Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Void Your Vacation Days
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Out of everybody in this room, who would be the
- 0:02Speaker 1: worst HR person. I'm just gonna say it.
- 0:08Speaker 2: I didn't want to be selfish, but I was going
- 0:09Speaker 2: to say no offense to that.
- 0:11Speaker 1: But that's why we had him pose as an HR rep.
- 0:15Speaker 1: And today he calls an office worker who's been nervous
- 0:17Speaker 1: about layoffs. We want him to know he is fine,
- 0:21Speaker 1: His job is safe. It's just corporate is making some
- 0:25Speaker 1: changes that are quote in the best interest of the company. Yeah,
- 0:30Speaker 1: I'm sure he'll understand. In your phone tap right now?
- 0:39Speaker 2: Hello, good morning? Hi is this Phil? Yeah? This is Phil.
- 0:44Speaker 2: Who am I speaking to? Hey Phil? My name's Heywood Jabebloni.
- 0:48Speaker 2: I work in human resources. How are you doing today?
- 0:51Speaker 2: I'm fine? Thanks? Oh just fine? Huh. I was hoping
- 0:56Speaker 2: you were going to be in a better mood than
- 0:58Speaker 2: just fine before I told you this news. No, I'm
- 1:01Speaker 2: in a good mood. What do you want to tell me?
- 1:03Speaker 2: Why are you calling? Well, you probably heard that we're
- 1:07Speaker 2: reducing our workforce, right Oh oh my god. No, no, no, listen,
- 1:15Speaker 2: before you get ahead of yourself, You're not getting laid
- 1:18Speaker 2: off or anyone in your division. All your jobs are safe. Okay,
- 1:22Speaker 2: take a deep breath. Okay, I was kind of worried
- 1:24Speaker 2: for a second there.
- 1:25Speaker 1: Oh, sorry about that.
- 1:27Speaker 2: No, you're you're fine. We're just taking all your vacation
- 1:29Speaker 2: days away. What Yeah, you typically have around what twenty
- 1:37Speaker 2: twenty vacation days? I see here? Right? Yeah, by Friday,
- 1:41Speaker 2: you'll have zero. How does that make any sense? Well,
- 1:46Speaker 2: I means you would agree this is a tough time
- 1:49Speaker 2: for the company. Yeah, well sure, I understand those things. Well,
- 1:54Speaker 2: if you're saying that, think about hard it is for
- 1:56Speaker 2: the people above you getting paid way way way more.
- 2:00Speaker 2: Those guys are stressed. I'm the ones who's stressed, like
- 2:05Speaker 2: pycheck to paycheck. Well, sure, I mean it's it's tough
- 2:08Speaker 2: for everybody right now, but especially for the guys at
- 2:12Speaker 2: the top.
- 2:13Speaker 1: What are you about with so much uncertainty?
- 2:16Speaker 2: They can't even golf more than twice a week, think
- 2:19Speaker 2: about it. That's why recently they all met and said, hey,
- 2:25Speaker 2: how can we help this company and take a tax
- 2:28Speaker 2: free vacation to the Bahamas. What a vacation? Oh? Sorry,
- 2:34Speaker 2: a tax free vacation to the Bahamas? Back free vacation
- 2:38Speaker 2: for them? I know, right, It's it's a tricky thing
- 2:40Speaker 2: to do, and so this is why they got creative.
- 2:43Speaker 2: The accountant said, it has to be on the company dime.
- 2:47Speaker 2: So if you take all the employees' vacation days away,
- 2:50Speaker 2: we can legally ride it off, the whole thing, including
- 2:54Speaker 2: the alcohol. The joke, right, I mean it sounds like
- 2:58Speaker 2: some kind of freaking joke. Oh no, it's not. Hey,
- 3:02Speaker 2: we appreciate your sacrifice. Don't think you're going unappreciated. Friends.
- 3:07Speaker 2: I'm not sacrificing anything. You took it away from me,
- 3:11Speaker 2: well I didn't give it again. We appreciate and understand
- 3:15Speaker 2: everything you've done. No, that's why, as a token of
- 3:18Speaker 2: the company's gratitude, you and everyone in your division will
- 3:22Speaker 2: receive four small chocolates in a plastic box. How does
- 3:27Speaker 2: that help. It's not going to be available to Christmas
- 3:31Speaker 2: because that's what we get the discount. Oh, it's unbelievable.
- 3:34Speaker 2: I know you'd be excited. What's wrong with you? Chocolates?
- 3:39Speaker 2: Small chocolates. I have to I don't want you to
- 3:41Speaker 2: think they're like bars. They're just like bite sized chocolates.
- 3:45Speaker 2: Fit is not right. I cannot lose my vacation days
- 3:50Speaker 2: because corporate wants to get hammered in the Bahamas. And
- 3:55Speaker 2: I get four lousy chocolates. That is one part I
- 3:58Speaker 2: didn't tell you. It's just the Bahamas. We're also going
- 4:02Speaker 2: to the Virgin Islands. Please, Oh wait a minute, why
- 4:05Speaker 2: are you saying, Lee, you're not going on the trip
- 4:09Speaker 2: you're in human resource? Oh yeah, I didn't mention that part.
- 4:12Speaker 2: They're bringing HR. I have never been outside the country.
- 4:15Speaker 2: I couldn't be more excited. They're just gonna leave us
- 4:18Speaker 2: here with nothing and lost days. And don't be thinking
- 4:23Speaker 2: you can use your sick days to get time off.
- 4:25Speaker 2: We put a temporary freeze on that. Now you need
- 4:28Speaker 2: to email us if you think you're gonna be sick
- 4:30Speaker 2: at least a month in advance. How do I know
- 4:33Speaker 2: what I'm gonna get? I won't be checking my email
- 4:35Speaker 2: though I'll be in the Bahamas or the Virgin Islands.
- 4:38Speaker 2: I don't know. Personally, I agree, I would blame this
- 4:43Speaker 2: on Keisha. She's the one who set you up for
- 4:45Speaker 2: all of this. Tisha, Why I ain't see going on
- 4:48Speaker 2: that trip through without many She'd definitely like to, but
- 4:51Speaker 2: she decided to do a prank phone call on you instead,
- 4:53Speaker 2: which I appreciate. What are you talking about, idiots? Because
- 4:57Speaker 2: this is actually Jose for the raidershow Brook and Jeffrey
- 5:00Speaker 2: the morning, we're doing a phone tap on you man,
- 5:02Speaker 2: No way, Yes, he just said, here's got a lot
- 5:07Speaker 2: of tension in the office lately because of layoffs, so
- 5:09Speaker 2: she wanted to lighten the mood. I cannot believe he
- 5:13Speaker 2: did this. Hilarious neither. Oh you know what you need?
- 5:18Speaker 2: You need a vacation. You met Bahamas tomorrow. What do
- 5:21Speaker 2: you say. I guess we'll have to go quick because
- 5:24Speaker 2: you're taking all my vacation days. We got the Friday,
- 5:27Speaker 2: gotta go all right, Well, truth is I probably belong
- 5:30Speaker 2: more in the Virgin Islands because I'm a Virgin. You
- 5:34Speaker 2: get okay, I'm gonna stop the frank phone call now,
- 5:36Speaker 2: this part isn't funny. Wake Up Every morning was phone
- 5:41Speaker 2: taps weekday mornings on the twenties, frooking Jeffrey in the morning,