Latest / Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach / EP 17: What I Learned on My Solo Cabin Trip: 3 Keys That Could Change Everything

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EP 17: What I Learned on My Solo Cabin Trip: 3 Keys That Could Change Everything · Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach

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  If you've ever felt like you can't hear yourself think, like you're constantly reacting, constantly
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  needed and constantly on, today is the episode for you, my friend, because I want to share
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  something personal.
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  It's about what I learned on a solo cabin trip I took for my birthday last year and
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  the three things that came out of that that honestly have changed how I live my everyday
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  life.
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  If you're tired of people pleasing, caring too much, and wondering why peace still feels
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  so hard to hold on to, you're in the right place.
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  Hi, I'm Lori, mom, former people pleaser, and Your Boundaries coach.
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  Here we talk about how to protect your peace, set healthier boundaries, and get clear on
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  what actually matters so that you can build a life that feels lighter, calmer, and more
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  satisfying.
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  So let's stop the chaos for a minute, moms, catch our breath, and get into this next episode.
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  Welcome back to Healthy Boundaries for Moms.
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  So last year for my birthday, I did something I had never done before.
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  Y'all, I got online and I booked a cabin just for myself, and I didn't realize how much
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  I needed that.
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  No one asking me questions, no decisions for anyone else, no schedule to manage except
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  my own.
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  And even the drive there felt different.
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  So picture this, I had my 90s country music blaring.
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  I had the moonroof open, just driving, singing, and enjoying it.
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  And I remember thinking, I really, really like this.
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  Not because it was anything fancy, but this was just for me.
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  This was me.
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  And when I got to the cabin, the host had left a bottle of wine that was waiting just
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  for me.
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  And I remember thinking, this is so peaceful.
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  Y'all, it was quiet.
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  It was beautiful.
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  I could just be.
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  Now I will say, nighttime in the woods by yourself is slightly uncomfortable.
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  I did check several of the doors multiple times to make sure they were locked.
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  But even that I handled.
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  And what surprised me most wasn't just that I enjoyed it, it was what I realized about
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  myself while I was there.
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  Because I thought I was just going there for a needed break, but what I actually needed
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  was the space to hear myself.
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  So one of the things that really stood out to me on this trip is just how uncomfortable
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  it felt at first to just be with myself.
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  Not because anything was wrong, but because I just wasn't used to it.
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  It just seemed a little awkward, to be honest.
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  And I think we've created lives where we're constantly responding, right?
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  We're reacting to things, we're checking on things, we're always moving, or we're always
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  waiting on something to tell us what to do.
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  To get that information in and then move on that, like what to think, what to feel.
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  And when all of that goes quiet, it feels awkward.
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  Because honestly, being with ourselves is not a muscle that we've been using.
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  We are so used to all the schedules and the routines and people needing us and things
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  coming at us from every direction, that when none of that is there, we don't even know
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  what we want.
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  I remember sitting there thinking, do I want to go inside or do I want to go outside?
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  Do I want to make a fire or not?
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  And what do I want for lunch?
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  And none of those decisions had anything to do with anyone else.
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  And it wasn't again, like, what does my family need or what's easiest for everybody else
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  or what's on the agenda?
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  It was just what do I want?
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  And that felt unfamiliar.
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  It wasn't hard and it wasn't complicated.
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  Again, just unfamiliar.
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  Because I realized I haven't been practicing that.
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  Because we live in such a reactive society, guys.
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  We're constantly consuming, scrolling, responding, adjusting.
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  So over time, we lose the simple ability to just sit with ourselves and make simple
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  internal decisions.
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  So then when it comes to make bigger decisions, we wonder why we second guess everything.
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  And it's not because we're incapable, but because we're just out of practice listening
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  to ourselves.
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  And I think a lot of us don't need more information, right?
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  We have plenty.
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  We just need more time to practice being with ourselves.
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  And this is something we've even seen in the Bible.
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  In First Kings 19, 11 through 12, it says, the Lord said, go out and stand on the mountain
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  in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.
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  Then a great and powerful wind tore through the mountains apart and shattered the rocks
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  before the Lord.
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  But the Lord was not in the wind.
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  And after the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.
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  And after the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.
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  And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
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  And I think a lot of us are missing that right there.
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  Not because God isn't speaking, but because our lives are so loud, we would not be able
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  to hear that whisper from God.
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  And I heard a quote once that said, almost everything will work again if you unplug it
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  for a few minutes, including you.
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  So yes, we are like that computer that needs to unplug and shut down and restart.
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  And that is what the cabin gave me.
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  I finally got to unplug long enough to hear myself again.
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  The cabin gave me built-in space with no noise and no constant input.
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  No need to react to my family, okay?
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  And I could finally hear my own thoughts.
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  And I think this is where a lot of us are stuck.
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  Again, not because we don't have answers, but because we don't have the space.
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  And one of the biggest things I journaled while I was there was this.
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  I actually trust myself.
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  Because along the way, I've noticed when I really look at it, my choices are usually
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  pretty wise.
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  And there is a reason I do what I do.
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  So in my journal, I underlined, I can trust myself.
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  And that was huge.
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  But friends, I don't think I would have gotten this in my everyday life.
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  Because I don't always listen to that.
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  Because I'm busy or distracted or talking and taking in everybody's input, right?
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  And I think a lot of us do this.
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  We second-guess ourselves, not because we're incapable, but because we're disconnected
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  from ourselves.
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  Now here's the part I really, really want you to hear.
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  I did not need a cabin to experience that, okay?
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  Y'all don't need to go book a cabin.
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  I mean, I think that's a great experience for you to have, but the cabin isn't why.
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  And it's not the only way to remove the noise.
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  What I actually needed was to start building that space into my everyday life.
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  So instead of waiting for one weekend a year to reset, I started thinking in terms of check-ins.
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  So let's take our first check-in.
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  This is our daily check-in.
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  It's about five minutes.
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  And this is about just asking, what went well today?
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  Did I take care of myself at all?
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  So these are all your needs that you need to do to take care of yourself.
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  And what do I need right now?
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  And this is also where I want you to celebrate any wins that you had that day.
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  Because if you don't pause and acknowledge it, your brain will not count it.
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  Now let's move on to your quarterly check-in.
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  This is where you ask, am I still aligned with my goals?
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  Do I even want what I'm working toward?
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  And when I say, do you want what you're working toward?
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  Sometimes we don't even remember why we started working towards something.
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  We're not even re-choosing it and making sure that's what we want.
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  And also I want you to examine what's working and what is not.
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  So quarterly check-in is going to be about every three months.
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  So this is a really good time to look at all of that.
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  Now the cabin level is going to be your annual reset.
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  This is where you're going to go into that deeper space to reconnect, to unplug, to reflect,
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  to reset your direction for the year.
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  So definitely make sure that you plan these check-ins, okay?
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  And again, you don't need a cabin to find yourself.
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  You need consistent space to hear yourself.
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  That cabin trip didn't give me something new.
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  It reminded me of something I already had, which was clarity, wisdom, and an ability
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  to trust myself.
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  And the goal isn't to wait for one week in a year to feel that, it is to build it into
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  your everyday life.
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  So here's what I want you to do today.
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  You're going to take five minutes, no phone, no noise, okay?
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  And just ask yourself, what do I actually need right now?
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  So this is what you're going to do today.
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  So guys, please take advantage of those three check-ins, the daily, the quarterly, and the
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  annual.
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  I think it will be very life-changing and it will allow you to hear yourself think and
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  for you to hear what God has to say to you.
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  So I want to take this moment to give a special shout-out to my son, William Grimes, who is
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  the editor and producer of this podcast, Behind the Scenes, bringing this podcast to you twice
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  a week.
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  And he has worked on it so diligently.
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  So again, thank you, Will, for all you have done to make this podcast successful.
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  You surely have made your mom proud.
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  Hey friend, I hope this episode helped you.
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  If so, come join us in the Healthy Boundaries for Moms Facebook group.
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  That's where we go deeper, share what's working, and support each other in real life.
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  And if you haven't already, hit follow and leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts.
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  It helps more moms find this message.
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  Now friend, go say no to what's stealing your peace and say yes to something that you really
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  need.
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  And I'll meet you back here in the next episode.