Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 629: Never Trust THIS Person During No Contact
Transcript
- 0:00Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
- 0:02I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
- 0:05you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
- 0:09This week I want to talk about the person that you should not
- 0:13trust during no contact. The more you trust them, the
- 0:18less likely you are to get your ex back.
- 0:20Who is this person? Stay tuned and you'll find out.
- 0:24But first I want to welcome back my beautiful No contact army.
- 0:27Have you downloaded my app Silencio to help you stay in no
- 0:31contact? Well if you have then I would
- 0:33really appreciate if you would leave a rating and or a review
- 0:37if you found the app helpful or even if you didn't find the app
- 0:40helpful. But most people find the app
- 0:42helpful and if you too would like to join our no contact
- 0:45army, it's very easy. All you have to do is hit the
- 0:48subscribe button and the bell notification and you're in.
- 0:53And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com where you
- 0:58can read 2 free chapters before you purchase the book.
- 1:02OK, so who is this evil person that you cannot trust during no
- 1:07contact? So I've already done a video
- 1:10about the person you should not listen to during no contact and
- 1:13I will put the link up here in the right hand corner on
- 1:16YouTube. But the person you can't trust?
- 1:21Well, go to the bathroom, the restroom, whatever you call it
- 1:26in your country, OK? And look in the mirror.
- 1:31See that person staring at you in the mirror?
- 1:34Yeah, that would be you. You cannot trust yourself.
- 1:38During no contact. Most people do the opposite of
- 1:42what they should be doing. They do the wrong thing.
- 1:44And that's why even if they have a chance to get their ex back,
- 1:47they don't. And I recently had two clients
- 1:52of mine not listen to me, which is why I'm making this video, so
- 1:57you can thank them for this video.
- 1:59So the first one, he was very anxious and he broke no contact
- 2:06even though I told him not to. And then I and of course things
- 2:10did not work out and I said OK, are you going to do things my
- 2:13way now? Yes, yes, yes.
- 2:15Well, not even 2 weeks went by and again broke it again.
- 2:21And I wanted to drop him as a client, but then I said OK, well
- 2:25I didn't give him a warning so I'm not going to drop him.
- 2:28But that's how serious I am about helping you people get
- 2:30their your ex's back. This isn't just a job for me.
- 2:34I want you to win. I want you to get your ex back.
- 2:39But I can't do it on my own because I can't stop you from
- 2:42breaking no contact. And so after the second time, he
- 2:46came back and said, you were right, I was wrong.
- 2:50And I said, well, now Are you ready to listen to me?
- 2:53He said yes, but I'm not so certain.
- 2:56And then the second client, what happened is that her ex actually
- 3:01said something significant to someone else, not to her.
- 3:06And this has never come up before, actually.
- 3:08So I'm glad I have this chance to talk about it because I
- 3:12always say you don't respond unless your ex says something
- 3:15significant. But then what if they say
- 3:16something significant to someone else?
- 3:20The answer is no, you do not reach out to your ex.
- 3:24And I said to her he needs to reach out to you.
- 3:27I don't care that he said it to your friend.
- 3:30Why isn't he saying it to you? And about a week, 10 days went
- 3:33by and he still had not reached out.
- 3:35Interesting, huh? He has significant to say.
- 3:38But he couldn't just pick up the phone and send a text or leave a
- 3:41message. And so I said no, you need to
- 3:43wait. But of course we have our old
- 3:47friend anxiety, and she reached out, did the opposite of what I
- 3:55told her. Very disappointed and we'll see
- 3:59what happens. But the fact is that she was
- 4:03needy in the relationship. She broke up with him for a good
- 4:09reason and now she put herself in a position to receive the pet
- 4:14cemetery version of him. If someone knows what the title
- 4:17of that video is. That I did where I talked about
- 4:19the Pet Sematary version of people, where you get the evil
- 4:21version of people, please put it below because I've done so many
- 4:24videos, I don't remember the name of it.
- 4:26But basically if you break up with someone or they break up
- 4:31with you and you had good reason to break up with them and then
- 4:35you go searching for them, then you just told them that you're
- 4:38not going anywhere. They can treat you any way they
- 4:41want, and you will always be there and you'll come crawling
- 4:44back like the addict that you are.
- 4:47Because when these people are breaking no contact, they are
- 4:52literally not in their right mind.
- 4:55So when you feel like breaking no contact, you are not in your
- 5:02right mind. And you may say, but Lucia, I
- 5:06can get dressed, I can drive my car, I can go to work, I can go
- 5:12on Zoom, if I work from home, I can go to the grocery store.
- 5:15What do you mean I'm not in my right mind?
- 5:17Well, I never said you had dementia.
- 5:21When I say you're not in your right mind, I say you're not in
- 5:23your logical mind. You're in your fearful mind,
- 5:26your primitive brain which is only concerned with survival and
- 5:30because you have such such strong emotions, such a strong
- 5:34charge regarding getting an X back, your primitive brain
- 5:40thinks that you're in danger and so it's making you anxious so
- 5:44that you'll take action. It doesn't care about the
- 5:49logical side. It basically hijacks your
- 5:53logical brain, which is why you cannot be trusted to make the
- 5:57right decisions during no contact.
- 6:00Which is why you either need to listen to the videos like no
- 6:04contact playlist to keep you and your logical mind when your
- 6:10anxious mind tries to overtake you and have you make the wrong
- 6:13decision and wants you to reach out.
- 6:16Or you need to book a coaching session with me.
- 6:19Although even if you do, apparently, as you can see from
- 6:23these two clients, if you have extreme anxiety, you're still
- 6:29not going to be able to do it unfortunately.
- 6:30And I feel sorry for the people who do have anxiety because as
- 6:34an avoidant, I don't experience anxiety with relationships or
- 6:38getting an X back. You know when I have anxiety,
- 6:41when I have to go to the airport and I'm always afraid that I'm
- 6:44going to be late, that I'm going to miss the flight.
- 6:48I think it's because when I was 10 and we went to Italy for the
- 6:52summer and then we were at the Rome airport, we were supposed
- 6:55to fly back to Canada and we were late and they called our
- 6:59name and we heard it and we're running through the airport.
- 7:02And then they picked us up in a golf cart and took us to the
- 7:04plane and we made it. So that's what I'm thinking that
- 7:07it goes back to. So that's when I have anxiety,
- 7:10when I have to catch a flight. Other than that, smooth sailing
- 7:16for getting an X back. So the key here, since you can't
- 7:20trust yourself, is you have to fix that anxiety.
- 7:24So you either go to therapy, take some magnesium, or the one
- 7:30thing that you should be doing, we should all be doing, and
- 7:33those with an anxious attachment style are the most resistant to
- 7:36doing it and that is you should be meditating.
- 7:42Meditation will help you get into your logical mind when you
- 7:46start to have anxiety. Otherwise, as I've said in a
- 7:52previous video and I'll put the link up in the right hand
- 7:54corner, if there is a chance to get your X back and you know
- 7:58about no contact and you break it and you don't get your ex
- 8:03back, you only have yourself to blame.
- 8:06You could have got your ex back but you didn't control your
- 8:09anxiety. So please, please work on your
- 8:13anxiety. Now I want to hear from you.
- 8:16Which attachment style do you have?
- 8:21And if you have an anxious attachment style, what are you
- 8:23going to do about it? And in the meantime, if you
- 8:27would like my help to get your ex back, contact me at
- 8:29theartoflove.net and we'll send you the rates.
- 8:32The direct link is below. If you found this video helpful,
- 8:35please like, subscribe and share.
- 8:37If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
- 8:40And finally, remember that love inspires, Empire empowers,
- 8:44uplifts, and enlightens.