Latest / Thrive After 45® | Life After 45, Self-Trust, Midlife Women / How A Sticky Note Save My Life - with Karen Rudolf

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How A Sticky Note Save My Life - with Karen Rudolf · Thrive After 45® | Life After 45, Self-Trust, Midlife Women

• 0:00
  Hello and welcome to Thrive After 45, the podcast where we redefine what's possible in midlife.
• 0:08
  I'm Denise, drink Walter, your midlife renewal coach here to help you embrace your power.
• 0:13
  Your purpose and your potential.
• 0:16
  This is your space to let go of guilt, navigate, transitions, rediscover joy and thrive for you by you because of you.
• 0:24
  And today, it is an absolute honor and a privilege to welcome Karen Rudolph to our show.
• 0:32
  Karen is a transformational empowerment coach and the creator of Tranquil.
• 0:38
  Soul Solutions Clarity Tool.
• 0:40
  Her work is rooted in more than 18 years of experience guiding heart-centered women through deep personal breakthroughs.
• 0:49
  And her impact has reached over 10,000 lives across the globe.
• 0:54
  And I am sure that number is rising.
• 0:57
  But what makes Karen's voice so powerful isn't just her certifications and frameworks.
• 1:03
  It's her story.
• 1:05
  After a life altering accident and years of navigating trauma, burnout, and self rediscovery, she has transformed, formed her own healing journey into a method to help others rise.
• 1:18
  Her approach is grounded.
• 1:21
  In subconscious reprogramming, energetic alignment, breath work, and holistic wellness, not just as techniques, but as a way of life.
• 1:31
  Karen supports women in breaking free from old patterns, self-doubt and overwhelm so they can show up.
• 1:38
  Speak up.
• 1:39
  Live lives aligned with purpose and clarity.
• 1:44
  Karen, welcome to Thrive after 45.
• 1:47
  It's great to have you here.
• 1:49
  Oh, it's so powerful.
• 1:50
  Thank you.
• 1:50
  I'm gonna hire you.
• 1:51
  I'm gonna have to hire you as my, that was awesome.
• 1:56
  I, I've had that comment before.
• 1:59
  I'm happy to give you my show notes on that intro.
• 2:05
  It's, it's amazing isn't it?
• 2:07
  Get different when you're on the other end hearing it.
• 2:10
  It really is.
• 2:11
  Yeah, for sure.
• 2:12
  Yeah, it really is.
• 2:13
  So thank you.
• 2:14
  I you're more, oh my gosh, you are so more than welcome and I can't wait to dig into our conversation today.
• 2:21
  I would absolutely love to hear.
• 2:25
  More of your background because I know our audience really resonates with this concept of feeling burnt out, disconnected, no idea how to put one foot in front of the other.
• 2:40
  Can you share a little bit of your story so we can really deepen our connection with you in this conversation today?
• 2:49
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 2:51
  One of the things I, I truly believe it, it starts like way back when, you know, when we're, when we're young and youthful and innocent, and life begins to happen and all of a sudden something happens and we make it mean whatever we make it mean, and then your brain looks for evidence to make it the truth.
• 3:10
  And then once you keep finding this evidence, you get.
• 3:13
  Caught up in that emotional loop.
• 3:16
  So you get a caught up in the not enough, not love, not worthy, all of those conversations that, you know, start creating the identity of who you are then ah,'cause your brain there to support you in keeping you safe.
• 3:34
  So for instance, if I may, um, sure.
• 3:37
  I am aging myself here, so that's okay.
• 3:43
  We're over 45, so we can do that.
• 3:45
  We're good with that.
• 3:46
  Absolutely, sister.
• 3:48
  So, so imagine right back in the day we, you're at the grocery store with mom, little Johnny.
• 3:54
  I'm gonna call you little Johnny.
• 3:56
  Yep.
• 3:56
  Then Johnny's at the grocery store and he goes down the cereal aisle and for marketing purposes, they always put the toys in the boxes on the eye level of the kids.
• 4:06
  So here, mom's going, come on, come on, pick something and let's go.
• 4:09
  I'm in a hurry.
• 4:10
  We gotta, whatever Obama's saying, and she wheels the carriage around the corner and little Johnny looks up right at age five or six and he's like, oh my god, mom left me.
• 4:22
  She abandoned me.
• 4:24
  Ah, now he gets there and he is really pissed off that mom left it right.
• 4:30
  So instead of emoting that piss off getting.
• 4:36
  Ask him, because he's not taught how to communicate at this point.
• 4:39
  You know, he's holding onto that anger.
• 4:43
  And then what happens is he goes to school and the age between six and 13, he's now starting to discover girls.
• 4:52
  And he, his first girl that he's attracted to, he makes an advance towards her very awkwardly.
• 4:59
  And the girl is like, oh, guys, you know?
• 5:01
  And she just like P Yeah.
• 5:02
  Yeah.
• 5:03
  So now he's definitely feeling abandoned by women.
• 5:07
  Okay.
• 5:09
  In the ages of 13 to 21.
• 5:12
  He's now looking for evidence that other women are gonna start abandoning him, and then it becomes all women are gonna abandon me.
• 5:19
  Right.
• 5:19
  Mm-hmm.
• 5:20
  So we all have similar stories to that.
• 5:22
  Mine personally was I had an experience when I was five.
• 5:26
  I was in school and uh, this was around the time when kids would be seen, not heard.
• 5:31
  Right.
• 5:31
  And so I already had that, that background noise of, gee, I'm not worthy enough'cause my parents won't even listen to me, you know, go out and play kind of thing.
• 5:39
  Right?
• 5:39
  And then they went to school and we had.
• 5:42
  Now I'm really aging myself.
• 5:44
  The, the blackboards.
• 5:45
  Yes.
• 5:46
  Talk at the eraser.
• 5:47
  Yay.
• 5:48
  Got it.
• 5:50
  And right, I'm sitting in the front row because I wore glasses back then.
• 5:54
  And, um.
• 5:56
  So I'm at the front row and I had tiles to do my spelling words, and I raised my hand and I said, I don't have enough tiles.
• 6:03
  And the teacher started laughing, which made the whole class laugh, and I wasn't getting the joke.
• 6:09
  And I'm looking around and I'm just like, awestruck, like, what the heck?
• 6:12
  Like what just happened?
• 6:13
  And she, I'll never, I get the chills.
• 6:15
  Uh, I'll never forget it came around to, and that's a visceral response.
• 6:20
  So when you know, when you get a visceral response, and we'll get back to that later.
• 6:24
  Sure.
• 6:24
  That is the first clue that that's a trigger for you, right?
• 6:28
  Okay.
• 6:28
  And you have power over the triggers, so keep that in mind for sec.
• 6:33
  So she comes over to my left side, she squats down and she points to this back blackboard, and I have to turn my little body and it says April Fool's Day.
• 6:44
  And I'm looking at, and the class is like roaring and I'm looking at the board go, I had no relatedness.
• 6:51
  My parents never played April Fool's jokes or anything like that, and she's laughing and I wanted to hide underneath the desk.
• 6:58
  But what I made that little girl mind, protective mind, I will never open my mouth again, right in fear of being, you know, made to feel stupid.
• 7:09
  'cause I felt stupid.
• 7:10
  So in that moment, I called myself stupid.
• 7:13
  Right.
• 7:13
  Uhhuh must just be because I don't get it.
• 7:16
  So what happens is cause and effect, right?
• 7:18
  It's all energy.
• 7:19
  For every action, there's an opposite re equal reaction.
• 7:23
  So then what happened was I would go further in school and the teacher would call on me and I would say, I don't know.
• 7:30
  I don't know.
• 7:30
  It became my default, right?
• 7:32
  And then into later on in life, whether I knew it or not, I don't know, became my crutch.
• 7:39
  And then it was like, it really forwarded my movement forward.
• 7:43
  So I went into a career of nursing, uh, and gave up my nursing to raise my family.
• 7:50
  I was fortunate enough to do that at the time.
• 7:52
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:54
  And while I was in nursing.
• 7:56
  The doc, uh, doctor had said to me, here's a script.
• 7:59
  Discharge this patient.
• 8:01
  And I looked at the script.
• 8:02
  'cause I've always had a curious mind and I always played with manipulative puzzles as a kid.
• 8:07
  Oh yeah.
• 8:07
  So there's always a connection between what you did back then, what you're doing now, if you're on purpose.
• 8:14
  Right.
• 8:15
  So I always pay with manipulative puzzles.
• 8:17
  So today, fast forward, I do creative problem solving for my clients.
• 8:22
  So I'm looking at the script.
• 8:25
  And he says, discharge paper patient.
• 8:28
  And I'm saying, but you're masking the problem.
• 8:30
  You're not getting to the root cause.
• 8:32
  And he's shut up.
• 8:33
  They're triggered right back to childhood.
• 8:36
  Shut up.
• 8:36
  Kids are to be seen, not heard.
• 8:38
  And I'm like, but, but he goes, there are other people that can take your job.
• 8:41
  And I was like, whoa.
• 8:43
  So when I gave up nursing to raise my family, divorce happened.
• 8:48
  Wasn't planning on it.
• 8:49
  Didn't expect it.
• 8:50
  It came outta Lewis field of.
• 8:52
  And I had three small children at the time and I was like, what am I gonna do now?
• 8:56
  Mm-hmm.
• 8:57
  And I was so the victim, I was the wallflower back then, kid.
• 9:00
  You not, there's no way I could have looked you in the eye.
• 9:03
  There's no way I could, I would walk like this behind my phone, you know?
• 9:07
  Wow.
• 9:07
  Yeah.
• 9:08
  It was like I was really.
• 9:10
  I didn't know how to be, I didn't even know who I was.
• 9:13
  Right.
• 9:13
  Other than a mother and a wife, and a housekeeper and a taxi cab driver and all that I had.
• 9:19
  Yeah, no.
• 9:21
  When I was getting divorced, my girlfriend said to me, Karen, well what's your dream?
• 9:24
  And I looked at her and I went, my what?
• 9:27
  She says, your dream.
• 9:29
  And I was like.
• 9:30
  I went home, I had to look it up in the dictionary.
• 9:33
  We, we didn't have online back then.
• 9:35
  I had to look, of course, cried my eyes out because I had no relatedness to what a dream was and I thought.
• 9:44
  Something's gotta shift.
• 9:45
  And then of course I was going through the divorce and I was so victim, like he did this and he did that and he's, how can he do this to us?
• 9:51
  And, and then I realized three fingers were coming back at me.
• 9:56
  I'm so busy out there pointing at everything else.
• 9:59
  Where can I be responsible?
• 10:01
  But I didn't know what to do with that.
• 10:02
  I was.
• 10:03
  Victim forever.
• 10:04
  My mother was a victim.
• 10:05
  It was like, how do you be something you don't know how to be, right?
• 10:10
  So, uh, my paralegal, he was amazing.
• 10:14
  Cliff, I'll never forget him.
• 10:15
  Oh God.
• 10:15
  He said to, you know, I would call him Chacha.
• 10:19
  Of course, right?
• 10:23
  Of course.
• 10:25
  I can listen to you all day long.
• 10:27
  However, when you get before the judge, he's not gonna listen like that.
• 10:32
  And he says there's a chance you could lose your children because your former is going after them.
• 10:37
  Yeah.
• 10:39
  And all of a sudden a mama bear came out and I went, yeah.
• 10:42
  Over my dead body, you know, watch me.
• 10:44
  Yeah.
• 10:44
  And I didn't know what that looked like, but it made me stop and pause.
• 10:48
  So that was the beginning of my, how to create what I've created today moving forward.
• 10:54
  Right.
• 10:54
  So out of situations, it's like you never know what possibility's gonna come out of it.
• 11:00
  So that was the beginning of my butterfly technique, which I created, which I'll talk about in a minute.
• 11:06
  Sure.
• 11:06
  And.
• 11:08
  So I paused and I was like, wow, I'm my children's first.
• 11:14
  Teacher, I'm their first mentor.
• 11:16
  Mm-hmm.
• 11:17
  What am I showing them by being the victim and like, how can I shift this?
• 11:21
  And it was just, I'm getting all my Yeah, no kidding.
• 11:25
  I hear you.
• 11:27
  So anyway, anyway, uh, I moved forward in communication courses.
• 11:31
  It was the best thing I could have done because I really got president to.
• 11:35
  As adults, we really don't know how to communicate.
• 11:38
  Mm.
• 11:38
  Because we weren't taught to school.
• 11:39
  Of course we were talk nouns and verbs, putting them together and you know, but not to speak.
• 11:45
  Yeah.
• 11:45
  So I had no idea what that was gonna take me, but that was the best thing I could have ever done for myself.
• 11:50
  And then I kept, I remember sitting down one night he had taken, uh, my former had taken the children for the first weekend away and I was like, I was hiding behind my kids and I didn't know, ah.
• 12:03
  Yeah.
• 12:05
  Fall my face.
• 12:06
  I talked about Kela myself, and I went through this whole gamut.
• 12:09
  My girlfriend's like, oh, you're not, you're gonna come over my house, you know?
• 12:13
  Yeah.
• 12:15
  Panic.
• 12:16
  But I remember going home after that and I pulled out a piece of paper and I said, what are all my strengths?
• 12:22
  Nice.
• 12:24
  Because somebody said to me, are you going back to nursing?
• 12:26
  And I went.
• 12:28
  Well, you know, I'm down in Florida.
• 12:30
  I have a New York, New Jersey, and Arizona license, but I don't have a Florida one.
• 12:34
  What am I gonna do?
• 12:35
  You know, and it was just like, so I sat down with all my strengths and I said, what can I build with this?
• 12:41
  That's always been the question in my, what can I build with this as a creative, right?
• 12:46
  What can I build with this?
• 12:47
  What can I do?
• 12:48
  Right?
• 12:49
  So I started looking at, okay, I do six hours of carpooling.
• 12:54
  I could be a taxi cab driver.
• 12:56
  Scratch that one.
• 12:58
  And I started looking at him, and then I got down to the last ones that really resonated with me and I went, wow.
• 13:04
  Like, you know, I can talk to people.
• 13:05
  I've always, you know, even though I'm shy and I, I'm a introvert, yeah, I can still.
• 13:13
  People would come to me for advice.
• 13:14
  Alta, they used to call me The Dear Abby, which was the most dear Abby.
• 13:22
  Yes.
• 13:24
  Yeah, so that was the beginning of my coaching career.
• 13:28
  I went to back to school and I said, I'm gonna be, you know, my sister-in-law said to me, you'd make a great life coach.
• 13:35
  And I'm like, what's that?
• 13:36
  You know?
• 13:36
  So I took that in my communication and then I was like, nah, that's not quite.
• 13:42
  Making it right.
• 13:43
  So, and I loved, I couldn't get enough quantum physics in neuroscience.
• 13:47
  Mm-hmm.
• 13:48
  I delved into that, like there was no tomorrow.
• 13:50
  It was like the universe opens up for me and I was like, I don't have no idea why I'm doing this, but I'm just gonna go with the flow.
• 13:57
  And it was just like.
• 13:59
  Sensory overload.
• 14:00
  It was like, wow.
• 14:02
  Like the whole universe opened up for me during that, and I was still looking for something outside of myself.
• 14:08
  Right.
• 14:09
  And I started looking for some peace in my life because my divorce sadly had gone on for like four years, and very costly, to say the least.
• 14:19
  But I was still, in that time I was searching for something.
• 14:22
  So I studied world religions.
• 14:24
  Mm-hmm.
• 14:24
  And I'm like, mm-hmm.
• 14:25
  I can't quite find my place in that, but I'm still looking outside of myself.
• 14:30
  But what's the common thread?
• 14:31
  There was compassion.
• 14:33
  Okay.
• 14:33
  What can I do that right?
• 14:36
  And I'm like, okay.
• 14:36
  Nursing taught, nursing taught me to be, uh, a chameleon because I was always being, yeah.
• 14:43
  Both from the, from my station and like, go over here.
• 14:47
  Go over.
• 14:47
  So I was able to adapt really quickly.
• 14:50
  Right.
• 14:50
  I.
• 14:51
  Be compassionate and I'm empathetic anyway.
• 14:54
  Uh, I didn't know how to lead from empathy because it would, I would take it all home, you know?
• 14:59
  Right.
• 14:59
  Which was carry it.
• 15:00
  Yep.
• 15:01
  Right.
• 15:02
  And it was burning me out my hair.
• 15:04
  You could tell.
• 15:04
  I mean, I have a mean here, you know, horses are one of my things, but I have a mean here.
• 15:09
  Most of it's behind me, but it was thick and it was coming out in clumps.
• 15:13
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:13
  So that was my first clue that I was burning out.
• 15:16
  Yeah.
• 15:17
  And it was like, no time out, something's gotta give because if I fall apart, this whole thing falls apart.
• 15:24
  Right.
• 15:24
  And I had three small children, so I started looking for ways and means of managing my own stress.
• 15:31
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:31
  My own stress.
• 15:32
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:33
  So when you start knowing yourself mm-hmm.
• 15:36
  Not only do you know yourself, but you, you can read yourself in a sense.
• 15:40
  You, there's what?
• 15:43
  The intuition by your heart center, which is your GPS guidance.
• 15:48
  And I started really, I was always intuitive.
• 15:51
  I knew that, but I have lost it in the, in my.
• 15:56
  Marriage because my, I would say things and my former would say, you're freaking me out.
• 16:01
  Turn it off.
• 16:01
  And nobody talked about P course or intuitiveness or anything like that.
• 16:06
  So I thought there was something wrong with me, wrong.
• 16:07
  And I'm stupid.
• 16:08
  I must be really, you know?
• 16:10
  So yeah, when I was divorced, I was looking for something and I don't even, I didn't even know how to articulate it, what I was looking for.
• 16:17
  Of course, I really, you know, so it's been a journey.
• 16:21
  It's been a long journey and I can't.
• 16:25
  I'm happy to say it's not that I can't, I'm happy to say that I've never been happier and knowing myself and learning to love myself was the first thing.
• 16:37
  Right.
• 16:38
  Do you find that in itself is quite a journey to learn about yourself and love yourself in ways that you didn't even know was possible?
• 16:48
  Is that Yeah, absolutely.
• 16:50
  You know, anything new is, you know mm-hmm.
• 16:52
  The fear of.
• 16:53
  You know, it always looks like the grass is greener on the other side, and you get on the other side and it's like.
• 16:59
  It's just green grass, right?
• 17:01
  It's maybe a different feel or whatever, texture, whatever the, the same thing with life, you know?
• 17:07
  We don't know what we don't know.
• 17:08
  Of course.
• 17:09
  I mean, we didn't know how to ride a bicycle until we rode a bicycle.
• 17:11
  We didn't know how to drive a car until you get in and you know, you get it behind the car and you're like.
• 17:16
  And then you're sitting next to your father and mother or whoever taught you how to drive and you, what do I do first?
• 17:22
  Do I put the key, joy, do the mirror?
• 17:24
  You know, and you're, you're all over the place, but now you get in the car, you don't even think about it.
• 17:28
  Well, it's same thing with life.
• 17:29
  Right?
• 17:29
  Right.
• 17:29
  With anything in life.
• 17:32
  So what I started doing was I started looking that like, wow, what can I build with that?
• 17:37
  And I, you know, I go deep.
• 17:39
  Yeah.
• 17:41
  And I started looking at them.
• 17:42
  I'm like, wow, if I can do that with that.
• 17:46
  Then what can I build with that, with this, and why am I so fearful?
• 17:49
  Hmm.
• 17:50
  So I started looking at it and I took on spirituality and I took on a mentor, you know, and I believe that we're not here to do life alone.
• 17:59
  So I got first and foremost, uh, Reverend Alma Stevens was, you know, God bless.
• 18:05
  She's like, she's become family now.
• 18:07
  And she was such a big part of my life because I didn't know what I didn't know.
• 18:11
  Okay?
• 18:11
  And plus I had that curious mind.
• 18:14
  She said to me, okay, you're going on this journey.
• 18:17
  Are you sure you want to go on it?
• 18:19
  Because it's gonna be lonely once you get there.
• 18:22
  And I'm like, what do you mean?
• 18:23
  After, of course I wanna do this.
• 18:25
  And instead of taking, it was a two year course, I'll never forget it to get my ministry.
• 18:32
  And it was like, okay, two for three from column A and three from column B and three, you know?
• 18:37
  I'm like, no, I'm taking all six.
• 18:39
  I don't care how long it takes.
• 18:41
  So I did the whole gamut and I'm so grateful I did because it really.
• 18:47
  It gave me different perspectives.
• 18:50
  So, uh, I was always a fan of Wayne and I remember hearing Wayne Dyer say, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, my brain heard it.
• 19:00
  When you change the way you look at things, the way you look at things change.
• 19:04
  So it's all around perspective, right?
• 19:06
  And even biblically.
• 19:07
  They talk about perspective all the time.
• 19:10
  So where is the perspective around self-love?
• 19:13
  You know, if I'm taught that I'm not enough, does that have to be my truth?
• 19:17
  And I remember Reverend Nama saying to me, Karen, you gotta tell yourself.
• 19:21
  Uh, two, 5,000 times a day that you love yourself.
• 19:25
  And I looked at her like, 5,000.
• 19:27
  That's an awful, she says, yes, it's two hours in 28 minutes.
• 19:31
  And I'm like, I don't have two hours in 28 minutes.
• 19:33
  She says, yes you do.
• 19:34
  You can do it every time you go to the bathroom.
• 19:36
  You can do it in between, you can do it, you know, and I couldn't back at the time, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror.
• 19:44
  I was still living in the marital home, and I'll never forget, I wrote a blog about it back in the day.
• 19:50
  'cause I had a mirror that was nine feet long and six feet high.
• 19:56
  And it was before I even learned about, um, uh, um, oh God.
• 20:02
  I, I forgot.
• 20:03
  I just went, uh, Louise Hay and Oh yes.
• 20:07
  Right, and I had no clue because I was so busy focusing on quantum physics and neuroscience and all this other stuff and coaching and all this other communication, all this other stuff that I hadn't even looked at that aspect of life at that point.
• 20:21
  But I just knew intuitively.
• 20:23
  Mm.
• 20:23
  And I love sticky notes.
• 20:24
  I'm a huge fan of sticky notes, so I started writing on the sticky notes, all these affirmations that.
• 20:30
  I, I didn't believe I was beautiful.
• 20:32
  I didn't believe that God loved me.
• 20:34
  I didn't believe, you know, but I was putting'em all on sticky notes and literally I had a nine by nine square and not that I was wearing a lot of makeup back there'cause I was crying my eyes out half the time.
• 20:44
  But I had a nine by nine to do whatever I was gonna do, brush my teeth in this little square.
• 20:47
  Sure.
• 20:48
  And.
• 20:49
  Every time I went in the bathroom, I would read another one I would read.
• 20:52
  Mm-hmm.
• 20:52
  I would read until finally I start, my brain started leaving it.
• 20:57
  I would take'em off and put'em off to the side, and then by the time I finished, I looked over and I had a nine by nine square of all the ones that I was still.
• 21:07
  Over in a month period.
• 21:09
  So it really begins with training your brain.
• 21:12
  So when I looked in the mirror and I said I love myself, it meant I had to look up and look in my eyes and I like looking down right away.
• 21:18
  And God forbid I looked at my whole body.
• 21:20
  It was like, you know, that was all you know.
• 21:25
  So I got to a point, the more I did, the more I practiced, then I started let myself let myself, yeah.
• 21:33
  Adding, yeah.
• 21:36
  So my two hours and 28 minutes started becoming a habit.
• 21:41
  Yeah.
• 21:42
  So when we create a habit, we create new neural pathways, which will give us different results.
• 21:48
  Love it.
• 21:49
  Now is, is that how you help people tap into subconscious or is there something different that you do there?
• 21:58
  There's part of the way I also journal every day, have it right here.
• 22:01
  I journal every day, and part of creating new habits is also.
• 22:07
  Creating new stories that we tell ourselves, right?
• 22:11
  So I used to think I'm stupid.
• 22:12
  Well, I'm no longer stupid.
• 22:14
  I mean, I might do stupid things now and then, but I get to choose to laugh at them.
• 22:19
  It will never go away.
• 22:20
  Stupid never goes away, right?
• 22:22
  But I've learned to respond to it.
• 22:24
  Like that visceral we were talking about.
• 22:26
  When I get that visceral reaction I get, I say, oh, there it is again.
• 22:30
  Thanks for sharing, but I'm in control and.
• 22:33
  Now I get to either choose to laugh at it or just like, thanks for sharing, poo poo it away and it goes away.
• 22:39
  Right?
• 22:39
  So, you know, because the brain was actually designed back in the day in theand roll times to protect us from danger.
• 22:50
  Of course, you know, you know, I don't.
• 22:52
  Carry around a club and all that.
• 22:54
  Yeah, right.
• 22:56
  The tigers away.
• 22:57
  Yeah, exactly.
• 23:00
  Exactly.
• 23:01
  So, um, you know, but the brain is always gonna be there to protect you, but the heart is there to.
• 23:07
  Guide you as is the gut.
• 23:09
  Yeah.
• 23:09
  So there are three main sectors in our body, and your body is always talking.
• 23:13
  It never goes away.
• 23:15
  So my platform when I'm working with my clients now is really first and foremost around health and wellbeing.
• 23:22
  'cause your health is your wealth and without that, you know, you, it's like that cog, that wheel that's sort of, you know, gimp it along, mp it along that.
• 23:32
  Yeah, you can manage life that way, but do you wanna manage life that way?
• 23:35
  Right.
• 23:35
  Because it's all perception, right?
• 23:38
  Right.
• 23:38
  This your heaven on earth and how do you wanna live it?
• 23:40
  Or you know, it could be just a choice to create joy.
• 23:44
  I mean, for me, I want personal freedom.
• 23:46
  Yeah.
• 23:46
  And personal freedom brings joy and happiness.
• 23:50
  So I get to choose.
• 23:52
  And when I, when I set my intention, so by journaling every morning, I'm setting my intention for the day.
• 23:59
  Right energy, right Where, where thoughts go, energy flows.
• 24:04
  So, you know, what, where do I want my thoughts to go, number one.
• 24:08
  And where do want my energy to go?
• 24:11
  And more importantly, on whom do I wanna expend my energy?
• 24:15
  Yeah.
• 24:15
  So speaking on stages, you usually have your smartphones with you, and it's like, you know when, when the battery's out.
• 24:24
  If I keep loaning my battery to everybody else and giving, and giving, I'm a reform people pleaser so I can talk.
• 24:31
  So in that space now, you know, if everybody keeps sucking my energy dry when I really need the phone to, or my energy to do something important for me.
• 24:42
  I'm not gonna have that.
• 24:44
  Right.
• 24:45
  It's really creating boundaries as well.
• 24:48
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:49
  Around where I'm gonna exp expand my energy and unhook.
• 24:52
  So all of these have been lessons for me and now I give back and one of the first things I do is I've been doing mind mapping for Oh yes.
• 25:01
  32 for years.
• 25:02
  So that's one of the first things I do because it creates whole brain thinking.
• 25:06
  So as my clients are brain dumping, I'm like, ah, they're not seeing these connections and I'm able to speak from when on all my copy.
• 25:17
  Everything I do on the TL solutions site is with a W in front of holistic, because we're whole, whole right in here, right now.
• 25:27
  Right.
• 25:27
  So, um.
• 25:29
  I work in the realms of the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual as wholeness for wellbeing.
• 25:35
  So I'll map my conversations, but I will always ask them to go out and purchase a purchase, a journal.
• 25:42
  And I don't mean like a dollar store.
• 25:44
  No.
• 25:46
  Purchase because you're putting something of yourself at stake, you're more likely gonna do it.
• 25:51
  Mm-hmm.
• 25:51
  Use a color that you're gonna love, you know?
• 25:54
  And uh, when you journal, it's not, when I journal, it's not like, and I set them up for success in that respect.
• 26:02
  It's, you're not journaling, oh, I went to lunch with my girlfriend today, or I went to the bathroom.
• 26:07
  Right.
• 26:08
  Nothing like that.
• 26:09
  It's intentional journaling.
• 26:11
  That gets your mind thinking.
• 26:13
  Mm-hmm.
• 26:13
  So as a result of that and a result of my Wayne Dyers thought that I had, yeah.
• 26:19
  Would change the way you, you look at things, the things you look at change.
• 26:23
  I never back then had any inkling I was gonna be doing or having or experiencing what I am today.
• 26:32
  Because again, I mean, coming at a victim role really took something.
• 26:37
  Really took something to shift and I remember getting asked to a creativity conference and um, I went in California and the next thing I know somebody saw.
• 26:49
  You never know who's watching it or who's speaking, and I'm just being made right.
• 26:52
  I'm a authentic.
• 26:54
  What you see is what you get.
• 26:57
  It's why you're here, sister.
• 26:58
  That's why you're here.
• 27:02
  So I believe leading from the heart is the way to go, and not everybody's gonna appreciate that.
• 27:06
  And that's fine.
• 27:07
  Of course, I'm not attached to that, that somebody heard me speak and I made a difference in their life as a result of I heard winder.
• 27:17
  I said, what can I build with this?
• 27:18
  What are my tools?
• 27:19
  And I took a deck of.
• 27:22
  Visual cards to this program and I created a program and I started.
• 27:28
  Doing presentations and facilitations.
• 27:30
  I had no idea what I was doing course, but it just felt right, always tapped it.
• 27:34
  And as a result of this, this gentleman would not give up his seat.
• 27:38
  He wouldn't give anybody else a turn.
• 27:40
  And he ended up writing his whole book and on my website, he wrote this beautiful testimony to person.
• 27:46
  And he had what was called, he just, this was the last year.
• 27:51
  Last year sadly.
• 27:52
  But um, he had Mind camp up in Canada and he invited me to present at Mind Camp, which is a creative problem solving love it community.
• 28:01
  And I made it.
• 28:03
  My best friend's out of the community because it's relatable.
• 28:06
  So when you find people to relate with, they lift you.
• 28:09
  I call them the wind beneath my wings.
• 28:11
  And that's the people I wanna hang out with because I'm gonna be that for them and I want that for me.
• 28:17
  So as a result of that, I happen to be sitting, they paired us up with, you know, do, do this thing.
• 28:23
  And they paired us up with people.
• 28:25
  And during that time I was paired up with um, um.
• 28:32
  Uh, Dr.
• 28:33
  Ne Neiman and he was running one of the most prestigious camps in, um, camps of.
• 28:41
  Programs in South Africa and he invited me'cause it was by invite only to be a presenter at his program, which was er, the, um, south African creativity.
• 28:53
  Um, and it was just like, oh my God, you know?
• 28:57
  And it was like, yeah, I'm taking my pulse.
• 28:59
  Like how did I get here from being the victim that I was and Right.
• 29:03
  So, you know, doors are gonna open, but.
• 29:07
  Yeah.
• 29:08
  Yeah.
• 29:08
  Yeah.
• 29:09
  And when you do the work that you provide, like I know you have, uh, tranquil Solutions Clarity tool that you've created.
• 29:20
  Yes.
• 29:21
  And so what does it mean when you use that tool and become more soulfully empowered?
• 29:29
  How do you use that tool to help you develop that deep understanding of whom you really are?
• 29:39
  I love that question.
• 29:40
  Thank you.
• 29:41
  That's brilliant.
• 29:42
  Um, be it starts with self.
• 29:46
  Mm-hmm.
• 29:47
  Right?
• 29:47
  Mm-hmm.
• 29:47
  I was doing this for myself.
• 29:48
  I was building all these tools for me to, yeah.
• 29:51
  To.
• 29:52
  I had a burnout and for me to function as a mother and for me to go out there and go, oh my God, I've gotta create a business, or I gotta do something because I don't wanna work at Walmart or, or McDonald's.
• 30:03
  And I was like, you know, and there's nothing against those listening that are doing, of course, it wasn't for me and.
• 30:10
  I thought, what can I build with this?
• 30:13
  And I remember Tranquil Solutions, my company name, it was a download for me.
• 30:18
  Uh, I was thinking about it and I said, oh gosh, like, you know, if I'm gonna do this coaching business and this coaching thing, what am I gonna call myself?
• 30:26
  And it was like, I'm like, okay.
• 30:32
  And my girlfriend who worked in advertising in New York system, me, Karen, that's never going to fly.
• 30:37
  And that was in 2007, I created the company and I'm like, what do you mean it's not gonna fly?
• 30:43
  And she, I said, that's like stripping me of my name, Karen, and me being naked, I'm like.
• 30:48
  I mean, that feels Yeah.
• 30:49
  Like who I am.
• 30:50
  Yeah.
• 30:50
  You know, because I'm really coming from that space.
• 30:53
  Three years later, she came to me, she says, you know what, Karen?
• 30:56
  I was wrong.
• 30:57
  You are.
• 30:57
  So that, you know, and I went, yeah, because I wanna be authentic to, of course, who I say I'm, and keep the integrity in there.
• 31:05
  So in 2010, I was going through my spiritual journey, as I said, and I was discovering more and more who I was and who I wanted to be out there in the world.
• 31:16
  And I remember taking a program and I was up on stage with 700 people going, you know?
• 31:21
  And I wasn't even thinking because I was like so busy, you know?
• 31:24
  And they're like, who are you gonna be in the world?
• 31:26
  And I'm like, I'm gonna be in love.
• 31:27
  And I'm like, I have no idea what I'm saying, but okay.
• 31:29
  It just came out.
• 31:31
  Then I started looking feeling like, wow, like how am I gonna do that?
• 31:34
  Like, you know, I don't, I don't love myself.
• 31:37
  Just in the beginning was the word.
• 31:40
  Yeah.
• 31:40
  So just declaring it.
• 31:42
  So at that time I declared that I was gonna create a tool that was gonna serve people across the globe and an affordable price.
• 31:51
  Hmm.
• 31:51
  I had no idea what that was gonna look like.
• 31:53
  Had no idea.
• 31:54
  But I had been taking this physical.
• 31:56
  Program to all these creativity programs, and they're my peers.
• 31:59
  So I would go home trial and error it, right?
• 32:03
  Go back trial and error it.
• 32:04
  And I kept building and building, what can I build with this?
• 32:07
  Oh, I got this feedback.
• 32:08
  That's data, right?
• 32:09
  What can I build with this?
• 32:10
  What can I do with this?
• 32:12
  And.
• 32:13
  I hired this gal on my team who was a tech, and I was like, I have no idea.
• 32:17
  We're gonna know.
• 32:17
  Yeah.
• 32:18
  And I said to her, I'm gonna create an updated version of this and I'm gonna like make a a deck and you know, a journal and all.
• 32:26
  And she looked at me and she said, Karen, we're living in the century.
• 32:30
  Like, why don't you digitalize it?
• 32:32
  And I went, what?
• 32:33
  You know, because I'm still one of those people that text.
• 32:35
  Of course.
• 32:36
  Yep.
• 32:36
  My kids are, you know.
• 32:39
  I was like, okay, I'll look, I'll look at it.
• 32:41
  You know, cha-ching.
• 32:42
  I mean, it costs money like anything else.
• 32:44
  Yeah.
• 32:44
  And uh, I spoke to my coach and I'm like, well, what do you think about this?
• 32:49
  You know, and, and I'm like, possibility here.
• 32:51
  But it would get it out quicker, it would be affordable, and it would be across the globe quicker and sooner.
• 32:56
  Right.
• 32:57
  So what I did was.
• 33:00
  I gave her the framework.
• 33:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 33:02
  And I said, I want, you know, we put the quantum physics, we put neuroscience, we put in lp, we put, uh, heart math, licensed in heart math.
• 33:10
  We put my coaching framework that has been years of research and mm-hmm.
• 33:16
  You know, shifting and, oh, this doesn't work.
• 33:18
  Let me try something else, kind of thing.
• 33:20
  And I just said, we've just poured everything.
• 33:23
  And she asked a bunch of questions, which I was so grateful for.
• 33:27
  Mm-hmm.
• 33:28
  Hours and hours of development.
• 33:30
  But then we came up with, we actually called it the, my Mosaic originally.
• 33:35
  Okay.
• 33:36
  And I spoke to a license, an attorney,'cause I wanted to get it trans marked in company, of course, with my intellectual property.
• 33:42
  And, uh, he says to me, you know, there's a, that name has not been taken, however, it's gonna be lost in the crowd.
• 33:51
  What else can you do?
• 33:52
  And Tranquil Solutions has already trademarked.
• 33:55
  Use that as the umbrella.
• 33:56
  So we came up with a tranquil solutions clarity tool.
• 34:00
  What that is is it is a digital product, so it goes across your smartphone.
• 34:07
  So you can have Karen in your back pocket 24 7, you know, on the computer or on a pad or whatever your, you know, product is.
• 34:16
  But basically what it is, is it, it, it's there to support your decision making.
• 34:21
  It's there to support really tapping into your own intuitive.
• 34:25
  We have the answers, so it's.
• 34:27
  Tapping into your own knowing.
• 34:29
  So it's guided questions.
• 34:31
  We don't ask ourselves the right questions.
• 34:33
  Yes.
• 34:34
  So, you know, we think we know what we know, but then we start the patterns.
• 34:39
  Yeah.
• 34:39
  So it's geared for, I.
• 34:42
  Identifying after time, after usage, identifying the patterns, and then the accompanying journal, which is in the works right now.
• 34:49
  Nice.
• 34:50
  Well, once you start identifying the patterns, then well, can you build with that?
• 34:54
  Right.
• 34:54
  What do you wanna choose?
• 34:56
  Right.
• 34:56
  It's a choice to shift.
• 34:58
  'cause it's the good, bad, and the ugly.
• 34:59
  I mean, when I look at my good, bad, and ugly, it's like, oh.
• 35:04
  Do I really wanna, if I'm coming from love, is this a line thing because it's all about embodiment and alignment.
• 35:11
  Do I really wanna be that?
• 35:13
  Right?
• 35:13
  Well.
• 35:14
  It's scary to change that, but yeah.
• 35:17
  I mean, that feels, it doesn't feel good.
• 35:19
  Yeah.
• 35:19
  So what can I do to change that ugliness, right?
• 35:23
  Mm-hmm.
• 35:24
  It's not bad, it's just, you know, innate.
• 35:26
  I mean, we've been practicing this for six 60 some odd years, you know?
• 35:30
  Right.
• 35:31
  So, who do I wanna be?
• 35:33
  If I wanna bring.
• 35:35
  This and serve others in the world.
• 35:37
  I can't do that if I'm, you know, right.
• 35:39
  Holding up to it.
• 35:41
  So it taps into the inner wisdom.
• 35:43
  Um, it's, it really taps deep into the, I'm a deep person in this, as you can tell.
• 35:49
  Mm-hmm.
• 35:49
  It taps into the.
• 35:50
  Not just mine to get your answers that you have, right.
• 35:53
  I'm not going away, but to hiring me, you're gonna pay a lot of money to hire me over a period of time.
• 36:00
  Mm-hmm.
• 36:00
  Where with this, you have me in your back pocket, you know, if you choose to join the group, you know, you'll have me once a week answering your questions or you know, that kind of thing.
• 36:11
  Right.
• 36:11
  And I'm available now.
• 36:13
  I mean, if people reach out to me and ask a question, I'm going to answer it.
• 36:17
  You know, I'm not gonna say, oh, no, no, no, you gotta, but.
• 36:21
  Yeah.
• 36:22
  And, and what I really love about what you're saying is that, and this might not be, this might not resonate for you, but it is for me, right ne right now it's a guide on the side.
• 36:36
  So you are doing your reflection of you.
• 36:40
  It's not, I'm giving you this, so go and try this.
• 36:44
  It's your work.
• 36:45
  And I love the journal piece to it.
• 36:47
  So yes, because for me.
• 36:52
  I hired Oprah's coach after my divorce.
• 36:55
  I had, I didn't have a pot to piss in, but I had gone to this massive networking group and she was up on stage and I'm like, well, if it's good enough for Oprah, it's gotta be good enough for me.
• 37:04
  I dunno what I was thinking, but I hired this woman, she was outta California, and I'm sitting there listening to her and my mouth is like, and she's telling me what to do and how to do, and I'm like, I already had a mother.
• 37:14
  I don't need another mother.
• 37:16
  And what can I build with this?
• 37:18
  I don't wanna be that kind of coach.
• 37:20
  So it took me months to pay her off.
• 37:23
  And then of course she comes to me and says, uh, and at that time I was doing equine'cause I have horses.
• 37:30
  Yes, I was doing equine uh, trauma release.
• 37:33
  And well, this is what we're doing in Cal California and this is how we're doing it.
• 37:36
  And you need to do this, you need to do that.
• 37:38
  Da.
• 37:39
  And I'm like, I don't need to do anything.
• 37:42
  Right.
• 37:42
  It doesn't feel good for me, you know?
• 37:45
  So I always, always, always go back to the feeling nice.
• 37:48
  And before I paid her off, I said I wanna be people's guides.
• 37:53
  Hmm.
• 37:53
  I wanna teach them how to fish.
• 37:55
  I don't wanna sit there and string them along for a dollar'cause that doesn't feel good for me.
• 37:59
  Yeah.
• 38:00
  I wanna teach them how to empower themselves so they can empower not just themselves, but empower others.
• 38:06
  I.
• 38:07
  What a world that would be.
• 38:09
  Imagine that.
• 38:11
  That's why we're here, my dear.
• 38:13
  I love it.
• 38:15
  What an honor to have this conversation with you.
• 38:18
  Oh, so, so rich, is there anything you would love to leave our audience with as we close off our conversation today?
• 38:29
  Well, yeah.
• 38:30
  When you, you know, you have, you have it all within, you trust you because when you change the way you look at things, the things in your world will change.
• 38:40
  Yeah.
• 38:41
  Yeah.
• 38:42
  Thank you so much, Karen.
• 38:44
  What a gift to the world.
• 38:45
  What an opportunity to share space with you and time with you and gleam everything I could from our conversation with your beautiful wisdom.
• 38:55
  Thank you so much for doing what you do in this world.
• 38:59
  My name is Denise Drink Walter, the Midlife renewal coach, host of.
• 39:05
  Thrive after 45.
• 39:06
  It's been a pleasure to be in your community.
• 39:11
  I hope you've been listening.
• 39:12
  Please share a review if it resonates with you.
• 39:15
  We would love to hear how our conversations land for you and what questions continue to surface.
• 39:23
  As you listen and make sure you go and do something for you by you because of you today in the show notes, you'll get access to how to find Karen in the world and take care of yourselves.
• 39:37
  Everyone, have a wonderful day.
• 39:39
  Bye now.