Latest / Questionable Detour / Sleeping on mattress you found at a dump, kidnapping people for open heart surgery, and buying your own grave plot.

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Sleeping on mattress you found at a dump, kidnapping people for open heart surgery, and buying your own grave plot. · Questionable Detour

0:00
Excuse me, what is going on here?
0:04
But first we're going to make a little detour.
0:09
So absurd, so questionable.
0:12
I guess we're just the weirdos.
0:15
Expect the detour.
0:25
Stop talking about that.
0:26
You talk about him too much.
0:27
That's that Duncan marketing that just got to him.
0:30
Evan, give us a Duncan commercial that you would run.
0:33
Give us, how would you sell some donuts?
0:37
Scene opens, dinosaur to birthday party.
0:39
Top hat or birthday hat on, obviously.
0:41
It's like a little teepee on his head.
0:44
Thanks for describing what a birthday party hat is.
0:48
He has small arms, so he can't reach the treats that are in the bowls.
0:51
The bowls are too deep.
0:52
So he's like, man, what I would do right now is to make a donut.
0:56
Like, man, what I would do right now for a treat that I could actually reach.
1:00
And so he's driving down the road trying to find something to drive.
1:04
He's in depression.
1:05
He's listened to loud emo music kind of deep in his feels.
1:09
It's raining his windshield wipers on.
1:11
He can't see well out.
1:13
It comes like this is about to turn into a wear your seatbelt ad.
1:19
He hydroplanes.
1:20
He has the bottle hydroplanes go soaring off into a ditch.
1:23
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt, like you said.
1:25
His head smashes into the windshield.
1:27
A cop who is responding to the call recently ordered a half dozen of Dunkin Donuts.
1:34
He's in his car.
1:34
He's not yet dove into these donuts, but he gets the call.
1:38
He's on his way.
1:39
He attends to the scene.
1:40
Is he kind of annoyed he had to go a little bit?
1:44
Is this the customary Ben Affleck part?
1:47
He's standard in a lot of Dunkin commercials.
1:49
Is he the cop in the situation?
1:51
He would be the cop in the situation.
1:53
And he's peering down this wreck, this dead mangled body in this, this car that just
1:57
how you're playing into a tree.
1:59
And you know, he's sick of his job.
2:02
It's kind of just, it's every day.
2:05
It's just more of this just just dead bodies, just dead, dead dinosaurs, dead
2:12
bodies from just years ago.
2:15
And he's like, I wish an asteroid would take me off of this earth.
2:19
So I don't have to work this job anymore.
2:21
But anyway, he, so the ambulance and the fire truck, fire people department,
2:30
department shows up, they clean up the wreck tow trunk company, gets the car out
2:35
of there, cops finally able to return to his car to drive home.
2:39
And he sees that little box of Dunkin donuts and it's the only spark of joy
2:43
he's gotten all day.
2:44
Wow.
2:44
It took a second to get to the donut part, but you told a story and it really
2:48
captivated what Dunkin is.
2:50
It is.
2:50
Yeah.
2:51
It lightens your day.
2:52
Whenever you think it's at its darkest dinosaur and why that had to be in there.
2:58
Sounds like some really arty short film that you're not supposed to get.
3:02
Yeah.
3:03
Somebody had to hit the tree.
3:05
You know, you made a dinosaur in this case.
3:08
It was happened to be a prehistoric animal, but America runs on Duncan.
3:14
My America runs on dunk as well as prehistoric America.
3:17
Speaking of death, I wanted to bring something up this week.
3:20
Alan did the most romantic thing that you could do as a husband and took his wife
3:26
is betrothed to see his grave plots where he is going to bury him and his wife one
3:32
day.
3:32
That is sweet.
3:34
Let me set the, let me set the stage for you.
3:36
We're driving down the road, not too far from the cemetery, but just far enough to
3:40
where it's outside.
3:41
It's a little out of the way.
3:42
A little out of the way and my wife says she brought this up.
3:48
She said, Hey, where are our cemetery plots at?
3:50
She just did cheat.
3:52
I promised what I had to have had pride.
3:55
Nobody just naturally asks.
3:57
No, no, that's where our cemetery plot.
3:58
That's it's not a natural conversation.
4:01
If you're outside of our family, if you're in our family, then you know that in the
4:05
early nineties, my dad got a great deal on burial plots and he bought.
4:10
He's a sucker for a good deal.
4:11
Yeah, he bought, I think 30 and I wish that was an exaggeration, but when prices were
4:18
as low as they were, you just buy them up.
4:20
You like you're losing money if you don't mind.
4:22
You're losing money if you don't.
4:24
So real estate investor, but for graveyard plots, land is land.
4:29
So we took a, we took a nice drive up the cemetery road.
4:33
I showed her a few family members.
4:34
Were they dead?
4:35
They were.
4:36
They were.
4:37
They weren't also hanging out, watching their plot.
4:39
Yeah.
4:39
Okay.
4:41
We got out, surveyed small area of ground, but I said, you know, every it's like that
4:46
scene in the lion king where he's where Mufasa says to send everything the light
4:50
touches.
4:52
That was kind of, that was kind of what I did, but in the quarter of an acre plot, but
4:57
in a very small, old, old graveyard.
5:02
So you didn't start digging the graves right then?
5:04
We did not thought it was a little, little preemptive.
5:06
Yeah.
5:06
Premature.
5:07
Yeah.
5:08
It would have been funnier if you would have been like, all right, well, let's go
5:10
to and dig up, but I don't help her.
5:12
So I make her do it.
5:13
You make her do, you're like a mob boss.
5:14
That's about a shooter in the hole.
5:16
But you know, it's a lot of fun.
5:17
I don't know if you guys have cemetery plots.
5:19
Yeah, I don't.
5:20
And I feel, I feel, I feel unprepared.
5:23
Evan, what's your, what's your barrel plot status?
5:25
Single.
5:26
Okay.
5:29
I as well feel underprepared, but at the same time, I feel like you're over
5:32
prepared.
5:33
I can see that.
5:34
Yeah.
5:34
Cause you know, we're not even in our thirties yet.
5:37
Yeah.
5:37
Having a burial plot seems like you're expecting something.
5:40
When I tell you that my dad had these burial plots before I was born, either,
5:47
either he got it before I was born or he bought them very soon after I was born.
5:51
That feels very, let's all drink the Kool-Aid.
5:53
Yeah.
5:54
You know, like kind of culty, like, like, well, you know, you're going to die.
5:58
Like we're all going to die, but like, I'm not going to might as well have a place to
6:01
go.
6:01
I'm not going to pick out my funeral home yet.
6:04
Yeah.
6:04
Yeah.
6:05
Throw me in a ditch.
6:05
I don't care.
6:06
Put me in a trunk of some person in a Walmart, frame them for murder.
6:12
Okay.
6:12
You know, that is nice.
6:14
That'd be pretty cool.
6:15
Right?
6:15
Yeah.
6:15
We're talking.
6:16
Do that.
6:17
Don't put me in the ground.
6:18
Are you going to die in the car or is somebody going to move you to the car?
6:22
Yeah.
6:22
I'm going to be like, you know, I'm looking at my watch and I'm like, ah, really down
6:26
here about time to go.
6:28
Let's go out and go get this.
6:29
I'll throw all the stuff out of the trunk.
6:32
I'll be like nesting like a mouse nesting.
6:35
You're like a cat that has to go somewhere to die.
6:38
Yeah.
6:41
But yeah, I'll just kind of get in the trunk and close it and kind of die like a cat.
6:45
Just like a wild animal.
6:47
That's definitely one way to do it.
6:49
More fun than yours.
6:50
It's not a competition.
6:51
It's not.
6:52
It's not.
6:54
Fun is one metric in the whole rubric of grading your death.
7:00
Well, how would you measure it then?
7:01
If not by entertainment value.
7:03
I mean, there's the preparedness of it.
7:05
Sure.
7:06
That's one metric.
7:07
What is it?
7:08
And this is your classic system called grave grading, right?
7:11
Grave grading.
7:11
Yeah.
7:12
Evans grave grading rubric scale.
7:14
You don't get a lot of work done during the day.
7:18
Spend a lot of time on my rubric, figuring out what works best, but preparedness is one
7:24
metric.
7:25
Second metric would be the fun aspect, the entertainment value of it all.
7:29
Third would be the monetary value.
7:31
What can you get out of it?
7:32
You get out of it.
7:33
Yeah.
7:34
Fourth would be respect.
7:36
Are you being respected?
7:38
Are you respecting wherever your dead body is being thrown?
7:41
You have to do that.
7:42
That's on you as a dead person.
7:44
That responsibility.
7:45
Yeah.
7:45
I don't want any responsibility once it's dead.
7:47
Yeah.
7:48
You want it to be as disrespectful as possible as a dead person.
7:51
Yeah.
7:52
I want to be swinging from a stop light pole with just a note painted on my body saying
7:58
cow thief like you were just hung for cattle robbery in the old west.
8:06
I got one boot on.
8:08
Didn't you have like a category that was I'm looking over at your computer right now.
8:13
You have it up.
8:14
He's yeah, he's got it up.
8:16
He's working on it before he came in here.
8:17
I think that last column says sexy question mark.
8:23
There's a pie chart.
8:24
There's a pie chart right next to it, and it's mostly sexy.
8:28
Very, very slim sliver is the rest of the category.
8:34
Respect is so small in that pie chart.
8:36
I compared this even smaller.
8:38
It's mostly sexy.
8:39
Ninety five percent of it is sex.
8:41
Explain.
8:42
I did forget to mention sexy.
8:44
Sexiness is probably the biggest factor.
8:48
Yeah, as illustrated.
8:49
That's because what's more important when you're dead than the last thing people think
8:54
of you, the last image in their brain of you, you want it to be bare skin.
8:59
You want it to be you at your purest form, your sexiest.
9:05
You want to go out the way you live like a stripper in Detroit, Michigan.
9:13
What you want to do like those big red platform shoes, big red blabber like you.
9:19
You need an extra long coffin to fit those things.
9:23
Looking like Patrick Star.
9:26
Yeah, you got fish nets.
9:29
You got the platform shoes and you got no shirt on.
9:32
Nipple tassels, nipple tassels flailing everywhere.
9:35
So when people come by and they come to say their goodbyes, they say their hello.
9:40
They say their hellos and then they say their goodbyes.
9:43
So they're looking at it.
9:44
They're like kind of sad, but they're also like kind of turned on.
9:47
Yeah, we got to get home.
9:48
They're like, this is weirdly doing something for me.
9:52
You know, I hope this doesn't.
9:54
Am I the only one here?
9:57
You necrophil me, you know what I'm saying?
10:02
The last thing you want to do is turn on your friends and family at your wake.
10:10
What is a one better parting gift?
10:12
Name that name one better than sexiness than a boner.
10:15
Yeah, you have it.
10:21
Everyone does.
10:22
OK.
10:25
Oh, no.
10:26
Yeah, put a bow on that thing, you know.
10:28
It's a gift.
10:31
I'm glad I'm not in your head.
10:32
Yeah, I feel like you'll always give me the worst situation.
10:37
God gives his greatest battles to the strongest.
10:39
Yeah, that he does.
10:41
I guess fighting for my life.
10:43
I'm looking forward to your funeral now.
10:45
Yeah, it will be sexy.
10:49
Strobe lights and like this.
10:53
Be like a Miami club.
10:54
Yeah.
10:57
And by that, you mean gay.
11:01
Bald Latino men.
11:03
But yeah, Alan has great points.
11:06
I think that's the point of what we think about.
11:08
I think be prepared.
11:09
And more than that, make sure your dad was prepared before you had the ability to be.
11:14
All right.
11:15
Well, welcome to a quest for detour.
11:16
These are my pathetic.
11:18
Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract, purely hypothetical question?
11:23
I guess I want to apologize for asking a hypothetical question.
11:26
Well, that's a hypothetical question.
11:28
So, yeah, we're homeowners, right?
11:31
Everybody here is a homeowner.
11:33
All three of us.
11:34
I have a home.
11:36
The fact check board is lighting up over there.
11:39
We have a fact check board.
11:42
Well, who got that board?
11:44
This is most untruthful podcast.
11:45
They're going to be lighting up the whole time.
11:47
It's like a Las Vegas trip club.
11:49
No, we all have homes, but homes can be empty.
11:53
It's walls and a roof and windows.
11:55
How are we making that a home where you want to be?
11:59
I think I think the most important part of a house is where you sleep.
12:03
And that that's because you're going to spend over half your life there.
12:07
Right. And so I like to do is make sure any sleeping
12:11
and relaxing, basically any furniture
12:14
that you may use in this home to sleep on or relax on.
12:18
I like to set it up in not just a room, but in a continuous
12:23
sequence so that you can just do parkour
12:27
kind of the first week you're there and really break in the cushions and.
12:32
Wait, your answer is home is it's important where you sleep,
12:34
but you're going to do parkour.
12:36
Yeah. Well, you want to break in the furniture.
12:39
And so you got to do a little parkour on it for about a week
12:43
and just kind of get the bumps out.
12:46
Really set the set the whole ask.
12:48
Evan, this kind of furniture you buy and if you need to get bumps out,
12:52
I just find this furniture on the side of the road filled with rocks.
12:57
Why are you buying lumpy furniture?
12:58
Let me put you all on.
12:59
Is it a lumpy couch?
13:00
Let me put you all on something real quick.
13:02
You better not try and sell us your couch.
13:03
Yeah. What's your lumpy couch?
13:06
We'll talk.
13:07
But everybody's going to these home good stores and mattress
13:11
depot firms and whatever they're called paying thousands and thousands.
13:15
Come up with one mattress store name mattress, mattress place.
13:20
And there are everybody's going to mattress places
13:23
and just paying all these thousands of dollars for what a mattress,
13:28
a mattress, a quality mattress that you can get some sleep on a piece,
13:32
a cloth that you lay your body on a cloth.
13:34
I don't think you know what a mattress is.
13:38
A piece of layered.
13:39
You sleep on it.
13:41
Just a folded up bath towel.
13:42
Just layers of cotton
13:46
and other various materials.
13:49
Let me tell you what, save you some money and go down to this little place
13:52
I found pretty underground.
13:53
It's called the dump.
14:01
And not a lot of people are going there to pick things up.
14:04
Yeah, I would say so.
14:05
I've seen people dropping stuff off, but it's kind of like Goodwill.
14:07
They drop stuff off so that good will would not appreciate you.
14:13
So that people can can get stuff for less.
14:16
So, you know, me and my family, we venture on down to the dump every now
14:19
and then you'll catch a good mattress coming in.
14:21
And you got to snag that bad boy.
14:23
And yeah, maybe it has a rock or a steel beam or something in it.
14:28
Yeah, it's family of mice.
14:29
Yeah, that's what you got to knock out doing the parkour.
14:32
So, yeah, it takes a little bit of breaking in,
14:35
but it's worth it to save a couple of bucks.
14:37
It you are saving money.
14:40
Is the is your whole house covered in these trash mattresses?
14:43
Yeah. You have other furniture?
14:44
Well, I mean, you have couches and OK, OK, there too.
14:47
But you get them all from the place to call the dump, the little known place.
14:51
100 percent, 100 percent of my furniture comes from the dump.
14:55
I don't know why they call it that, because I think it's more like a verb.
14:58
Like that's just where people dump things.
15:00
I don't know. I don't know if you could wrap your head around that.
15:03
It seems like more of a treasure pit.
15:07
If that's what we're going to if we're going to name things after what they are.
15:11
Let's call it the treasure trove or the treasure hole.
15:14
The place with all the furniture. OK.
15:17
Just just rolls off the tongue. Yeah, that's good.
15:19
That's good. I bet your house smells lovely.
15:22
Smells like Febreze and a lot of it, because we spray it all down
15:25
with Febreze just constantly.
15:27
So your house smells like old furniture.
15:29
Mildew. You don't want to put your face in it.
15:32
I'll say that there's some stinks you can't get out.
15:36
Evans got the industrial roundup sprayer just pumping for breeze
15:39
into his into his house.
15:42
It's mattresses definitely has like a spree spring coming through it
15:46
and has like questionable stains on it.
15:49
We do bug bombs, but like with Febreze, like nobody can go in for like 72 hours
15:54
because you're just going to inhale toxic fumes.
15:56
Nobody other than you, though.
15:57
Well, yeah, you go in, I can withstand it.
16:01
But that's just a lot of hair.
16:02
Could that be the reason you're you're looking kind of mangy right now?
16:06
Because you're slowly poisoning yourself now.
16:08
I'm just under a lot of stress.
16:11
It's because you're not sleeping well.
16:13
Yeah, because you're sleeping on trash mattresses.
16:16
Now, your leg is bleeding right now.
16:18
Oh, my God. Is that because of that that rusty spring
16:22
sticking out of your mattress?
16:23
See, the great thing about this Febreze, I can't even feel it.
16:29
I tell you what, I've got a whole new sensation running through my body.
16:32
Now, it's tingling all the time.
16:33
Yes. If only it could cover your emotional pain, too.
16:37
Boy, howdy.
16:39
It'd really be a really be a fix all, wouldn't it?
16:43
I may just be an Iron Man at that point.
16:45
If it could cover up my emotions, what could could get me at that?
16:49
They call you an Iron Man, though, because you've lost all your blood
16:52
and you need iron vigorously.
16:54
Yeah. Besides the steel springs sticking into my legs.
16:59
That's the only bit of iron I get.
17:02
It's the only bit of iron in my body coursing through my veins is the springs.
17:06
Are you the only one that sleeps in your house?
17:07
Where is Savannah in this?
17:09
Because I know she has standards and does not sleep in this house with you.
17:12
Yeah, we don't sleep in the same house.
17:15
She has her own house that she thinks is more comfortable
17:19
or not as risky for her health.
17:23
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:24
Like all these. So you've got you've got the money for two houses.
17:29
But you're choosing to go to the dump to buy your furniture.
17:33
He's getting all the extra money from this guy.
17:36
You don't get rich from spending money.
17:39
It's also you don't buy you buy one mattress every like 15 years.
17:43
You make it seem like everybody buys a mattress a year
17:46
and they're having to spend three thousand dollars.
17:47
Listen, I don't want to get into your finances.
17:49
I've been going through mattresses.
17:51
Why are you going through mattresses?
17:52
Parkour is doing parkour on a lot of parkour, a lot of stuff in my cash in them.
17:58
What you do to get rid of those rodents that live in your mattress
18:02
is probably also the reason why you your mattresses last you like two weeks.
18:06
Yeah. Now, that could be true, but I still think financially it's worth it.
18:10
OK, let's I've done the math.
18:12
Alan, let's give everybody some financial advice.
18:14
You want to be our financial guy, and then call into Dave Alan Ramsey over here.
18:20
Maybe Alan can give you some financial advice.
18:30
You're you're on the Ramsey show.
18:32
Hey, Dave, this is my name is Evan.
18:36
Longtime caller, first time listener.
18:37
Um, listen, I got it.
18:48
I got a question.
18:50
I got it.
18:54
That's the funniest thing.
18:59
I got a question for you, Dave.
19:01
All right, Evan, shoot.
19:03
See, you know, mattresses.
19:04
Yeah, I'm familiar with them.
19:05
I go through at least three of them a year.
19:08
Now, how did the financially?
19:11
I think they're a waste of money just because you wear through them so soon.
19:15
I've been kind of picking them up at the dump for free.
19:18
Really? It's kind of nobody's really delved into this market.
19:22
But me, it seems like so I just want to see what your advice for me would be
19:26
and your thoughts on the whole situation.
19:28
Let me stop you right there, Evan.
19:29
Well, I'm going to ask you a couple of couple of leveling questions
19:31
just to kind of get a gauge on where you are financially.
19:34
Kitchen table, is it paid off?
19:35
Yeah, sure.
19:37
Did not did not sound confident.
19:41
How many how many credit cards you got?
19:44
Are we counting the ones that I'm using to pay off my other credit card?
19:48
Evan, Evan, let me stop you right there.
19:51
You have got to get rid of those.
19:52
You've got you've got to aggressively pay off that debt.
19:54
Let me tell you what you do.
19:55
Start selling these mattresses you find at the dump.
19:57
Oh, start selling them.
19:59
I hear you. I hear you.
20:00
That's a great. I mean, in theory, it sounds great.
20:03
But what am I going to sleep on if I don't have the mattresses
20:05
I'm recouping from the dump?
20:08
Because if I have five mattresses in my house,
20:12
sure, I'm trying to sell one of them, but I'm also going to wear through that one.
20:15
Evan, Evan, I'm going to be honest with you.
20:17
You got credit card debt, you don't deserve a mattress.
20:22
And that's a Ramsey guarantee.
20:25
Now, let me let me throw this other wrench in the in the tire here.
20:29
So I do a lot of parkour.
20:31
How many mattresses you think withstand a 195 pound man
20:37
hopping from mattress to mattress,
20:40
finding the joy in life from the height he gets and at the pinnacle of each jump,
20:46
he's kind of just finding himself within himself to become a new man
20:50
and really put his best foot forward.
20:53
How would you equate that in monetary value?
20:55
Son, to be honest with you, I think you'd be on help.
20:59
Let's go to the next caller.
21:02
It's you know, it makes sense that he's the first time caller
21:06
and or he's the first time listener.
21:08
He had no idea what Dave Ramsey was for.
21:10
Dude was asking about mattresses.
21:13
Dave Ramsey, financial guy, why are you asking him?
21:15
He doesn't know about mattresses.
21:17
You got to convert the the feeling you get from something to a monetary value.
21:22
You know, it has some kind of monetary value, sentimental value, you know.
21:26
Yeah, let's go. Yeah, go sell your happiness.
21:28
See how much money you get.
21:29
I've tried for years.
21:32
That's good mattresses.
21:35
Fill your home with dirty furniture.
21:37
Have a dump house.
21:41
All right, Alan, how are you making your house a home?
21:45
So in order to make a house a home, I think you've got to really create
21:49
an environment, think it's important.
21:51
You know, you've got a nice homey fireplace, got a nice, nice meal
21:55
on the stove, cooking away, got a lot of blankets, ways to keep warm.
22:00
You know what all three of those things have in common?
22:02
The French Canadian fur trade.
22:06
Wasn't that going to be my first guess?
22:08
Well, you would have been correct if it was.
22:11
OK, please connect the dots for us then.
22:15
Imagine imagine coming home.
22:17
Your home is in a neighborhood.
22:19
Imagine coming home and opening up your door at the house
22:21
that exists in your boring neighborhood and inside is just a log cabin.
22:25
Oh, I got you.
22:26
It's like Davy Crockett style.
22:28
Yeah, yeah. You've got a like a musket above the fireplace.
22:32
Your house is a log cabin inside inside your house.
22:35
It's it's decorated on the inside like a log.
22:37
I thought maybe there was a smaller house within your house.
22:40
That makes more sense, though.
22:41
I like that one. That would be that that that would be very funny.
22:44
And not to say that there's not, you know, sometimes sometimes I think it's fun
22:47
to have a miniature version of your real house
22:50
because what's better than a full size French Canadian fur traders log cabin
22:55
is a smaller version of that, I think.
22:57
And maybe some like beavers running through it and they live in it.
23:00
You're not a very good fur trader if you have beavers running through your house.
23:03
Yeah, I wouldn't say I wouldn't say the beavers should be alive.
23:06
I think they should definitely be carcasses, you know, hanging up that you
23:10
that you've tanned. You do that in the house?
23:13
Well, you got a lot of rooms in your house.
23:14
You know, you got one room for for, you know, slaughtering the animals.
23:17
Slaughtering the animals.
23:19
You know, to really outside.
23:21
Yeah, like an outside thing.
23:23
Really? The whole slaughtering the animal thing. Yeah.
23:25
To really bring it all together.
23:27
You know, it's nice to have a real life Canadian fur trader there with you.
23:32
Oh, big burly guy.
23:33
So you've got a big, big burly mountain man.
23:37
Got about four teeth.
23:39
Can't speak a lick of English.
23:41
Big beard.
23:42
Nothing but just incomprehensible French.
23:45
Gible dabble, which on this podcast we called gibberish.
23:50
You know, just raccoon hat.
23:51
Yeah. Yeah.
23:52
Just moving, moving fur from one room to another.
23:57
Just, you know, when I know when you guys think about home,
23:59
that's the kind of thing you think of.
24:01
I warm fur.
24:02
I want to talk more about the homey fireplace.
24:05
Is that a fireplace just for your friends?
24:09
Yeah. Do you have one like your women's fireplace and then your homey fireplace?
24:12
Yes. There's two fireplaces in the house.
24:15
One is for, you know, when the when the women are there,
24:18
they go gather on the fire.
24:19
But then you get the homey fire.
24:22
It's got music around it.
24:23
That's what that's where the homies go to.
24:25
Got a ping pong table.
24:27
When the boys want to hang.
24:30
But it also just has that little bit more of warmth.
24:33
Yeah, it's just a slight.
24:34
Yeah, it feels the fire bigger.
24:35
You look over to the women's fireplace,
24:37
they're all like in the corner, like shake into their tiny little fire.
24:40
There's like a cauldron in it.
24:42
Like, you know, like, yeah, because they're cooking. They're cooking.
24:47
But over at the homey fireplace, we we don't have to cook.
24:52
It's not it's not our role.
24:53
You are making sports bets.
24:56
Yeah, this just yeah.
24:57
Betting on boxing, you know, talking about.
25:01
Is is your big burly fur trader there with you all this?
25:04
Is he allowed around the homey fireplace?
25:07
He is he kind of more like a more like a caretaker.
25:10
He's he's like a simpleton.
25:12
Yeah. So he kind of just wanders around and laughs at everything.
25:17
What's his name?
25:18
What's your what's your what's your fur trader's name?
25:20
Pierre. OK.
25:23
Pierre classic classic French.
25:25
You don't know his last name, though.
25:26
He wasn't born with one.
25:27
He had told you his name.
25:28
You just named him.
25:30
He mumbles and just he's just speaks gibberish French all the time.
25:34
I can't understand a word, he says.
25:36
I'm assuming his name is Pierre because I don't know anything
25:39
about the French culture.
25:41
It's the only name French name, you know.
25:43
I just know that that man walks in and out of my house with guns and fur.
25:49
Sometimes the animals are still alive.
25:51
Sometimes he takes that musket off off above the fireplace, goes outside.
25:55
You hear the gunshot.
25:56
He comes in with a with a squirrel.
25:59
Are you actively trading with him for fur pelts as well?
26:02
Or is he just running his operation out of your shop?
26:05
It's a mutually beneficial situation.
26:09
He shoots the animals, makes the fur blankets.
26:12
I purchased them from him.
26:13
He gets a place to stay.
26:15
OK, so we're we're just kind of long term roommates.
26:20
Is he sleeping in bed with you?
26:22
It's a bunk bed situation.
26:24
See on the top bunk.
26:25
Yeah, it's kind of creaky that you're kind of
26:28
you always think of this night night might be my last night.
26:31
Yeah. Yeah.
26:32
But you know, if I if I go, I'd rather it be by somebody falling.
26:36
I would want to be under Pierre.
26:39
Yeah, yeah.
26:40
Who are the people that that'll be the French sounds like?
26:45
That'll be the last thing I hear, I think.
26:48
I feel like that's how Pierre sounds in my mind.
26:50
He's just kind of I don't even know if it's French as much as just kind of gibberish.
26:54
Like he says it with some conviction, but it's just he means what he says.
26:59
But there's there's almost no way to be sure what he actually means.
27:03
I'm sure he comes up to you like in the middle of the day.
27:05
He's like, oh, they got a little bit of a Minecraft villager.
27:11
And you're just like, hmm.
27:12
Yeah, it's like, yeah, I'll I'll take some some tang. Sure.
27:17
Thanks.
27:17
But he probably thinks you're the dumb one.
27:19
He's like, I just told this guy there's a gas leak in his house
27:22
and he's trying to get me to go clean the bathroom.
27:25
Well, it's we share the living situation, Pierre.
27:28
You got it. You got to pull your weight around here as far as cleaning.
27:31
Do you have to fight off maybe, you know, the native population around your house?
27:35
I just kind of imagine around your house, there's like a big log fence
27:40
with a sharpened at the top and, you know, maybe you're having to fight off.
27:44
There is a big there is a big log fence similar to like a wilderness fort.
27:48
Yeah. As of now, there's been no danger.
27:51
There was a Asian family that moved in down the street.
27:55
They've presented no problems, though.
27:57
They seem to be great people. We've traded with them.
28:01
You fired a warning shot over their house with a cannon, didn't you?
28:05
We wanted to be safe. Yeah.
28:09
I told Pierre, I said, sound the alarm, send a shot over their bow,
28:14
so to speak, and so to speak, he definitely did.
28:18
I mean, now it makes it sound like you live in a circus neighborhood.
28:21
You live in like a forest for it.
28:24
You have a family lives on a boat.
28:26
Yeah, that's and and you've you've really hit the nail on the head there.
28:30
I have a French Canadian fur trader house.
28:33
The Asian family down the street has old ship house.
28:38
So everybody kind of just has a theme. Yeah.
28:42
Yeah. It just sounds like you all shoot cannons at each other the whole time.
28:45
Well, you know, it's fun.
28:49
I'm just waiting for your house to go up after you accidentally
28:52
light the black powder in one of the rooms.
28:54
You just take out the two neighboring houses.
28:56
The circus tent and the moon bounce house bounce house. Yeah.
29:04
There's nothing that feels more homey, like not having electricity
29:07
and having a straight, burly man in your house.
29:10
That makes eating like stew all the time. Yeah.
29:14
Like not even like, you know, you know, you don't know what kind of you don't.
29:16
You don't know what kind of he just he just comes in with just some
29:18
just some meat and throws it in.
29:20
You kind of live your life just by the way of the river.
29:25
Wherever it's flowing is where you're flowing, I guess.
29:28
It's funny how they almost always flow the same way.
29:31
Do you have to have a Native American guide to leave your house?
29:35
Maybe help you venture outside.
29:37
Yeah. If if Pierre is off on a on a trade,
29:40
sometimes I will make use of a of a native friend.
29:44
It runs with scissors. It's his name.
29:47
That's his name. That's his name.
29:49
Runs with scissors. Yeah. He was never taught as a child not to do that.
29:52
No, no, that's a they did it one time and they thought it was funny.
29:56
So they were like, oh, that's that surely that's his name.
29:59
Yeah. Runs with scissors.
30:00
He'll he'll guide me if if if Pierre's not available.
30:03
That's good. I think he's very homey.
30:04
Every home needs a fireplace. Every dead animal's in it.
30:07
Yeah. And also every home needs two fireplaces, one for one for the women
30:12
and one for the homies.
30:15
All right. Well, you know, in my home, I really take the old adage
30:18
home is where the heart is.
30:20
You know, we've all heard that I take that to heart pun intended.
30:24
So what I do is I I set up a heart transplant
30:27
operation room in my home in every room.
30:30
We are just bringing people in and cutting out their hearts,
30:34
putting putting them on shelves, putting them in glass jars
30:38
and just creating the heart that makes the home.
30:41
Are you putting these hearts in somebody else's body?
30:44
Are you completing the transplant?
30:47
Yeah. Or are you just stealing the heart?
30:49
Are you just pickling organs and you're a serial killer?
30:53
No, no, no, no.
30:55
We're we're putting the hearts back in.
30:57
You know, it's it's almost like a assembly line.
31:00
Guy comes in on a gurney.
31:02
Guy leaves in a gurney with a completely another heart.
31:04
Like it's not even his heart.
31:06
It was a transplant. Yeah.
31:09
He just got a kidney transplant.
31:11
You gave him a new heart.
31:12
He just needs a new heart.
31:14
And, you know, sometimes we keep a heart for the decoration.
31:19
You know, you have a gun over your fireplace.
31:22
I have a heart.
31:24
You know, each room is called a little heart name, like the left ventricle
31:30
and the right ventricle.
31:31
And, you know, it's all heart based.
31:34
Who hasn't taken some home from work? You know, yeah.
31:38
Decorate their house with in this instance.
31:41
You'll have an ask if the doctors are legit or you're all just making
31:45
the assumption that they're not.
31:46
I heard that you were the doctor, which made me immediately assume
31:49
they weren't legit.
31:51
So I do. I do have a shift.
31:54
I just use like hedge clippers and maybe a fork.
31:57
OK, tongs that you might flip a steak.
32:00
That's great for grabbing a heart out of a thorax.
32:04
So you do heart surgery the same way that a Waffle House cook
32:08
makes an all star breakfast.
32:10
It's funny you say that because you're smoking a cigarette
32:13
while you're doing it.
32:13
Yeah, it's funny you say that because guess what?
32:16
The second biggest employer of Waffle House cooks are me.
32:21
I they go right from their ship that Waffle House right over to Zach's house.
32:26
And they they walk in with their waffle.
32:27
I don't make them.
32:28
So what you're what you're saying is, is that when people go out of prison,
32:32
now they have instead of just being able to get a job at Waffle House,
32:36
they can also get a job as a heart surgeon.
32:39
Yeah, it really pads the resume.
32:41
Yeah, you know, they get to say I'm a heart surgeon on that.
32:45
I mean, you're doing a good thing there.
32:47
You're kind of, you know, rebuild rehabilitating people
32:49
that wouldn't necessarily have a way in in life.
32:52
So, I mean, good on you. Yeah.
32:54
For helping people get a job.
32:56
Not so good on you for stealing people's vital organs.
32:59
But one of the most vital of all.
33:02
Yeah. Some might say the most.
33:04
But I kind of think the good outweighs the bad there.
33:08
I think so, too.
33:09
We can I have a scale and I can measure that
33:13
and usually one Waffle House
33:15
employee weighs a lot more than a single heart.
33:17
So it really outweighs it.
33:20
Is it true that you're calling this operation getting a heart on?
33:26
I just want to say I go out in the street.
33:31
I go up to a person.
33:33
I go, you want to get a heart on?
33:35
They go, yeah.
33:36
And I stick them in the neck with a needle.
33:38
They fall into a white van.
33:40
We speed off and they get the heart.
33:44
In the wrong lens, when you view this situation, you could be seen.
33:48
I don't know, maybe like a serial killer.
33:50
Well, it's all about how you frame it.
33:52
You know, on one hand, I could be a serial killer.
33:55
On the other hand, I am just performing heart
33:58
transplants on people that know they need a heart transplant.
34:01
And who are you framing? Who am I framing?
34:03
Yeah. Who are you pinning all these murders on?
34:06
You said it's all about who you frame.
34:08
They're not murders. They people live.
34:10
But for how long?
34:13
Some and for how long?
34:15
Well, here's the thing.
34:16
I slowly just replace the people that didn't make it through surgery
34:21
with Waffle House workers, and they just kind of take over their life.
34:25
You know, Dave Normalman, you know, gets his heart taken out.
34:29
And well, he, you know, flat lines, you know,
34:31
not every surgeon can be 100 percent.
34:34
No, no.
34:35
And I have a Waffle House worker that goes, well, now you're Dave Normalman
34:39
and now you're going to take over his life.
34:41
So Brandy comes in for a heart surgery.
34:43
Brandy, yeah. Flat lines on the off chance on the on the ice.
34:47
The one off.
34:48
She flat lines from Waffle House Cook operating.
34:51
I'd like to point out she's not the only Brandy in the house.
34:57
But she does die.
34:58
She expires, we'll say.
35:00
She expires like milk, like an egg.
35:02
They call me bad.
35:04
You're and John with a dinch of cigarettes and a long ponytail.
35:09
Where's a lot of leather slides into Brandy's place
35:12
and is now assumed to Brandy's life.
35:13
Yeah, just a woman like a petite woman.
35:16
And now it's just John with his.
35:19
How does his skills of manning the grill translate into Brandy's life?
35:25
I listen.
35:28
I'm not a micromanager, so once they get into the life of Brandy,
35:31
I say run it how you need to run it.
35:33
OK, so after after they take over Brandy's life, you're you're kind of done with them.
35:38
Yeah, I'm just a surgeon.
35:40
You know, I just remove the heart.
35:41
They were set this whole thing into motion and just let it go.
35:44
Say the husband of Brandy realizes maybe this isn't.
35:48
I think Brandy's husband is happy with the change.
35:53
You think so? Yeah, I bet the husband's like, man,
35:55
Brandy, your hair is extra greasy.
35:58
I love your thin little rat tail.
36:01
But you have to get these Harley Davidson tattoos.
36:05
I I love that you've always got cigarettes on.
36:10
Brandy, what did you get this happy trail into your belly button?
36:15
But basically, my home, my house is a home because I have hearts everywhere
36:20
on side tables, spinning on fans.
36:23
I have the basketball game where we can shoot hearts into a hoop.
36:27
You know, it's where the heart just something like for the kids.
36:29
Just, you know, it makes the holidays great when family comes over.
36:33
Is your slogan heartily anyone dies heartily?
36:37
Anyone dies. Yeah, it's not yet, but it will be because that really plays
36:41
into the the picture that I'm trying to present of nobody's dying here.
36:46
We're really treading water.
36:50
Nobody dies here.
36:50
I just happen to have all these hearts.
36:52
But it's like whenever you're putting together a piece of Ikea furniture
36:55
and there's like three screws left over and you're like, hmm,
36:58
it seems like they should have gone somewhere.
37:00
But that's the hearts for you. Yeah.
37:03
We send the last guy out with the heart because I still sit on the table.
37:07
We have one, two, three people, one, two, three, four hearts.
37:12
Just put two hearts in one guy.
37:14
You got two hearts.
37:15
Weird that I can't find that ham that was in the fridge earlier.
37:17
Yeah. You know, if you want to make a house a home, get dump furniture,
37:21
get furniture from the dump, put it in your house, put bomb it with poison.
37:26
I think was your method of making it OK for breeze.
37:30
OK, bomb it with poison.
37:32
It's not poison.
37:34
Don't try to change the narrative now.
37:36
At that dose, it's pretty legal.
37:39
I'm not going to lie.
37:40
Once you get enough for breeze, yes, it does start to harm your biological
37:44
organ Johnson and Johnson, give us a call. Let us know about for breeze.
37:49
Is it really good?
37:51
How similar is for breeze to let's say Agent Orange?
37:56
Yeah. Mustard gas.
37:58
Also, make a house home.
38:01
Create a log cabin for trade.
38:04
Have a big burly man in there that sleeps with you.
38:09
Yeah.
38:10
It's a cuddle up cuddles up to you.
38:12
It's a cuddle up cuddles up to you at night.
38:15
It's well documented. It was a bunk bed situation.
38:17
So you let him sleep in your bed sometimes.
38:19
If it gets cold, but we're not in front of the homey fireplace, might have to.
38:24
I like to imagine you and Pierre in front of the homey fireplace
38:27
all bundled up, maybe feeding each other grapes.
38:31
Just spoonfuls of stew.
38:34
And also, home is where the heart is.
38:36
So harvest people's hearts and transplant them to different people.
38:40
I don't know where we ended up in the heart thing.
38:42
I think it was kind of that, but also maybe use them as furnishings.
38:47
But you got to come here to get real answers.
38:51
That's the whole point.
38:53
It's a hypothetical section.
38:54
Yeah, it's on you at this point.
38:57
You don't you don't legally have to follow any of these
38:59
hypotheticals to make your house a home.
39:01
You can do what you want to.
39:02
These are just pretty solid, well tested ideas.
39:05
Yeah.
39:10
But there you go.
39:10
Hey, nobody can say that we don't own homes.
39:13
If anything that proves we are adults that own homes,
39:17
it's that segment right there.
39:19
Fun fact, guys, we have a new segment.
39:23
How about that?
39:24
And really, it's showcasing the people how knowledgeable we are
39:29
because we have segments like the Quest of the Tore NPR
39:33
that really give facts about the news, you know,
39:36
what's happening around the world.
39:37
But but that actually isn't us.
39:38
Those are three separate individuals over at the QD NPR studio. Right.
39:43
But that's like they're part of, you know,
39:46
but we really need to compete with them, us three, you know,
39:49
about showing people how knowledgeable we are.
39:51
So our next segment is going to be revolving around
39:54
letting people know interesting facts about the world around us.
39:56
So let's let's try that out, I guess.
40:03
Did you know?
40:08
All right. So to keep on kind of subject
40:11
and brand of what we've talked about already, we're going to give some facts
40:14
about the housing market in the United States.
40:17
And, you know, us three are very well read about many subjects.
40:22
And this is one of them.
40:23
So fun fact, the United States housing contributes to 15% of the GDP
40:30
and about 64% of people that live in the United States actually own their home.
40:34
That is neat.
40:35
It is also well known that approximately 1.5 million
40:39
homeless people reside in shelters and don't have homes.
40:43
Did you know that roughly 8% of homeless people are really just three cats
40:48
on top of each other with a rug over them?
40:54
Three cats is that very tall?
40:57
I didn't like that might be two and a half feet.
40:59
It's only 8%.
41:01
I didn't say it was a lot.
41:04
It sounds like a lot.
41:07
There's 300 million people that are in the United States.
41:10
That's roughly like 20 million people,
41:13
quote unquote, people that are just three cats standing on top of each other
41:17
covered in a rug.
41:20
Not even a trench coat.
41:23
Let me let me ask you a question, though.
41:24
How often do you really look closely at a homeless person?
41:28
I try to avoid them.
41:29
I know both of you stare away from them.
41:32
I know you do.
41:34
If I saw a possibly two and a half foot homeless person
41:39
in a rug, like in a bath mat, I'm looking at that guy.
41:43
I'm not looking away from him. He's a circus act.
41:45
Yeah, I'm just I'm just reading the facts. Yeah.
41:49
I've got a well researched report here that you're refuting.
41:53
Did you know interest rates are up 50% this year?
41:58
Everyone is just really interested in homes.
42:02
I think you can be used about what that is.
42:04
My chart says it's right.
42:08
So you just think interest rates are how interested people are talking about
42:13
how much they keep going up.
42:14
And I'm I'm on board. I agree.
42:16
I'm a lot more interested in going up to your personal interest rates.
42:20
A lot more interested this year.
42:22
And just houses in general.
42:23
Did you know that over 35% Americans that own homes don't use doors?
42:30
They use old Western swing style doors for their house.
42:33
Wow. I see that trend going around.
42:35
It's it's I think it's really just catching on.
42:38
And I think it's here to stay.
42:40
It doesn't really help with air conditioning.
42:41
But I've thought about it for my house.
42:45
Like you said, doesn't help with air conditioning.
42:46
Fevery seems to be going up.
42:49
Not a great way to lock them. Yeah.
42:51
Yeah. But also you can have an old Western suit out right outside.
42:55
So I guess so.
42:56
And even if you do lock the doors, they could just go under it.
42:59
Pretty, pretty high.
43:02
Begs the question of how did they keep their stuff safe in old saloons?
43:05
I think it was just the threat of gunfire.
43:07
It had to have been under constant terror that you're going to be robbed.
43:12
And the robbers aren't even like normal robbers.
43:15
They're like old cartoon robbers with like striped shirts
43:18
and like one bit like a mask around their eyes.
43:21
Which to be fair, back in those days, they they didn't hide who they were
43:24
when they were robbing something.
43:25
Yeah. They called it out like it's Billy and the boys.
43:29
Just Dave and the slick back boys.
43:33
You just got robbed by the same name as the back boys.
43:37
And when he leaves, he just does a dance and kicks up a bunch of dust.
43:43
So nobody sees where he goes.
43:47
Old West smoke bomb.
43:50
Do you know the word house comes from the old Germanic for dusty vagina?
43:58
Now I know why I want to live in them.
44:03
I don't think your German's good.
44:05
I don't think you speak German well.
44:07
I've been taking lessons.
44:08
Kind of checks out. Put it in your translator.
44:13
Did you know that 20 percent
44:15
Americans will throw a Molotov cocktail into their neighbor's window?
44:20
Wow. It doesn't really say the motivation,
44:24
but I assume it has to do some with neighborhood competition.
44:27
No, I think the verbiage there is very important.
44:28
You said will. Yeah, it's going to happen.
44:31
OK, that means at some point, if you're in that 20 percent,
44:33
your head's going to come off your pillow and go,
44:36
the Johnson's house needs to be lit on fire.
44:40
So now, OK, you got me in the mindset
44:42
that my neighbors are just looking for a reason.
44:44
Yeah, you're going to have to you're going to board up your windows.
44:47
Did you know that 10 percent of Americans when you go out of town
44:51
will turn your empty home into a barn?
44:54
For like cattle? Mm hmm.
44:57
Purposefully purposefully, yeah.
45:00
They'll be watching for you when you pull out of your driveway to go on a vacation.
45:03
Oh, other people will other people will.
45:06
Yeah, OK. I thought people were like, well, we're not using the house for a week.
45:11
Let's turn it into a stable.
45:13
It's not an Airbnb for for livestock.
45:17
OK, so people will see you and the family leave.
45:21
Yeah. And be like, we have a place to put the horses.
45:24
Finally, let's get these horses out of our house and into the neighbors.
45:27
You're like a cowboy instead of moving your livestock from
45:31
a pasture to pasture for grazing purposes.
45:34
You're just moving your cattle and horses from house to house around town.
45:38
They feed in these people's pantries.
45:42
They're really into Cheez-Its.
45:44
Did you know houses were first used back in the day
45:48
because people were back back in the day?
45:53
Back in the day, just in the time before, in the previous time, previous times,
45:57
they started using houses because they wanted to have a place
46:02
away from the squirrels eyes where they could use the bathroom.
46:05
They don't want the squirrels to see them use the bathroom.
46:07
Tired of having the squirrels staring at them while they were used.
46:10
Now, I'm looking at the fact that you're reading, it says,
46:13
Evan uses the house to use the bathroom away from squirrels peering eyes.
46:19
Why is that?
46:20
You just you you're giving a fact just about yourself.
46:23
Now, I feel like I'm not the only one.
46:24
You solely have a house to use the bathroom away from squirrels eyes.
46:29
I am not that blessed.
46:30
Yeah, I do not. You don't have a house.
46:32
I don't have squirrels. What are you talking about?
46:34
I don't have a house that I specifically use to pee out of the swirls.
46:37
Oh, it's gay.
46:38
It does seem like he owns a lot of houses.
46:40
Just kind of have them around.
46:41
What are the squirrels done to you that you need to not use a restroom in front of them?
46:46
So I was out taking a deuce one day in the woods.
46:49
You know how you do as a grown man
46:52
in a neighborhood, a neighborhood.
46:54
And I look up and there's three squirrels staring me dead in the eyes.
46:59
And I see there's a lot of pressure to perform.
47:01
It's it's that.
47:02
And it's also I see their eyes darting for my eyes to my genital region.
47:07
And historically, they're all about the nuts.
47:10
Yeah, they're always looking for a nut.
47:11
Yeah, I can't have that.
47:13
No, I've got you need your nuts for winter, too.
47:15
I've got my one despair. And that's all.
47:21
I had to draw the line somewhere.
47:22
Yeah, yeah, I was getting real nervous.
47:24
I get I get why you have that fact.
47:26
That actually might be the one true fact of this.
47:30
Did you know that the first home mortgage
47:33
was actually drawn up using Raven's blood as ink?
47:39
Wow, really? Yeah.
47:40
How many ravens do you have to kill to get enough to draw up some legal documents?
47:45
Looking here and the mortgage, which is named after John Q.
47:50
Mortgage, he said he slaughtered four dozen ravens.
47:56
It says that specifically.
47:58
Yeah, he kept track.
48:00
He thought it was a lot to.
48:03
Did he pull the heads of the ravens off like he was opening a coke?
48:08
Yeah, and when he did it, it made the same sound to
48:12
carbonate carbonation sound.
48:15
It was brave.
48:16
You know, you know, the fears inside of inside of a dead raven.
48:20
Little known fact about John Q.
48:22
Mortgage mortgage, founder of the mortgage.
48:27
Did you know one in three homes will be reverse burgled?
48:31
Explain instead of burglars breaking into your house to take things out.
48:36
These burglars will just bring things into your house.
48:40
So you'll wake up with a busted window and an extra sofa the next morning.
48:44
I think it sounds like somebody's kid moved in back home from college.
48:48
It just sounds like my wife went to the store.
48:51
One in three, one in three homes.
48:55
Did you know roofs used to be the opposite way?
49:00
Explain how's that?
49:02
Your roof used to come through the middle of your house.
49:05
Oh, like upside down upside down.
49:07
Yeah. Take the roof you got now.
49:09
Flip it upside down and you got a nice little pool above your house
49:13
that you can go kind of swim around in.
49:15
Not a lot of headroom in the house, though.
49:17
No, no. Takes a lot of headroom out.
49:20
Takes a lot of room in general out.
49:22
Secondly, any leak, you got a lot of water.
49:26
So they've moved away from that.
49:28
Yeah, that makes sense. Got more of the converse.
49:30
I'm glad technology has advanced. It was worth the shot.
49:33
I'm glad they tried. Yeah.
49:35
Can't fault them for trying.
49:37
Did you guys know that a lot of houses now are being built without basements
49:40
or attics, they're actually putting them on the side
49:43
and they're calling them sidements.
49:46
So stupid.
49:51
Sidements. Sidements.
49:53
Yeah. And they're different.
49:56
And they're different from just a normal room.
49:59
Not like a garage or just like a.
50:02
We'll take a look for it. We don't need to dig into it too much.
50:05
Just one just one of your standard sidements.
50:08
Fun fact also about basements, over 30,000 Americans
50:13
no longer have the inside of their house.
50:15
In fact, their house is just a shell and they have dug into the earth
50:20
to become some sort of mole people.
50:22
Mole people just keep coming up.
50:25
We love our mole people.
50:27
They're five guys, lots of mole people.
50:29
Friends of the mole people.
50:30
Mother Earth calls to us all, you know.
50:32
So if you ever see your neighbors just hauling off loads and loads of dirt,
50:37
they're probably mole people and they're digging inside.
50:40
Yeah, you need to look into that.
50:43
Look into getting your house excavated,
50:45
because you would probably also want to be a mole person.
50:48
Yeah, it seems very fun.
50:50
I just am saying, if you walk into somebody's house, don't walk into it
50:53
with confidence. Open the door, look down, because you could just fall
50:56
right into a giant hole. Be nervous.
51:00
Be nervous.
51:01
Be nervous about the mole people.
51:04
Did y'all know that before the year 1900, one in seven people
51:10
had circular chimneys?
51:13
What was that? What happened?
51:14
Well, before the year 1900, people didn't realize that smoke needs to exit the house.
51:19
They would have an arch of a chimney that would reverse right back down into their bedroom.
51:24
That's a classic mistake, though.
51:27
Who doesn't try to get a little more smoke in their house?
51:30
They love the smoky smell.
51:33
They like the feeling of the soot on their skin.
51:37
Here's the thing, they realized that the chimney reversing right back into the house
51:41
would create extra warmth, but then they would also realize
51:45
that a lot of times they wouldn't wake up from sleep.
51:50
Did you know the original measurement they used for houses, square feet,
51:55
came about because they had a lot of heavy men with very square feet?
52:01
Just rotund little piggies.
52:04
Just 12 by 12s of honkers down there.
52:09
Well, that also brings me to a point that I have.
52:12
Did you know that when they measured the distance between studs,
52:16
they just got just a hunk of a man?
52:21
Some delts on him.
52:24
Some big old shoulders.
52:26
And they would just move him in between where they thought the studs would be.
52:31
They said shoulder to shoulder looked good to them.
52:34
That's about 16 inches right there.
52:39
Did y'all know that one in three Americans don't realize that windows are windows
52:45
and just think they're paintings inside their house?
52:48
They look at this, they will go into somebody's house and be like,
52:51
this is a beautiful painting and it just be the window into the backyard.
52:55
Did you know that before the use of tornado shelters,
52:59
homeowners would instead go hide in a tent outside?
53:04
Thank God we evolved.
53:07
It's getting really windy in here.
53:11
Well, our last fact of the day, did you know that the Question World Detour podcast
53:15
is where you go for your information or should be where you go for your information?
53:20
If you're writing a paper, be sure that you put us in your bibliography page.
53:25
Site those sources.
53:28
And if you need any more facts or information on a subject,
53:32
kind of just write in that subject.
53:34
Yeah, email us in. That's right.
53:36
If you want to know facts, we know all about facts, anything.
53:39
We can get those deep cut facts that you're not going to find at the simple Google search.
53:44
The facts we give are on page about 30 of that Google search.
53:49
You're going to have to search for a long time if you wanted to find these
53:53
and even then you may not get to them.
53:55
Yeah, so you know, write in.
53:57
Question World Detour podcast at gmail.com, by the way.
54:00
Give us a subject. We'll give you so many fun facts about that subject.
54:04
But there you go.
54:05
Episode 37, guys.
54:06
Listen, we've been giving fun facts and that's intelligence.
54:10
But what people are missing out on is wisdom.
54:12
So let's give the Saturday workers their one liner wisdom.
54:16
Sure, it's important to read a book, but I think it's more important to hear the book.
54:23
You put a lot of books through your ears.
54:25
You got to listen to it. You got to listen to the book.
54:28
Hear what it's saying.
54:30
See how it's speed. You don't know how to read, do you?
54:33
You know, it's fun to see your grandmother around the Thanksgiving holidays.
54:37
But what's more fun is visiting her in prison.
54:44
Does it have to be around the holidays?
54:46
That just makes it more more fun.
54:48
Yeah, more memorable. OK, very festive.
54:50
There you go. Wisdom, wisdom and knowledge.
54:53
Where else? What other podcast name a podcast right now that gives you both of those?
54:57
You can't let's just just a wellspring of knowledge around it.
55:02
But if you have a hypothetical you want us to answer, advice you need from us
55:08
or you want a subject where we can give you fun facts,
55:11
email us in. Question will be to our podcast at Gmail dot com.
55:14
All right, you want to be done? Yes.
55:19
Pierre, I've been asking you so many times.
55:22
Will you pick up those dang beaver pelts?
55:25
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
55:28
Look, we both live here. We need to live in harmony.
55:36
Look, I know I don't go out there and help you skin these animals.
55:41
I know you've got to call your mom to come give you a hand.
55:44
I don't know what's arousing you.