Latest / Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach / EP 22: The Midweek Reset: Feeling Guilt, Moms? Here's a Quick Mindset Shift

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EP 22: The Midweek Reset: Feeling Guilt, Moms? Here's a Quick Mindset Shift · Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach

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  Have you ever noticed that sometimes the guilt shows up before you've even done anything
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  wrong?
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  You say no to something.
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  You take a rest just for a few minutes.
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  You disappoint someone.
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  You forget something small and suddenly your brain starts acting like you've completely
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  failed as a mom.
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  Sometimes guilt isn't conviction.
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  Sometimes it's just conditioning and sometimes, honestly, moms are carrying responsibilities
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  that God never asked them to carry.
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  We are going to unpack this in this episode.
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  If you're tired of people pleasing, caring too much, and wondering why peace still feels
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  so hard to hold on to, you're in the right place.
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  Hi, I'm Lori, mom, former people pleaser, and your Boundaries coach.
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  Here we talk about how to protect your peace, set healthier boundaries, and get clear on
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  what actually matters so that you can build a life that feels lighter, calmer, and more
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  satisfying.
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  So let's stop the chaos for a minute, moms, catch our breath, and get into this next episode.
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  Welcome back to Healthy Boundaries for Moms.
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  This is your midweek reset.
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  And today it's going to be all about a quick mindset shift when you feel that mom guilt
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  start kicking in.
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  And I'm going to give you a very simple acronym to help you pause and to help you identify
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  what's really happening underneath this guilt and to help you make decisions from a place
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  of clarity instead of that panic that we feel.
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  So I think one of the biggest things we have got to realize as moms is that not all guilt
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  is conviction.
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  Sometimes it's conditioning.
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  So this is years of believing that good moms do everything and loving moms should never
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  disappoint anyone.
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  Strong moms, they don't need rest.
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  And selfless moms always say yes.
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  And eventually guilt, it's just what, automatic, right?
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  It just shows up and we carry it around.
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  And it's like a Jesus complex we're living with.
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  We begin acting like the little G God in our family's lives, because beneath all this,
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  we believe it's our job to hold it all together, to fix everyone's emotions, prevent all disappointment,
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  manage every possible outcome, and hold on to everyone's happiness every day.
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  But that pressure was never ours to carry.
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  There's a reason, guys.
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  God gave us only two hands, two legs, and 24 hours in a day.
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  We were never designed to do this work of like 10 people while emotionally carrying
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  all of our families around us.
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  And our limits, they're not flaws.
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  There's just reminders that we're human.
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  We're not God.
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  And when we live under that constant guilt, we start making decisions out of a panic and
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  reactivity instead of clarity.
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  So you're going to have to level with me here, moms.
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  This guilt turns into what we call catastrophizing.
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  You know what I mean when the one missed moment, that one disappointed child, one mistake,
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  one boundary, and suddenly our brains are jumping straight from, I'm ruining my child.
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  They're going to resent me forever.
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  I failed.
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  This is going to damage them.
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  They're going to end up on the street and homeless, right?
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  We can turn this one uncomfortable moment into like a 10-year life prediction in about
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  what, 30 seconds.
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  We go from I forgot spirit day to now my kid's on drugs, right?
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  I mean, I'm being extreme, but we do this.
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  We catastrophize.
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  But healthy parenting is not built on perfection, right?
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  It's built on love, consistency, repair, and presence, grace built over time.
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  And part of catastrophizing is believing that each moment completely determines our
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  child's future and we are losing perspective and we are not sovereign over our children's
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  lives.
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  God is.
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  We know this, but we don't know this.
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  You know what I mean sometimes?
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  So I want you to practice the pause reset.
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  This is an acronym for you to remember when that guilt starts rising this week, okay?
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  I want you to remember this quick reset pause.
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  It's P, which is pause.
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  It's before reacting or apologizing or fixing or rescuing or automatically shooting out
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  that yes, we're going to pause.
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  Don't let guilt make that decision for you.
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  The A in pause is acknowledge the red flag.
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  You're going to recognize this might be mom guilt talking here.
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  Notice the urgency, notice the panic, notice the fear of disappointing people.
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  So when you get that awareness, it will help you to break out of being on autopilot.
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  Okay, so the U is uncover the belief because underneath this, there is a belief, okay,
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  that is driving this guilt.
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  It might be good moms do everything.
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  It could be if someone's upset with me, I've done something wrong.
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  Or maybe I'm responsible for everyone's happiness.
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  Or how about rest is selfish.
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  Okay, moving on to S is speak the truth.
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  So you're going to replace that lie with the truth.
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  So you can try on some of these truths if they fit for you.
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  I can love my family without carrying everything.
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  Or disappointing someone is not harming them.
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  Or how about my worth is not based on performance.
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  God did not ask me to be everything for everyone.
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  Okay, so here's the E, evaluate through your priorities.
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  So this is going to be like a filter of sorts.
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  Before you make the decision, ask, does this align with my values?
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  Does this align with my priorities?
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  Am I acting from peace or am I panicking?
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  Is guilt making this decision for me?
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  That pause is going to create clarity.
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  So Jesus regularly stepped away.
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  He rested.
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  He disappointed people's expectations all the time.
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  There were sick people He didn't heal that day.
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  There were crowds wanting more from Him.
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  There were still people asking for His time and attention.
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  But we read that He rested, He withdrew, and He made space to be with the Father a priority.
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  Because constant availability is not the same thing as obedience.
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  And I think some moms need to give themselves permission to understand that you can love
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  your family deeply, and you don't have to keep putting yourself on that altar of guilt.
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  You can be a great mom, but still have limits.
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  These are not mutually exclusive.
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  You can be faithful and still rest.
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  And you can disappoint the people that you love, but still be walking in obedience.
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  And in Mark 6 31 it says, come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.
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  So honestly I just think some of us need to remember that rest and boundaries, human limits,
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  these were all part of God's design from the very beginning.
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  The goal isn't to never feel guilt.
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  The goal is just to stop letting guilt run your life.
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  Because sometimes the healthiest thing we can choose to do is to let someone be disappointed
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  and still be at peace with ourselves.
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  And sometimes the reset you need most is realizing guilt is not always telling you the truth.
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  Hey friend, I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
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  If so, would you take 30 seconds and go join our free Facebook page at Healthy Boundaries
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  for Moms?
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  That's where we go deeper, share what's actually working, and support each other in real life.
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  I will also share some great tools and tips to help you along this journey.
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  I have also included a link to sign up for our brand new weekly newsletter in the Facebook
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  group.
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  Don't forget to hit follow and leave a quick review on Apple.
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  It really lets me know that this podcast is helping you.
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  More importantly, it helps more women find this podcast.
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  Now go say no to something that's stealing your peace and say yes to something you actually
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  need.
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  And I'll meet you back here in the next episode.