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Transcript

The 5:1 Parenting Rule During Divorce: How to Protect Your Kids & Break Generational Cycles · Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce | Post Divorce Life

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Bent Not Broken.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: Heartbreak and trauma may feel like the end of your story, but here it's the beginning of a bold new chapter.
0:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Coach Deborah Griffiths, and this is the space where women rise, rebuild, and rediscover their purpose.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: Remember this truth.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: You are bent not broken.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Bent Not Broken, your bonus coaching session.
0:38
SPEAKER_00: In today's episode, we're going to unpack two transformational tools that can completely shift how you move through divorce, especially if you're parenting through it.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: So let's begin by talking about the five to one ratio.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: Malikta shared something powerful.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: It takes five positives to outweigh one negative.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: Let that sink in.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: When you snap at your child, when you're short because you're exhausted, when your stress spills over, it doesn't just disappear.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: But here's the good news.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: You can repair it.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: Five positives might look like a genuine apology, eye contact and presence, reading together, giving a compliment, a hug, or shared laugh.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: It's not about perfection, it's about intentional repair.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: Divorce is already destabilizing for kids.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: The five to one ratio restores emotional safety.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: And here's the deeper truth.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: This works in co-parenting too.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: Remember, five respectful interactions can neutralize one tense exchange.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: Now let's talk about the harder one.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: Owning your part.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: Let's face it, divorce hurts.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: And when we're hurt, we want someone to blame.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: But growth begins when we ask, what was my contribution?
2:18
SPEAKER_00: Not to carry shame, not to excuse someone else's behavior, but to grow.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you were reactionary.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you avoided conflict.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you tolerated what you shouldn't have.
2:33
SPEAKER_00: Ownership is power.
2:35
SPEAKER_00: And when you own your peace, you break generational patterns, you model accountability for your children, and you change the emotional climate of your divorce.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: And that's leadership.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: So here's a coaching question for you.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: Take a moment and reflect.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: Where have I been more negative than I realized?
3:00
SPEAKER_00: How can I intentionally create five positives today?
3:06
SPEAKER_00: And what part of my divorce do I need to own so I can grow?
3:11
SPEAKER_00: Remember, your children are watching how you handle things.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: You're not just surviving divorce, you're modeling resilience.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: Divorce can be destructive or it can be transformational.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: The difference?
3:28
SPEAKER_00: Intentionality.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: You are bent, but you are not broken.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: And I'll see you in the next episode.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to today's episode of Bent Not Broken.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: I hope that this episode reminded you that even through life's toughest moments, you are bent not broken.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: If this message inspired you, please share, rate, review, and subscribe, as it helps us reach more women who are ready to rise and rebuild.
4:01
SPEAKER_00: And until next time, keep living bold and walking in your purpose.