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Spending Money On Things That Bring Joy · She's On The Money

0:00
Speaker 1: Hello.
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Speaker 2: My name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yor the
0:05
Speaker 2: Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we
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Speaker 2: get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would
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Speaker 2: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of
0:14
Speaker 2: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging
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Speaker 2: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through
0:23
Speaker 2: as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
0:27
Speaker 2: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
0:31
Speaker 2: and lasting impact for tomorrow.
0:33
Speaker 1: Let's get into it.
0:34
Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
0:58
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
1:00
Speaker 4: for people who want to be able to enjoy their
1:02
Speaker 4: hard owned money as well as have financial freedom. My
1:06
Speaker 4: name is beck Side and with me as always is
1:08
Speaker 4: Victoria Devine.
1:09
Speaker 1: Hello, my friend. I'm really excited about this because that
1:12
Speaker 1: is a really good point, and sometimes we put these
1:15
Speaker 1: really hard boundaries on ourselves that if we're going to
1:18
Speaker 1: be saving money, you can't spend any of it and
1:21
Speaker 1: you can't enjoy the ride. And that's not as spec.
1:23
Speaker 1: We are all about the journey aren't we Absolutely so?
1:26
Speaker 1: Saving money, having money, reaching goals. It doesn't always bring
1:29
Speaker 1: us joy, does it, Like I mean sometimes it can,
1:32
Speaker 1: But just saving for the sake of it if you
1:34
Speaker 1: have no goal not that exciting. At the end of
1:37
Speaker 1: the day, it's all about your money story and your mindset.
1:40
Speaker 1: And we've done so many episodes exploring money mindset over
1:43
Speaker 1: the years of the show, and I guess this idea
1:46
Speaker 1: of arriving at what your personal financial goals are. And
1:50
Speaker 1: often on the show we're really trying to counterbalance this
1:54
Speaker 1: overwhelming comparison culture that exists that does send people into debt.
1:58
Speaker 1: But today I wanted to talk about something that I
2:02
Speaker 1: think is very important as well. And Beck, I've got
2:05
Speaker 1: a little secret for you. But guess what what. You're
2:09
Speaker 1: actually allowed to spend your money on things that you like.
2:11
Speaker 1: Like you don't have to save all of it, you
2:13
Speaker 1: don't have to invest all of it, you don't have
2:15
Speaker 1: to go really really tough on yourself, like we can
2:18
Speaker 1: have fun.
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Speaker 4: That is good to know because I have been doing
2:21
Speaker 4: just that.
2:21
Speaker 1: You've just been doing just that the whole time.
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Speaker 2: Though.
2:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, well now I'm giving you permission officially, I meanes
2:28
Speaker 1: you will be investing this year. That's a non negotiable. Sure, yeah,
2:31
Speaker 1: like we're getting there. But after the break, you and
2:33
Speaker 1: I are going to be hearing from the community about
2:35
Speaker 1: things that have brought them happiness that they've spent some
2:38
Speaker 1: cash all on. But before that, we're going to step
2:41
Speaker 1: through a bit of I guess the key psychology around
2:44
Speaker 1: how money actually drives our emotions. Because we know that
2:48
Speaker 1: money is inherently emotional.
2:50
Speaker 4: That is why I.
2:50
Speaker 1: Am so passionate about talking about money stories and how
2:54
Speaker 1: you grew up around it, and Beck, what do you
2:56
Speaker 1: value versus what do I value? And please stop looking
2:59
Speaker 1: at me my values when you're trying to work out
3:02
Speaker 1: your own, Like it is inherently emotional, and I think
3:05
Speaker 1: that there's just such a disconnect, especially now, from people
3:09
Speaker 1: being like, well, I have to say for a house,
3:11
Speaker 1: this economy is absolutely screwed, Like oh, I have to
3:13
Speaker 1: you know, invest because I need to create wealth, and
3:16
Speaker 1: you know, there's just this idea of putting pressure on ourselves,
3:19
Speaker 1: but like Beck, we also need to live a little.
3:24
Speaker 4: This is like, honestly one of the most privileged things
3:26
Speaker 4: I've ever heard, and I'm sure you've heard it too.
3:28
Speaker 4: They say, like money doesn't buy happiness, of course, which
3:31
Speaker 4: is you know, all well and good if you have money,
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Speaker 4: But is that really true?
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Speaker 1: Yes and no. So as you know, the saying money
3:41
Speaker 1: doesn't buy happiness, I think is yes very true because
3:45
Speaker 1: you know, having had your money story and me knowing
3:47
Speaker 1: deeply about your money story, and you having shared a
3:50
Speaker 1: lot of it with the community, I'm pretty sure money
3:53
Speaker 1: would have made your life a little bit more comfortable
3:55
Speaker 1: growing up. Yes, even if it was an extra like
3:57
Speaker 1: thirty or fifty bucks a week, right, Like we're not
3:59
Speaker 1: talking about having millions. And then I think, on the
4:02
Speaker 1: flip side, lots of people say flippant things that really
4:05
Speaker 1: disregard how important money is for day to day life.
4:09
Speaker 1: They'll be like, money doesn't buy happiness, but I prefer
4:11
Speaker 1: to cry in a maserati. You're missing the point entirely.
4:15
Speaker 1: But according to a study that was released last year
4:18
Speaker 1: by the British Journal of Social Psychology, whether or not
4:21
Speaker 1: money can buy happiness is actually dependent on how our
4:25
Speaker 1: purchases align with our goals. Almost like I paid them
4:29
Speaker 1: to do that research. I didn't, but I love that
4:31
Speaker 1: they've done this research as we have. In this study,
4:34
Speaker 1: Beck researchers asked four hundred and fifty two participants in
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Speaker 1: an online survey to describe a recent purchase. They were
4:41
Speaker 1: asked to write about something that they'd spent money on
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Speaker 1: in the last three months, ranging from about sixty bucks
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Speaker 1: all the way up to twelve hundred dollars excluding everyday
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Speaker 1: expenses like bills and groceries. After describing it, people were
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Speaker 1: asked to indicate the extent to which the purchase actually
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Speaker 1: helped fulfill a different goal for them. They also noted
5:01
Speaker 1: how much they felt that the purchase had contributed to
5:03
Speaker 1: their happiness and their life satisfaction. Okay, we're not asking
5:06
Speaker 1: questions like this previously. I think this is so good.
5:09
Speaker 1: But the research found beck the more a purchase actually
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Speaker 1: reflected someone's intrinsic goals, so an intrinsic goal is something
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Speaker 1: that motivates you internally rather than externally, the more they
5:22
Speaker 1: thought it improved their personal well being. In other words,
5:25
Speaker 1: the greatest well being occurred when people spent money on
5:28
Speaker 1: something that was personally important to them.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, because I was going to say, actually, one of
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Speaker 4: my expensive purchases, and I probably couldn't have afforded this,
5:34
Speaker 4: It wasn't in my budget. But I did my Fitbit
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Speaker 4: and that really helps me. That's my own person.
5:39
Speaker 1: But like you thought about it, that goes back to
5:41
Speaker 1: you know, I'm always like put twenty four hours between
5:43
Speaker 1: you and your spending, and like, obviously we're going to
5:46
Speaker 1: talk about some bougier purchases later, because I think we
5:48
Speaker 1: need to normalize like celebrating other people like Beck. I
5:51
Speaker 1: know you said you bought your fitbit, and some people
5:53
Speaker 1: will be like, oh, I definitely couldn't afford it. But
5:56
Speaker 1: I don't think we need to compare ourselves to Beck's
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Speaker 1: bigger purchase and go so well, so annoying she could
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Speaker 1: afford it. Like when one of us rises Beck, we
6:05
Speaker 1: all rise. Yes, Like if you can see another woman
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Speaker 1: doing something cool, be like wow, they must be just
6:08
Speaker 1: at a different part of their journey than me, Like wow,
6:11
Speaker 1: they're getting it. They are absolutely slaying it. How good
6:13
Speaker 1: is it that they bought something in line with their values?
6:15
Speaker 1: Hope I can do the same thing one time. I
6:17
Speaker 1: completely agree with you, But I just think we need
6:19
Speaker 1: to change our mindsets because so often you might see
6:22
Speaker 1: someone you know buying house or doing these big things
6:25
Speaker 1: and you just go, oh, I'm so jealous. We don't
6:27
Speaker 1: need to be jealous. See it as permission that you
6:30
Speaker 1: can do it too.
6:31
Speaker 4: I completely agree, And like, this is the thing that
6:33
Speaker 4: money is actually like so much more emotional than we
6:35
Speaker 4: really realize. But we did an episode in April about
6:38
Speaker 4: comparison culture and talked all about our psychology as social creatures,
6:42
Speaker 4: and we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, and money
6:45
Speaker 4: in the amount of material goods we have is one
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Speaker 4: of the main ways we do it when it comes.
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Speaker 1: And right, feel like so many times we're like, oh
6:52
Speaker 1: but she earns more. Oh be they earn more, Ah,
6:55
Speaker 1: but I earn less than them, And it's just toxic.
6:58
Speaker 1: You're being toxic.
6:59
Speaker 4: But when it comes to like our goals, how do
7:01
Speaker 4: we shape these all?
7:02
Speaker 1: Right, So when it comes to your goals, first things first,
7:05
Speaker 1: I find it fascinating that we have so many different
7:08
Speaker 1: goals and everyone's on such different pages. And I mean
7:11
Speaker 1: that's I think why I love our dynamic, Like we
7:14
Speaker 1: have such a juxtaposition of who we are and what
7:16
Speaker 1: we're doing and what life stage we're in. Like, you know,
7:19
Speaker 1: I'm a new mum and you are back and you're vibing,
7:22
Speaker 1: and if I ask you what your favorite thing in
7:24
Speaker 1: the world is I can almost guarantee you, like, do
7:26
Speaker 1: you know I really loved on Saturday when I laid
7:28
Speaker 1: in the grass. We're just so different and it's my
7:31
Speaker 1: favorite thing ever. But according to self determination theory, goals
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Speaker 1: reflect our intrinsic and our extrinsic motivation. So I touched
7:40
Speaker 1: on this a little bit earlier. But extrinsic goals are
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Speaker 1: things that other people expect from us, For example, working
7:46
Speaker 1: hard at your job, not because you're passionate about the work,
7:48
Speaker 1: but because you need the money or you want a
7:50
Speaker 1: high status job to impress other people. It's kind of like,
7:54
Speaker 1: I see extrinsic as things on the outside, and they're
7:57
Speaker 1: usually the shiny indicators of wealth. Yeah, they're things that
8:01
Speaker 1: you know, you see someone driving past in a ferrari
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Speaker 1: and they're like, I'm a big dog. Like anytime you
8:06
Speaker 1: see someone drive past in a ferrari and their windows
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Speaker 1: are down and their music is playing, like they need
8:10
Speaker 1: you to notice them. They need you, like you need
8:13
Speaker 1: to stroke their little egos because they can't survive without that.
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Speaker 1: That's them searching for extrinsic validation, whereas an intrinsic goal,
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Speaker 1: on the other hand Beck, they're the ones that we
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Speaker 1: have strong internal motivations to pursue. So they're the things
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Speaker 1: that just make us feel good. We don't care what
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Speaker 1: other people think of them. We don't necessarily care how
8:34
Speaker 1: you know they're perceived. You might do them in private,
8:37
Speaker 1: you might go sit in the grass on your own, Beck.
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Speaker 1: It's not something that you have to post on Instagram
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Speaker 1: to get validation from. It's actually really important to also
8:44
Speaker 1: understand yourself because neither of those things are bad. So
8:48
Speaker 1: as much as I gave the Ferrari driver as an
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Speaker 1: example for an extrinsic goal, that's just so that you
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Speaker 1: can remember the difference. But I can be extrinsically motivated
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Speaker 1: as well. Like I knew I really wanted to buy
9:00
Speaker 1: my first house. I just thought that's a really solid
9:03
Speaker 1: indicator that I am successful, like to me, to my peers,
9:08
Speaker 1: to you know, our community, like I'm doing what I
9:10
Speaker 1: said I was going to do. And we need to
9:12
Speaker 1: understand about ourselves whether you're intrinsically or extrinsically motivate. You
9:16
Speaker 1: can be both, Like you don't have to have one
9:18
Speaker 1: or the other, but we need to understand the difference.
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Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean that you should feel guilty if
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Speaker 1: you want to spend money on something that's important to you, right,
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Speaker 1: So like it's not you know, the ego stroking of
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Speaker 1: having a Ferrari. I think it's really important to understand
9:32
Speaker 1: that if that's what's important to you, get it, queen, Like,
9:36
Speaker 1: go and get it and look after yourself. I think
9:39
Speaker 1: guilt starts to creep in and you really feel you
9:41
Speaker 1: shouldn't be spending money on something or spending money on
9:44
Speaker 1: yourself at all, and that guilt actually really feeds into
9:47
Speaker 1: scarcity mindset instead of really promoting an abundance mindset, which
9:51
Speaker 1: is where we want to all be, Like why do
9:53
Speaker 1: we feel guilty? We always feel guilty, right, and we
9:56
Speaker 1: talk about it on the pod all the time, back
9:58
Speaker 1: our money story that we have inherited or we've developed
10:02
Speaker 1: over time. But when you feel guilt, it's when our
10:05
Speaker 1: actions create a discrepancy with our story or our money story,
10:09
Speaker 1: and this can actually trigger the emotion of guilt because
10:12
Speaker 1: they're not lining up, which is why many people interpret
10:15
Speaker 1: it as an indicator of like doing the wrong thing. Beck,
10:18
Speaker 1: Let's use you as a really good example. Like, scarcity
10:21
Speaker 1: was definitely a mindset that you grew up with like
10:23
Speaker 1: you just didn't have enough, Like at the end of
10:25
Speaker 1: the day, it was challenging. Your world was filled with love,
10:29
Speaker 1: that's great, but also when it came to money and spending,
10:32
Speaker 1: it was always something that you were like, we have
10:34
Speaker 1: to be so careful with this. We might not have
10:36
Speaker 1: enough until the end of the week, we might not
10:38
Speaker 1: have enough until the end of the month. If you
10:41
Speaker 1: haven't dealt with that, going and buying your fitbit could
10:44
Speaker 1: have made you feel so guilty because you're like, oh
10:46
Speaker 1: my god, that's like a nearly three hundred dollars purchase,
10:48
Speaker 1: or so I shouldn't be doing this, like because what
10:52
Speaker 1: if I don't have enough money left? But in reality,
10:55
Speaker 1: your circumstances are so different to what you've grown up with,
10:58
Speaker 1: and if we haven't addressed that difference between where your
11:01
Speaker 1: money story was developed and what your reality is today,
11:04
Speaker 1: you're going to hold on to those scarcity mindset tools
11:08
Speaker 1: that didn't provide you any value in the first place,
11:11
Speaker 1: but also stop you from thriving into the future. You
11:15
Speaker 1: love your feitbit like you're obsessed with it. I am,
11:18
Speaker 1: and I would say that that's a great purchase for you,
11:21
Speaker 1: But if you hadn't come to the realization that no,
11:23
Speaker 1: that's okay, I'm different now I've changed. These are my
11:27
Speaker 1: money values, and this is aligned to what I want
11:29
Speaker 1: to achieve. That's a fine purchase, but it could have
11:33
Speaker 1: sent you into a bit of a spiral of thing like,
11:34
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I can't believe I did this, Like
11:36
Speaker 1: my mom never could have done this, Like I shouldn't
11:38
Speaker 1: do it. Then, like you just get into a different
11:41
Speaker 1: mind frame and that can be really toxic.
11:44
Speaker 4: That's so true. Actually I did have a little spiral.
11:46
Speaker 4: So I'm glad that you're saying. That makes me feel
11:48
Speaker 4: a lot better. But now let's go to a really
11:50
Speaker 4: quick break so we can get to the bit we've
11:51
Speaker 4: all been waiting for. So we did put a call
11:53
Speaker 4: out to our beautiful community to hear about all the
11:56
Speaker 4: things that have brought you happiness. And you've spent some big.
12:00
Speaker 1: We know what you spend your purchases. Well, so don't
12:02
Speaker 1: go anywhere, guys.
12:08
Speaker 4: Welcome back, guys. We're talking about spending our money on
12:10
Speaker 4: things that bring us joy. On today's show, So, V
12:13
Speaker 4: what's an expensive purchase that has brought you joy?
12:16
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I didn't know this was going to be
12:18
Speaker 1: like the tables have turned and it will come back
12:21
Speaker 1: on me. I feel like I have bought a few
12:23
Speaker 1: things that bring me joy. In saying that, I often
12:27
Speaker 1: feel like when I talk about expensive things, I have
12:29
Speaker 1: to like foreshadow it with like I am in a
12:32
Speaker 1: privileged position. I this that the other to justify my purchase,
12:36
Speaker 1: and that's actually a toxic trait of mine because I
12:39
Speaker 1: shouldn't have to justify my purchases back, Like, at the
12:42
Speaker 1: end of the day, I am a woman who did
12:46
Speaker 1: not come from wealth, who has created her own wealth,
12:49
Speaker 1: who works incredibly hard to make the money that I make,
12:53
Speaker 1: and I make some really bloody good financial decisions around
12:57
Speaker 1: you know, my entire life. But I would say one
13:00
Speaker 1: of my biggest purchases was a watch, and it was
13:03
Speaker 1: a bit of a designer watch and it costs a
13:05
Speaker 1: lot of money, and every time I look at it,
13:07
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, you did, Like you deserve that, Like
13:10
Speaker 1: it's one of those things that you know, people have
13:13
Speaker 1: conventioned on my Instagram. They're like, oh, where's your watch
13:15
Speaker 1: from because they might see the band or something, and
13:17
Speaker 1: I just don't reply because I feel so awkward about it.
13:19
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day. We shouldn't be
13:22
Speaker 1: down playing our successes or the things that spark joy.
13:25
Speaker 1: We should be celebrating them. Because Beck, if I said,
13:28
Speaker 1: do you want to buy a watch to the same amount,
13:30
Speaker 1: you'd be like, no, what a waste, that's ugly watch.
13:32
Speaker 1: And that's cool because we're all different, right right, Beck,
13:36
Speaker 1: what's your big purchase?
13:37
Speaker 4: Okay, So, as I mentioned before, my fitbit, but I
13:39
Speaker 4: would like even go lower. And I'm gonna say that honestly,
13:45
Speaker 4: just buying myself a coffee every single day that.
13:48
Speaker 1: Does treat yourself.
13:50
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I can't always afford it. There have been
13:53
Speaker 4: times where I've been actually downstairs at the coffee shop
13:55
Speaker 4: and I've seen a colleague. I've ordered my coffee and
13:58
Speaker 4: then been like, hey, can I borrow your card? I
14:01
Speaker 4: will pay you when my pay comes in tonight. And
14:04
Speaker 4: if you're listening to this, you know who you are.
14:06
Speaker 4: I've done to them a few times. So that for me,
14:09
Speaker 4: certain parts of the month, certain parts of the year,
14:12
Speaker 4: that is such an expensive purchase, but it brings me
14:15
Speaker 4: so much joy. I don't need it, but it's like
14:17
Speaker 4: such a wholesome thing.
14:18
Speaker 1: Before we move on, I actually have another question, which
14:21
Speaker 1: is a complete segue. I know you talk so openly
14:24
Speaker 1: about being like v I'm so bad at money, and
14:27
Speaker 1: I want to sit you down and shake you sometimes
14:28
Speaker 1: because I know what your income is and I know
14:30
Speaker 1: that you could afford that if you had budgeted better.
14:33
Speaker 1: Like I'm always like Beck, I know where you sit
14:36
Speaker 1: with this, I know what you get paid, and this
14:38
Speaker 1: should not be your reality. But you're Likeolve, I'm just
14:42
Speaker 1: living my best life and you know what, I'm not
14:43
Speaker 1: going to interrupt that there. But when it comes to
14:47
Speaker 1: other people spending money, so we're going to talk about
14:49
Speaker 1: some pretty big numbers like six figure plus that people
14:53
Speaker 1: are spending on things that spark joy for them as
14:56
Speaker 1: somebody who right now could not make that purchase. How
15:00
Speaker 1: do you feel when someone goes, I spent one hundred
15:02
Speaker 1: thousand dollars on my wedding.
15:04
Speaker 4: It doesn't shake me. I kind of think because my
15:07
Speaker 4: values are different. I'm like, oh, if I had that
15:09
Speaker 4: kind of money, I would not be spending it on
15:10
Speaker 4: a wedding or if I was getting married. If that's
15:12
Speaker 4: something that happened down the track, I probably try to
15:14
Speaker 4: spend as much like it just feels like these big
15:18
Speaker 4: purchases because sometimes it's not my personal goal. I'm like, oh,
15:23
Speaker 4: I'm happy for you, but I don't see myself doing that.
15:27
Speaker 4: But I'm always happy for them. I don't ever feel like, oh,
15:30
Speaker 4: that's so unfair. Yeah, totally. And I think maybe I
15:33
Speaker 4: used to be like that, but now I'm in a
15:34
Speaker 4: place where I like, you're exactly right. Like if I
15:36
Speaker 4: had probably budgeted better, I wouldn't be so broke all
15:40
Speaker 4: the time. And so that's on me, and it's the
15:42
Speaker 4: way I want to live, and that's it. But so
15:44
Speaker 4: I never feel bad about it or jealous.
15:46
Speaker 1: What if it's something that is in line with your values.
15:49
Speaker 1: What if it's like a big purchase that you've always
15:51
Speaker 1: wanted to purchase. What if it was like a close
15:54
Speaker 1: friend purchasing something that you're a bit envy yourself. How
15:57
Speaker 1: does that change the sitch?
15:58
Speaker 4: I think sometimes I get a little pang in my
16:00
Speaker 4: belly where I'm like, I probably could be where you
16:05
Speaker 4: are if I had done x YZ. But then again,
16:09
Speaker 4: if I had done X y Z, I would have
16:12
Speaker 4: sacrificed the things that made me very happy in that moment,
16:16
Speaker 4: you know what.
16:16
Speaker 1: I feel like, that's a good conversation to have and
16:18
Speaker 1: it kind of prefaces it. I agree in a way
16:21
Speaker 1: that you know, a lot of people can't preface it right,
16:25
Speaker 1: Like I can't be like, oh, you shouldn't be envious,
16:27
Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, a lot of
16:29
Speaker 1: people will be like the that's because you can't afford
16:31
Speaker 1: a coffee at all, and like, again, checking my privilege.
16:34
Speaker 1: That is a privilege, but also I have worked my
16:37
Speaker 1: butt off to be in the situation that I'm in.
16:40
Speaker 1: That does not mean, though that people who have lower
16:43
Speaker 1: incomes aren't working just as hard as me. Like sometimes
16:46
Speaker 1: you have so many things that just push you back,
16:48
Speaker 1: and getting ahead feels absolutely relentless, Like it feels like
16:53
Speaker 1: you just can't get ahead no matter how many times
16:56
Speaker 1: you put forward. I think that that's another, you know,
16:58
Speaker 1: check of privilege. The amount of time people are like, yeah,
17:01
Speaker 1: but I work eighty hours a week. I'm like, have
17:02
Speaker 1: you met a single mother? Like that's not equating for me.
17:07
Speaker 1: But I think it's a good like check in before
17:09
Speaker 1: we jump into it.
17:10
Speaker 4: That's a really really good point because there probably are
17:12
Speaker 4: people listening out there that are like, hey, I work
17:13
Speaker 4: hard to I'm you all work hard, absolutelysolutely, But I
17:17
Speaker 4: don't know speaking of money and purchases and things like that.
17:21
Speaker 4: It's time for the bit we've all been waiting for.
17:23
Speaker 4: And we did ask the community about Speno purchases. Some
17:26
Speaker 4: of these might be unrelatable, some of these might be relatable.
17:28
Speaker 1: That's okay, we're just talking about that totally.
17:30
Speaker 4: And they've genuinely bought you joy so v what did
17:33
Speaker 4: they have to say?
17:34
Speaker 1: All right? So if this brings anything up in you
17:36
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, I'm so envos, let's reframe it too.
17:40
Speaker 1: I'm so proud that somebody else has achieved that because
17:43
Speaker 1: they're paving the way for me to also be able
17:45
Speaker 1: to do the same thing. And women are cool. So
17:48
Speaker 1: first things first Lydia sched she said, I spent and
17:50
Speaker 1: I don't feel bad about this at all, one hundred
17:52
Speaker 1: and forty thousand dollars on my dream wedding.
17:54
Speaker 4: Fair enough.
17:55
Speaker 1: I love that go off. That's so much money, that's
17:58
Speaker 1: a lot of my event.
17:59
Speaker 4: Good for you, Lyddy, and I get it that the
18:01
Speaker 4: day was just as perfect as you imagined.
18:03
Speaker 1: I'm assuming that it was because she said it was
18:05
Speaker 1: her dream wedding.
18:06
Speaker 4: That's so true.
18:06
Speaker 1: I love it, all right. So there were lots of
18:09
Speaker 1: comments on this thread. I'm not going to read all
18:10
Speaker 1: of your names, but this, Beck is something that I
18:12
Speaker 1: relate to. Lots of people said, I spent one thousand
18:16
Speaker 1: dollars on a VIP ticket to Taylor's with.
18:19
Speaker 4: I don't blame you, guys. Honestly, it's an experience I know, and.
18:23
Speaker 1: I loved it every second of it. I have absolutely
18:25
Speaker 1: no regrets. But I also go, you're right, that is
18:28
Speaker 1: a lot of privilege. But also, Beck, would you ever
18:31
Speaker 1: spend one thousand dollars on a ticket to a concert?
18:34
Speaker 4: I can't see it. Maybe Missy Higgins secret fan.
18:37
Speaker 1: I love Missy Higgins. Oh she's so good. All right,
18:42
Speaker 1: so Monica, She said, I bought a really expensive car,
18:45
Speaker 1: and I regret nothing. It's not so good, Like I
18:50
Speaker 1: feel like sometimes people buy expensive cars and then they
18:53
Speaker 1: have massive regrets. They're like, I wish I didn't do this.
18:55
Speaker 1: I hadn't really done my maths. But if you've done
18:57
Speaker 1: your maths, or you've saved up for it, or have
18:59
Speaker 1: you worked out how it fits into your value system
19:01
Speaker 1: and your budget, like get it, queen totally. In fact,
19:04
Speaker 1: side note, Beck, my friend actually recently was talking to
19:08
Speaker 1: me about budgeting because I feel like that's all we
19:10
Speaker 1: talk about when we go out for breakfast. And she
19:12
Speaker 1: was like, I'm about to buy Alexis. And I remember
19:14
Speaker 1: being like, are you sure, Because, like any purchase that
19:16
Speaker 1: my friends are going to make, it's a bit bigger.
19:18
Speaker 1: I'm always like, do you really want to think about
19:19
Speaker 1: that first? And she was like, you're going to be
19:21
Speaker 1: very impressed with this. It's actually about the same price
19:24
Speaker 1: as a brand new Toyota. Like it's not as ridiculous
19:28
Speaker 1: as you're thinking it is, Like it's far more affordable
19:31
Speaker 1: than you think it's going to be. And honestly, I
19:33
Speaker 1: was about to be like baby making a grave mistake,
19:36
Speaker 1: and then she showed me and I was like, that's
19:37
Speaker 1: actually slave.
19:38
Speaker 5: Yes.
19:39
Speaker 4: I was going to say, actually, I probably don't look
19:41
Speaker 4: like the type, but it is on my bucket list
19:42
Speaker 4: to buy a luxury car.
19:43
Speaker 1: So you want a fancy boy car, do you?
19:45
Speaker 4: I just want to, like, you know, just.
19:46
Speaker 1: Try to get around in Alexis. I can connect you
19:49
Speaker 1: with my friend, she can show you hers, and you
19:51
Speaker 1: can like formulate a plan.
19:53
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just want to sit in it.
19:55
Speaker 1: Yeah all right, Well maybe we'll call her and we'll
19:57
Speaker 1: both sit Yeah, okay, all right, said I spend thousands
20:01
Speaker 1: of dollars on indigenous art.
20:03
Speaker 2: Yeah.
20:03
Speaker 4: Nice, I can imagine that in very very very Dreyful's
20:06
Speaker 4: fucking joy too. Yes, and that's something that brightens up
20:08
Speaker 4: the environment. I love art. I think that I've always
20:11
Speaker 4: backed expensive bits of art adore.
20:14
Speaker 1: Lots of people said this, and I'm not going to
20:15
Speaker 1: name names because there were so many of you that
20:18
Speaker 1: said I actually always spend my money on travel and
20:21
Speaker 1: all business class flights, and I was like, I totally
20:24
Speaker 1: get it. After my team and I went last year
20:27
Speaker 1: back to the US and we got to fly business
20:30
Speaker 1: class because we like points hacked our way there, I
20:32
Speaker 1: was like, this is why people fly business class. I
20:34
Speaker 1: get it. My entire travel experience has been ruined. Was
20:38
Speaker 1: very very sad.
20:39
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, you can never go back. Yeah you
20:42
Speaker 4: have to.
20:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, so painful. All right, Sarah said, I
20:47
Speaker 1: spent more than ten thousand dollars on my braces.
20:49
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I can back that.
20:50
Speaker 1: I know Jess Goarrici, who's also on the show on Fridays.
20:54
Speaker 1: You guys know her. She's just finished her in VISALIGNE journey,
20:57
Speaker 1: and I know she doesn't regret one cent of that.
20:59
Speaker 1: She's just like, my teeth are sleigh. H It brings
21:02
Speaker 1: so much confidence. And if that's something that you want
21:05
Speaker 1: more confidence in, get it, Queen, go for it. Next
21:08
Speaker 1: one is Kate Beck and she said, I spend seven
21:12
Speaker 1: hundred and twenty nine dollars on MFK perfume.
21:16
Speaker 4: I hope it's the biggest bottle to ever exist.
21:18
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that's like a two hundred meal bottle
21:20
Speaker 1: of perfume. And it's probably very telling that I know
21:23
Speaker 1: exactly what she's talking about. So MFK is Mason Francis Kurdisjean,
21:28
Speaker 1: and it is a very boogie brand you can buy
21:30
Speaker 1: at Mecca. In fact, my favorite perfume is from Mason
21:34
Speaker 1: Francis Kurdishan and it is the Rose one, which I
21:38
Speaker 1: get lots of compliments on. But holy Moley, don't listen
21:42
Speaker 1: to this part if you're working for Mecca. One of
21:44
Speaker 1: my friends works there and got me a discount, So sligh,
21:46
Speaker 1: but that's expensive, but I get it. It's so beautiful.
21:51
Speaker 1: So expensive though, Beck.
21:52
Speaker 4: Yeah, have you worn it in the studio before? Because
21:54
Speaker 4: I don't know that I've smelt it.
21:56
Speaker 1: Also, she's never even noticed I'm so sorry. Actually, Beck,
22:00
Speaker 1: I wear it every day.
22:01
Speaker 4: Oh really, you do not wear eight hundred dollars perfume
22:05
Speaker 4: every day? See I do.
22:08
Speaker 1: Straight under the bus. You know what I'm just gonna do. Beck,
22:11
Speaker 1: I decided I'm just gonna trot on down to chemist
22:14
Speaker 1: sweare house. I'm going to pick up I don't know, Sarah,
22:16
Speaker 1: Jessica Parker, whatever is on sale, Britney Spears hat, like
22:21
Speaker 1: anything that's on sale. I'm gonna throw my MFK in
22:24
Speaker 1: the bin because other people have appreciated it. If Beck doesn't,
22:28
Speaker 1: I'm out.
22:28
Speaker 4: I wear a Larbo every day. I want you you wear.
22:30
Speaker 1: A lab hold on. This is a pot calling the
22:33
Speaker 1: kettle black.
22:34
Speaker 4: It was a gift I want to send.
22:37
Speaker 1: Was a gift for those playing along at home who
22:39
Speaker 1: have no idea what perfume costs.
22:41
Speaker 4: What's the Larbo costs? I do want to say was
22:45
Speaker 4: a present. It was like three hundred bucks.
22:46
Speaker 1: So but I didn't three hundred dollars bottle of perfume.
22:49
Speaker 1: And you're telling me.
22:51
Speaker 4: Anyway, we will move on for the last year, We're
22:52
Speaker 4: gonna fight off air.
22:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, off air. And also I feel like we've aired
22:56
Speaker 1: some dirty laundry on air that's kind of unrelatable, Like true, Yeah,
23:01
Speaker 1: as I said, I did get a discount on this
23:03
Speaker 1: perfume and would never have purchased at full price because
23:06
Speaker 1: it just pains me. But Beck, lots of people had
23:09
Speaker 1: lots of things. There were lots of comments along the
23:11
Speaker 1: same lines as yours. Lots of people like I will
23:13
Speaker 1: spend literally one hundred dollars a week on coffee and
23:15
Speaker 1: I don't care. And I just think there's something so liberating, Beck,
23:20
Speaker 1: when you're aware of your spending. So we're not saying
23:23
Speaker 1: don't spend. We're saying, spend on the things that spark joy.
23:26
Speaker 1: Spend on the things that bring you genuine happiness into
23:30
Speaker 1: your life. Because if you need to have that coffee
23:32
Speaker 1: every day, back get a queen. I mean, if you're broke,
23:36
Speaker 1: we should be talking about budgeting, yes, because ultimately, I
23:40
Speaker 1: want everyone to have a really solid cash flow plan.
23:42
Speaker 1: I want everyone to know what's coming into their bank
23:44
Speaker 1: accounts and what's going out of their bank accounts. And
23:46
Speaker 1: I want all of you to one day be in
23:48
Speaker 1: the position where you have an emergency fund so you
23:50
Speaker 1: can get out of any situation. You don't need to
23:53
Speaker 1: rely on anybody else financially right, That is my wish
23:56
Speaker 1: for everybody in the community. However, I also think we
23:59
Speaker 1: need to overlay the fact that life is short and
24:02
Speaker 1: old age is a privilege that is denied to many,
24:05
Speaker 1: and we should be enjoying the journey as well as
24:07
Speaker 1: the destination. Like I don't know, beautifully you want, you
24:10
Speaker 1: want your coffee, babe, You're gonna get your coffee. Also,
24:13
Speaker 1: if you can't afford your coffee, can you just ask
24:14
Speaker 1: me or buy it, because I don't want you to
24:16
Speaker 1: have to owe people.
24:16
Speaker 4: Stuff qv you're gonna regret that though.
24:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know I am already buy a coffee most days, guys.
24:24
Speaker 1: Side note from all of this, what is expensive is
24:27
Speaker 1: going to be really relative to everybody. And there were
24:30
Speaker 1: things on that list of I guess spending that were
24:33
Speaker 1: really practical, so one person said they had that laser
24:36
Speaker 1: eye surgery. But there were also some things that some
24:38
Speaker 1: people would really consider as being frivolous, Like some people said,
24:42
Speaker 1: I don't regret my Schnell double flat handbag, or I
24:44
Speaker 1: don't regret buying some Gucci slides, and I totally get it.
24:48
Speaker 1: It's very different, Like everybody has their values, but Ultimately,
24:52
Speaker 1: it's up to you, and you need to decide what
24:55
Speaker 1: is expensive to you and more importantly, what expenses you
24:59
Speaker 1: feel like action really worth it. And once you've done that,
25:02
Speaker 1: then you can begin to work past the mindset that
25:05
Speaker 1: you're not allowed to treat yourself like. I think we
25:07
Speaker 1: need to just understand that for one person, expensive might
25:11
Speaker 1: mean ten dollars, and for another person it might mean
25:14
Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars, but that doesn't mean that one's worse
25:17
Speaker 1: or better, or different or less like. We just need
25:19
Speaker 1: to understand our own values back and stick to them
25:23
Speaker 1: and not compare them to somebody else's. Because if one
25:26
Speaker 1: of your friends is buying a ten thousand dollar handbag,
25:28
Speaker 1: that does not mean you need to buy a ten
25:30
Speaker 1: thousand dollar handbag. It means you go great, I'm so
25:33
Speaker 1: glad that they've budgeted and saved and worked out how
25:36
Speaker 1: to purchase something that's so in line with their values.
25:38
Speaker 4: Yeap, completely great. We love that for them, Yeah, we
25:41
Speaker 4: do love that for them. Be any final thoughts on
25:44
Speaker 4: how we can better manage our mindset around money and
25:47
Speaker 4: in motion in general.
25:48
Speaker 1: I feel like, first things first, comparison is a thief
25:50
Speaker 1: of joy and we should not be comparing ourselves to others.
25:53
Speaker 1: I get it. We're still going to do it like
25:55
Speaker 1: everybody does it. We just need to be way more
25:57
Speaker 1: in check with it and what it means. I've said
26:00
Speaker 1: this before and I'll say it again. Put twenty four
26:01
Speaker 1: hours between you and your spending. Don't make impulse purchases.
26:05
Speaker 1: I promise it will be available tomorrow. And if there's
26:08
Speaker 1: a sale and you're so worried about running out, let's
26:13
Speaker 1: have a think about why you wouldn't purchase at full price.
26:15
Speaker 4: Oof, that's a great question.
26:18
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you purchase at full price? Where's this sense
26:20
Speaker 1: of urgency coming from? Because you're going to save fifty bucks? Like,
26:23
Speaker 1: don't get me wrong, saving fifty dollars on an item
26:25
Speaker 1: that you were already going to buy money win, yes,
26:28
Speaker 1: but like, why is the call to action that you
26:30
Speaker 1: want that item now?
26:30
Speaker 4: It's quote cheaper, mind blowing thee.
26:33
Speaker 1: Why you want it? Next is set a budget so
26:36
Speaker 1: that you know you're covering the fundamentals and allow yourself
26:39
Speaker 1: to treat money in that or preferably set savings aside
26:43
Speaker 1: for bigger purchases. So this is something that I'm going
26:46
Speaker 1: to sit down with you Beck and be like, all right, well,
26:48
Speaker 1: you can have a Fitbit. That's fine. I know you
26:49
Speaker 1: went out and purchased it, but it can't come at
26:51
Speaker 1: the cost of your financial wellbeing. Can't come at the
26:54
Speaker 1: cost of you putting yourself behind. So let's just make
26:57
Speaker 1: sure that we are planning things because I I'm not
27:00
Speaker 1: saying not now, but it might mean not right now.
27:03
Speaker 1: Can we buy it in another week? Can we buy
27:05
Speaker 1: it next pay cycle so that we are not behind?
27:08
Speaker 1: Like definitely about this treat yourself culture, because I think
27:11
Speaker 1: we all deserve a little treaty treat I'm the queen
27:13
Speaker 1: at that, but I want to make sure that you
27:16
Speaker 1: are firstly looked after future you is looked after, because
27:20
Speaker 1: that's the person that matters the most. I promise an
27:23
Speaker 1: impulse purchase is not going to make you happy long term.
27:26
Speaker 4: It's just not completely aggrievy.
27:28
Speaker 1: Like no one's gonna put on my grave had a
27:29
Speaker 1: really great designer bad collection. They're not. And that's really
27:33
Speaker 1: disappointing because it's probably what's worth the most, you.
27:36
Speaker 4: Know, sure, and that's something you want people to know about.
27:39
Speaker 4: I'll put it on there for you, V I think
27:41
Speaker 4: it's a really good place to leave it.
27:42
Speaker 5: Let's go get a little coffee.
27:43
Speaker 4: Let's treat ourselves a little bit.
27:44
Speaker 3: I love it.
27:45
Speaker 1: Let's go ask my friend if we can sit in
27:46
Speaker 1: our car.
27:47
Speaker 4: Perfect.
27:47
Speaker 1: Let's go see you next time, guys. Bye? Did buy
27:56
Speaker 1: shared on cheese?
27:57
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