKER_01: We honestly both make it a lot easier, right?
19:44
SPEAKER_00: Like you, you know, you get through the first newborn phase, and then all of a sudden you've got a toddler in another newborn, right?
19:48
SPEAKER_00: And then when you get through that newborn phase, then this kid's in extracurriculars.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: We're in school and you're getting papers and emails and you have to remember tasks.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: Like it's it's gonna be momhood, right?
19:57
SPEAKER_00: Like that's what it is.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: That's the game.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: So using structure that you've borrowed is totally okay.
20:03
SPEAKER_00: And also that none of this is a deficiency of you.
20:06
SPEAKER_00: It's just how your brain works, and that's okay too, right?
20:09
SPEAKER_01: I like that.
20:09
SPEAKER_01: It's taking those things away because there's that imposter syndrome too.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: You know, why why am I like this?
20:15
SPEAKER_01: There's all these other moms who are just they it looks so easy.
20:19
SPEAKER_01: I'm sure they're struggling too, but but adding that layer of ADHD and momhood and sleep deprivation, that's that's so hard because we need our sleep, our brain to function.
20:30
SPEAKER_01: So that's beautiful.
20:32
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
20:32
SPEAKER_01: I appreciate it.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: Well, we're excited to talk to you again soon with some more quick wins.
20:38
SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much, Kaylee, for being on the show today.
20:41
SPEAKER_01: Thanks again.
20:44
SPEAKER_01: Well, thanks again for joining us on Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
20:48
SPEAKER_01: If you'd like more information about the show, you can look at the show notes.
20:51
SPEAKER_01: Our website is down there.
20:53
SPEAKER_01: Dr.
20:53
SPEAKER_01: Kaylee Buller's information is down there.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: Please connect with her.
20:56
SPEAKER_01: She's wonderful to get to know all of our guests have been amazing.
21:00
SPEAKER_01: You can find us at theadhdmom.com.
21:05
SPEAKER_01: You can email me directly, Jessica at theadhdmom.com.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: If you are an ADHD mom with a quick win, I would absolutely love to hear from you.
21:14
SPEAKER_01: We can hop on a call, chat a little bit, and see what um if you have anything that works for you that might work with thousands of other moms.
21:22
SPEAKER_01: Also, please join our email list.
21:24
SPEAKER_01: That's probably the best way to stay in touch, um, be notified of the latest shows.
21:30
SPEAKER_01: Um that's all of that is in the show notes.
21:33
SPEAKER_01: So until next time, have a great week.