Latest / SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions / 5 ways I model a healthy relationship with food to my kids while in a weight loss mindset

Transcript

5 ways I model a healthy relationship with food to my kids while in a weight loss mindset · SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions

0:00
Music.
0:39
I get asked all the time how I model a healthy relationship with food to my
0:44
girls while also being a weight loss coach.
0:47
Now, for me, the answer is because while weight loss is great,
0:51
our program is built on creating a healthier relationship with food in general.
0:57
We know that that's when the weight loss lasts, right?
1:00
But for ladies who had mothers who were always on the next fad diet,
1:05
I know that this is a huge concern.
1:07
So today I'm sharing my five musts for creating a space for myself and my children
1:13
that encourages food freedom and healthy eating. Let's get into it.
1:18
Okay, y'all, I am so passionate about this topic.
1:22
Like I did a story about it a couple weeks back. And I mean,
1:27
the story was like a 10 minute story.
1:28
So I like it was like 10 one minute blips on Instagram.
1:33
But I love it so much. And honestly, it's because this is something that I have
1:39
learned a lot about myself in like in the process.
1:43
So I will say that, you know, coming from a nutrition background,
1:49
you know, going to college for dietetics, getting my master's and my undergrad
1:53
in nutrition, like there were some practices and there were some principles
1:56
that were put into my brain.
1:59
Like, this is right and this is wrong. This is what we do eat.
2:02
This is what we don't eat. And, you know, very science-based.
2:06
You know, things. But what didn't come is the emotional aspect.
2:12
Okay, we didn't learn hardly anything about intuitive eating or,
2:16
you know, emotional eating or anything like that.
2:18
And so when I became a mother, that's when I really first,
2:24
my eyes were pretty open to, you know, specifically like emotional eating and
2:30
literally not having time to give a rip about meal prepping,
2:34
you know, the healthy lunch to take to work anymore and things like that.
2:39
And then as my kids got, you know, as they became kids and they were sitting
2:42
at the dinner table and fighting back on the greens that I, you know,
2:47
had prepared for that dinner, I started to realize, okay,
2:51
like I have to approach this differently for them because beating it into Sarah
2:58
Mason's two-year-old brain that she has to eat her broccoli wasn't working.
3:03
And everyone was crying, you know?
3:07
But also me being who I am, me being like stubborn,
3:10
I refused to be the mom that was going to serve like chicken nuggets and french
3:14
fries every night as the family's meal number one or like make separate meals for my children.
3:22
Now, if that's you and you're in that phase of life, okay, like we all do what we got to do, right?
3:28
But because nutrition was like such a passion of mine, it just,
3:32
it felt unheard of for me.
3:34
So we have come a long way at the Shelby household, especially through food
3:40
allergies and food aversions and texture issues with Sarah Mason.
3:44
And honestly, Jess too, he has some texture issues.
3:46
And so I wanted to just share my perspective and how some practices.
3:52
You know, I've tried a lot of things that I've let go of, but I've tried a lot
3:55
of things that I fully believe in.
3:58
And so I'm going to share those with you today. But I do want you to keep in
4:02
mind that this rhythm is gonna look different for each family, okay?
4:05
We each have our own personalities in the family dynamic.
4:10
We each have our own schedules and just different things that makes us a unique family, right?
4:16
And so I wanna encourage you to take everything I say with the wisdom of you
4:21
know what's best for your family,
4:23
you know what will work for your family and
4:27
you know you don't have to try all these at once you could try one at a time you could try
4:30
half of one at a time you know and just see how you feel about it
4:32
so my first way that I like to model a healthy relationship with food to my
4:38
kids is involving them in the food okay and again this can so for some of us
4:44
that can bring like you can oh girl did your heart start beating faster you
4:47
know thinking about bringing your three-year-old up in the kitchen with you after a long day at work.
4:52
It is a real thing to consider.
4:55
But I will say that.
4:58
This has been very beneficial in exposing them and making them feel comfortable with food, okay?
5:06
So while I do want my kids trying new things all the time, right,
5:10
and that's part of it, right, I also don't want them dreading dinner every single night, okay?
5:18
And so how I involve them is I ask them for dinner ideas, okay?
5:25
I'm like, hey, mama's planning dinner for next week.
5:28
What are some things y'all want? And then I always try to at least take one
5:32
idea from them, you know.
5:34
And then I also let them help me however they can in the kitchen and at the
5:40
grocery store to follow through with the meal plan, okay?
5:44
So it can look as simple as running by the grocery store after you pick,
5:49
you know, Johnny up for daycare and saying, hey, Johnny, we're going to have
5:54
broccoli for dinner on Wednesday.
5:57
Will you help mom pick out the best looking broccoli that we can find?
6:03
Right. And so then they're involved and it can be just that simple.
6:06
It does not have to be, okay, now, Johnny, we're going to come home and we're going to chop it.
6:10
Mama's going to show you exactly how I do this with it and et cetera,
6:14
et cetera. It just depends on Johnny and his level of interest and where he is right now, okay?
6:18
If he's going to throw that broccoli across the room at you,
6:20
then the grocery store is a good start, right?
6:23
But what this has done for both of my children is really help them feel more
6:29
comfortable, not only at the grocery store, but in the kitchen,
6:33
and then in turn, trying the foods.
6:35
And if you caught our garden podcast a couple weeks back, we talked about that also,
6:40
just, you know, how having a garden and having the kids out there really tending
6:43
to it and watching it grow really makes them take ownership in that food and
6:48
want to follow it all the way through by eating it, right?
6:53
And so recently, Sarah Mason, this was really, I mean, every time something
6:56
like this happens, I'm like, oh, such a win.
6:59
We were at the grocery store and Sarah Mason saw pomegranates because it is,
7:02
it's, we're, I think we're wrapping up pomegranate season, but it's been pomegranate season.
7:06
And so she saw a pomegranate and she was like, what is this?
7:11
You know, like, why is it so heavy? And how do you even eat it?
7:14
And so I was like, let's buy it. Let's, let's see, you know?
7:17
And so then I showed her how we cut it open and how we get the seeds out.
7:21
And she decided she really likes pomegranates, right? And I'm like, of course you would.
7:25
The, the hardest fruit to, to peel and eat, you know?
7:30
But it, that is just, you know, again,
7:34
Could she decide next week that she hates pomegranates? Yes.
7:37
And she is, she might, you know, knowing her track record.
7:40
But at the end of the day, the hope is, is that maybe when she's,
7:45
you know, a few years older, she'll say, hey, mom, remember when we had those
7:48
pomegranates? Can we try one again?
7:50
Okay. And then maybe a few years after that, when she's, you know,
7:53
getting ready to go off to college and she will maybe want to buy a pomegranate
7:56
and have, you know, a piece of fruit.
7:58
Like, you know, maybe when she gets married and then, you know,
8:00
maybe pomegranates will eventually become a staple in her diet. I don't know, right?
8:06
But the point is to make her, number one, aware with the food item and number two,
8:14
comfortable with the food item so that eventually if she decides that she likes
8:20
it enough to make it something she consistently consumes, it feels easy, right?
8:25
No kid is, y'all, this is like, no 12-year-old boy is going to go out to a restaurant.
8:33
It could happen, but I'm just saying, it's not really the way it typically happens.
8:37
Like, a 12-year-old boy going out to the restaurant and trying to steam broccoli
8:41
at a restaurant and saying, oh, mom, I love this. Can we have this from here on out?
8:45
Like, it takes some time. It takes some exposure because our kids are rebellious.
8:52
They do want to push back. They do want to make their own decisions.
8:55
And food is a really big category that they choose to focus in on this, right?
9:02
And so another way that I just involve them with meals is I will tell y'all,
9:07
I always offer at least one thing that I know each of my children like.
9:11
I am not going to make a menu that includes, you know, a bunch of like butternut
9:19
squash and like tilapia and, you know, a bunch of things that neither of my children will eat.
9:24
And so that does make it tough because both of them have different preferences.
9:27
And it also makes it tough if you're one of those moms that's like,
9:30
okay, but my kid only eats chicken nuggets and french fries, right?
9:33
So yeah, that looks like if you're this, if you're that serious about it, right?
9:37
Like that looks like you making because you've already set that expectation for him.
9:42
Like he thinks he's getting chicken nuggets and French fries for dinner at night, every night.
9:46
And so what that may look like for you is saying, okay, Johnny.
9:52
We are going to try something different.
9:54
Mama is still gonna make you some French fries at dinner every night for a while,
10:00
but we are also going to have what mom makes for dinner for everybody else as well, okay?
10:07
So that means you get the, you know, poppy sea chicken or you get the roast that mom cooks, okay?
10:16
And you also get the green peas that comes, that everybody else has eaten.
10:20
But I'm going to have these French fries here for you too, okay? And so...
10:25
From there, you know, then we move into my next way that I like to model a healthy
10:30
relationship with food, which is no pressure.
10:33
Okay. No pressure. I do.
10:36
Unless you're, well, I'll get to that in a minute. Okay.
10:38
But we do want our kids to eat fruits and vegetables, right?
10:43
We do want our kids to, we want to go to bed knowing that our children are full. Okay.
10:49
But a lot of times we let the anxiety and the worry get the best of us.
10:54
Okay. Like we want to pressure our kids. Like you have to eat your fruit.
10:57
You have to eat your fruit or whatever it is on their plate.
10:59
You have to eat what's on your plate. You have to eat what's on your plate.
11:01
And then if they're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What do we end up doing?
11:05
Well, we end up panicking thinking, oh my gosh, Johnny's going to go to bed starving.
11:09
Let me fix him something else. Right.
11:12
And y'all, unless your child is like undernourished and the doctor has really
11:17
been pushing, you know, which there are a few of you out there that the,
11:20
you know, the doctor's like, you need to be, you know, making sure he's getting
11:23
extra calories and all this so that he's growing well.
11:26
For the most part, most of our children are going to be just fine if they have
11:31
one dinner where they only ate, you know, three French fries. Okay.
11:36
It's part of having children. And I know it's a stressful thing,
11:40
but if I could, if I had a dollar for how many of you have messaged me about
11:46
that, you know, about your kids not eating dinner, you know,
11:49
Whether it's a phase, whether it's a, you know.
11:53
Rebellion issue, like whatever it is, it happens to everybody. Okay.
11:58
And so just kind of keeping that in mind, we want them to eat the things on their plate.
12:03
Okay. But we don't want them feeling like mom is stressing over here because
12:10
that gives them the power, number one, if they're playing mind games with you, right?
12:14
But that also just makes for, it makes it more likely for you to just throw in the towel, right?
12:20
Okay, so that's one thing. But also, if you have to like...
12:28
Conform your diet. If you are like, okay, mom's going to stop eating carbs or
12:35
mom's going to stop having gravy on my rice or whatever it may be.
12:40
And this happens a lot with our fad dieters, right? At Perfect Fit,
12:44
we really don't encourage this. But if for some reason, right? Okay.
12:47
It is so important to not to assume that your family will too.
12:53
Okay. This is why I am so hard against exclusion diets for weight loss.
12:58
Number one is because we don't want like our like moms making their daughters
13:03
think carbs are bad, you know, by encouraging the whole family to do it, right?
13:07
We don't want to recreate maybe the mothers that some of you guys had, right?
13:10
We don't we don't want to reinvent that wheel by saying like carbs are bad,
13:14
we're going to cut it all out, right?
13:16
So we we do not want to pressure our children to think that they have to eat
13:19
like whatever crazy diet we're trying to eat like, right?
13:23
But number two, we really don't want this because we don't want you,
13:28
we don't want the mom to feel like they're suffering while the rest of the family
13:32
eats, you know, whatever it is, gravy on their rice or whatever.
13:35
This is like the number one reason, specifically mothers will quit a weight
13:42
loss program because it's not realistic.
13:44
Cooking separate meals is not realistic for the long haul when the only motivator
13:48
is weight loss. Now, if it's a food allergy, yes.
13:51
If it's a defiant child, maybe, but it'll be real stressful, sis.
13:55
But weight loss, no, it will not last. Okay, so it's what leads women to give up, right?
14:02
And so we want to just make sure there's as little pressure at the dinner table as possible.
14:07
So that means, you know, mom's not bringing out some super crazy healthy meal
14:13
that nobody wants to eat. But also mom's not forcing little johnny to eat his
14:18
plate and saying every five seconds When are you going to try your broccoli?
14:21
When are you going to try your broccoli?
14:22
You know, it's just coming to the table with the acceptance that you know what?
14:26
We're all going to make it through if Johnny doesn't eat his broccoli tonight,
14:30
you know, and better to not have the, you know, emotions and the stress.
14:35
And so this was one thing that I really had to learn when Sarah Mason was little.
14:39
I mean, I was just trying so hard to push her to eat dinner that we were promising
14:45
her the world on the back end. And so then what did that do?
14:48
That raised her expectation.
14:49
So we would say like, you know, you can't have dessert unless you eat 10 bites.
14:54
And so then she would go, mama, how many bites is this?
14:57
How many bites is this? Is it time for dessert yet? Like it made the entire
15:00
meal experience so stressful.
15:03
Okay, so on the same flip of that coin, my kids now always get dessert every
15:08
single night, regardless.
15:11
Okay, we do something called a no thank you bite, which is if it's something
15:14
on their plate that I know they don't really love, then I ask them to take one bite.
15:19
If they enjoy it, take another bite. If they don't, that's their no thank you
15:22
bite and they are done with that food item, right? Right. And then you move on.
15:25
But they now know that regardless, they don't have to earn their dessert.
15:30
OK, they get dessert, period. And again, me being the mother,
15:35
it's not like, you know, a huge bowl of ice cream with cookies on top.
15:39
Right. Like it's a decent sized portion of dessert, but it is just taking it's
15:44
taken that that again, that pressure away from dinnertime.
15:48
And a side note, it's actually like made sure that they don't put sweet things
15:54
on a pedestal because they have come to expect that they can have them.
15:58
You know, there's never like really a like, can I or cannot can I not have dessert tonight?
16:03
You know, it's just like, yeah, every night you're going to get dessert.
16:06
So it's really hard for me to explain, but my girls just aren't like always
16:11
thinking about the candy.
16:13
You know, I mean, they are children, so, you know, they do love the candy,
16:16
But I'm just saying it's a different mindset where we're all, we're often,
16:20
often Jess and I are throwing away like leftover Halloween candy,
16:25
leftover Valentine's candy, Lord, you know, like it's never something where
16:29
they're just like consuming it all because they don't know when they're going
16:32
to get it again, you know?
16:34
And so that's the same mindset that we try for our clients as well.
16:38
And so I would love like that, with that being said, like, I would love for
16:41
you to think about yourself on this one.
16:43
Like, can you say the same? Like, do you approach food with the mindset of earning delicious food?
16:51
Like, do you say like, I'm going to really just like starve myself all day so
16:57
that I can eat pizza and, you know, cake tonight?
17:01
Like, are you thinking about food, even if it's subconsciously,
17:05
like, are you thinking about food in that way where you're constantly ebbing
17:08
and flowing between earning it and, you know, restricting it?
17:12
Because that's not the greatest mindset definitely for our children to have, but us, right?
17:17
Okay, and so then my third step. Now, with that being said, you're like,
17:22
Constance, how are your kids not just like eating dessert all day long? Well, yeah.
17:26
We are the parents still, right?
17:30
And so we do want to encourage healthy food choices, but encouraging healthy
17:35
food choices is very different from discouraging, quote, bad food choices, okay?
17:42
We are really never wanting to use the term bad or good when we're talking about
17:47
food, okay? Or our children, just for that matter, right?
17:50
But we can explain why fruits and vegetables are helpful for their body, okay?
17:57
Nothing about weight or appearance, right? Or even like calorie needs or anything
18:01
like that needs to be mentioned here, right?
18:03
But it's just like spinach offers lots of great nutrients that helps keep our
18:10
bones strong and helps keep our skin healthy and helps keep our bellies full.
18:15
Like, you know, those are very different from spinach is low calories,
18:19
so it helps you be skinny and fit into your pants.
18:21
You know what I mean? That's very different. So it's our job,
18:24
right, as parents to teach our children to take care of themselves.
18:27
So just like we wouldn't let them go without taking a bath or go without brushing
18:32
their teeth. In the same sense, we cannot just like let them fill up on junk
18:36
because they feel like it because they're always going to choose the junk, right?
18:39
And so it is our job to just remind them why the healthy foods are healthy in
18:46
a manner that has nothing to do with body image, right? Like any of it, okay?
18:51
And so we'll talk about that a little bit more like with ourselves here later.
18:55
And so, but one thing that I do do is I think it's important to teach our children awareness.
19:00
I think a lot of us as kids had no awareness about food, about hunger cues,
19:05
about fullness cues, about just the way food can make our body feel.
19:11
And I think that is what has turned a lot of us into adults with the same problems.
19:16
And so when my kids are cranky after like going to a birthday party and,
19:20
you know, having a lot of like yummy sweets or whatever, I encourage them to
19:25
check in with their body, like see how your body feels.
19:28
Okay. Because oftentimes if they're coming off of sugar high and their brains
19:32
are like really tired from that and their bellies feel funny,
19:35
like I want them to make that connection on their own. Right.
19:39
And so it just serves as a reminder, like, yes, we love sugary foods and no foods are off limits.
19:46
But this is why we try to recognize when we're full so that we don't over,
19:52
you know, over consume and feel terrible, right?
19:55
And it's also why we try to eat those healthy foods too, because they help us
19:59
balance the way we feel and the way our bodies, you know, desire to feel.
20:05
And so an easy way, an easy way to like kind of nix some of the stress here if you have kids.
20:12
And I I mean, even like, you know, like Sarah Mason's, Sarah Mason's nine.
20:15
So like, and even preteens and stuff. An easy way is to just properly portion
20:20
bags of the, you know, splurge type snacks.
20:25
Okay. So that can just cut the, cut the, cut the stress. Like if your kids are
20:29
used to coming in and saying, mom, can I have some cookies for a snack?
20:33
Like that feels really hard to all of a sudden be like, no, we're going to start
20:36
eating healthy around here.
20:37
You know, like how many times have we, have we all done that?
20:39
Right. And so it's easier to just put two cookies in a small Ziploc bag and
20:46
say, sure, you know, go grab a bag of the cookies.
20:50
And then if you want something else, I can cut you, you know,
20:54
an apple or can, you know, grab you a couple slices of deli meat or whatever it may be. Right.
21:00
And so they're getting the cookies and there's less likelihood of distress from you.
21:05
Right. And the pushback from them. And you don't have to really dive as far
21:09
deep into explaining like why you're cutting it out completely, if that makes sense.
21:15
And a guide that I really like, and I was hesitant to mention this here,
21:19
but I do think it can be helpful for some families. And it's called the Go Slow
21:22
and Woe Guide. You can Google it.
21:24
It's a decent tool, right? It's helpful for teaching people.
21:29
What foods you can just, you know, you really need to be focusing on eating
21:33
most of the time, which is go.
21:34
The slow foods obviously are foods that, you know, more moderation.
21:37
And the woe foods are just every now and then kind of foods.
21:42
I would say that you should be the one to implement this mentality.
21:46
Like don't just hand your teenager this printout because, again,
21:50
I think it just requires discernment of the parents on how they want that message
21:54
to come across to their children.
21:56
Now, I will say one thing that I use with both of my kids, and I've started
22:00
this when Glory was really young, is I ask them, is it your tongue or is it your tummy?
22:06
Okay, when they want more, right? When they say, Mom, can I have another cookie, for instance?
22:12
Or Mom, can I have, you know, seconds or whatever?
22:15
And there's no shame around this. It's just an encouragement.
22:19
Sarah Mason, you want seconds for dinner, okay? Is it your tongue or is it your
22:24
tummy that wants the seconds? Okay, because if you're still hungry.
22:28
That's one thing, right?
22:29
But if it just tastes good, that's another thing.
22:33
Now, I will be clear, we hardly, unless it's just, you know,
22:36
something crazy, we hardly ever say no, regardless of what their answer is, right?
22:42
But, you know, the portion might be a little bit less. And the point is,
22:45
is to deliver the message that yes, foods taste good, okay?
22:48
And so we're going to go back for seconds because it tastes good.
22:52
But I want you to stay in tune with your tummy and see if it feels a little
22:56
more uncomfortable because you ate past full just out of that,
23:01
you know, craving, okay?
23:03
And so again, there's no shame. There's no true like, now let me tell you about
23:08
your tongue versus your tummy.
23:09
Like none of that, none of that. It's just like something that is encouraging
23:12
them to think, right? Think about their body.
23:14
Get in touch with their body, which I mean, we as adults really need to be asking ourselves still.
23:20
Because if we have not properly trained ourselves to check in with our body
23:24
physically, it, I mean, it's what leads obviously to overconsumption,
23:30
but it also leads to us just feeling miserable after we eat.
23:34
So again, encouraging the healthy foods. I mean, there are going to be times
23:37
you're going to have to tell your kid or their grandparent or whatever to just
23:40
chill on the sugar, right?
23:42
But if you have created this consistent flow of how to speak around the healthy
23:47
foods, and they know what to expect most of the time, right?
23:51
Then those times you have to tell them, you know, no more, no more,
23:56
whatever it is, won't scar them for life, hopefully, right?
24:01
Okay, and then my next one is trying to never speak negatively about myself, okay?
24:11
And so So this one's tough, right?
24:15
Because as human beings, it is natural for us to kind of think negative thoughts, right?
24:21
And for some of us, it's worse than others as far as like our negative thinking.
24:27
But our kids are sponges, okay?
24:32
And so they find themselves so confused. Like when we say negative things about
24:37
ourselves, like I'm fat or I can't eat that because I'm on a diet or whatever.
24:43
Like when we say negative things about ourselves, they're confused, right?
24:48
Because to them, they're like, oh wait, but she's my mom.
24:51
And like, regardless of how they may act towards us sometimes,
24:55
right? Like they do put their parents on a pedestal. And so in their eyes, we're perfect.
25:00
And so if we are constantly trying to convince them that we're not perfect,
25:05
if we're constantly trying to convince them that like something's wrong with us,
25:10
you know, I mean, I think it's healthy to say like, mom's not perfect either,
25:13
you know, in a general conversational way, especially when you have to apologize or whatever.
25:18
But I'm talking about you just walking around all the time being like,
25:20
my butt looks so bad in these jeans and I shouldn't have ate that.
25:25
I'm never going to lose weight.
25:26
Like I'm talking about those kind of statements, y'all.
25:29
When we are constantly saying those things and they're constantly hearing them,
25:33
a lot of kids find themselves confused because it's like, but I don't understand.
25:39
And also I ate the ice cream.
25:41
Like mom said she shouldn't eat the ice cream because she's going to get fat, but I ate the ice cream.
25:47
So am I going to be fat? Okay. So it becomes this ruminating theme for them.
25:53
Okay. until they start to convince themselves, well, my mom said eating ice cream makes me fat.
25:59
And so I'm eating ice cream and I'm fat, okay? And if you think back,
26:04
This can be like generational things, you know what I mean?
26:09
Like there are a lot of women out there that have eating issues,
26:13
whether it's binge eating in secret or whether it's restriction or whether it's
26:20
just an abnormally obsessive, you know,
26:23
tendency about body image in general, like, you know, whether you're overweight
26:28
or whether or underweight, you know, if you look back in your lineage,
26:33
Apple may not have fallen too far from the tree, right?
26:37
And so this is something that we as mothers, I feel like this is my end-all, be-all, number one tip.
26:44
Like, we have got to stop this, okay?
26:48
And one of the greatest ways to do that is, of course, by working on yourself, right?
26:54
Like, working on how to handle the negative thinking, how to reframe your mindset,
27:00
working with a therapist, okay?
27:04
But if that's not your cup of tea, then baby, you're gonna have to figure out
27:08
how to manage it on your own, okay? But not in front of your children.
27:13
We, like, speaking about your physical appearance or speaking about your food
27:20
choices in a negative manner in front of your children is a no-go, okay?
27:27
And so that is where we start, right?
27:30
That is where we start amongst everything else that I've talked about today,
27:34
because we just do not want to set our daughters up to maybe believe some of
27:40
the things we might believe about ourselves.
27:42
And we don't want to set our sons up to have like expectations for their future
27:46
wife, you know, that may not be accurate. And so.
27:50
I know we all struggle with body image. We all are like, oh, look at my booty.
27:54
You know, it needs to be more perkier. Look at my belly. It's getting round.
27:57
Or like we all have these thoughts.
28:00
And sometimes we say them seeking validation or we just say them like unknowingly
28:06
because we have thought it so much that it just rolls out of our mouth.
28:11
And so getting a grip on that is such a good thing to do, you know,
28:18
to in turn help our children have that better relationship with food. Okay.
28:24
And so, yeah, again, remembering like it's the same thing with the food.
28:26
We do not put labels on food. Okay.
28:29
We do not say I am not eating that because I'm trying to lose weight or I'm
28:33
not even like my ladies that are tracking their intake.
28:35
We do not need to explain that we are not going to eat, you know,
28:40
the drive-through ice cream because it has too many calories and it won't fit.
28:44
And you've made your decision today that, you know, it's not worth it,
28:48
right? Because we talk about like, is it worth it or not? We talk about that a lot.
28:51
And so if you've made that decision and you're proud in that decision,
28:55
right? And you don't feel shame and you don't even feel like having no ice cream, really.
28:58
You know, like even when those things are in occurrence, we still don't have
29:03
to announce to our family that that's why we've made the choice,
29:07
okay? Because it won't fit in my calories today.
29:09
And I'm really trying to save up so I can have pizza and ice cream this weekend.
29:12
Like nobody needs that. No one needs that explanation, okay?
29:15
You can keep all that to yourself and you know what you can say.
29:18
No, thanks. No, thanks.
29:22
Mom's not really that hungry. Mom just doesn't really feel like eating ice cream right now, right?
29:27
Because then that also teaches our kids that we don't have to eat the sugar
29:30
every time it's around, right?
29:31
Like that's just a second bonus all the time. I'm like, no, thanks.
29:36
Mom's going to have a bite or two of dad's and then I'm going to be too full. Okay.
29:41
The end. No one needs the explanation. We're the parents, right?
29:44
They don't need to know why, right?
29:46
And then my last one is going to be, as you know, with everything around here,
29:51
y'all, just the grace, okay?
29:53
Because I know so many of us are going to get off of this podcast and be like,
29:58
hey, I'm about to try some of these things.
30:00
I'm going to try to make some changes. I'm going to try even just speaking more
30:03
positively or not speaking negatively about myself or food. Like,
30:06
I'm going to really work on that.
30:07
And then we're going to slip, you know what I mean? And then we're going to
30:11
feel really bad about it like we're.
30:13
We're going to or we're going to lose our temper at the dinner table and we're
30:16
going to feel really bad about it.
30:18
You know what I mean? And so just remembering like this is a marathon,
30:22
not a sprint, like a healthy relationship with food is not something,
30:26
number one, that's instantaneous.
30:28
And number two, it's really something that we'll be working on our whole lives, right?
30:32
Like I have been I have owned Perfect Fit for nine years now,
30:37
but my relationship with food nine years ago was not near as good as it is now.
30:42
And I'm hopeful that nine years from now, it'll be even better.
30:46
You know, it's a constant journey where we're making a choice to,
30:51
you know, do one or two things in our day or to kind of change our mindset about
30:55
one or two things in our day. And then it becomes kind of mundane.
30:58
You know, we're putting one foot in front of the other. We're just,
31:00
you know, kind of sticking by our guns and trying to change our mindset or trying
31:05
to, you know, hold our tongue if we need to or whatever it may be.
31:09
And so it's not like you get to the end of the week and you're like,
31:11
I am awesome. I have such a healthy relationship with food now, right?
31:15
It's only down the road when you put one foot in front of the other,
31:19
when you keep, you know, keep just walking in that same direction,
31:22
just even if it's a crawl, you're walking, baby.
31:24
You know, you're going in that right direction.
31:27
But then after a while, you look back and you say, oh my gosh,
31:30
look at how far I've come.
31:33
Look at how differently I'm speaking about food around my children than maybe
31:37
my mom or my grandma, you know, look at look at what a much like how much more
31:42
peaceful dinner time is now around food, like just whatever it may be.
31:47
Okay. And so that my grace, we just got to have it because we gonna mess these
31:52
up, y'all. And I still do. I still do.
31:55
I know a couple I can't remember. I
31:58
Oh, I was in the kitchen. It was a couple weeks ago. And I mentioned on last
32:01
week's podcast, I am, I move so fast in the kitchen and I tend to be like pretty clumsy too.
32:07
And so I, I dropped something or I spilled something and I said,
32:14
I said something out loud like, oh, mom is such a mess.
32:18
And it was kind of out of like joking, but it kind of, I was like kind of frustrated
32:23
too. And Glory, my five-year-old, was like, Mama, don't talk about yourself like that, you know?
32:29
And so I am still out there making these same exact mistakes.
32:33
And I think we all will, you know?
32:35
And so the main goal is to just try to do better next time, you know?
32:40
Get over it. Don't beat yourself up for it, but just keep trying to do better,
32:44
you know? And I looked at her and I'm like, Glory, girl, you're right.
32:46
You're right. Mama is awesome.
32:48
Mama just needs to slow down sometimes, you know? And so just kind of coming
32:53
at this with that mentality if you finish this podcast and feel like,
32:57
okay, I've really got to maybe change the way we think about food around our home.
33:04
So anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Again, this is one of my favorite
33:08
topics. So feel free to reach out to us if you want to talk about it a little bit more.
33:12
But as always, and especially at that dinner table, y'all remember to say grace.
33:17
Thank you for listening to today's episode of Say Grace Podcast.
33:19
Music.
33:22
If you enjoyed it, it would mean the world to me if you left me a five-star review.
33:27
Also, make sure to follow the show so you don't miss another episode.
33:32
Plus, if you're interested in learning more about losing weight and eating the
33:36
foods you love, make sure to follow the show so you don't miss another episode.
33:37
Music.