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Why Evenings Are the Hardest Part of the Day (When You're Trying to Lose Weight) · FitMitTuro Fitness Podcast

• 1:08
  Turo Virta: Hello, hello, and welcome back to the podcast.
• 1:16
  Turo Virta: Today, I want to talk something about many, many people struggle, but rarely talk about openly, and that is evenings.
• 1:26
  Turo Virta: It's not mornings, it's not lunch time, it's evenings.
• 1:29
  Turo Virta: Because if you ask most people how their day went with the food, the answer is often the same. I did well all day long, and then in the evening happened something that I didn't really like. Maybe you planned healthy meals. Maybe you were drinking enough water, maybe you went for a walk or worked out, or you have been active. But then dinner comes, or evening time the house is getting quiet, you finally sit down, and suddenly snacks appear, chocolate, bread, wine, chips, and afterwards, you ask yourself, why did I how?
• 2:10
  Turo Virta: Why? Why do I lose control in the evening? Because even I was so good during the day, but in the evenings are almost impossible, and today I want to explain why evenings are so difficult and what you can do about it. So this is something, what I personally also struggle.
• 2:31
  Turo Virta: So it's often even, even if you know all these tools, it's still it's not going to be, I would be lying if I would say that it's I have figured this completely out, and it never happens to me, it still happens, and it is consistent struggle, and that's why I want to also not only talk to you, but also talk to myself as a reminder about these action steps, because this is an and the most important is to put these things into action, because even even you have all the knowledge, but you are kind of letting it go, even you know all the strategies, everything, it doesn't help. You have to put these strategies on place and start practicing. And it doesn't mean that it has to be every single night, but let's say that if you, if this happens to you five evenings out of seven or and, and the progress is that if it happens four times, maybe three times, maybe two times, it's it, don't it. The goal is never that you are it's you will never, ever struggle snacks in the evening or with the evenings anymore, but it's simply to reduce it and improve it. So I want to start with something very simple, so self control is not unlimited. Every decision you make during the day uses your mental energy. So you decide what to wear, you solve problems at work, you answer messages, you manage family responsibilities, and by the time evening comes, your brain is tired. Then this is called decision fatigue. And when decision fatigue increases, discipline decreases. And that's why people who are extremely disciplined during the day, often struggle the most in the evening, and they used all their energy already. And this is, this is what I personally, I'm, I'm a man. My wife is, he's obviously woman, so but if I think like that, all these decisions, like you have different kind of decisions, what you make, either you are conscious, conscious about your decisions, or you are not. But all these decisions and things, what you do during today is, for example, what kind of clothes you are wearing, right here comes difference between me and my wife. For example, I'm very simple person. I usually take clothes, what are on top of my closet, and I don't think about it. It's, it's, it's kind of easy. Also for me, I'm, I'm a personal trainer, and usually wear sport clothes even while I'm working. So I don't have it's one two pants, one two shirts, what I'm wearing. And it's not. I don't need a lot of different kind of things. It's and it doesn't. I'm not some guy who is looking what they are wearing. And instead of my wife, she loves it. She loves to think what she can wear, what is fitting together. And of course, that the difference is that she needs already, a lot of decision fatigue while making these decisions, my decisions come then later on, today and, and my goal is simply that I don't need to I. I want to save my decision energy for something else, answering messages, deciding what kind of workouts I'm doing, stuff like that. And, and this is also you can ask yourself that what kind of decisions you are making? Could there be something where you could be saving your decision energy if everything is kind of automated or you have, you have plan already ahead that you have, you know what you are doing, it helps a lot more than you believe that to reduce the decision fatigue and then other other reason why evenings are really difficult is stress. So during the day, most of you are busy works. Work is keeping your mind occupied responsibilities keep you moving, but the way, when the day slows down, something else happens. The stress finally slows up. And many people think that they eat because they are hungry, but often they eat because they finally feel the stress they ignored all day. So food becomes a quick way to relax, and the reason why it's helping to relax is that sugar, it's releasing dopamine, alcohol slows, slows the nervous system. Snacks create a temporary comfort, but the relief is only temporary, and afterwards guilt often replaces the comfort. So that is a very common and reason, and I definitely can relate. And if I really think my own days. It's, it is like, I used to do that.
• 8:13
  Turo Virta: This is definitely like, if, when everything is you are just go, go, go, go, whole day long.
• 8:19
  Turo Virta: And then in the evening you are what I'm when I'm watching Netflix or something. It's the time when you are like, kind of, it's like that, what is, what is like my brain is that, what should I be doing? That I should be doing something that I can't just be without doing anything.
• 8:39
  Turo Virta: So then it comes that when you are relaxed, stress is going away. What I have been ignoring, it's, it's like, because I don't like to use stress, it's like, maybe you have a lot of things to do, but I don't like to call it stress. It's just that, just you are on go mode all the time and and that is often the reason when, when you are your brain is seeing that you gotta be doing something, and when there is nothing else to do, then you replace that. And at least me, it's it's often you are tempted, then I should be just chewing something and, and that there are very, very different kind of strategies, what you could be doing and, I'm going to talk about those strategies a little bit later. But before getting into those strategies, often, other very common pattern I see with the clients is that is that when why people are overeating in the evening is that most of the people are eating very little during today. That is not my case, but, but for my clients, that is the often the reason is that you are skipping lunch. You are skipping or you are skipping breakfast or lunch or or maybe you are having just coffee in the morning, or having a light lunch. Or maybe some of my clients, they try to save calories for later, because they think that, you know, I'm going to go to eat pizza, or I have some social event in the evening, so I better not to eat too much before that event earlier on today, but your body is going to remember, by the time evening is arriving, the body is not negotiating anymore.
• 10:45
  Turo Virta: It wants energy. And when the body wants energy, it wants it quickly, and that's when bread, sweet snacks and alcohol feel most, almost always or impossible to resist. And it's not because you are weak, because your body is catching up and and what, what is then evenings, why they are lacking that structure. Because often during today, your schedule provides structure so you have, maybe your morning routine, whatever you do, you bring kids to school, you are eating your breakfast or skipping it. Going to work. You have certain things to do during the day, and breakfast are at certain time.
• 11:42
  Turo Virta: Lunch often happens at work or during the break, but evenings are different. There is more freedom, more time you have more food available, more opportunities to snack. And without structure, habits are filling the space. And for many people, the evening habit looks like this, that you are eating dinner, then you are going for a snack, then it's going to be some dessert, since then it's going to be something salty and then something sweet. Again, not because people are planning it, but because it's because the environment allows it, and because, if you are eating lunch somewhere in your work, you don't have there is not that structure or environment, whereas everything is available, maybe, like, at least here, when, if I go to eat lunch somewhere, it says that it's lunch, and then you make decision, are you Taking dessert or not? But there is not. There is missing that snacking all the time or before, after and and it's either, it's one two decisions, what do you make? And that is often the difference so and where is, what is then like, especially for me, when I think personally, what is, what is, why? Why this thing happens? If you you are like, I'm a person.
• 13:16
  Turo Virta: I eat a lot of huge breakfast, lot of fruits, everything and and I try to eat, also lots, a lot during lunch time. So my problem is not that I eat too little during today. It's either opposite, but, but when I, when I think that, why do I still snack in the evening, especially when I when I don't need it, it's often time when when people and myself, too, are finally wanting some kind of reward. So after a long day of all responsibilities, the brain is telling you that I deserve something, and food becomes the three part. It's fast, it's easy, it's available, but when food becomes the only reward in your day, then that is the problem, and what happens then when and when that is happening eating is are starting to revolving around eating, and that is also boredom. Like, like I talked earlier, it's either way. It's either reward or it's born as often what do, what your brain is looking for. And that reward is also also, like, there are many different ways. What we are going to talk about how you can get that reward, actually, without using food as a reward.
• 14:55
  Turo Virta: And so what you could be then doing, and often people are thinking like that, this is only about my discipline, and I just need more discipline. But the real solution is actually structure. So there are, I'm going to tell you a few things that help many people. And it's it's not that that you have to try to do everything of these things, but if you recognize yourself, maybe start with the one and then try to think that what could be, what I could be doing. And it's not that these things, even there are many of them, it's not that they are going to immediately help you.
• 15:36
  Turo Virta: But if you practice, it's like every skill what you practice, it's that more often you repeat.
• 15:45
  Turo Virta: It easier. It becomes and your body and brain start to actually recognize that there is now some change is happening. So pick Maybe one, maybe two, but not more than three, not in any case, but and keep repeating it for a while and see how it's affecting so solution is often is a structure. And like I said, that the first, first thing would be to eat enough during the day. So having real meals, three meals with protein, is a great starting point. Because if you like most people, what I see is that that is the first thing where I always get started when I work with the clients, I look what they are eating, how they are eating, because it's not that knowledge is often not a problem, that you know what you should be eating, but also when you are eating. So for example, if you don't, if you don't, if you like to skip, skip the breakfast, but then you should be at least getting some kind of protein snack. And missing protein during the day or earlier in the day is probably by far the most common reason why evenings, if it's if you feel like that you are still hungry later on, or you eat too much in the evening. It's by far the most common reason is lacking protein during today or earlier in today, and host it also it stabilizes your energy and it obviously helps those that with that evening hunger.
• 17:30
  Turo Virta: So second thing where I would get started is to plan your evening eating. Instead of telling yourself that I shouldn't eat anything, decide in advance what is realistic. So maybe dessert after dinner, maybe a plant snack, and you have a structure, and that is again, producing your cows. So some examples, what I what I was, I love sweets personally, and I often it's there is some kind of limitations. I tell you examples. What I have been using myself with some of my clients, too, is that you decide, for example, that what you are allowed to have and that it's not going to if it's going to be sweets, it's two cookies or one cookie, piece of cake, piece of chocolate, whatever. But there is some certain amount what you allow yourself to eat, and that's it, that then it comes again, discipline, but it's not all or nothing. Obviously, there are people who are telling that they are sweet addicts. So it might be better to try to avoid it completely, but also, or then find some alternatives which are also kind of sweet but not the real thing. So instead of sugar, having some berries or something, but deciding, making the decision already before, and if you are struggling with the snacks, we have, my favorite rule is to have some amount of, for example, calories. What you are allowing yourself, for example, it's 300 calories. So what I love to do is that I portion my snacks. So there is going to be I loved. I used the rule for myself. It's for me, was 300 calories. So it's either way you can have chocolate. That is not a huge amount of chocolate, what I can have. But with this amount, it's the where is it coming for the 300 calorie number, or whatever you decide, but it's if it's around then 20% of your total calorie intake. So for me, I in depending on my activity, but my PMR is around 253, 1000, depending on day, and 300 calories is around 10 frozen, maybe a little bit more of my total intake. And so it it still, it gives me still freedom, that I can have things what I really want, but that it's not going to be totally overboard and going way over. So if I have, I have it planned.
• 20:30
  Turo Virta: This is fortune for Monday, fortune for Tuesday, and there is always choice. So if you are hungry, like it could be, my snacks are, for example, Greek yogurt with strawberries, for example, or some other berries.
• 20:50
  Turo Virta: See some berries? What is available? So there is always it's there's so much volume. So if I'm hungry and I feel like that, I need to eat more. That is an option for those days. If it's like that, no, I want something really sweet for today, then it might be chocolate. It's obviously amounts are a little bit less.
• 21:11
  Turo Virta: They don't keep me satisfied, but they help. Then, on the other hand, that I'm not, I feel better having some sweet and it's it gives me always that freedom. And it's every day.
• 21:25
  Turo Virta: It's then that season, what is, what it is going to be on this day? So there are, those are my favorite strategies. So you are planning things ahead, making some kind of rules, what you allow to eat, and then third one is to change the environment. So if snacks are always on the table, visible, they will be in so if i i have some snacks available, visible all the time, it's matter of time before I eat them. But if they are, if they are somewhere, hidden in or I don't have them, it's very unlikely that I'm going to eat them. So because those small environmental changes can make huge, huge difference. And it's there are few interesting studies like that, if you think you're working place, if there is available all the time, like there is a bowl of chocolate or something else, or if there is an if there are visible apples, like whatever is visible, because it's not those cravings.
• 22:40
  Turo Virta: They come and go. And what you are seeing, you might not even be craving sweets, but as soon as you see that there is some bowl of chocolate to start to think that, oh, I actually would like to get some chocolate. So those are those things. Are really, it sounds stupid, but they are. They are really, they and they make huge difference.
• 23:04
  Turo Virta: You might not believe it, or maybe you have recognized it, but that's, that's how environment makes, actually huge difference how much you are eating. Then fourth is that if you, if you are you, you could be trying to build some evening rituals that are not about food.
• 23:28
  Turo Virta: This could be a walk, reading, stretching, tea, a short conversation with someone you care about because it's the goal is to give your brain other ways to relax than just watching TV and having your snacks or food.
• 23:48
  Turo Virta: So it says something. It could be some game or or whatever, whatever. But what is not only about food, because often it's it's just that your brain is associated with these things that they are there is some relaxation, and it means also some food and and there you can you could be trying to avoid these things to finding some other ways to relax. And there is one very important thing to remember, so evenings will never be perfect. Sometimes you will snack more than you planned.
• 24:28
  Turo Virta: Sometimes you will eat dessert, and often more than you planned.
• 24:33
  Turo Virta: And that's all known. The goal is never be perfect. The goal is to find some kind of stability, and because when your days are structured and consistent. One evening doesn't destroy progress. It might change the way how the scale looks next day, but it doesn't make in the long, long run, any difference.
• 24:57
  Turo Virta: And what I often tell to my client is this is that fat loss and health are not built in a perfect days, they are built in a consistent weeks and months.
• 25:14
  Turo Virta: If evenings are difficult right now, it doesn't mean that something is wrong with you.
• 25:17
  Turo Virta: Usually. It means something earlier in today needs adjustment. Maybe it's food, maybe it's stress, maybe it's structure, because those small changes early in the day often makes evenings much easier. So if evenings are the hardest part of your day, you are not alone.
• 25:40
  Turo Virta: This is one of the most common patterns I see start by adding structure instead of trying to control everything, Eat Real meals, plan realistic snacks, create small evening routines that help you relax, because consistency always beats perfect, and start one or two things what we talked about In this episode, and you will be amazed how much it's going to help you, and stick with that habit at least two weeks, and you will start to notice the difference. And if this episode helped you understand your evenings a little bit better, share it with someone who might need to hear it. And if you haven't been giving it five star review, I would be very, very grateful if you could leave a five star review, as those are helping so many people to find this show. And obviously, if you need any help with that or or workout program, check out my coaching options. Personal Trainer Turo that it and or shoot me email Turo at fit me turo.com and let's set how if I, if there is a way I can help you. Thank you so much for listening and talk to you in the next episode.