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Hypnosis to Release Resentment, Sadness or Loss After a Breakup · The Hypnotist

• 0:05
  Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
• 0:09
  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
• 0:12
  genuine. Issues.
• 0:13
  Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
• 0:16
  celebrities, CEOs and even royalty, Adam Cox.
• 0:20
  These recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's
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  world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
• 0:31
  enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  Hi, Adam here. And in this hypnosis session,
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  you're going to be listening to hypnosis all about releasing
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  anger, resentment, sadness, even frustration about the aftermath
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  of a breakup. And I was working with a client
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  that had really felt that they'd put everything into that
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  relationship. They really gave it their all.
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  And a lot of their core needs weren't met.
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  They felt that they compromised too much and gave too much of
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  themselves away without it being reciprocated.
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  And because of that, they were feeling a lot of sadness, a lot
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  of resentful feelings, and a feeling of a sense of injustice
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  that somehow they were responsible for how they were
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  feeling. So what this hypnosis session
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  does is primarily reconnects them with a resourceful state.
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  In the moment of this aftermath, they weren't feeling positive,
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  they weren't feeling resourceful.
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  They didn't have a sense of peace or optimism.
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  So the beginning of this hypnosis session takes them back
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  to a point where they really did feel that a time in their life
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  where they felt wildly optimistic and kind of peaceful
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  and connected. And it has a an extra level of
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  disassociation. So there was a particular sofa
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  that they could connect with that they really felt while
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  they're on that sofa in a peaceful, meditative sense.
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  There was rolling hills and a lake that was good anchors for
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  them and they could also recall. Being.
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  In a new country with a sense of excitement, optimism and
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  positivity. And what that does is it anchors
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  and rekindles, resurrects those normal pathways that are linked
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  to highly emotive states that are resourced for.
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  But then it's very important that we give a different
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  perspective. A lot of people, when they're
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  dealing with the aftermath of a relationship, tend to almost
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  teleport back into a first person perceptual position, like
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  they're reliving a moment of all the good things that happened.
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  And obviously if the relationship ends, not
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  everything was perfect. But by doing that, it can create
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  a feeling of comparison where you're remembering amazing times
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  of connection and and love and positivity, and then comparing
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  that to not having that in the moment.
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  That can feel like almost a form of grief.
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  A lot of people do this in the grief cycle where they remember
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  wonderful moments with someone that's no longer alive.
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  And then when they reconnect with being in the present,
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  they're left with this contrast that that person isn't around
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  anymore. So it's really important to
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  disassociate, particularly in a relationship breakup, to know
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  that those good memories happened but not feel associated
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  to them. But also have a look at this
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  frame of, well, knowing what I now know, what would I do
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  differently in that relationship?
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  And what that frame does is take a lot of wisdom and experience
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  from exactly the same perspective.
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  And that's really important. But what's also important for
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  people to feel resentful is this sense of injustice that this
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  person makes me feel this way. Therefore, the locus of control
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  is external while it's with them.
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  There's nothing that you can do about these emotions.
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  If it's a sense of what I'm feeling is natural because I've
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  lost something that I valued, I can extract all of the wisdom
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  about what's really important in a relationship and disassociate
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  from those things that weren't so good.
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  But in doing so, creating very clear boundaries and a criteria
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  of what's really important in the future.
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  Then it creates the possibility that in the future they could
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  look back and even though that relationship didn't work out,
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  they could be grateful for all of the reconnaissance that they
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  elicited from that relationship. So there's a lot going on here
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  and the kind of person that would benefit most is someone
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  that has recently broken up and still has quite strong feelings
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  connected with that previous relationship, particularly if
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  it's things of a sense of injustice or lack of.
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  Fairness. That could even breed
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  resentment. Then you'll get more value from
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  this now. It was created for an
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  individual. Therefore, some of the
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  suggestions would have been very suited to the person I was
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  working with and might not at all be relevant to you.
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  So on that basis, ignore any suggestions that don't quite
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  fit. Hone into the core intentions of
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  the suggestions that are helpful for you.
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  And if you like the idea of working with me directly, there
• 5:21
  will be a link in the description or the show notes.
• 5:24
  Or you can visit my website, adamcox.co.uk.
• 5:27
  And on there you can schedule a completely free consultation
• 5:31
  call. We'll have a chat because it
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  might be that I'm the right person to work with you and your
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  specific situation. For now, though, even though
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  this session was creative for someone else, it may be valuable
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  or at least useful for you. O Find a quiet, comfortable
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  place where you won't be disturbed.
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  Relax and enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in and as you
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  breathe in, breathe in a slow, long relaxing breath and as you
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  exhale feel a sense of release. Any pent up emotions just feel
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  like a release valve that it's leaving your body in that
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  outward breath, exhaling for longer and then breathing in
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  deeper and just allow that diaphragm to be awakened and
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  activated. Breathing in that resourceful
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  feeling of calm and relaxation and exhaling.
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  Any tension, stress and worries just feel like it's slowly
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  leaving your body. And I want your intuition to
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  wonder that if hope had a colour, what colour would it be?
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  And just imagine breathing in that colour of hope, feeling it
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  going down into your lungs. Imagine your heart harnessing
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  that colour of hope and distributing it to every cell in
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  your body. And as you breathe out, just
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  imagine a dark shadowy colour leaving your body in your
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  outward breath. Any tension, any resentment, any
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  anxiety, just feel it leave your body in that outward breath,
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  breathing in that colour of hope and exhaling all of those dark
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  shadows that represent disempowering emotions that have
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  been haunting you. That's it.
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  And then think of a colour of distilled confidence.
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  Imagine breathing in that colour of confidence again.
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  Imagine it there in your lungs. Imagine the heart taking that
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  colour, making sure every cell of your body gets that
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  confidence. You don't have to think about
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  how your body takes in oxygen and exhales carbon dioxide, but
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  just imagine there's an emotional transfusion taking
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  place. Breathing in hope, breathing in
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  confidence, and exhaling any anger, resentment, frustrations,
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  any feelings of loss. Just allow it to leave your
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  body. That's it.
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  And because this emotional transfusion is taking place
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  based on your breath, I want you to think of a time many years
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  ago. They're lying on a leather couch
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  practicing breath work, and I want you to imagine you're back
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  there on that leather sofa, maybe a blanket over your knees,
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  a wooden table nearby. Perhaps you remember those
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  rhythms or ratios of breathing and just imagine this time
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  you're breathing in those bright distilled colours of hope, peace
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  and confidence. As you exhale, exhale anything
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  that you know you know you can release it and want to release
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  it because why would someone hold on to something painful?
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  It's a teacher, but once your unconscious has learned the
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  lesson, that pain is no longer needed to feel like you're
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  already learning everything you can.
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  Even a moment of trauma has some treasure buried deep, and as you
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  extract the value, you can release any of that emotional
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  pain. Just feel it leave your body and
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  the. Deeper you breathe.
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  The more relaxed you feel and the more relaxed you feel, the
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  deeper you breathe. And as your body relaxes, your
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  imagination awakens. So let's imagine that sofa and
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  that table being teleported to a sunny day close to a lake with
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  rolling hills. You know the ones.
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  Very soon I'm going to count down from 5:00 to 1:00 and you
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  will imagine drifting off into a dreamlike sleep there on that
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  sofa. You did that once or twice.
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  Continue to breathe in that resourceful feeling and exhale
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  anything unresourceful. 5 Eyelids getting heavier. 4
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  Loosening your jaw. Three, neck and shoulders.
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  Start to let go of all of that tension you've been holding
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  onto. Two arms and legs feel limp,
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  loose, heavy, just like the limbs of a puppet with no
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  strings. Two drifts down into one.
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  Fill yourself, sinking deeper into that leather sofa that
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  represents reflecting, learning, growth and evolution all there
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  on that sofa. And then just imagine Zero
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  drifting off into a dreamlike sleep.
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  But in that dreamlike sleep, you're in the same place, just
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  no longer in your body. Imagine standing beside the
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  sofa. Just see and check just how deep
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  you are. Imagine picking up one of your
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  arms, feeling it limp and loose, letting it go, seeing it flop
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  down by your side there on the sofa.
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  And then imagine walking over to the lake.
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  It's a sunny day, but I want you to imagine this lake has choppy
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  waves. It's restless, not at ease, but
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  as you breathe in that feeling of peace and relaxation and
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  continue to exhale in that long outward breath, breath by
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  breath, the lake calms. Almost like the lake is now the
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  Canary in the coal mine to represent your nervous system.
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  So as you regulate your breathing, those long exhales,
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  notice that you have the power to calm that choppy lake.
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  That's it. The waves get smaller, calmer,
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  and feel that adjustment in your physical body.
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  Feeling. Maybe there's some clues,
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  requires less effort to breathe, less tension in the jaw, a
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  lightness. Just for a moment, imagine if
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  your head was like a helium balloon, light supported all by
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  itself. And I want you to connect back,
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  back to that feeling of peace and calm that you would feel on
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  those walks around those hills and by that lake, Ideas buzzing,
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  thinking of a future, all the possibilities.
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  And then imagine glimpsing a future version of you that
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  didn't exist yet. Just imagine seeing yourself in
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  your future outside an Airbnb waiting for an Uber, and see
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  that look of pride, accomplishment, optimism, and
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  possibility. And when you know it's there, in
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  that version of you 100% sure, let me know about nodding your
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  head. Remember, it's that version of
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  you. You remember the one.
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  That's it. And then float into that version
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  of you. You might even remember what you
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  were wearing, even the pattern of the stars in the sky.
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  You may remember what phone you had to place the Uber order.
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  But I want you to connect without feeling of unbridled
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  optimism, hope, positivity. Breathe that way.
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  Now breathe the way you were breathing.
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  Then connect with that feeling and scan your body for where
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  that feeling of hope exists and just point to that location.
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  That's it. And I want you to imagine a
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  three-dimensional shape in that specific location.
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  Maybe a pyramid, a cube or something else.
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  Give it a colour and turn it the brightness until that colour
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  starts to glow. Notice if that three-dimensional
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  shape is rotating, pulsating, moving in some way, and if it
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  is, just speed up the rhythm so it amplifies that feeling of
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  hope, optimism, and positivity. And as it does so, you reawaken
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  all of the neural pathways connected to that way of
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  thinking. That's it.
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  Connect a sound to it. Maybe the tonality of your inner
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  dialogue back then when you were in that hopeful, positive mood.
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  Maybe there was a phrase used to say.
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  Maybe it had the word yes, I've got this.
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  It's going to be fine. You'll know the words.
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  Connect that sound to that shape, in that colour.
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  Increase the size. Feel that wonderful feeling of
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  hope, optimism. That's it.
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  And take that feeling and imagine being back in that
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  peaceful place there by the lake.
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  See that logical, analytical version of you fast asleep on a
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  leather couch with a blanket over your knees and stare above
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  the now calm water of the lake. And on there I want you to
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  imagine seeing. Seeing a three-dimensional
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  hologram over the lake? You're just an observer, it's
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  not you. But allow that detachment to
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  give you a new level of insight. I want you to imagine seeing how
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  a relationship started. You're not in your body, you're
• 20:32
  just watching. It's just floating over the
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  lake. I want you to see all of those
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  things that made it so appealing, so desirable.
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  It's maybe things that your unconscious desires or that you
• 21:01
  thought you desired. Because as you watch, allow your
• 21:08
  unconscious to pan for gold, to take out those Nuggets of
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  wisdom, insight, and discernment from the past.
• 21:25
  I want you to see those early memories that you valued not
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  with a wistful feeling, but a feeling of calm detachment.
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  Because you're seeing yourself appreciate those things from a
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  distance. Imagine seeing perhaps what now
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  would be considered of an early red flag, some representation of
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  lack of alignment or incongruency.
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  Again, detached. No emotion, just distilling
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  wisdom. I want you to allow any
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  wonderful memories to give you a feeling that this is what
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  happens when you choose to go all in.
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  You're not punished by it. You're rewarded because either
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  you win or you learn. Holding back means you may never
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  win and certainly won't learn. It's not a cause of resentment
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  to want something to be exactly as you want it to be.
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  I want you to feel it's an act of courage.
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  I want you to see that version of you being aligned with your
• 23:23
  values, and as you continue to see that relationship distilled
• 23:28
  down into a hologram over a lake, just jump to the most
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  significant moments through a lens of hindsight, knowing what
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  you now know. What would, if anything, you
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  have done differently? Each moment gives you the
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  ability to extract all the more Nuggets of wisdom from that
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  relationship. I want you to get a sands.
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  Then all those moments that weren't quite right are simply
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  reconnaissance, giving you now a treasure map to know exactly
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  what kind of relationship is worth going all in for.
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  You've not lost, you're simply more prepared now than you've
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  ever been. Continue to see those moments
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  and I want you to get a sense then everything you would have
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  done slightly different is evidence.
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  Evidence that you've extracted the value from the past, knowing
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  that even resilience comes from some form of pain or discomfort.
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  So any pain that you've been feeling doesn't break you,
• 25:17
  doesn't damage your source code, it strengthens the very nature
• 25:23
  of who you are. Just imagine that you've got a
• 25:29
  remote control, Fast forward, rewind.
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  Imagine changing certain key moments to see if.
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  It would ripple. Through time and make anything
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  different. And if every connotation still
• 25:46
  means that this wasn't the right relationship for you, well then
• 25:55
  just allow yourself to feel that.
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  To break that sunk cost fallacy requires absolute courage,
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  decisiveness, determination, because so many people settle,
• 26:16
  so many people compromise and compromise until there's nothing
• 26:19
  left. But that wasn't you see the end
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  the final few weeks, and I want you to feel compassion, empathy,
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  understanding for that version of you.
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  You did something that wasn't easy but was necessary, and I
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  want you to feel feel proud of that version of you.
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  And when your unconscious feels that you are extracting the
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  value of that relationship. Wistfulness is simply eliciting
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  what you value, and resentment is eliciting where boundaries
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  were perhaps broken or not respected.
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  It's all reconnaissance, and I want you to leave that hologram
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  feeling a sense that at some point in the future you will be
• 27:37
  grateful for this pain and this past.
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  Allow the hologram to dissolve. And now imagine yourself at some
• 27:50
  point in the future, maybe six months, a year, maybe 2 years
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  from now. But I want you to see that
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  future version of you with a new level of optimism.
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  Hope a spring in your step. Irrefutable evidence that
• 28:12
  nothing was permanently broken. And I want you to see that
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  future version of you in a relationship that structurally
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  had all of those things that you valued, but also many of the
• 28:31
  things that you felt weren't met.
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  See that future version of you smiling.
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  See that future version of you living life at a certain
• 28:49
  intensity and having all of the emotional and physical resources
• 28:55
  to excel in that context. And imagine that future
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  relationship is supportive, understanding, celebrating the
• 29:10
  successes, but also there for support when it's needed.
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  And that future version of you would be proud of your recent
• 29:23
  decision and grateful of your courage to make it so.
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  Imagine floating into that future version of you, feeling
• 29:35
  how you would feel when you're through this patch and out on
• 29:42
  the other side. Connect without feeling that you
• 29:47
  can look back on that relationship from the future
• 29:51
  with no resentment, no feeling of loss, no feeling of being
• 29:57
  broken, no anxiety, no injustice.
• 30:03
  But gratitude. Not fake gratitude when someone
• 30:09
  says they wish them well. Real gratitude, grateful that
• 30:15
  you went all in, and grateful that you've learned so much.
• 30:22
  And if you can connect without feeling that at some point in
• 30:25
  the future that would be absolutely true, even if you
• 30:28
  don't know when that would be, let me know by nodding your
• 30:30
  head. That's it.
• 30:47
  Allow the possibility, but sometimes not just good things,
• 30:53
  but amazing things come from bad things.
• 30:59
  You know that to be true, and you also know the power of a
• 31:04
  self fulfilling prophecy. So allow this to plant a sea of
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  an idea. Not that what's happened could
• 31:13
  lead to good things, but that it will.
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  It absolutely will. And as that belief takes root,
• 31:25
  you will notice more and more clues to convince you that you
• 31:30
  did the right thing. You didn't lose, you gained.
• 31:36
  You gained the reconnaissance, the resilience and the wisdom
• 31:40
  required to lead to a much, much better future.
• 31:47
  And now that seed's planted, imagine floating back to the
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  lake and connect without feeling of peace, hope, optimism, fit
• 31:58
  with your nervous system is relaxed and calm.
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  And then just imagine climbing into that version of you, fast
• 32:06
  asleep on a leather sofa under the blanket, and teleport that
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  back all the way to a home of your past.
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  Connect with that feeling, reawaken those neural pathways,
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  and now it's time to leave this place.
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  But allowing certain ideas to form.
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  Certain ideas that the more you think about them, the truer they
• 32:41
  become. And the truer they become, the
• 32:44
  more your nervous system calms and relaxes, knowing that
• 32:51
  perhaps it was all necessary. Necessary.
• 32:56
  Your future self, your future life, your future happiness.
• 33:04
  It's time to leave this place in your imagination, a place of
• 33:09
  ideas within ideas, thoughts within thoughts, dreams within
• 33:12
  dreams. So take a deep breath in through
• 33:15
  your nose and out through your nose.
• 33:20
  Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, connect and calibrate into
• 33:23
  the here and the now as I now count from 1:00 to 10:00 to
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  awaken you. Starting to count 123 waking up
• 33:35
  456 more alert. 7-8 open your eyes.
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  Open your eyes 910 Wide awake, Wide awake.
• 33:45
  Wide awake. Thank you so much for joining me
• 33:55
  on. Today's episode of The
• 33:57
  Hypnotist. If you've enjoyed this episode
• 33:59
  or got some value. From it, please give it a five
• 34:03
  star rating and review. And maybe you know someone that.
• 34:07
  Would also benefit. From this particular episode, in
• 34:10
  which case share the episode with them so they can also get
• 34:14
  the benefit. Too.
• 34:15
  And if you would like to. Listen to this.
• 34:18
  Episode where it's just the hypnosis.
• 34:21
  So no intro, no outro, no explanation, just.
• 34:25
  The hypnosis and. Completely ad free.
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  There will be a link in the description where.
• 34:29
  You can subscribe at a very low cost and.
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  Only get access. To the.
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  Hypnosis, so if that's of interest.
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  Please check that out. Thank you again for being a.
• 34:40
  Regular listener of the. Hypnotist and I'll see.
• 34:43
  You again soon for more.