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How to Face Fear with Faith: Trusting God When You're Afraid · Still Well Podcast

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Friends, and welcome back to another episode of Still Well Podcast.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Brooke Stillwell, and I am so glad you're joining me again for another conversation on all things midlife and life after the kids are grown.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And what are we pursuing?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And what is our purpose?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And what is our calling that God has placed in our heart?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And how do we navigate?
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Our bodies changing, our hormones raging, all the things.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, those are big topics, right?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is the thing.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody who counts midlife women or moms out or irrelevant is crazy because we are dealing with all the things and we are overcoming, aren't we?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's a lot that's happening.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot we've already been through, and yet we are still becoming more of ourselves.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening to this podcast, I'm assuming that you, like me, want to step into this next chapter with a lot of joy and purpose and hope and that you are seeking God's calling on your life.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it's never too late to get started on those things.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just love these conversations that we've been having.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you are too.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: And today is another heartfelt topic.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: I seem to be doing a lot of those lately.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: But this is again from real life things that are going on and things that have come up for me.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like this podcast is becoming a bit of a journal, which is weird because you all are listening.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's not private.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: When I was little, you know, did you have those diaries that had the lock and key?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought I was so cool having that.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I was writing all the time.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I am definitely a writer and a communicator.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: So the speaking comes easy, but I am not used to everybody necessarily listening in on the inner workings of my mind or my struggles or what's going on.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: But here we are yet again.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I just really believe that if we are not forthcoming, if we don't share what's going on, if we're not vulnerable and real, if we want to continually filter our lives and sugarcoat everything, we're not, we're not helping ourselves, number one.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And number two, we're not helping each other.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're not helping each other.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: We need to uh, I think, come together and start to share and start to be more real with each other.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much power in that.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much power in connection.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And this week, I want to talk to you about uh fear.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: And we've probably talked about that in other podcast episodes, but this I have specifically geared toward one thing that I have struggled with in the past and it is coming up now.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm continuing having to overcome it.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that is flying, traveling.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And if you love to fly and you love to travel, don't turn this off.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Please continue to listen because while I might be talking about fear and anxiety around, I'm hopeful this is going to be a broader conversation about the things that we fear and worry about and how they can hold us back in life.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that it, whether it's flying or whether that's making new connections, stepping out of your comfort zone in some way, going to maybe a public speaking event, raising money for a nonprofit.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's just stepping out of your comfort zone and reconnecting with somebody from your past that you need to heal in a relationship.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there are so many different ways that fears show up in our life.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I think uh this is the thing.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: While all of us feel fear from time to time in some way, the way that shows up in our life is different for everybody.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like my husband and I joke about that all the time because he gets on me for all my fears and worries, which rightfully so, because living with a person that struggles with anxiety and OCD is definitely not easy.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but then I talk about myself because it just seems like the things he's worried about are just, I would never even lose a second sleep over it.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, we're all a little bit different in that.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: But at the end of the day, the heart of a lot of that is fear.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: And first of all, we need to take a step back and remember that fear is not from God.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, the Bible is very clear on that.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are feeling fear, you need to remember that that fear is not coming from God.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, obviously, there's different types of fear.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you're feeling fearful because something is dangerous to you or it's a decision that you shouldn't be making, like, I don't know, doing a cliff dive or jump off of the side of a mountain.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why that came up, other than my son has been in hiking and hang gliding, heaven help me, in Switzerland.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so these death-defying acts are on my mind.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes there is fear to keep us safe, right?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a different story.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: But most of the time we're fearing about things that aren't probably not going to happen.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: We're making them bigger in our minds than they need to be.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so that fear is not from God.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: As a matter of fact, the Bible specifically tells us, and many times not to fear and not to worry, and that it doesn't come from God.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're feeling fear, our pastor said this months ago and it resonated with me so much that if you're feeling fear, it's not from God.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're feeling fear around a specific topic or event or thing that is not from God, that is from the enemy, and we know that the enemy is a liar.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're feeling fear around something that's over and over and over again, that's not from God, it's from the enemy, he's a liar.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: That means whatever it is that you're fearing is a lie and not going to happen.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: So put it to rest.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Stop.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Easier said than done.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: If I could just snap my fingers and have that stop, what a world I would live in.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: But it's not that easy.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Any type of fear that we have, I think, it's not, it's I've talked about this before, you know, as I've dealt with anxiety and different fears in my life and different emotional things with family members saying, oh my gosh, where's your faith?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a really hard thing for a person of faith to hear if you're struggling with anxiety and fear.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think so many of us already struggle questioning our faith.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: At least for me, when I'm having moments of anxiety or fear, I get can get down on myself because I'm like, Brooke, you love Jesus, you know the Lord, you trust him.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: So why are you letting yourself, why are you fearing?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Is your faith not strong enough?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to stop that, you guys, because we all, it's normal, it's human to doubt, and it's okay to doubt.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: And Jesus loves us in the midst of that.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't mean that we are not his child, that he's not listening to us, or that we are not faithful.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that means that we need to be more stringent, I think, on just constantly giving our thoughts and our fears and our worries over to him.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's an issue for me because my brain has just been so wired through the years to think on and worry about things that it's a constant surrender and sacrifice to the Lord when those thoughts or fears come up before I go down a rabbit hole to give them over to him and to try to rewire those patterns in my brain.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: So that's number one, you know, and number two, if it wasn't such a struggle for humans, if it wasn't human nature, I don't think it would be talked about so much.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Fear is one of the most heavily talked about concepts in the Bible.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the Lord talks about that many, many times.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, here we have the phrase fear not appears 70 to 103 times in translations like the King James Version.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: 70 to 103 times.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: The word fear appears 300 to 500 times in scripture in general, with topics that range from the fear of God, um, that's reverence, to human anxiety and dread.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: So the fear of God is a whole nother topic.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: But this concept, the reason why I want to mention to you that it is talked about so many times in the Bible is because I want us to understand that God knows it's a struggle for us.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't mean that we're not his child, and it doesn't mean that we don't have faith.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: It just means that we live in a fallen world and we have to constantly battle our human nature.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: And if he didn't recognize that and know that, I don't believe it would be in his words so much.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: So remember that.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's an important thing to just ease your mind.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I, this has come up on the forefront of my mind because I think you probably know, because I have talked about it, that my oldest son Anthony is studying abroad this semester.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: And my husband and I made plans to go and visit him for about nine days.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And even when we were making the plans, I was a little anxious about it because I don't love flying.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't historically love flying.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Certainly, a long flight is hard for me.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And certainly going overseas is even harder.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I was already feeling a little bit of dread.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And now we're two weeks away.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And when you watch this, I may have already even been on the trip.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure within when this episode will drop, but it's on my mind.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I just started packing over the weekend.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's a whole nother story because I'm the worst packer ever.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I need to start in advance, otherwise, it's a whole thing.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: But because I'm packing, because I'm starting to plan the trip, it's really on my mind and my heart.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And man, last night I was really going down like a downward spire spiral again of just fearful thoughts around it, thinking about the worst case scenario, all the things that could go wrong.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually, I have been working so hard on transforming myself by the renewing of my mind.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to say transforming myself because it's not me doing the work.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's the Lord, but I have to make the step close to him to give him those thoughts.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been actively working on that, being more aware of my thoughts and just stopping when something comes up that shouldn't be there and giving it to the Lord.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And in this case, I just kind of started to let my mind spiral on those flights.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think some of it, as weird as this might sound, is like it's a comfort zone.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Even though it doesn't feel good, it's like what it's like my status quo.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's like my baseline.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's where I feel comfortable living.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like if I don't worry about the flight, then maybe something bad will happen.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: I have to worry about it to control it.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if that makes any sense, but I really do think that this is somewhere where my mind goes.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, that that, I'll just be honest with you, this fear of the flying, it started for me years ago.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: When I was young, I had no trouble flying at all.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: I used to actually fly to Michigan when I was like a little girl on my own, like where the stewardess had to get you on the flight.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: And stewardess, I'm showing my year as flight attendant, get you on the flight, it'd get you off.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: I would fly to Michigan from Pennsylvania to spend a couple weeks with my cousins there.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I loved it.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't think anything of it.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I was in uh graduate school, I had a night before I was getting ready to fly, or a couple of days before, to meet my husband, who I was at the time dating, I had a horrible dream about a plane crash.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it was so vivid and so real that I woke up in a sweat.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't even want to get into the details of the nightmare, but suffice it to say, a flight later, a lot of the things that started to happen in the nightmare happened on a plane.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I was beside myself.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: I remember landing on that flight, and I think I landed in Chicago.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: I still had to get back to Iowa and calling my parents and saying, I'm not getting on another flight.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm renting a car and driving.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: And from that time on, I just I had horrible, horrible, horrible anxiety around flying.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Fears, it just ridiculous, like paralyzing.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Now I would still do it when I was younger, but I'm just gonna be really real and honest in my 20s.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: I would just like drink, like drink a lot to get through it.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: I would just self-medica and numb to get through the flight.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like to the point where I would call my parents when I would land three different times to tell them I landed, not remembering the first time I called.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't recommend that.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: That was stupid.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: That was in my earlier days.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: I even remember doing that like on flights with my kids, like a morning flight, like not a lot, just having one glass of wine just to take the edge off for me.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember, I mean, this is going back years, like I don't know, 15, 20 years, something like that.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: And and having like feeling people were looking at me, like, look at her.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: She's a mom.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: She's got these little kids, and she's having a glass of wine in the morning.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I felt I needed that just to get through that flight.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then I went through a period of time where we just didn't fly at all.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't go anywhere unless we could drive.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I think back at that time period and just think about how much I missed out on, what my kids might have missed out on.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I've talked about this before, but I don't want to live, I don't want to live my life that way.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to live my life letting fear control me and missing out on things because I know that's not the life God wants for me.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not okay to live that way.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: I guess it is.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like you're not gonna have eternal life, but like it's just for me, the standard that I want for my life is I don't want fear to be a deciding or controlling factor for me.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I've gotta constantly, because I deal with some anxiety and fear, I've got to constantly remind myself and ask myself when I'm making a decision about something.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Am I making this decision because I really don't want to do it and it's not the right decision?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Or am I making this decision because I am afraid?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if the answer is I'm making the decision one way or the other, it's a yes or no because I'm afraid, then I've got to go and do it.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've got to push myself out of my comfort zone and I've got to go do it.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the same thing with travel.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, this phase of life, a lot of us are talking about traveling more now, right?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because the kids are older, they're out of the house, many of them are their heading out of the house, they're independent, we have more time, maybe in flexibility with our jobs, and we want to start to travel and see the world.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: We want to make the most of our time.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: We want to spend it with maybe spouses or friends or whatever that looks like.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, to let fear get in the way of that is just it's silly.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I've had conversations with my husband where he said, Why would you do something that you're that worried about?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Because if I didn't do things because I was worried about them, I wouldn't do a whole lot of anything.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I have to do it scared.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's the thing.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are we gonna choose to do it scared?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Are we gonna show up anyway?
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because it, it just that's life.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's always gonna be something for us to be afraid of, right?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: There's always gonna be something for us to worry about.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to make the decision whether we're gonna do it afraid or not.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the decision that I have made in my life when it comes to traveling and flying, that I am going to do it.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: I know that God is gonna get me through it.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: I know the promises that he's made to me.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: I will pray before and after.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: I personally am not going to use medication or alcohol or anything else because I rely on Jesus.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: He knows what's best for me.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: My time is in his hands.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna stand on that truth and stand on that firm foundation and know that in any moment, in any scenario, he's gonna provide everything I need to get by.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: He's never going to leave my side, and I'm gonna go and do that thing scared.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna get on that plane and I'm gonna go overseas to see my son.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna get there safely and joyfully and peacefully.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: God's grace is sufficient for me, and then I'm going to fly home and God is going to protect me.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: And believe me, I get on that plane and I pray for every single ounce and part of that plane, every single person on it, like over and over and over.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then I put it in God's hands.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the more I do it, the easier it's become.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's another thing.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like the more we do things that frighten us, the less power and fear they have over it.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing worse, I think, than the fear of the unknown of just not knowing, because we can tend to make situations bigger or more scary than they are.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so sometimes you just have to do it and do it several times until it's no longer stepping out of your comfort zone because you're more comfortable.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain is more used to it.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's not looking for every single fearful thing.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: And and you can do it with more peace.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: So that's part of it.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do it scared until it becomes no longer scary.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Go and do the thing.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that that has definitely been helpful for me.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: That eases my mind, that eases my brain.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so remember that when you're feeling anxious or afraid.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I also think like I just want to say that I think it's easy for people that deal with anxiety to think that they are maybe cowards or fearful.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's probably easy too for people on the outside looking in who know anxious people, thinking that maybe they being labeled as like, oh, you're anxious, you have fear.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: And in my mind, anxious people, easy for me to see because I'm saying because I'm gonna toot my own horn here, but anxious people are brave people because we're still living our lives in spite of the fear or the anxiety that we feel.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: You have to make an effort and a choice daily to walk through that fear to overcome it and to get on to the other side of it.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not always an easy walk, and yet we continue to do it because what is the other answer?
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: What is the other answer?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: I refuse to let anxiety get a stronghold in my life.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so, how are we gonna live?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: What are we gonna choose?
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: I I was listening to a podcast.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: I've listened to a couple podcast episodes now with a pastor named Philip Anthony Mitchell.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just so funny how the Lord works because this fear stuff has been on my mind.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually had started to think about doing a podcast episode on this.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: I thought, if I'm dealing with it, you guys probably are, and it'll be therapeutic for me too.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, God and all of his wisdom, all of a sudden I'm seeing things about fear and worry.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things was the podcast episode with this pastor, and he was talking about, and he has a huge congregation and he's preaching all over the country.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: He's got podcasts.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this guy is on fire for the Lord.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: You just listen to him, and to me, it's like he's filled with the Holy Spirit.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: But the reason I'm telling you this is because he said that every single time he gets up to the pulpit, every single time he goes to speak to an audience when he's on a podcast, whatever it is, he is afraid.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: He is afraid and he has to take time to pray, but he is afraid, he is fearful, he is slightly anxious, but he goes and does it anyway.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: He does it with the fear, right?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: And uh that's exactly what I'm talking about here, right?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: That we choose to do it anyway.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: And being brave doesn't mean that you don't have fear.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Being brave means that you do it in spite of the fear.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: And man, I just love that.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: I just absolutely love that because then we are brave and we can do hard things, whether that's like for me, the traveling and the flying, or maybe that's whatever it is that you're afraid of, we can do the hard thing.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: And when we do the hard thing, and even if we are afraid, it doesn't make us a coward.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: It actually makes us brave.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, probably this side of heaven, because we live in a fallen world, we are never gonna live a life without fear.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know that that's possible.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: As much as I wish it was, and as many times as I've prayed and will continue to pray for fear to be wiped from me, I just I don't think that it's ever gonna be completely gone, but I do think, and Pastor Philip talked about this too, that with the Lord on our side in prayer, we can learn to fear less.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that we will be completely fearless because we are human beings and we are fallen and we have human nature, but we can fear less.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that is my goal.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: That is my goal every time I travel, every time I fly, every time I step out and do things like a podcast or speaking the truth when maybe somebody's not gonna want to hear it, or being myself and not caving to what other people think I should be.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: Every time I do that, I step out and fear a little less.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: We have to just continue to do these things.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: We have to know that God's got us and that we don't have to fear.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: I, in the midst of this, I was having some trouble sleeping.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, in the last several months to maybe a year, I find that when I toss and turn at night, I'm coming in and out of a deep sleep to a light sleep, or maybe almost awake, but not fully awake.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: I just almost feel this like push on my heart.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if it's the Lord speaking to me or fear rising up.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: What it is, but like I'm praying.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm not like up and speaking out loud, but I'm I'm praying.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I do.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I just speak Jesus' name, Jesus, but I'm praying, Lord, like protect me, Lord, give me your mind and take my mind.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: Help me to think your thoughts, help me to see things the way they really are, Lord, more than anything else.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I just want to feel your presence.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: I, I, one of the things for me in the past at night has been my my soul thirsts for you, like a deer thirst for water.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the other night, I was really tossing and turning and just having some trouble sleeping.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: My husband was traveling, so I was in the house alone.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, my high schooler was here, but in the house alone, right before I went to bed, my dog decided to lose her mind and bark at something at the front door.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: So then, of course, I was oh, thinking like naturally somebody was there to hurt me.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't help either that earlier in the evening, this is what I get for scrolling on Instagram, something popped up on my feed.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: And at first, I'm watching it and I think it's cute.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's this mom who is she's filming her uh son, maybe 13-ish, walking through the kitchen.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the heading is, We love to prank each other and scare each other in this house.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: And this was one of the best ever.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm still watching along, not thinking anything.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden, somebody with like a uh whoever it is from Halloween, I don't even know the name, like that face appeared in the window behind the sink outside, and the kid was wild.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: It was horrible.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: But that was in my mind to like went to bed with these things on my mind, and and I can I can get stuck on something.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so all that to say, I wasn't sleeping well, I was up through the night, and all of a sudden I just in the middle of the night, I felt this nudge like Psalms 23, Psalms 23.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a pretty well-known Psalms.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: You may know it, but I and I do, and I I have memorized it years and years and years ago, but it's a psalm that I haven't recited or said in full from memory in years, easily years.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I just heard Psalms 23, and I'm laying there partially asleep, and the scripture just comes back to me.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so I start just on repeat over.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Over the whole of Psalms 23.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I eventually started to calm and I fell back asleep.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, I haven't felt closeness to the Lord like that in years and years and years, even though I'm constantly seeking him.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I attribute a lot of that, some of that's God's timing.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of it is me being willing to just spend time and quiet with him, seeking him and searching for him and doing it more throughout my day to stay connected with him and being in the word.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm nothing special and I still have so far to go, but I'm just saying that he is there for you.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: That comfort that you need is there if you will actively seek it and you will actively spend time at his feet.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: And by that I mean just quiet time by yourself in the Lord, not necessarily even asking for things, but just being quiet and putting your heart on him and listening for him.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to, I want to read Psalms 23 to you, in case you haven't heard it, and even if you've had, just to be reminded of it because it's just so beautiful.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it so applies to us in this phase of life as we walk by faith and walk even in spite of the fear.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: And Psalms 23 is this the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul, he leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, was that powerful through the night?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: And there were a couple things that stuck out to me that night that are sticking out to me more as I read over this.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: And you guys, I now look this up and I found like a poster of it online and I screenshotted it and cropped it down, and I've been keeping it.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna just continue to go back to it and to continue to read it because it's such a comfort to me.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, in years past, I have held on to lie down in green pastures leads me beside still waters because he wants to bring us peace.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel that.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: But even more so, the other night was just this he restores my soul.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's so beautiful and so powerful.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: He restores my soul and he leads me in paths of righteousness, not for me, but for his name's sake.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, like I will fear no evil.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: God is with me, he comforts me.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then this, you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: He's preparing a table before me, even in the presence of my enemies.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: So God's not only with me when I'm fearful or the enemy is near, or darkness tries to come, but he's preparing me a table for me.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: He loves me that much.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: He anoints my head with oil, and then goodness and mercy will follow me.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: These are all such amazing, for me, just amazing, amazing promises to hold on to.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's just, it's so good.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's so good.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it's amazing too how God shows up in the midst of things, right when we need him, whether it's a big thing or a small thing.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's there for me to have that on my heart and to have these fears on my heart, and then to show up just by me randomly watching those podcast episodes with Philip Anthony Mitchell and hearing that, and then to have Psalms 23 be on my heart when I was sleeping.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then on top of that, this morning, I'm reading the Bible recap.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: And this is God's just divine providence and how omnipresent he is and everything and omniscient.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: Today's reading was in Luke 12 and 13.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And Luke 12, 6 through 7, I have brought it up here for you.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: It just comforts my heart so much.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: And just to know that, like this is what I'm reading, right in the middle of me preparing to travel and in the midst of my fear, Luke 12, 6 through 7.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: I know that scripture, but to hear it again, like it just, and that was I when you do the Bible recap, there's a part in the journal to give your God shot, which is like, where did you see God really show up in that scripture?
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: Where did it speak to you?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: His nature and his love for you.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, it was those words.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: The very hairs of my head are all numbered.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: He knows me and he knows me that intimately.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: He knows me that intimately.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: He cares for creation, he cares for the sparrows, how much more so me?
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then it goes on to say, do not be afraid.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: You are worth more than many sparrows.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: Do not be afraid.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: Does God speak that?
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: And for me to be reading that today of all days, he's just so good.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: He's so good.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: And in that scripture, also, and it's either Luke 12 or 13, where Jesus talks about don't be afraid of what men can do to you.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be afraid of that.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: Be afraid of not being in eternity with God.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, God's got us, you guys, whatever, whatever it looks like.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: He's got us.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: And he also, you know, in moments where we are fearful, we have to be reminded.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I remind myself that he is also the author and perfecter of our faith.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: He is the author.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: He writes our faith.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: He's the perfector of it, not us.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: And he knows all of our struggles.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: He knows that I'm fearful of flying.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: He knows how hard it is for me to get on that plane and to put those fears aside.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: He knows that.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: And he also knows when I get down on myself and think, like, what's wrong with you?
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: How could you still be afraid of this?
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: He knows those things.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: He knows my heart.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: And he is the author of my faith and he perfects it for me.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: So he knows where I fall short and he is willing to lift me up and the places that I fall down, but I have to bring it to him.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's constantly bringing it to him and surrendering that to him and giving it to him and asking him, maybe not to fix it to, but to walk with me through it.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that that is a game changer.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: That is a game changer to ask him into those moments instead of trying to run away from them.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, when you're really fearful or anxious about something to, and this is, I'm a work in progress on this.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: So don't get me wrong.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to think that I'm I'm good at this because I'm not, but I'm actively seeking the Lord to be better at it.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: But like to be able to sit in those places and invite the Lord into them, I think that changes everything.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm pretty sure I heard that in a podcast this weekend.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: So that's not me.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: Just I I don't want to have any pride here.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: I know that can be a struggle for me.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, but I I just I have that on my heart too.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's so important.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, I guess it's just like that question of what are we gonna choose?
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: What, what do we want our life to look like?
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: What, what, how, how do we want to show up for the Lord, for the people we love, for the people that we're called to serve?
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: Are we gonna let fear dictate what we do?
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and to just remember that like that fear is not from God and that God is overcome or like what's impossible with man is possible with God.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, for me to even go from not even be able to really step foot on a plane to being able to fly overseas says something about the bigness of God.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you're like, oh my gosh, oh you poor thing.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Gee, I feel so sorry for you that you have to get on a plane and fly overseas to see your son.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: I know that.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that it's such a blessing.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope I'm not, I know it's a privilege, and I hope this doesn't come across as like a poor brook and just such a silly thing that she has to worry about.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: But it is a struggle for me.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: It it is something that I've had to overcome.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I also am actively praying and reminding myself, like, because it does hurt my heart to think about here I'm living this a life where I am blessed to be able to travel with my husband, to get on a plane in freedom and to go to another country and spend a week with my son who is traveling abroad.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: What a blessing! The blessing of that.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't take that lightly.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, somewhere in my heart, I feel like it's a complete slap in God's face because I spend so much time being anxious and miserable about it.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: Where, like, who am I to be anxious and fearful about a blessing that God is giving me?
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I to do that?
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's that's a real struggle.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: I just have to give that to God.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that's again where I'm praying for a content spirit and to instead of thinking of all the things that could go wrong and all the fears that I have, or again, what people are thinking, to just be so grateful for what is and to step into actively step into the blessings and the opportunities that I get in my life and to lay down the fear and to choose to do that daily.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: But that is a choice, and that's a daily choice for me.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: I have to choose it daily because listen, God has delivered me from so much, and I can't even tell you the difference in me, even from just a year ago.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's incredible and remarkable.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I just I give the Lord all the praise for that because I know he's doing such a good work in me, but I'm also actively expecting that all of that fear to be taken from me.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I also remember I remember Paul and him praying, and I can't remember what book it might have been Romans or Acts.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure, you guys.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: I can look it up for you.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: I say that all the time.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: I can look it up for if you want, but you can email me and I'll look it up if you want.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: But where Paul is praying that he had a thorn in his flesh and praying to God many times.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: Let me look it up.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: I have to look this up for us.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I looked it up, it's 2 Corinthians 12 8 through 9.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it says this is Paul praying to the Lord.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, let's start at 7, 2 Corinthians 12, 7 through 9.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: So to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me, but he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I am reminded of that scripture.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and as much as I want to just not have fear or anxiety and to live a life that's all puppies and rainbows, and I know that God can completely heal my mind and take those things from me.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: I also think that there is something to be said for God, his strength being made perfect in our weakness.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: And when we are weak and when we are fearful, it's a chance for God to show himself strong in our life.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: And when we are weak and fearful, you know, maybe that's because God's keeping us dependent on him and he wants us to get out of our own way and to rid ourselves of ourselves or any pride or thought that we can do this life on our own because we can't.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: And if we weren't made aware of that, if we weren't made aware of our need for Christ and the humility that comes with that, we might miss out on the chance of his goodness and his grace.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so even though I've had some really dark, dark, dark, dark moments in my life.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: And even though there have been times that I've just been on my knees, like crying and begging God to show up and take my fear from me.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: And yet that fear remains, even though there have been times that it felt like torture, and I'm not being dramatic when I say that, I also take a step back from that and just honestly, I thank the Lord that if that's what it took for him to draw me to him, to show me that I can't do this life on my own, to keep me dependent on him, to have him show himself strong in my life, then I'm grateful for it because if I was living a life that was perfectly amazing and wonderful and I didn't have fears, and I'm talking about fears even I use the flying as a baseline, but fears that go well beyond that, and just thought thoughts and just anxiety and even some years of depression.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: If I didn't have that and I considered myself strong on my own, I maybe I wouldn't have never looked to God, and maybe I would never gone on my knees to him as I wanted to be, and maybe I would not be here now talking to you guys.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: God knows what we need to draw us close to him.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I hate to say, because I don't want to struggle or suffer, but I also have to say I'm thankful for that thorn that I have, and I'm still gonna pray for it to go away actively.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I know God's gonna show up and be with me on that plane and get me there safely and back.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm thanking him in advance for that answered prayer and for the peace that he can place on my heart and mind.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, God loves us enough.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna sound weird, but maybe, but I God loves us enough and wants us to draw near to him so badly that he will allow us to suffer.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I, and I know it breaks his heart when we do suffer.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: But if he was willing to have his only son come to earth and die the death that he did on the cross, then he loves us as much.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: And who are we to think that we are not also going to suffer on this earth?
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: But he's there with us in the middle of that suffering, isn't he?
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it's an opportunity for us to draw closer to him and to know him more and to step out on the other side even stronger and to step in and through those fears, like getting on that plane and getting to the destination and thoroughly enjoying the beauty of the world and the things that I'll see in time with my son and a new area that I've never got to be or explore.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not gonna happen unless I walk through that struggle and and stand up to that struggle and trust in the Lord and bring him along with me.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: But what's on the other side of that, what's on that side when I walk off of that plane is is joy and wonder and beauty.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like that in our life too.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that in our life too, but we have to be willing to go there with him and to bring him with us in our struggles.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that made sense.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: You guys, thank you so much for joining me for this conversation.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: I might be like I'm just stopping in the hard stop, but I could talk to you all day, but it's about time for us to end.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to thank you for showing up, for listening.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you have rated and reviewed the podcast, I appreciate that so much.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: Please, if you haven't already rated and reviewed the podcast, I would love it if you did.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: It does so much for our visibility and for growing this platform.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you like what you're hearing, or if an episode struck you or resonated with you, I'm sure it will resonate with somebody else you know.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: So please consider sharing it with them.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you check out the website www.thestillwell mom for the free Stillwell Starter Guide and for strong, steady rooted foundations.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: You can also follow along and connect with me on Instagram and Facebook at the Stillwell Mom.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, you don't have to do midlife alone.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: You can always choose stewardship over striving, and you can be strong in body, steady in mind, and rooted in faith.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.