Latest / MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt / The Scale Hasn't Moved in 8 Months and I've Never Felt Better — Why I Stopped Chasing a Number
Transcript
- Brynne Erickson (00:29) So you now know that I don't do New Year's resolutions like I talked about back in episode 38, but I am constantly working on something. I always have tons of to-do lists. I have lots of goals that I am working on. So I am constantly refining what I am doing. And it's been interesting this past, it's been what, eight months now? my, I started a goal to just move my body in whatever way sounded fun that day. And like the path of least resistance to get my body moving and to reach my 10,000 steps a day. So I guess that was more of my goal. Move, reach my 10,000 steps. And so it started off with just walking, loading up my kids in the double stroller. and walking each day. And then that led to some days doing a HIIT workout in addition to. And I have learned through trial and error that even on days where I feel like I can do more, if I do too much more, like I do a really intense HIIT workout, or I would lift for 30, 40 minutes after pushing and walking for 45 minutes. And this was in the beginning of my goal of starting this up again, moving again after I haven't been moving for quite a while. It just was draining. And then I would feel awful and energy depleted. And I've learned that through trial and error, right? So this time around, I was really paying attention to my body honoring how it felt. And if I felt like I could do little more, would truly just do a little more, like maybe a little ab routine or like I said, my little 20 minute hit that aren't crazy intense with my little program that I have. And that was really awesome. I started this back in April of 2025. So just simple, just something rather than nothing, right? And it has compounded and I've noticed I have lots of evidence that that always happens. that when I start doing something, just something small, then I want to just naturally start doing more at some point. It's fascinating. And I have done hard things. Like I ran a half marathon. ⁓ In six months, I lost like 30 pounds, but I was working out for like two hours a day and it was super fun. This was pre-kids. And I... have done things that I never thought I could complete and finish and yeah I did. So there are times where going all in on the big goal is totally doable. And I don't know when the stars align that you finally get to do that one all in hard thing. But I do know that if we never try, we'll never know what we could. have done. And I don't think, well, I think that when we don't complete something in the way that we hoped or that we thought, means that we failed. I've talked about this in a previous episode that failure doesn't have to be a negative thing. It doesn't have to mean anything about your worth or your ability. ⁓ But other than you just, you finished. You finished and it looked differently than you thought it would, or maybe it looked differently than the person who told you you should do this thing did it. But you did it in your own way, in your own timing. And just because you didn't finish it the certain way that you were supposed to, doesn't have to mean anything about you. You just finished it differently. And you started it, which is amazing. And then you can, you learn from it, you reflect on that. I reflect all the time. I reflect and then I refine. Refine meaning how do I tweak this? What am I gonna do differently? How could I make this more easy and more fun? How I simplify this? And that's what we do. But if we never do anything, we'll never see what we can become and what we can do. So I've been still working on my movement and just these past couple of weeks, I've felt like lifting weights again, lifting heavy and improving my relationship with sugar. If I have an addiction and I'm pretty sure that it's a mild addiction is to sugar. ⁓ every day, I'm basically thinking, what am I gonna have as my sugar today? Like it's a natural part of my diet and I don't want to completely get rid of it. I don't wanna abstain from it. I find a lot of joy and pleasure in eating treats. I love to bake. It's not something that I want to get rid of, but I also don't want to be obsessively thinking about it all the time. So I've decided that I want to improve my relationship with sugar. And that's the wording that I'm using. And it came to me from listening to a course, like a two-day workshop. ⁓ with a coach, Jody Moore, that I was listening to and it was about body love and it just got me thinking like, I really do want to have ⁓ this awesome, not an awesome body, my body already is awesome, but I just want to have an awesome relationship with food and with movement and with my body, the way I see myself, I wanna be strong, I wanna be energized and I just was thinking I'm. I'm done putting so much bandwidth into thinking about where my next sugar high is going to come from. And I've been working on that for the past week and a half and it's been really awesome. And just being observant and allowing myself to have some. But really just being in the moment. as I'm eating it and paying attention to how I feel, how it tastes, what's the texture, and being really present as I eat it. I'm trying to be more present as I eat all my food in general. I definitely in the past have been like shoveling one spoonful after the other. Let's get through this meal and move on to the next thing. And it's been fun to just be more present and pay attention to when I'm full, when I'm hungry, what is there more that I need of and I'm improving that relationship with my mind and my body as well. As I've experimented with intermittent fasting and such, I kind of had a backlash there where I would push too far with my fasting and then I would get over the hunger and then just not want to eat. But I knew that I needed to eat and then it became hard to eat. It's been kind of weird. lots of experimenting, lots of reflecting and then tweaking. which is my refinement process. So it's been fun. I'm pumped about improving this relationship with sugar and I've already just loved it so much and it's been super empowering. I'm loving lifting heavier weights again. I have been walking for eight months now and am feeling stronger. I've been rucking, so I carry a weighted backpack and that has made my core and my back. so much stronger, it's been awesome. And then when the weather is nice, I push my two kids. So between my stroller and my two kids, I'm pushing at least 100 pounds when I'm walking, and that's been great. But I am amazed at what just moving your body does. The scale hasn't even moved, but the way I feel, I feel stronger. I feel like I've... done something for myself that's important to me. And that changes my mood and my mindset and the way that I show up for my kids because I've taken the time to take care of me. And when we take care of ourselves, we can take care of other people better. And our bodies are vehicles that get us through this life, you know? So they need to be maintained and taken care of if we want them to run efficiently. And obviously things happen. We get sick, diseases, things come up, bodies change, and we can adapt, right? so those are some things that I've refined for January. Haven't started any new goals, but I'm always reflecting and thinking, how can I make this simplified and fun? And those... have really helped in my constantly just seeing who I can become and want and living the life that I want to live. So maybe that gives you some ideas on things that you've been working on that maybe you're feeling stuck in. I really encourage you to pray about it, journal about it, at least reflect about it, figure out what is your method of refinement, how Do you best connect with yourself and get in touch with your highest self? And what is meaningful to you? What do you want to spend your time and energy on? We can only do so much. And we have 24 hours in a day. What are you gonna spend it on? And... start creating that life that you truly want to live. I'm cheering you on. It's good work. You're awesome. Make it a good one.