Latest / Libido Lounge / What's Causing My Vaginal Pain and Numbness? Courtney Davis

Transcript

What's Causing My Vaginal Pain and Numbness? Courtney Davis · Libido Lounge

0:00
If I reflect all the way back to my teenage years, there was this drive in me to explore my
0:06
own sexuality, my own pleasure, and to feel sexually empowered.
0:12
And then coming into my early twenties, I started coming across new teachings.
0:19
I attended different kind of workshops through my travels, kind of alternative ways of
0:24
connecting to my body and ended up having a big awakening where I realized that the way I'd
0:30
been pursuing my own sexual empowerment was actually quite disconnected from myself and my
0:35
own body.
0:36
And part of that was the discovering and the creation of products that actually supported
0:41
that.
0:41
One of the reasons why when women switch from vibrators to a non vibrating pleasure wand, one
0:47
of the reasons why that is such a significant experience for women is because when we slow
0:52
down and actually start to presence them, it's like, there's actually a lot of information
0:56
that wants to be felt and met before our body can, authentically open into deeper pleasure.
1:02
One of the first practices that I invite women into is called I think there's this notion in
1:07
the spiritual healing community of, you know, feel it to heal it.
1:10
We receive just, you know, endless stories from women who work with the wands for dearmoring
1:15
purposes or just to start to experience slower self pleasure that's more connected to
1:20
themselves.
1:21
One of my favorite stones to work with, particularly for a woman who is, like, in
1:26
between relationships or perhaps even going through a breakup is, one of the other, like,
1:33
stronger and really popular stones is
1:41
Hey, everybody.
1:42
Quick break at our episode to talk to you about our sponsor, My Libido Doc.
1:46
One of the things that we truly believe is that great sex is available to everyone, but we just
1:54
have to learn how.
1:55
So head over to our site to get your free copy of our e book, Five Steps to Mind Blowing
2:04
Orgasms and Romance.
2:06
Get the quick and easy tips to turn your sex life around, rev up your engines, and fall in
2:13
deeper love and passion with yourself and your partner.
2:16
So if you just go to mysexdoc.com, you will find that e book there for download.
2:23
Now back to our show.
2:25
Hey, everybody.
2:26
I am so excited to introduce you to Courtney Davis.
2:30
We are gonna have a great show, and this show is going to be really targeting women, but also
2:37
is gonna be amazing for any male partners in their lives too because you're gonna learn a
2:42
little bit more about how to really please the woman in your life.
2:47
One of the things that we see so often is that women can hold emotions in their vagina and
2:55
their cervix and their clitoris and all of their lovely, lovely, lovely erogenous zones.
3:00
And with this, sometimes sex can be painful.
3:03
Sometimes we can dissociate.
3:05
Sometimes things can be numb.
3:07
And oftentimes, we are not told about this, and we're not told how to deal with these feelings
3:11
and how to process through allowing our bodies to release these, allowing our bodies to
3:18
actually experience the pleasure that we were born for.
3:21
So this is why I invited Courtney to the show today.
3:24
She's a sexual wellness entrepreneur, and she's a pioneer of the slow pleasure movement, which
3:30
is amazing.
3:31
Right?
3:31
Because one of the things I know I hear over and over and over again from women across the
3:36
board is that it is too fast, that we need to slow down.
3:41
So she's a pioneer of this movement, and she's also developed a ton of product lines,
3:46
including the wands crystal pleasure wand.
3:49
And I have one here today.
3:51
She's gonna show off a bunch for us as well.
3:53
And gonna talk about how this is different than classic dildos or vibrators, and what it can
3:58
actually help you do to bring more pleasure into your life.
4:04
She has a ton of other cool products like the free bleed waterproof blankets, helping women
4:09
to go through their menses without the use of uncomfortable and sometimes toxic pads and
4:15
tampons, and so much more.
4:17
So everybody, I am your host, doctor Diane, the founder of my libido doc, and I am thrilled you
4:24
are here with me today, everybody.
4:25
And thank you, Courtney.
4:27
I'm thrilled to have you as well.
4:28
Thank you, and welcome to the show.
4:30
Thank you for having me.
4:32
Well, we're gonna talk about all these juicy topics I talked about today.
4:35
But before we do that, I wanna hear a little bit about just you because this is such an
4:41
interesting company you own.
4:42
Right?
4:42
You're making products and really supporting women in a in a in a kind of a different way
4:47
than a lot of our, like, traditional sex toy companies are doing.
4:53
So how did you get involved in this super unique way of supporting females?
5:01
Yeah.
5:02
I think, you know, if I if I reflect all the way back to my teenage years, there was this
5:06
drive in me to explore my own sexuality, my own pleasure, and to feel sexually empowered.
5:15
And initially, that came with sort of images of what sexual empowerment looked like through the
5:20
media and, you know, Samantha Jones, that kind of thing.
5:23
And so, you know, initially, it it looked like using vibrators, buying my girlfriends all of
5:29
their first vibrators, really being like an advocate for my own right and other women's
5:34
right to to pursuing their own pleasure.
5:37
And that continued through my teenage years, you know, even embracing like more promiscuous
5:42
behavior and feeling a rightness in that in myself.
5:46
And then coming into my early twenties, I I started coming across new teachings.
5:53
I attended different kind of workshops through my travels, kind of alternative ways of
5:58
connecting to my body, and ended up having a big awakening where I realized that the way I'd
6:04
been kind of pursuing my own sexual empowerment was actually quite disconnected from myself and
6:08
my own body.
6:10
So then came in a deeper journey of really learning what it meant to feel myself, to honor
6:17
myself, and then to experience my sexuality from that place.
6:23
And part of that was the discovering and the creation of products that actually supported
6:28
that.
6:29
So whereas vibrators and more conventional sex toys can be great, you know, I still use them
6:34
from time to time.
6:37
I found that that was more so, like, this high stimulation, almost like chasing a feeling type
6:43
experience.
6:45
Whereas with the pleasure wands, the one that you held up a couple minutes ago and the other
6:50
ones that we offer, it's really about inviting women to slow down and connect with more subtle
6:56
sensations, connect with where they are emotionally in the moment, and meeting their
7:00
body and their deep tissues in a much more intimate way.
7:05
Yeah.
7:05
It's it's so wonderful, and I really appreciate what you're saying around this, you know, level
7:11
of disconnection with this part of ourselves.
7:14
What do you think is in and I you know, this is totally opinion.
7:19
Right?
7:19
Because there's so many different people we see in the world that can help us with, our sexual
7:24
history.
7:25
But with what you've seen in your work, what do you think some of the biggest things are that
7:30
lead to a woman to be disconnected from her own body parts, this, her own female anatomy?
7:36
Like, why does this even happen, and how does a woman even know if this is happening to her?
7:43
Yeah.
7:43
I think a lot of it just stems from, like, our our lifestyle and society and the pace that we
7:48
are living at.
7:49
Like, there's just not enough slowing down, presencing, really meeting ourselves where we
7:53
are in the moment.
7:54
It's a lot of, like, operating from sort of the vision of of where we think we need to get to
8:00
as opposed to starting from where we are and then actually listening to the intelligence of
8:06
the body.
8:07
Like, what is the body asking for?
8:08
Where is the body guiding us?
8:11
There's a lot of to the yeah.
8:13
Living from the the mental constructs and the patterns that we, you know, adapted and adopted
8:18
to survive in given the conditions that we're all being brought up in.
8:24
So I think, yeah, just basic, like, principles of how how we've adapted to live.
8:30
The society that we're in is a starting point.
8:35
And then from there is is, like, we've internalized a lot of unhelpful ideas around
8:41
sex, and I think that there's a very masculinized portrayal of female sexuality that
8:46
also exists in the media where women, you know, were watching porn or were watching movies and
8:53
we're expecting our our bodies to respond in a certain way based on being shown.
8:59
And a lot of us aren't even provided the idea that maybe maybe that's actually not what our
9:07
body wants.
9:08
And that's not actually what brings pleasure.
9:11
That's not what fulfills us.
9:12
And that's not to say high stimulation, like, high intensity experiences can't be fulfilling,
9:17
but it's more so, like, where is that experience arising from?
9:20
Is it coming from a pattern and something you've just internalized seeing in in the
9:24
outside world, or is it arising from the true longing of the body?
9:29
Yeah.
9:30
I think you bring up some really important points, I've, you know, I've noticed in my own
9:33
life, like, around this, what we're talking about around, oh, there's just so much going on
9:38
and, you know, it's so easy to deprioritize pleasure that one of the points I wanted to
9:43
bring up is that this whole concept, right, I think it's like a it's an evolution of, like,
9:48
changing and and relearning it over and over and over again.
9:51
So it's like, oh, finally figure out how to, like, slow down and be more present and balance
9:57
stress, and then all of a sudden, life kicks us into our familial patterns, and all of a
10:02
sudden, we might feel that disconnection.
10:05
And so at least in my own experience, it's like this kind of this ebb and flow of like
10:09
realizing, oh, I'm actually disconnected from my own body, and here's how to get back into
10:17
it.
10:18
And for me, one of the biggest triggers I notice is if I'm disconnected from my own body
10:23
and I'm, like, not feeling, you know, the pleasure, I'm not dropping into the sensations,
10:29
some of that is just realizing my mind wanders more, some of it is realizing that I'm, like,
10:33
snappier, some of it is just this feeling of, like, ending every day with this sense with
10:39
this, statement of, I'm so exhausted, and that's, like, a big key if I start saying that
10:44
a lot, right, to trigger me into saying, what?
10:46
You might not be fully in your body right now.
10:49
So and I bring this up because then, you know, kind of the follow-up question for you is,
10:53
like, how do women and and humans too.
10:57
I mean, I think this applies to all humans.
11:00
But how do how do we begin to realize, like, okay, we are more disconnected, and we are more
11:05
disconnected to our our pleasure centers?
11:08
Because I think what can happen sometimes is we get into these habits and we get busy and we
11:12
get overwhelmed, we start these new, like, paths, And then all of a sudden, it's like one
11:20
month, a quarter, a year goes by, and we've been disconnected from our pleasure center this
11:24
whole time and haven't even realized it.
11:27
So have you seen anything that helps, like, helps people kinda just realize this?
11:31
Like, wow.
11:31
I'm disconnected.
11:32
I'm not feeling.
11:33
I'm not enjoying sensation.
11:34
I'm not enjoying pleasure.
11:36
And, you know, maybe I'm, like, even completely, you know, numb in my genitals and
11:41
in my anatomy.
11:42
What what are, like, some of the key things that you have found to help women realize this,
11:47
oh, yeah.
11:48
I need to do some of these practices to actually come home to myself again.
11:52
Yeah.
11:53
I think, unfortunately, a lot of times, it it involves, like, symptoms getting to the point
11:58
where women just can't help but start to look deeper.
12:00
It's like extreme burnout or lack of fulfillment in their sex life or vaginal pain,
12:06
pelvic pain.
12:08
In a lot of cases, is like a more extreme symptom that forces us to look deeper and have
12:13
to explore something something else.
12:16
You know, when it's a more subtle symptom, like maybe it's a lack of natural vaginal
12:21
lubrication, like you're having trouble getting naturally lubricated even though you're only 25
12:26
years old.
12:28
It's easy to, you know, to think, oh, maybe something's going like, dismiss it.
12:34
Like, maybe something's a little bit off with my hormones.
12:35
Maybe I'm a little bit stressed.
12:37
But it's like, as the symptom gets stronger and stronger, we we are faced with having to look
12:41
at it and and really uncover the root.
12:44
So, yeah, I think I think the the big in your face symptoms is certainly one of them, and
12:51
then there's gonna be people who are are sensitive to a lack of fulfillment at earlier
12:55
stages.
12:56
Know?
12:56
For some people, they'll they'll really feel like, man, I'm not I'm not sexually fulfilled
13:00
here, or I'm not I'm not nourished here with whatever's going on in my life to the extent
13:05
that I know I can be, and and so then begins an investigation of that.
13:12
Yeah.
13:12
So and then my follow-up question of that is, okay.
13:15
So somebody has gone through this.
13:17
They realize that they are, like, disconnected.
13:20
And one of the places, and and really all places, we can store, I think, trauma and
13:25
emotions and memory in all places.
13:28
I think the pelvic floor is so interesting because in, chiropractic medicine, I'm not a
13:34
chiropractor but I'm a naturopathic doctor and we're trained in some chiropractic medicine.
13:38
And in chiropractic medicine, there's this kind of saying of like as above, so below, so what's
13:43
happening in the top of the spine and the top of the structure happens, like, really kind of,
13:50
like, the opposite, like, like below in the pelvis.
13:53
So if we're talking about a problem in this example that arises in the jaw, then you will
13:58
see that a similar type of pattern actually arise in the sacrum and the pelvis area.
14:04
And this is like super interesting to me medically speaking when it comes to this
14:09
concept of vaginal pain because so many people walk around grinding their teeth, locked jaw,
14:16
like, you know, clenching TMJ, it's such a problem.
14:21
And then whatever's going on in the jaw is one of many things that can actually translate down
14:26
to the pelvis.
14:27
We wind up with our pelvic floor muscles tightening, we wind up with this, like the
14:32
cervix and some of the muscles that are going into our vagina, that are going into our
14:37
clitoris, all of these areas, they almost are, like, locked down just like the jaw can.
14:43
And I think this is one of the many reasons why people have things like pelvic pain and and,
14:49
vaginal issues is because of that stress and everything you're talking about, and, like,
14:55
literally, we carry that in our musculature and in our ligaments.
14:59
So one of the things that, you know, has always interested me about the wands is this idea of
15:06
dearmoring, of actually allowing these muscles and these ligaments and these tendons that tend
15:12
to not only get tight to make us be in pain, but also store memories, also store stress,
15:17
also store all of these emotions.
15:20
So can you talk to us a little bit about what you've seen?
15:24
Have you seen anything, like, specifically around the concept of, like, why like what does
15:29
it look like for these areas to hold emotion, and what is the process of of dearmoring to
15:36
help these muscles actually release, and what have you seen with that?
15:41
Yeah.
15:41
So when it comes to dearmoring, like, there can be this deeper exploration of, like, yeah,
15:47
deeper massage, really, like, working with the the structure of the pelvis.
15:52
And Courtney, real fast before you go on, can you actually take a step back and explain to
15:56
everybody what dearmoring means?
15:58
Because I think everybody might not know that term.
16:00
So would you mind starting there?
16:02
Yeah.
16:03
Thanks.
16:03
Yeah.
16:03
So dearmoring dearmoring comes from the notion that our tissue can armor itself as a way of
16:13
basically protecting itself or holding emotion or information, unprocessed memories, that kind
16:19
of thing.
16:20
And so we are particular particularly prone to developing armor in our erogenous zones.
16:28
And so with dearmoring, it's about working usually hands on, more like deep physical,
16:37
emotional, energetic meeting of the tissue to allow what is stored there to be released, to
16:44
move, and so it's no longer being held there.
16:47
It's no longer stagnant.
16:48
It's no longer contributing to things like pain and numbness.
16:55
It's dearmoring is is newer in the sense like, you know, if you talk to most medical doctors,
17:00
they're not going to they're not going to know what it is or even know to suggest it.
17:04
Not a medical term.
17:08
But, yeah, more and more women are waking up to it and developing a hands on relationship with
17:14
their own tissue and discovering how much is actually held there and creating symptoms that
17:20
medically are otherwise hard to explain.
17:24
Yeah.
17:25
I I love it.
17:26
I I look at I love to, you know, just try to find a scientific reason for everything.
17:32
Not that there is one, but as much as possible, it really helps my brain get behind the
17:36
understanding of this.
17:37
So I I've looked at dearmoring as almost like when we do, like, a trigger point massage.
17:42
Right?
17:42
And one of the things that happens with trigger point massage is when we find these areas where
17:46
there's maybe these these what am I blanking on my words?
17:53
But essentially where the the fascia and the the muscles kinda get tangled, almost like
17:58
adhesions.
17:59
Right?
17:59
So when we get these places, say, in our quadriceps and our biceps, you know, some of
18:05
these other areas, we the muscle will not function as well, and they hold a lot of
18:11
stress.
18:12
They hold a lot of trauma, but they basically are just uncomfortable.
18:15
The muscle's not functioning.
18:17
And when we do, like, a trigger point massage, what we're doing is few different things, but
18:21
one of the things we're doing is bringing the brain's awareness of this tissue and what's
18:25
going on to help with the healing, and that's sort of how I've looked at the some of the the
18:30
process of the armoring is, like, okay.
18:33
What we're doing in a way is similar to any other muscle in our body in many ways.
18:37
Obviously, it's a little more sensitive, and it's a little more erotic and all these other
18:41
juicy yummy things, but we're essentially allowing these, the muscle muscles and tissues
18:47
to like, the neurological system to find themselves better and the muscles and tissues
18:51
to, process better and to move better and to function better and and all those things just
18:56
like any other muscle.
18:58
So so what is the process then as far as dearmoring, as far as getting these muscles to
19:04
function and bringing the awareness back and all this sort of thing?
19:07
What is the process that you've seen with, like, the wand, and I know you have some wands
19:12
there too, that is different than somebody, say, just using a traditional vibrator for
19:18
something like this?
19:21
Yeah.
19:21
So a traditional vibrator or just high stimulation contact like that is generally not
19:28
gonna create enough space to really presence whatever the information is that we're trying
19:34
to contact.
19:35
Like, one of the reasons why when women switch from vibrators to a non vibrating pleasure
19:40
wand, one of the reasons why that is such a significant experience for women is because it
19:45
no longer allows them to bypass a bunch of information that's there.
19:50
Like, with vibrators, we can just kind of drive ourselves with simulation towards that peak
19:54
pleasure experience.
19:56
Whereas when we're actually slowed down with, like, a pleasure wand contacting ourselves in
20:01
the moment, it's like we're meeting much more of the information that's there, including
20:07
Hey, everybody.
20:08
Quick break at our episode to talk to you about our sponsor, MyLibidoDoc.
20:13
One of the things that we truly believe is that great sex is available to everyone, but we just
20:20
have to learn how.
20:21
So head over to our site to get your free copy of our e book, Five Steps to Mind Blowing
20:30
Orgasms and Romance.
20:32
Get the quick and easy tips to turn your sex life around, rev up your engines, and fall in
20:39
deeper love and passion with yourself and your partner.
20:42
So if you just go to mysexdoc.com, you will find that e book there for download.
20:49
Now back to our show.
20:51
Boundaries including, you know, stored emotions, trauma, things that we may have
20:57
experienced but kind of bypassed in the moment, in our past, and then when we slow down and
21:03
actually start to presence them, it's like, wow.
21:05
There's actually a lot of information that wants to be felt and met before our body can
21:10
authentically open into deeper pleasure.
21:14
And so In some ways, it's I'm sorry.
21:16
Please continue.
21:16
Go ahead.
21:17
And so, when, like, for women to begin the process of dearmoring, a lot of times, like, it
21:23
it's not even about moving towards deeper massage right away.
21:28
It's like, can you actually just slow down, like, place a hand on yourself, breathe, and
21:33
meet what is here right now, and then we go deeper from there.
21:39
And then I'm curious what your process is, and I know, you know, like we talked about you have
21:44
courses and all sorts of training materials for for people, but kind of big picture wise, I'm
21:50
curious what your process is if, like, if a woman is interested in trying this because
21:56
there can be so many, like you said, there can be so many emotions, right, and these areas,
22:00
especially when we get into, you know, certain parts of our vagina, and for a lot of women,
22:05
their cervix, since we hold so many memories there, but also this is a part of the body that
22:09
is not touched hardly at all.
22:13
And so there can be so much, just stuff there.
22:16
Right?
22:17
You like you said, emotion stuff to process.
22:19
And because of that, it can be a wild process sometimes of like, wow, why is this pain or why
22:25
is this numb or why do I touch this place?
22:27
And I immediately want to cry and like you said, like, get the information and what it's
22:32
teaching us, which can be a wide variety of things.
22:35
So how do you find in your process of going slow, since I know that's part of your process,
22:42
how do you find that women should start with this in a way that when things come up, it's
22:47
going at a pace that their nervous system can handle and and and those kind of things?
22:52
How do how like, walk us through kind of, like, the beginning part of of the pleasure practice.
22:58
Yeah.
22:58
Absolutely.
22:59
So in in my coursework and when I start to teach women how to go on this journey for
23:05
themselves, we start really gently.
23:08
Like, before there's even physical hands on touch, we are just simply bringing our
23:14
awareness to our vagina to the to the pelvic bowl.
23:18
One of the first practices that I invite women into is just called yoni gazing.
23:23
So it's the practice of sitting in front of a mirror and meditatively gazing at their vulva
23:30
and just being with what arises.
23:33
And a lot of times there's, you know, there's shame, there's all kinds of voices that come up
23:38
just through that practice alone.
23:40
And so, yeah, we start slowly just by, like, starting to presence our attention on the
23:48
vagina and the pelvic bowl, and then really titrating.
23:54
Like, we're it's not about going in and, like, cleaning up all of the unprocessed information
23:59
all at once.
24:00
It's like, hey, let's go in.
24:01
Let's meet a couple of layers, and then let's take a break and allow the body and the whole
24:06
nervous system to restabilize.
24:09
I think there's this notion in the spiritual healing community of, you know, feel it to heal
24:13
it and people wanna feel it all the way through.
24:16
And at the same time, if if your approach is always trying to feel more so that you can come
24:21
to completion and heal, it's like you're always gonna find more to feel.
24:25
So I'm not a huge advocate of like digging deeper and deeper and deeper.
24:31
More so like, let's go in, feel a couple of layers come out, stabilize, and then feel when
24:36
that next natural wave comes of wanting to go deeper deeper again.
24:41
Yeah.
24:41
I couldn't really I kinda agree with you more there.
24:44
That resonates with me so much because I have found sometimes that when we just kinda get in
24:50
this process, right, of, like, pushing and pushing and pushing and that alone can be
24:55
dissociative.
24:56
Like, there's so many things that when there's so many, like, parts of processing that when
25:00
something comes up, allowing the nervous system to, like you said, stabilize.
25:04
And to me, that's, like, almost coming back into that parasympathetic, that part that is
25:10
restful, where it's healing, where the nervous system is sending out the signals of safety.
25:16
And if we're just pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, essentially, I think what we're doing
25:20
is we're just allowing that stimulative the sympathetic system to be moving so quickly, and
25:28
that is, like, where we pop out of our body.
25:31
Right?
25:31
When it's, like, so much, the body can't stabilize, you know, using your words, and and
25:36
we tend to dissociate more easily and that sort of thing.
25:40
So in this sort of practice then, have you seen, like, what have you seen as far as, like,
25:46
healing occur with the wand?
25:48
Like, have you seen things like pelvic pain completely disappear?
25:52
Have you seen vaginal numbness disappear?
25:55
Like, you know, what other amazing kind of things have you seen from the use of your wand?
26:02
Yeah.
26:02
I've seen so much of that, like, just regularly, you know, women having profound
26:06
experiences right from oftentimes, like, the very first experience of holding their wand and
26:10
sort of realizing the journey they're about to go on.
26:13
It's like, even that in itself is is a big wake up for a lot of women.
26:18
But, yeah, we receive just, you know, endless stories from women who work with the wands for
26:24
dearmoring purposes or just to start to experience slower self pleasure that's more
26:29
connected to themselves.
26:32
Pelvic pain, pussy pain, that's a huge one that we continuously receive testimonials of people
26:38
healing and recovering completely from that, where through using Pleasure Ones and some of
26:46
the practices that they teach, it's like such reconnection and, like, recognition of
26:52
boundaries, desires, needs comes into place where the pain and the armoring that was there
26:59
to sort of protect parts of themselves previously just gets to drop away and all new
27:05
levels of pleasure and sensitivity can come online.
27:09
So, yeah, pelvic and vaginal pain, that's a major one that shifts and heals completely for
27:15
a lot of women through this work.
27:18
But also just awakening new pleasure pathways, like, you know, internal vaginal orgasms, so
27:23
like a g spot orgasm or a cervical orgasm, which may have felt completely out of reach for
27:29
women, starts to become accessible or something that they just naturally find themselves
27:34
experiencing after they have communed with our cervix more deeply and released the different
27:41
layers of, like, numbness and pain there as well.
27:45
And then I would also say just, like, more fulfilling intimacy.
27:48
It's, like, when you're more connected with yourself, you're aware of what your body's
27:52
asking for, you're aware of what a yes and a no feels like on subtler and subtler levels, like,
27:57
that's going to lead you into more fulfilling intimacy with another person as well.
28:03
Yeah.
28:04
And I can see all that.
28:05
Right?
28:05
Like, with the shape of it, you have, like, the natural part that's gonna easily get to your g
28:09
zone, but it's it's long enough, and because of the way it is shaped, you can get to so many
28:16
different parts of our genitals and of our anatomy.
28:20
So it relieves for the ability to be very, say, flexible and open with all the different tissue
28:25
that it can actually touch and and improve upon.
28:28
And one of the things I wanted to touch on too today is in a lot of your wands, you're using
28:35
different types of crystals.
28:37
You're using different types of gemstones, and I think this is an important thing to talk
28:40
about because you in the vibrator world, we talk about things like, okay, well, silicone
28:45
tends to be a pretty safe toy from a standpoint of toxins.
28:49
Right?
28:49
So, you know, from a standpoint of standard vibrators, it's like, well, don't use the
28:53
plastic.
28:54
We don't want all those toxins in the vagina or in the anus or wherever people are using their
28:59
toys.
29:00
So we see that oftentimes from a toxin perspective with some of your standard
29:04
vibrators.
29:05
But I think a less common thing that unless we look in like the jade egg world, which we've
29:10
talked about on this podcast before, there's not the same level, feel like, of conversation
29:17
of, hey, using different types of gemstones in our toys.
29:23
And so your wands are very, you know, they're very unique that way.
29:28
So what is it about these different gemstones that also aids in healing responses?
29:34
And why might, you know, women that are interested in this, why might a woman choose
29:39
one particular gemstone to work with versus another?
29:41
Can you tell us a little bit about that?
29:44
Yeah.
29:45
So just as a starting point when it comes to using pleasure wands and tools that are made of
29:50
crystal, you know, aside from the specific crystal properties of each, just using an
29:56
object that is so beautiful and artfully designed, I think creates a a powerful shift to
30:03
begin with, you know, as opposed to using, like, something that's made of silicone, maybe
30:07
feels a bit more like clinical or medical in some way, using crystal or glass as well tends
30:15
to feel quite artful and beautiful.
30:17
And that in itself sets the tone for engaging with ourselves in a more intentional way that's
30:23
more self appreciative and and self honoring.
30:26
But when it comes to the crystals, so I've got I've got a few here in the screen, it it really
30:33
depends on sort of where the woman is at and what she's looking to shift in her physiology
30:39
and in her emotional body.
30:41
And so as a starting point, we always encourage women, like, just notice what you feel most
30:47
drawn to.
30:47
If there's a certain stone that really seems to call to you or you find particularly beautiful,
30:52
you can just trust that.
30:55
However, based on kind of what you're working with and where you presently are, we can also
31:00
make recommendations.
31:02
One of my favorite stones to work with, particularly for a woman who is, like, in
31:07
between relationships or perhaps even going through a breakup is clear quartz because of
31:13
how it is so clearing of the energetic field.
31:17
Like, I've found when I work with clear quartz, there's a way that, like, foreign energies and
31:23
and things that I feel like are kind of clouding my own field in some way just
31:29
dissipate and there's an enhanced sense of feeling myself as separate from all of the
31:34
other energies in my life.
31:37
So for that reason, I might work with clear quartz.
31:40
One of the other, like, stronger and really popular stones is black obsidian.
31:45
It's known for being particularly grounding stones.
31:48
So I normally would not recommend black obsidian for a beginner unless you feel
31:54
strongly cold because it is known for bringing more of, like, trauma and dense emotions and
32:01
things to the surface to be processed.
32:03
So normally, if you're just starting to dip your toes into this work, recommend with work
32:09
recommend working with such a strong stone just because it can be quite intense.
32:13
But there is no wrong stone to start with.
32:16
And the grounding energy of obsidian also can contribute with creating a feeling of safety in
32:22
the body, and you're starting to work with some of this deeper information in your body.
32:29
Rose quartz, super popular again.
32:31
This is one of my favorite stones.
32:32
I always return to it.
32:35
I mean, women are often getting into this work because they wanna deepen them their connection
32:39
with themselves, deepen self love, self acceptance, and that's what rose quartz is all
32:43
about.
32:45
Some I would say that some more gentle stone and yeah.
32:49
A lot of a lot of beginners start off with those quartz.
32:55
And another one of my favorites is amethyst, actually.
33:00
There's something with amethyst that's very, like, emotionally soothing, calming, and so for
33:05
women that experience a lot of anxiety with, like, even coming into connection with their
33:11
body or with sexual intimacy, this can be a beautiful stone to work with.
33:16
In that regard, a lot of beginners start off with those.
33:19
I encourage women not to think too too much about the properties and really trust, like,
33:23
what is your intuition on you towards?
33:25
What do you feel most drawn to?
33:27
And in my experience, like, I I obviously because I own the company, I have many many
33:31
different wands and crystals at this point, and my experience is that I'll work a particular
33:36
stone for some time, and and then I just feel complete with it, and I move on to something
33:40
else that that calls me more.
33:43
Yeah.
33:43
So beautiful.
33:44
You know, I I really appreciate all forms of energy in medicine and and subtle energy, that
33:51
we see in these stones, think, is more powerful than I think a lot of people give it credit
33:56
for.
33:57
I like, as you're talking, I'm reminded of a meditation, a visualization I did a while ago
34:04
when I had broken up with a partner, and I was in the bathtub just kind of, like, doing this
34:10
cleansing type of meditation.
34:12
Right, just try to release my energy from his, and all of a sudden I got this vision of this
34:18
huge fire hose up into my yoni and like sucking out my life force.
34:24
And so I did this whole, like, you know, thing with, like, pulling out this fire hose and
34:29
releasing, etcetera, etcetera, and, you know, and that felt really good.
34:33
I have a girlfriend who had actually, when I was telling her this, had a similar type of
34:38
experience, but for her, she was, like, also releasing a past lover, and there was, like, a
34:43
hook.
34:44
She said it was, like, this, like, ginormous hook that was energetically in her cervix.
34:49
Obviously, we're talking, you know, energetic hooks here for our listeners and not real hooks
34:53
or fire hoses, but, you know, the idea of this and then having that type of that frequency.
35:00
Right?
35:00
Because I think this is what it is.
35:01
It's like we leave that frequency, that imprint behind, and we see that, you know, these
35:06
crystals have their unique properties, their unique frequencies, their unique subtle
35:11
energies.
35:12
And so just, you know, thinking through that process, and this was, you know, before I knew
35:17
about, you know, the crystal wands out there, but I can imagine how healing, you know, adding
35:23
that layer to this type of, practice could be when we are oftentimes storing those memories
35:29
that don't even have to be necessarily trauma and could be, but oftentimes could be just like
35:35
kind of that past, that frequency, that memory, that's that's, that type of, say, energy that
35:43
we're really just trying to release from a previous partner so that we can be more free
35:48
and more in our individuality to go into our next relationship.
35:53
Yeah.
35:54
Yeah.
35:54
And one thing that I do wanna add because not everyone listening is going to believe in
35:59
crystal properties and I Sure.
36:00
For some people, it's it's not really within their kind of framework of the world.
36:05
And so if that's you and you're listening, one thing to also know about the crystal wands is a
36:11
lot of it comes down to intention.
36:12
So it's like, what is the intention that you're using the wand for?
36:16
How do you wanna connect to yourself in the process?
36:19
What are you working towards with it?
36:21
And and when you're really connected to that intention, that also enhances the
36:25
transformation.
36:26
So, yeah, if if you look at a a certain crystal, you find it beautiful, and then you
36:31
learn that its properties are, you know, enhancing self love, enhancing self acceptance.
36:36
It's like, maybe in addition to relying on the crystal properties themselves to do that work,
36:42
it's like your intention gets to come into play and you get bring that into your practice.
36:47
Yeah.
36:48
Beautiful.
36:48
I love it.
36:50
Well, I think that's about a wrap for today, and everybody, we are going to have links for
36:55
you in the show notes about Courtney, about her businesses, about how to get these various
37:00
wands, courses, etcetera.
37:02
So we're gonna put all of that in the show notes for you guys today.
37:06
Courtney, is there anything before we sign off that you're like, we have to say this before we
37:10
go?
37:17
I think just just offering an invitation to women wherever you are in your journey, whether
37:22
you're feeling inspired after listening to this to to dive into, like, the deep work of the
37:27
armoring the vagina or exploring slow pleasure practices, just an invitation to come into more
37:34
connection with your pussy in general.
37:38
And that can look like simply placing a hand on her and acknowledging her, And, you know, the
37:45
journey begins just simply by deciding that you wanna have a relationship with your pelvic
37:49
bowl.
37:50
Amazing.
37:51
Well, thank you so much.
37:52
And, yeah, just reminding everybody that pleasure is your birthright.
37:56
Right?
37:56
Pleasure is part of how we balance our body.
37:59
Pleasure is a gift from God, spirit, universe, whatever you wanna call that energy, and it
38:07
really is part of balancing your hormones, balancing your mind, becoming more intimate
38:12
with yourself, your partner, and really beginning to heal or continuing to heal
38:17
yourself in some of the deepest ways while also having a ton of fun.
38:23
So thank you everybody for listening to another episode of the lounge.
38:26
Again, you'll find Courtney's information in the show notes, and I will see you again really
38:31
soon.
38:32
Ciao for now.
38:35
Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
38:38
Please don't keep me a secret.
38:39
Please share this with your friends.
38:41
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.