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The Missing Link: Unlocking True Emotional Availability · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for August 12, 2026 The Missing Link Unlocking True Emotional
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  Availability What does it mean to be emotionally available to your spouse?
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  It's a vital part of a happy, healthy marriage, but it's not talked about much.
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  It's sort of assumed everyone understands what it is and how to do it, but that is not the case.
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  If you grew up in a family that was not emotionally available,
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  you didn't experience it, and you were not taught how to do it.
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  If there was abuse or addiction in your family of origin, there probably wasn't
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  much, if any, emotional availability.
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  But families without these issues can also have low emotional availability.
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  Maybe your parents didn't learn it when they were growing up.
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  Maybe struggling to make ends meet, being in a bad marriage,
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  or being a single parent left little time or energy to be emotionally available.
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  Another problem is men who were taught or learned that emotions are weak,
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  silly, or not to be trusted.
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  This is not a biblical view, and science shows it hurts us and those close to us.
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  In simple terms, being emotionally available means you are able to connect on an emotional level.
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  And just as having sex once in a great while is not enough, only making an emotional
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  connection on occasion is not enough.
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  Doing it well means being able to be there when your spouse most needs emotional connection.
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  That will usually be when they have experienced strong emotions or someone they
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  care about is dealing with strong emotions.
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  Another definition that may make more sense for you is that emotional availability
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  means being able to share your internal world with your spouse And engage with
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  them as they share their internal world with you,
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  One of the prerequisites for emotional availability is being in touch with your own emotions,
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  You can't share what you don't feel, and you can't receive from your spouse
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  if you are close to your own emotions,
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  If this is you, it may take some time and effort to change Get help if necessary,
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  Being able to share your internal self does not mean dumping on your spouse
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  Furthermore, you need to be able to do it without getting upset or withdrawing
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  immediately afterwards Connecting emotionally is not a momentary thing It's a way of life,
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  Empathy certainly helps, as it can tell you when you need to reach out But being
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  willing is huge, and with practice you can build empathy,
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  Learn to listen more than you talk And while what your spouse feels might not
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  be connected to reality They still feel it, and you need to validate that As
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  a starting place, ask your spouse daily how they feel.
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  Ask about the high and low points of their day Give them time to think and share
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  And be ready to share about your feelings Don't try to fit this into a few minutes Allow half an hour,
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  Also realize that as you haven't been emotionally available Your spouse may
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  flood you at first As they make up for not having what they need Give them time to normalize,
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  This is Paul, and real men are not afraid of their wife's tears.