Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / Ep. 67 Debunking Meditation Myths and Managing Stress (with special guest Brandi Wolf)

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Ep. 67 Debunking Meditation Myths and Managing Stress (with special guest Brandi Wolf) · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

• 0:00
  Erin Gray: You're listening to Generate a Life Well Lived P odcast.
• 0:02
  Erin Gray: I'm your friend and confidant, Erin Gray.
• 0:04
  Erin Gray: On this podcast, we will explore all things money, business and self-development, including human design.
• 0:10
  Erin Gray: I hope you enjoy the journey where I share everything that I know and am continuing to learn a long way as I honor my heart's desires while inspiring and encouraging you to do the same.
• 0:20
  Erin Gray: I have a quick favor to ask, as a listener of the show, if you find value in the content.
• 0:25
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• 0:28
  Erin Gray: I just want to thank you again for your support and for tuning in every week On the podcast.
• 0:33
  Erin Gray: Today, I interviewed Brandi Wolf, who is a master wisdom and meditation teacher, as well as the author of Meditation for the Modern Mind, a beginner's guide to stress relief and emotional wellbeing.
• 0:44
  Erin Gray: Brandy and I discussed the common misconceptions of meditation that a lot of us, I think, feel when we're starting in learning to meditate the five types of stress Some of it good, some of it we could probably choose to let go of that kind of stress.
• 0:58
  Erin Gray: What is the pineal gland and how to clear it, as well as different meditation apps that you can use and meditation for sleep.
• 1:08
  Erin Gray: My intention is to support you so that you can connect with your body, because I believe that our body is truly our greatest messenger.
• 1:16
  Erin Gray: So let's dive into today's episode.
• 1:18
  Erin Gray: Thanks, brandy, for being here.
• 1:20
  Erin Gray: So let's dive into the common misconceptions of meditation, if you want to highlight a little bit of like, because I think that there are so many, um, people that say I can't meditate, I'm too busy, all of that kind of stuff.
• 1:37
  Erin Gray: So I would love to hear your, what you hear from clients and, um, yeah, support that we can give to the listeners.
• 1:45
  Brandi Wolf: Absolutely so.
• 1:46
  Brandi Wolf: I think the first number one thing that I hear that is a common misconception about meditation is but I can't quiet my mind.
• 1:55
  Brandi Wolf: That's the very number one thing.
• 1:59
  Brandi Wolf: The chatter just doesn't stop.
• 2:00
  Brandi Wolf: So I can't meditate.
• 2:03
  Brandi Wolf: And that is I mean we all chatter.
• 2:06
  Brandi Wolf: It's the brain's job to chatter, it's it's function.
• 2:10
  Brandi Wolf: You know, it's like our heart's function is to beat.
• 2:12
  Brandi Wolf: So we just want to slow it down, like it's.
• 2:17
  Brandi Wolf: It's a nice way to think of it this way.
• 2:19
  Brandi Wolf: We want to lengthen the time in between the chatter and whether that's a millisecond, a second, two seconds, five seconds, a minute, two minutes, five minutes and so on, however short or long that is.
• 2:33
  Brandi Wolf: That's what we're trying to do is just lengthen that time in between that chatter till eventually, for very practice, cultivated meditators, it becomes a non-issue.
• 2:46
  Brandi Wolf: So you know, that's probably the first myth that I hear often.
• 2:51
  Brandi Wolf: The other one is I just don't have time.
• 2:53
  Brandi Wolf: Yes, I don't have time, but at the end of the day we make time for what's important to us.
• 2:59
  Brandi Wolf: So if self-care is important to us, we will make the time to do it.
• 3:05
  Brandi Wolf: And, um, you know, I just say start with five minutes, start with five minutes and then add a minute every week until you're at a desired level.
• 3:16
  Brandi Wolf: You know, if it stops at 10 minutes and that's all you got.
• 3:19
  Brandi Wolf: Perfect, do that.
• 3:20
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, do that until it grows.
• 3:23
  Erin Gray: I think a lot of people and I talk about this in the self-development world a lot it's like almost this idea that we have to go big or go home right.
• 3:29
  Erin Gray: Like this, you're not doing something and you want to start doing something, so you're like supposed to either be an expert at it immediately or you're supposed to be doing it.
• 3:39
  Erin Gray: You know air quoting for those of you listening, you know so perfectly which that doesn't exist either and it keeps us from just starting.
• 3:46
  Erin Gray: You know, I always say, just like start small start, simply like start right now, right.
• 3:51
  Erin Gray: And like you say, brandy, it's like, if you can, we all make time for things.
• 4:01
  Erin Gray: It's like we make time, we all have the same amount of time in the day, right, and in the beginning it's probably going to feel really uncomfortable.
• 4:04
  Erin Gray: I remember when I read um, dr Joe dispenses, breaking the habit of being yourself, and I sat down for that first time and I got up, but I at least sat down, right, and just that.
• 4:15
  Erin Gray: It's just like celebrate what you've done, not at looking at like how far you're, you're going to need to go, and like you say, just do five minutes, just do two minutes.
• 4:26
  Erin Gray: Like what is it that, like you know, makes you feel like I got to get up.
• 4:29
  Erin Gray: What is that?
• 4:30
  Erin Gray: What is that for you?
• 4:31
  Erin Gray: And then, like you say, just add the couple of, add a, add a minute every week, um to it, you know.
• 4:38
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, absolutely Absolutely.
• 4:40
  Brandi Wolf: And to meditation, especially when you're beginning.
• 4:43
  Brandi Wolf: Beginning it's just not all flowers and gumballs and stuff like it's.
• 4:49
  Brandi Wolf: You might feel some agitation from sitting there, because you're agitated, you're, those feelings are coming up for you, you know agitation, frustration, maybe some anger.
• 5:02
  Brandi Wolf: Those are unresolved emotions that are being carried around within ourselves and so those are very common, common things.
• 5:12
  Brandi Wolf: When you start meditating, to feel that's so good.
• 5:16
  Erin Gray: I'm so glad you mentioned that because I think you know we're we're taught like to feel the emotions and if you haven't worked with a practitioner or worked with someone of like to teach you how to actually feel that it's like that is a normal, like you said, like we think like it's going to be rainbows and daisies and we think that there's going to be this big aha and what.
• 5:36
  Erin Gray: We sit down and we're like I'm more mad than I am before I started, you know, and that's normal, right, that's normal.
• 5:46
  Brandi Wolf: It is.
• 5:47
  Brandi Wolf: I've cried many a tears through my meditation just to let, just to let things out, you know, like feel something, like let it be felt.
• 5:58
  Brandi Wolf: We are in a big society of stuffers, you know, and we all stuff emotions.
• 6:06
  Brandi Wolf: I mean, some people don't, but there's a lot of people that really are stuffers.
• 6:09
  Brandi Wolf: I'm one of them, you know, I'm a big stuffer.
• 6:11
  Brandi Wolf: And so there, when I was going through massive healing processes, there's lots of tears and sometimes they just come out and I'll think, wow, where did that come from?
• 6:23
  Brandi Wolf: Where I didn't even know.
• 6:25
  Brandi Wolf: I was still sad about that, even though that was still existing in my repertoire of emotions, and all of a sudden I'm bawling about something that happened 20 years ago.
• 6:36
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, you know, and it's just my body finishing processing, it's it's, it's over when it's over.
• 6:43
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, you know.
• 6:45
  Erin Gray: And I think the mind, too, wants to.
• 6:46
  Erin Gray: Some at least my mind wants to sometimes make sense of it.
• 6:50
  Erin Gray: Right, I remember when I first I was working more with like an embodiment coach, probably, and I remember asking her like why am I crying so much?
• 6:57
  Erin Gray: And she's like you've just had that much of what you're saying, right, repressing and stepping down.
• 7:02
  Erin Gray: This isn't a problem.
• 7:03
  Erin Gray: Like this is, this is amazing, this is wonderful.
• 7:05
  Erin Gray: Like this is what it's supposed to be, like it's fine.
• 7:08
  Erin Gray: And I think sometimes we want to be like, well, why am I crying?
• 7:10
  Erin Gray: Or why am I?
• 7:11
  Erin Gray: And it's just like, just allow yourself to feel whatever it is that needs to be felt, versus trying to go and chase and figure out what it is.
• 7:22
  Erin Gray: Versus just like sometimes it's just like, sometimes I just, you know, in the beginning I was like the tears are just there because I don't have the words to express what I'm feeling.
• 7:29
  Erin Gray: And it's just a release, you know, and allowing yourself to to have that and that's okay.
• 7:33
  Erin Gray: Yeah, totally, that's perfect, yeah, so let's talk about the five in your book.
• 7:40
  Erin Gray: Um, let's talk about the five main types of stress and which stress many of us actually live in.
• 7:46
  Erin Gray: And then how do we lovingly, you know, work to get out of it, and it's, it's a process, right Like everything.
• 7:53
  Erin Gray: I think first and foremost is all of us celebrating.
• 7:56
  Erin Gray: Where are we Right Like it's not a problem that we all live in this or, you know, most of us live in this area of stress.
• 8:02
  Erin Gray: And also, what are the ways that we can start being more aware and how to get out of that, so that we aren't in that type of stress, and what that's doing to our bodies?
• 8:13
  Brandi Wolf: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 8:14
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, stress is something that we are all just pretty much accustomed to feeling and doing.
• 8:19
  Brandi Wolf: We live in that state of mind which is fight or flight all day long, and so there's lots of.
• 8:27
  Brandi Wolf: There's different stresses.
• 8:29
  Brandi Wolf: Some of them are good, like good stress, which is one of them, and good stress is that kind of stress that helps us to get the job opportunity or the promotion.
• 8:38
  Brandi Wolf: It's that healthy level of you know, we didn't used to be able to run the four minute mile, but now we can.
• 8:42
  Brandi Wolf: You know it's't used to be able to run the four minute mile but now we can.
• 8:45
  Brandi Wolf: You know, it's just that achievement type of stress, where it makes us humans better.
• 8:51
  Brandi Wolf: That's good stress, you know.
• 8:54
  Brandi Wolf: There's a result from it and we feel really good afterwards, you know.
• 8:58
  Brandi Wolf: And then there's like routine stress.
• 9:00
  Brandi Wolf: Routine stress is going to be driving to work stress, getting the kids off to school stress.
• 9:06
  Brandi Wolf: Meal time can be a stressful time for a lot of families.
• 9:11
  Brandi Wolf: It just depends on the dynamics.
• 9:13
  Brandi Wolf: But that's a routine stress.
• 9:15
  Brandi Wolf: It's something that we experience every single day on a regular level.
• 9:19
  Brandi Wolf: And then we have acute stress.
• 9:22
  Brandi Wolf: This is something that happens very quickly.
• 9:25
  Brandi Wolf: So you are driving down the road on the way to the interview, you hit a speed bump and spill coffee all over your brand new press shirt and you have to go to this interview with coffee down your shirt.
• 9:38
  Brandi Wolf: You know it's something that happens super quick Flat tires, you know anything like that but it happens and then you can get over it.
• 9:46
  Brandi Wolf: It has not.
• 9:47
  Brandi Wolf: There's no lasting result from that kind of stress that we have, um.
• 9:52
  Brandi Wolf: And then there's chronic stress, which this is where it really starts getting sticky, because this is um love, career, life, like like situations where we view have no end.
• 10:06
  Brandi Wolf: You know insight, um, fighting, arguing, a job, a boss that we just can't stand.
• 10:13
  Brandi Wolf: You know those situations where we almost get physically ill.
• 10:16
  Brandi Wolf: We find ourselves wanting to avoid them, you know, and those are really debilitating because they keep us in a state of stress or fight or flight almost all day long, like we can't get any kind of reprieve from it, you know.
• 10:32
  Brandi Wolf: And then there's traumatic stress, and traumatic stress Like I will.
• 10:35
  Brandi Wolf: I can say that meditation is going to help all of your stresses, but traumatic stress actually needs additional help, because traumatic stress is something that happened 25 years ago, or maybe it happened yesterday, but it buries itself so deeply in your physiology that you keep experiencing the trauma from that moment.
• 10:55
  Brandi Wolf: For an example, I was teaching a class and a woman came up to me just in tears after the class and we went off to the side so she could tell me quietly what was happening and she was re-experiencing traumatic stress from 23 years ago of her getting in a near fatal car accident.
• 11:16
  Brandi Wolf: She is still experiencing the same level of stress from that moment.
• 11:21
  Brandi Wolf: You know, and that's what you need therapy, along with meditation.
• 11:26
  Brandi Wolf: It can't make meditation, can't just fix that, you know.
• 11:29
  Brandi Wolf: But those are the main five types of stress that you know we have.
• 11:35
  Brandi Wolf: When we start looking at how to dissipate that and remove it from our life, start looking at things that are super simple, like what can I actually control?
• 11:47
  Brandi Wolf: Mm, hmm, not much.
• 11:50
  Brandi Wolf: We can control how we react, how we show up and how we engage with the world, and that's it.
• 11:58
  Brandi Wolf: We cannot control anything else.
• 12:01
  Brandi Wolf: And the more we can get that into our forefront, the better we can handle these different kinds of stress.
• 12:09
  Brandi Wolf: How could I have handled the speed bump better?
• 12:12
  Brandi Wolf: Well, paying more attention, not drinking my coffee and looking out the window and driving.
• 12:20
  Brandi Wolf: You know, like I could have paid more attention than maybe that would have happened, would not have happened, you know, and we could have avoided that point of stress and also realizing that our thoughts are just thoughts.
• 12:31
  Brandi Wolf: We have 60 to 80,000 of them a day, so that is a thought every 1.2 seconds, and so a lot of stuff happening in between our noggins here.
• 12:46
  Erin Gray: Like a lot of those thoughts don't even like we're not even registering them.
• 12:49
  Erin Gray: It's not like you're thinking, oh, I need to, like, get my toothbrush and put my toothpaste on the toothbrush and then put it in my mouth, like that'll just.
• 12:56
  Erin Gray: Your body just does that, right, because your brain would be so exhausted even more than it already is If you had to.
• 13:03
  Erin Gray: You know.
• 13:03
  Erin Gray: So your body does that to help you, right?
• 13:06
  Erin Gray: Like it minimizes some energy, it does some of that stuff for you, um, but still it's.
• 13:11
  Erin Gray: Even even our conscious, aware thoughts are still a lot of thoughts.
• 13:15
  Brandi Wolf: Oh yeah, they are.
• 13:16
  Brandi Wolf: There is a ton of stuff happening and there have been studies done on these thoughts.
• 13:21
  Brandi Wolf: Like 80% of them are negative and 90% of them are repetitive.
• 13:26
  Brandi Wolf: I mean, there have been studies done all over these thoughts.
• 13:30
  Brandi Wolf: So when we start realizing that and where stress comes from like stress comes from ruminating on yesterday or having anxiety for tomorrow.
• 13:40
  Brandi Wolf: Yesterday is gone and tomorrow's not here.
• 13:43
  Brandi Wolf: The only moment we have is right now and we get to choose how to live that moment.
• 13:48
  Brandi Wolf: And so when we really look at that and look at what we control, that is a huge way of how we can challenge it, and I'm not saying that it's easy.
• 14:00
  Brandi Wolf: I mean I've been going through things this summer that have been a lot heavy on my mind, but I know I handle them better now, today, with my decades of meditation behind me, than I did 25 years ago.
• 14:17
  Brandi Wolf: I would have been a hot mess, you know.
• 14:20
  Brandi Wolf: So it it does make a difference when we take that time to visit ourselves in stillness and silence.
• 14:26
  Erin Gray: Yeah, I don't remember what book it is in and if I can go back and find it I'll put it in the show notes.
• 14:31
  Erin Gray: But they were talking about thought addiction and I was like, oh my goodness, that is such a good, because I would probably say I have thought addiction.
• 14:40
  Erin Gray: I mean, I'm sure probably a lot of us do.
• 14:41
  Erin Gray: Right, if you notice those same thoughts that are so repetitive and on a repeat and notice when that thought comes up like a lot of time I've noticed it's it always comes back to money, typically, or something about me not being the best mom.
• 14:55
  Erin Gray: Those are two of like the favorite ones that it likes to serve up to me.
• 14:58
  Erin Gray: And, um, just recognizing, like when I'm having fun, when I'm like in almost a higher vibration, that thought comes in to try to be like, almost like, keep me back in line, right.
• 15:09
  Erin Gray: Like hey, hey, we're having too much fun, we're expanding too much, you know, we're enjoying ourselves too much, and it and it brings it back in Right.
• 15:16
  Erin Gray: And for so many years I believed that, versus what Brandy's saying is like I mean, and I've heard like 96, 98% of our thoughts, they're not even our thoughts Like, like those beliefs came from someone parents, caregivers, society, school, wherever Right, and just recognizing, like stopping and being, like wait a second, is this even?
• 15:36
  Erin Gray: How does this?
• 15:36
  Erin Gray: You know, I don't like to ask is this true anymore, because sometimes in my body it feels very true to me, right, but asking you know, does this, does this thought serve me?
• 15:47
  Erin Gray: Does this actually fuel my expansion or does this make me feel more contracted?
• 15:51
  Erin Gray: So, asking yourself some empowering questions, when that thought or thought addiction comes you know up to, to give yourself some like what Brandy's saying is like some space, or like their, their thoughts are like clouds in the sky, that kind of just go, you know, just buy.
• 16:07
  Erin Gray: Like which ones do we want to grab onto?
• 16:08
  Erin Gray: And like you know that one with like I'm not a great mom is not one that I like to continue, right.
• 16:17
  Brandi Wolf: No, I feel you, I mean, and you know some of it is understanding our ego and like what our ego is for, and that it gets bored, yes, and so, in order to give it something to do, it creates problems.
• 16:34
  Brandi Wolf: You know it creates problems, like our ego is to help keep us clothed, fed and out of danger.
• 16:41
  Brandi Wolf: But because that is no longer an issue, because we can go to Walmart and be clothed, fed and out of danger relatively quickly, you know our, our ego, it gets bored, it needs something to do so.
• 16:56
  Brandi Wolf: By giving you something to worry about, it's now protecting you.
• 16:59
  Brandi Wolf: Oh, don't worry, I got you, you know, I got you.
• 17:02
  Brandi Wolf: I'm protecting Now.
• 17:03
  Brandi Wolf: I'm protecting her, I'm protecting him.
• 17:05
  Brandi Wolf: You know, whatever it is, ego is responsible for a lot of that stuff.
• 17:10
  Brandi Wolf: We need it and it's good to have understanding it.
• 17:14
  Brandi Wolf: I think will be a never ending human journey.
• 17:18
  Erin Gray: Yeah for sure.
• 17:19
  Erin Gray: Yeah, I, I, and it helped when I um, it was actually like a CPA book I was reading and he was talking about how, um, it's almost like our, our ego or our brain, you know, mind is like a dog that needs, like a chew toy.
• 17:32
  Erin Gray: It's like, what are those thoughts that we have that it just wants to chew on?
• 17:39
  Erin Gray: So let's just give it something else to chew on, like what are more empowering thoughts?
• 17:43
  Erin Gray: Or, you know, um, I don't want to say affirmations or, but you know, just thoughts that you want to kind of really practice, more so than the one that that your brain is automatically serving up, right?
• 17:53
  Erin Gray: So, if so, if, if our brain or our ego wants to, to give us thoughts, let's give it.
• 17:58
  Erin Gray: Let's give ourselves the thoughts that are going to feel good, that are going to empower us, versus keep us in this, this loop.
• 18:07
  Brandi Wolf: I use affirmations actually for that and mantras I do both.
• 18:10
  Brandi Wolf: If I'm having a repetitive thought that won't leave me and even a silly song that won't give out of my head, I'll start going into affirmations and mantra.
• 18:22
  Brandi Wolf: That's not what I want to think about.
• 18:23
  Brandi Wolf: That's not what I want to hear.
• 18:25
  Brandi Wolf: I would rather focus on this instead.
• 18:29
  Brandi Wolf: And it's amazing, because you're retraining your brain.
• 18:32
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, you're retraining it.
• 18:33
  Brandi Wolf: No, no, no, no.
• 18:34
  Brandi Wolf: Not this that over here you know and creates new neural pathways.
• 18:40
  Erin Gray: Yeah, can you talk just a little bit about the difference between affirmations and mantras?
• 18:46
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 18:47
  Brandi Wolf: So they're pretty similar.
• 18:49
  Brandi Wolf: You know, affirmations and mantras are fairly similar, but a mantra is specifically a mind vehicle.
• 18:56
  Brandi Wolf: That's what it translates to.
• 18:58
  Brandi Wolf: Mantra is a Sanskrit word, which translates to mind vehicle, and so you're giving yourself something to keep your mind busy.
• 19:07
  Brandi Wolf: You know, sanskrit is most traditionally mantra when you're talking about meditation, but that is not to exclude all the other beautiful mantras that are out there in many different languages.
• 19:20
  Brandi Wolf: It's just for this purpose.
• 19:23
  Brandi Wolf: Mantra is traditionally a Sanskrit term that we use, and so those Sanskrit terms, what's so nice about them?
• 19:32
  Brandi Wolf: We can know what they mean.
• 19:32
  Brandi Wolf: We can know what they translate mean.
• 19:33
  Brandi Wolf: We can know what they translate to.
• 19:35
  Brandi Wolf: We can know all of that stuff.
• 19:37
  Brandi Wolf: Excuse me, but because it's not in a first language, we can disconnect from the meaning of it a little bit more and connect deeper into the vibration of it, and that makes a huge difference.
• 19:57
  Erin Gray: So you want to dive into pineal glands and yeah, like I want to talk more about like, if you can explain, like what is cause.
• 20:06
  Erin Gray: I know it from reading, dr Joe.
• 20:08
  Erin Gray: But, like our pineal gland, what is it for?
• 20:11
  Erin Gray: How does it get blocked or clogged or what?
• 20:14
  Erin Gray: I would just say, not in its highest use?
• 20:17
  Erin Gray: And then how can we?
• 20:18
  Erin Gray: What are things that we can do that can help clear it and be able to use it for what it's, what it's meant for?
• 20:27
  Brandi Wolf: So the pineal gland can be clogged in a lot of different ways.
• 20:31
  Brandi Wolf: So it is our third eye, so it's also our chakra.
• 20:36
  Brandi Wolf: Our third eye chakra is what it's related to.
• 20:39
  Brandi Wolf: This is the closest point to it, since it's in the middle of our head.
• 20:42
  Brandi Wolf: It can get blocked from calcification, not drinking clean water, fluoride, fluoride from your toothpaste, fluoride from your water all that kind of stuff I mean chemicals.
• 20:57
  Brandi Wolf: It's actually a crystal.
• 20:59
  Brandi Wolf: There's a crystal in there and there's little hairs on the outside of it.
• 21:03
  Brandi Wolf: And if you've ever had a vision or dreaming anything like that, that is being stimulated by your pineal gland, by your pineal gland, and so it can get blocked energetically too.
• 21:19
  Brandi Wolf: So there could be so many reasons for that.
• 21:20
  Brandi Wolf: I mean it's our third eye, part of our humanness can block it.
• 21:23
  Brandi Wolf: I mean so people that are psychic or mediums or you know something like that.
• 21:29
  Brandi Wolf: They don't have their filters on.
• 21:31
  Brandi Wolf: Their filters are gone, and so their third eye is wide open.
• 21:35
  Brandi Wolf: You know they can see a lot of things, they can receive a lot of things, and they've been able to harness it in that way.
• 21:43
  Brandi Wolf: But for most humans that's a little bit of a challenge to be able to do that.
• 21:48
  Brandi Wolf: But accessing your third eye.
• 21:51
  Brandi Wolf: You can do a lot of things for that breath work is incredible for your third eye, which is your pineal gland.
• 21:58
  Brandi Wolf: Pineal gland, however, we want to say it, um, breath work actually, when you take those long, slow, deep breaths in, you hold at the top of your breath and then you release it and you let it out and you continue to do that, it starts having a stimulating effect on your pineal gland.
• 22:20
  Brandi Wolf: You know.
• 22:21
  Brandi Wolf: And to vision, when you visualize, like this is your vision, we're visualizing, visualizing it open, visualizing light from you know the divine source coming down into your pineal gland not too much, you know, you don't want to give yourself a headache, but you know, if you can visualize it coming in and then out to your third eye, it's like you're cleansing it.
• 22:46
  Brandi Wolf: You're bringing in light, letting it go out your third eye so it's being able to go somewhere, so you don't let too much in because it can give you a headache.
• 22:55
  Brandi Wolf: But those are all ways you can stimulate that Meditating in stillness and silence and concentrating like you're.
• 23:05
  Brandi Wolf: When I say concentrate, it's not like you're, like I'm concentrating on this, it's a gentle concentration on your third eye.
• 23:14
  Brandi Wolf: You can even start feeling it tingle.
• 23:17
  Brandi Wolf: You can feel the energy, because where attention goes, energy flows, and so going into just a meditation and gently like kind of pulling your eyes up to look at your third eye with your eyes closed, is another way to help stimulate that energy.
• 23:34
  Brandi Wolf: That is right there.
• 23:36
  Brandi Wolf: Um, if those are all techniques, that you've been doing and you're still finding that you feel like you're blocked there.
• 23:42
  Brandi Wolf: It would be helpful even just to go in for some Reiki, because they'll be able to tell you if that is slow, running backwards, you know, or if there's something there that feels like a block.
• 23:55
  Brandi Wolf: A lot of times Reiki practitioners can feel that and see that, and then you would need to go a step further, based upon what they say, if it was still blocked, you know, to get some help in clearing that energy, you know.
• 24:09
  Brandi Wolf: So it can be a little bit more open.
• 24:12
  Erin Gray: It's interesting because sometimes people will say, like the, the visualization or the imagination, um of like not able to do that, and I think everything kind of goes back to a practice, right, like, how much practice, how much time?
• 24:29
  Erin Gray: And we're we are imagining, we are already visualizing, right, cause, if you worry, you are visualizing, you are imagining, right.
• 24:35
  Erin Gray: So we, we have this gift already.
• 24:37
  Erin Gray: It's just awareness of noticing, like, how are you using it?
• 24:42
  Erin Gray: Are you using it for thinking about what you want to create, what you want to have, who you are and you know are becoming?
• 24:49
  Erin Gray: Or or are you using it for worry and for, or, like you said, looking at the past and thinking about the past and replaying that same you know story over and over again?
• 24:59
  Erin Gray: So, spending some time, giving yourself some time to like play with this and, like I always say, I'm not when I start, right, it's not, it feels uncomfortable, it feels weird, and we want to ask and we want to know am I doing it right?
• 25:15
  Erin Gray: And I've always heard, I love it, your thoughts on this, brandy of like there is no right or wrong, right, like you're just sitting down and you're, and you're just being with yourself and you're, you're becoming more present.
• 25:28
  Erin Gray: You're getting to know your body, you're getting to be connected and just allowing and knowing that, like if, if every one of us when we sat down and there's walking meditations too, right, like there's all different types, but if we did it and when we thought it was just perfect for us in the time that we did it the way that we did it and we got exactly what we needed out of that.
• 25:50
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, no, absolutely.
• 25:52
  Brandi Wolf: I totally agree.
• 25:53
  Brandi Wolf: There is no right or wrong way to do meditation.
• 25:56
  Brandi Wolf: Now, if you were talking to somebody who is like a Buddhist monk, they might say no, but for all our intents and purposes, just beginning with something that helps you to disconnect and just be present in that moment, I mean, I even like to encourage people to do present moment activities, like what is it that you do that keeps you so present that time flies, that you do that keeps you so present, that time flies?
• 26:30
  Brandi Wolf: You know, for me it's art, like when I do pastels or paint or something like that.
• 26:32
  Brandi Wolf: I'm, I can get sucked into that and all of a sudden, six hours have passed.
• 26:35
  Brandi Wolf: I'm like, you know, because I've been so in the moment, time no longer matters, I'm just in this space of being present.
• 26:44
  Brandi Wolf: That's really what we're wanting to give our brains a break from, because it's like restorative.
• 26:50
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, you're awake, but now you've been so present in your moment, you are now restored, like after meditation.
• 26:58
  Brandi Wolf: Some people will say, well, I always fall asleep in meditation and the first thing I say is well, you're probably not getting enough sleep.
• 27:06
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, I'm like probably, you're probably tired and your body needs it.
• 27:10
  Brandi Wolf: But try shortening it.
• 27:13
  Brandi Wolf: Try changing your position, you know.
• 27:16
  Brandi Wolf: Try sitting outside, you know.
• 27:18
  Brandi Wolf: Try using a mala bead, try using a mantra, you know.
• 27:21
  Brandi Wolf: You know, switch it up.
• 27:22
  Brandi Wolf: If one way always makes you fall asleep, switch it up so you can remain in that awakened state, in that present moment, in that present moment, with permission, because we rarely give ourselves permission to do that.
• 27:38
  Brandi Wolf: We give ourselves permission to do everything else but sit in stillness and silence and just be, just be.
• 27:47
  Brandi Wolf: You know, and that is a very restorative practice.
• 27:50
  Brandi Wolf: So there is no right or wrong way.
• 27:52
  Brandi Wolf: Comfort is queen.
• 27:54
  Brandi Wolf: I mean, if, if you've gotten to a place in your meditation practice where you want to up-level and you want to sit in that hard chair and you want to sit with your back perfectly straight, you want to sit on that hard rock, you know you want to do those things, great, that is where you are at, meet yourself where you are at.
• 28:12
  Brandi Wolf: But if you are still in the phase that you want to sit in a comfy chair, do it.
• 28:16
  Brandi Wolf: If you need to lay down, do it.
• 28:19
  Brandi Wolf: You know it's more about just starting and giving yourself that kind of restoration.
• 28:25
  Erin Gray: Yeah, so for those that are starting cause, when I started and I still do it I use insight timer as an app that does some guided meditation.
• 28:34
  Erin Gray: So what are some of your suggestions for people that, uh, want to use meditation apps and you know things of that sort?
• 28:41
  Brandi Wolf: I think they're wonderful.
• 28:43
  Brandi Wolf: I love meditation apps.
• 28:44
  Brandi Wolf: I love insight timer.
• 28:46
  Brandi Wolf: I use it all the time and one of the reasons why I use it is because I like nature sounds while I meditate.
• 28:52
  Brandi Wolf: I like to be by an ocean here in Idaho or listen to a river and a fire or something like that.
• 29:01
  Brandi Wolf: But insight timer is wonderful.
• 29:03
  Brandi Wolf: It has hundreds of thousands of free meditations on it, or and I'm not paid by them or anything, I just think it's an awesome app, um, or there's a paid version that you can access even more on there, and there's courses, there's classes, but then there's like headspace that's on there, or a different app that's called headspace.
• 29:21
  Brandi Wolf: That one's really awesome.
• 29:24
  Brandi Wolf: There's lots of free meditations out there on YouTube.
• 29:26
  Brandi Wolf: I have free meditations out there on YouTube.
• 29:30
  Brandi Wolf: I mean there are, just they're, they're so, they're so accessible.
• 29:34
  Brandi Wolf: Now I mean there's even free meditations from, like um, um, buddhist monks, from yogis, you know, from all of these people.
• 29:45
  Brandi Wolf: Gurus, yogis, all these people all over the world have been putting these out because you know it has such a profound effect.
• 29:53
  Brandi Wolf: So, yeah, I love apps and I love YouTube university too.
• 29:58
  Erin Gray: Yeah, I love YouTube university too as well as long as they don't have ads.
• 30:03
  Erin Gray: I have used some where I'm in the middle of a meditation.
• 30:06
  Erin Gray: I didn't realize it was this person.
• 30:08
  Erin Gray: So just make sure, if you're subscribed to their channel or you're listening, that they don't have ads.
• 30:13
  Erin Gray: Because talk about frustration when you're in a meditation and then you hear, and then the volume changes and we're like having an ad about something and you're like I agree, yeah, I know.
• 30:26
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, no, I know, yes, make sure, but mine should not have ads.
• 30:29
  Brandi Wolf: None of them are set up to have ads, so they're just resources for people.
• 30:33
  Brandi Wolf: But, yes, I, I am with you on that.
• 30:36
  Brandi Wolf: Nobody wants to hear an ad and that's why insight timer is nice, because you can just go in there and play whatever you want and and it's there uninterrupted.
• 30:46
  Erin Gray: So in in with with the app.
• 30:49
  Erin Gray: Sometimes actually, I don't know she was my daughter, was man.
• 30:53
  Erin Gray: We probably did insight timer three, four, I don't know, um and and did the like for sleep.
• 31:02
  Erin Gray: For her it was almost kind of like it was um, it was yoga Nidra for sleep, but it was definitely more so like a body scan, and it's interesting because she would stay awake for most of it and she could recite it Like she knew what, uh, the lady that was that did it was.
• 31:19
  Erin Gray: Her name is Jennifer Piercy and she would know when Jennifer was talking about like it was a full body scan, I would fall asleep Like I don't even know if I've ever been through one whole episode or one whole meditation of of hers.
• 31:34
  Erin Gray: I'm going to sleep, but I wanted to know or your thoughts on like meditations for sleep or like what can we do, Because so many of us are attached, which that's one of the things I want people to like how do we get deep, you know?
• 31:46
  Erin Gray: Like detach from our phones, really, like giving yourself an hour ish before you go to bed, like winding down, like what is your?
• 31:54
  Erin Gray: You know, thinking about your nighttime ritual, and then also meditation for sleep.
• 31:59
  Erin Gray: Tell us a little bit about like what you suggest for people.
• 32:02
  Erin Gray: Yeah, Kind of wind down into yeah, for for sleeping, meditation wise.
• 32:07
  Brandi Wolf: Meditation for sleep is awesome, so I teach it in an addiction facility every week and, um, people that are going through treatment have a really hard time sleeping, and so this is a common thing that we talk about.
• 32:22
  Brandi Wolf: Um, when I am there is how do I go to sleep at night?
• 32:26
  Brandi Wolf: I was really struggling, and there's two things I always suggest, and one of them is progressive muscle tension, um, and that is where we take deep breaths in while we tense a piece of our body, basically.
• 32:42
  Brandi Wolf: So like starting with our toes, starting with our feet, and then we hold it and we hold it tight for five seconds and then we release it and we release the flex.
• 32:53
  Brandi Wolf: That really helps because it's like it's helping our body to express energy and to release tension.
• 33:01
  Brandi Wolf: That is there because sometimes we have that tension.
• 33:05
  Brandi Wolf: I mean, the body keeps the score right.
• 33:08
  Brandi Wolf: The body keeps the score from all of our day, from all of our emotions, everything we've ever done in our entire life.
• 33:14
  Brandi Wolf: The body is holding on to some kind of piece of energy from that moment, you know, and and including our day, and so when we can go through that and take some nice big oxygenated breath in and get that tension in there and then release it.
• 33:30
  Brandi Wolf: It helps our body to wind down.
• 33:34
  Brandi Wolf: That whole process of going through your whole body like that should only take about 15 minutes, and so it's an easy practice to do, it's an easy thing to add into your nighttime routine.
• 33:46
  Brandi Wolf: And another thing to do with that is if you've experienced a lot of tension or like we all have places in our body where we know that we hold emotions Like for me it's right in between my shoulder blades, you know, that's where I hold mine.
• 34:03
  Brandi Wolf: When I get to that place and I'm tensing it and I'm breathing in, I imagine the tension coming out as dark smoke, you know, because it's like just I just visualize that releasing, and sometimes I do it a couple of times, and you'll notice that, as you keep imagining that, the smoke starts lightening up because the tension is leaving.
• 34:28
  Brandi Wolf: It's leaving your body, you know, and so that's something that I really like to do with that practice too.
• 34:35
  Brandi Wolf: And then, after you know that if somebody wants to do two things, one or the other, I would suggest the progressive muscle tension first before a body scan, because oftentimes during a body scan you do fall asleep, you know.
• 34:49
  Brandi Wolf: But then start with a body scan or just do the body scan.
• 34:53
  Brandi Wolf: Body scans are amazing.
• 34:54
  Brandi Wolf: They're like a massage for your energy.
• 34:57
  Brandi Wolf: You know, it feels so good because we don't really think about it like that.
• 35:03
  Brandi Wolf: And I really like to use white light with my body scans and I imagine a ball of white light starting at my feet, at my toes, and just slowly starting to envelop me, you know, and that feels so good.
• 35:19
  Brandi Wolf: And we can use different colors of light.
• 35:22
  Brandi Wolf: I mean, white light is just a pure, peaceful light.
• 35:25
  Brandi Wolf: A golden light could be perceived as more divine, more angelic.
• 35:30
  Brandi Wolf: If we need more love, if we're needing more love, energy, a deep, beautiful green, emerald green, or if we're feeling we need protection, a nice cobalt blue.
• 35:41
  Brandi Wolf: You know, I mean we can use different colors of light to enhance our body scan, to help soothe our emotions even further.
• 35:51
  Brandi Wolf: You know, and body scans you can go as quick or as long as you want with them.
• 35:56
  Brandi Wolf: You can make it do any like if you don't have a lot of time or you feel like you're really tired but you just want to fall asleep gently.
• 36:04
  Brandi Wolf: You know, maybe you just kind of do a 10 minute one, but you can make a body scan last like 20, 30 minutes if you want to.
• 36:10
  Brandi Wolf: You know it's just.
• 36:12
  Brandi Wolf: It's up to you as the person.
• 36:15
  Brandi Wolf: All meditations are guided.
• 36:16
  Brandi Wolf: We're either guiding ourselves or we're listening to somebody else guide us, you know.
• 36:22
  Brandi Wolf: So we can control that and do it how we, how we want.
• 36:27
  Brandi Wolf: I, I that's how I started meditating is through body scans as a teenager and it was to stop the chatter in my mind.
• 36:36
  Brandi Wolf: I I had insomnia really for the first half of my life.
• 36:39
  Brandi Wolf: I did not sleep very well and body scans were that tool that significantly changed for me and changed that sleeping pattern for me and helped me go to sleep.
• 36:50
  Brandi Wolf: I mean, I got so good at it, you know I'd get up to my knees or my hips and I was out.
• 36:56
  Brandi Wolf: Forget, scanning the rest of my body was out.
• 37:01
  Erin Gray: I know when my kids like she's got the whole thing memorized, I'm like, how do you even stay awake during this?
• 37:06
  Erin Gray: Because I'm like, as soon as I press play, I'm, I'm out.
• 37:09
  Erin Gray: What about for people that wake up in the middle of the night, can you?
• 37:14
  Erin Gray: I mean I know we can do anything right, but like, can you, is that a good kind of thing to do to get us to go back to sleep, thing to do to get us to go back to sleep?
• 37:24
  Brandi Wolf: Absolutely.
• 37:25
  Brandi Wolf: Body scans are really great.
• 37:26
  Brandi Wolf: I noticed for myself, and you know, when I talk to people that are not having good sleep and they're waking up in the middle of the night, usually it's because the what ifs have crawled into our ears and everything is worse.
• 37:39
  Brandi Wolf: At night we have a lot on our mind.
• 37:41
  Brandi Wolf: I will do a couple of things.
• 37:43
  Brandi Wolf: One I will go into mantra.
• 37:44
  Brandi Wolf: Okay, to help get my mind off of whatever it is.
• 37:49
  Brandi Wolf: Now, just because you go into mantra doesn't mean it's just going to be that mantra.
• 37:53
  Brandi Wolf: You're going to get distracted, the thoughts are going to distract you.
• 37:56
  Brandi Wolf: You're going to, you know, go over here.
• 37:58
  Brandi Wolf: Again.
• 37:58
  Brandi Wolf: It's like, okay, that's okay.
• 38:00
  Brandi Wolf: No brain, we want to come back over here, come back over here.
• 38:04
  Brandi Wolf: It's just a gentle reminder.
• 38:05
  Brandi Wolf: The more we do that, it's actually really good for our brain, because it's telling our brain no, now is not the time.
• 38:17
  Brandi Wolf: Right now is sleep.
• 38:18
  Brandi Wolf: And so I have different mantras that I use for different purposes, and you know.
• 38:19
  Brandi Wolf: So I have a couple of mantras that I'll use at night.
• 38:21
  Brandi Wolf: One of them is Om Mani, padme Hum.
• 38:25
  Brandi Wolf: That is a beautiful mantra.
• 38:28
  Brandi Wolf: The jewel is in the Lotus is what it translates to, which doesn't make much sense, but it's a oneness type mantra, you know, it's very peaceful to say, the vibration is very beautiful and it's very relaxing and calming and stuff to me.
• 38:43
  Brandi Wolf: So I will say that a lot at night.
• 38:45
  Brandi Wolf: Or I use Ho'oponopono, the Hawaiian one of I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, and I love you, and I will use those to help me get my mind off of what's happening over wherever, because it's worse than that.
• 39:01
  Brandi Wolf: You're going to wake up in the morning and be like why was I so worried about that?
• 39:04
  Brandi Wolf: There was nothing I could do about it right then.
• 39:05
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, there's nothing you can do about it.
• 39:07
  Brandi Wolf: Right now it's 2 AM.
• 39:09
  Brandi Wolf: Yeah, the best thing you can do is to go back to sleep.
• 39:12
  Brandi Wolf: And then, if those do not work, I have a grounding meditation that I have done for years, where I grow my roots deep into the earth and when we do that, we're accessing the energy of mother earth and it's like she rocks us back to sleep.
• 39:32
  Brandi Wolf: You know, she's just her beautiful, nurturing energy just rocks us right back to sleep, you know.
• 39:39
  Brandi Wolf: So those are some of the things that I do for myself and I tell others to do in the middle of the night, when they wake up with the what ifs, and if none of that works, get up and read.
• 39:50
  Brandi Wolf: Don't lay there and torture yourself.
• 39:53
  Erin Gray: I was gonna say, yeah, get up and journal.
• 39:54
  Erin Gray: Sometimes I've had clients that are like.
• 39:57
  Erin Gray: Oh, how much have you given yourself, like I think sometimes the mind comes on at nighttime because we haven't given ourselves much stillness in the day, to let it kind of talk to us or whatever it wants to do.
• 40:10
  Erin Gray: And so get up and journal or journal before bed, like try doing that for a couple of nights in a row and see how you feel.
• 40:17
  Erin Gray: Like whatever, it doesn't have to be a certain way, you don't have to be like dear journal, it's just like just write down whatever's happening, or just allow yourself, because it's it's almost like I think of it like that little two-year-old that like we haven't given them enough time to talk, and then when it's time for bed, then they're like, well, let me tell you all the things right Versus versus giving our, our minds that time during the day.
• 40:40
  Erin Gray: So, yeah, journal and and yeah, allow yourself to have some, some space.
• 40:46
  Erin Gray: It's it feels I was reading a book one time and she's talking about like we're not allowed to be bored.
• 40:52
  Erin Gray: Right, we haven't given ourselves boredom, which we packed it's.
• 40:57
  Erin Gray: It's like we live in this productivity society of like everything, every single second has to be accounted for.
• 41:03
  Erin Gray: Okay, then let some of those seconds and minutes and hours be bored stillness, some of those seconds and minutes and hours be bored stillness being with yourself, you know, allowing yourself to your mind, to kind of wander versus having it be so focused all the time.
• 41:20
  Brandi Wolf: I agree with that, and cell phones and technology are a huge destruction with that.
• 41:23
  Brandi Wolf: It's kind of made us all look at the squirrels, you know, running around.
• 41:26
  Brandi Wolf: Greg braden talks about that.
• 41:29
  Brandi Wolf: That.
• 41:30
  Brandi Wolf: He uh shared a story about going on a retreat and a father and son were there and somewhere along point a to point b they lost their phones and he said for the first day they were actually like mourning the loss of their phones, like you could see them physically mourning, like they didn't know what to do with themselves, and they were out, you know, in nature, at a beautiful retreat and and he's like, but then all of a sudden the next day there was all these other things to get to.
• 42:00
  Brandi Wolf: It was all of a sudden nice to sit by the fire and listen to nothing.
• 42:03
  Brandi Wolf: It was nice to lay back on the grass and watch the trees.
• 42:07
  Brandi Wolf: It was nice to do all of these things that we used to do all the time, but we don't do them anymore.
• 42:14
  Erin Gray: So yeah, and our bodies are craving them, right?
• 42:17
  Erin Gray: I think our bodies are truly craving them.
• 42:20
  Erin Gray: I love it.
• 42:21
  Erin Gray: Do you have anything else that you want to add?
• 42:22
  Erin Gray: That I haven't asked or thought about, that you want to share?
• 42:26
  Brandi Wolf: Oh my gosh, I don't even know.
• 42:28
  Brandi Wolf: I could talk with you all day about meditation and all this yummy stuff.
• 42:32
  Erin Gray: Yeah, it's just like you know.
• 42:34
  Erin Gray: So, for, for people that have never done it before, it's it's kind of like when I go see Burma with Reiki, I'll put in the show notes what episode that is.
• 42:41
  Erin Gray: But it's like, how do you describe how you feel?
• 42:44
  Erin Gray: I can't, it's just, it's you just, or like, how do you describe what Reiki is and all that?
• 42:47
  Erin Gray: It's just like.
• 42:48
  Erin Gray: It's just a feeling, right, like you just feel.
• 42:50
  Erin Gray: Like what Brandy said with the sleep meditation or the body scan.
• 42:54
  Erin Gray: It's just like this, this staff for the body, and I don't even know how to describe it.
• 43:00
  Erin Gray: It just feels good, right, and we want to do we were searching for all these things that make us feel better.
• 43:06
  Erin Gray: It's like we have.
• 43:07
  Erin Gray: We have things that cost no money and we can do that right here with ourselves in this moment, you know, now, or nighttime, or whenever you decide to do it.
• 43:17
  Erin Gray: And so, yeah, I just encourage you to like dip your toe into it and try it and see how it feels.
• 43:24
  Erin Gray: And and when I say stick with it, what I mean is like, give it more than one time, right, like a lot of times people will sit down and be like, oh, I couldn't, I couldn't shut the mind off.
• 43:33
  Erin Gray: It's like yeah, that's okay, right, like that's supposed to like.
• 43:35
  Erin Gray: We talked at the very beginning, it's supposed to happen, so yeah absolutely, absolutely Well.
• 43:40
  Brandi Wolf: Thank you so much, erin, you're just delightful.
• 43:43
  Erin Gray: Thanks for coming on.
• 43:44
  Erin Gray: You learn more about you.
• 43:46
  Erin Gray: Youtube channel, all the things.
• 43:48
  Brandi Wolf: Um, they can go to my website, golden alchemy meditation.
• 43:51
  Brandi Wolf: Uh, they can follow me on Instagram.
• 43:55
  Brandi Wolf: Same golden alchemy meditation I just plunged into tick tock.
• 44:04
  Brandi Wolf: I didn't think I ever would, but I'm spreading meditation goodness.
• 44:07
  Brandi Wolf: So I now am a tick tocker and um, and I have a YouTube channel as well where I I upload parking lot meditations that are super short.
• 44:16
  Brandi Wolf: I just have all sorts of meditations.
• 44:18
  Brandi Wolf: People can sign up to get, uh, a monthly free meditation sent to their inbox.
• 44:22
  Brandi Wolf: Um, you know all sorts of things like that.
• 44:24
  Brandi Wolf: So, basically, golden alchemy meditation is where they can find everything.
• 44:29
  Erin Gray: Perfect.
• 44:29
  Erin Gray: I'll put it all in the show notes.
• 44:30
  Erin Gray: Thanks for coming on, brandy.
• 44:31
  Erin Gray: I appreciate it.
• 44:32
  Erin Gray: Thank you for each of you that are listening and watching.
• 44:35
  Erin Gray: Until next time.