Latest / What The Peri? - With Kirsten Cooke / The 3am Club - Perimenopause, SLEEP, and How to Get Your Nights Back (Ep 5)

Transcript

The 3am Club - Perimenopause, SLEEP, and How to Get Your Nights Back (Ep 5) · What The Peri? - With Kirsten Cooke

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to What the Perry.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host Kirsten Cook, personal trainer, menopause coach, and a woman living it right alongside you.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is the podcast for women navigating peri-menopause and menopause.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: The change you didn't ask for, but the conversations you need.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get into it.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: For years I was a fully paid-up member of what I've come to call the 3 a.m.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Club.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, it came at me from both directions.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Some nights I'd climb into bed absolutely exhausted, desperate for sleep, and just lie there.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Tired but wired, tossing and turning for hours while my brain flatly refused to switch off.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Other nights I'd drop off fine, and then like clockwork, somewhere around 3 a.m., my eyes would fly open and I'd be wide awake.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Not groggy awake, wired, heart pounding, mind racing, running through everything I'd forgotten to do that day, and everything I had to remember for tomorrow.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: The kids' school excursion, whose turn is it for show and tell?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: The permission slip that needs signing.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: The thing I absolutely cannot forget.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: At full volume, in the dark, while the whole house slept around me.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd lie there, sometimes for hours, watching the clock do that cruel thing where it creeps closer and closer to the alarm.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: So you start doing the maths.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: If I fall asleep right now, I can still get three hours, which of course absolutely guarantees you won't.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then the alarm would go off for my 5 30 a.m.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: class, and I'd get up and do it all again on literally nothing.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And some nights it wasn't even my mind keeping me up, it was my legs.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: The restless need to fidget and move them the second I got comfortable, rubbing them together to try and get some relief, or a cramp that jolted me awake out of nowhere.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: I did that for years, functioning barely on four or five hours of broken sleep, night after night after night.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the part that still gets me.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a personal trainer.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Nearly 30 years in health and fitness, I've spent my whole career telling other people to protect their sleep, that it's the foundation of everything, that you cannot out train it and you cannot out-eat it.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And there I was, running on empty myself.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, for a long time I did have an explanation for it, or I thought I did.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I told myself it was the kids, that years of getting up to little ones in the night had simply turned me into a light sleeper, and that was that.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And for a while that made sense, but here's what shifted it for me.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: It never got better.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: If anything, it got worse and it kept getting worse until long after the kids were sleeping through.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's when it stopped adding up.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was doing everything I tell my clients to do.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: The good habits, the wind down, the sleep hygiene, all of it.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And none of it was touching this.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're doing everything right and it's still not working, and it's still getting worse, something in you knows there's a real reason underneath.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't just a light sleeper.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: There had to be an actual cause.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And there was, I just didn't have a name for it yet.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And what no one around me ever picked up and what I genuinely didn't know for the longest time was that it was hormonal.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: It was as if my body had been quietly switched over to a whole new operating system that no one had told me about.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And the old settings that used to put me to sleep and keep me there simply weren't running anymore.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And once I understood that, once I understood the mechanism, everything started to change.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Not overnight, but it finally gave me somewhere to start.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: So that's today.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Why perimenopause takes a wrecking ball to your sleep.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: The real physiological reasons you're laying there wired at 3 a.m.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: What's actually happening in your body while you're awake.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then a proper toolkit, the things that genuinely help, from what you can change tonight all the way through to the ones worth talking to your doctor.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I promise you, not one bit of it is just have a warm bath and cut out caffeine.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm right in it with you on this one, still today.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get into it.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to What the Perry.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Kirsten Cook.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Last week we pulled apart hot flushes and night sweats, and right at the end I promised you this one, because sleep is where all of it lands.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't heard episode four yet, it's a lovely lead-in to today, so go back for it when you can.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the thing about sleep in perimenopause, it's one of the most devastating symptoms and one of the least talked about, because it doesn't just stay in the bedroom.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Poor sleep blends into everything, your mood, your weight, your brain, your patience, your recovering, your relationships.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: When you're not sleeping, nothing else in your health works the way it should.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Fixing your sleep isn't one item on the list.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's the thing that makes every other item on the list possible.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: So today, we're going to understand it and then fix as much of it as we can.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Let's start with why it falls apart in the first place.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: There isn't one reason your sleep falls apart in this transition.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: There are several and they tend to gang up on you all at once.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: So let me walk you through them because once you can name what's happening, it stops feeling like something you're doing wrong.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: The first we touched on last week, progesterone.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's your calming sleep-promoting hormone.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: It works on a system in your brain called GABA, the very same pathway that anti-anxiety medications and sleeping tablets work on.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: When it's healthy, it tips your nervous system out of go mode and into rest mode at night.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: It quietens the racing mind and helps you drop into a deep sleep and stay there.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of your body's own built-in sedatives, and it's very often the first hormone to fall in perimenopause.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the earliest signs of this whole transition, long before anyone mentions hot flushes, is simply that you stop sleeping the way you used to.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: You quietly lose your natural sleep aid, and nobody tells you that's what's happened.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: The second is night sweats, even the ones you don't fully wake for.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: You might not remember surfacing, but a flush pulls you up out of deep sleep over and over.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And every time it does, it fractures your sleep.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: So you can be in bed for eight hours and wake up feeling like you've been hit by a truck.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: The hours were there, but the quality wasn't.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: The third is estrogen.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: We talked a lot about estrogen last week, the thermostat behind your hot flushes, the night sweats, and the way its overnight dip can spike your cortisol.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: But there's one more thing it does, and it's all about sleep.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Estrogen helps regulate serotonin, and serotonin is the raw material your body uses to make melatonin, your sleep hormone, the one that tells your brain it's nighttime.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: So as your estrogen surges and falls, the whole day-night signal goes haywire.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: It gets harder to fall asleep and your sleep sits lighter.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's part of why you can feel utterly exhausted and completely wired at the very same time.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the fourth explains that specific horrible 3 a.m.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: wide awake feeling, cortisol.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's your stress hormone and it's meant to be at its rock bottom lowest in the middle of the night.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: But in perimenopause, partly the hormone shifts, partly the sheer stress of not sleeping.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: It can spike in the small hours when it should be flat.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a second trigger stacked on top.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: If your blood sugar dips too low overnight, your body fires off a surge of adrenaline and cortisol to haul it back up.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that surge yanks you awake.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's why you don't drift gently awake at 3 a.m.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: You come awake wired, heart pounding, switched fully on, as if someone flicked a switch.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's not anxiety you've invented.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's a physiological alarm going off.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And for a lot of us, there's one more, and it blindsides you because it doesn't feel hormonal at all.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like a problem with your legs.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Restless legs, that restless need to fidget and move them the moment you lie down, rubbing them together, trying to get some relief.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Some women get the night cramps too, those sudden seizing knots that rip you out of sleep.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now the cramps are common at this stage and honestly a bit of a mystery, so I won't pretend we've got them all worked out.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: But restless legs I do want to flag because it ties back to your hormones through something you'd never expect, your iron.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: That urge to move is driven by a dip in a brain chemical called dopamine, and dopamine needs iron to do its job.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: So when your iron runs low, restless legs often get worse.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the loop back to perimenopause.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is exactly the stage when heavy flooding periods quietly drain your iron, and falling estrogen makes you absorb it less efficiently on top of that.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a real link between your dropping estrogen and your iron.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And because low iron reaches so far beyond your sleep, into your energy, your hair, your focus, it genuinely deserves its own episode, and it's going to get one.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: For today, just know this.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: If restless legs are wrecking your nights, ask your doctor to check your iron, a marker called ferritin, which is your iron stores, because it's one of the most common and most missed pieces of this whole puzzle.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: So look at what you're actually dealing with.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Your built-in sedative has dropped away.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your sleep hormone is being disrupted.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're being woken by sweats you don't even remember.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Your stress hormone is spiking at exactly the wrong hour, and for some of you, your legs won't even settle.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Several separate things all conspiring against the same handful of hours.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: It is any wonder sleep got so hard.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: That was never you being bad at sleeping, that's your biology under siege.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Let me quickly explain what healthy sleep is supposed to look like because it makes the whole picture make sense.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep isn't one flat state you sink into for eight hours.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: It moves in cycles, roughly every 90 minutes, four to six times a night, and in each cycle you move through lighter sleep, down into deep sleep, and into dream sleep, which is called REM.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: The deep sleep is the gold.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's when your body does its physical repair, when your muscles recover and rebuild, when tissue is mended, when growth hormone is released, when your immune system does its housekeeping, and when the day's memories get filed away.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: And REM, the dream sleep, is when your brain processes the emotion of the day.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's part of why everything feels more manageable after a good night and more overwhelming after a bad one.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: You need both.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: They're not optional extras, they're the actual point of sleep.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what perimenopause does to that.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: It shifts you out of that precious deep sleep and keeps you up in the lighter stages.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: And lighter sleep is, by its nature, easier to wake from.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: So you become physiologically easier to rouse.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: A partner rolling over, a noise outside, a flush, a cortisol blip.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Things that once passed right through you now lift you straight out.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the bit that finally explains the timing.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Deep sleep is loaded into the first half of the night, the back half, the early hours, is much lighter and much fuller of dream sleep.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Which means by 2, 3, 4 a.m., you're already in the lightest, most wakeable sleep of your whole night, right when a night sweat or a cortisol surge or blood sugar dip is most likely to tap you on the shoulder.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's not a coincidence.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it's always 3 a.m.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: and not 11 p.m.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: The timing is built into how sleep is structured.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to really hear what this means because it's the reframe of this whole episode.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Your sleep didn't get worse because you got slack or undisciplined or stopped trying hard enough.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: It got lighter and more fragile because your brain chemistry changed.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: You're working with a completely different set of equipment than you had at 35.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: So of course the old rules aren't cutting it.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're not failing at sleep.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: The goalposts moved and no one told you.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: And before I hand you the toolkit, there's one more piece, and it's close to my heart because it's the whole reason I coach the way I do.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: We are not all built the same.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Your biology is not your best friend's biology, and it's not the biology of whoever wrote that sleep article you were reading at 2 a.m.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Some of us are genuinely wired to be early birds, up with the sum, sharpest first thing.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And some of us are genuinely wired to be night owls, slow to get going in the morning but properly alive at 9 or 10 at night.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: That isn't laziness and it isn't a bad habit you fell into.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's written in real part into your genes, into your own internal body clock.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's a whole field of science about this called chronobiology, and the short version is that your natural rhythm, your chronotype, is to a genuine degree something you're born with.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: I first talked about this back in episode three when I explained the epigenetic profiling I do with my clients.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Essentially the user manual for your own body, right down to your natural chronotype.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it matters enormously here, because if you're a night owl being forced to live an early bird's life, up at 5 30 a.m.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: for the gym or the kids or the commute, you're fighting your own biology every single day.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Your body is being asked to perform when its clock says it's still the middle of the night.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that mismatch doesn't just leave you tired.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: It strains your nervous system.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: It blunts your recovery and it drags on into your mood.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: It shows up everywhere, not only in your sleep.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is exactly why there's no one size fits all answer.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Not for sleep, not for your nutrition, your training, or the way you handle stress either.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Two women can follow the identical routine and get completely different results, because underneath, they're not the same.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: So as we go through the tools now, hold them loosely.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is never to obey a rule book, it's to work with your own body instead of against it.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever your life gives you a bit of room, and I know for a lot of us it doesn't give much, nudge your days a little closer to your natural rhythm.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're a night owl stuck living a lark's life, that's not a moral failing.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: It just means you have to be all the more deliberate with the tools we're about to cover, because you're swimming upstream and you deserve to know what you're doing.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Right, the toolkit.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give it to you in three layers the foundations, the targeted support, and the bigger levers, so you can start at the shallow end and weigh it in as far as you need to.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And let me be honest with you the same way I was last week.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: The foundations matter enormously, but if your sleep is being driven by a hormonal cause, the foundations alone probably won't fully fix it.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's not a reason to skip them, it's the ground everything else is built on.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's both, not either.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: So here they are, and they go a step past the usual advice.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Start with your body clock because two simple things set it.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: The first is the single most powerful lever you have, and it's the opposite of what everyone obsesses over.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: A consistent wake time, not bedtime, wake time.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Getting up at roughly the same time every day, weekends included, even after a shocking night, is the strongest signal you can send your body clock.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: I know that sounds brutal the morning after a bad one, but a wildly different wake time each day keeps your whole rhythm scrambled.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Chase the wake time, and the bedtime slowly starts to sort itself out.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: And pair it with morning light.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Get outside into natural daylight within about half an hour of waking, even 10 minutes on the balcony with your breakfast.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Morning light is what sets your cortisol and melatonin rhythm for the day.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: Cortisol up in the morning where it belongs, and melatonin timed to arrive that night.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's free and it's one of the most underrated sleep tools there is.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Then there's your bedroom, and this is really about temperature.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Keep it cool.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere around 18 degrees is the sweet spot.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're anything like me, the aircon isn't a luxury, it's survival.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Your core temperature needs to drop a little to fall and stay asleep, and a warm room fights that all night.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: And here's a lovely trick that uses the same rule in your favor.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: A warm bath or shower about an hour before bed.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds backwards warming up to cool down, but when you get out, your body temperature drops and drops further than it would have on its own, and that drop is one of the strongest signals there is to your brain that it's time to sleep.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: A warm shower into a cool dark room is a beautiful one too.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the evening, and I have to be straight about alcohol because it's the great false friend of perimenopausal sleep.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: A glass of wine feels like it helps you drop off, and it does at first, but it wrecks the second half of your night.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: It suppresses your dream sleep and fragments everything after about 2 a.m., which is already your most fragile window.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: So the very nightcap that helps you fall asleep is often the thing waking you at 3 a.m.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm not here to police your wine, I'm just asking you to notice the link, and maybe move it earlier or keep a couple of nights clear.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And while we're in the evening, bring the lights down.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Come off the bright overhead lights and onto low, warm lamps in the hour or two before bed, and ease off the screens.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Bright light late at night tells your brain it's still daytime and holds your melatonin back.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Additionally, if you can catch a few minutes of sunset light earlier on, even better, it helps buffer you against all of that.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: And a quick word on food and drink at the edges of the day.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Try to finish your last proper meal two to three hours before bed, but don't climb into bed genuinely hungry either, because remember that blood sugar dip that sets off the 3 a.m.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: wake up?
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: For some women, a small balanced snack before bed, a little protein and fat, nothing sugary, actually steadies the night.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: And caffeine hangs around far longer than you think.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Half of it can still be in your system five or six hours later, so you don't necessarily have to quit, just bring your cut off earlier.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: Try nothing after lunch and see what your nights do.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's the tool for the nights you wake anyway, because you will, no matter how perfect your evening was.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: So have something ready instead of lying there watching the clock and winding yourself tighter.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: And the best tool there is you carry with you everywhere, your own breath.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the thing that makes it work, in plain terms, it's the outbreath that calms you.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: A long, slow exhale flicks on the rest side of your nervous system and slows your heart rate right down.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: A quick, shallow breath does the opposite.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: So at 3 a.m.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: we breathe slow and we let the exhale be the star.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Back in the hot flushes episode, I had you breathing five seconds in and five seconds out.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that's still a lovely place to start.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: But to coax yourself back to sleep, stretch the exhale out even longer than the inhale, say four seconds in and six or even eight seconds out.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: The longer the exhale, the stronger the calming effect.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if you wake really wide, here's a quick one.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: Take a normal breath in through your nose, then right on top of it, a second short stiff in through your nose to fill your lungs right up, and let all of that go in one long, slow sigh out through your mouth.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Two or three of those, and you'll feel yourself drop down a gear.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Then once your breathing's slowed, add this, the two pair perfectly.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: Starting at your feet, gently tense the muscles for a few seconds, then let them go completely and feel them turn heavy.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Then your calves, your thighs, your tummy, your hands, your arms, your shoulders, all the way up to your jaw and your face.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Tense, release, and keep the breathing slow and long the whole way up.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds almost too simple, but it works because your body cannot be physically relaxed and wired at the same time.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: So when you walk your body into relaxation one muscle group at a time, your racing mind has to follow.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Very often you'll drift back off, and on the nights you don't, you've still given yourself real rest instead of two hours of frustrated tossing and turning.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: No app, no audio, nothing to buy, just your breath and your own body.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Layer two is targeted support.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is where the natural options come in, and I want to walk you through the ones with something behind them.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: Magnesium is the one I get asked about most, and for sleep the form that matters is magnesium glycinate.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about it last week.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's the calming form.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: It supports the same GABA pathway.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: It helps relax your muscles and settle you towards sleep.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: And most women tolerate it well in the evening.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's a sensible, low-risk one to look at first.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: Just don't confuse it with magnesium L3Nate, which is the brain and focus form for daytime.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: For sleep, it's glycinate in the evening.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Then there's Ltheanine, and it's lovely for the racing mind specifically.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: It promotes a kind of calm without knocking you out, so it's useful for that wired can't switch off feeling.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now you'll hear that it's found in tea, and it is, but here's the catch.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's in green and regular black tea, and both of those contain caffeine.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: So a normal cupper before bed is not what I'm suggesting.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: The caffeine would completely undo the point.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's not your chamomile or peppermint either.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: Those herbal teas don't contain it.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: For sleep, what you want is L-theanine on its own as a supplement, which is easy to find, and some women take it alongside their magnesium in the evening.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: And melatonin, but here's where I need to give you the Australian picture, because it's different from what you'll hear on the American podcasts.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: Overseas, melatonin is a supplement you can.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Off the shelf.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: Here in Australia, it's regulated by the TGA and it's largely prescription only.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's now a prolonged released version a pharmacist can provide for short-term use if you're over 55.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: But it's not something that you self-prescribe off the internet.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Interestingly, when it's used, lower doses tend to work better than the high ones.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Either way, melatonin is a conversation with your doctor or pharmacist, not a supermarket decision.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: And the same honesty applies here as always.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: The evidence on supplements is mixed.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: Natural doesn't automatically mean right for you, and none of these is a magic bullet sitting on top of a hormonal cause you haven't addressed.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: Run anything new past your doctor or pharmacist first, especially to check if it's safe alongside whatever else you take.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: And layer three, the bigger levers, the ones that go at the root.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: The first ties this whole series together, progesterone.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, it's your natural sleep hormone, and losing it is a big part of why you're awake.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: So for a lot of women, replacing it with body-identical, micronized progesterone taken at night is the single change that transforms their sleep.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: It works on that same calming GABA pathway, the natural way, and I've heard from so many women who do this that it was the turning point, the first thing that gave them their nights back.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to get into doses here.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's absolutely a conversation for a knowledgeable practitioner who can look at your whole picture.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: But I want you to know it exists, because if your sleep loss is hormonal, sometimes the answer is to actually address the hormone.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it isn't only progesterone.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: Cast your mind back to the start of the episode.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: A big part of the nighttime picture is your estrogen dipping overnight, driving that cortisol surge and setting off the night sweats that haul you out of bed.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: So estrogen is the other half of it.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same treatment we covered in episode three, and it's the most effective thing there is for night sweats.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: So it settles that side of it.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Fewer night sweats waking you, a steadier night.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: For a lot of women, HRT is actually both together: estrogen to calm the sweats and that overnight surge, and micronized progesterone at night for its direct calming sleep effect.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Which makes complete sets when you think about it, because the two hormones most tangled up in your broken nights are the very two that HRT replaces.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's right for you, as always, a conversation with a knowledgeable practitioner.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: The second big lever isn't a pill at all, and it might be the most powerful of the lot.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: CBTI, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's a short, structured, drug-free program that retrains the way your body and brain approach sleep.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: And the evidence is genuinely impressive.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's the gold standard first-line treatment for insomnia.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: It works as well as sleeping pills over the long term without any of the downsides, and there's good research showing it helps women going through menopause specifically, even when hot flushes are part of the picture.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the best part for us here in Australia is that you don't need to find a therapist and sit on a waiting list.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: There are structured online programs like This Way Up, built by an Australian clinical team that walk you through it from home.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're so sleep deprived that you're not functioning safely, a danger-driving, unable to do your job falling apart, please don't tough that out.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: See your GP.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: There are short-term options to break the cycle while you sort out the deeper causes.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Chronic sleep deprivation is not something to be stoic about, because the headline of this whole section is simple.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: There is a menu from a consistent wake time all the way to targeted hormones, and you're allowed to be anywhere on it, and to move along it as you need.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: You do not have to just cope.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I want you to actually do with all of this.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: Three things.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: Step one, pick your wake time and hold it.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: The same time every morning this week, even after a bad night, and get some natural light into your eyes within half an hour of waking.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: That one pairing does more than almost anything else and it costs you nothing.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: Step two, make your bedroom a sleep cave.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: Cool it down, get it dark, bring the lights and screens down in the evening, and take an honest look at the evening wine and whether it's helping you fall asleep but waking you later.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Pick the one change that fits your life and start there.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: Step three, if you've done the foundations and your sleep still isn't shifting, that's your signal that this is hormonal, not behavioral.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: Book the conversation and go in specific.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: Ask about micronized progesterone taken at night.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Ask about estrogen if night sweats are part of your picture.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: And ask about CBTI.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: Take your symptom diary with you.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: If the person in front of you can't have that conversation properly, find one who can.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: The Australasian Menopause Society directory at menopause.org.au is your starting point, and it's in the show notes.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: You are not asking for too much.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep is not a reward you earn for being good enough.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's a biological necessity and you're allowed to fight for it.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: As always, everything I've shared today is backed by research, and I've linked it all in the show notes.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to read it yourself or take it to your doctor, it's right there for you.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: Here's where I want to leave you today.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you've been laying awake at 3 a.m., wired to the ceiling, quietly convinced you've just become a terrible sleeper, you haven't.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: Your body has lost some of the machinery it used to use to keep you asleep.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Your stress hormone is firing at the wrong hour, and your sleep itself has become lighter and more easily broken.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: It is real, it is physiological, and this is the part that matters.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: A great deal of it is workable.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: Not with more willpower, with the right tools aimed at the right cause.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: You won't fix it all in one night, but you can start.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: A consistent wake time and morning light this week, a cooler, darker room, an honest look at the wine, a slow, long exhale breath, and a heavy body when you wake at 3 a.m.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if it's hormonal, a proper conversation about progesterone, estrogen, and CBTI.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: Layer by layer, you can get your nights back.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm slowly getting mine back, and I did not think that was possible for the longest time.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the truth I want you to hold on to.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep is not a luxury.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's the foundation every other part of your health is built on.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: If you're chronically sleep deprived, fixing this isn't item number seven on your list.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's item number one.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: Everything else gets easier once you're sleeping.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: Next week, we're going to the symptom that frightens women more than almost any other: brain fog.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: The forgotten words, the walking into a room with no idea why, the quiet terror that it might be something more serious.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: It is absolutely not early dementia, and I'm going to tell you exactly what it is and what to do about it.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's going to bring you a lot of relief.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: If today's episode helped you, please share it.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: Send it to the woman who you know is lying awake at 3 a.m.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: doing the math.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: And please subscribe and leave a review.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: For a show like What the Perry, it's the single best way to reach the women who need it.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you're here.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you next week.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Everything I've mentioned today is referenced in the show notes, along with all the links.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you can find me at Kirstencookcoaching.com.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: Just a reminder, though, this is education, not medical advice.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: So take these conversations to a practitioner who will actually listen to you.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here and for listening to the What the Perry podcast.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: The change you didn't ask for, the conversations you need.