Latest / The Kink Consultant / Ep 27 - Storytelling, Sex, and Safe Words: Exploring Kink and Intimacy with Nik the Forge Bear

Transcript

Ep 27 - Storytelling, Sex, and Safe Words: Exploring Kink and Intimacy with Nik the Forge Bear · The Kink Consultant

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It's the King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
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on all things kink and dating, relationships and pop culture.
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So close the door, plug in your headphones, and let's get down
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to it. Hello and welcome to this week's
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episode of The King Consultant. I am delighted to be joined by a
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friend and one of my favorite content creators.
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And I don't say that lightly. One of my favorite content
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creators, Nick the Forge Bear. That is how I refer to you in my
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head. What do you go by?
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Most everybody just refers to me as Nick.
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So you are a storyteller of all kinds.
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You are on multiple platforms. But let's talk about Quinn.
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Start with them last year. I think it's been about a year
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and a half at this point, yeah. Tell us what Quinn is.
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The elevator pitch I like to use is that Quinn is Netflix for
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smut, for erotica. When it comes to audio, it is a
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platform form that really enables people to investigate
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and appreciate their fantasies, maybe discover new things about
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themselves and do it from both the comfort of their own
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earbuds, but also in a way that is far more intimate than a lot
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of other erotica presents itself.
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And with a platform like that, I have always been a fan of audio
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erotica and the fact that it speaks to the largest sex organ
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that we have our brains. And there's something so
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beautiful and and intimate and empowering about being able to
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record something and know that the only person who's going to
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know what's being said or what you're listening to or hearing
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what you're hearing is us that it's an intimate exchange.
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And during that, I have the ability to build up your
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confidence. I have the ability to speak to
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you about your own inner or exterior beauty.
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I have the ability to acknowledge your sexual
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fantasies and your sexual independence and sometimes maybe
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give you an idea you want to try out.
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You're inspiring further intimacy through that.
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Oh, it's the worst. Oh, it's the worst.
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What a terrible job. How do you?
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I get that comment a lot. I get a lot of leave some of
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them for us. And I'm like, Oh no, I'm not on
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here for me to get anything. I'm on here for me to plant the
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seeds that will be carried out into the world by other people.
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And those other people will act upon their impulses and know
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what they want, and know how to talk about what they want and
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how to get it. So many things you've just said.
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I'm like, yes, talk about what you want, learn how to get what
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you want, inspire. Do people tell you like, Oh my
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God, you opened up my world. You changed how I view sex?
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Like do you get feedback like that?
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There's always going to be a mix of feedback, right?
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You're always going to have certain people who are like, oh,
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this is amazing. Oh, this little cringe, oh this,
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so that or the other thing. But the stuff that resonates the
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most with me is when I do have people coming to me, when I have
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husbands who are like, my wife told me this was my homework.
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And so I listened to this audio that you did and I just wanted
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to say thank you because it reinvigorated our intimacy or
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oh, this gave me an idea that I'm not the only one who likes
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this. And so it's OK for me to, Oh my
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goodness. The conversations alone about
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stuff like female masturbation, like talking about oral
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predilections or being with the idea of there being a delay in
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gratification for any penis owner.
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These are conversations that don't have commonplace, but if
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you sneak them in to entertainment, real sneaky, like
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it starts something that oftentimes has a tendency to
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catch and influence people in the right way and usually
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towards their benefits. So a lot of my favorite
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conversations, a lot of the conversations that keep me
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punching the clock of audio porn, as it were, is the
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conversations where it's like you helped you educated, you
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inspired, you made it so that I had to at home and just pounce
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on my husband. And I'm like, I'll count that as
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a win. I'll count that as a win.
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Fucking win for sure. Sex is happening because you're
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out here doing your job. Good sex is happening because
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you're out here doing your job. I will take that victory lap
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right now. I mean, that'll eat into your
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podcast time, but I'll do it. It's fine.
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No, it's worth it because I always say I just want people to
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have good sex. So yes, I focus on kink, but for
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me, kink and sex are intertwined.
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And like what I ultimately want is people to have better
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connection. But you know the quick and dirty
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way to say that is good sex. You're out here doing it.
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I have a follow up question for you.
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I want your origin story because ultimately I want to know.
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Did you start by calling yourself an educator?
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And we've talked about this before when I came on your
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Wednesday Live Like the turn educator.
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That's a big title to carry. It is my formal training was in
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psychology to begin. I'm still expanding my
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knowledge, right? Because as as any educator will
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tell you that if they're not constantly trying to inform
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themselves, then how are they supposed to provide the best
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information for those people who put themselves in your care,
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whether you want to refer to them as students or whatever.
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But educating, informing, counseling.
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I know that I blanche at the term influencer because I think
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it's one that gets thrown around too often and has really
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conformed to some oddities when it comes to the Internet age.
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But I appreciate being an educator and a instigator.
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I will do something to elicit response, to make you think
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about something in a way that you may not have before.
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And usually with education, we have the classroom set up, even
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take it so far back as the Socratic amphitheater where you
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stand at the at the bottom and your voice resonates throughout
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the hall. Being that person and being able
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to speak to people who looking at you, that are taking it in,
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that are making opinions on the spot is a lot different than we
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find ourselves in right now. Being digital educators where
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we're talking at a camera, right?
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Not knowing who's going to pick up, who's going to be watching
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the video or flip by it too quickly.
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And so we need to be able to take that as an opportunity,
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one, to make the most informed and educated statements
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possible, but two, do it in a way that doesn't alienate the
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listener or viewer because oftentimes nobody likes being
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talked down to. Everybody has a favorite
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educator, but everybody also has a least favorite educator.
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And I want to fall somewhere closer to the former and not the
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latter. I read constantly.
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I'm constantly listening to podcasts, I'm constantly
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listening to audiobooks. I'm constantly trying to take
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more and more in. And that started at a very early
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age where and very quiet and lonely afternoons at a very
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large library, which is why I call the communities that I form
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libraries. I found myself in the sexual
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health section out of pure curiosity.
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And before I knew it, I was not simply being, oh, titillated by
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the information, but I started gathering it and started making
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the connections and started looking at it from perspective
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of these are the base practices of a civilization, a society,
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and a species that really has the ability to better itself
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through these Interment interactions and better
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understand everyone through these intimacies and being frank
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and honest about them. So I don't take educator
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lightly. I don't think you do either.
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But I'm honored when people inform me that I am 1 and when
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they ask me if I am, I simply say I am an educator in
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progress. I am working on it.
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I am trying to make sure that no matter what conversation we have
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that we both step away from it being a little bit better than
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where we started out. I like educator in progress.
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I, you know, I do and ask me anything Monday on Instagram and
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I let people ask you questions and you know, you give a 15
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second response. And then sometimes Instagrams
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like this story did well post it as a reel and you don't edit it.
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You just put it up. And I did that recently about
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brats and I just I called out Ian Doms.
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What I hate is some of my most inflammatory, least educated
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videos that I just like threw out.
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I was like, oh, that was funny and true.
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End up being some of the most popular.
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So that's another piece of the social media thing.
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It's like no one's worried about how well informed or educated I
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am at the forefront. It's only as that message
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penetrates that you have to be concerned with like, well, where
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did this person learn? And now I have to go back and
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make like kind of an apology video, which is I'm too late in
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doing, but I will still do of hey, I also, I didn't want to
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skip over the fact that you need to negotiate being a brat before
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we get to this stage. It's mixing in the message of
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consistently pushing negotiation and all of the base things that
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sometimes I take for granted. And then also being informative
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and catching. One of the things you said is
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you don't know how long they're going to watch your video for.
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It could be 5 seconds. We live in the age of flash in
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the pan information where you and I are battling uphill.
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We are because a lot of people live in a world where visual
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learners, a lot of people are drawn to motion, to brightness,
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to vivid display. So we're battling in order to
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present information. We're battling Hollywood and
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things like the 50 shade series or the movie Baby Girl and stuff
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like that. We're battling the untold
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terabytes of quick produced show intimacy through all of the
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websites that are out there. And So what do we have to do?
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We have to do our very best, be succinct, be honest, be
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informative. They're going to be times where
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we stumble over stuff. They're going to be times where
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people call us out. And it's moments like that where
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we have to be capable of being like, OK, you know what though,
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I'm human, but so are you. You want to call me out on my
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behavior, that's fine. But you said it yourself, facing
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fake Doms is a situation that if I had a nickel for every, every
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single time a fake Dom told me that safe words were
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unnecessary, I wouldn't have to work anymore.
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Yeah, because I would own a mansion in a yacht and a base on
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the moon. We're working against the toxic
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sexualities. We're working against the
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uninformed, the uninformed who are so longing for that
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connection and thinking that the only way to have that connection
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is for them to completely and utterly control it so that they
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can say they won. You know, in a very strange way,
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but they're trying to say that they won because there's a
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perception through performative sexual acts on the Internet,
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there's a perception that there's a way of winning.
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And whether that be to be the first one who has an orgasm or
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whatever exists in their minds, it's something we we're working
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against. And hopefully, hopefully we'll,
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we'll win the battle, but it's, it's uphill.
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That's an interesting perspective because maybe it's
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from the female perspective. I've always got felt that a Dom
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is like, they feel the fake ones.
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It's like they found a cheat code.
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That's what I feel is happening. They're like, oh, this is a
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cheat code to getting what I want.
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But to your point, getting what you want is their version of
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winning Whatever they've put the prize on.
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Like whatever they think the prize is, they're deciding it's
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sex. Having someone acquiesce to
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their demands, having someone willing to get completely naked.
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I mean there is for fake doms. There is a lot of mental
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territory and and egotistical real estate that has gained and
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by being able to tell somebody to get on their knees and give
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them a blowjob, right. That in and of itself is
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considered what it's considered a dominant, a powerful, a
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controlling position by a lot of men, whether they consider
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themselves doms or not. There is subcultures of the
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uninformed sexual individuals out there who are like, this is
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the height. There are people who are like, I
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collect videos of all of the people that I've received
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blowjobs from and you're like, but what did you for them in
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return? Nothing.
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Why not? Well, wasn't that enough for
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them? And you have to take pause and
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you have to look at it and you have to go, okay, this is what
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we're working against. This is what we're trying to
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counter educate. All right, Kingster, let's talk
12:24
about pleasure. Not just mine.
12:27
Yours too. If you're enjoying this episode
12:29
of The King Consultant, I need you to do me a little favor and
12:32
I promise it'll feel oh so good. Take a second and give this
12:36
podcast a five star rating. Just imagine your finger sliding
12:40
all over that fifth star, pressing down, giving it exactly
12:45
the kind of attention it deserves.
12:46
Yeah, that's it. And you know what happens when
12:49
you do? I get all hot and bothered
12:52
knowing you're out there showing your appreciation.
12:55
Plus, every time you leave a review, a naughty little brat
12:57
somewhere gets that spanking they've been begging for.
13:01
So be a good listener and tap that star, won't you?
13:04
Thanks, love. Now let's get back to the fun.
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It's it's like people think that they're the entire equation when
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they're really just one side of it.
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To your point and I, I don't want to only call out men for
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this because I will say yesterday I met a sub, we met
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for coffee. I said, you know, if we were to
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pursue something, if we were to be anything or play together, I
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was like, I want you to tell me about your day.
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I want to know. And he was shocked that I would
13:32
take an interest in his life at all.
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So like, I dug in a little bit and I just realized, wow, this
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is happening. A lot of people are taking the
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Dom title and the keyword there is taking.
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They are take, take, take and forgetting that this is it's a
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symbiotic relationship. You can't just take from someone
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and expect them to just give. And for some people, sure that's
13:49
their kink, but even more so then you should know what's
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going on in their lives in my humble opinion.
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There's this lack of understanding.
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I feel like because I've encountered this as a Dom
14:00
myself, the I don't need to inform him.
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He'll just know the I can spring it on him when he's not
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expecting it. This will be OK because there
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is, there's that assumption that Dom space is full time.
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This is not, I am not dealing with somebody with emotional
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equity. I'm not dealing with somebody
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who has empathy, who was approaching me with his
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sincerity. This is Daddy, this is master,
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This is Sir. This is ma'am, right?
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This is Mistress. Doesn't matter which, right?
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As one of my friends refers to her position as a Dom, she who
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wields the strap. There's a space where Dom's
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occupy where it's like we're going to do what needs to be
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done. We're going to take care of our
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sub. We're going to be able to give
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them what they want. We're going to we're going to
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know the phrases, we're going to know the honorifics.
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We're going to know the steps in order to make you be able to
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disassociate from the chaos of everything out there.
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And focus is full body experience that you're having.
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But like, hey, you want to ask me, Maybe I want, you know, a
15:03
bottled water afterwards, you know, you know, Nick, the Dom is
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putting in a lot of work here, babe.
15:08
Maybe I need a hug. You know, maybe it's like ask me
15:11
about my day. See what video games I'm playing
15:13
this weekend. Yes, because you're not a kink
15:15
dispenser. In both regards, it's a matter
15:18
of recognizing the sexual symbiosis that exists right, and
15:22
being able to realize that we both feed off of and are feeding
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the needs, the desires. The fantasy is the people that
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we are interacting with. Listen, you can have a scene
15:32
with one play friend, you can have a scene with 14 play
15:35
friends. But what you're going to do is
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you're going to do, you're going to approach it with honesty,
15:38
sincerity. You're going to trust those
15:40
people you're with. You're going to just drop all of
15:42
the the extemporaneous bullshit that you have to carry around in
15:46
order to work your 9 to 5 and so on and so forth.
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You're going to leave all that behind and you're going to be
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this honest, pure version of yourself who's seeking to
15:54
provide and receive pleasure and that can extend beyond the
15:58
scene. So, so it it just trying to
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trying to handle that in a healthy framework is a little
16:03
bit difficult sometimes and tricky.
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How do you vet your Subs or potential play partners?
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What's your vet? Oh, it can be varied.
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There can be phone conversations to take place beforehand.
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I had one person who was more comfortable with e-mail
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correspondence. It's depending on what the Subs
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looking to receive. Some Subs are looking for
16:23
somebody to sex them some, some are looking for purely phone
16:27
sex. Some are looking for in the
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digital age, you know, you have the ability, you have the
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flexibility to kind of like approach those different things
16:34
and really encapsulate them and genuinely do it.
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At what time and in what space is most comfortable for this
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sub? But I like to be exceedingly
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thorough. I, I ask a lot of questions.
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I approach it from almost a clinical mentality or standpoint
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when it comes to understanding what are you looking to get out
16:55
of this? What are your key fantasies?
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What are the things that entice you?
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What are the things that make you recoil?
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We talked about it. The yucks and yums, the green
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lights, the yellow lights, the red lights.
17:08
It's Where are your boundaries? This is a question that sounds
17:11
like I'm in a job interview, but what are you hoping to
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accomplish? 1 sub wants to be haunted
17:17
through the woods, to be caught, to be taken to be.
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And this word might might make a couple of people blanch but to
17:24
be bred, you know, to be owned, but for it to be done by someone
17:28
they can trust somebody. This is possibly my emergency
17:31
contact who you calling to pick you up from getting your dental
17:34
work done. Oh my my Dom wait what?
17:36
But it is it's that finding somebody who you can trust with
17:39
those levels of intimacy. Trying to find somebody who
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because we we live in such a disconnected world that being
17:45
able to find someone who can keep discretion when it comes to
17:49
the things that you hold most close to your chest is
17:53
difficult. But when you find somebody like
17:56
that, it's rewarding. So I am very just funny to say,
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given my predilections, I'm very gentle about it.
18:02
I, I take an approach of asking a lot of questions, doing a lot
18:05
of comfort talking through breathing exercises.
18:08
I've done the coffee sit downs, I've done the phone calls.
18:11
But it always is a couple of very large and involved
18:15
conversations. And then the first session is
18:17
always something that's very subtle and slow and intentional
18:22
and commutative, because the potential for that being
18:27
involved and rewarding is infinite.
18:30
Yes, so long as the schedule's wide open.
18:32
But the lead up, you know, it's giving your hand, it's placing
18:37
your physical well-being in the hands of a stranger.
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I would like to think that all Doms take that very seriously.
18:45
I think that's probably how I define a real Dom from a fake
18:48
Dom is taking that part seriously building that trust.
18:51
And you mentioned this is something that it took me way
18:54
too long to learn. The first session is just sort
18:57
of like a progressive part of the vetting process because you
19:01
shouldn't go from zero to 100 because 100 reads something you
19:05
don't want. And I'd rather catch it at 0 to
19:08
20 and be like, actually, I wasn't so into that part.
19:11
And that is something that I learned more in my 30s than in
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my 20s, I will say that. I mean, and that doesn't that
19:18
just kind of speak to sexual education when it comes to the
19:22
by and large. But yeah, it's a journey that we
19:25
all kind of take. It is an understanding that we
19:27
all kind of reach and that first session.
19:30
It can be, it can be a nail biter.
19:32
I had a sub who was 5 foot one, right, 100 and something pounds.
19:38
This was had certain issues with musculature and disability.
19:42
And so we were kind of like we were talking our way through the
19:44
thing and very nervous. But I had done my very best to
19:47
do what I always do and ease our way into the butterflies, the
19:51
shakes. I was a nervous rack through
19:53
session one because I'm like, OK, we're if it's nice and slow,
19:56
we're going to go 234 real quick pumps and we're going to go nice
20:00
and we're going to go shallow. And then maybe we'll work a
20:02
little bit more in like, how are we doing?
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How are we? And I'm sitting there going, I
20:06
feel like a swim instructor. I feel like I'm holding a human
20:11
being in the water and I'm like, OK, I'm going to let go.
20:14
Now, funny enough, this is a person who we ended up
20:18
developing quite the interaction.
20:20
We had quite a few sessions and they got more progressively and
20:24
progressively. More impactful, both
20:27
psychologically, but also physically, you know, and it was
20:30
like it got to a point where there's this, these
20:33
conversations about I want to be able to call you this.
20:36
I want to be able to do that. I found myself in that situation
20:38
starting out being like, I'm just, I just want to do a good
20:41
job. And, you know, please leave me a
20:43
very good Yelp review. And then and then that
20:46
individual 6-8, it was about nine months later being like, I
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want to have AC and C scene. I want you to just run, push,
20:56
open the front door, tumble through the living space, tear
20:59
my clothes off, throw me up against surfaces.
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And then it's like growl at me, you know, I want a couple of
21:05
bite marks on me afterwards. And that's the progression.
21:08
You know, if you move slowly, if you move with respect and with
21:12
communication, Subs, doms, everybody's going to come away
21:16
from the situation. Switches.
21:17
Everybody's going to come away from the situation feeling more
21:20
and more emboldened, but also because of that level of comfort
21:23
and trust. Yeah, you're literally the word
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I thought of is you're empowering your partner.
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If you the most slow steps forward, both people end up more
21:32
empowered. Did you know going in she would
21:34
ever ask for a CNC? No, this was somebody who was so
21:39
funny, and I'm sure you can relate to this.
21:41
It was somebody who was like, oh, I'm very vanilla, Let's talk
21:44
about that. Well, I'm vanilla, but I've
21:47
always thought about having somebody masturbate me.
21:50
Well, my hands were tied above my head.
21:51
OK, Vanilla's over here. You've stepped very firmly into
21:56
territory. OK.
21:57
Also, every so often, you know, my friends talk about female
22:00
ejaculation and I don't know what that's about.
22:02
Do you know anything about that? Yeah.
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It's the slow and steady steps. And it's like making any big
22:08
decision. It's like skydiving.
22:09
It's that you take the small steps towards the edge because
22:13
you still kind of like, yes, I am wearing.
22:15
I do have protection. I do have this sense about it.
22:19
But I'm getting closer and closer to this thing that my
22:21
brain is panicking about. But if I'm comforted, if I'm
22:24
reassured, if I am built up as a person with my own independence,
22:29
then I'm going to feel more and more comfortable getting closer
22:31
and closer to that edge and eventually jumping out without a
22:34
fear of actual danger, even if the eventual is the implication
22:40
of danger, Right? It's the CNCC going from I'm a
22:43
vanilla, I'm a vanilla, I'm a vanilla sub to, you know, to
22:47
somebody who didn't really know the implications is the word
22:50
suburb what it meant to. I've always had this fantasy
22:53
about a man of your stature taking me almost violently and
22:59
doing what they wanted to with me.
23:01
So you're like, OK, but also we can do AC and C scene.
23:04
But I also know what toy you like, where you like it.
23:08
I'm going to be able to incorporate that into it without
23:11
verbally communicating, knowing if anything goes wrong or you
23:15
get in your head about something or you end up having an anxiety
23:19
attack, you're going to be able to tell me or indicate to me.
23:21
You're going to have a safe sign.
23:22
You're going to have a safe word.
23:23
And we're going to be able to roll that down to 0 miles an
23:27
hour real quick. You know it's human connection
23:29
on probably the most beautiful and most anxiety inducing of
23:35
levels. It's rare that I am speechless,
23:38
truly. Like I always have something to
23:40
say and what I'm going to say is this now, This is why you're one
23:43
of my favorite creators because you're not just a storyteller.
23:47
No, I know I'm going to fangirl for a second.
23:48
Allow me, first of all, your ability to build your analogies
23:53
and visual world creating of the way you just seamlessly
23:56
explained and went from skydiving to kink and how I
23:59
perfectly understood those two top notch, 100% five gold stars.
24:04
And it seems small that I don't think you understood what you
24:06
just said. The thing about it, though, is
24:09
that, right we're these beautiful, complex, perfectly
24:12
imperfect beings, right, who live in a world where we got to
24:15
pay taxes. We got to do the 9:00 to 5:00.
24:17
We got to make sure that we know exactly where we're getting the
24:20
next meal from and navigating the social graces of the world
24:23
at the same time. We comfort ourselves with
24:26
stories. We comfort ourselves with the
24:29
fantasy, with the removal from the reality and but being able
24:33
to be a storyteller and an educator at the same time,
24:36
educating through the story, having a having a quote UN quote
24:40
moral to the story is kind of the icing on the cake.
24:43
I know you know that we from day-to-day, we face chaos and
24:48
uncertainty and we don't know sometimes how the day is going
24:52
to end, but being able to at times just be able to remove
24:55
ourselves from that and be able to be comforted by it.
24:57
And we do that both through the fantastical, through quote UN
25:02
quote, the nerdy shit, through sport and physical activity and
25:06
all these other things. But we also do it through to
25:09
sex. Yes.
25:11
We're able to recenter and recalibrate ourselves through
25:15
sexual gratification and pleasure.
25:17
I'm also still thinking about everything you just said.
25:19
The way you sprinkled in safe words, the way you sprinkled in
25:22
someone else's pleasure into that.
25:25
Those are the building blocks to a great scene.
25:27
Knowing those things exist and having spent time learning them
25:30
and how to use them. Both safe words and toys and
25:33
knowing. And I think I think what's
25:35
interesting about you and I have in this conversation, and I
25:38
think that you can state this from your unique perspective and
25:41
I can state it from mine. But I think a thing that needs
25:44
to be hammered home, a thing that needs to be talked about is
25:47
flying in the face of what I've labeled as performative
25:50
pornography. Recognizing that you providing
25:54
pleasure or understanding the pleasure of another person and
25:58
being able to provide that experience for them is not only
26:02
going to one want them to make them want to reciprocate, but
26:05
it's also going to make them want to keep coming back and
26:09
trust that link and reassert themselves in that intimate
26:14
bond. It's not a one and done, it's
26:16
not a Wham bam, thank you ma'am. It's a constant growth that
26:19
keeps pulling you back in in the best way.
26:21
Maybe I'm speaking for myself. The Wham, the bam, and the thank
26:24
you ma'am has never been as wonderful as everybody who makes
26:28
it out to be. It's too much to the assumption,
26:30
not enough of the actual practice, and we build better as
26:34
people when we are allowed to not be weighing our fuck impulse
26:40
against our fight impulse and our flight impulse.
26:42
You know what I mean? I should be capable of trusting
26:44
somebody who is not only naked with me, but is handling the
26:48
most delicate parts of my anatomy.
26:51
I know you are quite literally exposed and vulnerable.
26:55
I mentioned before this this sub sect of Venus owning culture
26:59
where it's like my ultimate goal is to rack up blowjobs from
27:03
people who are willing to give them to me.
27:05
I want you to pump the frickin brakes and think about the fact
27:08
that you have now put your penis in somebody's mouth and that
27:11
you're you're you're taking your life into your own hands on that
27:14
one. What is the connection?
27:15
I might be saying to the sub on your knees, open your mouth.
27:20
But if I am doing that, is it because I want it or is it
27:24
because it's something that I know that they want and it they
27:27
incorporate it into the sexual experience?
27:29
As a Dom, you have to be willing to understand the perspective of
27:34
the person on their knees as much as you understand that the
27:37
persona of the person standing standing above them.
27:39
Because if you're not willing to understand both of those angles,
27:42
all you're going to be is the guy who wanted me to suck his
27:47
Dick. That's how you're going down in
27:48
the group chat. It might have felt good now, but
27:51
think about the evisceration you're about to have on
27:54
iMessage. I'm sorry.
27:56
Just wanted to add a bit of levity to that because that's
27:59
everything you said is true. I sent you a text and your phone
28:02
lit up and it was just the #3 and the little squirt emoji.
28:05
What does that mean? Oh you know, we're far more
28:10
complex and beautiful individuals than that.
28:12
We are far more messy at times, just stunning.
28:16
And the fact that people oversimplify, yes, especially
28:20
when it comes to sex is mind numbing.
28:23
It is truly shocking the yarn we would have to unwrap.
28:27
Like to go back and find out where that comes from is too
28:30
much for today's episode. OK, I have one last question for
28:33
you. I ask a lot of people this and I
28:36
I'm really interested in your what advice do you have for
28:39
someone who's kinky and they want to explore it and they just
28:43
don't know where to start? Find people like you and I,
28:46
Amanda, do your research. I started mine at an age where I
28:51
was in a puritanical space where sex was not to be had unless it
28:56
was for procreation, where we did not talk about that.
28:59
We did not engage in that conversation.
29:01
And I had to go out on my own and I had to find the
29:04
information and I was nervous and I was constantly worried
29:07
that a librarian was going to stumble across.
29:09
And what are you doing here? The information is there.
29:12
There are sources. The Hirschfeld Institute of
29:15
1919, the Kinsey Institute, the Somatic Institute, These are
29:19
places that you can investigate places like OMG, yes, there are
29:23
sources that exist. You can do it digitally.
29:26
So you do have that removal from it.
29:28
You know your podcast, your podcast, you provide
29:32
information, you introduce people to other sources, sources
29:36
that you yourself have vetted. In this situation, you are the
29:40
information, Dom. I'm just saying trust your gut.
29:43
Don't be afraid to ask questions and look for sources that make
29:46
you feel both welcome and like you are not an oddity.
29:51
You are a beautiful person, discovering themselves and
29:56
finding out who they want to be and how they want pleasure and
30:00
recognizing that that is a fundamental part of your
30:04
experience this earth. That is amazing.
30:08
So if like me, you are obsessed and want more of Nick, you can
30:12
find Nick on TikTok, which is where I first discovered him as
30:16
Nick the Forge Bear on on Instagram as Forge Bear
30:20
creations. Then he has an extremely active
30:23
Patreon that you should check out.
30:25
So it's patreon.com/nick the Forge Bear and that's Nik.
30:30
Important note. If you find him in one of those
30:32
places, you'll find him everywhere.
30:33
Thank you so much for joining me Nick today.
30:36
I look forward to hopefully being one of the first guests on
30:39
your future podcast. I'm.
30:41
Going to hold you to that. I'm going to hold you to that.
30:44
Anytime, anytime. All right.
30:46
Thanks so much. Have a good one.
30:51
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave
30:53
a review, and share it with anyone who might find it
30:56
interesting. And if you have any questions or
30:58
topics you'd like me to cover in future episodes, feel free to
31:00
reach out e-mail info@thekingconsultant.com.
31:04
Until next time, keep on Kinkin on.