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212. It's not complicated, It's Happiness · Your Enriched Self

• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Hello, my friends from all across the globe, and welcome
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: to the Your and rich Self Podcast. I am your host,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Mailee Noir. I am an emotional wellness and empowerment coach,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: and what that means is I am here for you.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: I am your mindset advocate. I know in this world,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: in your world, in your space, you do a lot,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: but when do you spend time managing your thoughts. It
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: is rare that you take time to manage your thoughts.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: And that's what this podcast is all about. That's what
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: this work is all about, and this journey of becoming
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: more of your enriched self. So, if you landed here
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: and this is your first time listening to this podcast,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: I want to thank you for being here. I know
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: that you were brought here on purpose, for a purpose,
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: and I want to thank you for being here. If
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: you are a repeat listener, I want to thank you
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: from the bottom of my heart because I know that
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: it is because of you and your participation, your commitment.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: You being here right now is why we still have
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: a podcast. So thank you for all that you've done
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: and all that you continue to do to like, share, post,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: and bring your friends and family along with this journey.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: That you're having to become more enriched. So thank you,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. Now, before I get started with
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: this week's episode, one of the things I do each
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: and every week is I make a deposit into the
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: bank of you, and I do that by way of affirmations.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Affirmations are a great way to start your day and
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: to command your morning. And this week's after I choose peace, clarity,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: and presence. Happiness is already within me. I choose peace, clarity,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: and presence. Happiness is already within me. I choose peace, clarity,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: and presence. Happiness is already within me. Now, let's get
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: ready for this week's episode of the Your Enriched Self podcast. Listen,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: life is complicated. There are so many facets to your
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: life and to life in general that makes things challenging.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: That brings complexities to your day, to your life, to
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: your situation. And I just want to bring back a
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: very simple concept. I want to remove the complexity around happiness. Nowadays,
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: there are so many things happening in our world. I'm
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: sure you're dealing with the many things you're dealing with.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: And here's the thing. It's not to say bad things
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: are always happening. Some of you are just really in
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: a season of being busy, and that busyness is you know,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: kind of overwhelming at times, but rewarding at the end
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: of the day, you know what I mean by that.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: But some people are really going through some tough situation,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: some hard times, and maybe those times don't last for
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: a long time. And it depends on your definition of
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: a long time, because a long time be a week
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: for some people, or it can be a few months, right,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: But there are many, many things that are being lived through.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: As many people say, life be life in and life
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: is life in and when it life's like that. I
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: want to break down a very simple thing that we
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: tend to make very complex, and that's happiness. We all
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: want to be happy, Honestly. I want to use the
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: word joy because happiness often is tied to things, to experiences,
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: to people, and joy is something that we need to cultivate.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: That's where I draw the difference between happiness and joy,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: and it has to be cultivated from somewhere, right. It
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: really is something that's within. And as much as I
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: love peace, I love joy of happiness. And we all
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: do strive and want to live a life where we're happy.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: So I wanted to make happiness not so complicated with
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: this episode by simplifying things. For one, happiness is peace.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Happiness is peace. I know that when I have something
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: like quiet time, I am at peace, and when I'm
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: at peace, I am happy. I hope you see the correlation.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: So it's not possessions. Like I said. You know, we
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: often equate happiness to achievements and the milestones we hit, right,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: We've done this great thing at the gym. You know,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I love to talk about my experience at the gym
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: and my growth at the gym and the milestones I had,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: But you know, those are all always gonna be in
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: the temporary zone, because even though I did a great
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: thing this week, I'm gonna be now chasing the next
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: milestone next week. And so what was happy in season
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: A or last week this week is gonna be something different,
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  Speaker 1: and so true happiness, true happiness is when the noise fades,
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  Speaker 1: when I'm no longer at the gym performing or doing
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: my thing, or I'm not in the office and I
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: walk out the building at five o'clock. If I'm lucky
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: and I'm now in a quiet space, what am I
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: experiencing in that moment? When I'm sitting on my deck
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  Speaker 1: and I'm having a cup of coffee and I hear
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  Speaker 1: the birds chirping and the dog the next door who
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: tends to be barking sometimes, might you know, bark up
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: for a minute, and it's just me and nature, Me,
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: myself and nature. Honestly, that's what happiness means to me.
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  Speaker 1: That's my moment of peace. I don't care if it's
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: for ten minutes before the world wakes up or my
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: family wakes up. It's my moment of happiness. And you
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: notice I'm not talking about possessions. I'm not talking about
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: the milestones. I'm simply talking about the moment, the peace.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Here's what I've also come to realize. Happiness is about clarity.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Have you ever walked through a season of your life
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: where you're just not clicking on all cylinders and you're wondering, Man,
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: I am missing some things. There's part of the puzzle
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: I don't have, so there's no clarity on maybe where
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I need to go, or the steps I need to take,
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: or what needs to happen. We've all been there. I
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: know you've been there. Happiness is when you have that clarity,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: when there is an elimination of confusion. See what happens
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: in the season of confusion is that we're over analyzing.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: You find yourself over analyzing. You find yourself in a
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: spirit of comparison. Right you're looking to see what this
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: person's doing. You're looking to see what that person's doing.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: You're looking over your shoulder, You're looking into your future.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: You're looking back to see what you missed that you
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: should have gotten, because if you had gotten it, you
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: would have been where you needed to be instead of
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: where you are, and you're not where you're supposed to
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: be in the future. Confusion noise, and we're chasing that future.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: We're chasing now where we want to go, not appreciating
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: we have now. Maybe you didn't have the clarity two
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: years ago, maybe you didn't have the understanding and the
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: insight five years ago, but here you stand today. You
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: have more clarity. You might not have clarity on everything,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: you might not be seeing everything crystal clear, but man,
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: you're seeing it so much differently. Your perspectives have changed,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: your experiences have landed you in a position of today,
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: and you have something that you didn't have before. That
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: confusion is starting to dissipate. And you're left with clarity.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: You're starting to choose simplicity over complexity, and it's freaking
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: you out because you're like, man, i've got time back.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: I figured out some things. I've said that even here
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: on this podcast about my journey as a podcaster. When
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I started off, man, I was putting the wheels on
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: the car as it drives off. As people say, I
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: probably didn't say it right, but when I started this journey,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: I was maybe not so confused, but things were really complex.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: And man, the clarity I had when I started even
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: a year ago to now is so different. It's so different,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: and I found happiness. I found more joy doing this
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: than I did even at the beginning because I found clarity.
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  Speaker 1: Hope that makes sense. The last thing I'll say about happiness,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I just want to make it simple for you. I
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: want to take out the complexity of happiness. We make
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: it so complex. Is that happiness is being just being,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: not doing. See the thing about it is a lot
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: of people equate happiness to accomplishments, but happiness isn't just
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: about the accomplishments. Yes, accomplishments do make you feel good,
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: and they should, but that's not what it's all about
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  Speaker 1: That's not the end of the sentence. It is how
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: you are experiencing life. For example, when I walk outside,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: especially of my office, right, I work in the office
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: five days a week. I think a lot of people
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: work in the office five days a week. If you're
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: not enjoy the being, right, that's the point. Enjoy the
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: being in your home. Enjoy the fact that you're at home.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: You're just being at home. You're not doing anything while
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: you're working. But happiness now is transferable, translatable, relatable to
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: me simply taking a ten to fifteen minute walk on
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: my campus, which by the way, is a beautiful campus.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for that. We have swings on the campus.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: We have outdoor games on a campus. We have a
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: multitude of areas to sit, benches, chairs, lawn chairs, you
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: name it, we got it. The views are spectacular. My
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: campus sits on a former golf course or something like that,
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: and so the lawn scape, the landscape, the waterfalls, all
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: the things are there, and I get to enjoy. I
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: just get to be outdoors and I see people tethered
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  Speaker 1: to their desk, and I realize I'm making a conscious
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  Speaker 1: decision every time I walk towards the elevators, hit that
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  Speaker 1: button to go down to the lot and walk out
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: the building. It does something for me. It takes out
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: the complexity of happiness. A lot of people feel like
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: when I leave this office, when the day is over,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: when I walk out and I get in my car,
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  Speaker 1: that's what I'm gonna be happy. No, it's not. You're
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: not savoring the little moments. Today I had a chance
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: to catch up with a friend at work. I haven't
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: talked to that person in a while. That is a moment.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: That's something to savor. We're missing those things by looking
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: for the big moments. Well, I'm taking a big trip
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: this year for my birthday, and I'm taking a big
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: trip this year with my friends. What about the moment?
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: What about being here now? Something as simple as receiving
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: a compliment, I promise you. This used to be something
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: very hard for me to accept and even receive. But
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: when somebody pays you a comp the thank you that
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: comes after that, the heartfelt thank you, the appreciation of
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: somebody recognize you for whatever reason. Maybe they're like the
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: lipstick color or the hair or whatever it is, or
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: they like the joy you bring when you walk into
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: a room. I don't know what it is, but receive it.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: It's a beautiful moment of being being recognized, being acknowledged,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: the simple comforts and joys of laughing with a friend. See,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: that's being, and that's happiness. Happiness does not need to
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: be complex. It does not need to be complicated, It
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: does not need to be confusing. It simply needs to
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: be peace and be clarity and be in the moment.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: The little things that you take for granted that you
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: don't acknowledge that you look over. Is it the fact
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: that you just took your shoes off and you can
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: rub your feet together. And I know this sounds really simple,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: because it is. But I'm here to tell you now
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: it's not complicated. It's right in front of you, it's
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: inside of you. It's the joy you get to receive
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: and bring. It is happiness.