Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / Mojo Monday - The Stuff That Shapes Our Stress Response: Early Life Experiences and Daily Fundamentals

Transcript

Mojo Monday - The Stuff That Shapes Our Stress Response: Early Life Experiences and Daily Fundamentals · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, Welcome back to another episode of Mojo Monday.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I'm Cauli Taylor, and this week I'd like to touch
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: on something that I have found really fascinating and it's
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: something that I'm currently studying in my Masters and counseling,
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: and that is the connection between our early childhood experiences
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: and how we handle stress as adults. So, when we're young,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: our brains are developing rapidly, especially in the first thousand days,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: and the environment we grow up in plays a huge
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: role in shaping how we respond to the world around us.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Our brains are like a Bonzoi tree, So you know,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: the Bonzoi master he or she shapes the tree by
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: trimming it and hanging weights on the branches, and then
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: the tree grows into this unique shape. And that's like
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: our brains, which are shaped by a process called synaptic preening.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: And it's our environment, our emotional experiences, and of course
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: the people in our lives that uniquely shape our brains
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: when we're young and as we grow. Now, if you've
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: experienced a traumatic event or events things like war, physical
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: and emotional abuse, neglect, isolation, or intergenerational trauma or ongoing trauma,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: your brain will disproportionately be shaped through this process. Even
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: if you didn't go through these more extreme traumatic events,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: you still may have experienced an environment which was challenging
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: growing up, and these have likely influenced your default stress
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: response today. So depending on your environment will depend on
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: how your brain may have adapted by becoming more sensitive
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: to stress. And it's your brain doing its job to
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: keep you safe and to keep you alive. But what
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: happens is this response becomes maladaptive, which means in your
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: current environment it cannoten not be helpful. So sometimes we
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: can feel really stuck. But we can gradually change our
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: brains by what we do now, and that's by weakening
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: those connections that are maybe not helpful to us and
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: then strengthening new ones that are so understanding why we
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: respond to stress the way we do can be really empowering.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: It's not about labeling these experiences as good or bad,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: but just having that knowledge and recognizing that they are
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: there for a reason. And so it's really good to
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: have this awareness. And for me, I realized that some
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: of my own stress responses will linked to my childhood experiences,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: some of which were very challenging for me. And just
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: by being aware of it, I now can choose to
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: respond differently to my automatic stress response rather than getting
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: all caught up in it. And that's what I want
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: to share with you today, So not to be a
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: victim of the past or to blame, but to understand
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: how you can understand and influence your emotions in the present.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: And the understanding and thinking about this is really it's helpful,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: but it's not enough because that's just knowledge without the action.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: That's like staying in a library accumulating all this knowledge
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: but not actually doing anything with it. So I've done
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: a few Mijo mondis on how we can respond differently
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: to our thoughts and our emotions using ACT which is
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: acceptance and commitment therapy and Japanese psychology to work on
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: that mindset stuff. You can go back and have a
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: listen to those episodes if you are interested in some
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: mindset tools. But today I'm going to talk about something
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: that's made a huge difference to me, and that is
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: what I do on a daily basis over and above
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: these mindset tools. And this is about action and working
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: not just on our minds and brains, but also our physiology.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: So if you want to be mentally fit, you have
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: to bring the body into it. And I have these
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: daily rituals or non negotiables in place that work on
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: my mindset and my physiology so I can be as
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: optimal as I can each day. And when I say optimal,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I just mean being the best that I can be
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: whatever is going on in my life. So consistency is key,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean it's the same thing every day,
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: because life is forever changing and forever flowing, and we
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: get strown obstacles and curveballs which we then have to
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: adapt to. So what I do each day, or what
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I call the fundamentals, I find that when I commit
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: to them, I live better even when stress shows up,
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: and in fact that's the best time or the optimal
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: time to keep going. And we should all be aware
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: of what our own unique baseline of our wellness is,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: so everyone has their unique baseline, so yours will be
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: different to mine. And if you have a health condition
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: that impedes you from doing some things or horror a
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: lot of things, then you work out what you can
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: do and you work out your baseline. But having conditions
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: is not an excuse to do nothing. So what I
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: want to share with you is how I manage my
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: baseline each day, and I hope if you are struggling
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: with stress that you'll consider what daily rituals are going
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: to help you. And this baseline can change depending on
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: what's going on. So it's not about an all or
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: nothing thinking. You know, what you can do one day
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: maybe different to the next. So, as I said earlier,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: it's about adapting to life's demands, but doing the groundwork
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: on the fundamentals to meet that baseline every day. So
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: the fundamentals I'm talking about mindset, exercise, nutrition, sleep, and connection.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: And I've learned that when I don't prioritize these fundamentals,
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: my day doesn't go as well full stop. I know
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: that because there's been plenty of times when that has happened.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: So the first fundamental that I mentioned was mindset, but
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I'm actually not going to talk about that today because
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: I've done plenty of Mojo mondays that you can access
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: to learn about that. But I will start with exercise,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: and exercise is hugely important to function well in all
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: areas of life. So I am I'm not an athlete,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: I've never been that competitive, but I am dedicated to
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: moving my body every day throughout the day, So even
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: when I'm really busy or I'm not in the mood,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I will do something because I know the consequences of
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: skipping it far outweighs any momentary discomfort. So if I
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: can't do a full session. So I'm currently doing CrossFit,
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: which I love, but if I can't do that, I'll
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: do movement snacks throughout the day. And when I consistently
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: exercise whatever that looks like, I sleep better, I focus better,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I feel stronger, and that strength in my body supports
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: the strength in my mind. Plus I'm a nice person
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: to be around. You can just ask my family and nutrition.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Each day, I focus on my eating. I eat real
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: food and I keep sugar and ultra processed foods to
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: a minimum. I limit my process carbs and I'm not
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: saying that you shouldn't eat them, but moderation is the key.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: And I've increased my protein intake to support my bone density,
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: which I know is low because I've had dexic scans
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: that have shown that, and I want to maintain or
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: even increase my muscle mass as I age, and I
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: carry a water bottle with me wherever I go and
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: I sip water all day to ensure I'm hydrated. If
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: I don't drink water throughout the day, it affects my mood,
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: it affects my energy levels. So it's incredibly important to
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: stay hydrated to make sure that I'm at that baseline.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: And I stop drinking caffeine by around twelve o'clock at
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: the latest so it doesn't impede my sleep. And so
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: let's talk about sleep now. It's a massive priority for me.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: It's the umbrella of all the fundamentals. If I don't
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: have a good night's sleep, I will not be optimal
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: the next day, and so that baseline that I've been
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: talking about will move and everything else needs to be adjusted.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: So I have a pretty strict sleep routine. I stay
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: off screens at least an hour before bed. I avoid
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: alcohol during the week, which I do not just for
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: my sleep, but also even if I have one or
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: two glasses of wine, I know that it affects me
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: the next day. I leave my phone charging outside of
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: the bedroom. I have a routine that usually includes just
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: reading before bed, and I go to bed early most
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: nights and wake up early. And this has had a
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: profound impact on my ability to manage my stress. If
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I don't sleep well, I cannot expect to function at
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: my best. And there is a saying that I love
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: the morning starts the night before for so just reflect
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: on this. Now, what are you doing in the evening
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: that could be reflecting or could be impacting your sleep
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: and then impact how you wake up in the morning.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: So is there something that you could do tonight some
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: tweaks so that you wake up differently tomorrow morning. And
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: if you have your mobile by your beard and you
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: are checking socials or you're checking the news before you
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: go to sleep, then I can guarantee that you will
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: not be sleeping well. It's going to disrupt Sorry, you're
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: circadian timing due to that blue light exposure, and your
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: brain is going to be stimulated relative to whatever content
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: is that you're watching. And then if the first thing
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: you do in the morning is check your phone before
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: you've even put your feet on the ground, that is
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: going to affect or have an impact on how you
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: manage your stress level. And it certainly won't help because
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: what's happening is your brain is on high alert before
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: you've even said good morning to your kids. So if
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: you can do it. Buy an alarm clock and get
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: your mobile phone out of the room and even just
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: experiment with it. Do that for two weeks and just
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: see whether it affects your sleep, and see whether it
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: affects your energy levels throughout the day. And then connection
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: connection with family and friends is also essential. I prioritize
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: quality time with Paul and the kids. I try to
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: be as present as possible. I check in with my
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: extended family, though I probably could do that more often.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: I make time to connect with friends whenever I can.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: And I'm going to throw in their connection with nature.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: So if you're anxious or you are low in energy,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: just going for a walk and notice the trees, noticing
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: the birds and the clouds in the sky can have
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: a huge impact on your energy levels because nature is
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: such an energy booster. So these fundamentals are like my
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: daily anchors. And because I've struggled with my stress, how
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: I respond to stress, and you know that inner chatter
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: in my mind, these daily non negotiables, they what they
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: do is they keep my baseline at a good optimal level,
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: which means that I live well even when the stress
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: is present. So as you go through this week, consider
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: how your early experiences might still be influencing your stress
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: response today. And remember you're not a victim of the past.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: You are in control of the present. So if you
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: do the fundamentals each day and keep that baseline at
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: a level where you can function of deimale even when
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: stress is present, you will find it makes a huge
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: difference to your life. So thank you so much for
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: joining me, and I will catch you next week. Dear