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March Madness Sportsball: For When The Murder Shows Stop Working · You're Not Too Much

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Not only is it bad for humans, but it's actually
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bad for business. It is really horrible business
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to have to keep retraining people because you
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treat them so poorly that they burn out and leave.
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When we hit a stride where things are going well, I have anxiety waiting
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for whatever awful stuff is coming next because
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things can't just go well for a while, right? Like there's gotta be something around
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the corner waiting for us. You did not do
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anything wrong. You are an asset. You are not a liability.
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Hi everybody, I'm Lauren Howard. I go by L2. Yes,
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you can call me L2. Everybody does. It's a long story. It's actually not that
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long a story, but we'll save it for another time. Welcome to Different
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Not Broken, which is our podcast on exactly that,
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that there are a lot of people in this world walking around feeling broken. And
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the reality is you're just different and that's fine.
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We've talked about the fact that I actually quite enjoy sportsball before and
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I use sports as the catch all term for all of the
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sports. Cause I will watch any sport, but it's not like something I seek out.
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I will say when I need something to put on in the background, which is
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all the time, I always have something running in the background and I'm very rarely
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actively paying attention to it. It's either the byproduct of my brain being very
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noisy all the time and learning to counteract it with
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television or with noise, or the fact that my house was loud
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all the time. When I was a kid, there was no quiet ever because there
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were just a whole lot of kids with a whole lot of trauma.
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I always want to have on in the background, even though I don't care that
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much about the topics. I actually really like watching sports documentaries and so I'll watch
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things about all sorts of different sports teams all the time.
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I know lots of things about like 1970s
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sports that I don't know about current sports. I learn it
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from watching documentaries and docu series and things like that. But the reason I bring
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this up is because I watched the entire March Madness this year every
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night instead of turning on what I normally turn on, which is shows about murder.
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Because of course, because who doesn't love a good show about murder? Listen, when I'm
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stressed, I want to go decompress and watch shows about murder. That's how I get
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my relief. But things have been so intensely
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stressful lately that even like the dark
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themes, like even just the idea of the kind of
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creepy music that they play under murder shows or the suspenseful music
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or the horror type music that you often hear on Dateline
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or 48 Hours or one of the various shows
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on Oxygen, True Crime that are all basically the same show just
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packaged into slightly different packages, literally all about murder. I
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was not able to overcome the
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anxiety in my brain because it was compounding it. The idea of
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these very stressful, really horrific themes that should tell
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you how far gone I've been. Thanks
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to the state of the universe right now. I will drop everything for Keith
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Morrison if he calls. I'm running. And the fact that I've been like,
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I just can't right now. That's what I've been like with the news for the
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last year. Which is also shocking because I was a news junkie all
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the time. I would turn on a news channel, leave it on, know what's happening
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all over the world. But now that our news is
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permeated by a giant orange jackass with
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zero capacity for governance and just
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rampant corruption and terrible things happening all the time,
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Every time I watch the news, I would get angry. I would get so sick
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to my stomach, I would feel physically sick that I was like, I just can't
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do this anymore. Which is when I switched to murder shows full time. Well, we
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have now reached the part of the timeline where the murder shows are
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now causing their own version of stress. And so I have been watching
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sportsball. I don't actually care what's happening in the games, and I certainly don't care
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who wins. But it is so nice to have something on the
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television that has zero stakes for me. None whatsoever.
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There is no anxiety. I don't care. If you make a basket, good for you.
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If you do make a pretty one, I like watching it. That's fun. But if
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you lose the game, if you win the game, I don't care. I like
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watching Charles Barkley be a jerk. That's
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fun all the time. I, in general, like the commentators. I
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like to pretend like I know what's going on. Like, I said something to my
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husband about the Final Four, and I was like, well, it's so and so and
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so and so versus so and so and so and so. Final Four is not
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even over and I've forgotten who's in it. Clearly, that shows you how far in
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my brain I'm actually retaining this stuff. It's not far, but I know
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Michigan's in it because I had a teacher in high school who I'm still close
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with, who was a huge Michigan fan. And I can sing the entire Michigan fight
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song because of her. And my kids the other day asked me why I know
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the Michigan song. They didn't know what the Michigan song was. And I was like,
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that is a very long story. And they're like, do you like Michigan?
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I was like, no, I hate Michigan. I have no affection for Michigan whatsoever. I've
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been Pavlov. I watched all of March Madness,
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which I've never done before. I've never filled out a bracket. I've never cared.
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The only time I ever cared were the couple of years when LSU was in
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the finals for two reasons. One, LSU is my favorite team, and two, because I
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grew up there and my best friend was the team manager when they were in
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the finals. The two times I cared that time since I graduated, probably
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college. I don't care about the sports ball, but, man, the relief that
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I've gotten from the sports ball. They're doing what they love and they're so good
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at it. And it's really nice to watch other people do what they love
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and be good at it, even if it's something that you have no interest
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in. I can watch other people be good at stuff all day.
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I can watch other people get joy from something all day.
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So do I care about the basketball scores?
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No. Am I ever gonna fill out a bracket and have any
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opinion on who wins March Madness? Absolutely
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not. But am I so grateful that March Madness was on
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the television for a full month? And also, the women's games are
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better than the men's games. I'm just saying, full stop, no question. I
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don't care. Argue with the wall. I do know the names of people
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on the women's side. Dawn Staley is a freaking hero. Bite me.
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And then I'm blanking on her name right now, and it's really bothering me. I
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think it's Kim something. She's the LSU coach. Aside from the fact that she's the
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LSU coach, which means I love her by nature of existence. She coached Angel
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Reese, who I really, really love, and she has the greatest blazers in the history
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of humanity. I never knew you could put that many sequins on a
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blazer. And good for her. I'm so impressed with the number of sequins
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that she puts on her blazers. Anyway, I pay attention to women's sports apparently a
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little bit more than I pay attention to men's sports. I could not name a
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single person on any of the men's teams because I don't care. But I do
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care about the women's teams and the women's games are better. They're better. I am
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so grateful for March Madness, which I can't believe I'm saying out loud because I
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have literally never cared before. But it has been the reprieve that my brain
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needed from murder shows, I guess, which were the
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reprieve that my brain needed from the news. Because that's the world we live in
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in 2026. I'm kind of sad that it's going to be over. I'm gonna have
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to find something else to watch. I don't know what sports ball seasons are next.
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I think baseball starts. Unless it's the Savannah Bananas, I'm not gonna watch baseball.
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So that's a no go. But I'm sure there's other sports balls that I can
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watch that will offset some of the horror and nightmare
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that is happening. Things that I have learned. I
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really like watching people be good at stuff, even if it's stuff that I don't
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care about at all. Sportsball is a really, really good
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distraction. Especially when you don't give a shit about the
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outcome. Zero shits about the outcome. Amazing
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distraction. And then you can pretend like you know things. I'm like, look, he hit
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that three. Oh, that was a foul. He's gonna get to go to the foul
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line. Well, that was a one on one. Okay. I did play basketball in high
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school, so like I at least know the rules of the game. It is kind
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of fun to like act like you know things even though the impact of knowing
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things is just because my brain needed a break from reality.
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And the only break from reality that I could get is 7 foot
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tall men running up and down a court. Which is fine.
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Highly recommend putting the sports ball on in the background and
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forgetting that life exists for a minute. You don't have to engage with it,
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but there's nothing going on except for people running up and down a court.
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And they're not focused on anything that is going on in the world aside from
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putting that ball in a hoop. And that is the level
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of distraction that I need right now. Thank you. Sportsball
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workplaces, I guess they're changing. I feel that it
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is becoming more the norm. The standard for workplace
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performance should be use them up until they're burned out.
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Often it's turned them over for someone else cheaper. Or an AI
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bot that doesn't have set hours. But that's so
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common now. Not only is it bad for humans, but
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it's actually bad for business. It is really
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horrible business to have to keep retraining people
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because you treat them so poorly that they burn out
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and leave or can't do the job or go on disability or
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whatever like it's bad business. It costs a business money
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to have people leave when they have institutional knowledge. It
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takes something like between 18 months and
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three years to replace someone who left with all
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the institutional knowledge. And knowledge transfer only happens to
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a certain extent. Regardless how well documented your SOPs
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are. The humans who are performing those jobs
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know it better than any book. And your perfectly
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documented manual on how to do this job isn't
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going to tell the whole story. I don't care if the companies lose
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a bunch of money because they ran off their employees. That is not
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my point. It both feels
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bad and it is bad business because losing
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good employees costs the organization money. So there's no
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justification for doing it except for short term thinking
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rather than long term plan. They are worried about the
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payroll this year. They are worried about output this year rather
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than thinking about how. Man, if we have a healthy,
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engaged, happy to be here group of employees
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that this company will be easier to run in 10 years or five years or
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even two years. They don't think about that. Happy employees lead to better
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businesses. They lead to more profitable businesses. They lead to more successful
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businesses. They lead to businesses that are less prone to
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risk because the employees work to protect them. Again, I don't actually
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care about the businesses. That's not the point that I'm making for the conversation we're
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about to have. There is fully no justification for it
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because it's not even good business to do things this way. So what I want
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to say is there is a reality that your job
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can't see the forest for the trees. They are incapable
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of seeing how treating you like a
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valuable human who deserves to be there, who they
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are appreciate having there, who does their job well
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is better for business. And that has nothing
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to do with you. That is not a shortcoming from your performance.
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That does not reflect on how you've done your job. It does not
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reflect on how important you are to the organization. It reflects on the
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fact that they are prioritizing the company
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over every individual. And that is not something that you should
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internalize. And I understand how hard it is to not.
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I understand how it feels personal when they do things like that. When
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people say it's not personal, it's just business. That's an excuse that they're making
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to not take accountability for the shitty thing they're about to do. It's always
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personal when someone treats you poorly. It is always
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personal. No business decision justifies
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treating someone poorly. That doesn't mean that there aren't
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business decisions that end up with really negative outcomes for
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people who deserve better. And sometimes that happens. Even
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in the best scenario, sometimes that happens. But that
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has nothing to do with you. That has
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nothing to do with your performance. It has nothing to do with your capability. It
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has nothing to do with your ability to get another job.
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That is the place that you are working.
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Not understanding, caring about your employees is better business.
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Their hyper corporate, likely abusive approach,
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despite the fact that you have the honor of absorbing it or
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being at least the receptacle for it, has absolutely nothing to
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do with you. You did not do anything wrong. You are an
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asset. You are not a liability. You are not the problem who is
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creating this inhospitable environment that was designed to
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burn you out. It's got nothing to do with you. You are not a problem
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for having boundaries. You are not a problem for expecting better.
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You are not a problem for wanting the accommodations that you deserve. None
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of that is you. None of that makes you a problem.
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Psychological safety at work or the ability to be treated
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like a human, not a cog in a machine, that is not a
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fringe benefit. That is something that should be available to everyone. And
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if you're in a situation where you're not treated well, where
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you feel disposable because that's the vibe that your employer
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gives off, that you would do anything to jump ship right now, whether
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that's a possibility for you or not. I'm sorry, that sucks.
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I'm sorry that so much of our corporate world has turned into that. In
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my experience, it's been that for a long time, but I definitely see it getting
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worse. Especially now that there's this looming threat that will just outsource your job
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to a robot which will never work. They think that they can turn all of
13:26
these hyper expertise driven roles into
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computerized programs. Basically, they're firing people as a result of it, and
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they're just going to have to hire all those people back or a lot of
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those people back. My fear though is that they're going to hire those people back
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at like a quarter of the salary because the beatings will continue
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until morale improves. But none of that
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has anything to do with your performance,
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your capacity, your intelligence, your expertise. You
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are in a shitty situation that is not built to be
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compatible with human existence. I wish I could
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snap my fingers and fix that, but I don't know that anybody can. And
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so if you're in that situation. I'm sorry. You deserve better.
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You deserve more. You should not be the
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byproduct of trying to strip humanity
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out of the workplace. And it should not reflect on you as
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how you feel about yourself. You could be a thousand years
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more experienced and 10 times less expensive
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and they would still do it. It has nothing to do with you. You deserve
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safety in the workplace. You. You deserve accommodations in the workplace. You're
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legally required to get accommodations in the workplace as long as they
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are reasonable and affiliated with an actual disability. You shouldn't feel
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like your job is to work until you can't work anymore, and then they'll just
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give the job to someone else. That's not how it's supposed to work. And if
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that's how it's working for you currently, I'm sorry.
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And now we'll go to Alison, who has this week's
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small talk. We have a question from
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Frank in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I'm
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constantly bracing for things to go wrong. Even when things are fine,
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I don't know how to relax into stability. Is that
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hypervigilance, trauma, or just being realistic?
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I can't say exactly what that is because I'm not a
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clinician. However, I will say that I am exactly the same.
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I don't know if that makes it better or worse, but I am so much
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the same. When we hit a stride where things are going well, I
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have anxiety waiting for whatever awful stuff is
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coming next because things can't just go well for a while, right? Like, there's
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gotta be something around the corner waiting for us. And that has been a
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challenge my entire life. I remember being like that when I was a little kid.
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Sometimes I just don't feel excited about things that maybe could be really
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exciting because I either don't want to invest too much
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emotional energy in it in the event that it doesn't work out, or
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I've had a lot of disappointment about things I was excited about not going
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well or not turning out to be what I thought it was. And so, like,
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it makes it really hard to enjoy things. I used
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to watch a ton of college football, and, like, six weeks before
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the end of the season, I would get, like, really melancholy because it was going
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to end. And I love it so much, and I don't want it to end.
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Not enjoying maybe potentially the most exciting part of the season
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because I'm so worried that it's going to end. I remember feeling like that when
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my kids were little, too. I mean, they still are little. Like early newborn
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phase. Feeling really sad all the time that this phase is going to end and
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I won't have spent enough time enjoying it or I won't get to do
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it with them again. But you're in it now. Why aren't you enjoying it now?
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And it's just not how I'm wired. I think some of that is
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probably a trauma response, especially if you grew up. And again, I say
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this not as a clinician, but just somebody who has personal experience with this. If
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you grow up in a chaotic family that pulls a lot of attention
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every time something good happens for someone else, it makes you
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really nervous when good things do happen because you're waiting
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for somebody to do the next wild and outlandish thing, to pull
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focus. I'm convinced that's why I hate my
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birthday, because I can name a number of different
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things that as a child
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on my birthday, created conflict or
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stress or whatever. And so it makes me feel
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uncomfortable when I'm supposed to be asking for time and
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attention because there was always a shoe that dropped. There was always a thing.
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Somebody always created a situation. And
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so in my own personal
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exploration, that's where I feel like
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it comes from. Just this sense memory that if this is
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something you're happy about, there's going to be something negative right behind it. When I
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was in high school, I was on the speech and debate team and we went
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to our first big state tournament for the year where
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one of the people on the team with me had done really, really well the
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prior year. This was several years in, so at this point, I was already kind
18:06
of established and had had some success. I
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ended up doing really well at the tournament. I brought home two different
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trophies because I was in two events and I got to finals, both of them.
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And it was so exciting. And. And that wasn't something I usually got to do.
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And I came home and walked in the house and I've got
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my two trophies. I'm like, look, I did really well.
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And my parents are like, that's amazing. Your dog died.
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Oh, okay. So I'm going to put these
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to the side. I came home and my dad was like, hey,
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I'm having open heart surgery in two days. Some of us are just wired that
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way. And I think to some extent, I would be wired that way regardless, because
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I'm a worrier and I'm naturally
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concerned that something bad is going to happen. I'm always looking around the corner. I'm
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always trying to figure out what 50 different outcomes there could be from a
18:55
situation. But also Some of it's learned. Some of it
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is from the environments that we grew up in, the people who
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have maybe acted like energy vampires, whether we realize it or not.
19:07
Some of the things that have tempered our ability to feel excited about things. I
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certainly don't know if that's the situation in your case, but I know that a
19:14
lot of people who struggle with this
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idea of letting yourself feel excited about
19:22
something or look forward to something, or be present in the moment of
19:25
whatever that is. That comes from the fact that there
19:29
is just always something new to worry about. And that is
19:32
exhausting and overwhelming and comes from any
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number of places. It can be hard to shake. And that might be a great
19:40
thing to talk to a professional about. It might also just be something to start
19:43
looking at. In your history, has somebody always rained on your parade
19:48
every time something great has happened for you? Or have you felt like
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you couldn't share when something good happened because it might be
19:55
perceived as negative by somebody who you care about or not received well by somebody
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who you care about? Because that can change how you personally feel about those
20:02
things, too.
20:07
The Olympics get me every time, and I always think I'm never going to watch
20:11
them, and then I end up watching them the whole time. Because in the US
20:13
you go to school and you could play basketball all the way through school, and
20:17
then you can play basketball in college, and then you can graduate college and go
20:20
to a professional. Like, there's like a whole trajectory there. How do you end
20:23
up learning to do the luge? Like, there's these little
20:27
niche sports that I'm like, how do you end up
20:31
in this sport? I must no.