Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / The FEEL Essentials: Living With Clarity, Alignment & Self-Trust

Transcript

The FEEL Essentials: Living With Clarity, Alignment & Self-Trust · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:12
  Hello, Melissa Crick here, host of the Feel podcast.
• 0:16
  Welcome to today's one-on-one empowerment time with me.
• 0:20
  Today we are talking about the Feel Essentials, those essential
• 0:25
  points that we share in the podcast with our guests and that
• 0:31
  are now available to you through this conversation and through a
• 0:36
  variety of resources. If you're needing further
• 0:40
  support in this. So we have this specifically, we
• 0:44
  have literally an online course called The Essentials, but
• 0:47
  there's also other ways to work with me on this.
• 0:50
  If you feel like you need more accountability through
• 0:52
  one-on-one empowerment sessions. The great thing about this is
• 0:57
  that it just gives you these points that you need to be
• 1:02
  checking in with yourself. So if you start feeling a little
• 1:05
  angsty or out of rhythm, or you're looking at your calendar
• 1:10
  and feeling some discomfort and not so excited about some
• 1:14
  things, if you're feeling wore out, it's time to go back to the
• 1:18
  essentials and check in with yourself.
• 1:20
  So I'm going to give you a quick snippet of those today.
• 1:23
  And then like I said, if you need more support, there'll be
• 1:26
  links in our show notes and on our resources page to get you to
• 1:30
  that support that you need. And that can simply start with a
• 1:34
  free 30 minute empowerment session with me to talk about
• 1:37
  what's going to best support you.
• 1:39
  But today I want to get these in your thinking and I have give
• 1:43
  you a chance to start implementing them into your life
• 1:48
  if you haven't already. So the feel essentials are
• 1:51
  comprised of these key questions, describing yourself
• 1:55
  by your character traits, describing and thinking about
• 2:00
  the activities that nourish you, thinking about how you want to
• 2:04
  feel in the next 6 months. But before doing that with the
• 2:09
  essentials, I'm going to invite you to get curious about your
• 2:15
  layers and really focusing in on the embracing layers journey.
• 2:21
  It's, it's taking a look with curiosity rather than judgment
• 2:26
  at all those pieces and parts that make up your story and
• 2:30
  checking in with yourself to see if there's any areas that you've
• 2:34
  got shame around that you have been stuffing or avoiding that
• 2:39
  you have tried to move forward from that haven't really
• 2:42
  processed some of what was left behind from that experience,
• 2:49
  from that time frame. And it's getting curious to see
• 2:52
  where that's still impacting you or not and how you can move
• 2:57
  forward with, you don't have to love it, but a more neutral lens
• 3:02
  on it. The ability to look at that,
• 3:04
  that event, that time period, that decision with, you know,
• 3:10
  given where I was at that time. I understand how I landed here
• 3:15
  or terrible things happen and this was not my fault.
• 3:21
  I did nothing to contribute to this.
• 3:23
  But I can move forward from this and I can heal and I can make
• 3:29
  decisions to ensure that this isn't going to hold me back.
• 3:33
  So it's it's really putting that curiosity lens, removing the
• 3:36
  shame, removing the judgement. And this part is so important,
• 3:40
  this layers part because we prioritize what we value.
• 3:45
  And if we don't value ourselves, we won't prioritize ourselves.
• 3:50
  We won't be the first things we put in the calendar.
• 3:53
  We'll be the first things we take out of our calendar.
• 3:56
  So that layers pieces really important part to dive into then
• 4:01
  those three questions that I referred to and then we move
• 4:04
  into how does this impact myself care daily in that in these
• 4:10
  activities that nourish me in myself care, am I looking at and
• 4:15
  taking into consideration my emotional, mental, physical,
• 4:20
  spiritual, sexual health? Am I seeing those connections
• 4:23
  there? Do I need to take some time each
• 4:26
  day to to write down all the emotions that I'm feeling or
• 4:31
  experiencing to ensure that I'm processing them?
• 4:35
  That I'm giving them space to breathe?
• 4:36
  That I'm acknowledging them? That I'm determining if the root
• 4:40
  of them is true or not? Or it's an old narrative that
• 4:44
  I've treated as truth that needs to be unlearned with some new
• 4:49
  practices relearned to help me move forward, move through and
• 4:53
  get to a healthier space with this.
• 4:55
  So the naming of the emotions each day can be really pivotal
• 5:01
  in giving them space to breathe, to make sure we're not living
• 5:04
  disassociated from our bodies, and really gives us some
• 5:07
  insights to what might need some attention.
• 5:10
  And the making these decisions helps us to then show up
• 5:14
  unapologetically. And what I mean by that is we're
• 5:17
  not apologizing for taking up space.
• 5:21
  We're not apologizing for things that aren't our fault.
• 5:25
  Just keep the peace not to ruffle any feathers.
• 5:29
  We're truly naming what it is we're accountable for, but also
• 5:35
  not feeling like we have to lead every time we need something for
• 5:39
  ourselves with. And I'm sorry.
• 5:41
  Oh, I'm sorry. I need more time here.
• 5:43
  No, Yeah, I need more time here. This is taken longer than I
• 5:48
  expected, so I need some more time.
• 5:51
  If you could please honor that, that would be great.
• 5:54
  Or let's talk about how we can work together on this.
• 5:56
  But it's not leading with an apology.
• 5:59
  And it it is understanding that so many times we as women live
• 6:04
  like we're an inconvenience or our needs are an inconvenience,
• 6:08
  but we don't treat others that way.
• 6:10
  We make sure there's those people we love and care about
• 6:13
  and are caring for are at the top of the list.
• 6:15
  But then we treat ourselves like an inconvenience.
• 6:17
  We're not going to do that anymore.
• 6:18
  So we're going to show up unapologetically and we're going
• 6:21
  to support other women in doing that as well.
• 6:24
  They're not our competition. Everyone wins.
• 6:29
  When one of us wins, we're going to make room.
• 6:31
  We're going to rise up together. When we see that woman getting
• 6:35
  interrupted continually, we're going to stop the meeting and
• 6:39
  say, hey, I don't think Charlotte was finished yet,
• 6:42
  George, let's let her finish those kinds of things.
• 6:45
  And we're going to support each other and we're going to see
• 6:48
  that importance of all of our voices being heard.
• 6:53
  All of our voices are necessary. Different people are going to
• 6:56
  connect with different voices depending on where they are in
• 6:59
  their life. And so removing that competition
• 7:02
  idea and realizing that to really move things forward for
• 7:05
  women, it's us coming together and honoring each other, being
• 7:09
  curious about each other's stories, asking how we can
• 7:12
  support each other, not assuming we know that.
• 7:15
  So, but this all starts with the other steps I've talked about.
• 7:19
  We're well resourced. We're taking care of ourselves
• 7:21
  well. We know our value.
• 7:23
  We're tending to all the parts of our health and seeing how
• 7:26
  they're connected. And through this lens, we get a
• 7:29
  real good idea of what our values are, what we care about,
• 7:33
  what our why is. And that leads us back to
• 7:36
  healthy boundaries. OK, I know what I need to
• 7:39
  nourish me. I know that there's some areas
• 7:42
  in my mental, emotional, physical, spiritual health that
• 7:44
  need to be tended to. I know what I value.
• 7:47
  So where do I need to set some healthy boundaries?
• 7:49
  Where do I need to say no? Where do I need to say yes?
• 7:54
  Am I taking to into consideration When I say yes to
• 7:58
  something, I'm saying no to something else.
• 8:01
  Am I OK with that? Am I giving myself 24 hours
• 8:05
  minimum to think about whether this thing fits in my life when
• 8:10
  someone asks something of me, going back and consulting my
• 8:13
  calendar, my team, myself, my family, whatever the case may
• 8:19
  be. So this gives you a really good
• 8:22
  lens into those values, why you're doing things where you
• 8:26
  need to set some healthy boundaries and seeing, OK, does
• 8:29
  that align? And that can give you a clue to
• 8:32
  where those, because you might think, Oh yeah, I'm living in
• 8:34
  alignment. And then you look at your
• 8:35
  calendar like, oh, wait a minute, this does not reflect
• 8:38
  what I value. This does not reflect what I
• 8:40
  need. This is does not reflect all the
• 8:43
  different aspects that need to be cared for.
• 8:46
  This is a reflection that maybe was accurate five years ago, but
• 8:49
  isn't accurate now. So again, this framework is here
• 8:52
  to support you to continue asking these questions as you
• 8:56
  move through different seasons in your life.
• 8:59
  When you're looking at am I living out of my own
• 9:02
  expectations or am I living out of others expectations, cultural
• 9:07
  expectations, what my expectations were a year ago,
• 9:11
  five years ago, 10 years ago? Am I honoring where I am today
• 9:15
  And do I need to communicate my expectations more clearly,
• 9:20
  communicate my boundaries more clearly.
• 9:23
  People are not mind readers, so we can of want to make these
• 9:28
  shifts that we have to clearly communicate them and that can
• 9:31
  really trip people up sometimes. So that might be where my online
• 9:35
  course or working with me one-on-one could really help
• 9:37
  you. We could work through a script,
• 9:39
  but I want to give you these today to try out for yourself
• 9:42
  because you might be surprised by asking yourself these key
• 9:45
  questions, how much it helps you take a look at some things and
• 9:49
  analyze some things and see recognize where some shifts
• 9:52
  might need to occur. And then we're looking at, as we
• 9:56
  live out, feel, finding empowerment, embracing layers,
• 9:59
  how we're feeling about ourselves, how that impacts our
• 10:02
  relationship with ourselves and how that impacts our
• 10:05
  relationships with other people. Are we surrounding ourselves
• 10:08
  with people and voices and places and spaces that support
• 10:13
  us, that want us to be well? Or are we surrounding ourselves
• 10:16
  with places and spaces and voices and people that just want
• 10:20
  something from us and they don't want us to shift or change
• 10:24
  because that makes life for them uncomfortable?
• 10:26
  It's very, and this can be sneaky and we don't always see
• 10:29
  it because this can occur in all kinds of different spaces.
• 10:33
  It can occur in your workplace. It can occur in your community
• 10:37
  spaces, your faith spaces, your family spaces, your home spaces.
• 10:42
  And so really taking a look at this and recognizing that once
• 10:47
  you know your own value, there are some non negotiables that
• 10:50
  you're no longer willing to tolerate or a land in your space
• 10:56
  anymore. And so you know, there may be
• 10:58
  some shifts again that need to happen there.
• 11:00
  By ensuring that you're surrounding yourself with people
• 11:03
  that care about you and also people that will that you trust,
• 11:08
  but will also challenge you when they see you getting off course
• 11:12
  or when they see you following a place or space or expectation or
• 11:17
  asks maybe isn't aligning with where you are now.
• 11:21
  Because it's can be easy to fall back into old habits if these
• 11:25
  things take practice. As we're shifting, as we're
• 11:27
  changing through different seasons and we want to make
• 11:30
  shifts that we, it takes time, it takes empathy, a lot of
• 11:34
  patience with ourselves, a lot of love.
• 11:37
  So having yourself surrounded by people, they're going to really
• 11:40
  support you in that and that you can support is really impactful
• 11:44
  and helpful. And so these are some really key
• 11:48
  components and things that you can consider as you're looking
• 11:53
  at where you are today. And when you, again, when you
• 11:56
  get a little angsty, you can go back to these essentials and
• 11:59
  start asking yourself some of these key questions.
• 12:02
  So you might ask, OK, who is this designed for?
• 12:06
  Well, it is perfect if you're ready to really begin the field
• 12:10
  journey on your own terms. We've been taught to define
• 12:13
  ourselves by what we do. The feel framework flips that
• 12:16
  script. It's about who you are and how
• 12:19
  you feel while you're doing it. And that is not selfish.
• 12:23
  Because again, we want people to remember our their experience
• 12:28
  with us as us being present, as being intentional, not feeling
• 12:35
  tired and ragged and irritable and distracted.
• 12:39
  And so by filling our own cups and making sure we're living in
• 12:42
  alignment and really applying these field principles to our
• 12:45
  life, then that it empowers us to be in that space
• 12:49
  intentionally the way we want them to remember their
• 12:53
  experience with us. They get the best version, the
• 12:55
  healthiest version of us and not the tattered, distracted,
• 13:00
  fragmented version of us. This is about success without
• 13:04
  betrayal, impact without burnout, power without apology.
• 13:10
  That's what living out field looks like.
• 13:13
  And so that is if you're ready for this, if this appeals to
• 13:17
  you, then let's get started with this together.
• 13:21
  Or if you're like, no, this is enough.
• 13:23
  This was the reminder I needed. No, these resources are there.
• 13:27
  Come back to our website. There's a multitude of resources
• 13:30
  you can look at on our resource forces page, on our podcast
• 13:34
  episodes, on our panel discussions, on our blogs or
• 13:37
  newsletters, as well as if you decide at some point you'll need
• 13:41
  a little more help from me, We've got the online course and
• 13:44
  we've got the one-on-one empowerment sessions.
• 13:46
  Or if there's a group, I can come speak to your group.
• 13:48
  And however, if it is, we can support your, we cover all the
• 13:52
  gamuts here. And so we want you to to be able
• 13:56
  to live out, feel unapologetically in a way that
• 14:00
  really helps you get in tune and alignment with yourself.
• 14:04
  And then you're inviting other women into it a well as well.
• 14:08
  We have a great book you can do as a book club together to help
• 14:11
  invite people into it. And again, these online courses,
• 14:14
  you can invite people into it, or you can simply share this
• 14:17
  episode today and say, hey, Melissa shared some really key
• 14:21
  questions that I think might be really supportive for you to
• 14:24
  consider as you're thinking about this new season.
• 14:27
  You're in this job change, the kids have gone off to college,
• 14:32
  this new relationship change, whatever it is.
• 14:35
  Or you don't have any changes, but you're just feeling stuck.
• 14:39
  You're just living comfortably but not curiously.
• 14:44
  You haven't felt any like growth or movement in a while.
• 14:48
  All these places and spaces is the right time to start asking
• 14:52
  yourselves these questions embodied in the field framework.
• 14:56
  Check out embracinglayers.com for all the support you need.
• 15:00
  Go to our show notes and resources page here to find
• 15:03
  links to this if you want more information.
• 15:05
  But hopefully this really got your attention and reminded you
• 15:09
  of some things that you need to continue asking yourself and
• 15:13
  that you can also share with others.
• 15:15
  Take good care of yourselves. Thanks so much for being with me
• 15:18
  today on the Field podcast. You are valuable, you are
• 15:21
  worthy, and you get to choose. We'll see you next time.
• 15:24
  Take good care.