Latest / Confident and Empowered Women / Confidence Grows in the Gap — What Discomfort Is Asking of You | EP 275

Transcript

Confidence Grows in the Gap — What Discomfort Is Asking of You | EP 275 · Confident and Empowered Women

• 0:00
  Confidence
• 0:00
  doesn't
• 0:01
  disappear
• 0:02
  when
• 0:02
  discomfort
• 0:02
  shows
• 0:03
  up.
• 0:03
  That's
• 0:04
  usually
• 0:04
  when
• 0:04
  it's
• 0:04
  formed.
• 0:05
  If
• 0:05
  confidence
• 0:06
  feels
• 0:06
  shaky
• 0:07
  in
• 0:07
  the
• 0:07
  moment,
• 0:07
  things
• 0:08
  get
• 0:08
  uncomfortable,
• 0:09
  it's
• 0:09
  not
• 0:09
  because
• 0:10
  you're
• 0:10
  doing
• 0:10
  something
• 0:10
  wrong,
• 0:11
  it's
• 0:11
  because
• 0:11
  you're
• 0:12
  standing
• 0:12
  in
• 0:13
  the
• 0:13
  gap.
• 0:14
  And
• 0:14
  today
• 0:15
  we're
• 0:15
  talking
• 0:15
  about
• 0:16
  what
• 0:16
  that
• 0:16
  gap
• 0:17
  is
• 0:17
  and
• 0:17
  what
• 0:17
  discomfort
• 0:18
  is
• 0:18
  actually
• 0:19
  trying
• 0:20
  to
• 0:20
  teach
• 0:20
  you.
• 0:22
  Welcome
• 0:23
  back
• 0:23
  to
• 0:23
  the
• 0:23
  series,
• 0:24
  unavailable
• 0:25
  for
• 0:25
  Self
• 0:25
  Abandonment,
• 0:26
  a
• 0:26
  series
• 0:27
  for
• 0:27
  women
• 0:27
  who
• 0:28
  are
• 0:28
  done
• 0:29
  negotiating
• 0:30
  with
• 0:30
  themselves.
• 0:31
  This
• 0:31
  is
• 0:31
  for
• 0:32
  the
• 0:32
  woman
• 0:32
  who's
• 0:32
  confident
• 0:33
  enough
• 0:33
  to
• 0:33
  disappoint
• 0:34
  because
• 0:34
  self-trust
• 0:35
  is
• 0:35
  now
• 0:36
  the
• 0:36
  new
• 0:37
  standard
• 0:37
  here.
• 0:38
  Confidence
• 0:39
  is
• 0:39
  more
• 0:39
  than
• 0:39
  a
• 0:40
  feeling.
• 0:40
  It's
• 0:41
  a
• 0:41
  belief
• 0:41
  formed
• 0:42
  through
• 0:42
  action,
• 0:43
  practice,
• 0:43
  and
• 0:43
  repetition.
• 0:45
  It's
• 0:45
  what
• 0:45
  you
• 0:45
  do
• 0:46
  when
• 0:46
  it
• 0:46
  would
• 0:46
  be
• 0:46
  easier
• 0:47
  to
• 0:47
  explain
• 0:47
  yourself.
• 0:48
  Perform.
• 0:49
  Or
• 0:50
  betray
• 0:50
  what
• 0:51
  you
• 0:51
  already
• 0:51
  know
• 0:52
  is
• 0:52
  true
• 0:52
  for
• 0:52
  you.
• 0:53
  So
• 0:53
  if
• 0:53
  you're
• 0:54
  ready
• 0:54
  to
• 0:54
  stop
• 0:54
  abandoning
• 0:55
  yourself
• 0:56
  just
• 0:56
  to
• 0:56
  keep
• 0:57
  the
• 0:57
  peace,
• 0:57
  you
• 0:58
  my
• 0:58
  friend,
• 0:58
  are
• 0:58
  in
• 0:59
  the
• 0:59
  right
• 0:59
  place.
• 1:01
  Confident
• 1:02
  and
• 1:02
  empowered
• 1:02
  women
• 1:03
  exist
• 1:04
  for
• 1:04
  women
• 1:04
  who
• 1:04
  want
• 1:05
  to
• 1:05
  feel
• 1:05
  grounded
• 1:06
  in
• 1:06
  who
• 1:06
  they
• 1:06
  are
• 1:07
  while
• 1:08
  they
• 1:08
  grow
• 1:08
  into
• 1:08
  who
• 1:08
  they're
• 1:09
  becoming.
• 1:09
  Here
• 1:10
  we
• 1:10
  talk
• 1:10
  about
• 1:11
  self-love,
• 1:11
  self-trust,
• 1:13
  discipline,
• 1:13
  without
• 1:14
  burnout,
• 1:15
  emotional
• 1:15
  safety,
• 1:16
  boundaries,
• 1:16
  confidence,
• 1:17
  and
• 1:17
  showing
• 1:18
  up
• 1:18
  consistently
• 1:19
  in
• 1:19
  a
• 1:19
  way
• 1:20
  that
• 1:20
  actually
• 1:21
  last.
• 1:22
  This
• 1:22
  isn't
• 1:23
  about
• 1:23
  hustling
• 1:24
  or
• 1:24
  proving
• 1:24
  yourself.
• 1:25
  It's
• 1:25
  about
• 1:25
  building
• 1:26
  a
• 1:26
  life
• 1:26
  that
• 1:26
  feels
• 1:27
  aligned
• 1:28
  and
• 1:28
  sustainable.
• 1:29
  If
• 1:29
  you're
• 1:29
  looking
• 1:29
  for
• 1:29
  conversations
• 1:30
  that
• 1:31
  support
• 1:31
  your
• 1:31
  nervous
• 1:31
  system
• 1:32
  and
• 1:32
  your
• 1:32
  goals.
• 1:33
  You
• 1:33
  found
• 1:34
  your
• 1:34
  new
• 1:34
  favorite
• 1:35
  podcast
• 1:36
  subscribing
• 1:37
  just
• 1:37
  means
• 1:38
  you
• 1:38
  don't
• 1:38
  have
• 1:38
  to
• 1:38
  negotiate
• 1:39
  these
• 1:39
  seasons
• 1:40
  all
• 1:40
  on
• 1:40
  your
• 1:40
  lonesome.
• 1:41
  This
• 1:42
  space
• 1:42
  is
• 1:42
  here
• 1:43
  to
• 1:43
  support
• 1:43
  you
• 1:43
  as
• 1:44
  you
• 1:44
  evolved,
• 1:45
  and
• 1:45
  I
• 1:46
  couldn't
• 1:46
  be
• 1:47
  happier
• 1:47
  to
• 1:48
  connect
• 1:48
  with
• 1:48
  you
• 1:48
  here.
• 1:50
  Hey,
• 1:51
  hey,
• 1:51
  hey
• 1:51
  Queen.
• 1:52
  Welcome
• 1:52
  back
• 1:53
  to
• 1:53
  Confident
• 1:53
  and
• 1:54
  Empowered
• 1:54
  Women.
• 1:55
  This
• 1:56
  episode
• 1:57
  is
• 1:57
  part
• 1:57
  of
• 1:57
  our
• 1:58
  unavailable
• 1:59
  for
• 1:59
  self
• 1:59
  abandonment
• 2:00
  series,
• 2:01
  conversations
• 2:02
  for
• 2:02
  the
• 2:02
  woman
• 2:03
  who
• 2:03
  is
• 2:03
  done
• 2:04
  negotiating
• 2:05
  with
• 2:05
  herself
• 2:06
  confident
• 2:06
  enough
• 2:07
  to
• 2:07
  disappoint
• 2:07
  because
• 2:08
  self-trust
• 2:08
  is
• 2:08
  now
• 2:09
  the
• 2:09
  new
• 2:10
  standard.
• 2:10
  Ooh,
• 2:11
  I
• 2:11
  love
• 2:11
  that
• 2:11
  line
• 2:12
  so
• 2:12
  much.
• 2:12
  It
• 2:13
  even
• 2:13
  gives
• 2:13
  me
• 2:14
  a
• 2:14
  little
• 2:14
  pep
• 2:14
  in
• 2:14
  my
• 2:15
  step.
• 2:15
  Okay.
• 2:17
  And
• 2:18
  today
• 2:18
  we
• 2:19
  are
• 2:19
  continuing
• 2:20
  the
• 2:20
  conversation.
• 2:21
  We
• 2:21
  started
• 2:21
  last
• 2:21
  episode
• 2:22
  because
• 2:23
  once
• 2:23
  you
• 2:23
  understand
• 2:24
  that
• 2:24
  confidence
• 2:25
  is
• 2:25
  conditioning,
• 2:27
  the
• 2:27
  next
• 2:27
  question
• 2:28
  becomes,
• 2:28
  what
• 2:29
  do
• 2:29
  I
• 2:29
  do
• 2:29
  when
• 2:30
  discomfort
• 2:30
  shows
• 2:31
  up
• 2:31
  and
• 2:31
  try
• 2:31
  to
• 2:32
  knock
• 2:32
  me
• 2:32
  off
• 2:32
  my
• 2:32
  center?
• 2:33
  That's
• 2:34
  exactly
• 2:34
  what
• 2:35
  we're
• 2:35
  getting
• 2:35
  into.
• 2:36
  Confidence
• 2:37
  grows
• 2:37
  in
• 2:38
  the
• 2:38
  gap.
• 2:39
  Discomfort
• 2:40
  is
• 2:40
  really
• 2:41
  trying
• 2:41
  to
• 2:41
  teach
• 2:41
  you
• 2:41
  something.
• 2:42
  The
• 2:43
  gap
• 2:43
  is
• 2:43
  that
• 2:44
  space
• 2:44
  between
• 2:45
  uncomfortable
• 2:46
  and
• 2:46
  comfortable.
• 2:47
  The
• 2:47
  gap
• 2:48
  is
• 2:48
  where
• 2:48
  most
• 2:49
  people
• 2:49
  panic.
• 2:50
  It's
• 2:50
  where
• 2:50
  we
• 2:50
  overthink,
• 2:51
  where
• 2:52
  we
• 2:52
  assume
• 2:53
  that
• 2:53
  naturally
• 2:54
  something
• 2:55
  must
• 2:55
  have
• 2:55
  gone
• 2:55
  wrong.
• 2:56
  But
• 2:56
  the
• 2:56
  gap,
• 2:57
  that's
• 2:58
  really
• 2:58
  your
• 2:58
  training,
• 2:59
  ground
• 3:00
  discomfort
• 3:01
  isn't
• 3:01
  random.
• 3:02
  It's
• 3:02
  information.
• 3:03
  And
• 3:04
  most
• 3:04
  of
• 3:04
  us,
• 3:05
  we
• 3:05
  were
• 3:05
  never
• 3:06
  taught
• 3:06
  how
• 3:06
  to
• 3:07
  interpret
• 3:07
  it
• 3:07
  correctly.
• 3:09
  Two
• 3:09
  people
• 3:09
  can
• 3:10
  experience
• 3:10
  the
• 3:11
  exact
• 3:11
  same
• 3:12
  discomfort.
• 3:13
  One
• 3:13
  might
• 3:14
  interpret
• 3:14
  it
• 3:15
  as,
• 3:15
  I'm
• 3:15
  not
• 3:16
  ready,
• 3:16
  I
• 3:16
  should
• 3:17
  stop,
• 3:17
  and
• 3:18
  the
• 3:18
  other
• 3:18
  could
• 3:18
  interpret
• 3:19
  it
• 3:19
  as
• 3:19
  this
• 3:20
  matters.
• 3:20
  I'm
• 3:21
  growing
• 3:22
  same
• 3:22
  sensation,
• 3:23
  different
• 3:24
  interpretation,
• 3:25
  and
• 3:26
  different
• 3:26
  outcome.
• 3:27
  Your
• 3:28
  interpretation
• 3:29
  of
• 3:29
  discomfort
• 3:30
  shapes
• 3:31
  your
• 3:31
  confidence,
• 3:32
  your
• 3:32
  identity,
• 3:33
  and
• 3:34
  your
• 3:34
  future
• 3:34
  choices.
• 3:35
  Your
• 3:36
  inner
• 3:36
  world.
• 3:37
  Is
• 3:38
  the
• 3:38
  main
• 3:39
  world
• 3:39
  you
• 3:40
  live
• 3:40
  in
• 3:41
  and
• 3:41
  it's
• 3:42
  constantly
• 3:42
  reflecting
• 3:43
  back
• 3:43
  to
• 3:43
  you,
• 3:44
  and
• 3:44
  that's
• 3:45
  main
• 3:45
  character
• 3:46
  energy
• 3:46
  because
• 3:46
  main
• 3:47
  characters
• 3:47
  don't
• 3:48
  avoid
• 3:48
  tension.
• 3:49
  They
• 3:50
  understand
• 3:50
  it's
• 3:51
  part
• 3:51
  of
• 3:51
  the
• 3:51
  plot.
• 3:52
  Think
• 3:53
  of
• 3:53
  it
• 3:53
  this
• 3:53
  way,
• 3:54
  you
• 3:54
  can
• 3:54
  have
• 3:55
  two
• 3:55
  people
• 3:56
  in
• 3:56
  a
• 3:56
  relationship
• 3:57
  who
• 3:58
  are
• 3:58
  both
• 3:58
  having
• 3:59
  two
• 3:59
  very
• 4:00
  different
• 4:00
  experiences.
• 4:02
  You
• 4:02
  can
• 4:02
  have
• 4:02
  one
• 4:03
  person
• 4:03
  who
• 4:04
  is
• 4:04
  basically
• 4:05
  at
• 4:05
  like
• 4:05
  the
• 4:06
  Disney
• 4:06
  world
• 4:07
  of
• 4:07
  relationships.
• 4:08
  They
• 4:09
  are
• 4:09
  having
• 4:09
  the
• 4:10
  time
• 4:10
  of
• 4:10
  their
• 4:10
  life.
• 4:11
  It's
• 4:11
  the
• 4:11
  happiest
• 4:12
  place
• 4:12
  on
• 4:12
  earth
• 4:13
  for
• 4:13
  them.
• 4:16
  While
• 4:17
  the
• 4:17
  other
• 4:17
  person
• 4:18
  might
• 4:18
  as
• 4:18
  well
• 4:19
  be
• 4:19
  on
• 4:19
  Skid
• 4:19
  Row,
• 4:20
  because
• 4:21
  at
• 4:21
  times
• 4:21
  is
• 4:21
  rough
• 4:22
  and
• 4:22
  it's
• 4:22
  real
• 4:23
  tough.
• 4:26
  Same
• 4:26
  relationship,
• 4:28
  two
• 4:28
  different
• 4:28
  experiences,
• 4:30
  But
• 4:30
  the
• 4:30
  way
• 4:30
  that
• 4:31
  you
• 4:31
  interpret
• 4:32
  things
• 4:32
  is
• 4:33
  really
• 4:33
  everything,
• 4:35
  because
• 4:35
  you
• 4:36
  live
• 4:37
  inside
• 4:38
  of
• 4:38
  your
• 4:39
  perceptions
• 4:40
  because
• 4:40
  your
• 4:40
  perceptions
• 4:41
  are
• 4:42
  reality.
• 4:43
  So
• 4:43
  if
• 4:44
  your
• 4:44
  default
• 4:44
  setting
• 4:45
  is
• 4:45
  always
• 4:46
  glass
• 4:46
  half
• 4:47
  empty,
• 4:48
  this
• 4:48
  is
• 4:48
  where
• 4:49
  I
• 4:49
  encourage
• 4:49
  you
• 4:50
  to
• 4:50
  just
• 4:51
  start
• 4:52
  leaning
• 4:52
  more
• 4:53
  into.
• 4:54
  The
• 4:54
  glass
• 4:54
  is
• 4:55
  halfway
• 4:55
  full,
• 4:56
  and
• 4:56
  if
• 4:57
  you
• 4:57
  really
• 4:57
  wanna
• 4:58
  be
• 4:58
  main
• 4:58
  character
• 4:58
  about
• 4:59
  it,
• 4:59
  go
• 5:00
  ahead
• 5:00
  and
• 5:00
  see
• 5:00
  that
• 5:01
  cup
• 5:01
  as.
• 5:01
  Overflowing
• 5:03
  because
• 5:03
  that's
• 5:04
  really
• 5:05
  where
• 5:05
  we
• 5:05
  thrive.
• 5:06
  We've
• 5:06
  been
• 5:07
  taught
• 5:07
  that
• 5:07
  uncomfortable
• 5:09
  means
• 5:09
  Stop,
• 5:10
  avoid,
• 5:10
  pull
• 5:10
  back,
• 5:11
  wait
• 5:11
  until
• 5:12
  you
• 5:12
  feel
• 5:13
  better
• 5:13
  or
• 5:14
  what
• 5:14
  I've
• 5:14
  been
• 5:14
  really
• 5:15
  struggling
• 5:15
  with
• 5:15
  is
• 5:16
  waiting
• 5:16
  until
• 5:17
  I
• 5:17
  feel
• 5:17
  like
• 5:18
  it,
• 5:20
  which
• 5:20
  likely
• 5:21
  isn't
• 5:21
  gonna
• 5:22
  happen,
• 5:25
  but
• 5:26
  that's
• 5:26
  a
• 5:26
  story
• 5:26
  for
• 5:26
  a
• 5:27
  whole
• 5:27
  nother
• 5:27
  time.
• 5:28
  Discomfort
• 5:28
  is
• 5:29
  rarely
• 5:29
  danger.
• 5:30
  Most
• 5:31
  often,
• 5:32
  discomfort
• 5:32
  is
• 5:33
  your
• 5:33
  nervous
• 5:33
  system
• 5:34
  saying
• 5:34
  this
• 5:35
  is
• 5:35
  new.
• 5:35
  Pay
• 5:36
  attention.
• 5:37
  New
• 5:37
  conversations,
• 5:38
  new
• 5:38
  boundaries.
• 5:39
  Standards,
• 5:40
  a
• 5:40
  new
• 5:41
  version
• 5:41
  of
• 5:42
  you.
• 5:42
  Discomfort
• 5:43
  usually
• 5:43
  means
• 5:44
  you're
• 5:44
  stretching
• 5:45
  an
• 5:45
  identity,
• 5:46
  not
• 5:46
  failing
• 5:47
  one.
• 5:48
  Alert
• 5:48
  doesn't
• 5:49
  mean
• 5:49
  incapable,
• 5:50
  it
• 5:50
  means
• 5:51
  unfamiliar,
• 5:52
  and
• 5:52
  the
• 5:53
  invitation
• 5:54
  is
• 5:55
  to
• 5:55
  stick
• 5:55
  with
• 5:56
  the
• 5:56
  discomfort
• 5:57
  until
• 5:58
  you
• 5:58
  become
• 5:59
  comfortable.
• 6:00
  Now,
• 6:00
  here's
• 6:00
  what
• 6:01
  no
• 6:01
  one
• 6:01
  tells
• 6:01
  you.
• 6:02
  Comfort
• 6:02
  isn't
• 6:03
  something
• 6:03
  you
• 6:03
  wait
• 6:04
  for.
• 6:04
  It's
• 6:04
  something
• 6:05
  you
• 6:05
  create
• 6:06
  through
• 6:06
  repetition.
• 6:07
  Confidence
• 6:08
  lives
• 6:09
  in
• 6:09
  the
• 6:09
  bridge.
• 6:10
  The
• 6:10
  repeated
• 6:11
  choice
• 6:11
  to
• 6:12
  stay
• 6:12
  instead
• 6:13
  of
• 6:13
  escape.
• 6:14
  The
• 6:14
  goal
• 6:14
  isn't
• 6:15
  to
• 6:15
  eliminate
• 6:15
  discomfort.
• 6:16
  The
• 6:16
  goal
• 6:17
  is
• 6:17
  to
• 6:17
  stay
• 6:17
  long
• 6:18
  enough
• 6:18
  for
• 6:19
  unfamiliar
• 6:20
  to
• 6:20
  become
• 6:21
  familiar.
• 6:22
  That's
• 6:22
  conditioning,
• 6:24
  that's
• 6:24
  training.
• 6:25
  That's
• 6:26
  how
• 6:26
  confidence
• 6:27
  forms.
• 6:28
  Main
• 6:28
  character.
• 6:29
  Energy
• 6:29
  isn't
• 6:30
  confidence
• 6:30
  without
• 6:31
  fear.
• 6:31
  It's
• 6:32
  confidence
• 6:32
  that
• 6:33
  knows
• 6:33
  fear
• 6:34
  isn't
• 6:34
  in
• 6:35
  charge.
• 6:35
  She
• 6:36
  doesn't
• 6:36
  dramatize
• 6:37
  discomfort.
• 6:38
  She
• 6:38
  doesn't
• 6:38
  abandon
• 6:39
  herself
• 6:39
  inside
• 6:40
  it.
• 6:40
  She
• 6:41
  stays
• 6:41
  present
• 6:42
  because
• 6:42
  she
• 6:43
  knows
• 6:44
  this
• 6:44
  doesn't
• 6:45
  feel
• 6:45
  good
• 6:45
  yet
• 6:46
  and
• 6:47
  I
• 6:48
  can
• 6:48
  handle
• 6:49
  it.
• 6:49
  That's
• 6:50
  power.
• 6:52
  Most
• 6:52
  women
• 6:53
  don't
• 6:53
  struggle
• 6:53
  with
• 6:54
  understanding
• 6:54
  what
• 6:55
  they
• 6:55
  need.
• 6:55
  They
• 6:56
  struggle
• 6:56
  with
• 6:57
  staying
• 6:58
  connected
• 6:58
  to
• 6:58
  it.
• 6:58
  The
• 6:59
  Main
• 6:59
  Character
• 6:59
  Momentum
• 7:00
  Builder
• 7:00
  was
• 7:00
  designed
• 7:01
  to
• 7:01
  solve
• 7:01
  that.
• 7:02
  It
• 7:02
  supports
• 7:03
  you
• 7:03
  in
• 7:03
  choosing
• 7:04
  self-love
• 7:05
  consistently.
• 7:06
  Even
• 7:06
  when
• 7:06
  life
• 7:07
  gets
• 7:07
  busy
• 7:07
  or
• 7:08
  your
• 7:08
  energy
• 7:09
  shifts
• 7:09
  over
• 7:10
  time,
• 7:10
  that
• 7:11
  consistency
• 7:11
  becomes
• 7:12
  momentum.
• 7:13
  The
• 7:13
  kind
• 7:14
  that
• 7:14
  changes
• 7:14
  how
• 7:15
  you
• 7:15
  show
• 7:15
  up
• 7:15
  across
• 7:16
  your
• 7:16
  life.
• 7:16
  You'll
• 7:17
  find
• 7:17
  it
• 7:17
  a
• 7:17
  link
• 7:18
  below
• 7:18
  in
• 7:18
  the
• 7:18
  show
• 7:19
  notes.
• 7:19
  And
• 7:20
  now
• 7:20
  I
• 7:20
  wanna
• 7:21
  show
• 7:21
  you
• 7:21
  how
• 7:21
  to
• 7:21
  start
• 7:22
  choosing
• 7:22
  yourself
• 7:23
  in
• 7:23
  real
• 7:24
  time.
• 7:26
  Confidence
• 7:27
  doesn't
• 7:27
  grow
• 7:28
  from
• 7:28
  insight
• 7:29
  alone.
• 7:29
  It
• 7:29
  grows
• 7:30
  from
• 7:30
  what
• 7:30
  you
• 7:31
  do
• 7:31
  next.
• 7:32
  Everything
• 7:32
  we've
• 7:33
  talked
• 7:33
  about
• 7:33
  today
• 7:33
  comes
• 7:34
  back
• 7:34
  to
• 7:34
  one
• 7:35
  thing,
• 7:36
  staying
• 7:36
  connected
• 7:37
  to
• 7:37
  yourself.
• 7:38
  So
• 7:38
  I
• 7:38
  wanna
• 7:39
  show
• 7:39
  you
• 7:39
  exactly
• 7:39
  how
• 7:40
  to
• 7:40
  do
• 7:40
  that
• 7:40
  in
• 7:40
  real
• 7:41
  time.
• 7:41
  This
• 7:42
  is
• 7:42
  the
• 7:42
  self-love
• 7:42
  two
• 7:43
  step
• 7:43
  I
• 7:43
  come
• 7:43
  back
• 7:44
  to
• 7:44
  anytime
• 7:45
  discomfort
• 7:45
  shows
• 7:45
  up.
• 7:46
  And
• 7:46
  I
• 7:46
  wanna
• 7:46
  invite
• 7:47
  you
• 7:47
  to
• 7:47
  try
• 7:47
  it
• 7:47
  too.
• 7:48
  this
• 7:48
  one
• 7:48
  is
• 7:49
  the
• 7:49
  stay
• 7:50
  and
• 7:50
  reframe
• 7:51
  method.
• 7:52
  Because
• 7:52
  confidence
• 7:53
  grows
• 7:53
  when
• 7:54
  you
• 7:54
  stop
• 7:54
  leaving
• 7:55
  yourself
• 7:55
  in
• 7:55
  the
• 7:55
  gap.
• 7:56
  Step
• 7:57
  one,
• 7:57
  stay
• 7:58
  with
• 7:58
  yourself.
• 7:59
  This
• 7:59
  step
• 8:00
  is
• 8:00
  about
• 8:00
  resisting
• 8:01
  the
• 8:01
  urge
• 8:02
  to
• 8:03
  explain
• 8:03
  yourself,
• 8:04
  especially
• 8:05
  the
• 8:05
  overexplaining
• 8:06
  friend.
• 8:07
  We
• 8:07
  are
• 8:07
  not
• 8:07
  doing
• 8:07
  that
• 8:07
  no
• 8:08
  more
• 8:08
  or
• 8:08
  perform
• 8:09
  or
• 8:10
  abandon
• 8:10
  what
• 8:11
  you
• 8:11
  know.
• 8:12
  Instead,
• 8:12
  you
• 8:13
  pause
• 8:13
  and
• 8:13
  say,
• 8:14
  nothing
• 8:15
  has
• 8:15
  gone
• 8:15
  wrong.
• 8:16
  I'm
• 8:16
  just
• 8:16
  in
• 8:17
  the
• 8:17
  gap.
• 8:18
  And
• 8:18
  then
• 8:18
  ask
• 8:19
  yourself,
• 8:19
  what
• 8:20
  feels
• 8:20
  uncomfortable
• 8:21
  right
• 8:21
  now?
• 8:22
  Can
• 8:22
  I
• 8:22
  stay
• 8:22
  present
• 8:23
  without
• 8:24
  fixing
• 8:24
  or
• 8:24
  escaping?
• 8:26
  What
• 8:26
  do
• 8:26
  I
• 8:26
  know
• 8:27
  to
• 8:27
  be
• 8:27
  true
• 8:28
  even
• 8:28
  if
• 8:28
  I
• 8:28
  don't
• 8:29
  feel
• 8:29
  certain
• 8:30
  this
• 8:30
  matters?
• 8:31
  Because
• 8:31
  staying
• 8:32
  builds
• 8:33
  self-trust.
• 8:35
  Leaving
• 8:36
  just
• 8:36
  teaches
• 8:36
  your
• 8:36
  body,
• 8:37
  you're
• 8:37
  not
• 8:37
  safe
• 8:38
  to
• 8:38
  stay
• 8:38
  with
• 8:39
  yourself.
• 8:40
  So
• 8:40
  this
• 8:40
  step
• 8:41
  is
• 8:41
  so
• 8:42
  critical
• 8:42
  because
• 8:43
  the
• 8:43
  more
• 8:43
  that
• 8:43
  you
• 8:44
  practice
• 8:44
  it,
• 8:45
  the
• 8:45
  more
• 8:45
  that
• 8:46
  you
• 8:46
  build
• 8:46
  the
• 8:47
  muscle
• 8:47
  that
• 8:48
  reaffirms
• 8:49
  you
• 8:50
  to
• 8:50
  know
• 8:50
  that
• 8:50
  you,
• 8:51
  in
• 8:51
  fact,
• 8:52
  safe
• 8:53
  with
• 8:53
  yourself.
• 8:54
  Step
• 8:55
  two,
• 8:55
  reframe
• 8:56
  the
• 8:56
  discomfort.
• 8:57
  Now
• 8:58
  you
• 8:58
  choose
• 8:58
  the
• 8:59
  interpretation.
• 9:00
  Instead
• 9:01
  of,
• 9:01
  this
• 9:02
  means
• 9:02
  I'm
• 9:02
  not
• 9:02
  ready,
• 9:03
  try
• 9:03
  on
• 9:04
  this
• 9:05
  is
• 9:05
  training.
• 9:06
  Instead
• 9:07
  of
• 9:07
  this
• 9:08
  feels
• 9:08
  bad,
• 9:09
  I
• 9:09
  should
• 9:09
  stop.
• 9:10
  Instead
• 9:11
  say,
• 9:12
  this
• 9:12
  feels
• 9:13
  new
• 9:13
  and
• 9:13
  new
• 9:14
  is
• 9:14
  how
• 9:14
  confidence
• 9:15
  forms,
• 9:16
  and
• 9:17
  then
• 9:17
  you
• 9:17
  choose
• 9:18
  one
• 9:18
  aligned
• 9:19
  action.
• 9:20
  Not
• 9:20
  to
• 9:20
  feel
• 9:21
  confident,
• 9:22
  but
• 9:22
  to
• 9:22
  stay
• 9:22
  connected
• 9:23
  while
• 9:23
  you
• 9:24
  move.
• 9:25
  This
• 9:25
  matters
• 9:26
  because
• 9:26
  repetition
• 9:27
  is
• 9:27
  what
• 9:27
  creates
• 9:28
  familiarity
• 9:30
  and
• 9:30
  familiarity
• 9:31
  creates
• 9:32
  safety.
• 9:33
  Safety
• 9:34
  is
• 9:34
  the
• 9:34
  bestie
• 9:35
  to
• 9:35
  confidence.
• 9:36
  Now,
• 9:37
  let
• 9:38
  me
• 9:38
  pour
• 9:38
  into
• 9:38
  you
• 9:39
  real
• 9:39
  quick
• 9:39
  if
• 9:39
  discomfort
• 9:40
  has
• 9:40
  been
• 9:41
  loud
• 9:41
  lately.
• 9:42
  Please
• 9:42
  hear
• 9:42
  me
• 9:43
  when
• 9:43
  I
• 9:43
  say
• 9:43
  this
• 9:43
  with
• 9:44
  your
• 9:44
  whole
• 9:44
  heart.
• 9:46
  Friend,
• 9:46
  you
• 9:47
  are
• 9:47
  standing
• 9:48
  in
• 9:48
  the
• 9:48
  gap,
• 9:49
  and
• 9:50
  this
• 9:50
  is
• 9:50
  where
• 9:50
  confidence
• 9:51
  is
• 9:51
  built.
• 9:53
  You're
• 9:53
  not
• 9:53
  failing,
• 9:54
  you're
• 9:54
  not
• 9:54
  regressing,
• 9:55
  you're
• 9:55
  not
• 9:55
  behind.
• 9:57
  We
• 9:57
  are
• 9:57
  not
• 9:57
  negatively
• 9:58
  labeling.
• 9:59
  Who
• 10:00
  you
• 10:00
  are
• 10:01
  while
• 10:01
  you
• 10:01
  stand
• 10:02
  in
• 10:02
  this
• 10:02
  space.
• 10:03
  You
• 10:03
  don't
• 10:04
  need
• 10:04
  to
• 10:04
  rush
• 10:04
  yourself.
• 10:05
  You
• 10:06
  don't
• 10:06
  need
• 10:06
  to
• 10:06
  force
• 10:07
  clarity,
• 10:08
  and
• 10:08
  you
• 10:08
  don't
• 10:08
  need
• 10:09
  to
• 10:09
  become
• 10:09
  someone
• 10:10
  completely
• 10:11
  new.
• 10:11
  Just
• 10:12
  stay
• 10:13
  with
• 10:14
  yourself
• 10:15
  because
• 10:16
  the
• 10:16
  moment
• 10:16
  you
• 10:17
  reconnect
• 10:17
  to
• 10:18
  yourself,
• 10:19
  confidence
• 10:20
  returns.
• 10:22
  Here's
• 10:22
  what
• 10:22
  I
• 10:22
  want
• 10:23
  you
• 10:23
  to
• 10:23
  take
• 10:24
  with
• 10:24
  you.
• 10:25
  Confidence
• 10:25
  doesn't
• 10:26
  come
• 10:27
  from
• 10:27
  being
• 10:27
  self-centered.
• 10:28
  It
• 10:29
  comes
• 10:29
  from
• 10:29
  being
• 10:30
  self
• 10:30
  connected
• 10:31
  and
• 10:32
  every
• 10:32
  time
• 10:33
  you
• 10:33
  choose
• 10:33
  yourself.
• 10:34
  Even
• 10:34
  when
• 10:35
  it's
• 10:35
  uncomfortable,
• 10:36
  you
• 10:36
  build
• 10:36
  the
• 10:36
  kind
• 10:37
  of
• 10:37
  confidence
• 10:38
  that
• 10:38
  can't
• 10:38
  be
• 10:38
  shaken.
• 10:39
  Stay
• 10:40
  unavailable
• 10:41
  for
• 10:41
  self
• 10:41
  abandonment,
• 10:42
  and
• 10:43
  I'll
• 10:43
  meet
• 10:43
  you
• 10:44
  in
• 10:44
  the
• 10:44
  next
• 10:44
  conversation.