Latest / Faithful Fitness With Coach Alex VanHouten / The Real Reason You’re Burned Out (And Why More Discipline Won’t Fix It)

Transcript

The Real Reason You’re Burned Out (And Why More Discipline Won’t Fix It) · Faithful Fitness With Coach Alex VanHouten

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  Speaker 1: Hey, faithful, welcome to the Faithful Fitness Podcast. In a moment,
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  Speaker 1: my dad, coach Alex van Houghton, will help you honor
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  Speaker 1: God by making the most out of the body God's
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  Speaker 1: given you. Today you can expect truth from the Bible,
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  Speaker 1: tools from science, and guidance for everyday life. So listen closing,
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  Speaker 1: get ready, let's get one percent better today.
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  Speaker 2: What's up, faithful coach Alex van Houghten, Here grace in
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  Speaker 2: peace to you. Thank you so much for your patience
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  Speaker 2: in waiting. On episode one of season two of The
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  Speaker 2: Faithful Fitness Podcast. As you can imagine, this episode is
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  Speaker 2: a little different. This conversation was recorded on the Semeir
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  Speaker 2: podcast outside the Faithful Fitness ecosystem, and that matters because
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  Speaker 2: the mission isn't just as sharpen the faithful, it's to
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  Speaker 2: reach beyond the walls. Jesus didn't stay in the synagogue.
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  Speaker 2: He went to the marketplace, the roads, and the tables
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  Speaker 2: of people who didn't yet understand the truth, but they
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  Speaker 2: needed it. And that's what this conversation and many more
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: like it in this season will be. We talked about stress, burnout,
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  Speaker 2: discipline and parenting and why most people aren't breaking because
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  Speaker 2: life is hard. They're breaking because they never recover. And
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  Speaker 2: underneath all of it is a deeper truth. God didn't
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  Speaker 2: design you to run without rest. Even in creation, he
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  Speaker 2: built the rhythm work, then Sabbath six days of labor,
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  Speaker 2: and then he stopped, not because he needed to, but
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  Speaker 2: because we would. So as you listen, I want you
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  Speaker 2: to wrestle with this question, where in my life am
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  Speaker 2: I refusing to rest and then calling it responsibility because
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  Speaker 2: that might be the very place that your health and
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  Speaker 2: your obedience are breaking down. And if those work is
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  Speaker 2: helping you think differently, live differently, and lead differently, I
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  Speaker 2: want to invite you deeper.
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  Speaker 3: Right now, in honor.
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  Speaker 2: Of the Faithful Fitness devotional launch, you can say fifty
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  Speaker 2: bucks on an annual premium membership to Faithful Fitness Premium.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: That's where we build this life together structure, coaching, community,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: and real accountability. You can find the link in the
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: show notes below. You don't have to do this alone.
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  Speaker 2: All right, Without further ado, here's my interview on the
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  Speaker 2: Semeir podcast. Thanks for tuning in. When we don't get
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  Speaker 2: a break from the stress, that's when it breaks down
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  Speaker 2: the stress of their life isn't what's getting them. God,
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  Speaker 2: it's the lack of a break from it. Regulating technology
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  Speaker 2: is a new problem. Twenty years ago it wouldn't have
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  Speaker 2: been an option. And you're an unhappy client, and I've
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  Speaker 2: got to deal with you. I won't see that till
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  Speaker 2: nine am tomorrow.
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  Speaker 4: So why do the smart people keep repeating behaviors? They
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  Speaker 4: know hard.
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  Speaker 2: Things, so whise people don't repeat the famous say. A
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  Speaker 2: wise person will look at the smallest thing they can
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  Speaker 2: do to keep them consistent. So breathwork. Breathwork is very powerful.
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  Speaker 2: Your nervousness compair sympathetic and sympathetic nervous system. You have
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  Speaker 2: control over your sympathetic nervous system in general. Fourteen year
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  Speaker 2: old her loves soccer deep in her heart. The biggest
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  Speaker 2: thing she wants to do is be able to play
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  Speaker 2: soccer with her dad. But her dad wasn't sleeping well,
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  Speaker 2: he hasn't been exercising. He's gained a whole bunch of
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  Speaker 2: belly fat around the midsection. He's just too tired. Moms
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  Speaker 2: get oxytocin from cuddles, Dads get oxytocin from play.
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  Speaker 4: Now let's talk about the stress, anxiety and the mental
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  Speaker 4: head the mid life stress is intense. Money courier gets
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  Speaker 4: aging parent. How does the chronic stress show up physically
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  Speaker 4: in the ways peoples don't connect to stress.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's a fair question. So what's cool. I'm
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  Speaker 2: going to talk about stress, but I want people to
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  Speaker 2: understand this. The human body was made to be very resilient.
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  Speaker 2: It's very resilient. Our bodies are extremely resilient. In fact,
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  Speaker 2: most of us are made of sterner stuff than we know.
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  Speaker 3: But when we don't get a break.
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  Speaker 2: From the stress, that's when it breaks down. So I
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  Speaker 2: can take an operator through something just unimaginably stressful for
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  Speaker 2: the general population, they will come through the other side
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  Speaker 2: in superhuman fashion. But if they don't recover, that amount
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  Speaker 2: of stress would tear them down till they died. The
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  Speaker 2: human mammal is just ridiculously resilient, and as long as
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  Speaker 2: we get to rest, then we can adapt to some
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  Speaker 2: ridiculously stressful situations. And that that's the real that's what's
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  Speaker 2: happening for many individuals. Their daily life is so stressful
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  Speaker 2: and they're never they're never resting, They're never they're never
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  Speaker 2: getting in that that cycle of stressful adaptation, rest and
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  Speaker 2: adapt stressful adaptation, rest and adapt They're in stressful adaptation
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  Speaker 2: all the time, and so instead of instead of adapting,
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  Speaker 2: they break down over time, their hormonal resilience decreases, their
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  Speaker 2: neurological resilience decreases, even their tissue integrity, like you can
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  Speaker 2: see bone density decrease over time as a result of
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  Speaker 2: chronically stressful situations. And so that's why people who do
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  Speaker 2: breath work, for instance, people who are learning how to
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  Speaker 2: breathe or take a cold shower. Right, this is revelating
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  Speaker 2: for some people because because it forces what's called parasympathetic activation.
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  Speaker 2: Parasympathetic activation, it's the part of the nervous system that
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  Speaker 2: does that rest and digest, that that recovery and adaption.
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  Speaker 2: You're you're forcing that when I take a cold shower,
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  Speaker 2: I'm forcing my parasympathetic nervous.
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  Speaker 3: System to activate.
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  Speaker 2: I actually could have gotten the same benefit from taking
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  Speaker 2: a nap. Okay, but I'm too stressed.
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  Speaker 3: I can't fall asleep, right, So.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, because in the stress that you won't sleep quick
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  Speaker 4: like quick, right, that's exactly you're constantly thinking about the stress.
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  Speaker 2: That's exactly right, that's exactly right. Excuse me why I
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  Speaker 2: plug my laptop in. But that's it's a very that's
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  Speaker 2: a very important caveat So so, for for many individuals,
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  Speaker 2: the stress of their life isn't what's getting them. It's
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  Speaker 2: the lack of a break from it. And it could
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  Speaker 2: be it could be very small. You know, your your
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  Speaker 2: five mile walk is a great example of a break
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  Speaker 2: from stress. For many people that I coach, exercise is
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  Speaker 2: the break from stress. I know that sounds weird because
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  Speaker 2: exercise is inherently stressful, but it's the space they've made
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  Speaker 2: in their day to get away from the things that
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  Speaker 2: are stressful and to process through those things right. And
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  Speaker 2: then the cool thing about exercise is it is it
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  Speaker 2: also forces that parasympathetic recovery. After I finish exercise, my
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  Speaker 2: body will enter a parasympathetic state, whether or not I've
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  Speaker 2: got a lot going on up here. So what I
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  Speaker 2: would say is the recovery from stress is the thing
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  Speaker 2: we're missing in our culture mainstream in general. And that's
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  Speaker 2: something that if you're going to be resilient and you're
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  Speaker 2: going to be an operator at a high level for
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  Speaker 2: a long time, you have to build that in.
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  Speaker 4: Don't you think nowadays the peoples are also doing a
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  Speaker 4: mistake that after having an exercise or after having a
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  Speaker 4: file my wall, immediately pick up the phone and start
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  Speaker 4: looking at the real and the strace is gonna going high. Right,
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  Speaker 4: So what the suggestions that you would like to give
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  Speaker 4: for that kind of a person.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, Regulating technology is a new problem. So we didn't
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  Speaker 2: have this twenty years ago. We didn't even ten years ago. Really,
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  Speaker 2: it wasn't It wasn't as popular as it is now
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  Speaker 2: to have my email and my social sphere and my
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  Speaker 2: phone calls and my texts and my apps I like,
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  Speaker 2: all in the same place immediately accessible.
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  Speaker 4: Got it?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, And so this is a new problem.
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  Speaker 2: It's a new problem that biologically we have not adapted to. Right.
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  Speaker 2: It's a new problem that even psychologically speaking, many of
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  Speaker 2: us haven't figured out for ourselves. And then from a
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  Speaker 2: cultural perspective, very few people are. We're talking about the problem,
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  Speaker 2: but we're not dealing with the solutions.
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  Speaker 3: Right. Here's a great example.
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  Speaker 2: We learned that our devices emit blue light that stimulate
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  Speaker 2: the paneal gland to not release melatonin, and people speak,
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  Speaker 2: it means when the sun goes down, my paneal gland says, oh,
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  Speaker 2: it's nighttime.
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  Speaker 3: I need to go to sleep.
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  Speaker 2: Got my screen on my phone where whatever my phone
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  Speaker 2: is at the moment, my screen of my phone's telling
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  Speaker 2: my eyes no, it's still daytime. It's still daytime, and
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  Speaker 2: so so, culturally speaking, what's the solution, Well, we actually
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  Speaker 2: have a I think it's it's multimillion dollar at this point.
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  Speaker 2: We have a multimillion dollar industry for glasses that have
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  Speaker 2: blue light filtering. Okay, Like we have a product that
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  Speaker 2: we get to put on our face so that we
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  Speaker 2: can keep scrolling around without the blue light. Never mind
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  Speaker 2: the fact that it's still stimulating and stressful to watch
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  Speaker 2: the news at ten pm, to answer a difficult email
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  Speaker 2: from a client at ten pm, Whereas twenty years ago
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  Speaker 2: it wouldn't have been an option if you sent me
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  Speaker 2: a message to my office and you're an unhappy client
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  Speaker 2: and I've got to deal with you. I won't see
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  Speaker 2: that till nine am tomorrow, except after I have fed
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  Speaker 2: my children, after I have gotten them to school, after
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  Speaker 2: I've kissed my wife, after I've you know, had.
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  Speaker 3: Breakfast, you know.
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  Speaker 2: But instead I'm dealing with that the night before in
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  Speaker 2: my bed.
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  Speaker 3: Like, oh, I can't go to sleep till I do.
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  Speaker 4: They're there right.
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  Speaker 2: And instead of saying, you know what we're going to
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  Speaker 2: do at seven pm, I've declared its family time. My
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  Speaker 2: phone's down. My boys know that they have my full
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  Speaker 2: attention in whatever we do. My wife knows that I'm
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  Speaker 2: not distracted. I'm going to help with dinner. I'm going
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  Speaker 2: to spend some time with her. If we decide to
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  Speaker 2: watch a show it's on a TV but very rarely
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  Speaker 2: do it, We're going to have a conversation and neither
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  Speaker 2: of us are going to touch our phones till tomorrow
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  Speaker 2: morning at six in the morning.
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  Speaker 3: Lowly, We've decided that in our household, that's what we do.
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  Speaker 2: And my clients know that if they bother me outside
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  Speaker 2: of business hours, good luck getting an answer from me.
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  Speaker 3: Super sorry.
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  Speaker 2: If you have an emergency, dial nine to one one.
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  Speaker 3: I will talk to you in the morning.
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  Speaker 2: And I'm not going to get blue light glasses so
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  Speaker 2: that my phone isn't talking to my eyes right now.
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  Speaker 3: I'm not saying this is the best solution.
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  Speaker 2: I know everybody has a different, different situation, but this
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  Speaker 2: is a new problem. It's a new problem to take
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  Speaker 2: our biological interface and deal with technology that can let
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  Speaker 2: the stress of our work life follow us around all
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  Speaker 2: the time, and we as individuals have to learn how
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  Speaker 2: to manage that well because that rest that I was
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  Speaker 2: talking about, the step away a nap or sleep or
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  Speaker 2: my walk, right, it's not a very RESTful walk if
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  Speaker 2: I'm applying the emails there, right, Yeah. So, and so
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  Speaker 2: this this stress, we can internalize that and let it
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  Speaker 2: follow us around in the form of technology, or we
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  Speaker 2: can put it on airplane mode and unplug and we
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  Speaker 2: have an opportunity to rest, not just physically but mentally. Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: You know that one research recently that the research has
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  Speaker 4: done in the Japan and the Japan in the railway
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  Speaker 4: stations they have kept the blue light, so that reduced
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  Speaker 4: the eighty four percent of suicide thinking.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and I mean at the end of the day,
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  Speaker 2: it's just sleeping better exactly, Like I know, I mean
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  Speaker 2: they make it sound so simple, but it's like, hey,
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  Speaker 2: you know what what sleep deprived people do. They get
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  Speaker 2: depressed and suicidal. That's actually we measure that from an
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  Speaker 2: operator perspective. That's one of the stressful things that you
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  Speaker 2: do to somebody and operator training is you sleep deprive
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  Speaker 2: them and see what happens when they crack, Right, And
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  Speaker 2: when individuals are used to blue light all the time
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  Speaker 2: and they're staying up till four in the morning playing
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  Speaker 2: video games, or they're scrolling on their phone before they
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  Speaker 2: go to sleep or whatever, and they're they're there and
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  Speaker 2: it's been three hours, right, then all of these things
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  Speaker 2: they actually do impact how we recover and they do
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  Speaker 2: have an effect on our mental health over time.
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  Speaker 4: Right. So for you that, how do you train that
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  Speaker 4: CIA officer about the mental stress? How do you train them?
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  Speaker 2: Well, remember, we have our we have training, and then
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  Speaker 2: we have the mission, and then we have the recovery thereafter.
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  Speaker 3: These are three different mindsets.
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  Speaker 2: Training is I'm doing things intentionally to myself to adapt
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  Speaker 2: so that I'm fit for the mission. That's a different mindset.
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  Speaker 2: I'm eating differently. It's actually very similar to any how
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  Speaker 2: an athlete trains. I'm eating differently, I'm exercising regularly. I'm
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  Speaker 2: getting enough rest right for the mission. And in that
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  Speaker 2: sense i'm getting enough rest is a part of that.
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  Speaker 2: If I don't rest, then my training will be overly stressful,
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  Speaker 2: and then I won't adapt, I won't be ready for
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  Speaker 2: the mission.
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  Speaker 3: The mission mindset.
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  Speaker 2: What's nice about operators is they oftentimes they become super
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  Speaker 2: tunnel focused at that capacity to lay in bed and
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  Speaker 2: scroll till three in the morning and not even realize
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  Speaker 2: what happened to your time.
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  Speaker 3: We have that capacity as human being.
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  Speaker 2: And in a mission mindset, when you know what the
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  Speaker 2: mission is, you can become hyper fixated on it. I'm
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  Speaker 2: gonna do this. I don't care what sleep I have
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  Speaker 2: to miss. I don't care if I ate or not.
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  Speaker 2: You know, if my body's working for me like I
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  Speaker 2: need to, I'm gonna be so focused on this that
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  Speaker 2: I lose track of time, all right, and so and
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  Speaker 2: so that's a different mindset. I'm on mission, Okay. Then
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  Speaker 2: thereafter I'm resting from I'm going to recover adequately from
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  Speaker 2: what I just did for the next mission, right and so,
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  Speaker 2: so these are three These are three different mindsets stays.
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  Speaker 2: It's training and preparing for the mission, executing the mission,
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  Speaker 2: and recovering from the mission. And what's nice about operators
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  Speaker 2: is they know what state they're in, right, they know
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  Speaker 2: what state they're in. For the general population, most most
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  Speaker 2: people don't. They're not a trained mind. They don't understand
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  Speaker 2: I'm training for something, I'm on mission. I'm recovering from
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  Speaker 2: mission like, they don't think that way. And so for
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  Speaker 2: most of those people, and I would say most of
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  Speaker 2: the general population is in that I'm on mission all
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  Speaker 2: the time. Their body will force them into recovery, like
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  Speaker 2: when you get sick or you know, for for some people,
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  Speaker 2: they would say, oh, the only time I have to
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  Speaker 2: myself is when my kids go to bed, and that's
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  Speaker 2: when I watch movies and.
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  Speaker 3: Stay up late and blah blah blah.
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  Speaker 2: So they think they're resting, they're not really resting. They're
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  Speaker 2: just you know, trying to enjoy something pleasurable and they're
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  Speaker 2: never training, right, So so for many people, an untrained
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  Speaker 2: mind is just I'm on mission. I've got this thing
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  Speaker 2: I've got to do. But there's other mental states that
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  Speaker 2: are necessary for an operator.
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  Speaker 4: But that is also possibly right after the training or
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  Speaker 4: after this post mission, there is also possibility that the
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  Speaker 4: officers or the operators maybe that get into the trauma,
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  Speaker 4: maybe they have the suicidal thoughts also.
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  Speaker 2: And that's that's part of the recovery from the mission,
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  Speaker 2: right because for operators, it's not just sleep. Like if
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  Speaker 2: if an operator has to deal with post traumatic stress
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  Speaker 2: disorder from from what just happened. There's there's, you know,
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  Speaker 2: a necessary window of time required for for the brain
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  Speaker 2: to process that, and there's also a necessary window of
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  Speaker 2: time where.
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  Speaker 3: Therapy is useful.
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  Speaker 2: Cognitive behavioral therapy or counseling is useful in ensuring that
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  Speaker 2: that doesn't become a regular health negative to the operator. Right,
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  Speaker 2: and so that's that's part of the rest and recovery
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  Speaker 2: of the mission mindsetly.
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  Speaker 4: Okay, so you talk about the shame and the habit loobes,
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: So why do the smart people keep repeating behaviors they know? How?
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  Speaker 3: Fair question?
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  Speaker 2: How about we say whyse because wisdom and intelligence are
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: not the same thing.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, So, so wise.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: People don't repeat the same mistakes because they notice the
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: small incremental changes require.
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  Speaker 3: To keep them from happening over again.
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  Speaker 2: Right, So smart people make mistakes because they come up
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  Speaker 2: with this grand plan and they try to do everything
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  Speaker 2: all at once, and that's not how the mind and
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: body work. I'll give you an example. Let's say you
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: and I are going to start weight training together. Okay, Samir,
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  Speaker 2: We're going to go do some deadlifts.
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  Speaker 4: Right.
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  Speaker 2: Deadlifts are a great exercise, but put the weight on
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  Speaker 2: the bar and you go to stand up and you
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  Speaker 2: use your keep your head.
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  Speaker 3: And chest up.
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  Speaker 2: Your core is really strong. You're going to engage your glutes,
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  Speaker 2: that's your butt muscles. You're going to get your hamstrings involved,
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  Speaker 2: and you're going to stand up and pick up heavyweight
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  Speaker 2: and then set it back down.
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  Speaker 3: That's a deadlift. And we're going to do some deadlifts today.
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  Speaker 2: So Samir, being a smart guy, says, Okay, I'm going
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  Speaker 2: to get good at deadlifts. It's gonna be great for fatherhood.
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  Speaker 2: I'm gonna have an awesome post her chain. I'm going
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: to put on some muscle. You know, maybe I'll run
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  Speaker 2: instead of walk five miles sometimes like deadlifts. So so
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  Speaker 2: Samir is going to start his deadlifting program and he says, Okay,
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  Speaker 2: I've got this grand plan for how I'm going to
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: get stronger and stronger and stronger. The problem is, Samir
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  Speaker 2: isn't deadlifting. So deadlifting is a new habit. It's a
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  Speaker 2: new thing. I've got to learn the movement, going to
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  Speaker 2: make the time and space for it. I've got to
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  Speaker 2: have the equipment for it. And I'm committed to this
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  Speaker 2: plan until something in my life happens that eats up
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  Speaker 2: my deadlift time, right, And that's what happens to smart people.
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  Speaker 2: They create a good plan. There's no flaw in their plan,
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  Speaker 2: except that they didn't identify the smallest thing they need
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  Speaker 2: to do right now to start building their plan into
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: their day, right. And where that's where we get ourselves
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: in trouble. We can be smart and develop a program,
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: but at the end of the day, we are a
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: creature of our habits, and we have to build those
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: habits over time or our best programs don't matter. Okay,
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: So for Samir, if Samir wants to be good at deadlifting,
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: this is kind of a silly example, but I want
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: you to understand where this comes in. If Samir bought
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: a kettlebell, which is I've got one right there.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: It's a forty pound kettlebell right there.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: If Samir buys a kettlebell and puts it next to
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: his podcast desk, says, all right, before I do a podcast,
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do three that's of ten deadlifts with
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: my kettlebell. So what does that take, I don't know,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: four minutes something like that. Then Samir is already podcasting,
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: but he has taken the habit of deadlifting and tied
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: it to something he's already doing, and now Samir has
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: a way of practicing his deadlifts that he'll be consistent with.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: It's a very small step, yeah, but it's there, and
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: after a while you're gonna be like, well, does is
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: feeling kind of light? I could do more of them?
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: After some time it feel like yeah, yeah.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: So I'm going to get a bigger kettlebell.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I like this so much, and I've been lifting lately,
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: you know, I've been doing you know, five minutes a
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: couple times a week. Maybe I'll get a bar bell,
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: or maybe I will I will go to the gym
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: before I podcast next time. And That's what I'm going
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: to do, because I notice, wow, I'm kind of lively
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: after I lift something like that. So what happens is
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: a wise person will look at the smallest thing they
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: can do to keep them consistent and build into an
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: ideal program over time, whereas intelligent people will will sit
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: back and make a perfect plan, but it's not a
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: part of.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: Their regular routine yet.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: And so the plan the way we work, we can't
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: execute a perfect plan right now. It has to be
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: just a part of the way we do things, and
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: that's how operators work too. If I'm training somebody, I
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: have to train each of these things into them so
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: that when we get to the mission, we can just
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: take it for granted that you have, Like running three
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: miles is not a problem because you've been doing that
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: for I don't know ten years, So it's.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: Just a part of it.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: You don't get to decide to run three miles in
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: the mission. You have to have the endurance prerequisite required
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: that was built into your life every day for a
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: period of time. And so in the same way, this
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: is why people repeat their mistakes. They come up with
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: a plan and they try to execute the plan, and
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: the plan is there's too much going on.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: You've got to build.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: You've got to build the small things into your life
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: on a daily basis that allow you to grow into
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: what it is that you would like.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, even the right now that Ronaldo, you know the
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: football at Ronaldo right, who is constantly training his ten
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: years old kid in the morning, they will woke up
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: around the fire or six o'clock go for the swimming
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: and a very chilled water is constantly training and it's
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: teaching about the consistency that how it matters in the
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: future right when I'm trying for my kid. Also, sometimes
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: you know that how the kid be here?
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: It's very yeah, yeah, how old is your kiddo?
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: That's a four years?
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: Four years perfect?
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Perfect, that's great, that's a great Do you have a
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: boy or a girl?
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: Girl?
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: A girl?
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, awesome, And that's wonderful time as a father because
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: like they're they're they have all their personality there exactly,
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: but you can also see that they don't have any
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: good habits. So you're you're trying to build into your
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: your household. What are some habits that I can build
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: into you that you get to just take for granted.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: And you're thinking through that as a father, how do
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I do that in a way that you can just
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: do this and it's good for you. Like brushing your teeth.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: We're going to brush every night because.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: Why why, I don't want to have cavities.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: And if you figure out how to brush your teeth
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: before or bed every night, you're set for like the
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: rest of your life, you know, because dental hygiene is
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: a big deal, right exactly. And similarly, when I train somebody,
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: I think of them as they've got a little four
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: year old inside. They haven't quite learned how to feed
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: and moved themselves well yet, And our goal is to
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: build those habits over time that allow them to take
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: those things for granted. Hey, I just eat healthy, That's
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: what I do. That's just part of how I do things. Oh,
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: I just exercise five days a week. That's just part
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: of how I do things. And then you could say,
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: what do I need to change about my food for
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: this particular season or what do I need to change
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: about my exercise to create these particular adaptations.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: That's a great question.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: Building the habit is where many people miss the boat.
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: I agree. Okay, So related to stress, what are the
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: symbols and science decked daily practices help calm your nervous
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: systems without alcohol or junk food.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, it's going to sound like for beating a
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: dead horse here, But the first is breathing.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Breath.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Breath works very powerful your your nervous system, parasympathetic and
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: sympathetic nervous system. You have control over your sympathetic nervous
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: system in general. Like if I want to take a
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: drink of water, I tell my body to reach and
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: grab this cup and I drink the water. That's my
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: sympathetic nervous system. My sympathetic nervous system is what I
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: use to respond to an email. Right, my parasympathetic nervous system,
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: I don't have a lot of control over it. Like
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: right now, I just had lunch. My body is telling
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: my lunch to move through my digestive track. I'm not
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: doing that paristulsis. You know, there's a part of my
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: body that's doing that. There's a part of my body
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: that's telling my heart to beat. I'm not doing that.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: It's just beating right now, Thank goodness. Right, But your
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: breath is one of the things that happens without you
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: thinking about it, but you can take conscious control of it.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: So like we can all right now, take a deep breath.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: You want to, let's do it, ready now. The whole
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: time you and I've been talking, we've been breathing without
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: thinking about it exactly. But just now we got a breath,
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: but we took control of it. So and so breath
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: is very powerful because it's one of the few places
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: that the two parts of our nervous system get to
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: come together. I will breathe whether I'm thinking about it
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: or not, I hope. But I can also control that
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: I can also focus on my breathing and change the rhythm.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: I can change the depth, I can change how long
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: I inhale, how long I exhale, right, And so, breathing
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: is inherently meditative. It inherently activates the parasympathetic nervous system,
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: and it inherently focuses the sympathetic nervous And so that's
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: you know, you'll teach an operator before they do something
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: really difficult, you'll actually do some breathing, do some box breathing.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: Like I'm I'm going to take control of my breath.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: I'm going to take conscious control of what I'm doing.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: My performance is going to improve my stress levels. Even
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: my hormones, my stress neurotransmitters are going to decrease. Right,
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I will be more present and in the moment after
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: just a few seconds of box breathing than I was
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: before I started box breathing.
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: So I would say that.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: The number one simplest thing for a very overstressed generation
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: who's constantly doing stuff is take ownership and control of
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: your breath and get good at making that a default
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: thing to do when you're stressed, so you can say.
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: Hey, I'm stressed out.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: I've got the stuff going on and being irritable, like
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: I've got all these things running through my head. It's
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: gonna sound cliche. It's time to take a deep breath.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: It's time to not just one.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: You can actually do multiples.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: You can control that and you can strengthen that. And
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: what's really cool about that is it's an instant reset.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: It will will one hundred percent change your focus at
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: the moment. But then we just talked about how our
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: mitochondria burn. Right, I've just supplied a whole bunch of
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: oxygen to the system and released a whole bunch of
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: carbon dioxide from and so I actually can can add
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: a little energy, actual energy to my body by taking
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: control of my breath, not breathing shallow and owning that
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: deep breath in and that deep breath out. So I'd
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: say that's that's one very powerful way that that individuals
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: can take ownership right now of their energy, their mental
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: health and also getting that rest for their para sympathetic nervous.
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: System makes sense even for the neuroscience also says that
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: I'm not sure, baby there you heard or not. Have
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: you heard about the Bramari again? Subambari is a kind
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: of a yoga okay. Yes, So it's about the like
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: buzzing words like a bee. So it activates your gamma waves.
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: If you need a like immediate attentions or immediate focus
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: on particular things, do the primary for five seconds and
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: that will help you to release the gamma waves and
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: help you do the focus on that thing.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: Now let's talk about the parenting time pressers and the
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: role modeling. Okay, So many of your clients are parents
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: with no times and the guilt about the health. Where
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: do you start when someone says they can't fit.
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: A great question.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: It comes back to that whole fifteen minutes a day thing, right, Okay,
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: So so there's for me. Parenting is both a very
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: physical action, but it's also a very spiritual action. Right,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: It's worth it's worth doing, right, and you only get
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: one shot. Don't get to do this thing over again,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: and so and so that the wonderful responsibility of parenting
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: is that is that whatever I do now is going
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: to be embedded in my child forever.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: Exactly, very heavy, very very difficult.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: Right. At the same time, it's not just today, it's
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: tomorrow and next week and next year. And if I've done.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: If I've done it right, hopefully they grow up as
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: a productive member of society. And then they're going to
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: have to put up with this old fart.
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: Right right exactly.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: And I hope I'm not too much of a burden.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: I hope that I get to equip them. And I'm
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: a consultative place for love and goodness, right, And so
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: what I tell parents is like, look, there's a couple
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: of things you need to need to wrap your head around.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: The first thing is your children will become more of
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: what you actually do every day than what you actually say.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: So I'll say this to Dad's all the time, I've
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: got too much going on. I can't take care of myself.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: Is that what you want for your son? When your
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: son's thirty years old, do you want him to say, Dad,
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: I got too much going on. I can't take care
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: of myself. What would you tell your son? You'd say, dude,
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: you own your life. Eat well, rest well, exercise, take
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: care of your body. I didn't raise you to drive
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: yourself into the ground at thirty, right, that's what you say.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: So now turn that advice in on yourself, because as
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: your son or your daughter will likely repeat a lot
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: of the same gaps or fallacies that you are doing
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: right now. You're not getting enough sleep, you're not eating adequately,
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: You're doing more work than exercise.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: They're being raised.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: In that house and how their parents have done things
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: their whole life is what they'll remember, is what they'll do.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Is it normal in your house to prioritize protein consumption?
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: Is it normal for your house to say, now, I
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: got a lot of work to do, but I have
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: an exercise today, Let's go exercise. Or is it normal
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: in your house to shut your phones off at seven
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: pm and go to bed on time?
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: Is it normal? If it's not normal, then somebody will
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: either make it normal or pay the health price for it.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: So that's the first thing I tell parents is like,
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: if you want to be a good parent model the
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: adulthood you want your children to grow into, you have
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: to do that. Health and fitness wise, you have to
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: do that because if you don't, they won't know. They'll
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: have to forge a path for themselves.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: Good luck. Who better to show them than you? And
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: so that's first.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: Second, it's an iterated game, right, So if I'm the
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: best parent I can be today, but it makes me
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: unhealthy for tomorrow, then I'm only going to becoming a
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: worse parent over time. So if my health and fitness
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: habits today make me bad at parenting ten years from now,
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: then that's not good. Right. So you have a four
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: year old, she's great to keep up with, right, she
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: runs around the house and you can throw around and
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: everything's happy. Well, let's say fourteen year old her loves soccer.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: I'm just making something up, but let's say and deep
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: in her heart, the biggest thing she wants to do
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: is be able to play soccer with her dad. But
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: her dad wasn't sleeping well, he hasn't been exercising, He's
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: gained a whole bunch of belly fat around the midsection.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: He's just too tired.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: And so you never, as a dad, get to kick
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: a ball around with your daughter, and she never gets
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: to see you as a part of her recreational activities. Right,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: And so parentings like that everything we do affects what
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: we can do in the future. And so if you
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: look at parenting like I have too much going on
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: to take care of myself, then you don't have the
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: opportunity to say, what am I training for in the future?
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: What kind of grandparent am I going to be someday? Right?
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: And I'm not saying we have control over everything, but
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: if I have an opportunity right now to change the
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: outcomes of my future, and I don't take that.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: It's all my fault.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: So and so I ask I ask parents regularly what
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: kind of adulthood do you want for your child?
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: Model that?
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: And then second, you can't afford not to take care
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: of yourself because age related degradation is a scientific fact.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: So the best you can do is make the most
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: of what you have right now in train for the future.
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: How does the parent help and energy level affect their
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: kids physically and emotionally?
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: So you might not know this a lot of guys, don't.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: Moms get oxytocin from cuddles, So like when your daughter,
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: you know, and that's Oxytocin is the neurotransmitter for human connection.
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: It makes us.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: It actually activates the parasympathetic nervous system. We feel rested,
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: we feel safe, we feel comfortable.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: Right, and that's good. There's nothing, gosh, there's.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: Nothing better than that, right, Like, like just human connections
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: so good. Like we even have some of this in
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: a podcast conversation. One of the reasons that podcast conversations
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: feel great is because we get to feel human connection.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: We get oxytocin from eye contact. We have a great conversation,
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: it feels good, and learning things brings oxytocin, so's that's great.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Dads get oxytocin from play. So cuddles are nice, like oh,
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: I'll give you a hug here, play with your hair,
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: you know particular. But if you get to throw your
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: daughter around a little bit and make her laugh and giggle,
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: or you get.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: To hide behind something ah and play with her.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: Like that, that that is oxytocin for dad. And actually
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: that's that's a neuroscientific fact. We've measured the amount of
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: oxytocin that men get from physical contact compared to play,
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: and men bond with their children through play.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: And so high energy.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: And I'm not saying you have to be the most energetic,
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: but enough energy that play doesn't sound like a pain
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: in the butt right now, when she's like, daddy, daddy,
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: play with me, Play with me. If you're like, oh,
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: it's been such a long day.
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: That has an effect on her.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Whereas when she's daddy, daddy, play with me, and you're like,
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: you know, it's been a long day, but I can
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: keep going. I've got some energy here, and we get
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: to play together. You'll feel more connected to her. She'll
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: feel more connected to her, and that's great for her development.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: A dad has to teach his sons what kind of
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: man to be. A dad has to teach his daughters
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: what kind of man's worth marrying. So his daughter says,
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: hey with me, Yes, I got you, honey, like it's
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: been a long day. Well, we're gonna have a good
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: time together. That's what you want from her husband. Someday
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: you want you want a man who's like, what do
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: you need? I've got you, like, I can do this,
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: I can take care of you. And and so. So
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: that that bond requires energy. It requires the capacity to
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: show up. It requires that you're well rested. It requires
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: that you have the endurance, right, it requires I don't
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: know how you play with your daughter.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: My boys we like.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: To fight, you know, we like to wrestle on the
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: tramplane and stuff. So part of the reason I train
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: is so that when I go jump on the trampoline,
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: I don't break something important and so and so, for parents,
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: this physical fitness and physical energy thing affects us. It
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: affects us in our brains, but it also affects us
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: in our body and our kids.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: Okay, sounds perfect. So what are the small changes that
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: can a busy family make together, like with males, moments
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: or screen time.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: I would say meals are a big deal. Planning your
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: meals for the week is very, very powerful for a fan.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: For for many families, they're just they eat what they
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: can get when they can get it. You know, they're
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: driving through the the Burger King drive through, you know,
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: grabbing whatever snacks are available, just kind of flying by
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: the seat of the pants on this thing. And you
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: have to make it work for you and your family.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: But as an example, I'm a master trainer, an exercise scientist.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: My wife is a dietician. Okay, we sit down every
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Sunday evening and we say what are we eating this week?
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: And we don't we don't make all them, but we
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: make a plantay. Hey, Monday night, we got this going on.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: We need to eat this Tuesday, we got this going on.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: We need we plan our dinners, right, some of them
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: might be out, but it's part of the plant okay,
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: and we know where we're going and who we're going
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: with and who's got what mm hmm. And then similarly,
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: we in our family, we have a rhythm to breakfast.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: We know on this day we're gonna eat this breakfast.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: The next day we're gonna eat this breakfast, and we
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: just keep alternating. So we had this this day, We're
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: gonna have this this day, we have this this. It's
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: not very complicated, it's very repeatable, and we know we
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: have the groceries for that. And then lunchtime we're all
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: kind of on our own. We've got we've got good
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: lunchtime foods and vegetables and fruits and leak proteins, we
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: got all those. They exist, and whatever you want, you
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: can get it. But we as a family, we have
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: our dinner and we have our breakfast kind of planned out.
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: And this is this is very powerful because it takes.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know, ten minutes, maybe fifteen minutes, but from
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: a nutrition perspective, it's the most important thing we can
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: do all week. If we plan our food, then we're
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: going to go buy that food. If we buy that food,
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: we don't want it to go to waste. We're going
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: to eat that food. We're going to cook and all
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: that stuff. Sometimes I'm having a great day, I'll do
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: the cooking. Sometimes my wife's having a great day, sheet
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: does the cooking. Sometimes we do it together. Sometimes we
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: make our ten year old do it. You need to
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: learn how to cook. Come here.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: And as a family, I mean, you got to feed
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: your kids.
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: As a family, food is a non negotiable thing, and
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: we spend time and energy doing that, right. We spend
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: time and energy feeding ourselves well. And I would say
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: for many families, food is so stressful. Food is so
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: it's it's all over the place, it's so chaotic.
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: You got a four year old.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: Sometimes four year olds are picky and all they want
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: to eat.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: Is macaroni and cheese.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: You know, like you're like, I'm sorry, I can't live
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: on mac and cheese. So that's not what we're eating
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: for dinner. And you're gonna like it, right, And so
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: there's you.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: Know this, big girl.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: But but it's it's worth building a rhythm of your
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: house around good food. So it's worth doing because you know, gosh,
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: the only thing you're going to do more than eat
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: in your life is sleep.
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: Like only sleeping.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: Only sleeping is going to take more time in your
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: life than eating will. And it's arguable, you know, yeah,
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: but for the rest of your life until you die,
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: you're probably going to eat multiple hours a day, right
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: and so and so figuring this out is it sounds
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: like a huge problem, But the smallest thing a family
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: can start doing is looking at their week before everything
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: gets started and saying, Okay, what are we going to eat,
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: what do we want to eat this week?
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: What's good for us?
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: And don't let it be overwhelming, just just playing the
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: week and maybe, gosh, you might only stick to the
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: plane halfway this week. Right, you have a plan and
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: then try again, and then keep working at that until
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: you figure out what's good for our house.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: How do we do things?
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: So, what's the right amount of cooking, what's the right
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: amount of eating out?
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: And get that figured out because.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: A few months later, if you've got that figured out
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: as a family, everybody will be healthier, everybody will be happier,
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: and holy cow, you can't imagine how much money you
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: save by food so chaotically.
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: But right nowadays, the parenting has a Biasess tell me,
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: I'll tell you how. Maybe the dad says that you
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: have to eat without watching a TV okay. If the
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: baby says no, I don't want to eat, now, Dad
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: says it's okay, you're gonna eat without sleep. You're gonna
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: sleep without eating. Okay, that's fine. Now mom is coming
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: into the picture. Mommy says it's okay. Now you have
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: to just give it the wet la one hour. Dad
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: is okay for now, at least, I don't want to
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: keep the baby sleep without eating. So there's a biasedness.
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: So always the kids knows that if something happened where
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: he should.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: Go, right, yeah, yeah, kids aren't stupid exactly right, Yeah.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it happens to me also right now?
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah yeah. And true story, right, true story.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: That's parenting is that you know, marriage is like that,
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: but then you add then you add little babies into here,
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: and mom has her her point of view and perspective
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: and it's important, and dad has his point of view
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: and perspective, and that's important. And what's crazy is the
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: child needs both. Yeah, the child needs both. The child
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: needs the parent who will say no, that's stupid, we're
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: not doing it, and and oftentimes that's the right call.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: And then the child also needs the parent that's like, hey,
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: they're there, I know, like it's you know whatever here,
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: like you know will it's it's okay, and the and
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: the child needs both of those things or they won't
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: develop well, because one could be a tyranny and the
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: other can be a very unfortunate what's the word, pathologically
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: compassionate force. It's a different kind of tyranny, right, Mama
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: bears her own kind of tyranny, And unfortunately, for many families,
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: to avoid fighting about it, one parent will get their
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: way and the other parent will.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: Just shut up.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: And that's not useful. And sometimes one parent's right and
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: the other one's wrong, and sometimes there needs to be
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: something to meet in the middle, and the only way
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: to navigate those two is to fight about it. And
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: so I don't know if this helps any other men
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: watching what you're watching, or even you, but something that's
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: been really helpful to me in my house is to say,
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: if we do this your way, where does that lead
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: and is that what we want?
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: We'll try it your way, but.
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: If it doesn't work, if the goal is no iPad
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: at the table or whatever, and tomorrow we have the
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: same problem, then we're going to do it my way.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: Unless you have a better idea. And usually for my
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: wife and I that's like, okay, like we'll do the nice.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: We call it minimal necessary force. We use the minimal
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: necessary for us to get the desired outcome for our family.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: I had a really picky My youngest is super picky.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: He hate like he's just he's eight years old now,
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: but he's starting to tolerate good food, like food that's
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: healthy for him. When he was two, all he wanted
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: to do was eat chicken nuggets. And this child was
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: prepared to starve to death if you didn't give him
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: his chicken nuggets. Right, So we put broccoli on his plate.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: I didn't want any broccoli. He's gonna eat his chicken
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: nuggets and so and so I was like, okay, you're
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: gonna eat your broccoli. No, I'm not gonna eat my broccoli.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: So we'd sit there and this kid is so stubborn.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: Two hours later he still has and it's the giant
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: waste of my evening. Right and and so you know,
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: now it's a power struggle. Mom's mad at me, you know,
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: all this stuff. And so over time it had to
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: be like I had to be like, he's not getting
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: any better. He's only eating these things. And my wife's
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: a dietician. She knows he can't only eat these things.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: He needs other nutrients in his life. Right, So it's like, Okay,
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: how do we want to do this because it's obviously
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: comfortable for you.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: I'm getting angry.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: That's not helpful, right, And my two year old's getting
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: more stubborn and finding that he can pit us against
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: each other and win.
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: Right, that's true.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: So what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? Well,
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: we didn't buy chicken nuggets. Suck on that two year
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: old because if you want chicken nuggets, and there are
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: none in the house, so sorry, buddy, this is what's
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: for dinner. And they throw his fit, and and so
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: what I did is I told my wife. I was like,
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: I will eat with him in his room. I will
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: bring him to his room. We'll have our plates there.
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: We're gonna sit there together until we finish. I won't
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: get angry, just be there with him and say, hey, buddy,
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: I'd love to leave too, but until until you eat
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: some of your broccoli, we can't leave. And I'll be
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: like sitting here thinking like this is gonna take forever,
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: and have to decide I'm gonna outlast you.
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: You're only two. Eventually you're gonna want to get out
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: of here.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: Man and so and so and so it worked. He
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: ate his broccoli begrudgingly. He was mad about it, but
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: but he did it. And and so then then we
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: got out and we sat at the table and we ate.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: And the next day when there's broccoli on his plate,
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: all right, buddy, we're gonna eat a broccoli.
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: No, do you want to go in your room and
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: sit there again?
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: So he takes a bite of his broccoli, like because
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: because you know, he learned the he learned the consequence.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: I wasn't gonna beat him. I wasn't gonna starve him.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: But it was like, hey, if you want, if you
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: want what you want, then you're gonna do what I
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: want and we're gonna get somewhere. And for a mom,
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: that's really hard because you know, mom, Moms are.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: Built to nurture.
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly right.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: So when a baby cries, the baby's always right. You
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: don't discipline a baby. You feed it, you know, you
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: change it, stiper, you bring it outside, and I hope
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: it stops crying. Yeah, But but a four year old
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: is not a baby four year old. A four year
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: old is a thinking, manipulative little being. Well, you ende
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: her way right.
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: You know what Watch is saying that my dad is
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: at home today. There's no office, so today no TV.
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: So whenever I go to the office, Okay, that is
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: not at all, that is at office, so today it's
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: a TV.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: Time, right right?
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: And she knows that exactly.
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and so and so yeah. Good.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: A good parenting relationship is the push and pull of
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: each other and and gosh, raising raising your kid well
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: is so important that it's it's worth the fights, It's
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: worth the hard conversations, it's worth it's worth navigating.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: Okay, I hear you.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: I don't. I don't want to be the bad guy
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: any more than you want me to be the bad guy.
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: But if this behavior doesn't change, we need a creative solution.
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: And I'm willing to be the bad guy. I just
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: I want to.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: I want a course of action you'll support, right, exactly,
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: even even if you're not happy about it, like, as
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: long as we're both on the same page. And uh,
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: and that's the thing I always joke with my wife.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: You know, by the time these guys move out, we're
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: stuck with each other, so we better still like each
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: other when we're done with this thing.
• 41:50
  Speaker 4: Let's talk about the woman. The woman in their late
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: isn't forties often care for kids aging parents while working.
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: What the unique health challenge? Do you see?
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: Twofold first caregivers have such a hard time prioritizing their
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: own health and fitness, and it feels virtuous like I'm
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: going to take care of them. I don't have time
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: for this, you know. Exercising would be selfish, Feeding myself
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: would be selfish. Getting enough rest would be selfish. I
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: have to take care of this person, right, And that
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: happens to moms with babies too. Yes, by the way,
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: it's very common and so and so. The first big
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: challenge is prioritizing taking care of yourself and you can
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: make you could try to make.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: This as selfless as possible.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: What do they say on an airplane when there's a
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: constant when there's a consistent drop in air pressure, masks
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: will fall from the ceiling. If you have a child
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: next to you, be sure to put your own mask
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: on first before you try to help them with theirs.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: Why because if you don't put your mask on, you
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: will pass out and then you won't be able to
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: help the child. So everybody understands that in an airplane contact.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: Same thing's true for caregiving. Take care of you. That
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: equips you to take care of other people. So even
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: if you have to make it selfless like that and say, hey,
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: my mission coming back to this operator mindset, my mission
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: is to care for this person the best I can.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be patient. I'm not going to be irritable.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to be resentful. It's going to be honoring.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: It's going to be meaningful and useful. What do I
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: got to do for that to happen. I got to
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: take care of me. Not saying it's easy, but it's necessary.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you need to spend resources on somebody else taking
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: care of this person so you can go take care
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: of you. So that's a big deal, and moms do
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: that with babies all the time. I need a caregiver,
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: I need a nanny. I need somebody to give me
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: a break, right so I can take care of me.
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: I can go work out, I can get rest, I
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: can eat well, I can read a book, take a nap.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: So that's the first thing I see.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: The second thing I see particularly women in their forties,
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: is their internal process starts to change significantly. Their hormones exactly.
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: This in some circles is called paramenopause. You can call
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: it what you want, but basically, the hormones that they've
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: lived with for twenty years maybe more, the hormones that
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: they live with are now starting to change significantly. Their
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: ovaries are not putting out is as much of the
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: what am I trying to say, follicular stimulating hormone FSH.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: It's not putting out as much estrogen, it's not putting
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: out as much progesterone, and not in the same amounts.
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: And so they're used to.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: A certain amount at a certain time of the month,
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: and then there used to a certain amount at a
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: certain time of the month. And then there's this cycle
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: from month to month that women's bodies are used to
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: in their forties that gets disrupted significantly. For some women,
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: this process can take a year. For some it can
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: take ten years where they go from women of child
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: bearing AID to post menopausal woman. And this timeframe is
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: very very difficult for women. For many women, it's so stressful.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: For many women, they feel very unstable on the inside
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: because their hormones are doing this all the time, and
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: so they do a lot of things to try to
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: stabilize that. There might be medications involved, there might be
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: even even caffeine consumption, alcohol consumption, things like that to
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: feel more stable and even keeled. And then similarly, I
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: mean it can be actually very traumatic. Talk about this
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: a lot in our culture, but paramedopauls can be traumatic
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: for women. They can be a completely different person with
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: their husband or their children than they're used to and
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: and that that feels strange and terrible, and so so
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: that trauma can build up in you as well as
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: a woman. And so so that said, there's there's an
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: internal change happening in a woman's body during this time,
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: and it can make them feel unstable on the inside
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: and then on the outside. Some of the things they
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: had been doing, exercise wise, some of the things they'd
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: been doing nutrition wise, their body's changing and so now
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: it's different. They might be accumulating fat where that wasn't
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: a problem before. They might be feeling unenergetic where that
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: wasn't a problem before. They might be getting pains and
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: aches in their digestive tract that weren't there before, and
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: they haven't changed anything about what they do, but nobody's
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: telling them that.
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: Hey, on the inside, you're changing.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: And so you have to learn your body all over again,
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: changing the way your body operates. And that's new and
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: it's okay, it's okay, it's good. You just have to
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: learn how to make the most out of that seat.
• 46:01
  Speaker 4: Okay. You know, after the certain is that the monopause
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: happen like they have lost their period cycles after a
• 46:07
  Speaker 4: certainly like forty two. Many women are getting fatty after
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: that one, and many women's are getting lean or very clean.
• 46:15
  Speaker 4: So what are the changes happens in their body? And
• 46:17
  Speaker 4: if they want to keep their body symmetricals that, what
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: are the steps they should take?
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: Well, I think the first thing we're saying is that
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: a woman's body before menopause and a woman's body after
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: menopause are not the same body.
• 46:30
  Speaker 4: Correct.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a woman's body before menopause is capable of bearing children.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: There's all kinds of things happening in there that allow
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: you to have a child, that allow you to grow life,
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: super cool miracle. After menopause, the body is no longer
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: equipped for that, it's no longer running for that, and
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: so so several of the hormonal processes that either made
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: you fluffier, larger than you'd like to be, or skinnier
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: than you'd like to be here, or whatever the case is.
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: As a woman, they're not the same thing anymore. So
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: the idea of like how do I maintain my body
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: from my thirties into my fifties is actually I think
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: it's the wrong question, And people could argue with me
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: about this. This This isn't a scientific argument. I would
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: say this is more of a philosophical argument. A woman
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: in her thirties is not the same as the same
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: woman in her fifties. They have two very different roles
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: biologically speaking, and they have two very different bodies biologically speaking. Now,
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: do is it easier for me to gain fat? Is
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: it easier for me to be skinny?
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: What's what's that look like in metopause? That's a little
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: different for each woman because of that hormonal change. And
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: in the right question isn't how do I get back
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: to being thirty? How do I be the best fifty
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: I can be?
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: Right? Like, what's that look like? For me? What's healthy?
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: What's low?
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: Stress? Keeps what keeps me functional? What keeps me energetic.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: What allows my body to be a joyful thing rather
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: than a painful thing? Right? And so so those are
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: the questions that that women need to be asking it.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: Because my body has changed, how do I take the
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: best care of it? What does it need now that
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: maybe it didn't need then in order to be the best?
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: Okay, sounds small sect. Okay, Now let's talk about the
• 48:09
  Speaker 4: ninety day challenge. Okay, for someone overwhelmed but ready to change,
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: what does the realistic ninety day transformation look like with
• 48:17
  Speaker 4: you physically, mentally, and spiritually.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: So at the beginning, I assume that you don't have
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: an exercise practice, you're not focused on your nutrition, and
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: so that's important, right.
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: What that looks like is first.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: We have to start with with why is this important
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: right now?
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: In what capacity?
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: Is this physical transformation align with what matters most in
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: my life? So I'll take you as an example. Being
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: a father is extremely important to you. Right If if
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: your physical goals don't align with becoming a better father,
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: then these goals don't matter.
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: They're a waste of your time. They're completely separate.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: Similarly, for myself as a business.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: Owner, and what capacity are my physical goals in alignment
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: with becoming a better business owner. If they're not aligned,
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: these goals don't matter. And so that's important. That's where
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: we have to start. You have to start with why
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: is this so important? And so what I do with
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: individuals is I lead them through a thought experiment over
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: a period of day where I ask them, I want
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: you to picture that you've done everything right. You fed
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: yourself well, you've exercised well, you sleep, you got this
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: stuff underwrap. Fast forward a whole year. What does that
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: look like? What are you capable of that you aren't
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: capable of now? How do you feel that you don't
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: feel now? What do you look like that you don't
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: look like now? What's life? What's different? And so we
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: picture that and we spent some time on it, We
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: draw pictures, we write it down right, because we need
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: to know what we're aiming at. Most of the time
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: when people make health goals, they don't know what they're
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: aiming at. They're saying, I want to lose ten pounds, okay,
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: and then what you know is that really what you want?
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: You might be ten pounds lighter if you do everything
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: right a year from now, but is that what you
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: really want? Is that what we're aiming at? How is
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: that aligned with all the things that in your life. Similarly,
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: you have to ask the opposic question. Let's say I
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: don't do anything right. In fact, I do it worse.
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: I drink more caffeine, I get less rest, I eat
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: more garbage, I don't exercise right, Like, what's the worst
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: that can be a year from now? And I really
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: picture that, really flash it out, really think through that,
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: because you know, picturing becoming a worse father, picturing becoming
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: a worse business owner, picturing becoming less capable, more painful,
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: on more medications, more mentally depressed, whatever, like, really understand that.
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: And then and now I have two very important things.
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: I have something to run toward and I have something
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: to run away from. And as a mammal, that's the
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: most optimally motivated I can be. Right. I know what
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: hell I'm running from, and I know what Heaven I'm
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: running toward. Right, And that's important because in order to
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: make significant change to myself, it has to be existentially
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: terrifying not to and it has to be existentially inspiring
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: to do it right. Otherwise would I do it? Why
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: would I change anything? And so and so once once
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: we've got that really fleshed out, that's the beginning. Through
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: the process, we start identifying the things that need to
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: shift in my life that will move me toward the
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: thing i'm picturing in a way from the thing I'm picturing,
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: and they're not big. In fact, the smaller the better. Yeah,
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: and that's why it takes so long. Like people want
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: to see I get this all the time on Twitter.
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: What's the fastest way to lose weight?
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I always respond, chop your leg off, because because
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: that's the true answer, Like, if you're trying to weigh
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: eighty pounds less on a scale, chop your leg off,
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: like your weigh eighty pounds less instantly. And they're like, oh,
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: this is not what I mean. Well, that's what you
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: ask because because when people ask questions like that, they're saying,
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: what's the fastest way to drop the number on the scale,
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: which is actually kind of a dumb question, no offense, Exactly,
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: the number on the scale doesn't relate to being a father,
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: and the number on the scale doesn't relate to being
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: good in your work. The number on scale doesn't even
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: relate to how good you feel right what you're actually
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: asking is how do I see progress quickly now? And
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: the answer is your body doesn't change quickly. It just doesn't.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: It takes time. And you know you're going to be
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: in this thing until you die, so it's worth taking
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: the time to do it right. It's worth taking the
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: time to see the change. So anyway, you start there
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: and through a ninety day process.
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: You get your nutrition squared away.
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: Through a ninety day process, you build the habit of exercise.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: Wherever you start through a ninety day process, you also
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: you also get to a point where you see chain
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: and you can see a visible difference. You can say
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: that's where I was when I started, this is where
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: I am now. And you also see that the trajectory
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: doesn't stop, that you have built the habits necessary to
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: keep moving forward.
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: What's really cool is.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: Usually for most people when they look back a year later,
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: they've seen more progress than they expected. Yeah, that's than
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: when they first initially pictured it, which is very cool,
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: And that's the power of incremental tiny game.
• 52:58
  Speaker 4: I think you know that for the person who are
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: asking for you that what is the fastest way to
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: lose the weight? I think that great answer that you
• 53:05
  Speaker 4: can give that better to ask upload your image to
• 53:08
  Speaker 4: AI and ask him to lose the thirty pounds the
• 53:13
  Speaker 4: fat wad.
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah that's the fast wa way.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: Done.
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah done.
• 53:16
  Speaker 4: What the one small commitment someone can make today that
• 53:20
  Speaker 4: if they keep it for a year, will completely change
• 53:23
  Speaker 4: their help.
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, So I would say, get in the habit of
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: asking every day what's one thing I need to start
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: and what's one thing I need to stop, and then
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: actually do it. If you did that every day, then
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: a year from now, you'll be a completely different person.
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: What's weird is if you sit on the edge of
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: your bed and go, Okay, what's one thing I'm doing
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: that's stupid and I need to stop it? You have
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: an answer instantly. You know exactly what you need to
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: stop doing instantly. And if you sit on the edge
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: of your bed and go, what's one thing that would
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: be really good for me, really good all around? What
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: do I need to start doing again? You have an
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: answer instantly.
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: And if you actually did.
• 53:54
  Speaker 4: Those things, Yeah, that's true. The people are ignoring themselves right.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: What's so interesting is from exercise science and nutrition science,
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: which I love these fields. They can teach so much.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: I can help people shorten their learning curve so far
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: with this knowledge, however, most of what's happening is people
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: know what they need to start doing, what they need
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: to stop doing.
• 54:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: So if you find yourself in that position, you're like, Okay,
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: I heard that from Alex, I'm going to try it,
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: and you don't.
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: You don't actually do the thing.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: You're like, I need to start any stop you don't
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: do it, then the second best thing you can do
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: is hire somebody who will hold your feet to the
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: fire and make you freaking do it.
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: Like that's because that really is.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: It was actually Jesus who said where your treasure is there,
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: your heart will be. Also one of the things that
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: means is when you spend money on it, you put
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: resources towards making a change.
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: Guess what, take it way more serious right then you
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: would have if you did.
• 54:49
  Speaker 4: Okay, let's have a rapid fire around. Okay, this is
• 54:50
  Speaker 4: the last one. Okay, So I'll give you the only
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: three options. Yes, you have to tell me the exact
• 54:54
  Speaker 4: option that you want to choose. Okay, what ruin's health faster, sugar, stress,
• 55:00
  Speaker 4: sleep derivation, sleep deprivation. Guess priority for busy dad, sleep
• 55:04
  Speaker 4: training or nutrition? Train better long term cardio or strength
• 55:07
  Speaker 4: strength for honest number scale, weight or waste side waste size,
• 55:13
  Speaker 4: most overrated goal six tack big biceps or PR.
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: Lift PR lifts.
• 55:17
  Speaker 4: If you could fix only one in a client discipline,
• 55:21
  Speaker 4: knowledge or environment is more toxic for health, alcohol, junk,
• 55:25
  Speaker 4: food or social media.
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: Dang, that's a hard one.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: I can't pick.
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: They all suck. They all suck.
• 55:33
  Speaker 4: Which is harder to fix? Hormones or habit? Oh have
• 55:37
  Speaker 4: it at forty plus. What matters more? Have you look,
• 55:40
  Speaker 4: how you perform, or how you feel fel and for
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: lifelong health, choose one walking daily, lifting twice a week,
• 55:47
  Speaker 4: or sleeping eight hour.
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: It's a good one.
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna go with walking daily.
• 55:51
  Speaker 4: This is an amazing episode.
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: I must Yeah, well, thank you, thank you. These were
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: very well thought out questions.
• 55:55
  Speaker 4: Well done, sir, Thank you so much saying thank you
• 55:58
  Speaker 4: for being guessed on the sub issue.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I appreciate you and my best to you and
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: to your daughter.
• 56:04
  Speaker 4: Thank you so lins all good day, take care, Okay, Mike.
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: What's up?
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: Faithful? This episode helped you share it with someone who
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  Speaker 1: My dad's devotional Faithful Fitness is available now, and you
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  Speaker 1: can join our faithful Fitness community by clicking the links
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: in the show notes. We all have a cross to carry,
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: but it's lighter when we do it together. See how later, Alligator.
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: But until then, train hard and pray even harder.