Latest / Thinking Out Loud | Kimberly / What If Changing Your Mind Isn’t a Weakness—But Growth? | Thinking Out Loud
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- Kimberly Roller: Episode 1, growth requires the humility to outgrow your past self. listener This podcast for reflection and conversation, not professional advice. I'm sharing my perspective and personal experience. Please use your own judgment and seek appropriate professional guidance when needed. Listen in a way that supportive and safe for you. me, Kimberly. I want to start this podcast thinking out loud about a question that sits at the center of why I'm even here. It's simple, but it's uncomfortable. ⁓ What if changing your mind isn't but growth? ⁓ I used to believe consistency meant Hold your ground. Don't waiver. Don't contradict your past self. I'm not so sure. I've been noticing how often the idea of moral high ground replaces curiosity and how quickly that shuts down compromise, connection and understanding. It makes it hard to look back and say something honest. We weren't wrong. We were learning. The push to start this podcast came from somewhere unexpected. ⁓ Theo von. He made a joke where He would talk about men who marry wives that are very talkative, calling them word perverts. And I honestly thought it was the funniest thing still due to this day. ⁓ it resonated really well with me. husband, he is a word pervert. He knew what he ⁓ He knew what he married and ⁓ still remember the day ⁓ ⁓ was not chatter, make ⁓ And was concerned. ⁓ And funny because in truth, he made me feel safe. He made me feel seen. So for once I didn't feel like I had to talk. ⁓ And honestly, joke Theo von made about talking to women really did hit me. ⁓ And I it helped me ⁓ go a path that really shows who I want to be because yes, I do talk a lot. I talk over people. get restless in silence. I overshare like it's a competitive sport and unfortunately I keep winning. At some point I realized something uncomfortable. What I wanted, what I wanted was to really hear people. It did not match what I was actually doing. I love people. I'm deeply interested in their stories, but it kept circling back to the same thoughts I was having the same thing. wanted to say wanting for ⁓ person who finally needed to hear it when most of the time that person was me. I trying to dominate conversations. I was really just trying to get out of my own head, trying to understand what I felt. ⁓ trying to make meaning out of the noise. ⁓ started thinking out loud, but on purpose, privately. And surprising happened. It helped lessen my need to interrupt and overshare. The more I stopped talking at people, the more connected I felt. The more I listened, the more open people became. more willing to reflect with me, more willing to compromise with me, sometimes even to say, yeah, they might've been wrong. ⁓ And also for me admit that I was wrong and that feels rare right now because admitting that you're seems unheard of when we're living in a world of extremes. All or nothing thinking has become the default. ⁓ We're building clicks instead of communities. We confuse disagreements with hate. We turn who think differently from us into or symbols rather than humans. It feels like social media is just filled with gotcha moments or be be like ⁓ me, this influencer never met before. Even though that isn't actually them, but a brand they're selling a belief. And I don't know about but exhausted. Exhausted of feeling like the world is ending because I used a plastic fork or feeling like I don't belong because I didn't wear pink on the right day ⁓ or replaying a conversation for days because I didn't finish my thought night at dinner. And now I'm convinced everyone thinks I'm an idiot. Politics is also one of clearest places I've noticed the all or nothing shows up. people feel pressure to pick a side, stay loyal to it and defend it at all costs. Changing your perspective can feel like a betrayal instead of growth. And honestly, from where I sit, it feels like everyone is struggling to fix systems that were already complicated and flawed long before. Most of us were paying attention. What I've noticed more than anything is projection. People who hate one political side seems to secretly admire traits that they wish they could express themselves being more direct, more assertive, more accountable, or more flexible. and when something bothered me I started noticing it usually meant there was something unresolved in me, an old embarrassment, a guilt I didn't want to name or a habit of turning someone into a symbol instead of letting them stay a person. That's when I realized something important. ⁓ We can't grow like this as a community. Men versus left versus right, grandparent versus parent. Everything is a war and somehow we're shocked that everyone is burnt out and nothing is changing enough for us to feel like we can breathe. if you want a perfect example of how extreme thinking burns people out, let's look at motherhood where people are being morally evaluated just for existing breast is best or should it really be fed best Natural birth is the expectation and C-sections are framed as the easy way out Which are you serious a major abdominal surgery that can take up to a year a year if not more to fully recover from is easy being cut open, stitched back together, handed a newborn, and told Heal, Bond, Produce Milk, Don't Sleep, and definitely don't complain. Breastfeeding is beautiful. It's also hard, sometimes painful, sometimes not possible. but turned it a moral hierarchy instead of a practical conversation. Instead of asking, is the baby fed? Is the parent supported? We're asking, did you do it the right way? When you're a new parent, you're already questioning everything. You don't need a culture that treats every decision like a permanent personality flaw. This is where middle ground thinking matters. Thinking out loud matters because survival is not failure. Adaptation is not weakness and choosing what works for your body, your baby and your life isn't selfish. It's responsible. Motherhood cracks something open in me. It forced me to sit with uncertainty to admit I didn't know to stop performing confidence and start asking questions. And I don't think that's exclusive to parenting. we can't shame people for trying to live while also telling them the world is ending We can't sabotage each other and then wonder why nothing feels like it's getting better We are all connected and we've stopped asking curious questions like for instance What is tradition and what's trauma? What's culture and what are things that? We just never question long enough to outgrow. That's what thinking out loud is about. Not hot takes, not certainty, not pretending I have the answers, rather trying to get conversation started. It's a soft conversation open to pushback and to allow both diversity and nuance because life isn't an equation. Two plus two, yes, it equals four. But ⁓ logic doesn't fix relationships. Raise children. or build communities. We need diversity to function, diversity of thought. Otherwise, we're just building a hive mind, and history tells us that never ends well. I have opinions, they evolve. What I believe today ⁓ might not what I believe a year from now, and that isn't hypocrisy, it's growth. Most of us ⁓ are grateful we're not the same person we were. like we were when we were two years old. So this podcast me modeling admitting uncertainty, letting my ideas change in real time. Some things require firm decisions. I agree. ⁓ But when it comes to humanity, and parenting, we have to learn how to compromise without it costing someone their dignity. So back to the question that started this. What if changing your mind isn't weakness, but growth? ⁓ I believe changing your mind means you're paying means you're listening. ⁓ means you're to let new information change you. not weakness. That's adaptability. That's self-reflection. That's how humans survive and how communities heal. So welcome to Out Loud. ⁓ I don't have all the answers and for the first time, I'm okay that. If this felt familiar, uncomfortable, or oddly relatable, you're probably in the right place. Thank you for listening to my rambling. This is Thinking Out Loud. I'm Kimberly. If you're looking for a community of people navigating balance and asking honest questions, follow along. We'll keep thinking, we'll keep growing, and we'll keep asking questions together.