Latest / Interview Prep with Fexingo: Behavioral Questions, Case Studies, and Hiring Manager Insights / How to Answer the Tell Me About a Time You Influenced Someone
Transcript
- Lucas: If we've helped you think through a career move or a tough interview, we've got a small request. But first, let's talk about one of the trickiest behavioral questions you can face in an interview — the influence question. Luna: The one that goes, 'Tell me about a time you had to influence someone to see things your way.' It sounds straightforward, but it's actually a minefield. Lucas: Exactly. And we deliberately don't run ads on this show — we want the advice to be purely useful, not interrupted. If you appreciate that, and if the podcast has helped you, the simplest way to support is to buy us a coffee. The link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No perks, no tiers — just a way to keep these episodes ad-free. Luna: Yeah, and it genuinely makes a difference. We're able to spend more time researching examples like the one we're about to dive into. Lucas: So, back to the influence question. I think it trips people up because they either pick a story where they had formal authority — which misses the point — or they pick a story where they barely changed anything. Luna: Right. The interviewer wants to see if you can persuade without power. That's the real skill. Lucas: Let me give you a concrete example. I worked with a marketing manager who was trying to get her VP of Sales to approve a rebrand of a product line. The VP had already rejected it twice. She knew she couldn't just present more data — he didn't trust marketing's numbers. Luna: So what did she do? Lucas: She went to the VP's top sales directors and asked them what they were hearing from customers about the product. She recorded a few short clips — with permission — of directors saying, 'Customers think the brand feels outdated.' Then she invited the VP to listen to those clips in a one-on-one meeting. She framed it as, 'I need your advice on what to do with this feedback.' Luna: That's smart. She let the VP hear the problem from his own people, not from her. Lucas: Exactly. And by asking for his advice, she made him a collaborator, not a target. He ended up not only approving the rebrand but championing it in the next leadership meeting. That story is perfect for the influence question because it shows strategic thinking, empathy, and the willingness to let someone else take ownership. Luna: And I think a lot of people would have said, 'I presented a slide deck with market research.' Which is fine, but it's not as compelling. Lucas: So let's break down the structure. The classic STAR format — Situation, Task, Action, Result — works, but for influence questions you need to lean especially hard on the Action part. The interviewer wants to hear the specific steps you took to understand the other person's perspective and then reframe your idea. Luna: What about the Situation? Should it be a big, high-stakes situation? Lucas: Not necessarily. It's better to choose something that feels authentic to your level. If you're a junior analyst, don't claim you influenced the CEO to change the company strategy. Pick something like convincing your team to adopt a new reporting tool. Luna: I once saw a candidate try to tell a story about how they 'influenced' their boss to give them a raise. The problem was, the boss had already decided to give raises — it was just a matter of timing. That's not influence, that's asking for what's coming. Lucas: That's a great counter-example. Influence has to involve resistance. There has to be a genuine disagreement or inertia that you overcame. If the other person was already leaning your way, it's not a good influence story. Luna: So how do you know if a story has enough resistance? Lucas: Ask yourself: if you had done nothing, would the outcome have been different? If the answer is no, pick another story. The best influence stories often involve changing the mind of a peer or a stakeholder who has different priorities. Luna: There's also a concept called 'pre-suasion' from Robert Cialdini. It's about what you say right before your main ask to make the other person receptive. Like the marketing manager who started with the audio clips — she primed the VP to hear the problem from his own team. Lucas: That's a great lens. And you can practice pre-suasion in your interview answer itself. For example, you might start your story by acknowledging the other person's perspective: 'I knew my colleague was under pressure to cut costs, so I needed to show how my proposal would actually save money in the long run.' That immediately shows the interviewer you understand the dynamics. Luna: Let's talk about another common trap: claiming too much credit. Some candidates say, 'I convinced the entire team to change our process.' But then in follow-up questions, it turns out the team was already discussing it. Lucas: Hiring managers are trained to probe for specifics. They'll ask, 'What was the initial objection?' and 'How did you measure their resistance?' If your answers are vague, the story falls apart. So have a clear moment of resistance. For instance, 'My boss said, 'We don't have the budget for this.' Luna: And what was your specific counter-argument? Lucas: Exactly. For that budget objection, you might say, 'I showed him that the cost of not doing it — in terms of lost efficiency — was three times higher over six months.' You need a number. Luna: Numbers make the story credible. And they also show you did your homework. Lucas: Now, what if you're asked about a time you failed to influence someone? That's another common twist. They'll ask, 'Tell me about a time you tried to influence someone but didn't succeed.' Luna: That's harder. You need to show self-awareness and learning. Lucas: Right. Pick a real failure, but one where the stakes weren't catastrophic. For example, I once tried to convince my team to use a new project management tool, but I rolled it out too fast and people felt overwhelmed. I ended up having to backtrack and implement it more gradually. The lesson was about change management — and the interviewer sees that you can reflect and adapt. Luna: I think the key with the failure version is to show that you still had some positive impact. Maybe you didn't get the tool adopted, but you started a conversation about efficiency. Lucas: Exactly. And that's the same principle as the success story: influence isn't always about winning. Sometimes it's about shifting the conversation. Luna: So let's recap the framework. One, pick a story with genuine resistance. Two, use the STAR format but emphasize the Action — specifically how you understood the other person's perspective. Three, use a specific number or concrete detail to show impact. Four, if it's a failure, show what you learned. Lucas: And practice it out loud. Record yourself telling the story in under two minutes. If it feels too long, cut the Situation shorter — interviewers usually know the context quickly. Luna: One more thing: body language matters when you're telling an influence story. If you lean forward and make eye contact, it actually makes you seem more persuasive. Lucas: That's a great point. The medium is the message. If you're telling a story about influence but you're monotone and looking at the floor, it undermines your credibility. Luna: I think we've given listeners a solid playbook for this question. Any final thoughts? Lucas: Just one: don't overthink it. The influence question is really about your ability to collaborate and communicate. If you prepare one great story, you'll be ready for half the behavioral questions out there. Luna: And if you want more examples, you know where to find us — and you can support the show at that same link Lucas mentioned earlier. Lucas: Thanks for listening. We'll be back next week with another interview question deep dive.