Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / The Ceiling You Don’t See 6/7: Recovery Raises the Ceiling #SelfCareSaturday

Transcript

The Ceiling You Don’t See 6/7: Recovery Raises the Ceiling #SelfCareSaturday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: So it's self-care Saturday.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yohoo! You made it.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: You made it to self-care Saturday.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: And you're listening to the sweet spot.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're having a great day already.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: You may not know it yet, but you're having a fantastic day because this is the day.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is the day that God has made.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's a day to rejoice and be glad.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm certainly happy.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: I have my cup of coffee right here, and I'm looking over this waterfront and I'm thinking, hmm, today's a great day.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's a fantastic day.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's not sunny, but it's great.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes in life you have to be your own sunshine.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the sweet spot, beautiful souls.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: This is Self Care Saturday.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: As you know, I'm a board certified psychiatrist.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I work with athletes, I work with executives, I work with first responders.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I work with people who are trained to push themselves, to endure, to exceed limits.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: I work with folks who are on the front lines often.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what I really like?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I love working with you.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: I love when you and I sit like this on a Saturday and we think through what is our next step, or we reflect on what has happened.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: This whole week we have been dealing with a wonderful series here on the sweet spot called The Ceiling You Don't See.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: The concept of this whole week has been around the idea that our beliefs can be motivating, they can be empowering, our beliefs can propel us to new heights, but our beliefs, especially when they're limiting beliefs, especially when they're beliefs that secretly hold us back, they become ceilings.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: They become invisible ceilings, they become the ceilings we don't see.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so we've devoted our entire week to this idea that beliefs are important to understand and to unpack, to get it.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't understand it and you don't pay attention to it, the belief that you have secretly that I'm not good enough, that I may not get the promotion, that I don't deserve this, or I'm too X or I'm too Y or something is wrong operating in the background of your mind could be the reason we're not seeing the progress we want.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: It could be the reason we're in conflict with other folks.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Beliefs.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: So we've spent a lot of time with beliefs this week, and I'm inviting you to go back and check out Making Moves Monday, Trust Your Self Thursday, pick one and just allow this idea of is there a ceiling that I'm not seeing?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a ceiling that I am not seeing that is potentially limiting what I need to do?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you can believe it, you can achieve it.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Belief has its own biology, belief has its own rhythm, belief has its own power, and it's bi-directional.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: It can work both ways.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get twisted with the idea that belief is all positive.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: We can have some beliefs that are just not good.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: You ever believe that somebody is no good?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: I know that happens to me sometimes.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know I'm so positive you can't imagine me being negative, but yeah, sometimes I feel like yeah, this person is like, ah, this dude is like, you know, a waste of time, whatever.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I have this belief.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing to me how that person ends up being what you believe them to be.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: No matter what you tell them, no matter how you slice it, that person lives up to your belief, so it's very important what you believe.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that's my rant for you on Saturday as we sort of narrow down this uh talk into self-care because this is self-care Saturday, and I want you to know that recovery is not a reward.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: All right, recovery is not a reward, it's a requirement for belief.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, yesterday on Finish Strong Friday, we named a very hard truth.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: We said that fatigue doesn't create limits.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people think that they're they've hit their limit and it's due to fatigue.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no, no, no.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Fatigue doesn't create limits.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: It reveals bong bong.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: It reveals the ones you've been living under.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's what fatigue does.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: When you're super tired, your real limits come out.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: So when energy drops, your belief tends to narrow, options begin to shrink, your patience disappears, everything feels tighter and more urgent because you've stopped believing.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Today is self-care Saturday, and today we're answering the obvious question.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: If fatigue narrows belief, how do we widen it again?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's the obvious question.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Dr.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet, you said that fatigue narrows my belief patterns.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, then how do I widen it?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, guess what, my friend?
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: The answer isn't willpower.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's regulation.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: You have got to regulate things, you've got to be in charge.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the key idea for today belief is not just something in your brain, it's not just a cognitive event.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Belief is also physiological.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, I told you that belief has a biology.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I went on a tangent maybe a couple of days ago where I just went off on like what you believe affects your biology, it affects your blood pressure, it affects your pulse, it affects how wide your blood vessels dilate, it affects how you feel, your mood, everything, your entire biological existence can be altered by what you're believing in the moment.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: So when your nervous system is overloaded, your beliefs and your belief range shrinks.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: You don't imagine and you're not as creative.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: You don't tolerate uncertainty as well, and you don't trust your capacity to adapt.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times when people say I've hit my limit, I'm frustrated, all that, they've just not, it's just what they're believing.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's not weakness, it's biology.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: In Buddhist wisdom, they've understood this for centuries.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's a feel there's a saying they feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's a Buddhist thought.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Conscious breathing is my anchor.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: They believe in Buddhism about conscious breathing, returning to your breath.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's why every now and then here on the sweet spot, you'll hear me say, take a deep breath.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Just to recenter your nervous system, to reset your nervous system, that's not just Buddhism.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just Dr.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet trying to uh be spiritual.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: No, this is I'm based in neurology and physiology.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is a biological event when you take a deep breath.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: We've talked about that.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that line that feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky is important for us to understand, and that we can always return to our breathing.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you're fatigued, your mind fills with clouds, doesn't it?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: The urgency cloud, the pressure cloud, narrowing everything, making you hunch your shoulders and drive faster, walk faster, ruminating on things, can't let go, feeling so tired.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Recovery isn't about forcing those clouds to go away.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Recovery here on self-care Saturday, it's about creating enough calm for the sky to be seen again.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's about creating enough calm for the sky to reappear in your life.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And the ancient wisdom speaks this beautifully using this a little bit of a different language.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: In the message Bible, Jesus says in Matthew 11, verses 20 to 29, come to me, get away with me, and you recover your life.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'll show you how to take a real rest.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think in the KJV, it's like if you're heavy burdened and all that, I get it, but this is real straightforward.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Come to me, get away with me, and you recover your life.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'll show you how to take a real rest.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the recovery is all about getting back to the core belief that there's something bigger than me here.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's not indulgence, that's the instruction.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus doesn't say push harder, drive harder, grind.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: He says, Come away with me.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because rest restores your range, it gives you a range of reactions and possibilities.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: And when your body settles, the brain regains its flexibility.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's biological and neurological.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Belief begins to expand again, and trust becomes possible again.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: This is why exhausted people make such small, rigid decisions, and rested people can see so many options.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: So let's make it real today as we close out on self-care Saturday.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: If this week narrowed you, if this week constricted you, if this was a hard week for you, if you feel less patient, you feel less creative, less open, that doesn't mean you're failing, my friend.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Not at all.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: You're not failing.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: It means your nervous system just needs space.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: These are signals.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: And in the work that I do, I tell people like, no, don't judge yourself.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Don't believe that something is wrong.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Believe that you can adapt.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Believe that you can do something.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Self-care doesn't mean fixing yourself, it means giving your body enough safety to widen your beliefs again.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: How is that for a thinking?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Giving your body enough safety, enough space, giving your mind and body and your spirit just enough space, silence, and surrender to widen what you believe again.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you believe it, you'll see it.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Not when you see it, you'll believe it.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Change that around.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: So when you give your body enough safety to widen your belief again, this that might look like slowing down your breath.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Stepping outside without your phone for five seconds, sitting quietly for five minutes.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know how hard that is to do these days?
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: To find five minutes to sit with no incoming messages?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Choosing rest without having to explain it.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Just resting.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Small acts with really good effects.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, recovery doesn't just restore energy, it restores what you believe you can handle.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to say that again, and I want you to let that land in your soul today on self-care Saturday.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Recovery doesn't just restore energy, it restores what you believe you can handle.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to the sweet spot.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: It is self-care Saturday and you're doing just fine.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: I believe in you.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: I believe you can do this.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: I believe that anything that you're facing right now, you have the capacity to handle it.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow, my friend, sweet spotter, tomorrow is slowdown Sunday.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going to take a step back.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Not to solve anything, but to notice the ceilings we've been living under without realizing it.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, this series has been about the ceilings you don't see.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Today we let we learned that recovery is not just about restoring energy, we learned that recovery restores your belief.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: What you believe you can handle.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Protect your beliefs.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: I've been saying it all week because some people think they're gonna have to be charged money or something to subscribe.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's not the case here on the sweet spot.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: It is completely free.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is my gift to you, and your gift to me is to join me and walk with me on the journey.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's all we need to do together.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if someone you love, somebody you know, somebody you care about, a colleague, a friend, a loved one, you has been kind of running on fumes, grinding away, really pushing through illness, pushing through work, pushing through anxiety, pushing through pain, injury, whatever it is.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Share this with them today.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: And let them also benefit from the exchange we're having.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: All right now, beautiful sweet winners.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Rest today.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's self-care Saturday.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Rest without guilt.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: You're not stepping back.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: You're not stepping back, you're restoring your range.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: You are building something and you are capable.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're more than capable.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Love and blessings.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you tomorrow.