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Becoming Who You Want to Be When Life Gets in the Way · Honoring My Temple

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Honoring My Temple podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to put God at the center of your life and live that out practically through your health, habits, and everyday choices, this podcast is for you.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Kelly Wenner, founder of Soul Strength Fit and author of Honoring My Temple.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Here we explore biblical wisdom and how to apply it to real life, your mindset, food, exercise, and the habits that shape who you're becoming.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get started.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Years ago, I was an elementary school teacher.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: For a little over 15 years, I had the privilege of teaching second grade at a wonderful local public school.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And all these years later, I still remember one particular conversation that took place in our staff room over lunch.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Our school was fortunate to have several specialists who work with our students, teaching everything from art and music to PE and hands-on science.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: These classes were wonderful opportunities for the kids, but as any teacher can imagine, managing a classroom full of energetic children wasn't and isn't always easy.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: And for whatever reason, we had a particularly difficult time keeping a music teacher.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: One would come, one would go, would find someone who was great with music but struggled with classroom management, or someone who could manage the classroom but didn't have much musical experience.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, one day we just hired another new music teacher.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: It was her very first day on the job, and we were only halfway through the school day when she walked into the staff room for lunch and made an announcement that I have never forgotten.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I guess her morning hadn't gone quite as planned because she looked at all of us sitting in there and she said, I'd be a good teacher if it weren't for the kids.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I really hope there's someone listening with a background in teaching who can appreciate just how funny that statement is.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I would be a good teacher if it weren't for the kids.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what made it even funnier.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: She was completely serious.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: She wasn't joking or being sarcastic.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: She was genuinely frustrated with how her classes had gone that morning.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And she honestly believed that she would be a good teacher if only she didn't have all these kids to deal with.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember us looking at one another, trying not to laugh, because of course we'd all be great teachers if it weren't for the kids.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it, I could sit at home and create the most wonderful lesson plans.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: I could plan the perfect morning circle time where every child listens attentively, raises their hand, and contributes something thoughtful to the discussion.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: I could plan a lesson where every student understands exactly what I'm teaching, quietly absorbing every word like a little sponge.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, we could move on to independent work where every child is so engaged and enthusiastic that they eagerly complete their assignments while I simply stroll around the classroom with a content smile, offering a little assistance here and there.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because it sounds wonderful, doesn't it?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: But is that the reality of teaching second grade?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because teaching isn't just about creating great lesson plans.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's about actually teaching a classroom full of real children, each with their own personalities, needs, abilities, and challenges.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where the real work begins.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: You can plan and prepare all you want, and you absolutely should, but you also have to be willing to adjust those plans when things don't go the way that you expected.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: You have to recognize when something isn't working, make changes on the fly, and sometimes throw out your beautiful lesson plan altogether and come up with something new.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And through it all, you need patience, perseverance, flexibility, and honestly, a whole lot of self-control to keep showing up day after day with enthusiasm and love.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what's so striking about that music teacher's statement?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think we say versions of that very same thing in our own lives all the time.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, it struck me recently because I caught myself doing exactly that.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you've listened to this podcast much or gotten to know me at all, you've probably heard me mention that I have a tendency to struggle with anxiety.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: I can play scenario after scenario over and over again in my mind.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I'm replaying things that have already happened.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Other times I'm worrying about things that haven't even happened and may never happen.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And before I know it, my thoughts have shifted from what is true, noble, and right, as Philippians 4.8 encourages us to think about to everything that might go wrong, everything I'm afraid of, everything that's completely outside of my control.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Just the other day, I was worrying about something involving one of my kids.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I caught myself thinking how much more peaceful I would be if I just didn't have teenagers and young adults to worry about.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying I don't want teenagers and young adults.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying I would be more peaceful if I didn't have all that to worry about, if I didn't have these big, important things weighing on my mind.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: I could be so much more calm, so much less anxious.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: I could be the person I want to be, someone who experiences that peace of God that transcends all understanding, someone who is joyful, calm, and able to trust God instead of constantly worrying about what might happen.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: If only I didn't have all these things to worry about.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly that conversation in the staff room from all those years ago came rushing back to me.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be a good teacher if it weren't for the kids.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And here I was, essentially saying the very same thing.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be a peaceful person if it weren't for the things in my life that threaten my peace.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: But wait a minute, isn't that exactly when I need to learn to trust God?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: When there is something to worry about, when the situation is uncertain, when I don't know what's going to happen, and when the outcome is completely outside of my control.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: But learning to experience God's peace when life is uncertain, learning to take those anxious thoughts captive, turn it to him in prayer, and trust him with the things that I can't control.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's where the growth happens.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And it made me realize something.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: What if the circumstances we're wishing would go away were actually some of the very opportunities we have to become the people we want to be?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Just think about that for a minute.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: We want to be patient, but we don't want anyone testing our patience.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: We want to have self-control, but we wish we never had to face temptation.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: We want to trust God, but would really prefer a life where everything was certain and we never had anything to worry about.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: We want to be disciplined, but only when it's convenient.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, how do we actually develop these qualities if we never have the opportunity to practice them?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: This reminds me of something that James writes about in the first chapter of his letter.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: James 1, 2 to 4 tells us to consider it joy when we face trials of many kinds, because the testing of our faith produces perseverance.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And as perseverance does its work, we grow toward spiritual maturity.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I don't think James is telling us to enjoy difficulties or pretend that they're not difficult.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: He's reminding us that God can use the difficult things that we experience to grow something valuable in us.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's such an important perspective to have.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes we're so focused on wishing that our circumstances were different that we miss the opportunity to respond differently right where we are.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And this applies to so many areas of our lives.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was sharing this whole thing, this whole realization with my husband.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And he laughed and said, Yeah, I'd be a good driver if it weren't for all the idiots on the road.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I laughed because, well, he's right.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: But there's always going to be bad drivers on the road.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: So if we want to be good drivers, if we want to become more patient, more gracious people, we can't wait for everyone else to start driving perfectly.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: We have to practice patience right there in the middle of traffic, when someone cuts us off or drives 15 miles under the speed limit.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Or think about marriage.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we find ourselves thinking, I'd be a much better wife if my husband would just fill in the blank, help around the house more, stop leaving his dirty clothes on the floor, stop doing that one thing that drives me crazy.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: But what if instead of waiting for our husbands to change, we asked ourselves how we could respond with more patience, kindness, and love.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this doesn't mean our circumstances don't matter, or that we shouldn't work to change things that genuinely need to change.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Of course we should, but we don't have to make becoming the person we want to be entirely dependent on what someone else does or on circumstances.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just other people we tend to blame.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we convince ourselves that our schedules and responsibilities are what's keeping us from becoming the people we want to be.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: We tell ourselves we'll be more consistent with Bible study, or more organized, or more intentional with our days, if only we weren't so busy.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: But what if instead of wishing we had more time, we took a closer look, for example, at how we're using the time we already have?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: What if we took an honest look at how we spend our time, where we are allowing distractions to creep in?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Could we get up 15 minutes earlier?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Could we set aside a specific time each day for reading God's word and prayer?
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we don't need an entirely different schedule.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we need to start making different choices with the schedule we already have.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: And this certainly applies to our health and fitness.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's so easy to say I'd exercise regularly if my job were different or if my job weren't so demanding.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: But if our job isn't changing anytime soon, then we need to accept where we are.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: What can I change?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: How can I adjust?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Could we get up a little earlier?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe just do shorter workouts, schedule exercise like any other important appointment.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's easy to say I'd eat healthier if I weren't so hungry when I got home from work.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what if that's something that you could plan for?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can stock your fridge with healthy options or have food prepared so that there's something easy to grab when you're tired and you're hungry and you know that you're going to reach for something unhealthy.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's simply self-control around food.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: We can tell ourselves I'd be more disciplined if there weren't so many tempting foods in the house.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: I hear this from parents all the time.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: I get it.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a parent too.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: If if I didn't have all this food that my teens want, that my kids want in the house.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Or if I just didn't crave something sweet every evening.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And certainly, being wise about our environment and planning ahead helps tremendously.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: But we can also learn to respond differently when temptation comes.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: We can stop for a moment, pray, ask God for wisdom and strength.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like literally pray right in that moment.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Remind ourselves of the choices we've committed to and why they matter.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: And little by little, through all those everyday opportunities to choose differently, we can begin developing the self-control we desire.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's something I don't want us to miss.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to do all of this in our own strength.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Second, Timothy 1.7 reminds us that God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: We are not powerless to change.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: God has given us what we need to begin making different choices, even when our circumstances are difficult.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean we'll never struggle, doesn't mean we'll never feel anxious, tempted, frustrated, impatient.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: But when those moments come, we do have a choice.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: We can allow our circumstances to dictate how our life goes, to dictate how we respond, to dictate who we become.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Or we can choose to respond in a way that reflects the person that we deeply want to become.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: And when we don't get it right the first time, we can learn from our mistakes.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: We can make adjustments just like a teacher, and we can keep trying.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, that music teacher was right about one thing.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Teaching teaching would be a whole lot easier without the kids, but it wouldn't be teaching.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: And in the same way, becoming a patient person would be easier if nobody ever tested our patience.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe trusting God would be easier if I never had anything to worry about.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe self-control would be easier if we never faced temptation.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not the reality of the life we're living.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to wait for our circumstances to change before we begin becoming the people we want to be.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be a good teacher if it weren't for the kids.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, where in your own life might you be thinking something similar?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be a better blank if it weren't for blank.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: What is it for you?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: What circumstance, situation, or obstacle have you allowed to stand between who you are today and the person you want to become?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: And more importantly, what would it look like to begin becoming that person right in the middle of the circumstances you're facing today?
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to work on being more patient with your husband or your kids, even when they're driving you crazy.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're spending too much time worrying about things you can't control, and you need to learn to turn those worries over to God.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you've been putting off making changes to your health and your health habits because life is busy.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's time to figure out how to make those changes within the life you're living right now.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is, don't wait for your circumstances to change before you start becoming the person you want to be.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Ask God to help you recognize those moments.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Plan and prepare where you can, be willing to adjust when things don't go as expected, and keep asking Him for the wisdom, strength, patience, and self-control to respond differently.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because maybe the very circumstances you're wishing away are the opportunities for God to grow something new in you.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for spending this time with me.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: To learn more, visit SoulStrengthFit.com.