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YOU CAN PREPARE · The Karen Kenney Show

• 0:00
  Karen Kenney: It's the Karen Kenney show. Hey you guys. Welcome to the Karen Kenney show, other than freezing my ass off right now,
• 0:12
  Unknown: oh my god, you guys, why do I live in a place that is so cold?
• 0:19
  Karen Kenney: Okay, and we're back. Welcome to the Karen Getty show I need to give I just need to give myself a moment. Oh, Lord have mercy. And the weather actually has
• 0:29
  something to do with what I want to talk about today. So if you are in the New England area, New Hampshire area, it has been so freaking cold lately. I feel like
• 0:39
  this is one of the coldest winters we've experienced in forever. It, I mean, it's like 18 degrees right now. I'm like, what
• 0:49
  Unknown: is happening?
• 0:51
  Karen Kenney: Oh, my God. Okay. Anyways, so I got to thinking about all the snow, all the cold, all this external weather, and how, literally, like, there's nothing I can
• 1:03
  do about it. I can't stop the snow, I can't stop the cold, I can't stop the seasons. I can't stop, you know, the fire is the earthquake, like all this stuff that
• 1:12
  happens. However, however, we do have a little bit of an advantage now, because meteorologists like the weather people can predict, like storm systems and stuff that
• 1:27
  are coming in. And I started to think about, can you imagine what it must have been like way back in the day, like I'm talking like caveman time, when there would be like
• 1:37
  thunder or lightning or just an earthquake or just something crazy happening, and how scary it must have been to not have any previous experience with a thing, or to not
• 1:49
  know when, like, like, can you imagine an eclipse, or like, something like that, it'd be like, Oh my god. Well, now we've been around long enough to gather enough
• 1:59
  information and to get enough tools to be able to predict when there's going to be an unsavory or, like an insane weather system outside. Because here's the thing, when you
• 2:12
  know what's coming, you can prepare. And so this is why, when it's like, oh my, okay, so like, there's a hurricane coming, and people have now learned, oh, I can put up storm
• 2:23
  windows. I can use sandbags, like, to stop the flooding. I can do like, X, Y and Z to, like, prepare for the storm. I can evacuate my town, right? So not everybody obviously
• 2:37
  can do these things. They may not have the means, but man, is it helpful to know ahead of time that something is coming right? Even for us, like, we can go like, okay, we're
• 2:47
  supposed to get, like, a propane delivery. The driveway is icy. We're getting snow. We can ask the plow guy to San, why do I even live in a place where I need, I need a plow
• 2:59
  guy? Oh. I got okay, you can ask the plow guy to like, sand the driveway, like when they're here. So we can prepare for difficulties that are coming, or changes in
• 3:13
  the atmosphere, whatever that are coming, so that when, even though it's not going to prevent the thing from happening, we are better prepared for what it's bringing.
• 3:25
  Okay? So when I started thinking about all this, then I started to think, well, we also have internal weather systems, don't we? We have, like, the the fire of rage that, like,
• 3:41
  happens when we get, like, triggered by something. We have the, you know, we actually have something called sad seasonal affective disorder, where we know, like,
• 3:51
  okay, for a lot of people, when we start to have that shift in, like, daylight and stuff like that, when the days start to get, like, more gray and cold or rainy or whatever, and
• 4:03
  there's not as much sun happening, which the sun does so much for our mental state, for our vitamin D, for our, you know, our feelings and the chemicals that the body
• 4:12
  produces, and all this stuff. So for a lot of people, I will suggest, often to my clients and stuff like that. And I even have one, I don't get sad, but I am, like, a sun
• 4:23
  person, like, I like all the sunlight. There's a reason why, like, this office used to not have it's actually a bedroom, but it's my office used to have no skylights.
• 4:35
  And one of the things I was like, I need to get skylights in here. So I got like, two skylights on one side of the house. And then what I'm taking a little detour, just so you
• 4:46
  know, now, like, eat little, tiny detour, and then I have this thing where, like, I'll lay on the floor like spread eagle and just stare at the ceiling or stare out the
• 4:54
  windows. And one day, while I was doing this, I started talking to my book. So any writers out there. You can probably relate to this. I think that our creations, right,
• 5:04
  the things that we make, or that we co create, or whatever, they have their own energy, and they have their own desire, and they have their own wants. And one day, I
• 5:12
  was like, laying on the floor, and I was thinking about my book, and I'm like, I wonder what my book wants. And I'm pretty sure my book said I want two more skylights.
• 5:19
  I swear to God. I was like, we need more light in here. And I was like, okay, so I called our buddy, and I was like, Is there any way this summer or whatever, you can
• 5:27
  come in and sell two more skylights? So here's the thing, I need all the light. Okay, and we're back. So here's the thing we can certainly, like, prepare, also for the
• 5:39
  internal storms that may or may not happen, and I say may or may not happen, because we cannot predict what life is going to bring, okay, but like for me, I was just like, I
• 5:52
  know that I like a lot of light, so I have what's called like a happy light. So I turn this sucker on in the morning, right? Certainly, we can go outside, like Huberman
• 6:02
  says, we can go outside get sunlight in our eyes first thing in the morning for about 10 minutes. It is so good for your circadian rhythms. It's so good for your mood. It's so
• 6:11
  good for balancing, like your bedtime and your energy levels, right? There's, like, a lot of things that we can do. A happy light is a fantastic way to help yourself. A UV
• 6:21
  light, right? Basically, if you get Seasonal Affective Disorders. So I'm like, Oh, this is one way we can help ourselves again, if you're a person like that, I don't even have
• 6:31
  sads, and I use one because I just love the way that the bright light makes me feel okay. So even if we cannot predict things, right, we cannot predict sometimes when
• 6:43
  somebody's going to die, there's going to be a death, there's going to be a disease, there's going to be a diagnosis, there's going to be a divorce, there's going to be a
• 6:50
  disappointment, right? The thing is, is that life doesn't really give a shit about how we feel about things like life is just going to arrive at your door. And while we cannot
• 7:00
  predict things like weathermen and meteorologists can we've been around long enough, we have been alive long enough to know that some stuff is gonna go down in
• 7:12
  this human experience. I think most of us right. Some of us are still I mean, I don't think anybody who listens to the show is a little kid unless they're trapped in the
• 7:20
  back seat while you're driving somewhere and you're playing it. But you know, most of us who are listening to this show are adults, and we've been around long enough we've been
• 7:30
  on the planet long enough we've been in families, long enough we've been in relationships long enough and we've had like businesses or worked for somebody, long
• 7:39
  enough to know that people be peopling and life will be lifeing, and we can predict that some shit has hit the fan before, like we have been around long enough to
• 7:48
  experience that things don't always go the way that we want them to or expect them to. So we can also prepare for the internal weather systems, meaning your feelings, your
• 8:00
  emotions, your thoughts, your beliefs, your reactions, all these things we can actually prepare for them. And I was thinking about this, like, even when, right now, right so
• 8:12
  much feels like it's out of control in the world, stuff that's going on with politics and policies, what happened in the election, like all this stuff, like all, like, so many
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  things that are going on, we feel like I can't do anything about this. Well, like I've heard somebody say the other day, well, I voted, and that's all I can do. And it's
• 8:31
  like, no, no, there's so much more that you can actually do. And I've talked about this in my last few episodes, right where I talked about, like, you know how you can
• 8:41
  help, or how could I help? And if you just had a conversation with Marion Williamson right, my friend, my mentor, my my spiritual godmother, if you haven't listened to that
• 8:50
  episode, it's a fantastic episode that came out like last week. So there are things that we can do, but one of the, one of the powerful things, and I talk about this all
• 9:01
  the time, with my one to one clients, with people in the nest, with my yoga students, right? Anybody who literally hangs out with me knows how I feel about having a DSP, a
• 9:13
  daily spiritual practice, a DSP, right? Having some tools in your spiritual tool kit, being able to prepare yourself before the shit hits the fan is one of the most
• 9:29
  incredible and powerful things that you can do for yourself. So things like yoga, things like meditation, things like prayer, things like contemplation, things like having some
• 9:42
  neuroscience, practical neuroscience tools, which is what I share and teach with the people that I work with, so that they can be prepared when the storms hit. Right? We've
• 9:55
  just gotten so many like snow storms here, and some part of me just. Feels like, Oh, my God, I'm melding. I'm melding
• 10:05
  Unknown: like, that's how I feel every time there's gonna be more snow. But
• 10:09
  Karen Kenney: look, there are times when some shit is gonna go down in your family, in your marriage, in your relationship with your children, at work, with your business,
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  whatever, where you're also gonna feel like, okay, I just wish there was like a plow guy that could come and save me, but nobody's coming to save us. Nobody's coming to save
• 10:28
  us. However, we can do things to help save ourselves. And again, having a DSP, having some spiritual tools in your tool kits, having some habits, right, that are
• 10:42
  strengthening, that are life giving, that are nurturing and nourishing and supportive, having some tools that like practical again, practical neuroscience tools, things like
• 10:53
  energy techniques, right, whether that's tapping or bilateral stimulation or breath work or Different ways of helping your nervous system find some regulation. One of
• 11:04
  the big things that we can also do is having a community around us. And again, this is one of the reasons why I talk about the nest so often on the podcast, the nest supplies
• 11:18
  all of those things. It's like, built in community, built in tools. It's like community support. It's spiritual mentoring. With me, it's like if you don't have
• 11:30
  something like this in your life, if you don't have a group of people who are also doing the work talking about these same kinds of things trying to, not so much,
• 11:43
  quote, unquote, fix themselves, right, but it's so much like bettering themselves, improving the quality of their thoughts, having more tools so that they can navigate
• 11:52
  life, right? These are the things that are going to help us weather the the personal storms, right, and to also what I call strengthen ourselves during a struggle. We
• 12:04
  know there's going to be struggles, and I would rather them be struggles where we have some support, and we have some some tools that we can use for ourselves, then also
• 12:16
  some, some community tools, some of that support, so that the struggle doesn't turn into full blown suffering.
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  And I think that, you know, we don't always connect the dots about how important having spiritual community is, how helpful it can be to have a spiritual mentor, how helpful
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  it can be to have your own daily, right, daily spiritual practice, just for example. Let me give you an example. So meditation helps us to train the mind. Meditation is
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  simply what I would consider mind training. It does a lot of things, right? Slows down the mind. Slows down the thinking process. Why is this valuable? Well, if you cannot
• 13:05
  place your mind where you want to place it, when you want to place it, there is going to be consequences, and there might ultimately be some suffering. When you can start to
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  slow down your mind in your thinking process. You can make better plans. You can better prepare. You can make choices. Right? Remember that famous quote, right in between
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  stimulus and response, there is a space well, if we don't train our mind to slow down, then that space for a lot of people, is so tiny that it doesn't even exist. And
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  they, they're not even aware that it exists, meaning that something happens. And they there is, like, there is the situation or the stimulus, and there's no gap, there is
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  no breath, there is no pause, right? It's like you want to, you want to put, I always say, like, put a comma in your commentary, in that chatter in your mind, if there is no
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  pause, then we immediately go into habituated response of the ego in this world, which is fear response. It's more like reaction. That's what I always say.
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  There's like I always say, We respond from love, but we react from fear. So in between stimulus and reaction, we want to be able to widen that gap so that when you start to
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  notice, hey, I'm starting to get anxious, I'm starting to get afraid, I'm starting I feel myself about to say, do text, whatever, this thing that I know is not, first of all,
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  going to fully represent who I am. It's a fear reaction, not a love response. So how can we plan for internal storms that might come up inclement weather on the inside,
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  with our thinking and how we're responding to life or reacting to life? Yeah, it's like meditation gives us an opportunity to learn how to train our mind, to Slow the fuck
• 15:06
  down, so that we can make a choice from love, instead of reacting out of fear, so that we can actually represent who we truly are in any given situation, from like, which
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  is love. That's who we are, which is love. So we can do that instead of just being tossed about on the waves. It's like, if you ever had like an emotional tsunami, where
• 15:33
  afterwards you're like, oh my god, I just couldn't help myself. I couldn't control myself, right? And this is something that people who I I've known so many people of
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  these, especially when I was younger, who did things and said things and then they blamed it on the fact that they were drunk. And I was like, okay, so I never want to be
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  I never want to be in a place where I cannot take responsibility for what I said, what I thought, what I did. You know, I don't. That's why, one of the things, like one of
• 16:03
  the small, teeny, small reasons, that I stopped drinking a wicked long time ago, I'm not in you know, I always say, you know, people will say to me, are you sober? And I
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  say, I'm just a non drinker. I just decided I don't want to drink anymore. And one of the things is, is I never wanted to be at the mercy of some substance beyond myself. I
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  didn't want to be putting things in my body that were not going to help me show up as my best self. I'm like, I'm over here trying to awaken to my true nature, right, which is
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  love, to remember that I'm one of God's kids, to try and make good choices. Why do I want to keep putting things in my body that are putting me to sleep, that are numbing
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  me, that are that inebriating my senses, right? Like, I want to be present, you know, and be able to say, like, yeah, like, I did that, I blew that, I apologize, I own that.
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  I don't want to be able to blame stuff. And when we get angry, when we get upset, there is a biochemical wash, an emotional wash of hormones that, like, flood through our body,
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  right? And I don't ever want to be like, yeah, like, I just reacted. And I think I've talked about this. I think that, you know, this is what happened with my mother. I
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  think that the guy that murdered her and killed her, I mean, he he snapped, he lost touch. He lost touch. He had he left. He vacated. Elvis left the building. He left
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  his right mind, and so being able to use a tool like meditation to slow down the thinking process. You know, yoga. In yoga, you know the second sutra, it says, yoga,
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  chitta, Vritti no rodaha, you means yoga is the stilling of the thought fluctuations. I'm making my hands like all jittery, right? The thought fluctuations of the mind yoga is
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  we always think yoga is postures, it's asanas, it's doing hot, sweaty, whatever, right yoga. What it really is is the stilling of the mind. And it's in that
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  still, quiet place Be still and know that I am, Be still and know it is in that stillness and the postures simply prepare us for the more still, deeper spiritual
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  practice, that we can remember who we really are. We can remember our union, right, with God, with source, with the universe, with the Creator, whatever you want to call it,
• 18:30
  with love, right? That's the whole purpose. So having these tools, I've been a yoga teacher for so long. First and foremost, I went first because I needed it me and my
• 18:42
  body needed it. And then I realized, like, Oh, this is more than that, like me and my brain. And then it was like, Oh, my spirit too, right? Like, so for me, yoga helps the
• 18:51
  emotional, the spiritual, the mental and the physical, right? It's a really powerful practice, and we can use it as part of right, an extension of our DSP, our daily
• 19:02
  spiritual practice having a mantra. And I'm just giving you examples of how having, you know, this kind of, these kind of supportive tools, and then we'll talk about community
• 19:12
  in a moment, is so powerful. Because what a mantra does is it keeps you from reacting, and it keeps you from acting from that place of fear. You know, one of the most powerful
• 19:24
  things you can do when you get upset, emotionally triggered, angry, whatever is to take a brisk walk. I learned this from my meditation teacher, ashwaran. He's like, you
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  know, when you feel yourself like getting getting agitated, getting triggered, getting upset, getting anxious, getting afraid, take a brisk walk and repeat your mantra,
• 19:47
  sometimes also called a mantra with an M at the end. And a mantra is not a positive affirmation. I have to say this because a lot of people think that oh, if I just say
• 19:59
  um. You know that that whole, what's that whole joke? That was it Edward Smalley, the fictional character on SNL, whatever. And he would look in the mirror and he'd say, you
• 20:07
  know, I'm beautiful and everybody loves me, or whatever, right? Those are more like positive affirmations, but a mantra is like a holy word or a holy name or a phrase,
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  something that comes from something that's been around for a wicked long time, right? Some people use like, literally like a sound, like a Sanskrit, sound like om, or
• 20:30
  whatever. But some people use like prayers, like a little section of a prayer, or Buddhist will sometime use like om, Mani, Padme home. A Catholic kid might use hail
• 20:40
  Mary full of grace, or, you know, Jesus have mercy on us, or whatever you might say, right? Some people will use Hari Rama, Hari Rama, or just Rama, Rama, Rama, which is
• 20:50
  just another, another name or word for God, right? It means like joy, right? So there's mantras are like vibratory sounds that have proven, have proven themselves over over a
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  millennia, or whatever, decades, 1000s of years, or whatever it is to be helpful to people, which is really different than just a positive affirmation or word that you
• 21:11
  would say. So when you choose a mantra, maybe I'll do a whole episode on that. But when you choose a mantra, it's something that you would use. So let's say you have a
• 21:19
  longer mantra, like Hari, Rama, Hari, Rama, Rama, Rama, Hari, Hari, Hari Krishna, Hari Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, Hari, Hari, right? Maybe you have something longer,
• 21:26
  right? So it's like basically singing the names of the words of God. Well, you start to get upset. You can just take a little piece of that and just repeat to yourself,
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  Ram ra like as you're briskly walking, because it starts to bring your mind right back to the moment. It keeps you from acting and reacting. It gives your mind something
• 21:48
  else to focus on, so that chemical wash of emotions can move through you. It's only like 90 seconds, right? But if you've ever gotten into an argument with somebody and
• 21:58
  said something, you can't take back. It's because you got hijacked, like you got triggered, your trauma center, the amygdala, whatever you want to say. And when that goes
• 22:07
  online, what kind of goes offline is the prefrontal cortex, where you make where you do some of your best thinking, where you make good choices, right? And so a lot of
• 22:16
  times, when people will say, you know, like, what were you thinking? Or we'll say to ourselves afterwards, what was I thinking? The answer is, you weren't. You weren't
• 22:25
  thinking because you were not in your right mind. So these tools are ways that we can prepare for the unexpected, for the weather, storms internally, of life that we cannot
• 22:39
  always predict. But again, we've been around long enough to see some stuff go down, and we know that it would behoove us at this eight don't we? Don't we, guys, don't we,
• 22:51
  don't we? At this point know that it would benefit us to have some tools at our toolkit, some spiritual tools, some tools that help us to regulate our nervous
• 23:03
  systems. And then, if we just so, think of it like this. I know so many triathletes, so many incredible athletes and swimmers and whatever, right body builders, lifters,
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  whatever. So, just like you might train for a race or train for an event or train for a marathon or whatever. Just like we have to build and prepare and train our physical
• 23:27
  muscles, it is also important to train our spiritual muscles, what Marion Williamson calls, sometimes our attitudinal muscles, and she might have gotten that from A Course
• 23:40
  in Miracles. But this is what, having a DSP, this is what. And of course, in miracles, the daily workbook lessons, this is preparation. It is preparing you, and you
• 23:52
  can prepare. Think of it like this as well, right? So I'm giving you all these examples so that maybe something will like, oh yeah. Like, resonate with you, and you'll go like,
• 24:02
  Oh yeah. Okay, so just like we are told to put aside three to six months worth of like, bills right in an emergency savings account so you slowly start to prepare and build
• 24:18
  that you may never need it, but, man, if your car needs a new transmission, if you need new ties unexpectedly, if all of a sudden something happens and you get a
• 24:29
  medical bill, or you need a new washer and dryer, like whatever, it is so helpful to know that you have prepared and set aside that money so that if and when the time
• 24:42
  comes right, you don't have to scramble, you don't have to stress yourselves out. You don't have to have the struggle turn into suffering, because you've prepared. And so
• 24:55
  much of the work that I do with people is I often say it's like. It's like unlearning shit, learning some new shit, and then relearning some stuff, right? Like helpful
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  things, tools and stuff like that, right? And not everybody right. Might have the means or whatever to work with me one on one. It's also why I do this podcast, right?
• 25:16
  Because this is a free resource, and the nest, you know, is a monthly thing, 50 bucks a month. Come join us. You get two group coaching calls, right? Two group mentoring
• 25:27
  calls. We gather together online and community. We also have a community group where people are incredibly supportive. You know, we have people who are going through
• 25:35
  some stuff right now, parents who have passed away. You know, things are going on with their parents as they're aging, like things are coming up in their relationship,
• 25:43
  things are coming up in their business, like just life is lifeing and people are peopling. And when you have a supportive community right around you, you know there
• 25:55
  is nothing like knowing, and they call it a safe place. I can't say like this is going to be a safe place for you, because you and your nervous system, you know, decide that.
• 26:06
  But what I can do is do my best to try to create an environment where safety can be experienced and we don't have time to screw around anymore. You guys, you know this.
• 26:19
  There's some stuff going on in the world, and we need to be prepared. And if we do not have spiritual strength, if we do not have spiritual muscles, if we do not start to
• 26:32
  strengthen our love muscles, right? Because one of the things I'll never forget Mary Ann Williamson saying this to me one time, and you know, she has said it also, you know, in
• 26:42
  public as well. But people who hate hate with conviction. They are very determined, and they are very like they've got a plan. People who love, people who are coming from
• 26:55
  that point of view, from that place, we need to love with the same amount of conviction, we need to strengthen ourselves, and we need to prepare so that these struggles that
• 27:07
  we're going through do not have to turn into and there's already so many people suffering. And if we don't prepare ourselves, how are we going to be able to
• 27:17
  show up and help if we do not have any resources ourselves, emotional resources, spiritual resources, physical resources, financial resources. So the time? What do
• 27:30
  they say? When's the best time to plant a tree, like 100 years ago? When's the second best time now? So like, start today. Start today. Maybe stop putting a little money in
• 27:42
  your savings account as much as you can, even if it's like $1 I'm not even kidding, just start to build that habit and that momentum. Maybe you want to start getting
• 27:51
  your body physically right, prepared for whatever life is going to bring you. Some of us are aging Right. Like, I'm 56 and I'm like, I always say, I'm not going down
• 28:00
  without a fight, right? We want to stay strong. Two best things we can do, keep muscle on your body, stay strong and keep your cardiovascular health up. I always say
• 28:12
  I want to be able to run and move if I need to, and I want to be able to pick things up if I have to. Right. So strength and cardiovascular health are so important. So
• 28:24
  we are just, just accept that we need to prepare. And this isn't like coming from a fear place. I'm just coming from a reality place. I don't think there's anything
• 28:34
  spiritually enlightening, but pretending that shit is not going down right. And this isn't even like, about, like, just big, bad things. I'm just talking about in your day
• 28:44
  to day life. Stress creeps in. Moments creep in. Things are going to happen. Somebody's going to say something at work. Somebody's going to make a racist comment. If we do not
• 28:55
  have the preparation to stand in our values and to stand in knowing what matters to us. We might let a comment like that just slip by,
• 29:05
  and if we're not willing and able, we haven't done our work to bolster ourselves up in what matters to find like the assignment is alignment. You guys, you know
• 29:16
  I'm doing my little my little hands, where I bring them together, right? The assignment is alignment, and we have to start aligning with ourselves. And here's the thing, we
• 29:26
  have the advantage, because stuff is already going down. We don't need a meteorologist to tell us that life is going to be lifeing and people are going to be people in so this is
• 29:37
  a just as like a little love letter from my hat to yours. Just a little nudge, a little nudge to say, hey, let's start now. So I invite you always, always on this show, I
• 29:50
  invite you come join the nest if you're somebody who wants more personalized or one to one work. Come work with me in the quest one to one spiritual mentoring. Or keep
• 29:59
  listening. To the podcast, share it with some people. Help me to spread more love in the world, right? Help me to help people help themselves. But also being in a
• 30:08
  community of like minded people is game changing. So you know how they say the weather outside is frightful. The weather outside right now is a little frightful on
• 30:22
  multiple levels, and we want to be able to have an internal system right like where the weather is a little more pleasant and balmy, and we know if it goes to shit, if some shit
• 30:35
  goes down, we are prepared. You can prepare. Okay, that's what I got to say this week right now. I always say I reserve the right to change my mind. This is what I think
• 30:47
  right now. This is what I'm feeling. This is what's on my heart, in my mind. I always reserve the right, because I said like I could be smarter in bed at 20 minutes from
• 30:55
  now. Never mind. 20 days, 20 weeks, 20 months, 20 years, right? So this is, this is just what's coming up in my heart to share with you. I hope you're having a fantastic
• 31:05
  day, wherever you are, wherever you're listening from, and, as I always say, wherever you go. May you leave. Oh, I should also say you want to find out about the
• 31:16
  nest, the quest and all that, just go to my website. Karen, K a r, e n, k, e n, n, e, y.com, Karen kenney.com, is where you can find all the shenanigans. Okay, wherever you
• 31:27
  go. May you leave the people, the animals, the places, the environment and yourself better than how you first found it, them. You, wherever you go, may you and your
• 31:42
  energy, your presence and your love and your preparation be a blessing. Bye. Hey. Thanks so much for listening to the show. I really love spending some time together. Now, if
• 31:55
  you dig the show or know someone that could benefit from this episode, please share it with them and help me to spread the good word and the love. And if you want to be in
• 32:05
  the know about all of my upcoming shenanigans, head on over to Karen kenney.com/sign up and join my list. It'll be wicked fun to stay in touch. Bye. You.