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The Cost of "Normal": Doing What Everyone Else Does Might Be Hurting Your Marriage · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing marriage well for September 25, 2026. The cost of normal.
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  Doing what everyone else does might be hurting your marriage.
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  Let's look at two more ways some couples go against what everyone does because
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  their circumstance makes it a better choice.
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  Both of these will get you criticized or looked down on, one by church folks, the other by the world.
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  Mr. Mom. I have several male friends who stayed at home with their kids while
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  their wives earned money.
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  For each couple, this was the best choice for multiple years.
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  One of these guys was a cop, so it's not like he was a sissy or unwilling to work.
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  In another instance, the husband was recovering from a significant medical issue
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  that made him impossible to employ in his field.
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  The kids were young, but old enough they didn't push him past what he could do physically.
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  The struggle here is the idea that the husband is supposed to provide for his
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  family, and the wrong thinking that a man staying at home with his kids is not doing that.
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  My thinking is a real man does what is best for his family, even if that is
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  unusual or looked down on.
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  By the way, all these men told me caring for the kids was the hardest job they
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  ever had. Stay-at-home parents rock.
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  Less is more. We live in a consumer society. Many people judge success,
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  happiness, worth, and value by the material possessions someone has.
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  Judging people this way is contrary to the Bible. What's more,
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  pursuing great wealth is not advocated by Jesus or any New Testament writer.
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  But we're influenced by the cultural waters in which we swim,
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  and few of us are free of this mindset.
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  The problem is more stuff requires more money, and more money requires working more hours.
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  I realize some couples could not provide a minimal, safe life for their kids
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  if only one of them worked full-time.
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  But for many couples, we're both
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  work full-time. It's about having more or better, not what is necessary.
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  Likewise, for some of the parents who work both a full-time and a part-time
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  job, or who take every minute of overtime they can get.
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  Usually the issue is living beyond our means, which is a cultural obsession in the U.S.
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  Living in a small, simple place in a safe neighborhood isn't enough.
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  We need bigger and better. We need more things, more vacations, and all the toys.
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  I'm not opposed to any of those things, but we need to understand the cost of
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  having them, not the price tag cost, but the time cost.
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  Might our kids be better off having us home every evening?
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  Would more time with us all year be better for them than a week with us on a fantastic vacation?
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  Would being able to make their games and recitals bless them more than a new gaming system?
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  All these questions should also be asked about time with our spouse.
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  Is a better life worth more than time together? What would your spouse say if
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  you asked them that question?
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  Where are you doing what everyone else does because that's how it's done?
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  Would your kids or marriage benefit from you bucking the trend and doing it differently?
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  This is Paul, and following your culture may not be doing marriage well.