Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Timid Benjamin Emcees A Charity
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: You guys in this room. No, I slay the charity auctions.
- 0:03Speaker 2: Right, you do th joke.
- 0:08Speaker 1: The charity auction circuit.
- 0:10Speaker 3: Brook.
- 0:10Speaker 1: I come in there with my tucks, throw out some zingers,
- 0:14Speaker 1: grab somebody's to pay, toss back of Martin, raise a
- 0:18Speaker 1: cool seven figures, and then I'm done. But I'll tell
- 0:23Speaker 1: you it's not that easy for everyone. In fact, one
- 0:26Speaker 1: woman who's putting one on for the very first time
- 0:28Speaker 1: is freaking out right now because she hasn't spoken with
- 0:31Speaker 1: her MC yet. Event they run the whole show, she's
- 0:38Speaker 1: about to meet him, and it could be possibly the
- 0:41Speaker 1: worst fit ever because his name is Timid Benjamin. Yeah,
- 0:46Speaker 1: he's ready to go all in for charity with your
- 0:48Speaker 1: phones out right now.
- 0:50Speaker 2: Another on the twenties, Hello, I is this Marie? Yeah?
- 1:02Speaker 2: Who's this?
- 1:03Speaker 4: My name is is Benjamin from Event Speakers, and I
- 1:08Speaker 4: was hired to be the MC for your your charity
- 1:11Speaker 4: auction this weekend.
- 1:14Speaker 3: You're the MC?
- 1:16Speaker 4: Yes? That is that is correct? Or as as the
- 1:20Speaker 4: French would say, and I took one year of French
- 1:29Speaker 4: in middle school.
- 1:30Speaker 3: I'm shore okay, I need to talk to you about
- 1:33Speaker 3: the charity event.
- 1:36Speaker 4: Actually, I read the event program that you sent okay, great.
- 1:41Speaker 4: It says, join us for a night of good food,
- 1:45Speaker 4: great wine, incredible auction items, all in honor of the animals.
- 1:52Speaker 3: Yeah, I wrote that.
- 1:53Speaker 4: So I have a question, will you be selling illegal
- 1:58Speaker 4: animals that night? Or are we raising funds to capture
- 2:02Speaker 4: some what?
- 2:05Speaker 3: We're raising funds for pets that need homes. Why would
- 2:09Speaker 3: we be capturing animals?
- 2:12Speaker 4: I thought that that sounds more exciting.
- 2:15Speaker 3: Can I ask you about your experience? Have you ever
- 2:19Speaker 3: m seed an event before?
- 2:21Speaker 4: Well, I built a program on my computer. It's called
- 2:27Speaker 4: Charity Event Simulator. What I've told jokes to thousands of
- 2:32Speaker 4: approving avatars and almost sixty percent left.
- 2:37Speaker 3: Yeah, some of them. I don't think that counts as
- 2:40Speaker 3: actual experience seeing that.
- 2:43Speaker 4: Excuse me in real life? Excuse me with real people. Well,
- 2:47Speaker 4: I don't think your opinion matters on that, But excuse me.
- 2:52Speaker 3: I think my opinion definitely matters. Because it's my charity
- 2:56Speaker 3: event that I'm hosting for the first time, and I
- 3:00Speaker 3: there are.
- 3:00Speaker 4: Some some stipulations in my contract. You should know them
- 3:04Speaker 4: before the big event.
- 3:05Speaker 3: I don't even know if you're gonna be performing at
- 3:08Speaker 3: the at the at the event at this point.
- 3:12Speaker 4: First, are you suing me, yes, because I need to
- 3:16Speaker 4: tell you I must have my inhaler on the stage.
- 3:20Speaker 4: My gosh, yeah. Second, do you have perhaps a DJ booked?
- 3:26Speaker 3: Why would I need a DJ? It's it's an auction.
- 3:29Speaker 4: Well, because I really I cracked up the simulator audience
- 3:33Speaker 4: with my Snoop Dogg impression. Oh okay, b o e
- 3:39Speaker 4: p A okay, please stop. Snoop Dogg is in.
- 3:41Speaker 3: The how please stop? You have to stop?
- 3:46Speaker 4: Then that that's from my simulator, Benjamin.
- 3:50Speaker 3: I don't want to be rude.
- 3:52Speaker 4: Actually it's actually a soft j. Then you I didn't
- 3:59Speaker 4: say correctly. Please, I would appreciate if you addressed me properly.
- 4:04Speaker 3: What shaw jay, Benimen what I don't even know how
- 4:07Speaker 3: to say what you're saying. All I'm saying is venimit?
- 4:11Speaker 3: Then then bow me. You are not qualified for my event.
- 4:16Speaker 4: I would appreciate it if you didn't molly coddle me.
- 4:19Speaker 2: Oh what is that?
- 4:20Speaker 3: I don't even know what you're talking about?
- 4:22Speaker 4: Open.
- 4:22Speaker 3: I don't see how you could ever m see any
- 4:25Speaker 3: event in real life.
- 4:26Speaker 4: I have spoken in real groups before.
- 4:30Speaker 3: And what and what groups?
- 4:31Speaker 4: One time at my aunt Helen's bake sale, I had
- 4:34Speaker 4: to make an announcement that the cinnamon twists were two
- 4:37Speaker 4: for one. Okay, I get goose pimples just thinking about
- 4:42Speaker 4: the moment.
- 4:43Speaker 3: Listen, this is one hundred percent not gonna work. You
- 4:46Speaker 3: tell the company. I'll tell the company that I need
- 4:48Speaker 3: someone with real experience.
- 4:50Speaker 4: Your partner, Lisa seems to disagree what I talked to her,
- 4:55Speaker 4: and she said, I have plenty of experience to do
- 4:57Speaker 4: a brank phone call on you. So gotcha.
- 5:04Speaker 1: Oh my god, my real name is jeff from the
- 5:07Speaker 1: radio show Broke and Jeffrey in the Morning. We're doing
- 5:08Speaker 1: a phone tap on you.
- 5:10Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh my god.
- 5:14Speaker 3: You didn't sound like yourself. Problem.
- 5:20Speaker 1: It's just me in the room today doing this. But
- 5:22Speaker 1: Lisa is the one who set you up. She says,
- 5:25Speaker 1: this is the first time that you're doing the auction,
- 5:28Speaker 1: and you were kind of nervous that you hadn't had
- 5:29Speaker 1: your speaker locked down yet.
- 5:31Speaker 3: So much pressure.
- 5:32Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm very very good under pressure, just like my
- 5:39Speaker 4: idle Snoop Dogg, theod I.
- 5:43Speaker 2: Know music Store.
- 5:46Speaker 1: I'm not
- 5:52Speaker 3: Week up every morning was phone taps weekday mornings on
- 5:55Speaker 3: the twenties, Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning