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When a highly sensitive man stops distracting himself... (INFJ / INFP) · Lightbearer's Library

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, dear soul, and welcome to the Light Bears Library.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if you've ever gotten to the point where you've gotten rid of a lot of the things that you used to do to pass the time.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: You stopped drinking, stopped gaming so much, stopped scrolling or watching so much Netflix, or other things that you thought were wasting your life.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you expected to feel better.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I know I did.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: But instead, you're bored and wondering what you're actually supposed to do with life, with your life.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: My husband and I have been facing this sense of deep boredom.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And as highly sensitive people, we've spent years trying to escape the world.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because the world can be exhausting with its noise and its smells and its overwhelm.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so we read lots, we think, we work on projects, we learn new things, we exercise, we look after our bodies.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: We're just feeling this sense of emptiness or or or or boredom is what we've labeled it.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so what I th we talked about it last night, and what I think we're actually feeling is loneliness.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And we're lucky we're lucky to have one another.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: But I know many of you are longing for a partner, and I wish you like all the blessings in the world in finding someone that is a good match.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but we're we're tribal creatures, you know, and we need more than just one part one person to to thrive.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: At least that's my own feeling in having, you know, a deep, loving, caring marriage where we can talk about all of these deep, deep things and we're on the same page in a lot of ways.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: We're still both feeling this sense of wanting something, wanting some something more.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that and I think that's what people can bring into our lives.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: We've spent a lot of our time, you know, building businesses and moving a lot.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: So we have we don't have friends in our life right now.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that they other people bring a sense of being fully alive into our lives.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that I've experienced over the last few months in hosting the men's groups and the and the men's sanctuary.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's where we have like this small group of men that show up in online and we meet and speak about you know our our how how it is to be us in the world, all the things that maybe we we wish we could share with others in our lives, but they just wouldn't understand, they wouldn't get it.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: So we share, you know, deep thoughts and deep feelings about life, we witness one another's pains and sorrows.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: But also, I think there's this wonderful thing of like we we find laughter and we fight talk about creativity and the inner child and celebrating the things that are our wins in our life that we're working towards and are and and our and are moving moving through.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's it's yeah, it's both the as we were talking about in a live recently, both bitter and sweet.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: We we we meet each other in the bitterness of life and we celebrate the sweetness of life.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a place, it's I think the thing is is it's it's thrilling to be with one another and and at the same time it's very grounding and very human, it feels very human.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And we find out things when we when we are with other people, you know, and maybe you've had friends in your life at some point, and you find yourself without friends now, and you can think back to the times where you did have friends, and maybe you've never had that experience.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I think we find out things about ourselves when we, you know, are listening to others share about their life in a in a real way, right?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: In um and we hear ideas that we wouldn't have thought we people ask questions of us and themselves that we wouldn't have thought to ask ourselves.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, whoa, that's a really fascinating question, you know.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, you know, people people can irritate us.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: We, you know, we talk about that on the channel a lot, you know.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: They irritate us and they confuse us and they they challenge us, but they can also really delight us and bring us a lot of joy and a lot of laughter, and it can kind of break through that that self-contained life that we tend to, we can we can end up building as maybe highly sensitive people or introverts, whatever, whatever that looks like.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I find myself I've been laughing a lot more by by in being engaged with other people, with men in this community.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And often I felt, I don't know about you, it's like feeling so overwhelmed in trying to figure out how to make connections with other people.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe overwhelmed isn't quite the right word.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's like depending on where you live, it can just have so many challenges to connecting with others.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes in bigger cities, I feel like everyone's so busy and and they don't really want to take the time to get to know people, or people already have friends, and they don't want, they don't have time or space for any other people, or yeah, it's just or we're you know, trying to find introverts, they're all at home, you know, maybe, you know, I don't know.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's like we going out and and meeting others is could be a challenge.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: So in f and and it's a challenge to find people who we connect with, or that there's a similarity that that we maybe our our minds, you know, as intuitives, perhaps we we we see things that other people don't see, or we, you know, we just we're noticing as highly sensitive people, noticing things that other most people aren't noticing.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: So to find people like like us, it's it's difficult.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, you know, people people can bring people who are like us in in similar ways can also bring us fresh perspectives.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I that's what I found is like talking to the men in the men's groups, it's like we there's a there's a shared, a shared sense of moving through the world in a certain way, and yet we all have such different perspectives, so we always learn things about ourselves and each other.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and so for me, that's been a shift and a change in my life is engaging with other other people, men in this community, and even you know, even the the lives have been have been really wonderful spaces to just find that lighter, that lighter side sometimes, and we share in the sorrows, but it's it's a wonderful community that's growing in the lives.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: So if you haven't come to a live, I would really invite you.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: We do one every Sunday, and um sometimes there's other ones during the week.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: I've I want to do more of those because it's I think it fills some of that loneliness and boredom that I'm I've been feeling in my life.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: It adds a sense of unexpectedness.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I don't know where we're gonna go.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: But but the groups, these groups that I've been holding, the the men's sanctuary is full of intuitive, intelligent, thoughtful, kind, curious, and creative men.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's my list currently of adjectives.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the sanctuary, the men's sanctuary is whole held over four weeks with the same group of men.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: So there's time for us to get to know one another over time and be witnessed by the group and share, again, parts, share parts of our lives that we might not have anyone to share with or we wouldn't share with the people that are in our life.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's just like they wouldn't, they wouldn't get it and wouldn't understand.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a place to to be known.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And if you would like to join a men's sanctuary, the next one is starting on October 7th.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's a Wednesday.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it'll be four Wednesdays in a row starting 7th.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: So the links will be below to sign up for that.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd love to have you there.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's a joy, it's the highlight of my week, absolutely.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I would love to know if you have ever found yourself in a similar place.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: This this feeling of of boredom and not sure what life is for and what you're supposed to be doing with it, beyond, you know, like we have these jobs and work, but but beyond that.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, if you've found yourself in that place of being bored or feeling even alone and not having anyone in your life, like I I I feel for you, I know what I know intimately what that feels like.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I have a husband, so I'm not like completely alone, and I give thanks to you know, God, to whatever we want to call that, if if if you don't call it God, that I have my husband.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, but I would love to know what it is that you've found yourself wishing for.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Have you also you know feel like it's other other humans that you're missing, or you know, maybe there's something else that I'm not seeing and I'm missing, or um, yeah, I'd love to hear your thoughts and and feelings about this this this feeling, this experience.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I can't wait to hear what what it is that you share, and I always look forward to hearing from you in the comments.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm wishing you so many blessings.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Signing off for today, XOXO Kate.