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EP 30: The Midweek Reset: Healthy Boundaries Are More Yes Than No · Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach

• 0:00
  Have you ever noticed that when we talk about boundaries on the podcast, we almost always
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  talk about what we have to give up, the things that we have to say no to, the activities
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  we can't do, or the opportunities that we might have to miss?
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  But what if healthy boundaries aren't about saying no?
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  What if they're actually about protecting your most important yes?
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  If you're tired of people-pleasing, caring too much, and wondering why peace still feels
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  so hard to hold onto, you're in the right place.
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  Hi, I'm Lori, mom, former people-pleaser, and your Boundaries Coach.
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  Here we talk about how to protect your peace, set healthier boundaries, and get clear on
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  what actually matters so that you can build a life that feels lighter, calmer, and more
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  satisfying.
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  So let's stop the chaos for a minute, moms, catch our breath, and get into this next episode.
• 1:01
  Welcome back to Healthy Boundaries for Moms.
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  I am your host, Lori Grimes, and this is your midweek reset, which is just a quick dose
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  of encouragement and perspective to help you realign with what matters most.
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  So recap, on Monday's podcast, we talked about boundaries 101, what boundaries are,
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  and what they're not.
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  But today, I want to offer a different perspective, because I think many of us hear the word boundary
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  and immediately think restriction.
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  We think about all the things that we're not going to be able to do anymore, all the things
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  that we're just going to have to say no to, or the opportunities that we're going to miss,
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  and before long, boundaries just kind of start to feel like walls and like a prison
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  of sorts.
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  Like they're keeping us from the life that we really want.
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  But what if healthy boundaries aren't meant to shrink your life?
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  Maybe they were actually there to create space for it.
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  So like this, I think sometimes we're viewing boundaries through this lens of scarcity.
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  If I say no to this, I'm going to miss out, right?
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  We have the FOMO, fear of missing out.
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  If I don't volunteer, someone will be disappointed in me.
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  So that's that people pleasing piece.
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  If I don't sign my child up for one more activity, they're going to fall behind all their peers.
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  How about if I take time for myself, that's time I'm taking away from someone else.
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  But healthy boundaries are not about scarcity.
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  They're about stewardship.
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  They're about intentionally protecting the things that God has called us to prioritize.
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  So this week, I found myself thinking about that.
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  The other day, I dropped off my kids for a movie, and while they enjoyed their movie,
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  I headed straight to a bookstore because I really needed some time to work on the podcast.
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  And I wanted to take some time to look through some home and design magazines because I love
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  to create and I love decor.
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  And it really fills me up when I get to look at beauty and learn about things like that.
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  And my kids got something that they enjoyed.
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  They got to go see this movie that they wanted to see with their friends.
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  So I got to work toward a goal that was important to me while also investing in something that
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  I love.
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  And nobody lost.
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  I think that's like the piece we're missing.
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  No one had to sacrifice.
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  We simply just found a way to honor both of them.
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  And I think that's where many of us moms are getting stuck.
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  We assume it's either our needs or our family's needs.
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  Like they are diametrically opposed.
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  Either I'm going to get my health goals done, or it's going to be family time.
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  Or either I'm going to have my personal growth, or I'm going to serve others.
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  Either rest or productivity.
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  But often there's another option.
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  Sometimes healthy boundaries help us to get creative.
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  Maybe you need to get your steps in so you take a walk with your family.
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  I remember during my daughter's soccer season, I would watch half of her practice and then
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  I would walk for half of her practice.
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  So both of those things were met.
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  I got to see her play and I got to get my steps in.
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  Maybe your kids want to go to the park and you need movement and fresh air too.
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  Maybe just going out with your kids for a walk takes care of both of those things.
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  With my son, he is strength training right now.
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  And he is doing that with his two other friends.
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  So I'm also strength training.
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  So with the summer, I changed up my schedule to match theirs.
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  And so now I take them to strength train and I also strength train at the same time.
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  Maybe your kids are working on summer reading and you want them to be focused on that.
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  You don't have to be on top of their summer reading.
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  You can let them do that while you work on a project that's important to you.
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  How about maybe protecting your health would look like choosing meals that support not
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  only your goals, but also your family's goals at the same time.
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  Those can be connected.
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  Or how about family connection?
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  We do a lot of evening walks in our neighborhood and that helps us get the dog out for a walk.
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  And it gives everyone a chance to connect and talk and see the beauty of our neighborhood.
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  And it's just a really great moment for us, especially in the summer.
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  So maybe one of the most important boundaries you keep is simply just going to bed on time
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  instead of filling every evening with commitments.
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  So what is the point I'm trying to make?
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  I'm trying to say that healthy boundaries aren't always about closing doors.
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  Sometimes they're about opening the right ones for the season.
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  And in Ephesians 5, 15 through 16, it says, be careful then how you live, not as unwise,
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  but as wise, making the most of every opportunity.
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  And I love that verse because it's reminding us that intentional living, it matters.
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  We are not called to do everything.
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  We are just called to be wise stewards of the time and the energy and the opportunities
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  that God is giving us.
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  And sometimes, guys, wisdom isn't found in doing more.
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  Sometimes it's found in creating the space for what matters most.
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  And in Romans 12 too, it tells us, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but
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  be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
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  So I use this idea in the mindset that we need to renew the idea that boundaries are
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  not restrictive.
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  Maybe boundaries aren't about limitation.
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  Maybe they're more about alignment.
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  And maybe they're one of the ways that God is helping us build a life that really reflects
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  our priorities instead of everyone else's expectations of us.
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  So here is your midweek reset question.
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  What important yes are your boundaries protecting right now?
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  And where might God be inviting you to get creative instead of simply just saying no?
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  Fred, healthy boundaries aren't always about a sacrifice.
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  Sometimes they're just about stewardship.
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  Hey friend, I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
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  If so, would you take 30 seconds and go join our free Facebook page at Healthy Boundaries
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  for Moms?
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  That's where we go deeper, share what's actually working, and support each other in
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  real life.
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  I will also share some great tools and tips to help you along this journey.
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  I have also included a link to sign up for our brand new weekly newsletter in the Facebook
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  group.
• 7:53
  Don't forget to hit follow and leave a quick review on Apple.
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  It really lets me know that this podcast is helping you.
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  More importantly, it helps more women find this podcast.
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  Now go say no to something that's stealing your peace and say yes to something you actually
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  need.
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  And I'll meet you back here in the next episode.