Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Saying No Without Guilt: Healthy Boundaries for Women with Maureen Considine

Transcript

Saying No Without Guilt: Healthy Boundaries for Women with Maureen Considine · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:00
  Those are things that I learned from the beginning, but I also
• 0:03
  had some experiences where something would show up like I'm
• 0:08
  going to just the furnace would. Well, that was probably true.
• 0:12
  So where I lived at the time, like something happened with the
• 0:14
  furnace. So we I would easily just be
• 0:17
  like, OK, I have to take care of this furnace thing until I
• 0:20
  realized I can't do that because my business isn't going to work
• 0:23
  if I approach it that way. And that means that, you know,
• 0:26
  my health isn't going to work if I approach it that way.
• 0:29
  So I had to that person boundaries come in.
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  It's like, yes, here's this thing, right?
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  The furnace has to get taken care of, but it doesn't have to
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  get taken care of in this moment, right?
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  I have. The thing and I can get to the,
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  but we're very quick to drop something, something else pulls
• 0:46
  up. So I started to learn that if I
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  keep doing that, then my results are going to suffer.
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  They're not going to do what I want them to be.
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  So I actually learned that. All right, so here's how I have
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  to approach that. And then memories come in.
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  That's why a routine is so important.
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  Like if we don't really pay attention to that, we just kind
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  of jump in and get going. Hello and welcome to The Field
• 1:09
  Podcast. Today I've got a new friend here
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  with me. She and I connected via e-mail
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  via our contact form, which I love when people reach out and
• 1:19
  see our work and want to talk to us more about about being a part
• 1:23
  of it. And that's exactly what Marine
• 1:25
  Consodine did. And we were able to get together
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  on a Google Meet and get to know each other a little more.
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  And she's going to have so much to share with you and resources,
• 1:36
  and we're going to get to know her today.
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  We're going to go through these talking points and introduce you
• 1:41
  to her. And so you can really see how
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  she shows up in the world today so aligned with her and her
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  story. So Marine describes herself as
• 1:51
  courageous, adventurous, fun driven kind of service.
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  And I threw in persistent because we had some technical
• 2:02
  challenges today and she was a stick with it and we figured it
• 2:06
  out and she just stayed with it. And I love that because that's
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  it's that scene with a consistent, courageous,
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  adventurous spirit that allows us to move needles for ourselves
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  and for women. And so that was actually,
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  ironically, a great lead into today's conversation.
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  And Marine, welcome to the Field podcast.
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  Thank you so much, Melissa. It's great to be here and thank
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  you for that introduction. Absolutely.
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  All right, let's get right into it.
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  Talk to me about prioritizing self-care in your life and what
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  your story has been with that. That's it's an interesting
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  question. You know, I for my own self and
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  I actually work with clients about the same thing.
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  So I kind of went through this process of, you know,
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  prioritizing myself, but we don't really learn to prioritize
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  ourselves, right? We kind of learn to prioritize
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  everyone else. And then if we have a hot minute
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  for ourselves, it's quite unusual.
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  So it wasn't something that I grew up with.
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  It was probably something I had to do later.
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  So how do I do it now? It's, you know, now it's about
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  having a routine. It's really about having as much
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  of A routine as I can, knowing exactly what it is that that
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  self-care for me looks like. And then like prioritizing it
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  because I've learned that if I don't do it, that I don't feel
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  that good for the day. My energy is not that great.
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  My results are not the same. I'll just get through things
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  much better if I do them. Yeah.
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  Yeah, I like that. And you know that being
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  organized with the being kids, having a routine, because having
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  a routine, it's so funny. We think about having routines
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  and our workspaces and with, you know, responsibilities we have
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  and we don't often connect it to us.
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  And we need that routine to take care of us first so that we can
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  show up well in all those other spaces in those routines.
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  So I'm glad you put it that way. That's so helpful.
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  When did you did you have time in the epiphany moment where you
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  realize that was necessary? I think I just realized that,
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  like I said, I felt better, you know, did I have an epiphany
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  moment? I, you know what?
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  Nothing is really coming to mind about this great thing.
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  I think what happened was it started to become this term that
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  everyone was using, right? So I started to pay attention
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  to, OK, what does that mean? Right.
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  It wasn't something like I said, I grew up with, you know, like
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  we didn't grow up with going to the salon to get a massage.
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  I was a lot older when I went from my first massage, and I
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  didn't really grow up going to the, you know, salon to get my
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  nails done. Now, my mother did,
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  interestingly enough, but she was very fun about like every
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  Friday she would do this. She'd get her hair done and her
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  nails done. It sounds silly, however, like
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  her friends were there and she knew this.
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  Person. And they were.
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  It was like home. And so it was more about like a
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  meeting spot for her. We were all at school and she
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  could do this thing on Fridays. And then, you know, her hair and
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  nails look good for the weekend. And but it wasn't anything that
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  we did as kids or that she said, oh, you know, you should do this
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  when you get older. It was just kind of profane.
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  And then it just kind of came to light around.
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  People are talking about it, pay attention to it.
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  And there is this like, you have to take care of yourself.
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  So one of the things is in, you know, maybe this is the epiphany
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  you're asking me about is I had mentors tell me myself saying,
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  if you want to grow your business, you're going to have
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  to grow as a person, like, right.
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  So it took me a while to figure that out.
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  And part of that is knowing, right, how to take care of
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  yourself because if you don't, if the business isn't going to
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  work, which I didn't realize at all, not in the beginning.
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  So kind of have to pay attention to that, kind of get asked about
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  it. And then it's like I said, it's
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  something that people are talking about.
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  So that was probably my epiphany moment of, well, if that's the
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  case, if I need that in order to grow the business, then I got to
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  pay attention to that. Yeah, yeah.
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  And it's, I'm so glad you said that because I think so many
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  times we don't necessarily as we're planning out make that
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  connection, but when you stop and sit with it, it makes sense.
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  It's like, well, yeah, if I'm going to have the energy to
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  sustain, if I'm going to have the open clarity to have to have
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  the ideas come to mind of how to do this.
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  If I'm going to be able to put my full, authentic, healthiest
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  version of myself forward. It makes sense that I need to
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  make time to fill my cup and set time aside so I can have that
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  clarity and that freedom of thought to to make and and the
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  energy that I need to make this thing work.
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  But we don't know how ought to sometimes it takes that outside
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  person to point that out and you're like, oh, yeah, of course
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  that makes sense. But if you go back to we
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  weren't, we didn't give that messaging as little girls as you
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  know, this is something and I think it's so interesting you
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  saw your mom do this. You recognize all the pieces and
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  parts of it. It wasn't just the the getting
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  the nails and then the hair was kind of the bonus piece.
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  The real piece was the community and the friends and the time she
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  got with those people. So you observed that and were
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  able to make that connection. But I think in that generation,
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  you know, there wasn't that mindfulness even that they were
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  fully aware of other than it was something that they made time
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  for. But I don't think we fully have
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  understood till the last probably 5-10, fifteen years the
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  health benefits of that and how our mental, emotional, physical
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  health are all connected and feed into that.
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  I think you're probably right about that.
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  And, and like I said, I don't think self-care has been a term
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  that people talk about and use and follow for that long.
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  Yeah, Yeah. It really is a new thing.
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  And I think then it's that finding those things that work
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  for you that fill your cup and it's not just about a checklist
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  items. It's got to be it's really
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  tapping into those things that fill your soul.
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  And it doesn't have to be super time consuming, but it but being
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  intentional, I go back to the routine piece of having those
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  things in place in your calendar that you know are your non
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  negotiables each day to help you be the healthiest version of who
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  you are in all your spaces. Right, I would agree with you
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  like and then you know it has to trickle down into your calendar.
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  So first of all, like you said, we have to know what that is for
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  you and it doesn't have to be complicated.
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  It can be super simple, right? It could be a 10 minute walk
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  outside or you know, a 15 minute just going to sit with my
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  headphones and music on or something.
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  It doesn't have to be complicated.
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  It doesn't have to be a big thing.
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  But you're right. Like we have to know what it is
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  that works for us first. Yeah, absolutely.
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  You're right, absolutely. So going into completely setting
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  healthy boundaries, part of that is making the time for these
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  things, setting those healthy boundaries around your time
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  where you spend it, who you give it to.
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  Talk to me about how that is not only as you take care of
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  yourself, but as you grow your business and and show up in
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  other spaces. Well, it's a great question
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  because you know, boundaries are something that it's not just
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  about what we say no to, right? And it's not necessarily what we
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  get asked of us. It's really about what do we say
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  yes to. So when I made that, it was
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  like, OK, So what am I going to say yes to, right?
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  And then it's about self-care. So that means I have to say yes
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  to myself 1st instead of having a mile long To Do List or making
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  sure that I'm wherever someone else needs me to be or paying
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  attention to the business or clients.
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  It's first, or at least at some point there has to be, you know,
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  there's a time for me or there's also like a, it's a mindset
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  thing too, right? Yes, I have to go out your
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  calendar, but it also has to be a a mindset piece.
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  And it's about like making sure it's commitment.
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  So we're making sure that when we have something in our
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  calendar or in our mind that we want to do that, we keep that
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  commitment. And we don't go into feeling bad
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  about keeping that commitment or anything around that.
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  Like no guilt. We're not going to, you know,
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  something else isn't going to stop or we're going to be OK and
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  we're going to get to, you know, everything we need to get to.
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  And that's part of, you know, having the boundary around it is
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  something else is going to come up.
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  But this thing we've committed to is still as important as
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  whatever shows up. Yeah, absolutely, Absolutely.
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  Thank you so much for that. Such a good point.
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  Talk to me about taking care of your emotional, mental,
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  physical, spiritual health and how that plays a role in all of
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  this. Well, that's interesting.
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  So for me it just makes it even better, right?
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  Like so when we narrow it down to the physical, right?
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  So that's movement, that's you know what we eat all that.
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  If we're looking at spiritual then too, that means like, OK,
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  so then I get to go, what does that even look like for me?
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  Because automatically we think of that's religion and do I need
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  to go to church? It isn't necessarily that.
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  It could be community, it could be something else.
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  It could be, you know, I need to read something that's to lift my
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  spirit today or, you know, how can I lift myself to be in a
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  better state or full of energy? And so that's some of the things
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  that I do is like having something to read that's
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  actually going to lift me into a space that actually feels good
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  or it's going to expand kind of my thinking.
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  So all those different parts that you were talking about of
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  ourselves that we need to pay attention to, to me actually
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  made it more fun. It was like, you can look at all
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  these different aspects, right? But then it's like, OK, so I get
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  to do different things for myself.
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  Yeah. And then you know what?
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  Like they show it to other people too.
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  Yes, yes, absolutely. When you have that experience
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  and that goes nicely into, you know, showing up for yourself
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  unapologetically and supporting other women in doing so.
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  When you we, we learn these things and we know they work.
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  It makes us excited. We want to share it with others.
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  So talk to me about that. As you have moved into this
• 12:45
  space, when was that moment that you realized because your work
• 12:49
  is really where this shines. Talk to me about when you
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  realize this is a space that you knew not only you knew how to
• 12:57
  help yourself, but you could help others as well.
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  Well, it kept showing up like it was just as I was kind of
• 13:05
  putting things together, my business.
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  This was, you know, foundational for my business.
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  It was something that I learned, but it was also some things that
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  just showed up for me. Because, you know, like when you
• 13:17
  have a business and I know you know this right time, it's going
• 13:20
  to take up all the time that it gets a lot of joke that is.
• 13:23
  So if you don't have some other things to it, you're going to
• 13:26
  easily be doing work 90% of your time and you don't really even
• 13:30
  realize. So those were things that I
• 13:33
  learned from the beginning, but I also had some experiences
• 13:37
  where something would show up like I'm going to just the
• 13:42
  furnace would. Well, that was probably true.
• 13:44
  So where I lived at the time, like something happened with the
• 13:46
  furnace. So we, I would easily just be
• 13:50
  like, OK, I have to take care of this furnace thing until I
• 13:52
  realized I can't do that because my business isn't going to work
• 13:55
  if I approach it that way. And that means that, you know,
• 13:58
  my health isn't going to work if I approach it that way.
• 14:01
  So I have to that person foundries come in.
• 14:04
  It's like, yes, here's this thing, right?
• 14:07
  The furnace has to get taken care of, but it doesn't have to
• 14:10
  get taken care of in this moment, right?
• 14:13
  I have the thing and I can get to the, but we're very quick to
• 14:16
  drop something, something else pulls up.
• 14:19
  So I started to learn that if I keep doing that, then my results
• 14:23
  are going to suffer. They're not going to be what I
• 14:24
  want them to be. So I actually learned that.
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  All right, so here's how I have to approach that.
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  And then that's the boundaries come in.
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  That's why a routine is so important and we don't really
• 14:36
  pay attention to that. We just kind of jump in and get.
• 14:39
  Going, yeah, I love how you made the connections between all
• 14:43
  those things because they all feed off of each other.
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  And that's such an important piece to recognize.
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  And at the end of the day, those will become part of how you care
• 14:52
  for yourself. Because all of these spaces, if
• 14:54
  any one of them gets neglected or not tended to, has an impact
• 14:58
  on how you feel, your stress levels, the way you're showing
• 15:01
  up for yourself, the way you're able to show up for others.
• 15:04
  So all these connect points in place give our listeners some
• 15:08
  background on the work you do today and and how you decided to
• 15:13
  go this route. Oh, that's interesting.
• 15:16
  I, I mean, I started it a long time ago.
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  Ultimately the story is that I had this part time job at the
• 15:24
  time. It was like a little, it was
• 15:27
  actually quite interesting, but it was a tended to kind of
• 15:31
  thing. It was exactly what I wanted.
• 15:32
  I could be home when I needed to be home, but it wasn't really
• 15:36
  like earth shattering. It was just fine.
• 15:38
  Then one day I got a call from one of the partners and said the
• 15:42
  job was eliminated, which was fine because it like I said, it
• 15:45
  wasn't that amazing, right? It wasn't like I was going to do
• 15:48
  that forever. However, it still kind of hit me
• 15:51
  of oh, like that, didn't you know, still didn't feel very
• 15:55
  good. So at the time I really went to
• 15:57
  pay attention to, OK, so if I wanted to do something, what
• 16:01
  would it be? And I wanted it to be something
• 16:03
  for myself. I didn't want to go out and have
• 16:05
  another job. And the part of that is because
• 16:08
  I wanted to be able to put people first.
• 16:10
  I want to be in the spot where I can put people 1st and not
• 16:13
  necessarily revenue or the job or the company first.
• 16:17
  I wanted to be able to. And so I learned something from
• 16:20
  that job, which was great. And then I just, you know, I
• 16:23
  started to look around at what is it I want to do?
• 16:28
  What have I been doing, what my experience being, what could I
• 16:31
  kind of gather up that I could, you know, do more of?
• 16:35
  And it turned out that I had been coaching people in all
• 16:40
  different industries, in all different things, all different
• 16:44
  ages. They've been doing it forever in
• 16:47
  my career, was doing it for someone else.
• 16:49
  And then I, I've been doing sales and marketing at the as
• 16:52
  well for years. So that was what made me start
• 16:57
  to do that. And then I went to school to get
• 16:59
  certified as a business health and life coach.
• 17:03
  And that's really how it started.
• 17:06
  And then I, you know, just have been learning and have a mentor
• 17:09
  since that. But that's really how it started
• 17:11
  of, OK, I want to have something for myself.
• 17:14
  And so how do we prove what that is, right?
• 17:17
  And I went and looked at, OK, what have I been doing for most,
• 17:21
  you know, my career so far? And it was sales and marketing
• 17:24
  and consulting and coaching different types of people and
• 17:28
  different kinds of businesses. Yeah, yeah, I love that you were
• 17:32
  able to take that culmination of experiences.
• 17:34
  And I think this goes really nicely into, you know, how your
• 17:39
  why and your values and made an impact on the decisions you
• 17:43
  made. You talked about you wanted it
• 17:45
  to be people first. You didn't want to have to worry
• 17:48
  about the other, you know, things that can get in the way
• 17:50
  of that happening. So it it feels like that, you
• 17:54
  know, that was a core part of your why and and your values.
• 17:57
  So talk to me about how knowing that informed this.
• 18:01
  Well, I first started out as I would work with parents so that
• 18:05
  they could be better at their jobs, but also be so if I can
• 18:08
  make more money, organize a business, it didn't matter what
• 18:11
  it was. So they could be professionals,
• 18:13
  right? It didn't matter if they were
• 18:15
  executives, but also be good parents at the same time.
• 18:19
  And then the results started showing up in the business of
• 18:24
  revenue. But you know, they double,
• 18:25
  triple their revenue and people don't necessarily want to come
• 18:30
  out and say they're not good parents, right?
• 18:34
  And I didn't really want to have that conversation either.
• 18:38
  But the side was actually working really, really well.
• 18:42
  So the I shifted towards the business and the parenting kind
• 18:47
  of came with it. And so I still do that today,
• 18:50
  but I also do a lot of the business things primarily that.
• 18:56
  And but that's how it, that's how it started.
• 18:59
  That's really how it started was I wanted to help, you know,
• 19:03
  professionals be better parents and then it shifted into the
• 19:07
  business side. Yeah, yeah.
• 19:09
  I love for that organically came to be because I think it's and
• 19:13
  you trusted that. I love when we are able to trust
• 19:16
  our intuition, let our why and our values really guide and not
• 19:21
  force things, not chase things. And I think that makes it even
• 19:25
  more fulfilling and also helps you like you're in alignment,
• 19:30
  you're, you're not out of alignment with who you are and
• 19:33
  how you're showing up in these spaces because you were able to
• 19:36
  do that. Well, thank you.
• 19:39
  Plus, you know, I don't always think we know we're approaching
• 19:42
  it. I don't think I knew I was
• 19:44
  approaching it from my why and values at the time.
• 19:47
  OK. I think it was like a strong
• 19:49
  desire to help these people. So that was probably the why a
• 19:52
  part of it. And there were some things
• 19:54
  about, like, I wanted to be in a position or I wanted to be
• 19:57
  creating something where it was people first or they were, you
• 20:02
  know, at least part of the conversation.
• 20:04
  Yeah. We don't really have to know the
• 20:08
  why first. Sometimes it kind of comes after
• 20:12
  and it shit it can grow too, which actually I like as well.
• 20:17
  But you're right about that. Like it does all fit together.
• 20:22
  Yeah. Yeah, and I love what you said
• 20:24
  about its shifts. And that's why I always tell
• 20:26
  them. And it's important to continue
• 20:28
  to pay attention. If you start being a little
• 20:30
  angsty when you look at your calendar and what's in it, it
• 20:33
  might be time to go revisit that, that why and those values
• 20:36
  to see if they're still in alignment or if something's
• 20:39
  changed. And it's OK if it has to pay
• 20:41
  attention to that. So you can still continue to
• 20:44
  honor that and make the adjustments you need along the
• 20:47
  way. And because different seasons
• 20:50
  will bring different things. You've talked to me.
• 20:51
  I mean, you've done different things in different seasons and
• 20:55
  you, you know, you've listened to that kind of organically.
• 20:57
  You know, sometimes things happen.
• 20:59
  I mean, I know what it about a year, a little over a year after
• 21:02
  I started this podcast, my job at a nonprofit went away.
• 21:06
  And at the time it was kind of like, Oh my gosh, what am I
• 21:08
  going to do? But it actually birthed the
• 21:11
  whole opportunity to grow this platform into, you know, what
• 21:16
  it's now becoming. So, you know, sometimes those
• 21:18
  things, you know, when you unexpectedly happen, open the
• 21:21
  door for for us to do what we're really intended to and what
• 21:26
  really feels aligned to us for. Sure.
• 21:29
  And we've learned that along the way.
• 21:31
  We don't necessarily come into it knowing what it is we're
• 21:35
  going to be doing or we start here and then it evolves along
• 21:38
  the way and new things come in, which is part of the beauty of
• 21:41
  it. Even when we're talking about
• 21:43
  why it values, right, Some of the values we just, or maybe
• 21:48
  they're there or we, you know, pick up a new one and be like,
• 21:50
  oh, this is something that I need to add.
• 21:54
  Yeah, yeah, as we continue to follow and listen and learn and
• 21:57
  tap into that. Absolutely.
• 21:59
  Yeah, I appreciate that so much. Thank you so much for that.
• 22:02
  Talk to me about living out of your own expectations versus
• 22:06
  others. This clearly seems to be a space
• 22:09
  you're in now that's talked about me, about your journey in
• 22:13
  it. Because so many times as women,
• 22:14
  we get these scripts of what life is supposed to look like
• 22:18
  for us. And along the way, we have to
• 22:20
  like, sometimes unpack that script and like, maybe this is
• 22:24
  not quite working for me. And how do I get it in alignment
• 22:28
  with living out of how I really want my life to look in me?
• 22:34
  Well, that's an interesting question and it could be a
• 22:37
  pretty involved answer, but I'll give you sort of the the crux of
• 22:42
  it, right? You've mentioned the word
• 22:43
  script. So I don't really know if
• 22:46
  everyone or for myself even know that there was a script.
• 22:50
  I think we were kind of, you know, raised for sure in this is
• 22:54
  kind of how we're supposed to do things.
• 22:56
  This is kind of the way it's supposed to go.
• 22:58
  And you know, the people before you and your family or in your
• 23:02
  community and authority figures have kind of done it this way.
• 23:05
  And this seems to be what works. Then all of a sudden you start
• 23:09
  to realize that this doesn't really sit well with me, right?
• 23:12
  Like there's nothing wrong with it.
• 23:14
  It just isn't actually feeling what my heart wants to be in a
• 23:19
  different space. And it's, you know, I'm a
• 23:22
  creative person as well as, you know, the business side.
• 23:26
  So we get stuck in this kind of work, work, work thing and it
• 23:30
  doesn't necessarily feed what we want it to be.
• 23:34
  It's evolving for us. So I had to 1st learn that there
• 23:38
  was a script. Yeah.
• 23:40
  Or that it was conditioning. Like we get kind of told over
• 23:44
  and over, this is how it's supposed to be.
• 23:46
  And then all of a sudden realized, wait a second, that
• 23:49
  doesn't feel good to me, right? I'm actually going off over here
• 23:54
  doing this thing and starting my own business, which not many
• 23:58
  people around me had done. So I didn't really have a, a
• 24:02
  path to follow or someone to, you know, emulate.
• 24:06
  And so I had to go find that, which I did.
• 24:08
  But I wasn't really, you know, following the path that was
• 24:12
  familiar, which was OK, but I had to learn that too.
• 24:15
  It's like it's OK to follow a path, but not everyone else is
• 24:18
  following. And that allows you to go, all
• 24:21
  right, So if it's like that, it's OK to do that.
• 24:25
  It'll look like that. Yeah.
• 24:28
  Yeah, well, and I left and then I feel like the, you know, your
• 24:32
  website work less, create more that automatically is out of
• 24:36
  your own expectations. That's automatically pushing
• 24:39
  against much of what we've learned, especially in a United
• 24:44
  States capitalistic society. So talk to me about deciding
• 24:48
  that that was going to be, you know what the title and and why
• 24:52
  that's so important to. You.
• 24:55
  Well, there's a couple things about it.
• 24:57
  Like one of the things that, well, there's so much about
• 25:01
  business that we've learned that isn't necessarily true, that if
• 25:03
  we want to grow a business, it's going to take hard work and long
• 25:06
  afters. And that might be true, but it
• 25:08
  doesn't have to be that way. And a lot of people, a lot of
• 25:11
  business people are struggling and it's because they don't
• 25:16
  really know what they need to be doing or how to do it right.
• 25:20
  And also because, you know, most businesses fail within the first
• 25:24
  year and then again, it's the fifth year and it doesn't have
• 25:27
  to be that way. So once I got to a point where I
• 25:30
  got passed or through some of the breakthroughs that I need to
• 25:32
  get to and the results started to happen for me, I was like,
• 25:35
  you know what, this 6% of businesses get to 6 figures.
• 25:40
  There's 35 million small businesses in the country and
• 25:45
  only 6% gets to six figures, even last get to 7.
• 25:48
  And it doesn't have to be that way.
• 25:50
  And that was really part of the impetus for it.
• 25:52
  So I was actually having the results with businesses for
• 25:56
  quite a while and then started to notice that, oh, it's work
• 26:01
  less, like create more. And the idea is, yeah, it you
• 26:07
  could have freedom, it doesn't mean it has to take long hours.
• 26:10
  You don't have to struggle. All of that.
• 26:12
  Right. And also like creating more of
• 26:15
  what it is that you want. You could be highly successful
• 26:18
  in your career, right, and not be creating what it is you came
• 26:22
  here to create or what it is you want to be creating.
• 26:25
  And that was the part I wanted to get to.
• 26:26
  So keep the business, right, But let's look at something else you
• 26:30
  want to be doing. And it has actually created some
• 26:33
  really cool things about for myself, but also for the clients
• 26:37
  and the people that have actually shared that one.
• 26:39
  So that's where that came from was and create more can be more
• 26:43
  money. So it's about scaling the
• 26:44
  business, it's about leverage, it's about freedom, right?
• 26:47
  So it's creating more of what it is that you want money,
• 26:52
  relationships, health, freedom to do what you want.
• 26:56
  And that's where it really came from.
• 26:58
  And so once that showed up again and again, it was time for me to
• 27:02
  step into it more. Yeah, yeah, I love that because
• 27:07
  when you think about that, creating peace is really can be
• 27:10
  a part of what fills our buckets and fills our cups to give us
• 27:14
  the energy to continue to proceed forward.
• 27:17
  And when you can switch that gear and see it that way.
• 27:20
  Where the work? Feels more intentional because
• 27:23
  you're taking time to create the life you actually want and and
• 27:28
  the reward it that that is for you.
• 27:32
  Exactly, exactly. So it, you know, creating the
• 27:35
  lives that you want, but you have to trickle that down into
• 27:38
  what does that look like? And you were talking about that
• 27:40
  before when you're saying you know so much about the part of
• 27:43
  yourself that's a hell, that's a physical, but it is.
• 27:45
  And that's a spiritual and all that too.
• 27:47
  But then it also comes into, OK, but what about for other people?
• 27:51
  What about contribution? What about for impact?
• 27:53
  What about just for creativity? If I were to stop aside from the
• 27:57
  business for a second, what's all I want to be creating?
• 27:59
  That can be art, that can be music, that can be a whole other
• 28:02
  business, that can be a whole other division to something.
• 28:05
  I want to hire more people. I want to sell the business.
• 28:09
  It can actually just be something that they want that
• 28:12
  they really don't have any idea that that's where they wanted to
• 28:16
  be going. Wow, thank you so much for that.
• 28:19
  And and you're able to, and I think it's important too, you're
• 28:21
  able to guide them to that because you first learned it for
• 28:24
  yourself first. Yeah.
• 28:27
  Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
• 28:30
  That's such an important piece. All right.
• 28:32
  Talk to me about accepting the layered aspects of ourselves.
• 28:36
  And that's all the pieces and parts of our lives, our stories
• 28:40
  that that encompass who we are. Some things we love, some things
• 28:45
  we don't. We're many times we will stuff
• 28:48
  the things or try to push the things aside.
• 28:50
  We don't want to feel, we don't want to experience.
• 28:52
  We wish we hadn't done the shame around that, but at some point,
• 28:56
  those things aren't meant to be stuffed and they can can come,
• 29:00
  they can overflow in not such a great way.
• 29:03
  And so at some point, I feel like we all have to kind of go
• 29:06
  on this layers journey of learning to accept where we are.
• 29:10
  And you don't have to love all the parts of our lives, but
• 29:13
  acknowledge those. See you, for example, when you
• 29:15
  were, you know, when they let you know this, this job you were
• 29:19
  doing from 1:50 is no longer gone.
• 29:21
  You didn't have to love that, but you needed to get to a point
• 29:23
  of acceptance. And how am I going to move
• 29:25
  forward from here? So talk to me about how your
• 29:28
  layers journey has impacted you and where you were today.
• 29:35
  Well, I think that some of it, we've already talked about how
• 29:38
  it and they all come together, right and they all affect the
• 29:41
  business, they all affect the relationships.
• 29:44
  I also think it it was partially learning to recognize that what
• 29:49
  happens isn't necessarily bad. So if something we don't like
• 29:53
  happens isn't necessarily bad. And for me that was.
• 29:57
  And I think for other people, it would be helpful to realize like
• 30:00
  there's a good part in everything.
• 30:05
  Like how can we see the light of something that doesn't
• 30:07
  necessarily seem like positive in the moment?
• 30:10
  And that has made a huge difference, right?
• 30:13
  Like there's, you know, if we look around what's happening in
• 30:18
  society or the world, right, it's easy or sometimes it can be
• 30:23
  easy to see this doom and gloom kind of thing.
• 30:27
  I don't live there anymore. I just want to be like, there's
• 30:30
  a positive side to even the things that we don't like,
• 30:34
  right? And these layers of ourselves,
• 30:36
  it's an interesting view when you look at it that way, these
• 30:39
  layers of ourselves, right? Because it's, it's accurate, but
• 30:44
  it's also, you know, dimensional.
• 30:45
  It's also taking a look at different parts of ourselves and
• 30:48
  saying it's not about they're bad or good or right or wrong.
• 30:51
  It's just they're there. And it's actually more
• 30:56
  empowering because at certain times you can pull into or pull
• 31:00
  from some display, so you can pull it from something else.
• 31:03
  But it's more empowering than anything else.
• 31:06
  Yeah, yeah, I love that. Look at that, that empowering
• 31:09
  piece and realize all those places you can tap into and how
• 31:14
  they can serve you and show up in different ways when you have
• 31:17
  that expansive view and more of a new.
• 31:19
  I love how you take the good, bad, right, wrong off of it.
• 31:22
  Removing that kind of moralistic umbrella that we put over it and
• 31:26
  just being able to look at it at face value and, and recognizing
• 31:30
  and knowledge it, see what we've learned, see what we know and be
• 31:34
  able to move forward with that and tap into those things when
• 31:36
  when we need to call upon them, right?
• 31:39
  I also think it allowed me to come from, come to things from a
• 31:43
  different place. Once you took out the like the
• 31:46
  negativity part because that's where, you know, bad feelings
• 31:49
  come from, like guilt or eviction.
• 31:50
  So once I took that out, it actually allowed me to come from
• 31:54
  a different place, a more kind and loving and compassionate
• 31:57
  place than anything else. Yeah, yeah.
• 32:01
  That piece is key. When we can, we can show that to
• 32:04
  ourselves. It then enables us to also so
• 32:07
  show it to others. Exactly.
• 32:10
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 32:11
  And that leads nicely into in living out, feel, finding
• 32:15
  empowerment, embracing layers, which is what your story is
• 32:18
  really an example of. Talk to me about how that has
• 32:22
  impacted your relationship with yourself as well as your
• 32:25
  relationship with other people. The layers aspect.
• 32:32
  Well, yeah. And the well in living out,
• 32:35
  yeah, the finding empowerment embracing layers.
• 32:37
  So feel is our acronym and it stands for finding empowerment
• 32:40
  embracing layers. And so in doing that you found,
• 32:44
  you mentioned already the empowering part that that has
• 32:46
  given you and in the in the great kind of the kindness
• 32:52
  you've been able to show yourself through that.
• 32:54
  So, you know, just you expand on that a little bit more about how
• 32:58
  that's, you know, impacted your relationship with yourself and
• 33:01
  then in turn your relationship with other people.
• 33:04
  Well, if you're. You know, it's gonna sound a
• 33:06
  little hokey, but if you're taking good care of yourself,
• 33:09
  then you actually have more to take care of someone else with,
• 33:15
  right? If you have that commitment for
• 33:17
  yourself, which we aren't taught, we have to learn that.
• 33:20
  And it's one of those things where you go, wait, I mean, I
• 33:22
  can be committed to myself. Absolutely.
• 33:24
  And you need to be, right? So it's a little one of those
• 33:27
  things we have to learn. But when you are committed to
• 33:30
  yourself, you could be more committed to someone else or
• 33:34
  even to a thing, right? You're more committed to the
• 33:37
  business, you're more committed to a project you're working on
• 33:41
  or the employees you have. And so your relationships then I
• 33:45
  think are better because you come from a different place.
• 33:47
  That's what I found. And then like I can give more
• 33:50
  attention to other people and the relationships, I value them
• 33:54
  more too, right? I'm just.
• 33:56
  Gonna value them more, yeah. And then, you know, one of the
• 33:59
  things too I, I was thinking about is, and I said this
• 34:04
  before, if we want to grow our business, we have to grow
• 34:06
  ourselves. But our relationships are really
• 34:08
  those places where we're meant to grow and there are
• 34:11
  opportunities for us to give more than to get.
• 34:15
  And that's really what has shifted in how you and I
• 34:19
  approach some things like what you're talking about is layers
• 34:23
  and empowerment and for sure all those things because as I grow,
• 34:29
  I want to extend that out to someone else.
• 34:34
  Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Absolutely.
• 34:36
  So good. Thank you so much for that.
• 34:38
  All right, as we wind down here, talk to me about 5 activities
• 34:44
  that nourish you. I love that question.
• 34:48
  Walking outside in nature. Music, dance, art, good food.
• 34:57
  Yeah, that's 5. Yes.
• 34:59
  Oh, I'd love that. All right, in five words on how
• 35:02
  you want to feel the next six months.
• 35:05
  How about to feel OK, confidence, more confidence,
• 35:14
  faith and fulfillment. So that's where I'm at.
• 35:18
  Like I in contribution and impact, as I want to feel
• 35:21
  fulfillment, expansion and courage just go into that
• 35:26
  expansion. Oh, that's so good.
• 35:28
  Yeah. The expansion is great, but you
• 35:30
  have the courage to step into it.
• 35:32
  That's so good. Oh, my goodness.
• 35:33
  All right, Marine, tell people where they can find you, follow
• 35:37
  you, work with you. This will all be on our website
• 35:39
  at embracinglayers.com on our resources page, But share with
• 35:43
  listeners right now where that is.
• 35:46
  OK, great. Thank you so much for that.
• 35:47
  You can find me on my website, rightworkletscreatemore.com.
• 35:51
  You can find me on Instagram, Maureen slash 84 on Instagram,
• 35:58
  you can find me on LinkedIn, and you can find me also on
• 36:02
  Facebook, and you can reach out to me on any of those platforms.
• 36:07
  If you want to have a conversation around what it
• 36:10
  looks like to work with us or just to have a conversation of
• 36:13
  ground clarity around what's coming next for someone, we're
• 36:17
  happy to do that. OK, great.
• 36:19
  Great, great. Any last thoughts you'd like to
• 36:21
  leave with our listeners today? I would say like have the
• 36:31
  courage to go after what it is that you want, even if it seems
• 36:37
  a little scary when you're first taking that step.
• 36:39
  And if you need someone to guide you, then great, but just go
• 36:46
  take that first step into something you really want.
• 36:49
  I love that. Oh, that's such a great thought
• 36:51
  to leave all you with today that are listening.
• 36:54
  Take that this week. Go forward with that.
• 36:57
  That is that's the way I really want to see you all engage with
• 37:00
  this. Marie, thank you so much for
• 37:02
  your time today. I appreciate your staying with
• 37:05
  me as we worked out the technology issues so we can get
• 37:08
  on and have this great conversation and, and, and for
• 37:13
  how you show up in the world and the resources you offer.
• 37:15
  So important. Thank you so much.
• 37:19
  I appreciate the conversation too.
• 37:21
  And the stick with it is from you as well.
• 37:23
  So thank you very much. It was really great to have this
• 37:26
  conversation with you. Yeah.
• 37:29
  Thanks a lot. You bet, you bet.
• 37:31
  All right, listeners, take good care of yourselves this week.
• 37:34
  Be courageous. Go, go.
• 37:36
  Take that first step in that thing that's been tank, you
• 37:40
  know, yanking at your heart. Honor that.
• 37:43
  And, and we've got resources here to support you in that.
• 37:46
  Thanks so much for being with us.
• 37:47
  We'll see you next time here on the Field podcast.
• 37:51
  Hello and thank you so much for being with us today on this
• 37:55
  episode of the Field podcast. If you would like more
• 37:59
  information on how you can apply these talking points that I
• 38:04
  share with our guests in each episode to your own life, really
• 38:08
  utilize this feel framework, go to embracinglayers.com, fill out
• 38:14
  our contact form, and let's set up a free 30 minute consultation
• 38:19
  to talk about how you can start living your most authentic,
• 38:24
  organic, healthy, feel fueled life.
• 38:28
  Thanks again for being with us today.
• 38:29
  We'll be back to you soon with another episode here on the Feel
• 38:33
  Podcast.