Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 625: How No Contact Affects Your Ex's Brain

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Episode 625: How No Contact Affects Your Ex's Brain · The Art of Love With Lucia

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  Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
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  I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
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  you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
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  This week I want to talk about how no contact affects your ex's
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  brain. Getting an ex back involves
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  psychological warfare. One of the tools in your arsenal
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  is no contact. If you're in no contact or
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  you're about to go into no contact, you're probably
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  wondering how it's going to affect your ex and what they'll
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  be thinking. Well, stay tuned and you'll find
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  out. But first I want to welcome back
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  my beautiful No Contact army. If you haven't already, be sure
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  to download my app Silencio, so it will help you to stay in No
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  contact, and the link for that is underneath every single video
• 0:40
  and every single podcast. And if you too would like to
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  join our no contact army, all you have to do is hit the
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  subscribe button and the Bell notification and you're in.
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  And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com where you
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  can read two free chapters before you purchase the book.
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  OK, so I'm not going to sit here and ramble off a bunch of names
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  of natural chemicals that are going to go through your ex's
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  brain during no contact, such as dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin,
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  cortisol. That's not what you came here
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  for, and frankly, that's boring to hear about anyway.
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  But I will tell you what the effects of those chemicals will
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  do to your ex. So it should not come as a
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  surprise that your ex will be surprised.
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  Even though the more people know about no contact these days,
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  people still think that their ex is going to contact them after
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  they break up with them. They don't realize immediately
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  that their ex is actually in no contact.
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  So just by being unpredictable, your ex starts to think about
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  you and wonder what is going on. They had some idea in their mind
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  of how the breakup was going to play out, and when you throw
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  them a curveball by not contacting them, they can't help
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  but think about you more than they would if you were
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  constantly contacting them. They didn't get the ego stroke
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  they thought they were going to get, and they're going to
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  question their worth to you. Maybe they didn't mean as much
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  to you as they thought they did. If you're not even willing to
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  chase them after being dumped. Now, by quickly shutting down
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  all communication with your ex, you are going to force them to
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  feel the effects of the breakup. Cold Turkey Humans do not
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  usually like to take a cold Turkey approach to anything.
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  That's why people will take their time and slowly stop
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  smoking, or slowly change their diet or slowly drink less.
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  So the thought of immediately cutting something off that they
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  were used to is not very appealing.
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  And of course this also applies to relationships.
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  They thought that they would be able to reach out to you if they
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  were missing you or just have a chat once in a while.
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  They thought they could slowly easing to learning to live
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  without you and they would slowly fade you out of their
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  life. So when they realize that's no
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  longer possible, they will feel the full repercussion of their
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  decision to break up with you, and as well they should.
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  No contact will also make your ex curious, and everyone loves a
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  good ministry right by going quiet, and especially if you
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  don't answer bread crumbs, they'll wonder what's going on
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  all of a sudden. One minute you're saying you
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  don't want to break up and you're begging for them back,
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  and next you're nowhere to be found.
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  Don't underestimate the power of mystery when you're trying to
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  get your ex back. It is a great ally and you can
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  still create mystery if you have to somehow be in contact with
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  your ex because of work or kids or whatever.
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  As long as you don't talk about the relationship or walk around
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  with those sad puppy dog eyes, do not do that.
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  You can still be mysterious when you're in no and when you when
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  you are in contact with your ex. And just as you are feeling a
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  sense of urgency and panic because you don't know what's
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  going on with your ex, they will eventually start to feel the
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  same way. Because once they get past the
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  relief stage and they notice you're not contacting them,
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  they're going to start to get worried.
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  So don't delay them getting out of the relief stage by being
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  there for them or responding to any little breadcrumb they throw
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  your way. They're going to be thinking of
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  the worst case scenarios. You've quickly moved on.
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  We've already had someone else you weren't that interested and
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  they will get in touch with you sooner rather than later.
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  And if you are finding this information helpful, please give
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  this video a like in order to help our friend the YouTube
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  algorithm to recommend it to other people.
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  Thank you. Now another effect of no contact
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  is that they will miss you sooner rather than later.
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  They can't miss you if you're not gone, and by doing no
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  contact you will definitely be gone, gone, gone.
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  Or at least that's how it will appear.
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  People think that no contact will make it easier for the ex
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  to move on, but as usual in romantic relationships, it's
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  counter intuitive. It will actually make it more
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  difficult for them to move on in many cases.
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  One of my clients recently asked me if there was anything else he
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  could do besides no contact, and this question always makes me
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  laugh. It's like, are you kidding me?
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  And I'm giving you the biggest weapon you have to get your X
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  back, and now you're asking for literally a smaller weapon.
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  I'm giving you the atom bomb, and that's not enough.
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  OK, fine. Here's a stick you can go and
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  use, OK? No contact is the best thing
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  that you can do. No one likes it when something
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  or someone is suddenly taken away, never to be heard or seen
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  from again. They thought they were going to
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  control the pace at which you exited their life, and now they
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  realize they were wrong and it's going to force them to wonder if
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  they made the right decision. Since they're missing you so
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  much, the sudden loss may make them change their mind and ask
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  for another chance. Now, at some point, fear is
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  going to enter the picture. It has finally dawned on them
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  that you will not be contacting them, that you're strong enough
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  to stay away from them, no matter how much you didn't want
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  the breakup, how much you begged them not to break up with you.
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  How much if you like them or love them and they're afraid
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  that they've lost you for good. If they change their mind,
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  they're afraid that you won't take them back.
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  And if they contact you, they're afraid that you may not even
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  respond. They thought the final chapter
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  of the story was going to be that they were going to break up
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  with you, and you would always be pining for them the end.
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  But you just added another chapter when they were about to
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  close the book. You're acting more valuable than
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  they thought you were, so they're going to wonder if they
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  underestimated your value and overestimated their own.
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  And this is the point at which most people will take action,
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  because people will do more to avoid pain than to gain
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  pleasure. And if they fear that you're no
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  longer interested, or that you've moved on and they are not
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  100% sure about the breakup, and most people aren't, this is when
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  you'll hear from them woo Hoo. And that is the power of no
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  contact. And all you had to do was
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  nothing. Literally nothing.
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  The pages have turned, and whereas initially you may have
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  begged for them not to break up with you, it's possible that
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  they will now beg for you to take them back.
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  And before I go, I have a very short I don't know if I'm going
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  to call it a success story, just a very short comment that I
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  think you'll appreciate. And he says I bumped into my
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  ex-wife 12 years after she walked out and divorced me.
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  We talked about 15 minutes as I was about to leave and say
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  goodbye, my ex grabbed my arm and told me Arnie, it was me,
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  not you. I just wasn't cut out to be a
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  wife. I'm so sorry I left and broke
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  your heart. Then we both kissed.
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  I told her I forgive her a long I forgave her a long time ago.
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  Then I hugged her for the last time and waved goodbye.
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  Never saw her again after that, For the first time, I felt the
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  last chapter in a novel Speaking of last chapters.
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  So I think that's helpful for people who they didn't do
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  anything to deserve the breakup, and for some reason the person
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  just could not be in the relationship and they blame
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  themselves. And meanwhile, as his ex-wife
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  admitted, she didn't want to be a wife.
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  Don't know why she got married, but OK, so hopefully this will
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  help someone. And in the meantime, if you
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  would like my help to get your ex back, you can contact me at
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  theartoflove.net and we will send you the rates.
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  The direct link is below every single video and podcast.
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  If you found this video helpful, please like, subscribe and
• 8:54
  share. If you're listening to this as a
• 8:56
  podcast, please rate and review. And finally, remember that love
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  inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.